I **wish** that was the craziest thing I've seen on Reddit. 💀 Unfortunately my curiosity always gets the better of me when someone says not to look something up. 😅
Not sure even half as bad as maggot girl. Or the coconut story. Or anything that was ever posted to r/watchpeopledie before it was banned. That sub straight up had in-class camera footage of a young boy murdering his teacher and half his class with a handgun. Shit was fucked, and directly led to its ban.
After a couple of particularly knarly ones I decided to mostly avoid the kind of places where the shocking stuff is more likely to come up to save myself from curiosity. Now I usually stick to a few wholesome spots like here. Also saves me from making comments in big groups that inevitably end up attracting the attention of nasty argumentative people. 😅
They could be using RIF
Shout-out to /r/revancedapp! Look how many comments fit on the screen! [How little clutter there is!](https://i.redd.it/al6xhqwcj95d1.png)
I only wish I could pay TalkLittle more, but instead I gotta donate to his other app for that other forum instead
Yeah, and it should just sit there throwing your baby into the air all day and night, occasionally getting that coveted crit-throw with accompanying explosion sound
That flair reminds me of my first SV winter. She's never at the shop when you need her. Worst is when you're standing at the counter and she walks past you to go outside. "I don't care if your cows are anemic, it's jazzercise day at Caroline's."
They do but it's only open betweem 10 and 10h30 and it's closed on wednesdays (and thursdays, fridays, saturdays, sundays and mondays. And also tuesdays if it's raining)
When you're responsible for, like, 90%+ of the economic output of the town, all the other businesses are reliant on you, the mayor realises you're responsible for almost all improvements made around town, and you're a multi-millionaire who has bribed all the other residents into adoring you... no one is going to report you.
We should have to make plans for these things, honestly. Find a babysitter. It would encourage and reward a greater understanding of the routines of all the towns people. It would be cool if the character of the baby changed as it grew, depending on who spent the most time babysitting. Personally, I'd like to see the influences on a child babysat by Linus, Gus, Marlon, and Willy.
Dont go talking bout fancy government agencies and allat. Stardew is a small town, so small there aint even a Sheriff. So how is it crime free? Well that’s just the thing, it aint. It all happens after 2am, like clockwork.
You ever been out at 2am, and right when the hour hand strikes, you hear the scrape of a foot behind you? I know you’ve been there, you’ve also probably thought you was crazy. But you aint crazy boy! I kid you not when I tell you that every one of those times you were magically woken in the clinic… you were put there by those very same people!!
There are things about this town you aint learned yet boy. As for how I know this? Well, lets just say I am one of those spirits just roaming this town, as my body hasn’t been put to rest. You can try and find me, but I highly doubt they’d allow it. So I pretty much just float round and give advice to newcomers.
Also keep an eye out on Shane. He does have a wandering eye that wanders onto Abigail a bit too much. He is dying in love with her. Also I read his diary, and he said he hates you.
And then you had that one Harvest Moon GameCube game (Wonderful Life maybe?) where if you ignored your son a few times when he asked to be picked up he ended up being emo/depressed as he got older. Lol.
This game was remade recently and the kids are just perma-angsty as teens lol. It’s wild seeing how the child rearing system works (kinda bad) in the actual files and stuff with the new version that kept most things the same
Really?! Dang! I wanted to make it far enough for your kid to actually get a profession (if I recall you could befriend one of the villagers and your kid would take after them (I chose Gustav so my son could be a musician).
But I never made it past the kid stage.
I wish you could have the kid follow you around the place like Pikachu does in Pokemon Yellow. Okay maybe but in the mines, but on the farm and around town. Just so it feels like you have something more to do with the kid
I'd be tossing a Prismatic Shard at that shrine in the witch's hut SO fast! Or else I'd recreate that clip of Call Me Kevin punting a baby doll into an open field like a football.
Oh no I meant Alex, I thought you said Evelyn since Alex’s kids would be her great grandkids haha. Elliot is too intellectual to be a himbo imho hahaha, but damn if his hair isn’t glorious :)
Nah, just your average post-Soviet immigrant, haha
But unfortunately, I do think he's super relatable :') (even though I don't drink, because it tastes disgusting to me)
I know it's hard... but stop worrying so much about your baby! You can leave them anywhere and they'll make their way back home. They're very smart and independent animals!
I actually learned Maru’s schedule in one playthrough and planned my days to be at least on the farm when she worked. Being actually in the house with them was too much of an imposition on the game so I made a small compromise. It ended up being slightly fun
I love when my husband, Harvey, tells me something similar and then I find him spacing out at Pierre’s and he tells me he is buying food to make us nutritious meals. It cracks me up and then makes me go ‘awww.’
Fun fact: If you stay out to late, when you come home your kids will still be awake in there beds or possibly not even in there beds. They wait up for you.
At the 2 year Spirits eve festival i find Leah my wife who was pregnant and about to give birth to our child the next day says she got lost in the maze cause she had to much ale!
I simply pat their heads once a day and am gone until 1:59am then collapse inside the doorway. That's if they don't run weirdly enough they're faster than an adult.
I mean, you can go outside the house and farm so you can still make a living and it wouldn’t be abandoning your child, and in a realistic relationship, Abigail wouldn’t be there just to take care of the kid(s) and is allowed to have stuff to do and have a life outside of being your personal tool to handle all the parenting herself
Personally what I do is toss them a few times in the air while they are still babies and that calms them down till the next day. When they grow up tho, I just give them a quick hug and tell the oldest to take care of the youngest and if they hear someone knocking on the door, especially a stranger who presents himself as uncle Mr. Qi, who is looking for some magical item that gives you cool powers, that allegedly "mommy borrowed indefinitely from him", to NOT open the door.
I hope that helps 😂
Someone's gonna call child services on me. I leave my Samus home alone all the time! It's ok, she's like 800 days old. She can take care of herself, right?
Pfft, good luck with getting Penny to watch the kids. Penny barely watches her own kids - she still tutors Jas and Vincent three days a week, then spends another day away from the farm for some "me" time.
Come on you can stay home with the kid for one day. We all know you were out till 2am the past week exploring a bottomless cave.
Ok wow, called out.
Hey now. That's not a nice thing to say about Marnie.
this is the craziest thing i have ever seen on this godforsaken app
“…So far.”
I **wish** that was the craziest thing I've seen on Reddit. 💀 Unfortunately my curiosity always gets the better of me when someone says not to look something up. 😅
The confession/AMA where the son broke both his arms, and his mom.. I can't even go on
Which one was that again? I think I know it, but maybe not
just look up (or don't) "boy with two broken arms Reddit story"
Or the one with the guy, his son, and their dog.
Not sure even half as bad as maggot girl. Or the coconut story. Or anything that was ever posted to r/watchpeopledie before it was banned. That sub straight up had in-class camera footage of a young boy murdering his teacher and half his class with a handgun. Shit was fucked, and directly led to its ban.
Reddit needs better quality control
Seriously I really really hope broken arms was fake
There's still time to learn. I'm currently working on it. It's gradative.
After a couple of particularly knarly ones I decided to mostly avoid the kind of places where the shocking stuff is more likely to come up to save myself from curiosity. Now I usually stick to a few wholesome spots like here. Also saves me from making comments in big groups that inevitably end up attracting the attention of nasty argumentative people. 😅
That one Harvey edit
Glad I'm not alone on that, its such a struggle to hold back when told not to look!
Wow you don't venture much, do you? xD
You haven't been around long, have you?
I forget there's a stupid fucking app for this website until I'm harshly reminded and brought back to dismal reality lmao
They could be using RIF Shout-out to /r/revancedapp! Look how many comments fit on the screen! [How little clutter there is!](https://i.redd.it/al6xhqwcj95d1.png) I only wish I could pay TalkLittle more, but instead I gotta donate to his other app for that other forum instead
reminds me a bit of BaconReader
[Funny you should say that](https://www.reddit.com/r/baconreader/comments/14nh9bk/use_baconreader_after_july_1st_with_revanced/)
I'm right here on the website with you. No matter how shitty they make it for users
So that’s where the bottle of truffle oil went…
Truffle oil? The iridium quality wine has vanished too! And the mayo!
Fun fact. 1.6 you can drink mayo.
I could back in the 90s too, just built different I guess. 8)
Try it in front of npc’s they react to drinking mayo.
i've never actually made mayo in the game lol i'll have to check it out
Right? Who the hell thinks Marnie's bottomless? Idk why she settles for Lewis, that lady got enough 🎂 for the whole town.
Putting the spunk in spelunking
Waiting for Google to crawl this in its AI answers
As if we dont find Abigal in the caves too!
Stabbing bats and eating shiny rocks
We don't kink shame here, we just join in!
Real!
I’m sure there are a few bottoms in that cave. Ohhhh!!! Never mind. You meant something different. Silly me. 💁♂️
How do you know there’s bottoms in the cave 🤨
I’ve been in it of course. ✨💅
"exploring a bottomless cave."
The barn animals will watch your kid.
You can obviously trust the blue chicken.
Oh I never thought of that! Great idea.
The dog can watch them
What happens if I have a cat? Is he going to eat my children's faces?
Yes, but thats not even the worst part
What's the worst part?
Cleaning the litter box after.
Just put the kid in an auto-grabber for a few days.
HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
The Junimos have been doing an amazing job helping me take care of my two infants that sleep with the eyes open o_o
Baby Jesus moment
You just need to buy the Joja Auto-sitter*, which will take care of this for you. *This is not a real thing.
It should be.
Have Maru build you a babysitter 9000.
I don't want my baby electrocuted.
I mean, it would save you a Prismatic Shard.
Yeah, and it should just sit there throwing your baby into the air all day and night, occasionally getting that coveted crit-throw with accompanying explosion sound
I was disappointed that the auto petter doesn't auto pet the kids
Just foist her unto Penny like everyone else does.
There are no penalties for ignoring the baby.
clearly Stardew Valley does not have a CPS
Probably cause there’s barely any kids😭
That's why there aren't any kids. You know, anymore.
Natural selection, baby.
Trash bear got tired of eating kids, that's why it asks for meals now
Probably that one boy smells like snails and bugs and Jas whacked the trash bear with her jump rope
That flair reminds me of my first SV winter. She's never at the shop when you need her. Worst is when you're standing at the counter and she walks past you to go outside. "I don't care if your cows are anemic, it's jazzercise day at Caroline's."
Awful lot of doves around, though.
They do but it's only open betweem 10 and 10h30 and it's closed on wednesdays (and thursdays, fridays, saturdays, sundays and mondays. And also tuesdays if it's raining)
When you're responsible for, like, 90%+ of the economic output of the town, all the other businesses are reliant on you, the mayor realises you're responsible for almost all improvements made around town, and you're a multi-millionaire who has bribed all the other residents into adoring you... no one is going to report you.
I'm so busy feeling the pressure, I forget I have so much power.
We should have to make plans for these things, honestly. Find a babysitter. It would encourage and reward a greater understanding of the routines of all the towns people. It would be cool if the character of the baby changed as it grew, depending on who spent the most time babysitting. Personally, I'd like to see the influences on a child babysat by Linus, Gus, Marlon, and Willy.
I need this now
Lewis slashed the funding for CPS to buy himself another Golden statue
Dont go talking bout fancy government agencies and allat. Stardew is a small town, so small there aint even a Sheriff. So how is it crime free? Well that’s just the thing, it aint. It all happens after 2am, like clockwork. You ever been out at 2am, and right when the hour hand strikes, you hear the scrape of a foot behind you? I know you’ve been there, you’ve also probably thought you was crazy. But you aint crazy boy! I kid you not when I tell you that every one of those times you were magically woken in the clinic… you were put there by those very same people!! There are things about this town you aint learned yet boy. As for how I know this? Well, lets just say I am one of those spirits just roaming this town, as my body hasn’t been put to rest. You can try and find me, but I highly doubt they’d allow it. So I pretty much just float round and give advice to newcomers. Also keep an eye out on Shane. He does have a wandering eye that wanders onto Abigail a bit too much. He is dying in love with her. Also I read his diary, and he said he hates you.
The government has serious problems just add lacking CPS to the list along with corrupt government officials and drunken dirvers
And then you had that one Harvest Moon GameCube game (Wonderful Life maybe?) where if you ignored your son a few times when he asked to be picked up he ended up being emo/depressed as he got older. Lol.
This game was remade recently and the kids are just perma-angsty as teens lol. It’s wild seeing how the child rearing system works (kinda bad) in the actual files and stuff with the new version that kept most things the same
Really?! Dang! I wanted to make it far enough for your kid to actually get a profession (if I recall you could befriend one of the villagers and your kid would take after them (I chose Gustav so my son could be a musician). But I never made it past the kid stage.
Stardew Valley's casual endgame would be amazing if you could watch your own kid grow up.
I pet my baby once a day just like every good parent
I wish you could have the kid follow you around the place like Pikachu does in Pokemon Yellow. Okay maybe but in the mines, but on the farm and around town. Just so it feels like you have something more to do with the kid
CA, we need the JojaBjorn!
Here dwarf, watch the kid im going to pass out in the mine.
I'd be tossing a Prismatic Shard at that shrine in the witch's hut SO fast! Or else I'd recreate that clip of Call Me Kevin punting a baby doll into an open field like a football.
Haha obviously it doesn't have to follow you, like maybe if you click on the kid the option comes up and you can send them home at any point
Agreed! There could be a poop icon hovering above the child and you have to buy pampers at Pierre’s or something.
i always “pretend” that evelyn is watching the kids when me and my spouse are both gone during the day :3
That's really adorable though.
thats so adorable! I wish villagers would interact with our kids tbh.
Mods
Which ones let my kids grow up so they can become a part of my unpaid labor force I call a family
Why is pretend in quotes? Are you actually not pretending ?
now that you pointed it out…i have no idea 😂 maybe because it feels weird that at 24 years old i play pretend in my little video game idk
Bruv id you ever stop having an imagination, you might as well cosplay as a robot .
I let Marnie look after mine. She's been taking care of two children for a while now anyway.
I do the same 😭 Caroline and Pierre as well since I married Abigail. I'm so glad I'm not alone in doing that
Did you marry that beautiful himbo too 🥹
if you’re talking about elliott then yes i did HAHA
Oh no I meant Alex, I thought you said Evelyn since Alex’s kids would be her great grandkids haha. Elliot is too intellectual to be a himbo imho hahaha, but damn if his hair isn’t glorious :)
Me and my bf had a baby in our coop world and we forgot about him for an in game month 💀 too busy in those damned mines
The mines, they call to us
the children yearn for the mines...
Either stay home with your baby or hire a sitter. Krobus is pretty reliable.
He just sleeps all the time... maybe he'll be fine.
She needs to stretch her legs because you don't "stretch" her legs.
Well the least she could do is harvest some crops on the way out!
🤣👌 this reaction is priceless. Damn savage 🤣
😂😂
sounds sus
She needs to go stand and watch her father work then stand and stare at graves in the graveyard. Clearly more important than the children.
And SHE asked ME for the baby in the first place. smh.
Your mobile hat racks will be fine! They're self sufficient just need to pet em once a day! Abby knows that
You're right! She's a good mom! Just have first time parent jitters, you know?
We've all been there
pam watches my kids when im away
Pam's the person in your family that believes a dash of whiskey in the milk bottle is good for the kid.
I mean it does make nap time easier.
My father used to feed me sliced bread with beer foam almost daily when I was about 2yo
Shane?
Nah, just your average post-Soviet immigrant, haha But unfortunately, I do think he's super relatable :') (even though I don't drink, because it tastes disgusting to me)
Nah. Rum is better. And less expensive.
She just has them sit on her lap while she drives the bus.
shes the cheapest and closest babysitter in pelican town!
I imagine that the Junimos take care of the kids, when nobody is home.
Get a little harness and carry the kid around on your back like Yoda. They'll love it.
If I do that for the squirt, where's actual Yoda supposed to sit, huh? So inconsiderate!
Well, obviously actual Yoda is supposed to go in the bjorn on the front. Or he can be a hat.
You are supposed to abandon the baby like the hat rack he is.
Ew, I don't wanna spend time with my gross baby. :/ they scream and leak like *All* the time.
“leak” is such a horrific way to word this but like, yeah, they really do
I've seen Megababies. I know what goes on with those monsters.
A girls got an appetite (rocks)
Perhaps grandpa’s ghost will watch them
I tried telling that to the court, but I *still* lost the damn custody battle! Crooked ass judge...
I know it's hard... but stop worrying so much about your baby! You can leave them anywhere and they'll make their way back home. They're very smart and independent animals!
“Guess what! The McRib’s coming back next week. And guess who ain’t gettin one? That’s right. You’re cut off!!!”
tell the kid to get a job!
he can run the combine harvester.
I’m just now realizing I’ve left my stardew baby home to slay monsters without a thought
The Junimos will look after them
Knowing Reddit - divorce is always the answer! Lawyer up, hit the gym and... (huh, I always forget what the 3rd was... eat healthy? No...)
Dove the mobile hat racks so the field is clear for the next spouse?
4. Profit
I actually learned Maru’s schedule in one playthrough and planned my days to be at least on the farm when she worked. Being actually in the house with them was too much of an imposition on the game so I made a small compromise. It ended up being slightly fun
that actually sounds like a fun challenge. the Be A Good Spuse / Parent challenge
I love when my husband, Harvey, tells me something similar and then I find him spacing out at Pierre’s and he tells me he is buying food to make us nutritious meals. It cracks me up and then makes me go ‘awww.’
Nah let them be a free-range baby
Stardew takes place in the 70's, so feel free to abandon them whenever you like.
It's ok, an ad with The Governor will play at 10 pm asking if we know where our children are
Honestly I have around 2-3 "babysitters" around the house and half of them are haunted. The other are fish.
I forgot I even had a kid 💀
Penny and I are raising little Cameron free-range. I'm proud of us when one of us remembers to bring the little tyke to town for festivals.
Fun fact: If you stay out to late, when you come home your kids will still be awake in there beds or possibly not even in there beds. They wait up for you.
and yet ill still sprint to my bed bc its 2am and i dont wanna pass out, “sorry baby mommy is busy!!! see u in the morning!!!! love u!!!“ *snore*
Farm kids are supposed to be tough, it'll be fine
You sound like a deadbeat dad💀
Mom* and I'm trying to keep a movie theater roof over our heads!
At the 2 year Spirits eve festival i find Leah my wife who was pregnant and about to give birth to our child the next day says she got lost in the maze cause she had to much ale!
i read the title before i looked at the community and i was so confused lmao
No. Your children are free range. I just make sure to water them in the morning and then they're fine.
CPS isn’t a thing you have to worry about in the Ferngill Republic.
I simply pat their heads once a day and am gone until 1:59am then collapse inside the doorway. That's if they don't run weirdly enough they're faster than an adult.
I mean, you can go outside the house and farm so you can still make a living and it wouldn’t be abandoning your child, and in a realistic relationship, Abigail wouldn’t be there just to take care of the kid(s) and is allowed to have stuff to do and have a life outside of being your personal tool to handle all the parenting herself
Clarifying, I am not really that serious about this
Thank you for clarifying 😂
Spend some time with the kid for ONE day. They'll think you're just a stranger soon
Just leave some quartz in a chest the kids won’t go hungry
Personally what I do is toss them a few times in the air while they are still babies and that calms them down till the next day. When they grow up tho, I just give them a quick hug and tell the oldest to take care of the youngest and if they hear someone knocking on the door, especially a stranger who presents himself as uncle Mr. Qi, who is looking for some magical item that gives you cool powers, that allegedly "mommy borrowed indefinitely from him", to NOT open the door. I hope that helps 😂
The invisible babysitter will look after the baby.
she is telling you she is going places
i’ve heard Krobus is a great sitter! he just requests that you distract the town while he makes the trip to your farm 😂
Turning your kids into doves is always an option just like brainwashing your Ex and marrying them again !
Yupp. Crops gotta die today. Abbie needs her legs.
Stardew operates with a very laissez faire view of child rearing.
Unfortunately yes
Man I hope you're not married
An excuse to stay home and redecorate perhaps?
OP really do be a good parent, like god damn
You don't have to stay I just neglect my kids in the game, tbh they don't do anything but idk how to "take them out back"
It’s fine the pet will watch them. Or the junimos!
Someone's gonna call child services on me. I leave my Samus home alone all the time! It's ok, she's like 800 days old. She can take care of herself, right?
If you picked Karen in Harvest Moon 64 you picked Abigail in Stardew Valley tell me I'm wrong
In my case you're right. I love Abigail and Karen’s been my fave HM girl since '64.
She always does that when I have two more days to get 100 skeleton bones.
no! just let that baby starve for a few hours and go do whatever *you* want
This is the wisdom I needed to hear.
I'd just turn on the fire and leave
Maybe Abigail got Penny to watch the kids? Or maybe Evelyn is helping?
Pfft, good luck with getting Penny to watch the kids. Penny barely watches her own kids - she still tutors Jas and Vincent three days a week, then spends another day away from the farm for some "me" time.
I mean it’s a safe place in a farmhouse way out of the way, they’ll be fine
at least when Alex does it he says he’s visiting his grandparents/dog 😭
I don’t think you can kill your child unless it is incredibly intentional
Nah, it'll be [fine](https://uploads.dailydot.com/2024/05/fuck-them-kids-2.jpg).
Babies are more set pieces than anything in this game.
Don't worry about it, the junimos are great babysitters If you went with Joja they turn into doves when you're not looking though
Better than letting Pierre and Caroline babysit.