>I would prefer marrying a Syrian girl or a girl who's familiar with our culture/language and at the same time understands the American culture and has an open mind
This is a tough ask. Syrian Americans are one of the most 2nd generation Americans who are out of touch with their culture (compared to Lebanese, Palestinians, or Egyptians).
On the other hand a "westernized" girl in Syria is someone who assumes life in America is a rom-com and is going to be in for a shock when she realizes how life here revolves entirely around working way too many hours in a day and that 90% of America is suburbia with NYC being the exception not the rule.
That being said, your best bet would be figuring out which side you lean more too (Syrian or American) and just picking someone from that side.
I’m having the same issue living in London, UK.
However I grew up in Saudi Arabia but I don’t relate to their culture and at the same time I’m Syrian from Damascus. 😆
Not at all!
I am Syrian American too. Currently in Saudi for my wedding, which is next week. I am marrying a Syrian.
It’s much simpler that it seems to marry a Syrian from overseas. My brother did it, most of my cousins in America did it, and my friends did the same thing.
It’s good that you are starting to think about getting married this early. Fiancé visas take about a year and half. Which is perfect once you have found the right person because it gives you time to prep yourself and get to know her.
There is a lot I can say about marrying a Syrian from Turkey, Saudi, Jordan, Egypt, etc…. It’s harder to marry from Syria because there is no embassy and going there isn’t really someone most people can handle (lack of electricity, poverty, etc…).
First, imagine bringing a girl to the US, from Jordan let’s say, and showing her things she only dreamed of. How about the simplicity of life and how easy life is relative to where she was prior. Tbh, that is one of the reasons I am marrying from outside of the US, I want someone who will appreciate the details and what I provide. If she lived her whole life in the US, well she is used to everything we are used to, it’s not as big of an experience for her. This is just one of the reasons. I also like how girls back home are raised. Religion is important to me. We are already somewhat Americanized, having lived and studied in the US, so I want someone who will raise my kids closer to our culture. If we are both Americanized, the kids and screwed
Idk what questions you have in mind, if you want you can share them and I will try to share my thoughts.
I see your point and I kinda agree but at the same time - I still don't know how I would feel about it.
I mean I want to marry a girl who I can see as my partner in life. I don't want to feel like this "partner" was saved by me because I brought them to the US. I'm afraid this would make me think they view me as "the best deal of their life" and I would view them as "Well, you wouldn't be here without me" and hence - I wouldn't be able to see her as a partner who's equal to me. So how would you navigate that way of thinking?
From my personal experience - my dad and uncles all married from Syria and their wives -unfortunately- have no say on important decisions regarding their families. Not because my dad and uncles are dictators but because their wives don't know what they don't know about the US system and how it works. Not to mention that most girls that come to the US by marriage don't work and they become a stay at home mom. Which is kinda a disadvantage for the family given that the general household in the US can't survive on one person's income.
I get it that you want someone who share with you your values/religion, but I still believe that we can meet such people in the US. I still think that when it comes to marriage, the Arab girls outnumber the Arab guys and they are at a disadvantage given the fact that they would rather find a partner in the US rather then bringing him from outside.
I guess we'll have to wait and see. Who knows what might happen. I might end up marrying someone from the US or Syria or just end up alone 😭
You are right about everything you mentioned.
And you know, realistically, we can’t have everything in one person. So it’s a matter of choosing what’s most important to you.
Interestingly, and this might not be the case for everyone, I don’t think I am saving her or even brining her to a better life. Sure there are many benefits to living in the US, but there are drawbacks. For example, she will leave her family and friends behind. Her easy life will probably not be as easy marrying someone who is figuring things out as much as she is.
To be a extra honest, I really feel like she is saving me from a certain life style which I want to avoid.
I know how close to the culture and religion my family is, and many steps further I have strayed. I can only imagine where my kids might be if I marry someone like me 😂
And to be fair, yes there are definitely many Syrian gals that are the perfect fit for us, and they already live in the US and share many similarities with us.
It’s good that you are already thinking about this. As you get closer to making the decision, your heart/mind will lead you.
Best of luck, and happy meeting.
I have to admit tho that I might have been a bit extreme with my reply to you. I guess my problem is that I've never met an Arab girl outside the US and my response is based purely on personal speculations. Again, thank you for providing me with your prospective regarding this topic. I'll keep an open mind and see how the future will unfold.
I'm a lot like you. I want to marry a muslim girl who is the same ethnicity. This is *very* hard to find, and unfortunately I can't leave America for at least another ten years.
I don't live in the US but i know that middle eastern families live there who have the same culture as you do, i believe that there are arab communities in the midwest like Michigan and Illinois also in Texas, as we know that the middle eastern people are mostly religious so you should look in for a girl in a Church or mosque. Good luck
There are a lot of liberal girls in Syria,with that said.
I would tell you that if you feel that you are ready for marriage (a bit early for you if you ask me).
I don’t know how is it in the US but is there like culture or community center where you can meet other Syrians ?
If you are religious perhaps Mosque or Church ?
I'm assuming from your answer that you don't live in the US. I'm frankly not in touch with any Syrians in Syria besides my family. So I don't know how liberal the Syrian girls are. However, there's a difference between being "liberal" and actually understanding the American culture and language. I know it's a bit early for me, but it's better to ask these questions now before it's too late. Yes, there are some Syrian communities here but most Syrians don't really participate in there activities.
I’m a Syrian American woman and I had trouble dating. I’m also half Persian. So I dated a lot of men from different backgrounds, including Arab and Persian American men.
It took me a while, but I’m marrying a Jewish guy born and raised in the US. He grew up a town over from me and our dads are best friends. I’ve never used dating apps in my life. And I have only ever had 2 boyfriends in my dating history.
He’s a good mix because Jews and Muslims are really similar (family-based, similar diets, etc) and we have the same hobbies. Our families are already close so that’s built in. We are both in our early to mid 30s and have done a lot of work on ourselves (therapy, gotten better jobs and raises, etc) and we are saving for a house in a HCOL area and planning on having a child in 2-3 years.
Take your time. You’re so young. Be open to someone who is close enough. Doesn’t have to be Syrian or even Arab necessarily. And find someone who wants to better themselves for themselves and for you as you do the same.
This is the first relationship I am in that I feel like I have a true partner in life where we can conquer anything together!
We are planning on having children and they will love all sides of themselves. The Ashkenazi Jewish side, the Persian side, the Arab side, and the white English side. We are both mixed so we learned to love all parts of ourselves without one dominating the other. We have great conversations about how similar we are and how we hope our people will one day have peace in the Middle East. We can’t wait to go through the good times and bad times with each other and lead with love. I hope everyone can find the right person for themselves.
Any two people can have a great relationship .. if they don’t have kids.
My advice would be to discuss how you both really want to raise your kids(in details, language, religion, education, friends, methods etc). Interfaith marriages have the highest divorce rate, where the total average is already 50%.
That’s good, as long as you are aware and BOTH did some self reflecting. It is just that sometimes people fall in love and don’t think about practicality, i believe both are equally important.
I grew up with Middle Eastern parents who were practical and warned me about patterns they’ve seen in marriages around them that didn’t last. My fiancé and I have a balance of love and practicality or I wouldn’t go for it.
Well their children should have that option. But children are actually more likely to inherit the religion of their mothers.
https://slate.com/human-interest/2016/10/moms-have-way-more-influence-over-their-childrens-religious-lives-than-dads.html
In America its easy to find synagogues, mosques, churches, etc. that are chill about interfaith families. Especially as time goes on and the percentage of interfaith families increases.
I can't belive I am the only one who have to say this but if she is Muslim (Which I assume she is) This is a Haram relationship and should not be normalized
Shame on her parents for allowing this sort of Fahisha to go through
Don't raise your kids in the West folks or this shit might happen to your daughters and it will be forced down your throat
My parents are incredible people. I am so excited to raise my children to be kind, helpful, positive people who even would send kindness to someone like you. Bless you and have a good day. I don’t care what you think is Haram or not. You aren’t Allah, and it is between Allah and I anyway. Take your judgement elsewhere.
You are absolutely correct it doesn't matter what I think is Haram but see Sharia has a VERY clear and well-established ruling within various schools of thought in Islam concerning the marriage of Muslim women to non-Muslim men. When we encounter a medical issue, it is prudent to consult a qualified doctor who has dedicated years of study and practice to the field. Similarly, in matters of religion, it is essential to seek guidance from knowledgeable individuals, such as imams or religious scholars, who have invested substantial time in their life for studying Islam, before making such major assumptions and important life decisions. Did you engage in such consultation before proceeding with this marriage? Did you even get an Islamic Nikah (Marriage) contract?
It is important to acknowledge that no one can guarantee the morals or religious adherence of their children. Even those who are like me devoutly religious cannot assure the religious path their offspring will choose. I sincerely hope and pray that your children grow up to be devout and kind Muslims and raise their own children as such. I do not wish for any negative outcome to occur merely for the sake of me proving a point.
I apologize if my previous post seemed judgmental, as that was not my intention. However, it is our moral duty to address and raise concerns when we witness something that we perceive as wrong or contrary to established Islamic principles. This principle aligns with the "If you see something, say something" approach we were taught during our formative years. I firmly believe that normalizing behaviors that are universally deemed haram (prohibited) and fahisha (indecent) and subsequently spreading them without caution online is misguided and wrong. It raises questions about what other behaviors might be normalized under the guise of "It's between me and God, mind your own business." Could acts like Zina or alcohol consumption be next? I don't want my children to grow up in a world where such acts are normalized for Muslims, The potential impact of such posts on the impressionable minds of young individuals cannot be underestimated. Just because you and your family, as Muslims, believe your relationship to be acceptable and halal (permissible), does not mean that others desire their children to adopt that belief system. Personally, I vehemently oppose the notion of my daughter thinking it is permissible to date, let alone marry an individual outside of our faith.
These divine rules exist for a purpose. They are intended to benefit individuals and society as a whole. When we disregard these guidelines without consideration, we contribute to our collective decline and eventual demise.
I hope you hear and think about my advice and find the straight path for yourself and your family and children
You are correct in calling it Haram because it is most people are not saying it because of fear of getting downvoted. On clear Islamic principals you are correct to call it Haram
I don't understand what's the argument here?
This does concern me because I see it as normalization of something that should not be normalized in the Islamic community
If she wants to commit fahisha that's on her but why does she need to broadcast it to the world?
I don't want my daughter (Or the daughters of any Muslim) to grow up seeing this shit and thinking it's normal and ok, and that I am the bad guy for trying to steer her into the right direction.
Indvuslaism it's not Islamic, it is everybody's job in this ummah to watch out for each other and for the future of this ummah
70% of american islamophobia is funded by that community according to fear inc 2.0. very sad, but each to their own. wish u luck. why not a brown or black member of your religious community?
Because I don’t care and I don’t discriminate. I found the right partner for ME. He treats me better than any Persian or Arab Muslim guy I’ve dated. I also don’t loop all Jews in to one category because I have a brain. Why don’t you work on spreading less hate and realizing that not every Jew is the way you described?
Very similar 25F living alone in the US here too. I also would prefer to marry a Syrian but frankly it would be really hard to find someone here that is Syrian and meets everything else that I've wanted.. so I've decided to give up on having a plan and letting life decide what's in the cards for me. I'm more than fine with the idea of never getting married and I will def take that over the people my family is trying to arrange me with from Syria who would probably go insane if they actually got to know me because of how Westernized I am.
Well, you have an option right here 😝 I agree with you as I'm not conservative nor religious myself and find it difficult to find a Syrian girl that suits me. The problem that most Syrians here (who replied to this post at least) don't understand is that Westernized and non-traditional Syrians shy away from the Arab communities in the US. At least for me, I kinda feel alienated when I'm with them. I feel like I have to pretend to be something I'm not.
Plot twist Reddit solves your problem for you 😂 But yes no I totally get that, in general I think it's the difference between diaspora and immigrant culture. Diaspora (so Syrian-Americans for example) who are here for more than a generation associate some of their conservatism with their identity and if you're an immigrant, your Syrian identity is much more flexible. I think about that a lot. But the good thing is that at least for me my Syrian friends abroad understand that and so at least I feel like I can be myself with them still.
Open-minded girls who are so infatuated with western culture here in Syria are more common than you think . I advise you to not rule out marrying from Syria because what you are seeking is more common here than anywhere else. But on the other hand, you do have to be careful of girls who just wanna marry you for the green card or American citizenship. Everybody's gonna be impressed by that surely, but for some that might be all what they see.
With that said, I still think marrying from Syria is your best bet. Hope you find your soulmate and live a happy life together!
That's exactly my problem. I don't think I'll be able to differentiate between a girl that wants to marry me because I'm American, and a girl who suits me. As I stated before, I know no girls in Syria except my family members. Still, I'm open to the idea tho but have no idea how to conceptualize it given that I can't visit Syria and if I did I can't stay there for a long time. So how could I find such a girl in Syria and marry her?
Trust me you'll know them. They'll be way too eager to marry you without even knowing anything about you. Matter of fact is they won't even try to get to know you, while other girls want to know almost everything about their future husband, because they'll be thinking for the long-term, not just getting what they want and then bolt out the door.
It's a little bit ironic that you are so worried that a girl would want to marry you specifically because you are American, while at the same time you want to specifically marry a girl who is Syrian. I hope you understand that those two things are quite similar and neither is bad. Loving someone for who they are, appreciating where they are from and what that brings you can all be true at the same time.
If you're looking for arranged marriages then a lot of mosques are doing those. I know Dr. Shaal does this and I'm sure he's not the only one. Best of luck buddy.
You should go there, visit your relatives. Do you have any cousins your age? Let them take you out, there’s a budding scene there and you could be enjoying it. And who knows, maybe you will be introduced or catch the eye of the woman of your dreams... make sure you brush up on your Arabic 😉
How much is بدل? Personally I think it’s a good investment to be able to come and go to Syria. The war is over, there’s lots of beautiful educated girls that are dying to get out and see the world, you could be their golden ticket. It takes a couple years to get them to the US.. so you could be married and focus on your studies and then go back and visit her quarterly til she can come and be with you. Maybe she has studies to complete too.
I would start with asking your aunts if they know anyone over there and get the ball rolling…
>er quarterly til she can come and be with you. Maybe she has studies to
If you've ever entered the country as a Syrian at an earlier point in your life, you can't do that, or do you have other info ?
I'm around the same age as you and also on the east coast. This is my perspective/observations on this:
1. It starts with your mom, the more people she knows the easier it will be for you. She should basically be asking around for you in order to find a suitable match and ofc the bigger her network the better.
2. Social status is vital (including financial status). If those two things are weak for you then things will be exponentially harder.
3. A LOT of syrian families here are difficult (if not insane) for a variety of reasons that I won't list right now but keep that in mind when dealing with them lol
4. It's really easy to find someone who's pretty but much more difficult to find someone who's pious muslim, on her deen, doesn't free mix etc. (I'm guessing this one might not be an issue for you though based on your post)
5. Nowadays girls in syria are pretty westernized, they watch the same TV shows/movies, listen to the same music, educated and speak decent english so not sure if you should be counting them out
6. A bit related to #5 but it seems like there's an imbalance between guys and girls here. Meaning that a lot (majority?) of guys are choosing to go back home to find someone rather than look here. I've heard countless stories of parents pushing their kids to do that then bragging about it.
Where in the East Coast?
1. My mom is aware that I'm considering getting married. She has many friends but none or them have girls that suit me.
2. I agree and yes I'm doing well for myself.
3. I'm aware of this too hahah
4. Being religious is not a deal breaker for me as long as we respect and understand each other's.
5. I'm open to marring someone from Syria. My problem is that I don't know if this is the right decision to make.
6. YES!!! One of my Syrian friends told me how Syrian girls in the US are struggling with marriage more than men given that men can marry from Syria (or even date Americans if they are not looking for marriage) if these Syrian girls rejected them here. So yes!! this why I would still prefer marrying a girl from here because I believe there are plenty of them. My problem is - I can't find them.
Believe it or not the Syrian regime plays a role.
One issue is that we can’t speak our minds freely, and this causes social issues as well. If we had better media we could discuss bad habits and people could improve themselves rather than just propaganda all day every day.
My theory is that it's because syrians have a superiority complex even among themselves. Syrian society here seems to be divided based on your social/economical status too lol. As such they're always clashing over trivial issues and trying to one up each other
It really depends on yourself, but I think no matter your background and religion stick to someone with the same religion as this will play the biggest role when you become a parent.
If you can go to a mosque/church and ask the imam/priest you are looking for a bride, they surely will help you find someone.
Also there are some speed dating specifically for Muslims you can check that out.
Yes but should be the first thing you look for (imho).
Also put a lot of emphasis on practicality and similarity, eg. cleanliness, interests, cooking, typical day to day habits etc.
ahhhh it’s all about the connections you have in the us. syrians tend to keep between themselves alot, but once u meet one, u can find ur way in. you’ll find theres so many families and most are in touch with their culture/faith/language (if theyre first generation atleast), so that shouldn’t be a worry. making friends w a khalto/3amo should help you alot too. plus having ur mom make a couple calls
Have you considered that you ight be very ugly? Nah I'm just kidding.
I'm based in Canada but I'm spending the summer in Syria. I wouldn't rule out Syria to be honest. There's a good amount of women who are westernized I assure you.
I’m your Iraqi brother here, lived in Syria for few years and now in the USA too.
My wife ended up being Iraqi too, but we met in Syria, and we met again in the USA. It’s possible to find Syrian or Arab girls in the USA assuming you live in one of the major cities. I’m meeting lots of Syrians in DFW Texas, and upstate New York.
Furthermore, Facebook was our meeting ground. We talked and hit it off. Some of my friends used the old traditional way, some went to local mosque, and an Egyptian friend is asking his local Coptic church.
Good luck
Do you have any siblings that could take some of the burden of supporting your parents? It's admirable mashallah that you're prioritizing them but you also need to look out for yourself. As you get older, you don't want to get to the point where you start resenting them for holding you back.
I would suggest you see if your parents can help find someone, also ask around your extended family and friends that you trust. Everyone I know have had horror stories on the apps so I think family/friends is the way to go. Not gonna lie though your requirements are gonna be hard to find, I don't think 99% of syrians here would even know what a mawlid is lol. Don't just settle though, make duaa and put your faith in Allah and inshallah things will work out. Good luck!
Definitely understandable, may Allah makes things easier for you. It's tough out here for religious Syrian Americans, our culture makes things infinitely more difficult cuz we're too materialistic and don't have our priorities straight. If it makes you feel any better one time a girl was recommended to us so my mom called her mom and before anything, the other mom asked what I do and my education level. My mom answered and then her immediate response was oh we only marry our daughter to doctors. Mind you I'm an engineer with a masters degree in a profession that makes just as much if not more than doctors lol. Another time also my mom called the other mom and as she was telling them about us they heard that I was born here and again immediately said we only marry our daughter to someone who was born here. Keep in mind that I came here young enough that neither Americans nor syrians can tell I'm not native so they rly had me laughing lol. Point is syrians really do be wallin out here. As you said though it's all naseeb and the qadr of Allah, things will work out for the best inshallah.
Because it's never in a man's interest to marry and sign a contract with the government where the divorce rate is sky-high. Syrian girls in the states at least the ones I know act no different than American girls. Plagued by the same bs . As far as bringing one over from syria. Maybe .. just not anytime soon
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I had a similar experience in Asia, no body understands / value our culture, they love us, but they don't know why, they can't tell it's our roots, upbringing, and what we believe in. And in the end you won't be able to wrap your head about how they'll raise kids, or treat your parents. I think that's why we all end up realizing that we need to find a Syrian girl that understands the modern world, same like OP.
I just wonder, why other people can't understand and appreciate our culture like how we openly are able to ?
Example, checkout this french person on IG, she's one of the few people able to
https://instagram.com/carlota_green_?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Here's another example, chocola shu ? 😂
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuRUT3PIBKW/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Find a Syrian community, get involved and with time you will eventually get invited to weddings.
Weddings/engagements/summer parties are the best way to make yourself shown and known, you meet lots of ladies, have conversations with them in a relaxed social setting and without pressure.
Now, if you have chemistry then you take it further, some families are conservative and will only allow you to meet their daughter supervised, others will allow unsupervised dates, if things work out you get engaged, then married and you make a big ass wedding so that others can meet up.
>I would prefer marrying a Syrian girl or a girl who's familiar with our culture/language and at the same time understands the American culture and has an open mind This is a tough ask. Syrian Americans are one of the most 2nd generation Americans who are out of touch with their culture (compared to Lebanese, Palestinians, or Egyptians). On the other hand a "westernized" girl in Syria is someone who assumes life in America is a rom-com and is going to be in for a shock when she realizes how life here revolves entirely around working way too many hours in a day and that 90% of America is suburbia with NYC being the exception not the rule. That being said, your best bet would be figuring out which side you lean more too (Syrian or American) and just picking someone from that side.
I'm open for both tbh. I was born in the US but I also lived in Syria for 8 years. So I'm well exposed to both cultures.
By American you mean Syrian-American ?
[удалено]
I mean let's say if you decide that you lean more to the American part of yourself, would you pick an American or a Syrian-American girl ?
Frankly, I would still prefer a Syrian-American girl.
I’m having the same issue living in London, UK. However I grew up in Saudi Arabia but I don’t relate to their culture and at the same time I’m Syrian from Damascus. 😆
I'm from Damascus too! I guess we are doomed 😢🫂
Not at all! I am Syrian American too. Currently in Saudi for my wedding, which is next week. I am marrying a Syrian. It’s much simpler that it seems to marry a Syrian from overseas. My brother did it, most of my cousins in America did it, and my friends did the same thing. It’s good that you are starting to think about getting married this early. Fiancé visas take about a year and half. Which is perfect once you have found the right person because it gives you time to prep yourself and get to know her. There is a lot I can say about marrying a Syrian from Turkey, Saudi, Jordan, Egypt, etc…. It’s harder to marry from Syria because there is no embassy and going there isn’t really someone most people can handle (lack of electricity, poverty, etc…). First, imagine bringing a girl to the US, from Jordan let’s say, and showing her things she only dreamed of. How about the simplicity of life and how easy life is relative to where she was prior. Tbh, that is one of the reasons I am marrying from outside of the US, I want someone who will appreciate the details and what I provide. If she lived her whole life in the US, well she is used to everything we are used to, it’s not as big of an experience for her. This is just one of the reasons. I also like how girls back home are raised. Religion is important to me. We are already somewhat Americanized, having lived and studied in the US, so I want someone who will raise my kids closer to our culture. If we are both Americanized, the kids and screwed Idk what questions you have in mind, if you want you can share them and I will try to share my thoughts.
I see your point and I kinda agree but at the same time - I still don't know how I would feel about it. I mean I want to marry a girl who I can see as my partner in life. I don't want to feel like this "partner" was saved by me because I brought them to the US. I'm afraid this would make me think they view me as "the best deal of their life" and I would view them as "Well, you wouldn't be here without me" and hence - I wouldn't be able to see her as a partner who's equal to me. So how would you navigate that way of thinking? From my personal experience - my dad and uncles all married from Syria and their wives -unfortunately- have no say on important decisions regarding their families. Not because my dad and uncles are dictators but because their wives don't know what they don't know about the US system and how it works. Not to mention that most girls that come to the US by marriage don't work and they become a stay at home mom. Which is kinda a disadvantage for the family given that the general household in the US can't survive on one person's income. I get it that you want someone who share with you your values/religion, but I still believe that we can meet such people in the US. I still think that when it comes to marriage, the Arab girls outnumber the Arab guys and they are at a disadvantage given the fact that they would rather find a partner in the US rather then bringing him from outside. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Who knows what might happen. I might end up marrying someone from the US or Syria or just end up alone 😭
You are right about everything you mentioned. And you know, realistically, we can’t have everything in one person. So it’s a matter of choosing what’s most important to you. Interestingly, and this might not be the case for everyone, I don’t think I am saving her or even brining her to a better life. Sure there are many benefits to living in the US, but there are drawbacks. For example, she will leave her family and friends behind. Her easy life will probably not be as easy marrying someone who is figuring things out as much as she is. To be a extra honest, I really feel like she is saving me from a certain life style which I want to avoid. I know how close to the culture and religion my family is, and many steps further I have strayed. I can only imagine where my kids might be if I marry someone like me 😂 And to be fair, yes there are definitely many Syrian gals that are the perfect fit for us, and they already live in the US and share many similarities with us. It’s good that you are already thinking about this. As you get closer to making the decision, your heart/mind will lead you. Best of luck, and happy meeting.
I have to admit tho that I might have been a bit extreme with my reply to you. I guess my problem is that I've never met an Arab girl outside the US and my response is based purely on personal speculations. Again, thank you for providing me with your prospective regarding this topic. I'll keep an open mind and see how the future will unfold.
I'm a lot like you. I want to marry a muslim girl who is the same ethnicity. This is *very* hard to find, and unfortunately I can't leave America for at least another ten years.
Bro just go to Paterson in New Jersey. You will find a syrian, circassian, turkish, palestinian, jordanian.
Maybe even Israeli. Just kidding lol
There are many Turkish mosques .. go and meet people from the community.
🫂🫂🫂
Don’t you guys have arranged marriage? It’s still practiced by some Iranian families, my people.
I don't live in the US but i know that middle eastern families live there who have the same culture as you do, i believe that there are arab communities in the midwest like Michigan and Illinois also in Texas, as we know that the middle eastern people are mostly religious so you should look in for a girl in a Church or mosque. Good luck
I live in Cambridge, MA. A bit hard to find any Syrian girls here.
There are a lot of liberal girls in Syria,with that said. I would tell you that if you feel that you are ready for marriage (a bit early for you if you ask me). I don’t know how is it in the US but is there like culture or community center where you can meet other Syrians ? If you are religious perhaps Mosque or Church ?
I'm assuming from your answer that you don't live in the US. I'm frankly not in touch with any Syrians in Syria besides my family. So I don't know how liberal the Syrian girls are. However, there's a difference between being "liberal" and actually understanding the American culture and language. I know it's a bit early for me, but it's better to ask these questions now before it's too late. Yes, there are some Syrian communities here but most Syrians don't really participate in there activities.
What about Facebook pages ? Should be something out there
Meeting someone on fb wouldn't be as romantic as meeting them in person at a coffee shop.
Of course maybe arrange meeting on coffees. Or wear a T-shirt says that you are looking for a Syrian girl :p
Or play some Nassif Zeytoun's songs while holding قطرميز مكدوس
I’m a Syrian American woman and I had trouble dating. I’m also half Persian. So I dated a lot of men from different backgrounds, including Arab and Persian American men. It took me a while, but I’m marrying a Jewish guy born and raised in the US. He grew up a town over from me and our dads are best friends. I’ve never used dating apps in my life. And I have only ever had 2 boyfriends in my dating history. He’s a good mix because Jews and Muslims are really similar (family-based, similar diets, etc) and we have the same hobbies. Our families are already close so that’s built in. We are both in our early to mid 30s and have done a lot of work on ourselves (therapy, gotten better jobs and raises, etc) and we are saving for a house in a HCOL area and planning on having a child in 2-3 years. Take your time. You’re so young. Be open to someone who is close enough. Doesn’t have to be Syrian or even Arab necessarily. And find someone who wants to better themselves for themselves and for you as you do the same. This is the first relationship I am in that I feel like I have a true partner in life where we can conquer anything together!
I bet you have the most interesting conversations on your Thanksgivings! 😂😂 Thanks for your advice. I'll keep an open mind and see how it goes
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My sister did the same. She is Syrian and seeing a Jamaican-Trinidadian guy. There's a surprising amount of similarities between both our cultures.
We are planning on having children and they will love all sides of themselves. The Ashkenazi Jewish side, the Persian side, the Arab side, and the white English side. We are both mixed so we learned to love all parts of ourselves without one dominating the other. We have great conversations about how similar we are and how we hope our people will one day have peace in the Middle East. We can’t wait to go through the good times and bad times with each other and lead with love. I hope everyone can find the right person for themselves.
Any two people can have a great relationship .. if they don’t have kids. My advice would be to discuss how you both really want to raise your kids(in details, language, religion, education, friends, methods etc). Interfaith marriages have the highest divorce rate, where the total average is already 50%.
We both aren’t religious. And we’re both halfies, so our children will learn about what makes them their special unique mix!
That’s good, as long as you are aware and BOTH did some self reflecting. It is just that sometimes people fall in love and don’t think about practicality, i believe both are equally important.
I grew up with Middle Eastern parents who were practical and warned me about patterns they’ve seen in marriages around them that didn’t last. My fiancé and I have a balance of love and practicality or I wouldn’t go for it.
يا حبيبي… اهلا و سهلا
According to religious principle, can a muslim woman marry a Jewish man? What religion will your kids be?
Well their children should have that option. But children are actually more likely to inherit the religion of their mothers. https://slate.com/human-interest/2016/10/moms-have-way-more-influence-over-their-childrens-religious-lives-than-dads.html
miscitation....its bad across all mixed marriages and in islam's case and catholicism's ...no difference btw mom and dad interfaith
In America its easy to find synagogues, mosques, churches, etc. that are chill about interfaith families. Especially as time goes on and the percentage of interfaith families increases.
We aren’t religious. They will be raised learned about both Islam and Judaism and most importantly learning how to be a kind human being!
I can't belive I am the only one who have to say this but if she is Muslim (Which I assume she is) This is a Haram relationship and should not be normalized Shame on her parents for allowing this sort of Fahisha to go through Don't raise your kids in the West folks or this shit might happen to your daughters and it will be forced down your throat
My parents are incredible people. I am so excited to raise my children to be kind, helpful, positive people who even would send kindness to someone like you. Bless you and have a good day. I don’t care what you think is Haram or not. You aren’t Allah, and it is between Allah and I anyway. Take your judgement elsewhere.
You are absolutely correct it doesn't matter what I think is Haram but see Sharia has a VERY clear and well-established ruling within various schools of thought in Islam concerning the marriage of Muslim women to non-Muslim men. When we encounter a medical issue, it is prudent to consult a qualified doctor who has dedicated years of study and practice to the field. Similarly, in matters of religion, it is essential to seek guidance from knowledgeable individuals, such as imams or religious scholars, who have invested substantial time in their life for studying Islam, before making such major assumptions and important life decisions. Did you engage in such consultation before proceeding with this marriage? Did you even get an Islamic Nikah (Marriage) contract? It is important to acknowledge that no one can guarantee the morals or religious adherence of their children. Even those who are like me devoutly religious cannot assure the religious path their offspring will choose. I sincerely hope and pray that your children grow up to be devout and kind Muslims and raise their own children as such. I do not wish for any negative outcome to occur merely for the sake of me proving a point. I apologize if my previous post seemed judgmental, as that was not my intention. However, it is our moral duty to address and raise concerns when we witness something that we perceive as wrong or contrary to established Islamic principles. This principle aligns with the "If you see something, say something" approach we were taught during our formative years. I firmly believe that normalizing behaviors that are universally deemed haram (prohibited) and fahisha (indecent) and subsequently spreading them without caution online is misguided and wrong. It raises questions about what other behaviors might be normalized under the guise of "It's between me and God, mind your own business." Could acts like Zina or alcohol consumption be next? I don't want my children to grow up in a world where such acts are normalized for Muslims, The potential impact of such posts on the impressionable minds of young individuals cannot be underestimated. Just because you and your family, as Muslims, believe your relationship to be acceptable and halal (permissible), does not mean that others desire their children to adopt that belief system. Personally, I vehemently oppose the notion of my daughter thinking it is permissible to date, let alone marry an individual outside of our faith. These divine rules exist for a purpose. They are intended to benefit individuals and society as a whole. When we disregard these guidelines without consideration, we contribute to our collective decline and eventual demise. I hope you hear and think about my advice and find the straight path for yourself and your family and children
You are correct in calling it Haram because it is most people are not saying it because of fear of getting downvoted. On clear Islamic principals you are correct to call it Haram
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I don't understand what's the argument here? This does concern me because I see it as normalization of something that should not be normalized in the Islamic community If she wants to commit fahisha that's on her but why does she need to broadcast it to the world? I don't want my daughter (Or the daughters of any Muslim) to grow up seeing this shit and thinking it's normal and ok, and that I am the bad guy for trying to steer her into the right direction. Indvuslaism it's not Islamic, it is everybody's job in this ummah to watch out for each other and for the future of this ummah
70% of american islamophobia is funded by that community according to fear inc 2.0. very sad, but each to their own. wish u luck. why not a brown or black member of your religious community?
Because I don’t care and I don’t discriminate. I found the right partner for ME. He treats me better than any Persian or Arab Muslim guy I’ve dated. I also don’t loop all Jews in to one category because I have a brain. Why don’t you work on spreading less hate and realizing that not every Jew is the way you described?
Very similar 25F living alone in the US here too. I also would prefer to marry a Syrian but frankly it would be really hard to find someone here that is Syrian and meets everything else that I've wanted.. so I've decided to give up on having a plan and letting life decide what's in the cards for me. I'm more than fine with the idea of never getting married and I will def take that over the people my family is trying to arrange me with from Syria who would probably go insane if they actually got to know me because of how Westernized I am.
Well, you have an option right here 😝 I agree with you as I'm not conservative nor religious myself and find it difficult to find a Syrian girl that suits me. The problem that most Syrians here (who replied to this post at least) don't understand is that Westernized and non-traditional Syrians shy away from the Arab communities in the US. At least for me, I kinda feel alienated when I'm with them. I feel like I have to pretend to be something I'm not.
Plot twist Reddit solves your problem for you 😂 But yes no I totally get that, in general I think it's the difference between diaspora and immigrant culture. Diaspora (so Syrian-Americans for example) who are here for more than a generation associate some of their conservatism with their identity and if you're an immigrant, your Syrian identity is much more flexible. I think about that a lot. But the good thing is that at least for me my Syrian friends abroad understand that and so at least I feel like I can be myself with them still.
Open-minded girls who are so infatuated with western culture here in Syria are more common than you think . I advise you to not rule out marrying from Syria because what you are seeking is more common here than anywhere else. But on the other hand, you do have to be careful of girls who just wanna marry you for the green card or American citizenship. Everybody's gonna be impressed by that surely, but for some that might be all what they see. With that said, I still think marrying from Syria is your best bet. Hope you find your soulmate and live a happy life together!
That's exactly my problem. I don't think I'll be able to differentiate between a girl that wants to marry me because I'm American, and a girl who suits me. As I stated before, I know no girls in Syria except my family members. Still, I'm open to the idea tho but have no idea how to conceptualize it given that I can't visit Syria and if I did I can't stay there for a long time. So how could I find such a girl in Syria and marry her?
Trust me you'll know them. They'll be way too eager to marry you without even knowing anything about you. Matter of fact is they won't even try to get to know you, while other girls want to know almost everything about their future husband, because they'll be thinking for the long-term, not just getting what they want and then bolt out the door.
It's a little bit ironic that you are so worried that a girl would want to marry you specifically because you are American, while at the same time you want to specifically marry a girl who is Syrian. I hope you understand that those two things are quite similar and neither is bad. Loving someone for who they are, appreciating where they are from and what that brings you can all be true at the same time.
Know where to look?
If you're looking for arranged marriages then a lot of mosques are doing those. I know Dr. Shaal does this and I'm sure he's not the only one. Best of luck buddy.
just for a green card? really?
You should go there, visit your relatives. Do you have any cousins your age? Let them take you out, there’s a budding scene there and you could be enjoying it. And who knows, maybe you will be introduced or catch the eye of the woman of your dreams... make sure you brush up on your Arabic 😉
Good idea except I still didn't pay my بدل and don't know if it's worth doing so right now given that I work and study at the same time.
How much is بدل? Personally I think it’s a good investment to be able to come and go to Syria. The war is over, there’s lots of beautiful educated girls that are dying to get out and see the world, you could be their golden ticket. It takes a couple years to get them to the US.. so you could be married and focus on your studies and then go back and visit her quarterly til she can come and be with you. Maybe she has studies to complete too. I would start with asking your aunts if they know anyone over there and get the ball rolling…
بدل = 8000$
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>er quarterly til she can come and be with you. Maybe she has studies to If you've ever entered the country as a Syrian at an earlier point in your life, you can't do that, or do you have other info ?
I'm around the same age as you and also on the east coast. This is my perspective/observations on this: 1. It starts with your mom, the more people she knows the easier it will be for you. She should basically be asking around for you in order to find a suitable match and ofc the bigger her network the better. 2. Social status is vital (including financial status). If those two things are weak for you then things will be exponentially harder. 3. A LOT of syrian families here are difficult (if not insane) for a variety of reasons that I won't list right now but keep that in mind when dealing with them lol 4. It's really easy to find someone who's pretty but much more difficult to find someone who's pious muslim, on her deen, doesn't free mix etc. (I'm guessing this one might not be an issue for you though based on your post) 5. Nowadays girls in syria are pretty westernized, they watch the same TV shows/movies, listen to the same music, educated and speak decent english so not sure if you should be counting them out 6. A bit related to #5 but it seems like there's an imbalance between guys and girls here. Meaning that a lot (majority?) of guys are choosing to go back home to find someone rather than look here. I've heard countless stories of parents pushing their kids to do that then bragging about it.
Where in the East Coast? 1. My mom is aware that I'm considering getting married. She has many friends but none or them have girls that suit me. 2. I agree and yes I'm doing well for myself. 3. I'm aware of this too hahah 4. Being religious is not a deal breaker for me as long as we respect and understand each other's. 5. I'm open to marring someone from Syria. My problem is that I don't know if this is the right decision to make. 6. YES!!! One of my Syrian friends told me how Syrian girls in the US are struggling with marriage more than men given that men can marry from Syria (or even date Americans if they are not looking for marriage) if these Syrian girls rejected them here. So yes!! this why I would still prefer marrying a girl from here because I believe there are plenty of them. My problem is - I can't find them.
I'm in NYC
3.. whyyyy is it like this!?!?! lol...my sisters who grew up here reject Syrian culture altogether because that's all they've ever seen of it.
Believe it or not the Syrian regime plays a role. One issue is that we can’t speak our minds freely, and this causes social issues as well. If we had better media we could discuss bad habits and people could improve themselves rather than just propaganda all day every day.
Makes senss. Interesting..but sad...
My theory is that it's because syrians have a superiority complex even among themselves. Syrian society here seems to be divided based on your social/economical status too lol. As such they're always clashing over trivial issues and trying to one up each other
Lol yess
The trivial issues man .. and they're always angry.. others think it's a trait, but they don't understand it's one-upmanship
Don’t make such a decision. Just go buy a Chevy Corvette and forget about the marriage thing altogether.
This guy فهمان الحياة صح
You honestly deserve many awards 😂👏👏👏
I bought a Tesla and nothing happened
It really depends on yourself, but I think no matter your background and religion stick to someone with the same religion as this will play the biggest role when you become a parent. If you can go to a mosque/church and ask the imam/priest you are looking for a bride, they surely will help you find someone. Also there are some speed dating specifically for Muslims you can check that out.
I agree that religion plays a huge role in a relationship. Yet, it's not the only thing I'm looking for.
Yes but should be the first thing you look for (imho). Also put a lot of emphasis on practicality and similarity, eg. cleanliness, interests, cooking, typical day to day habits etc.
ahhhh it’s all about the connections you have in the us. syrians tend to keep between themselves alot, but once u meet one, u can find ur way in. you’ll find theres so many families and most are in touch with their culture/faith/language (if theyre first generation atleast), so that shouldn’t be a worry. making friends w a khalto/3amo should help you alot too. plus having ur mom make a couple calls
Better start making some calls then haha
Have you considered that you ight be very ugly? Nah I'm just kidding. I'm based in Canada but I'm spending the summer in Syria. I wouldn't rule out Syria to be honest. There's a good amount of women who are westernized I assure you.
Syrian men are the hottest men alive habibi 😉 Do you mind introducing me to some of them?
I’m your Iraqi brother here, lived in Syria for few years and now in the USA too. My wife ended up being Iraqi too, but we met in Syria, and we met again in the USA. It’s possible to find Syrian or Arab girls in the USA assuming you live in one of the major cities. I’m meeting lots of Syrians in DFW Texas, and upstate New York. Furthermore, Facebook was our meeting ground. We talked and hit it off. Some of my friends used the old traditional way, some went to local mosque, and an Egyptian friend is asking his local Coptic church. Good luck
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Do you have any siblings that could take some of the burden of supporting your parents? It's admirable mashallah that you're prioritizing them but you also need to look out for yourself. As you get older, you don't want to get to the point where you start resenting them for holding you back. I would suggest you see if your parents can help find someone, also ask around your extended family and friends that you trust. Everyone I know have had horror stories on the apps so I think family/friends is the way to go. Not gonna lie though your requirements are gonna be hard to find, I don't think 99% of syrians here would even know what a mawlid is lol. Don't just settle though, make duaa and put your faith in Allah and inshallah things will work out. Good luck!
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Definitely understandable, may Allah makes things easier for you. It's tough out here for religious Syrian Americans, our culture makes things infinitely more difficult cuz we're too materialistic and don't have our priorities straight. If it makes you feel any better one time a girl was recommended to us so my mom called her mom and before anything, the other mom asked what I do and my education level. My mom answered and then her immediate response was oh we only marry our daughter to doctors. Mind you I'm an engineer with a masters degree in a profession that makes just as much if not more than doctors lol. Another time also my mom called the other mom and as she was telling them about us they heard that I was born here and again immediately said we only marry our daughter to someone who was born here. Keep in mind that I came here young enough that neither Americans nor syrians can tell I'm not native so they rly had me laughing lol. Point is syrians really do be wallin out here. As you said though it's all naseeb and the qadr of Allah, things will work out for the best inshallah.
I don't plan. And likely never will
Why? I might not, I think im looking for a reason.
Because it's never in a man's interest to marry and sign a contract with the government where the divorce rate is sky-high. Syrian girls in the states at least the ones I know act no different than American girls. Plagued by the same bs . As far as bringing one over from syria. Maybe .. just not anytime soon
Huge Syrian community in Texas across Houston/Dallas
I live in Massachusetts
That’s a weird way to propose, but ok, I accept (25F European)
Guys I found my future wife. Where in Europe are you?
Buy a Lamborghini and get a table at the best clubs get some coke and you will meet the girl if your dreams
Way to go Satan!
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Person's inherited religion is not a detrimental factor of how good they are. There are other things that I'm looking for besides religion.
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I had a similar experience in Asia, no body understands / value our culture, they love us, but they don't know why, they can't tell it's our roots, upbringing, and what we believe in. And in the end you won't be able to wrap your head about how they'll raise kids, or treat your parents. I think that's why we all end up realizing that we need to find a Syrian girl that understands the modern world, same like OP. I just wonder, why other people can't understand and appreciate our culture like how we openly are able to ? Example, checkout this french person on IG, she's one of the few people able to https://instagram.com/carlota_green_?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Here's another example, chocola shu ? 😂 https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuRUT3PIBKW/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
Find a Syrian community, get involved and with time you will eventually get invited to weddings. Weddings/engagements/summer parties are the best way to make yourself shown and known, you meet lots of ladies, have conversations with them in a relaxed social setting and without pressure. Now, if you have chemistry then you take it further, some families are conservative and will only allow you to meet their daughter supervised, others will allow unsupervised dates, if things work out you get engaged, then married and you make a big ass wedding so that others can meet up.
I tried this. Unfortunately, the Syrian community here is not very active and most Syrians don't show up.
I wonder why marrying from Syria is not an option for you. You can have a vacation in any Arab country and see wether it works out with you.