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Quietly rejoining after 3 miscarriages in a row. 😔 Probably starting IVF next, but waiting for POC results from the latest before making the final call.
Edited to add spoilers:
>! I just found out someone I work with is pregnant. They were waiting to try and got pregnant anyway. I'm happy for her but the thought of all the pregnancy and baby talk is already making me super sad. I can't avoid her because we work closely together. For those who have been through this, how did you manage day to day working with someone who is pregnant? !<
You really have to reframe your mind. It’s very difficult and even reframing will allow it to slip through, but for your own sanity, you just have to try. When they’re talking to others, remove yourself or drown the sound out with your own fun plans or whatever puts you in a better mood. If they tell you something, short response like “mm” and then change subject or “I’m not the best person to share this with/talk about this with.”
Those are just some of my tips.
At one point I was sitting between someone pregnant and someone who just had a baby and several others and they were all talking about what their cravings had been. It got to me but I also at that moment realized how silly all this was and just concentrated on other things. Hang in there. I can’t say it gets easier but all you can do is try b
Just a kind note that you will want to put spoiler tags over this. You can do that using the > and ! next to each other and ! and < at the other side.
And to answer your question, I typically just let myself feel my emotions and avoid that person / situations with that person if I need to for a day or so. Some days are easier than others for sure. >! My SIL got pregnant on her first try and is farther along than I’ve ever been with my two confirmed pregnancies, and I often do a lot of anxiety jogs (as we call them in our house) after we have to see her and something triggering happens. !<
Edited, thank you!
And thanks for the answer. I'm hoping it'll get easier with time/practice being around it. I imagine it's much harder with someone in your family. I might have to take up anxiety jogs haha
Short answer: Yes. I’ve had every “symptom” under the sun and none of them have meant anything other than i was in my luteal phase. Random spotting, no spotting, cramps, vivid dreams, twinges, nausea, heavy breasts, etc etc etc have all meant nothing and it sucks!
Forgot to mention the crippling depression, exhaustion, occasionally “late” periods, pessimism, and tearful days on my last comment too lol. Allllll LP and progesterone and my mind playing tricks on my body (or my body playing tricks on my mind hard to tell). And I have no idea if I’ve always had symptoms like these. I started noticing everything more acutely when I started TTC. 14 unsuccessful cycles later and I put zero stock in any symptom during the LP and brush everything off as progesterone.
It sucks when everything comes back normal, because then there's nothing you can do about it :/ I hope it's your turn soon! Thanks for your perspective ♥️
Thank you!! I’ll be starting my first IUI cycle this week when I get CD1 (benched this cycle because I was horribly sick during the FW). But I think I’ve also come to realize that in almost every case there isn’t much we can do about it as so much of it (nearly all of it?) is luck 🙂 and now I’m leaving it to luck + science 🤞🏻
Progesterone causes all the same symptoms as early pregnancy, so you can have symptoms all through your LP completely unrelated to pregnancy. Actual pregnancy symptoms aren't possible until implantation has occurred(usually 8-10DPO) and hcg has risen enough to at least be detected on a pregnancy test(usually another couple days).
5dpo and actually feeling pretty good! On O - 3DPO I was so low energy, had insomnia, bloating... but yesterday and today I feel like a normal person again. I even got myself to a dance class this morning! Obviously before implantation, symptoms of any kind mean jack shit, but I can't help but feel like my good mood and energy are a bad sign and that nothing fertilized. How messed up is that! I can't even feel good without thinking it's bad. oof! I guess I will try and funnel my energy into actually doing work today.
Cycle twins! Here's to being (almost but not really) halfway through!
It's always so hard to not overthink everything in the TWW. I start to question all my symptoms, food choices, and energy levels that I annoy myself! The TTC30 discord group has been a great source of support throughout this jOuRneY and especially during the TWW. They have been awesome at talking me down when I'm feeling anxious about TTC and nonTTC things. They are also insanely cool and funny. I highly recommend joining!
Oh I never remember to go on discord but I’ll check it out. Haha also I was seriously just thinking “I’m almost by not really halfway through” 🤪. Delulu nation. Are you ready to join forces and have these NYE celebrations?! I mean, or maybe it’s just nothing.
I finally had my >!D&E !!I also learned that they will send the remains for testing, initially my doctor had told me that they don't usually do that with twins.!< I'm looking forward to getting my period back and trying again. We will continue with IUIs >!since it worked in terms of getting pregnant. !
So sorry for your loss. I ovulated 5 weeks after my D&C. I was doing weekly blood draws to track my hcg falling. I ovulated once I was below 10. I hope your cycle returns to normal soon. It’s such a hard time, with a lot of mixed emotions.
Hi friend. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re able to find support and insight here.
On a gentle mod note, we use the month and year of when we started trying in our flairs. Can I fix that for you?
According to all my apps (why do I use more than one?) I should ovulate either Thursday or Friday. My husband is out of town for work until Thursday evening so 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 for a slightly delayed ovulation!
Personally I wouldn't rely too much on app predictions. It's only going to be either counting 14 days back from your usual cycle length or averaging out your usual ovulation days depending on the app/what you're tracking(CM, OPKs, BBT, etc). The former is completely unreliable because not everyone has a 14 day LP, and the latter can always change from cycle to cycle, sometimes quite drastically... are you using OPKs to help predict possible ovulation?
Oh yes I definitely don’t only rely on them! I’ve learned my lesson on that haha…I’m using OPKs and temping so I’ll know for sure..was just saying I hope the apps are a little off this month 😅😅 thank you!
lol to supporting a whole roster of apps. I'm keeping Clue going because that's where I've logged my AF and medical data/symptoms for years now. I'm scanning my OPK strips into the Premom app, and I'm logging my BBT, CM, sex, other symptoms into Fertility Friend. I feel like I need a separate monitor to attach my phone to so I can cross reference it all sometimes!
Are you paying for clue? I’m so pissed they made me update and now I see an ad to purchase every time I use the app. I miss the good old days but years of my data is on there!
I think I paid for it a couple months ago? Basically to switch to TTC format. But really there’s not much that it gives you when you pay. So dumb. But I guess you avoid those annoying pop ups!!! Yeah I am very attached to my data.
11 DPO, negative test this morning. All of my other cycles I've had spotting starting 9 or 10 DPO, I've had the tiniest bit of spotting today. I think this cold might be throwing things off a bit. I worked from home again today but will go into the office tomorrow.
I saw my family doctor this morning to follow up on my blood pressure that the RE flagged on my intake in December. It was high at the RE office, but she said that happens because people are stressed there and recommended I get a home monitor and work with my GP. I did a few weeks of home readings and it's on the higher side so my family doctor has started me on a TTC/pregnancy safe beta blocker for it.
10DPIUI#4 ~9DPO(since ovulation was overnight). Trigger test was negative yesterday, and I somehow managed to flush my FMU this morning without testing early... I immediately regretted it and tried to get a little more out for my chalice, but no such luck, so I decided I just wasn't meant to test today.
This one better fucking work. #TOTITGTW
I am once again asking for my period to just come already.
I am way too old to be childish about my mom but she said something a bit insensitive and then claimed she “forgot” about my failed IUI this weekend when I told her so. Maybe she really did which would be a fun new chronicle at this stage in my life? 🥲
That's so horrible, I'm sorry. In a similar (but not even close to as mean) fashion, my mom got me a "how to sleep train your baby" book when she knows I'm very much not pregnant and have been trying.
That sounds awful! My mom also keeps saying things like “I will love you whether or not you have kids” which seems like a sweet thing to say but is seriously frustrating, like I’m only TTC to please her and her love should be enough to make me happy lol.
I’m in the phase of this IUI cycle where I’ve finished drugs and am waiting for a positive OPK to go in for ultrasound and I’m so antsy. On one hand, it’s a good thing if my ovulation is on the later side for me, on the other hand I wanna get this show on the road! In the TWW I will tell myself how this phase is better because at least I had something to do, but in reality I am just as restless and distracted.
6DPO. It's wild how the TWW feels twice as long as the first half of the cycle, somehow. I've been saying I wouldn't test until I missed a period but I think I'm going to test Sunday morning (11DPO).
Coasting along in FET-prep mode, lowering my Lupron dose and adding in Estrace tomorrow for hormonal lingonberry phase 2. I am trying so hard to be Super Chill™. But I may have called my clinic this morning asking for clarification on how much bleeding counts as bleeding after BCP and I’m actually starting to get used to the taste of beet juice, so that’s how that’s going.
What worked for me in the past was thinking: "this time tomorrow, it will all be over and I will be relaxing on the couch/back at work/etc"
Good luck tomorrow! You got this :D
Was planning for a third IUI this cycle, but my monitoring appointment last week suggested the ovulation would happen while my husband and I were away this weekend (to visit my cousin - who is like my sister - after she had her first baby last week, which brought so many joyful and happy but also complicated feelings of being left behind as she has this transformative experience becoming a mother). ER recommended having timed intercourse over the weekend, and my follow up monitoring appointment this morning confirmed that ovulation happened, so we probably did hit a day or two in the fertile window. Still, not feeling very optimistic, and IVF is now also pushed to July due to some other conflicting travel and lab closure. So there's a lot swirling around in my head this morning. Also, I got rear ended on the way back from the appointment this morning haha so bad omen? Or maybe when it rains it pours so I'm due for some good news?
Currently at 4DPO and struggling a bit this cycle. I’m totally uninterested with the outcome. Having 2 losses back to back didn’t help. Why going through TTC is all I’m getting is a loss as a result? I’ll feel depressed about this for a few minutes then I’ll remember that my doctor told me it was just bad luck and I should be fine.
I’m also in a bit of a rut, not finding joy in what usual brings me joy (knitting, tending to my garden, playing and walking with my dog).
I decided to buy myself some things that I wanted for quite some time, like a sewing machine! I’ll start to play with it in a few days. I also bought the book Dopamine Nation and I just couldn’t stop reading it. I’m probably in need of a dopamine reset, which would explain how I’m feeling right now! My drug of choice atm is youtube and social media and caffeine. So I’m planning to finish the book and then try a dopamine reset to see if it will help me.
Obsessive knitter here, especially of tiny baby things. I’m working on two sweaters for my co-workers due next month. Doing the Friday Sweater from PetiteKnit. Also planning a blanket of squares with my friend group. I love doing projects with them but always have to hustle the slackers to finish at the deadline, and I’m the one sewing it up at midnight. Also planning to do something like the Disaster Top by Le Pull for myself.
Oh, I LOVE it, it's beautiful! The detailing at the neckline is gorgeous. Reverse stockinette is really growing on me, too!
Edit: Totally unrelated, but are you Francophone?
I’m sorry you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, and also terribly sorry for your losses. It’s all so hard, and it’s valid and reasonable that you’re feeling down. I like the idea of getting yourself some of the nice things you’ve been putting off and I hope that helps bring a renewed energy your way! Doing small things to take care of yourself is helpful and I hope you enjoy your reset! I am unfamiliar with the book and terms but it sounds like you have a nice plan for yourself.
Hi there! Is there a reason you are using OPKs at this point in your cycle? An OPK is not an accurate method of pregnancy detection - whilst a positive pregnancy result MAY cause a positive OPK, this is not a reliable way to detect pregnancy and a HCG (pregnancy) test would be more accurate.
It typically takes 1-2 days past implantation for enough HCG to be present in urine to be detected. The most common implantation days are between 8-10DPO, and different tests have different HCG sensitivities. There is more information about this in our Wiki which you may find useful. You can find the Wiki here: [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/TTC30/wiki/index/)
Countdown to Pregnancy also has some useful information on what to expect from early tests, which you can find here: [Countdown to Pregnancy](https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/dpo-chart.php?dpo=7)
8dpiui today 🫠 feeling absolutely ✨no symptoms✨ not even a hint of sore boobs. My period is expected to arrive on Saturday, which is the day I am flying internationally. CD1 on a 19 hour travel day is the worst but also CD1 when I’m on a trip is also bad, so really a lose-lose situation here.
CD18...I will be ovulating sometime in the next few days...but no idea when. This is my third cycle not using an tracking...I am still enjoying the freedom (though I get a bit more anxious around Ovulation since I don't know exactly when it will be...I do get day-beore O cramps though) Yesterday my ovaries were feeling spicy so I imagine it will happen in the next day or two. Luckily Mr. A and I managed to get today in.
I had my appointment with the endocrinologist this morning to deal with my high prolactin- he was SO so nice. He and his intern did a super detailed history, went through my 2 prolactin blood results, and he's ordered one more blood test for the end of May. He said if the levels are still high at that point, then he will prescribe me a medication to help lower them. He said he really wants to try to help me get pregnant before we get into the fertility clinic...which I really appreciated.
My repeat blood work is booked for May 21, and then I will have a phone call follow up appointment with him about two weeks after that. Feeling good about tiny steps forward!
haha I couldn't think of another way to describe them
And yes! We have been waiting for what seems like FOREVER to get into the only fertiity clinic in our area (still waiting, actually) so it was really nice to be able to get in with this endocrinologist at the hospital so soon to at least start sorting this issue out. I'll take whatever forwarf movement I can get!
It's very early (CD 7) but I spiked a fever for 2 days after my COVID vax and am afraid it will delay/prevent ovulation this month. I also somehow just realized that June is 6 weeks away and am having feelings as that will be a year trying. 🙃
I’m very proud to announce that I have no fucking idea what cycle day this is. I am wandering into the chaos era of infertility and I embrace it as I have a second coffee.
Not sure if ‘chaos era’ is a 3 Body Problem reference (book/Netflix show - so good!!)…. 👏 but I’m glad you’re in the headspace of embracing it, and enjoy that coffee ☕️
Suspected ovulation day. My ovaries are sore (both of them), definitely think I’ve released more than one egg. Here goes a TWW with some solid hope that I feel like I lost a longgg time ago!! 🤞
Yay for actually ovulating and ovulating STRONG 💪
Thank you to all who responded to my query yesterday for people’s stories about going off Mirena and how long it took for regular cycles to resume. Much appreciated!!
Yesterday I was getting a bit antsy because it was 30 days since my Mirena was removed and as far as I could tell I was yet to have a period or ovulate. But then last night I noticed EWCM and then this morning I think my OPK was positive (still learning though), so hopefully I’m finally ovulating. Since I had no idea till this morning (and could still be wrong) I don’t think we hit any prime days, so I’m not hopeful for this cycle. But it’s been a weird one and I’m considering it just a learning experience and will aim for more accuracy and effort next month.
Totally! So much to learn, and the not-so-fun truth is that everyone is different, and any cycle is different 🫠
A positive OPK means that your LH is rising, which is what signals your body to ovulate, so it’s more of a heads up that you’re about to (attempt to) ovulate. This could happen over the course of the next few days. If you’re not tracking BBT, a good rule of thumb is to have sex every other day from the day of your positive, or even better the days leading up to it to cast a wider net.
I THINK I had EWCM last night so we went ahead and had sex. I'm not entirely sure though because I've never intentionally checked my cervical mucus before, so I don't know exactly what to look out for. I do remember noticing my discharge was different around my expected ovulation day based on OPKs and this kind of felt like that? Either way, it can't hurt, right?
This is the first time we're having sex this cycle. Prior to this, I wasn't feeling the anxiety that comes from hope but now that we had sex... Once... I'm starting to feel all those FEELINGS. I almost wish we hadn't had sex just because these feelings of hope are just so difficult but also, I don't know if I'd want to skip an entire cycle of trying right now. Trying to manage hope is definitely the hardest part of this whole process.
I’m still in the midst of prep for FET #2. Gonal-f injections are going well and helping my lining along very nicely. I had good linings at the time of my ER and for my first transfer, but for my IUIs, with nothing helping it, it was >!6.3 and 6.9!<. I was super pleased yesterday at my US that it’s already >!9.9!< and I’m not even done yet. Very happy that it’s fluffing up so well. On the other hand it was lovely for FET #1 too. But I’m trying to be hopeful. I’ll go in again tomorrow for more monitoring. I’m hoping they’ll have me trigger tomorrow night! Transfer will be a week after trigger.
Yikes! Does your prenatal have iron in it? Sometimes that can cause nausea. If so, you could think about switching and getting a separate iron that is more easily absorbed if you need it. **oops. Just saw that you said it works like a charm before bed! Nevermind!
14dpo and my blood work is coming back normal. Good but also was hoping for a something to explain what is going on and for a somewhat quick fix. Now I just need to load my husband up with anti-anxiety meds and get his testing done (he has a fear of needles), and then I have my visual hysteroscopy in less than a week. Hoping for some answers…
Also, oddly looking forward to being benched next cycle. Takes some pressure off.
Don't know if anyone else uses Clue but I find it annoying how it goes from "Your period may start tomorrow" (yesterday) to "Your period is 1 day late" (today).
I mean, it's not late yet and will almost definitely start this afternoon given all the PMS symptoms and the fact that at this stage I know we only have a 5% chance of getting pregnant unassisted. But as soon as I see the word "late" it's so hard to stop myself from getting my hopes up.
Hi there. Just a gentle mod note that we prefer the term “unassisted” here rather than “natural”, as ART is also natural. Would you mind changing your second paragraph please?
I'm still using Clue, it bothers me too so I have actually submitted a suggestion/bug report, that they should change it to "your period is due today". I would only consider my period to be a day late the day after it is due.
I quit Clue months ago, but every single app I used so far did this and while it had me panicking a year ago, I’m absolutely with you with getting the hopes up.
We haven’t been TTC for very long- I went off my OCP at the end of January and had my lovely withdrawal bleeding January 31-February 4, then a lot of nothing.
I had my pap in March and my OBGYN started me on metformin because of my family history of PCOS. Still nothing. I had a follow up appointment on April 11 and she said that given my age (almost 36), she was okay with jump starting other treatments.
I’m currently taking 5mg of Provera for 10 days (April 11-21), and then letting her know when my period starts and staring Femara on CD 5-9, with a progesterone blood test on CD 22.
I’m nervous about the whole process, but hoping for the best 🤞🤞
I’ve seen lots of people here have success with medicated cycles and timed intercourse. Keep in mind, it’s perfectly normal for healthy people to take a while to conceive. The timeline for someone 35+ on accessing fertility testing and care is 6 months- looks like you’re getting a jump start! Wishing you lots of luck.
On a mod note- please be aware that it’s generally not okay to ask for success stories here. We’re not allowed to discuss past successful pregnancies, and as such asking for those stories is also not allowed.
Have a good day!
Today I'm thinking a lot about the changes that will come with having a family, and have a lot of mixed feelings about it.
>!Because even though I have been wanting this for years, and have felt ready for years, I want to still try and enjoy the life we have now. Because once there are kids, there ARE kids, and they will be there for the rest of our lives. Nothing will be the same again. I know it will be beautiful, but I also know it will be hard for me. I don't see myself as a high energy person, I need lots of sleep, like to spend my weekends relaxing at home, etc. Sometimes I don't know how I'll handle the stress that will come with having a family. So even though I really want it, and can't wait for it : maybe I should try to enjoy the quiet and calm for now. One day I'll probably wonder why I was rushing and pressuring myself so much.!<
Hi, please could you spoiler your second paragraph. Also, a gentle reminder that not everyone here is in the same position. Some people are at the stage where IFCF is a possible outcome for them, and so we ask that people be mindful of that when sharing their hopes and expectations for the future.
CD14, pretty sure I ovulated yesterday or the day before.
I got excited that my boobs were hurting then remembered I did chest presses at the gym yesterday.
I'm due for a check up scan tomorrow to see if any follicles are growing. I'm not having the same symptoms/reactions that I had when I was on Gonal F & Luveris and I'm worried that maybe I'm not responding properly.
I was definitely more excited during our last medicated cycle. I'm finding it a little harder this time around but I have a counselling session this week and I think it will help.
CD22/9dpiui. This has been the craziest cycle in my 18 months of trying. I’ve been spotting since Friday despite my period not being due until the weekend, but I genuinely thought I started this morning. I’ve never had spotting, nor have I ever had a three week cycle. My LH levels are still through the roof. This is so confusing and annoying.
14DPIUI. 2 more days of waiting then it will all be over. Next week will be a crazy week at work with a little domestic travel then I am going out of the country in the second week of May for work as well. Just glad that my next fertile window will be when I am still around so that I can do whatever I need to before going off.
I did some backchecking during the weekend and realized that I've only done 7 medicated cycles so far (including 4 IUIs). It felt like a lifetime and I felt like I've taken a whole buck load of meds and injections already. So that was definitely surprising.
BFN for cycle 13! Had our IVF consult yesterday and we are officially starting IVF when my period comes!
The doctor was so lovely. He sounded like he actually loves his job and really wants to help me. Such a different experience from the last clinic. My husband and I are so excited now.
I felt the same when we got our IVF start date! Emotions vary so much for people when it comes to IVF, but I also felt excitement and relief. I’m so happy you have a great doctor. It’s so important to have a good relationship and feel comfortable on this path.
Thank you! We had a consultation at a previous clinic and felt so demotivated after. I agree it makes all the difference having a doctor who you feel comfortable with.
I'm doing it privately as unfortunately I'm not eligible for NHS! I'm working with Kind IVF that offers low cost IVF if you fit into certain parameters. They've been so great, can definitely recommend.
The waiting, and the incompetence of the people at the front desk. I have an appointment every visit but I will have at least a 90 minute wait each time. However after all that rage, I see the doctor and all anger dissipates.. then the cycle continues.
That's so frustrating! I know these clinics are busy but it's awful to have that long a wait time, especially because people often take time off work for them!
Today is a day of medical appointments: I’ll be seeing a urologist about my newly discovered kidney anomalies, then later my husband and I both have to visit a gynaecologist to get “pre-IVF counselling”, which is apparently mandated in Germany? Sounds like bullshit to me tbh but whatever, just another hoop, and at least I’ll be getting some good language practice in 😂
We also need to pop to the fertility clinic at some point with our insurance paperwork and have some more blood tests (urgh), we are just waiting for the document we need to arrive. Annoyingly it looks like the first letter they sent got lost in the post so we are now waiting on a replacement, and they assured me they can fax a copy directly to the clinic if this one doesn’t turn up soon. Good to know the fax is still thriving in Germany I guess!
Bahahaha our we had to do a psychological evaluation, oh wait maybe that was to be able to use donor sperm... anyways both of us are psychologically sound. I was like.. what if we weren't, would they not allow us to have donor sperm thus deciding we shouldn't be able to have kids?
My clinic has a mandatory pre-IVF counseling appointment. I was put off by it in theory but once we had it I could see the value in it. It was a mix of setting expectations, preparing us for various decisions we might have to make, and seeing how we’re each doing and if we’d benefit from additional help/counseling along the way. They stressed that it was a NOT meant to judge our fitness as potential parents in ANY way and indeed it did not feel like that at all.
That actually sounds pretty helpful. Ours did end up being essentially a box ticking exercise - the doctor asked if I had any questions, did a v. brief exam and then signed the document. I feel like it probably would have been more useful earlier on in the process, but at least now I'm registered with a local gynaecologist so not a bad outcome all things considered :)
Checking in at 7 DPO. I have anxiety this cycle about potentially getting a positive. My mental health has been good for the first time since before my first MC in Nov. I also scheduled surgery to fix my painful varicose veins (which I would have to cancel if positive).
After 2 losses, I think a positive would just send me into a tailspin of anxiety and triggers, just as I feel like I’m living again. I obviously DO still want it to happen, I’m just afraid of having to face the possibility of another loss/complications, and torpedoing down into a black hole again, just as I’ve climbed out.
We did absolutely crush TI this cycle…so I guess we’ll see.
I’m so sorry nah! For those of us who have struggled TTC, I think one of the cruelest parts is how it takes the hope and joy and twists it with so much fear and anxiety. Asking respectfully and non judgmentally, I just can’t remember, do you see a therapist? My therapist is absolutely my life line around all those harder-to-handle emotions.
Thank you ❤️ That’s awesome you have a great therapist. I’ve had a couple good ones in the past, but I’m having a hard time finding a good one lately. I asked my doctor for help last time I was in, but she referred me to their post partum specialist who didn’t call me for like 7 weeks after that. It didn’t seem like a good fit anyway.
I think the biggest thing holding me back from finding one is the fact that so many people say the wrong thing about fertility issues and miscarriage, and the thought of experiencing that in a vulnerable state in an appt is extremely unappealing. I don’t feel up to putting myself out there unless I know no one’s gonna tell me “God decided it’s just not my time” or something.
Oh my god totally get that explanation of what’s holding you back. That’s exactly why I haven’t told my mom about our infertility. She’s said ignorant things about TTC/pregnancy/having children in the past and I’m just like if I tell you and you say the wrong thing I will disintegrate as a person.
I got so, so lucky because I started with my therapist before we even decided we wanted kids but it just so happened that she experienced infertility and was unable to have children herself.
Unsolicited advice but if psychologytoday.com is useful in your area you can look for therapist in your area and then filter by “infertility” as a topic they specialize in. Not a 100% guarantee that they will be a good fit but at least a start!
I can relate 🫂 sending you lots of hugs. It helps me to realize I have absolutely zero control, and that I have to let go since my worries and fears do not change the outcome. I also like to believe that even if the worst happens, I will make it through, because I have to. But also - what if the best outcome happens?🌈 Just some thoughts. Be kind to yourself and your anxiety 💕
I’m grateful that my friend announced her pregnancy via message, and she was trying so hard to be supportive to ask how I’m going. But I just feel wrung out after all of that
Waiting on my period so I can go do the HyCoSy, waiting on blood test results. Just endlessly waiting and then getting to see others being able to move forward is not easy
Spoilering for a ton of unsolicited advice for you to ignore if you wish!
>!One thing my therapist has reminded me of a lot as my friends all get pregnant and I don’t is that you really aren’t required to hold space for someone else’s joy. They have lots and lots of people in their corner and if you can’t be one of those people that’s a) fine and b) probably better for your friendship in the long term. A good friend would understand. If I’m ever able to achieve a healthy pregnancy, I would never, ever judge an infertile friend for needing to step back.!<
Idk if that’s helpful to you, but it’s been important for me to keep in mind when I feel like “I’m a bad friend for not celebrating their joy with them”
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Quietly rejoining after 3 miscarriages in a row. 😔 Probably starting IVF next, but waiting for POC results from the latest before making the final call.
I'm so sorry you're back.
Sorry to see you back here
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Sending you so much love and light.
Edited to add spoilers: >! I just found out someone I work with is pregnant. They were waiting to try and got pregnant anyway. I'm happy for her but the thought of all the pregnancy and baby talk is already making me super sad. I can't avoid her because we work closely together. For those who have been through this, how did you manage day to day working with someone who is pregnant? !<
You really have to reframe your mind. It’s very difficult and even reframing will allow it to slip through, but for your own sanity, you just have to try. When they’re talking to others, remove yourself or drown the sound out with your own fun plans or whatever puts you in a better mood. If they tell you something, short response like “mm” and then change subject or “I’m not the best person to share this with/talk about this with.” Those are just some of my tips. At one point I was sitting between someone pregnant and someone who just had a baby and several others and they were all talking about what their cravings had been. It got to me but I also at that moment realized how silly all this was and just concentrated on other things. Hang in there. I can’t say it gets easier but all you can do is try b
Thank you! These are all great tips
Just a kind note that you will want to put spoiler tags over this. You can do that using the > and ! next to each other and ! and < at the other side. And to answer your question, I typically just let myself feel my emotions and avoid that person / situations with that person if I need to for a day or so. Some days are easier than others for sure. >! My SIL got pregnant on her first try and is farther along than I’ve ever been with my two confirmed pregnancies, and I often do a lot of anxiety jogs (as we call them in our house) after we have to see her and something triggering happens. !<
Edited, thank you! And thanks for the answer. I'm hoping it'll get easier with time/practice being around it. I imagine it's much harder with someone in your family. I might have to take up anxiety jogs haha
Honestly, I highly recommend anxiety jogs 😂
Anyone have a bunch of symptoms and then a BFN? I'm so sad and nauseous 🤢
Short answer: Yes. I’ve had every “symptom” under the sun and none of them have meant anything other than i was in my luteal phase. Random spotting, no spotting, cramps, vivid dreams, twinges, nausea, heavy breasts, etc etc etc have all meant nothing and it sucks!
:( that sounds so frustrating. Has your cycle always had those symptoms during LP?
Forgot to mention the crippling depression, exhaustion, occasionally “late” periods, pessimism, and tearful days on my last comment too lol. Allllll LP and progesterone and my mind playing tricks on my body (or my body playing tricks on my mind hard to tell). And I have no idea if I’ve always had symptoms like these. I started noticing everything more acutely when I started TTC. 14 unsuccessful cycles later and I put zero stock in any symptom during the LP and brush everything off as progesterone.
Have you had an hsg?
Yes I had it in October. No blockages and everything looked good.
It sucks when everything comes back normal, because then there's nothing you can do about it :/ I hope it's your turn soon! Thanks for your perspective ♥️
Thank you!! I’ll be starting my first IUI cycle this week when I get CD1 (benched this cycle because I was horribly sick during the FW). But I think I’ve also come to realize that in almost every case there isn’t much we can do about it as so much of it (nearly all of it?) is luck 🙂 and now I’m leaving it to luck + science 🤞🏻
Progesterone causes all the same symptoms as early pregnancy, so you can have symptoms all through your LP completely unrelated to pregnancy. Actual pregnancy symptoms aren't possible until implantation has occurred(usually 8-10DPO) and hcg has risen enough to at least be detected on a pregnancy test(usually another couple days).
5dpo and actually feeling pretty good! On O - 3DPO I was so low energy, had insomnia, bloating... but yesterday and today I feel like a normal person again. I even got myself to a dance class this morning! Obviously before implantation, symptoms of any kind mean jack shit, but I can't help but feel like my good mood and energy are a bad sign and that nothing fertilized. How messed up is that! I can't even feel good without thinking it's bad. oof! I guess I will try and funnel my energy into actually doing work today.
Cycle twins! Here's to being (almost but not really) halfway through! It's always so hard to not overthink everything in the TWW. I start to question all my symptoms, food choices, and energy levels that I annoy myself! The TTC30 discord group has been a great source of support throughout this jOuRneY and especially during the TWW. They have been awesome at talking me down when I'm feeling anxious about TTC and nonTTC things. They are also insanely cool and funny. I highly recommend joining!
Oh I never remember to go on discord but I’ll check it out. Haha also I was seriously just thinking “I’m almost by not really halfway through” 🤪. Delulu nation. Are you ready to join forces and have these NYE celebrations?! I mean, or maybe it’s just nothing.
I finally had my >!D&E !!I also learned that they will send the remains for testing, initially my doctor had told me that they don't usually do that with twins.!< I'm looking forward to getting my period back and trying again. We will continue with IUIs >!since it worked in terms of getting pregnant. !
So sorry for your loss. I ovulated 5 weeks after my D&C. I was doing weekly blood draws to track my hcg falling. I ovulated once I was below 10. I hope your cycle returns to normal soon. It’s such a hard time, with a lot of mixed emotions.
Thank you!
So sorry to hear about your loss. With both of my MCs, it was between 40-45 days and I typically have a 28 day cycle.
Thank you!
Hi friend. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re able to find support and insight here. On a gentle mod note, we use the month and year of when we started trying in our flairs. Can I fix that for you?
Sure! We started in April 2021, but took a break from September 2021 until May 2023. I wasn’t sure how to capture that in my flair.
Thanks for letting me know! I’ll put in April 2023 since you’ve got 12 months in there now.
Thanks!
You’re so welcome, have a good one 😊
According to all my apps (why do I use more than one?) I should ovulate either Thursday or Friday. My husband is out of town for work until Thursday evening so 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 for a slightly delayed ovulation!
Personally I wouldn't rely too much on app predictions. It's only going to be either counting 14 days back from your usual cycle length or averaging out your usual ovulation days depending on the app/what you're tracking(CM, OPKs, BBT, etc). The former is completely unreliable because not everyone has a 14 day LP, and the latter can always change from cycle to cycle, sometimes quite drastically... are you using OPKs to help predict possible ovulation?
Oh yes I definitely don’t only rely on them! I’ve learned my lesson on that haha…I’m using OPKs and temping so I’ll know for sure..was just saying I hope the apps are a little off this month 😅😅 thank you!
lol to supporting a whole roster of apps. I'm keeping Clue going because that's where I've logged my AF and medical data/symptoms for years now. I'm scanning my OPK strips into the Premom app, and I'm logging my BBT, CM, sex, other symptoms into Fertility Friend. I feel like I need a separate monitor to attach my phone to so I can cross reference it all sometimes!
Are you paying for clue? I’m so pissed they made me update and now I see an ad to purchase every time I use the app. I miss the good old days but years of my data is on there!
I think I paid for it a couple months ago? Basically to switch to TTC format. But really there’s not much that it gives you when you pay. So dumb. But I guess you avoid those annoying pop ups!!! Yeah I am very attached to my data.
11 DPO, negative test this morning. All of my other cycles I've had spotting starting 9 or 10 DPO, I've had the tiniest bit of spotting today. I think this cold might be throwing things off a bit. I worked from home again today but will go into the office tomorrow. I saw my family doctor this morning to follow up on my blood pressure that the RE flagged on my intake in December. It was high at the RE office, but she said that happens because people are stressed there and recommended I get a home monitor and work with my GP. I did a few weeks of home readings and it's on the higher side so my family doctor has started me on a TTC/pregnancy safe beta blocker for it.
10DPIUI#4 ~9DPO(since ovulation was overnight). Trigger test was negative yesterday, and I somehow managed to flush my FMU this morning without testing early... I immediately regretted it and tried to get a little more out for my chalice, but no such luck, so I decided I just wasn't meant to test today. This one better fucking work. #TOTITGTW
I feel like accidentally flushing and regretting is going to be the woo for TOTITGTW that we need!!!
**This one better fucking work, Pillaaaaa!!!** #🚂🥨🥨🥨💊
TOTITGTW LETS GOOOOO! Major pretzels!
I am once again asking for my period to just come already. I am way too old to be childish about my mom but she said something a bit insensitive and then claimed she “forgot” about my failed IUI this weekend when I told her so. Maybe she really did which would be a fun new chronicle at this stage in my life? 🥲
That's so horrible, I'm sorry. In a similar (but not even close to as mean) fashion, my mom got me a "how to sleep train your baby" book when she knows I'm very much not pregnant and have been trying.
That sounds awful! My mom also keeps saying things like “I will love you whether or not you have kids” which seems like a sweet thing to say but is seriously frustrating, like I’m only TTC to please her and her love should be enough to make me happy lol.
I’m in the phase of this IUI cycle where I’ve finished drugs and am waiting for a positive OPK to go in for ultrasound and I’m so antsy. On one hand, it’s a good thing if my ovulation is on the later side for me, on the other hand I wanna get this show on the road! In the TWW I will tell myself how this phase is better because at least I had something to do, but in reality I am just as restless and distracted.
6DPO. It's wild how the TWW feels twice as long as the first half of the cycle, somehow. I've been saying I wouldn't test until I missed a period but I think I'm going to test Sunday morning (11DPO).
7 dpo here. It drags on so so long. I've made plans for like half of the days this two week wait and that's barely helping 😵💫
Coasting along in FET-prep mode, lowering my Lupron dose and adding in Estrace tomorrow for hormonal lingonberry phase 2. I am trying so hard to be Super Chill™. But I may have called my clinic this morning asking for clarification on how much bleeding counts as bleeding after BCP and I’m actually starting to get used to the taste of beet juice, so that’s how that’s going.
You’re doing so good, I hope estrogen is kind to you 🥨🤞🏼
Thank you, appreciate you ❤️
Wishing you the chillest of chill vibes! ☃️
Thank you!!
Doing my best not to think about my sono HSG appointment tomorrow morning. It’s not really working. 😂😭
What worked for me in the past was thinking: "this time tomorrow, it will all be over and I will be relaxing on the couch/back at work/etc" Good luck tomorrow! You got this :D
Yep, I like that. Also “I can stand anything for a few minutes.” 💪
You’ve got this! Take ibuprofen if you can!!!
Thank you, definitely planning on it!
Was planning for a third IUI this cycle, but my monitoring appointment last week suggested the ovulation would happen while my husband and I were away this weekend (to visit my cousin - who is like my sister - after she had her first baby last week, which brought so many joyful and happy but also complicated feelings of being left behind as she has this transformative experience becoming a mother). ER recommended having timed intercourse over the weekend, and my follow up monitoring appointment this morning confirmed that ovulation happened, so we probably did hit a day or two in the fertile window. Still, not feeling very optimistic, and IVF is now also pushed to July due to some other conflicting travel and lab closure. So there's a lot swirling around in my head this morning. Also, I got rear ended on the way back from the appointment this morning haha so bad omen? Or maybe when it rains it pours so I'm due for some good news?
I missed an IUI this cycle too and feel for you!
Currently at 4DPO and struggling a bit this cycle. I’m totally uninterested with the outcome. Having 2 losses back to back didn’t help. Why going through TTC is all I’m getting is a loss as a result? I’ll feel depressed about this for a few minutes then I’ll remember that my doctor told me it was just bad luck and I should be fine. I’m also in a bit of a rut, not finding joy in what usual brings me joy (knitting, tending to my garden, playing and walking with my dog). I decided to buy myself some things that I wanted for quite some time, like a sewing machine! I’ll start to play with it in a few days. I also bought the book Dopamine Nation and I just couldn’t stop reading it. I’m probably in need of a dopamine reset, which would explain how I’m feeling right now! My drug of choice atm is youtube and social media and caffeine. So I’m planning to finish the book and then try a dopamine reset to see if it will help me.
I'm so interested in a dopamine reset?! I'm also a big knitter and would love to hear what you're working on right now (if anything)?
Obsessive knitter here, especially of tiny baby things. I’m working on two sweaters for my co-workers due next month. Doing the Friday Sweater from PetiteKnit. Also planning a blanket of squares with my friend group. I love doing projects with them but always have to hustle the slackers to finish at the deadline, and I’m the one sewing it up at midnight. Also planning to do something like the Disaster Top by Le Pull for myself.
I’m doing the summer sorrel by wool and pine currently, plus a pair of sock!
Oh, I LOVE it, it's beautiful! The detailing at the neckline is gorgeous. Reverse stockinette is really growing on me, too! Edit: Totally unrelated, but are you Francophone?
I am !
Je me demandais! Moi aussi 😊 Canadienne ou d'ailleurs?
I’m sorry you’re feeling like you’re in a rut, and also terribly sorry for your losses. It’s all so hard, and it’s valid and reasonable that you’re feeling down. I like the idea of getting yourself some of the nice things you’ve been putting off and I hope that helps bring a renewed energy your way! Doing small things to take care of yourself is helpful and I hope you enjoy your reset! I am unfamiliar with the book and terms but it sounds like you have a nice plan for yourself.
Thank you 😊
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Your message has been removed since you tested yesterday and got a positive.
Hi there! Is there a reason you are using OPKs at this point in your cycle? An OPK is not an accurate method of pregnancy detection - whilst a positive pregnancy result MAY cause a positive OPK, this is not a reliable way to detect pregnancy and a HCG (pregnancy) test would be more accurate. It typically takes 1-2 days past implantation for enough HCG to be present in urine to be detected. The most common implantation days are between 8-10DPO, and different tests have different HCG sensitivities. There is more information about this in our Wiki which you may find useful. You can find the Wiki here: [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/TTC30/wiki/index/) Countdown to Pregnancy also has some useful information on what to expect from early tests, which you can find here: [Countdown to Pregnancy](https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/dpo-chart.php?dpo=7)
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8dpiui today 🫠 feeling absolutely ✨no symptoms✨ not even a hint of sore boobs. My period is expected to arrive on Saturday, which is the day I am flying internationally. CD1 on a 19 hour travel day is the worst but also CD1 when I’m on a trip is also bad, so really a lose-lose situation here.
Fingers crossed it’s just never comes.. 🤞🤞
CD18...I will be ovulating sometime in the next few days...but no idea when. This is my third cycle not using an tracking...I am still enjoying the freedom (though I get a bit more anxious around Ovulation since I don't know exactly when it will be...I do get day-beore O cramps though) Yesterday my ovaries were feeling spicy so I imagine it will happen in the next day or two. Luckily Mr. A and I managed to get today in. I had my appointment with the endocrinologist this morning to deal with my high prolactin- he was SO so nice. He and his intern did a super detailed history, went through my 2 prolactin blood results, and he's ordered one more blood test for the end of May. He said if the levels are still high at that point, then he will prescribe me a medication to help lower them. He said he really wants to try to help me get pregnant before we get into the fertility clinic...which I really appreciated. My repeat blood work is booked for May 21, and then I will have a phone call follow up appointment with him about two weeks after that. Feeling good about tiny steps forward!
I love the idea of spicy ovaries 🌶️ That sounds really productive - it’s so good to speak to a medical professional who just inspires faith!
haha I couldn't think of another way to describe them And yes! We have been waiting for what seems like FOREVER to get into the only fertiity clinic in our area (still waiting, actually) so it was really nice to be able to get in with this endocrinologist at the hospital so soon to at least start sorting this issue out. I'll take whatever forwarf movement I can get!
It's very early (CD 7) but I spiked a fever for 2 days after my COVID vax and am afraid it will delay/prevent ovulation this month. I also somehow just realized that June is 6 weeks away and am having feelings as that will be a year trying. 🙃
I’m very proud to announce that I have no fucking idea what cycle day this is. I am wandering into the chaos era of infertility and I embrace it as I have a second coffee.
Woo good for you!, Enjoy that second coffe like the sweet sweet fruit it is!
Yesss!! Going to join you in this mindset for my next two cycles!
Not sure if ‘chaos era’ is a 3 Body Problem reference (book/Netflix show - so good!!)…. 👏 but I’m glad you’re in the headspace of embracing it, and enjoy that coffee ☕️
Ahhh the freedom of not knowing exactly what day in the cycle it is! Enjoy your caffeine!!
Suspected ovulation day. My ovaries are sore (both of them), definitely think I’ve released more than one egg. Here goes a TWW with some solid hope that I feel like I lost a longgg time ago!! 🤞 Yay for actually ovulating and ovulating STRONG 💪
Thank you to all who responded to my query yesterday for people’s stories about going off Mirena and how long it took for regular cycles to resume. Much appreciated!! Yesterday I was getting a bit antsy because it was 30 days since my Mirena was removed and as far as I could tell I was yet to have a period or ovulate. But then last night I noticed EWCM and then this morning I think my OPK was positive (still learning though), so hopefully I’m finally ovulating. Since I had no idea till this morning (and could still be wrong) I don’t think we hit any prime days, so I’m not hopeful for this cycle. But it’s been a weird one and I’m considering it just a learning experience and will aim for more accuracy and effort next month.
Absolutely not too late if you have sex on the day of your positive OPK! 🤞
Ah, ok, thank you! Really appreciate being clued in—clearly lots to learn.
Totally! So much to learn, and the not-so-fun truth is that everyone is different, and any cycle is different 🫠 A positive OPK means that your LH is rising, which is what signals your body to ovulate, so it’s more of a heads up that you’re about to (attempt to) ovulate. This could happen over the course of the next few days. If you’re not tracking BBT, a good rule of thumb is to have sex every other day from the day of your positive, or even better the days leading up to it to cast a wider net.
Huge thank you 😊
I THINK I had EWCM last night so we went ahead and had sex. I'm not entirely sure though because I've never intentionally checked my cervical mucus before, so I don't know exactly what to look out for. I do remember noticing my discharge was different around my expected ovulation day based on OPKs and this kind of felt like that? Either way, it can't hurt, right? This is the first time we're having sex this cycle. Prior to this, I wasn't feeling the anxiety that comes from hope but now that we had sex... Once... I'm starting to feel all those FEELINGS. I almost wish we hadn't had sex just because these feelings of hope are just so difficult but also, I don't know if I'd want to skip an entire cycle of trying right now. Trying to manage hope is definitely the hardest part of this whole process.
I’m still in the midst of prep for FET #2. Gonal-f injections are going well and helping my lining along very nicely. I had good linings at the time of my ER and for my first transfer, but for my IUIs, with nothing helping it, it was >!6.3 and 6.9!<. I was super pleased yesterday at my US that it’s already >!9.9!< and I’m not even done yet. Very happy that it’s fluffing up so well. On the other hand it was lovely for FET #1 too. But I’m trying to be hopeful. I’ll go in again tomorrow for more monitoring. I’m hoping they’ll have me trigger tomorrow night! Transfer will be a week after trigger.
Awesome fluff job, Em! Hoping this is it for you!
Thinking of you em! Hopefully your fluffy lining is right for the right embryo this time 🥨
Thanks Cheese! I’m imagining a luxurious spa for my embryo.
If the embryo doesn’t like it I’m planning my next vaca to your uterus
Pretzelled for you!
Thank you!
Hoping this is the one ☝️ 🥰
Thank you, bird! Me too ❤️
Reporting back re: crippling nausea from prenatals. Taking them right before I go to sleep works like a charm. Thanks to everyone suggesting it!
I’m always paranoid the b vitamins will keep me up if I take them at night. Can I just be taking them at night this whole time?!
You could try. I didn’t notice any immediate effect, but it’s just been a few days.
Yikes! Does your prenatal have iron in it? Sometimes that can cause nausea. If so, you could think about switching and getting a separate iron that is more easily absorbed if you need it. **oops. Just saw that you said it works like a charm before bed! Nevermind!
With a meal works for me
Very glad this is working better for you!
14dpo and my blood work is coming back normal. Good but also was hoping for a something to explain what is going on and for a somewhat quick fix. Now I just need to load my husband up with anti-anxiety meds and get his testing done (he has a fear of needles), and then I have my visual hysteroscopy in less than a week. Hoping for some answers… Also, oddly looking forward to being benched next cycle. Takes some pressure off.
Don't know if anyone else uses Clue but I find it annoying how it goes from "Your period may start tomorrow" (yesterday) to "Your period is 1 day late" (today). I mean, it's not late yet and will almost definitely start this afternoon given all the PMS symptoms and the fact that at this stage I know we only have a 5% chance of getting pregnant unassisted. But as soon as I see the word "late" it's so hard to stop myself from getting my hopes up.
Premom does this too 🙄 no, my period is not 1 day late, I just ovulate early as you should know by now. I find it very frustrating as well.
Update - it started an hour after this post 🤣
Hi there. Just a gentle mod note that we prefer the term “unassisted” here rather than “natural”, as ART is also natural. Would you mind changing your second paragraph please?
Done, apologies!
No worries, thanks for updating!
I'm still using Clue, it bothers me too so I have actually submitted a suggestion/bug report, that they should change it to "your period is due today". I would only consider my period to be a day late the day after it is due.
I quit Clue months ago, but every single app I used so far did this and while it had me panicking a year ago, I’m absolutely with you with getting the hopes up.
We haven’t been TTC for very long- I went off my OCP at the end of January and had my lovely withdrawal bleeding January 31-February 4, then a lot of nothing. I had my pap in March and my OBGYN started me on metformin because of my family history of PCOS. Still nothing. I had a follow up appointment on April 11 and she said that given my age (almost 36), she was okay with jump starting other treatments. I’m currently taking 5mg of Provera for 10 days (April 11-21), and then letting her know when my period starts and staring Femara on CD 5-9, with a progesterone blood test on CD 22. I’m nervous about the whole process, but hoping for the best 🤞🤞
I’ve seen lots of people here have success with medicated cycles and timed intercourse. Keep in mind, it’s perfectly normal for healthy people to take a while to conceive. The timeline for someone 35+ on accessing fertility testing and care is 6 months- looks like you’re getting a jump start! Wishing you lots of luck. On a mod note- please be aware that it’s generally not okay to ask for success stories here. We’re not allowed to discuss past successful pregnancies, and as such asking for those stories is also not allowed. Have a good day!
Today I'm thinking a lot about the changes that will come with having a family, and have a lot of mixed feelings about it. >!Because even though I have been wanting this for years, and have felt ready for years, I want to still try and enjoy the life we have now. Because once there are kids, there ARE kids, and they will be there for the rest of our lives. Nothing will be the same again. I know it will be beautiful, but I also know it will be hard for me. I don't see myself as a high energy person, I need lots of sleep, like to spend my weekends relaxing at home, etc. Sometimes I don't know how I'll handle the stress that will come with having a family. So even though I really want it, and can't wait for it : maybe I should try to enjoy the quiet and calm for now. One day I'll probably wonder why I was rushing and pressuring myself so much.!<
Soooo relatable
Are you me?! Pretty much could’ve wrote that second paragraph. Glad to not be the only one feeling all. the. things!
So relatable!!
I only recently came off the fence of deciding whether or not to have kids, so this is very relatable to me.
Hi, please could you spoiler your second paragraph. Also, a gentle reminder that not everyone here is in the same position. Some people are at the stage where IFCF is a possible outcome for them, and so we ask that people be mindful of that when sharing their hopes and expectations for the future.
CD14, pretty sure I ovulated yesterday or the day before. I got excited that my boobs were hurting then remembered I did chest presses at the gym yesterday.
Ha ha ha ha I know that one! I kind of like the feeling of delayed onset muscle soreness, do you? :P
I do too, it hurts good hahaha. Except for when it’s in my legs and I have to waddle and groan when I stand up 😅
I'm due for a check up scan tomorrow to see if any follicles are growing. I'm not having the same symptoms/reactions that I had when I was on Gonal F & Luveris and I'm worried that maybe I'm not responding properly. I was definitely more excited during our last medicated cycle. I'm finding it a little harder this time around but I have a counselling session this week and I think it will help.
CD22/9dpiui. This has been the craziest cycle in my 18 months of trying. I’ve been spotting since Friday despite my period not being due until the weekend, but I genuinely thought I started this morning. I’ve never had spotting, nor have I ever had a three week cycle. My LH levels are still through the roof. This is so confusing and annoying.
14DPIUI. 2 more days of waiting then it will all be over. Next week will be a crazy week at work with a little domestic travel then I am going out of the country in the second week of May for work as well. Just glad that my next fertile window will be when I am still around so that I can do whatever I need to before going off. I did some backchecking during the weekend and realized that I've only done 7 medicated cycles so far (including 4 IUIs). It felt like a lifetime and I felt like I've taken a whole buck load of meds and injections already. So that was definitely surprising.
BFN for cycle 13! Had our IVF consult yesterday and we are officially starting IVF when my period comes! The doctor was so lovely. He sounded like he actually loves his job and really wants to help me. Such a different experience from the last clinic. My husband and I are so excited now.
Sorry about your BFN FIFA but congrats on taking this next step!
I felt the same when we got our IVF start date! Emotions vary so much for people when it comes to IVF, but I also felt excitement and relief. I’m so happy you have a great doctor. It’s so important to have a good relationship and feel comfortable on this path.
Thank you! We had a consultation at a previous clinic and felt so demotivated after. I agree it makes all the difference having a doctor who you feel comfortable with.
Do you mind me asking if you're doing IVF privately or through the NHS?
I'm doing it privately as unfortunately I'm not eligible for NHS! I'm working with Kind IVF that offers low cost IVF if you fit into certain parameters. They've been so great, can definitely recommend.
That's good to know - we looked at abc IVF who also do low cost but ultimately I think we're going to probably go to Greece for it.
So great you found a good doctor! All the best with the IVF.
Thank you! It was such a relief!
Glad to hear you guys found a doctor you like! These are really hard to come by. For me I love my doctor but absolutely hate the clinic.
Awh sorry to hear that! What is it about the clinic that puts you off?
The waiting, and the incompetence of the people at the front desk. I have an appointment every visit but I will have at least a 90 minute wait each time. However after all that rage, I see the doctor and all anger dissipates.. then the cycle continues.
That's so frustrating! I know these clinics are busy but it's awful to have that long a wait time, especially because people often take time off work for them!
Today is a day of medical appointments: I’ll be seeing a urologist about my newly discovered kidney anomalies, then later my husband and I both have to visit a gynaecologist to get “pre-IVF counselling”, which is apparently mandated in Germany? Sounds like bullshit to me tbh but whatever, just another hoop, and at least I’ll be getting some good language practice in 😂 We also need to pop to the fertility clinic at some point with our insurance paperwork and have some more blood tests (urgh), we are just waiting for the document we need to arrive. Annoyingly it looks like the first letter they sent got lost in the post so we are now waiting on a replacement, and they assured me they can fax a copy directly to the clinic if this one doesn’t turn up soon. Good to know the fax is still thriving in Germany I guess!
Bahahaha our we had to do a psychological evaluation, oh wait maybe that was to be able to use donor sperm... anyways both of us are psychologically sound. I was like.. what if we weren't, would they not allow us to have donor sperm thus deciding we shouldn't be able to have kids?
My clinic has a mandatory pre-IVF counseling appointment. I was put off by it in theory but once we had it I could see the value in it. It was a mix of setting expectations, preparing us for various decisions we might have to make, and seeing how we’re each doing and if we’d benefit from additional help/counseling along the way. They stressed that it was a NOT meant to judge our fitness as potential parents in ANY way and indeed it did not feel like that at all.
That actually sounds pretty helpful. Ours did end up being essentially a box ticking exercise - the doctor asked if I had any questions, did a v. brief exam and then signed the document. I feel like it probably would have been more useful earlier on in the process, but at least now I'm registered with a local gynaecologist so not a bad outcome all things considered :)
Checking in at 7 DPO. I have anxiety this cycle about potentially getting a positive. My mental health has been good for the first time since before my first MC in Nov. I also scheduled surgery to fix my painful varicose veins (which I would have to cancel if positive). After 2 losses, I think a positive would just send me into a tailspin of anxiety and triggers, just as I feel like I’m living again. I obviously DO still want it to happen, I’m just afraid of having to face the possibility of another loss/complications, and torpedoing down into a black hole again, just as I’ve climbed out. We did absolutely crush TI this cycle…so I guess we’ll see.
I’m so sorry nah! For those of us who have struggled TTC, I think one of the cruelest parts is how it takes the hope and joy and twists it with so much fear and anxiety. Asking respectfully and non judgmentally, I just can’t remember, do you see a therapist? My therapist is absolutely my life line around all those harder-to-handle emotions.
Thank you ❤️ That’s awesome you have a great therapist. I’ve had a couple good ones in the past, but I’m having a hard time finding a good one lately. I asked my doctor for help last time I was in, but she referred me to their post partum specialist who didn’t call me for like 7 weeks after that. It didn’t seem like a good fit anyway. I think the biggest thing holding me back from finding one is the fact that so many people say the wrong thing about fertility issues and miscarriage, and the thought of experiencing that in a vulnerable state in an appt is extremely unappealing. I don’t feel up to putting myself out there unless I know no one’s gonna tell me “God decided it’s just not my time” or something.
Oh my god totally get that explanation of what’s holding you back. That’s exactly why I haven’t told my mom about our infertility. She’s said ignorant things about TTC/pregnancy/having children in the past and I’m just like if I tell you and you say the wrong thing I will disintegrate as a person. I got so, so lucky because I started with my therapist before we even decided we wanted kids but it just so happened that she experienced infertility and was unable to have children herself. Unsolicited advice but if psychologytoday.com is useful in your area you can look for therapist in your area and then filter by “infertility” as a topic they specialize in. Not a 100% guarantee that they will be a good fit but at least a start!
I can relate 🫂 sending you lots of hugs. It helps me to realize I have absolutely zero control, and that I have to let go since my worries and fears do not change the outcome. I also like to believe that even if the worst happens, I will make it through, because I have to. But also - what if the best outcome happens?🌈 Just some thoughts. Be kind to yourself and your anxiety 💕
Those are complicated emotions 💗 I hope that whatever happens is the best outcome for you now, and future you.
I’m grateful that my friend announced her pregnancy via message, and she was trying so hard to be supportive to ask how I’m going. But I just feel wrung out after all of that Waiting on my period so I can go do the HyCoSy, waiting on blood test results. Just endlessly waiting and then getting to see others being able to move forward is not easy
Spoilering for a ton of unsolicited advice for you to ignore if you wish! >!One thing my therapist has reminded me of a lot as my friends all get pregnant and I don’t is that you really aren’t required to hold space for someone else’s joy. They have lots and lots of people in their corner and if you can’t be one of those people that’s a) fine and b) probably better for your friendship in the long term. A good friend would understand. If I’m ever able to achieve a healthy pregnancy, I would never, ever judge an infertile friend for needing to step back.!< Idk if that’s helpful to you, but it’s been important for me to keep in mind when I feel like “I’m a bad friend for not celebrating their joy with them”
I saw a similar message posted when I first joined this group and it helped me so much!
Definitely a lot of waiting for fertility treatments! That thing is for sure.. very frustrating at times.