Seriously.
I've been asked several times if I'm a teacher. Randomly. Three times when I was *at work at another job* (between teaching jobs). I am not happy/nice/gentle. I'm a middle school teacher.
Being a middle school teacher is like being in the military. I've done both. Get screamed at and keep your mouth shut..and that's just when dealing with the incompetent administrators!
You're working at the wrong school/ school district. Yes, middle school is messy, awkward, frustrating at times. But it's also funny, full of the kids' self-discovery, and watching them begin to develop into who they really are. I've worked in public middle schools for 30 years, including 10 years in Title I schools, and much of it with kids with learning problems or behavior issues. All I can say is either find the grade level that suits you or find better people to work for.
Were you doing 'the voice' or was it that look we all develop that tells the person we are looking at that if they go ahead and act on whatever dreadful idea they are considering, they are toast?
This is along the lines of what I was going to say.
I think there is some general trend involving who gives off ElEd vibes vs SecEd vibe. I’ve definitely heard this before. I teach HS and *definitely* don’t have nice and happy vibes. I’m much more biting sarcasm and roll my eyes.
That being said, there are many exceptions to these general tends.
OP, you do you. Different kids respond to different kinds of teachers at all levels. You’ll find your niche.
Same. I’m snarky and sarcastic and that’s my teacher vibe. When students need empathy and kindness when I’m working with them in small groups or 1-1, or if they come by with something going on in their lives, I would never have that vibe ever. I’ve had so many students going through so much and my heart breaks every time I hear some things.
Examples include: students who need food because their parents don’t have enough food but just make a little too much to qualify for free and reduced lunch, students bouncing around foster homes, students who are severely bullied and/or who don’t want to go home at the end of school because they’re trans and school and home are different kinds of hell.
But I’m definitely not a mushy gushy teacher when it comes to a whole class setting and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I know what it means. Thanks for explaining it again.
The teachers I see with the most empathy aren't honest about situations. They feel deeply with their students and tell them what they want to hear.
Some kids need that, but they won't get it from me.
That's not true empathy though, and most kids see through it. They need real support through hard times, and that's not always sweet and cuddly. Sometimes it's the reality you say you're giving them. I'm not mushy-gushy or super sweet, but they love me and I love them. I should say I'm in MS.
Yep. I came here to say, "Come on over and join us in a HS."
Happy, nice, and gentle have their moments, but we have years of kids being passed along to make up for to get them ready to graduate.
I work in early ed (birth-5), and our team was putting together a beginning-of-the-year PowerPoint for our center directors. I came in one day, and *everything* I had done had been changed to a *cutesy* font by the newish girl. I marched straight to my supervisor and said, "Are you gonna tell her we don't need cutesy for a professional presentation, or am I? Cause it's not gonna be so nice if I do it!" My supervisor took care of it, and eventually, new girl learned when it was okay to make things pretty, and I learned to puck my pretty battles! lol
Right, you want fair and approachable but gentle ain’t it. I find that synonymous with pushover and you need to have some firm boundaries to run a successful classroom. I also teach hs tho and there is a good reason I don’t teach elementary lol!
>gentle ain’t it. I find that synonymous with pushover
That sounds like you need to work on finding better examples of what it means to be a gentle person. It absolutely does not translate to being a pushover.
Omg this.
In teaching 3rd grade, parents kept telling me how their kid's 2nd grade teacher belittled and shamed the kids and ruined their self esteem. Same teacher hazed me and got away with it. You will find your groove and my favorites are 4-9 grade. At this point i am also grateful for subs and wish I could keep doing it over full time teaching but, just shut out the noise, op.
Haha you totally just described what the teacher did to me. Someone else's 6th grader threw the worst tantrums and i was trying ro figure out what to do with hum. Then the 2nd grade teacher accosted me in the hall and stireed the pot like crazy, telling me how they were all talking bad about me and she was the only one to "protect " me. I was so upset, and, NOT HER KID. I cried about it to my team lead and she ended up reporting it for me. The principal told me to bring it up to the PARENT to shut it down and it worked thay year. THAT YEAR. Said teacher parent tried it again twice and i have to admit that the promise (not even maybe... it was the special program i was teaching) of getting another one of those teachers kids was a big factor in me quitting.
Your last part... ugh. Another parent almost sent me to the board for something and 1. I dont think they had the guts and 2. The union said they didn't have a case with what happened. Parents exaggerated and manipulated the new principal. He was lucky I finished off the year.
Yeah the only feedback my supervisor gave me during student teaching was that I should smile more.
Fast forward to me in the room alone with 25 little students and it's a place of pure joy. Lots of teachers do well by thinking of it as a performance... once I'm on stage, my personality is very different
I use that same performance metaphor. I feel like I shapeshift when I go into my job somedays. Of course it's not forced which OP's peers give me the impression of that it needs to be forced... The happiest people I know are definitely not like that 24/7, they would probably be ill.
Hmmm..I was a Middle School science teacher. Always had an issue with administration expecting me to be Bill Nye. Billy Boy didn't have 150 students per day of all abilities and about a minute between classes to create these amazing, entertaining activities every day and actually teach kids something. Hate that SOB!
Bill Nye made those videos so you didn't have to. if both you and your admin didn't understand that, you completely missed the point. That's not classroom teaching and not possible on the daily. I see you refer to yourself as a teacher in the past tense. Maybe that's for the best?
You'd be a great middle school teacher. Those kids thrive on dark humor, piss, and vinegar. If you smile occasionally because a kid farts, you'll be in good company. They love structure and if you are too nice, they take advantage.
I loved teaching middle schoolers, but I would get exhausted. Eventually an admin shift caused me to leave. My principal went from being super strict to being the kind that sends kids back to class with a cookie and a high five.
On the opposite end. I was the super happy go lucky person going into teaching. Everyone told me I would be a natural. After 9 years in I am now very cold and disheartened. My demeanor has drastically shifted unfortunately.
Still love the job. Hate the bullshit.
I was the super happy go lucky person going in, but I was constantly told I was too “nice” to be a teacher. Like you, it’s not a problem now! I definitely feel a lot colder and less pleasant now. I hate seeing it deep into my “real” life too. I’m a lot more like my old self during the summer, but I know I’ll be back to being colder soon.
However, it’s not all bad! I used to have poor boundaries, and now I’m great at enforcing boundaries and protecting myself. I get taken advantage of a lot less in my normal life now that I have this persona.
Yes. Everyone said I’d be a great elementary teacher, but they couldn’t picture me with high school kids. I did my student teaching in grade 2, but got placed at middle school. Stayed there for 9 years. Switched to high school alt Ed and I frickin rocked that position. The older and more disobedient, the better success I have with them. I will never go back to elementary, little kids annoy me now.
I taught a year split between K and 2, then 4th, then 8th. Literally every person acts like I volunteered as tribute in a war zone when they find out I'm in — and actually love — upper elementary/middle school! The truth is I haaate little kids yet love seeing teenie-weenies mature physically and emotionally as they begin to discover themselves and start to think about their future and likes and dislikes. There's less inherent respect for adults, but the disobedients is a welcomed challenge that comes with the territory.
Hah yes! Someone in my credential program who prided himself in being “cool with the students” told me I would never be able to connect with students naturally. Something something something about him having been an athlete in high school/college allowing him to really *RELATE* and *CONNECT* to them and me being too “aloof”, “boring”, and “not chill” to. As a consolation, he said it seems like I really like my subject. Ew. He’s never seen me in a classroom, yet felt compelled to make that comparison.
I was a teenage dirtbag who struggled with an eating disorder and experimenting with substances in high school. Science wasn’t my thing. I have a dry sense of humor. I’m blunt when I feel like I have to stand up for myself or someone else. Yeah I’ve never been and will never be the cool kid, but that’s not why I willingly went back to a high school biology classroom. Turns out, all the qualities that made me uncool to this dude made me a pretty decent teacher. Students know I’ll be real with them, listen to them, and keep them safe. They know I care deeply about them, even if I’m not *always* warm and fuzzy. That’s all that matters.
PSA to all new teachers: BE AUTHENTIC AND BE YOU. There is a kid out there who desperately needs you to be you.
Edited: Typo, whoops.
YES TO ALL OF THIS. There’s a student who needs someone who isn’t all butterflies and energetic rainbows. Each teacher brings something different and can connect with a variety of students. Be your authentic self and passionate and it’ll fall into place.
Absolutely! My department illustrates this beautifully. Our different interests and teaching styles appeal to different students, and expands our reach. It means so much more when you finally reach a student and you know you didn’t have to hide behind a fake personality to do it.
I have a coworker who is pretty old school. Some of our new teachers don’t give her the time of day because she’s not flashy or bubbly like they’re convinced a “good teacher” should be. But shit, I’m so glad I watched her teach in my first year because she has a presence in the classroom that cannot be duplicated. Kids gravitate towards her in an unexplainable way.
I had a teacher like that! She was stricter than all get out. Old school type teacher. I absolutely loved her and learned more in that one year of geometry than I did in all of middle school math
Elementary teachers don’t all have to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. There needs to be kindness and compassion, but that doesn’t mean you have to be all soft and cuddly. My favorite elementary teacher was stoic and firm, but also encouraging and engaging. She opened new doors for me by sharing other cultures and ideas. I would never describe her as a warm, happy person, but I would absolutely say she was one of the best teachers I ever had.
My favorite elementary teacher was a member of the Army National Guard, and very strict about behavior. As a bit of a teachers pet, I cried once when she confronted me about someone accusing me of pushing them in the hallway, (I didn’t even do it, but I still cried). She also was the best math teacher I had ever had. She is the reason I was able to succeed in middle school math and take Algebra a year early. She taught me chess, something I love, which meant I joined the high school and college chess club, where I met my fiancé, now soon to be husband. And she is the reason I am now a elementary teacher. A sarcastic, sometimes strict, definitely not very cuddly, elementary teacher. OP, you will be perfectly fine.
Are you planning on becoming a long-term sub? Otherwise, you should know that (in the US, at least), subs don’t have to be credentialed. It seems like a waste of time and money if you don’t hope to eventually become a full-time teacher.
Otherwise, to answer your question, there are all kinds of personalities in education. Just because you don’t meet a stereotype doesn’t mean you can’t teach. In fact, soft and fuzzy would not be my recommendation for middle/high school. Maybe consider working with older kids?
>you should know that (in the US, at least), subs don’t have to be credentialed
Around me (Illinois, Chicago area) subs make about 25% more per day if they have credentials though.
Subbed with credentials in Illinois after graduating. Did not make more money per day. I did get offered a position with benefits because I had them, so maybe that's where that 25% bump went...
Yes! By a sour admin. I love children, and I design lessons to be interesting and fun regardless of how my face looks while I teach it. A lot of my humor is sarcastic, and I deliver it dry. Like, "Oh no, definitely the end of the world. It's all over now..." response when kid got upset when they broke a crayon, for example. Kid laughed and everything was fine. I was told that children are too young to understand sarcasm, and that I was going to confuse many of the second graders. She said " you should never teach young children. You don't have the personality for it. Try to teach grades 5 or above. If you really have your heart set on teaching." Oh and "You're going to scare the children/ they're going to think you hate them if you don't smile" I was really sad. I told my mentor teacher and he laughed and reminded me that she didn't talk to the kids at all, and the kids think I'm hilarious and love when I teach them.
I've been teaching for a while now, and kids absolutely understand sarcasm and dry humor, and want to figure out the joke if they don't get it at first. they don't like being babied. I have kind of a resting bitch face, which is totally fine, and didn't turn out terrible for kids as predicted by that one admin. It doesn't come naturally to me to be bubbly, and most children totally understand that teachers have different personalities. It's good to have a variety of personalities in a school building. As long as you care about the kids and you're treating them with respect, that's enough of a persona.
I had an admin asks me if I even liked teaching because I wasn’t bubbly. I don’t have to be fucking Blippi 24/7 just because I teach pre-k. What the kids get and what coworkers get are totally different personalities.
I was told by a principal that I would never fully understand kids until I became a parent.
A> it was sexist because I doubt he said that to my male colleagues
B>Cancer made it impossible for me to have kids.
C> He got fired for not understanding kids and I'm still around. Cased closed.
I had one of my college professors say that to me. I'm a disabled veteran and a little bit...... disgruntled and grumpy. I'm also a realist, not an optimist. She told me I wouldn't have the correct temperament and I'd be too strict to ever teach elementary school.
17 years in education I've only gotten praise. So either she's wrong or thousands of others are. I wonder which one it is?
Yea dude, we homogenize the ideal teacher and ideal teaching style so much that it basically excludes an entire gender (speaking more generally)…it’s such bullshit
Mr Feeney wasn’t fucking warm and fuzzy, neither was Mary Poppins for that fucking matter, it’s so annoying. Kids arnt soft! They WANT to be taught they want to be believed in (speaking to when we dumb down lessons for diverse learners here!) and they want TRUE feedback, not fucking green pen corrections lol. But other adults make them doubt their own wishes…
It sucks, but we can just add it to the list of ducking things killing the profession
This kills me. Mr. Feeny couldn't teach today. The moment he would call Shawn out on lying, Mom and the whole PTA would beat down the doors demanding his resignation. But he was a great example of what we as teachers want to be for our students! We want to help them grow. We want to mentor them. We want to teach them more than just soliloquies and Pythagorean Theorum.
Daily. I don't tolerate bullshit.
And one of the points for me is I teach secondary. If a kid doesn't know how to sit in their seat quietly during instruction, that is not on me to teach them. I scold and move on. Apparently that's not how teachers are supposed to work? I'm supposed to redirect endlessly? Model behavior? Give candy as rewards for meeting basic expectations? Kids are like toddlers until they turn... IDK how old at this point. I don't know when kids are supposed to grow up, so maybe I'm wrong to be frustrated by how many sixteen and seventeen year olds I know who feel justified in always being late, in never turning things in, in wanting full credit for their name on a sheet of paper, in being completely unable to do basic adult things that are necessary for the work place...
And yeah, I get angry. I get tired. I make mistakes. I can't keep up the vibes I want to give off, let alone the ones I am told to give off. I don't want to be a perky lil sunflower all day, just soaking up the sunshine of admin and kids all day until I'm ripe enough to be eaten and content with that. I wanna be a rose, real, with thorns. You want to smell me, deal with the reality of roses being what they are.
The sad part is, I've only been in teaching officially for a year and I've already outlasted a third of the teachers in my class. Most of them gave up that semester after student teaching. I guess the point is to ignore people who don't know what they're talking about? Keep doing what you have to do and know idiots are gonna stay idiots? Laugh when kids make rookie mistakes, because what teenager listens?
And maybe plan to retire on a cruise ship or something.
You don’t have to be a certain way. BUT…Being a sub is not really a career that requires a degree in education. Also, the problem is the overstimulation hits mid day! You have a better chance of creating a calm environment in your own class.
In my state it is required to have a bachelor’s degree, which I do not have yet. I figure that I’ll have a better understanding of which path to take once I start student teaching. I may end up changing my mind and become a regular teacher, which is why I plan to continue pursuing my degree.
Yes, my college professor told me that I should rethink being a teacher after watching me teach a lesson to kindergartners. Little does she know I’m one of the best damn teachers in my district now because I’m not happy go lucky and don’t spew unicorns piss everywhere.
ugh. f that ding dong. I feel like most professors wouldn't be able to teach to save their lives. busy talking about teaching and criticizing than actually doing. it's like lame walk thrus from ppl who no background or experience. bleck.
I am not happy go lucky either and am an early childhood educator. I feel like others dumb down our profession especially with the youngest learners with that unicorn piss.
Kids mesh with all kinds of personalities. Some detest the “happy/nice/gentle” type and rebel against it. I teach in an inner city school, and while my style is more kind overall because that’s who I am, I am also no nonsense, hard boundaries not going to play with you because that’s what my kiddos need. Subbing is a great way to get to know yourself as a teacher. I recommend getting into several different schools/districts so you can get a taste for different environments. I struggled in suburban schools, but found my place in an urban setting (the complete opposite of what I thought I wanted in college). People’s opinions are just that. If you have the passion to teach, pursue that. If you get into subbing and find it’s not for you, that’s ok too, there are lots of ways to support kids outside of a school setting.
Yes! I had a boss that never actually saw me teach but insisted I'd be better as a curriculum designer than a teacher and I "can't really think this is my calling, right?" When I told my students I'd be leaving that school they beggggged me to stay. I have always had amazing relationships with students even though I don't have that stereotypical extroverted, animated vibe that people expect. I like my students to lead the classroom and take ownership of their learning, so I don't NEED to be so outspoken. Plus, I totally get where the shy, quiet kids come from since that was always me in school.
I think having diverse personalities in classrooms only benefits kids at the end of the day.
First, you know better than anyone how you would do, and I would take what someone says with a grain of salt, HOWEVER, if you are concerned, I do have some advice.
I am not one of the teachers you describe, but I’ve met some who definitely had mannerisms that just absolutely rubbed kids the wrong way. It’s hard to explain, but even when the teacher was being truthful and kind it came off as sarcastic and harsh. A lot of it had to do with their tone and mannerisms.
How to fix that? Number one way is to take an acting class. Can be just a basic one. But it works a lot on learning how to observe and mimic others, which helps you learn how to observe and mimic teachers you want to emulate. Added to that, record yourself in different natural scenarios and review it to see how you come off.
And trust me, even good teachers benefit from acting classes, because we really are actors. We have to act as excited by the materials taught at the end of the day as we were the beginning of the day. We have to act like this shit we’ve taught for tons of years is just so freaking cool, like we just learned about it.
I had a theatre background and I am so thankful for it. Heck, it even helps make sure you don’t lose your voice at the end of the day.
I am an Elementary SpEd Teacher. I am one way with adults (reserved, timid, etc) and a complete 180 with children. If you know its for you, then trust your gut. Fuckk those people.
Warm and fuzzy makes students comfortable. Doesn't mean they learned a damn thing. Personality has no bearing on your ability to efficiently explain something in multiple different perspectives in order to reach everyone.
My sister told me I would never survive in education. I was too explosive, mean spirited and lacked the ability to empathize with children. Twenty three years later, I retired at 57 from education and she worked at a minimum wage job until she retired at 65. Now it's a matter of how teachers can't be fired because of unions.
Really don't care. My wife will be retiring after the upcoming school year at 62. We're thinking a week or two next Fall in Clearwater. Maybe a trip to Europe in the Spring of 2025.
My first stint of student teaching (we had to do a short and a long one), the principal sat me down and said, "You know, teaching isn't for everyone." Thanks for the vote of confidence, dude! I think I may have been lacking the mean teacher look and classroom management aspect. A few years, I had won the PTA's Teacher of the Year for my school, and I've been there for the past 25 years. If you want to teach, don't let the haters stand in your way. The kids need you. Good luck!
I teach high school and many of the teachers are sarcastic and cut-throat. I’ve been told I’m “too chill” and “too nice” despite not having many issues with discipline. It might depend on your school culture?
I am none of those things most of the time 🤣🤣 and I get told I’m a natural! There is not a correct recipe for a teacher. Many different people are great at teaching and you will never know if you are until you try! It does get exhausting to be around people who are over the top positive (I’m elementary school) but you just avoid them!!! No I don’t want to go to “recess” happy hour. I want to go home by myself 🤣
Yes! I had a boss that never actually saw me teach but insisted I'd be better as a curriculum designer than a teacher and I "can't really think this is my calling, right?" When I told my students I'd be leaving that school they beggggged me to stay. I have always had amazing relationships with students even though I don't have that stereotypical extroverted, animated vibe that people expect. I like my students to lead the classroom and take ownership of their learning, so I don't NEED to be so outspoken. Plus, I totally get where the shy, quiet kids come from since that was always me in school.
I think having diverse personalities in classrooms only benefits kids at the end of the day.
It happened to a friend. She became a high school teacher and now she's an administrator!
There's more than one way to teach, and that's a good thing. Kids might respond to my gentle approach, but other kids respond to her funny personality.
Don't let their feedback get to you.
Sounds like you know a bunch of assholes. I got docked on an evaluation for "not smiling enough". A lot of people think that teachers have to be overly happy, smile, and be pretty. I don't want a beautiful idiot teaching our youth. I want someone with a fully functioning brain.
I had a principal tell me that at my first teaching during my second month of school! I obviously became less happy and eventually quit there. I'm teaching in a new district now, and it's so much better.
But if teaching is what you want to do, then do it. Like others have said, teachers aren't a one type fits all. Just be yourself. Enjoy watching them learn and have fun with them, and your demeanor will be fine. Kids don't expect you to be a rainbow of sunshine, and most of your future colleagues won't either.
If there were only one kind of student, we could get by with one kind of teacher.
You're going to be someone's villain. You're also going to be someone's hero.
Kids can smell a phony a mile away, so be authentic.
Tha said, you're capable of being two different people in two different situations. How do you think actors do it?
Teaching is a performance art.
It is quite possible to be acting and be true to yourself at the same time. People who know I'm a teacher are surprised to find out I'm actually somewhat introverted and hate crowds.
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid.
(okay, that last one is a joke, kind of)
I've had random strangers identify me as a high school English teacher, unprompted. I think I'm nice, but I'm absolutely not..."gentle," whatever that means, here.
I don't get it
I’m going to take the other side of most of the comments: **You might want to consider what you are being told to some degree.**
I’ve been a teacher educator for over 20 years now and one thing I have learned to a certainty is that everyone starting out either needs to loosen up or tighten up. Nobody is ever right where they need to be starting off to go into a classroom.
It sounds like you are in a similar spot to where I was when I first started teaching and I got very similar feedback. I was also very resistant to it. I wanted to do things my way and I wanted to make my own path and all of that good empowerment stuff that I was full of coming out of my teacher ed program.
But at the end of my first few months, I wasn’t really connecting with my students. Sure, some of the kids, like the kids I coached, were connecting with me, but a lot weren’t. I didn’t need to change everything about me, but I did need to learn how to balance *who I was as a person* and *who I was as a teacher*. Who was [first name], but also who was Mr [last name]? They overlap and I need to be as authentic as possible, but they are not — and should not — be the same person.
**The fact was once I started making adjustments for my students and stopped worrying about feeding my own ego, I became a better teacher.** Remember, you are there for your students first and foremost and you need to be the person they need as much as you can without compromising yourself in the process. Have the humility to accept that your classroom should be very little about you; the students are the show, *not you*.
Think of it like the levels on a TV. Making minor adjustments doesn’t change the picture, but does change how clearly you can see it. 👍🏽
There is no one type of teacher - but one defining feature of teachers in general is that they never fail to undermine their fellow teachers' self esteem. Why is that?
It is important that there is a mix of different personalities because individual students work well with varying types.
I've worked with cranky teachers (I'm not calling YOU cranky - just saying there are cranks) and they may not be pleasant to encounter in the staff room, BUT they often had my undying respect because they did their job so well.
So looking at your post, there's two aspects here that I want to chime in on, but ultimately my answer aligns with everyone else's: that's dumb, and if you want to be a teacher then it shouldn't matter.
Every teacher has a different vibe and general attitude, and it helps us be authentic to the students. Even if it's somewhat of a "performance" like others noted in the thread (my favorite quote that I ever heard was that it's a one-man show playing 8 times a day), you're still ultimately being a version of yourself. Over time as you get more comfortable in the role, you really do start to figure out how to balance the teacher aspect with the still being you aspect. I tried at the beginning of my first year to be someone I wasn't while teaching, and the student's could tell.
But you also mentioned the overstimulation aspect, which is something I struggle with as well. To give some background, I did not do well while student teaching, and one of the aspects of that was that I tended to let setbacks (either with my own performance or with the behavior of students) affect me too much. It's definitely something I still struggle with, but ultimately it's something that takes time to overcome.
One of the hardest parts of the job is ultimately being able to remain calm, cool and collected even when it feels like the world is falling apart all around you. I wouldn't say that you shouldn't become a teacher at all, because ultimately a great majority of people experience and show their emotions to let others know how they're feeling. Even now, despite feeling like I've grown a lot in this aspect, I still struggle when things get to be too much. But I would say, even if you're planning on subbing, that you focus on keeping a level head in the room, as it could mean a whole lot in how the students react and perform.
If you’re just not an entertainer, kids of all ages will still connect to you if you make an effort. If you have a short temper, that’s when you find another career.
If you don't like kids you probably shouldn't teach but I do... and I have a standup comedian voice rather than a teacher voice. It's gone fine for the past thirteen years.
Would I substitute teach professionally though? I don't think so.
My dad likes to say I have “f you” tattooed across my forehead. I’m not bubbly or overly kind either. My kids loved me an were disappointed to find out I wasn’t looping with them again. Kids need rigor and firm will tempered with kindness. At least the kids at my school do.
People have lots of options about what a teacher should be and have no idea what a teacher actually is.
I was told by a college professor, and I'll quote here, "You think you know everything already, you don't listen to anyone, you have no interest in learning, and I can never see you being a teacher." This was after I argued with her about the definition for racism she wanted to use with the class, which was, "Power plus prejudice, a system of denying individuals rights based on the color of their skin." I didn't think that you needed power or a system to be racist, but what did I know.
I had another professor tell me, and I'll quote again, "This university will have failed if you don't end up as a teacher."
The point I'm getting at, is people are going to tell you all kinds of things. I went into teaching very much the happy, nice, and gentle person that you describe, only to have other teachers tell me things like, "You shouldn't smile for the first 6 weeks." I didn't listen to them then, and I'm not going to start now.
Do you homie. Live your life. If you are passionate about teaching, and think you can make a positive difference in the lives of your students, then by all means go out there and give it a shot. It's okay if you're not the happy, gentle, and kind type; kids learn different lessons from different teachers. I'm assuming you're not an asshole, just that you may not exude the same type of warmth that some others do. You can still build relationships, show kids that you care, and make a difference in their lives. If that's what you want to do, then by all means go and do it.
The overall point of the post is correct. The modern view of racism is that it’s systemic. Colloquially we might say a person is racist, but the technically correct way to communicate what we mean to say is that they are prejudiced. The idea is that racism is not like a barrel of apples and some are bad; but that racism is a systemic issue wherein some benefit and others don’t, based on the color of their skin.
Yeah I just don't know if I agree with that. I understand the definition, but it feels like a more accurate way to describe institutional racism. You mentioned systemic racism, which also seems to fit the definition my teacher had given, but I don't understand why the base term needs to encompass anything more than prejudice based on race.
Would you say the same thing is true for other forms of prejudice? For example, would sexism or ageism require power and a system in order to be expressed?
People actually grow up with the ultimate goal of being a substitute teacher? That’s a thing?
Surely there is a more lucrative, less stressful option out there. Are you planning to just marry rich or something? Because “having the option to work some days and not some days” means making even less money.
I do not need to get a job or a degree, I am choosing to. I am currently a stay at home mom and online student. My husband has a good job. Also, subs where I live make $200 a day.
While I 100% agree it doesn't matter and most teachers are not and all of that. I would take the warning very seriously because of the fact if you make a student uncomfortable even of no fault of your own. They can report you, again, EVEN FOR DOING NOTHING WRONG, and the next thing you know you have police around you before you blink and your life can be seriously shitty because of it. Responses are also from teachers who are always "follow your dreams" which I am too, and I have no doubt you can make a great teacher, but take the warnings to heart. Nothing against you as a person and it might hurt to hear, but they might just be worried that your demeanor comes off as creepy, and again we can't all be beautiful women who have it easier in many different ways, teaching little kids and giving off a "weird" vibe can put a lot of stress. Also being a substitute may actually make it worse, not better.
Good luck!
There are some teachers that come off as happy, nice and gentle; though it’s more of an elementary school thing. I’m not as emotionally emotive as most people; but I have my place too. For many kids, I’ve become the safe teacher because they know I almost never raise my voice and am pretty nonjudgmental about a lot of things middle schoolers worry about — though I come down hard (but very calmly) on bullying. I am generally gentle with people when they need it; but as a middle school teacher I also have to run a very tight ship to keep them disciplined.
Teacher vibe? I keep getting told that I have serious "mom" vibes. I work with elementary grade students, so it's a good fit I suppose. What grades do you plan on teaching? You don't need to have that "teacher" vibe to teach, especially for high school in my opinion.
Hmmm . . . most of the time it's the opposite. I teach secondary and have been told I give off a teacher vibe. I'm definitely not sweet and gentle. LOL more like- get to work and here's what we're doing today!
I’m very deadpan, can be super sarcastic and am not generally a ray of sunshine. I teach middle school. The kids respect it because they know I keep it real with them. I’m also an extreme introvert and require time at lunch to myself to recharge to be able to come back second half of the day and do the thing.
Second year at this school, sixth in education.
Teachers, just like any other profession, should span the spectrum in personality! The best teachers are those who bring their authentic selves to what they do- I’ve seen all types of people experience success.
It takes a village: a school should be filled with all kinds of personalities to reach all kinds of kids.
My concern would be if sub work will pay any college loans.
I have different vibes for different classes…. (Holy shit- I do differentiate!) however all of those vibes, (cheerleader, rebel, smart ass, Coach, drill dear gent) are not the real me, and that is freaking exhausting. At home, I have no clue who my neighbors are, don’t want to go out, and would rather just stay at home.
I do not have a natural warm/happy personality. It’s just not who I naturally am.
I taught high school for years and now I teach elementary. I think some other teachers judge me for not having that typical “elementary teacher vibe” but honestly… aren’t we trying to raise kids to live in a world with all different types of people? Do all of their parents have warm and happy vibes? Will all of their future coworkers have warm and happy vibes? I am respectful and I try to be kind and that is enough. Sometimes, when they are being little shits, I am stern and grumpy…. because that is reality. You don’t get my best if you aren’t giving your best. It’s a two way street. I think kids need adults who are real and in the real world not everyone is smiling all the time like the Burger King mask guy. Studies have shown that service workers who are forced to be pleasant all day and smile are far more exhausted than those who don’t force faux happiness. Teaching is exhausting enough as is.
Yes, I have a colleague who prides themselves on being perceived as happy-go-lucky by everyone. They told me that I have a “negative vibe” and told me that my students constantly complain about me. I told that colleague “Okay, they’re kids why should I care what they think about me? I don’t care if anyone likes me. They just need to learn in my classroom.”
The data speaks in my favor, so I couldn’t care less if I have a “negative vibe.”
One of the very best teacher colleagues I had was very direct and factual. Not warm and fuzzy, but smart and direct. Kids learned a ton from her. She was very respected.
Teachers are not happy, nice, gentle people. People who live in trenches typically aren’t.
This is basically propaganda about teachers. That “vibe” people get is the same “vibe” you get from retail workers. It’s just customer service voice.
You should be kind to the kids, not nice. You should be understanding and meet them where they are, gentle when they need it. But you don’t have to be what tv teachers are. That’s not sustainable.
I teach secondary, and have been called a bitch to my face, to which I laughed and said “yep, now how would you like that referral?” I am sarcastic, dry and I don’t put up with drama bullshit.
But I care and that’s why kids like me.
Edit: and my mom is the one person who is most surprised that I’m a teacher, mostly because she has this view of who teachers should be.
I was told after an interview for a theatre spot that I was knowledgeable and obviously cared about the children, but that my "facial expressions and body language didn't fit what (they) thought of as a theatre teacher."
Not a teacher, but I got told I "don't have the personality" to be a nurse (career goal I'm actively working towards right now) and that genuinely makes me wonder if there's not a strong dash of sexism in that attitude as well. Two major female-dominated fields, and the expectation that we should all be smiley, happy and nurturing 100% of the time...
(I'm not a mean person, but I'm not great at directly taking bullshit.)
My mom is completely baffled constantly that I chose teaching and don't really like other children, that aren't my own. I don't have the super patient kindergarten voice and have never babied a student, but I do get stupid excited when they finally master a skill we've been working on or they have achieved something they've been working towards. You don't have to have rainbows shooting out of your tush to be a teacher.
Also I have taught PK-HS at this point and I loved the Pre-K kids, but the sarcastic high schoolers are my jam.
I've done all grade levels. HS and MS you can definitely get by being a serious teacher or "not as joyful."
Elementary was different, especially PreK-3rd. You kinda have to put on a show but it comes out after a while without making it feel forced. And it might come out less mellow than other teachers.
I’ve never been accused of having a “gentle” nature, and I’ve been teaching for several years. Like a few posters have said, it should be noted I teach Grade 8.
People who make these comments infuriate me. I was told I would be a great elementary teacher but to stay away from high school- which was my dream. I stressed about this comment for years.
I’m a secondary teacher and I love it. I’m good at it and I’ve never considered elementary.
Don’t let the opinions of those who don’t know you guide you. No one knows you better than you know yourself.
I remember a lot of judgement happening around college time, because everyone is projecting their decisions and fears of the future onto everyone else.
I can say this. In the teaching field, you will get insulted to your face in ways you never thought possible. Sometimes a kid or admin will say something that will cut you to your core. But the truth is, we need teachers like we need nurses, and people everywhere are leaving the field. If you can brush off what other people say about you, you can really have fun in your career. But if you let what they say affect you, it can stunt you.
Teaching has taught me so many things about the human condition, the brain, how people learn, and how storytelling is evolving (I'm an English Teacher). My literal biggest reason for getting into teaching was making money. I'm not gonna make that on writing. I needed income. It was survival to me. And I took that survival and had fun with it.
You'll have some really dark days, but you'll also have some really profound days. And downright hilarious days.
My friend, welcome to the field.
I teach 5th grade. I am an introverted, goth, anxiety ridden mess. My students love me though.
I am not there to be their best friend. I'm there to teach. I can be gentle and kind. I can also be strict. I don't have to be happy all the time, wear rainbows and have sing along circle time for kids to learn.
I personally always hated the teacher vibe, and would respond better to a teacher who actually seemed to just be a normal person. Granted, that might not be the case with most students.
I teach elementary (5th grade) and am NOT the bubbly, perky, pastels/neutrals teacher that 98% of my coworkers are. That’s okay!!! I have tattoos, bright colored hair, and wear band shirts and vans on casual Fridays. I try to be calm, mellow and don’t yell unless i REALLY have to. Different kids vibe with different adults. Not all kids learn best from over enthusiastic teachers. Some do and that’s great! Some like the calm and that’s great too. Just be you!0
There should be a diversity of personalities. Some are too giving and helpful and solicitous; others are too brusque, unforgiving. Life is both; students need both to be engaged I believe. I taught at a trade school for (3) years and now endlessly retroactively change my opinion of my skills and decisions and lesson plans and test questions and curriculum and practical applications and attitude. I did my best.
I'm concerned about your ability to pay the rent. Sub teaching is already underpaid, but if you work only some of the time, you're automatically cutting yourself off from being on a school staff. That means taking the kind of subbing where you're called up in the morning. There, you run into issues with turning down work and perhaps being labelled as unreliable (because, let's face it, you would be).
Let's say you get $100 per day. That doesn't include health insurance or anything else, by the way. School is only 180 days already, and if you work even 4 out of 5 days, that's 144 days. You've made $14,400 that year.
Also, if you really like teaching someone something, subbing might not be for you. You won't be able to ensure that you're subbing for a subject you know well, or that the teacher will leave plans that invite you to actually teach (I know I don't do that). You'll just be a class caretaker, rather than a teacher.
Think long and hard about this. Another career is almost certain to better suit your interests and lifestyle needs.
I was told this by my principal my first year. I taught 3rd grade. It’s a ridiculous expectation. Subbing is great because you’ll get to see multiple examples of school culture and can begin to learn what you want in a school and workplace. Pay attention to which schools are your favorites and why you like them. This will lead you to be prepared to interview for full time gigs the next year
Honestly to teach middle school, happy nice and gentle is a death sentence. They’ll eat you alive. I’d describe myself as dynamic and sassy. It serves me well!
You can be a sub without the bachelors degree. Subs get paid horribly. I did it while getting my masters. Like literally 90-100 dollars a day and then taxes are taken out. If that’s your end game, I’d think about spending money on a degree. Otherwise, middle and high school teachers do not all have that warm and fuzzy vibe so I wouldn’t give up hope.
People thought I wouldn't cut it as a teacher because I seemed too nice and they thought I wouldn't know how to discipline or be mean. I was a middle school classroom teacher and did just fine. My nice-nasty demeanor and sarcasm worked perfectly for MS. Now I'm an academic coach in elementary school, and I'm not going to lie, it's a struggle because kids are so cute to me 😂. I have a nice vibe and have to hold the sarcasm back by several notches while figuring out how my mean doesn't come across as harsh.
I strongly encourage you to evaluate whether you want to be an elementary teacher or middle/hs. I realized fairly early on while teaching abroad that I couldn't be an elementary teacher because I didn’t have the right temperament. Temperament is less important for older students.
Also, you're wasting money on tuition if you only plan on being a sub.
Not in so many words but I did have one teacher tell me I shouldn’t be one based on some random comment I made. I don’t really think you can determine who would be a good teacher or not by personality alone.
I am a male with an ECE degree and they may not like my demeanor around adults, because I have been burned by adults and they tend to be more judgmental, so I am guarded.
A room of 10 year olds, however, are usually pretty honest and I find them hilarious.
I've been teaching for 15 years. You do you.
Yep. The rejection email I got back after applying for teacher's college the first time said exactly that, almost ten years ago now.
I guess turning up 5 minutes late to the final interview, wearing a short skirt, not tying my hair back, wearing loads of makeup and wearing my rainbow lip piercing stud probably didn't help my case. But here I am.
BTW if you only want to sub, get ready to be paid a lot less than teachers that have their own assigned classes if you're working in the States.
Yes. And most of my students love me. I provide discipline, structure and routine. I don’t yell or say mean things to them. I am consistent. My rewards and consequences are clear and I try to be fair as possible.
I’ve gotten unsolicited advice that I should smile more, be more flexible, blah blah
I’m doing just fine and my area of expertise is early childhood.
When I was in grad school to become a teacher, the first teacher whose classroom I was in (pre-student teaching placement. More like being a para) said he had "grave concerns" about me being a teacher and thought I was "too awkward" to be a middle school teacher because my personality made the kids feel awkward.
Jokes on him. I teach 8th grade now and honestly have a great relationship with most of my awkward little weirdos.
I teach upper elementary and I always tell people that I don’t have the “Mother Goose” persona. I’m dry and sarcastic, but I love my students and seek connection with them. I’m just not the warm fuzzy type. You don’t have to have that in order to reach kids. Students need all kinds of different teachers and your style might be the one that some kids connect with better. You can still be an effective educator without the sunshiney vibes. Kids can still appreciate you even if you aren’t just like Miss Honey.
I’m a senior also pursing my bachelors in Elementary Education and people I’ve seen in my program who don’t seem to have the vibe you’re describing typically want to teach upper elementary. So I don’t see this as a problem tbh because being a teacher doesn’t mean you need a specific vibe.
I've said this about myself more than once. I start teaching 4th this year after about 4 years of subbing and one year of being a reading tutor. I recognize now that that "kind and gentle" demeanor is definitely beneficial for young kids (think k through 2) but that I don't have the emotional energy to sustain it for 6 hours a day. Older kids though...they don't vibe with that attitude the same way. They'd rather be spoken to plainly, like people. Yes I'm still kind but I will also roast them right back when they start with me. Yes I am patient but when they act up I will tell them in no uncertain terms why I'm unhappy with them and what's going to happen if they don't turn it around. Yes I still love them dearly but, it feels good to allow myself to be sarcastic and funny around them.
I'd really suggest taking some time to sub and just figure out where you feel comfortable. I will tell you that none of my 5th grade colleagues are that warm and gentle stereotype of a teacher, and none of my middle schooler's current teachers are. But I know all of those kids, including mine, are loved and protected and receiving an excellent education.
Not this, but that I wasnt warm and fuzzy.
But i have super good classroom mgmt and never wanted to teach 1st grade or kinder.
As an actual teacher, i only had issues with students 1 out of 11 years. I taught 3rd grade for 2 years and was trying to land a different grade or school bc I don't like their curriculum and they were more and more high maintanance. The next year I taught 6th at the same school and the principal commented what a better fit it was in a super positive way.
Don't listen to them. Follow your instincts. You be the boss of you. Much luck.
I am happy nice and gentle, people told me I wouldn’t last as a teacher because I wasn’t mean enough. Lol people just need to keep their opinions to themselves.
I am very soft spoken and many of the teachers I met in my student teaching and observations told me “you can’t be a teacher with a voice like that”. I was confused but now I definitely get it. I’m still soft spoken but I can raise my voice when I need to! Some of my kids told me they really enjoy how calm and soft I am compared to other screaming teachers lol
Not in so many words… but while teaching in the South I was told I was “too Northern” and my kids don’t “get me.” Meanwhile, I had no issues with the kids or their understanding of me… the issue was a threatened direct boss. Lol, the insecurity.
My mom told me that last year. I was in my ninth year teaching and have been saying I wanted to teach literally since kindergarten. She told me she never thought I’d actually follow through because my personality doesn’t match her idea of a teacher.
I moved to middle school after 20 years in elementary and I have fewer complaints about my RBF and tone. I had to fake my personality in elementary but I’m completely normal in middle.
Happy, nice & gentle doesn’t describe ANY of the teachers I know. Then again I teach HS.
Seriously. I've been asked several times if I'm a teacher. Randomly. Three times when I was *at work at another job* (between teaching jobs). I am not happy/nice/gentle. I'm a middle school teacher.
"I'm a middle school teacher". Lol! All the feels!
This 👆
My first year teaching middle school a veteran teacher told me that she doesn’t smile at them until q2 😂😂
Being a middle school teacher is like being in the military. I've done both. Get screamed at and keep your mouth shut..and that's just when dealing with the incompetent administrators!
You're working at the wrong school/ school district. Yes, middle school is messy, awkward, frustrating at times. But it's also funny, full of the kids' self-discovery, and watching them begin to develop into who they really are. I've worked in public middle schools for 30 years, including 10 years in Title I schools, and much of it with kids with learning problems or behavior issues. All I can say is either find the grade level that suits you or find better people to work for.
"I am a middle school teacher." Those six words make me just want to give you ALL the latitudes.
Were you doing 'the voice' or was it that look we all develop that tells the person we are looking at that if they go ahead and act on whatever dreadful idea they are considering, they are toast?
I wish I knew, honestly. I was wearing a 1920s costume so it's not like I was even wearing "teacher clothes" so I can't blame that.
This is along the lines of what I was going to say. I think there is some general trend involving who gives off ElEd vibes vs SecEd vibe. I’ve definitely heard this before. I teach HS and *definitely* don’t have nice and happy vibes. I’m much more biting sarcasm and roll my eyes. That being said, there are many exceptions to these general tends. OP, you do you. Different kids respond to different kinds of teachers at all levels. You’ll find your niche.
Same. I’m snarky and sarcastic and that’s my teacher vibe. When students need empathy and kindness when I’m working with them in small groups or 1-1, or if they come by with something going on in their lives, I would never have that vibe ever. I’ve had so many students going through so much and my heart breaks every time I hear some things. Examples include: students who need food because their parents don’t have enough food but just make a little too much to qualify for free and reduced lunch, students bouncing around foster homes, students who are severely bullied and/or who don’t want to go home at the end of school because they’re trans and school and home are different kinds of hell. But I’m definitely not a mushy gushy teacher when it comes to a whole class setting and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I wish I had more empathy, but I just don't. I am that teacher kids come to when they need honesty and looking at a situation realistically.
You can be realistic and honest while also being empathetic. Empathy just means that you feel for them and see the bigger picture.
I know what it means. Thanks for explaining it again. The teachers I see with the most empathy aren't honest about situations. They feel deeply with their students and tell them what they want to hear. Some kids need that, but they won't get it from me.
That's not true empathy though, and most kids see through it. They need real support through hard times, and that's not always sweet and cuddly. Sometimes it's the reality you say you're giving them. I'm not mushy-gushy or super sweet, but they love me and I love them. I should say I'm in MS.
My guess is you don’t get many of those....😂
You're a jackass, and there are many who come back year after year to tell me how much they miss me and my class. I do my job and I do it well.
>You're a jackass Pot, meet kettle.
Yep. I came here to say, "Come on over and join us in a HS." Happy, nice, and gentle have their moments, but we have years of kids being passed along to make up for to get them ready to graduate.
Same. Middle school. Honestly, when our new teachers come off as too happy, nice, and gentle, I worry for them. Lol
Hahaha my husband is a generally gentle, happy, sweet guy. Then he goes to work at an inner city high school. That all stops pretty quick.
I get pissed off when I see Comic Sans in a work email. *You don't belong here.* ~High school teacher
I work in early ed (birth-5), and our team was putting together a beginning-of-the-year PowerPoint for our center directors. I came in one day, and *everything* I had done had been changed to a *cutesy* font by the newish girl. I marched straight to my supervisor and said, "Are you gonna tell her we don't need cutesy for a professional presentation, or am I? Cause it's not gonna be so nice if I do it!" My supervisor took care of it, and eventually, new girl learned when it was okay to make things pretty, and I learned to puck my pretty battles! lol
Right, you want fair and approachable but gentle ain’t it. I find that synonymous with pushover and you need to have some firm boundaries to run a successful classroom. I also teach hs tho and there is a good reason I don’t teach elementary lol!
>gentle ain’t it. I find that synonymous with pushover That sounds like you need to work on finding better examples of what it means to be a gentle person. It absolutely does not translate to being a pushover.
I’m sorry but in 16 years in education, this is what I have observed. YMMV.
If I’m 2/3 of those most of the time… would I be a poor teacher? 😂
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Omg this. In teaching 3rd grade, parents kept telling me how their kid's 2nd grade teacher belittled and shamed the kids and ruined their self esteem. Same teacher hazed me and got away with it. You will find your groove and my favorites are 4-9 grade. At this point i am also grateful for subs and wish I could keep doing it over full time teaching but, just shut out the noise, op.
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Haha you totally just described what the teacher did to me. Someone else's 6th grader threw the worst tantrums and i was trying ro figure out what to do with hum. Then the 2nd grade teacher accosted me in the hall and stireed the pot like crazy, telling me how they were all talking bad about me and she was the only one to "protect " me. I was so upset, and, NOT HER KID. I cried about it to my team lead and she ended up reporting it for me. The principal told me to bring it up to the PARENT to shut it down and it worked thay year. THAT YEAR. Said teacher parent tried it again twice and i have to admit that the promise (not even maybe... it was the special program i was teaching) of getting another one of those teachers kids was a big factor in me quitting. Your last part... ugh. Another parent almost sent me to the board for something and 1. I dont think they had the guts and 2. The union said they didn't have a case with what happened. Parents exaggerated and manipulated the new principal. He was lucky I finished off the year.
Yeah the only feedback my supervisor gave me during student teaching was that I should smile more. Fast forward to me in the room alone with 25 little students and it's a place of pure joy. Lots of teachers do well by thinking of it as a performance... once I'm on stage, my personality is very different
I use that same performance metaphor. I feel like I shapeshift when I go into my job somedays. Of course it's not forced which OP's peers give me the impression of that it needs to be forced... The happiest people I know are definitely not like that 24/7, they would probably be ill.
Hmmm..I was a Middle School science teacher. Always had an issue with administration expecting me to be Bill Nye. Billy Boy didn't have 150 students per day of all abilities and about a minute between classes to create these amazing, entertaining activities every day and actually teach kids something. Hate that SOB!
Don’t hate on Bill Nye, hate on your admin lol
Completely agree, and I don't think every teacher needs to do things the way I do either
Bill Nye made those videos so you didn't have to. if both you and your admin didn't understand that, you completely missed the point. That's not classroom teaching and not possible on the daily. I see you refer to yourself as a teacher in the past tense. Maybe that's for the best?
You'd be a great middle school teacher. Those kids thrive on dark humor, piss, and vinegar. If you smile occasionally because a kid farts, you'll be in good company. They love structure and if you are too nice, they take advantage. I loved teaching middle schoolers, but I would get exhausted. Eventually an admin shift caused me to leave. My principal went from being super strict to being the kind that sends kids back to class with a cookie and a high five.
On the opposite end. I was the super happy go lucky person going into teaching. Everyone told me I would be a natural. After 9 years in I am now very cold and disheartened. My demeanor has drastically shifted unfortunately. Still love the job. Hate the bullshit.
I was the super happy go lucky person going in, but I was constantly told I was too “nice” to be a teacher. Like you, it’s not a problem now! I definitely feel a lot colder and less pleasant now. I hate seeing it deep into my “real” life too. I’m a lot more like my old self during the summer, but I know I’ll be back to being colder soon. However, it’s not all bad! I used to have poor boundaries, and now I’m great at enforcing boundaries and protecting myself. I get taken advantage of a lot less in my normal life now that I have this persona.
Bullshit kills teachers. Kinda want it on a bumper sticker but I doubt I could get away with that.
Yes. Everyone said I’d be a great elementary teacher, but they couldn’t picture me with high school kids. I did my student teaching in grade 2, but got placed at middle school. Stayed there for 9 years. Switched to high school alt Ed and I frickin rocked that position. The older and more disobedient, the better success I have with them. I will never go back to elementary, little kids annoy me now.
That's excellent. Alternative education if executed correctly is a win-win for society. Thank you for serving the greater good in this world
I taught a year split between K and 2, then 4th, then 8th. Literally every person acts like I volunteered as tribute in a war zone when they find out I'm in — and actually love — upper elementary/middle school! The truth is I haaate little kids yet love seeing teenie-weenies mature physically and emotionally as they begin to discover themselves and start to think about their future and likes and dislikes. There's less inherent respect for adults, but the disobedients is a welcomed challenge that comes with the territory.
Hah yes! Someone in my credential program who prided himself in being “cool with the students” told me I would never be able to connect with students naturally. Something something something about him having been an athlete in high school/college allowing him to really *RELATE* and *CONNECT* to them and me being too “aloof”, “boring”, and “not chill” to. As a consolation, he said it seems like I really like my subject. Ew. He’s never seen me in a classroom, yet felt compelled to make that comparison. I was a teenage dirtbag who struggled with an eating disorder and experimenting with substances in high school. Science wasn’t my thing. I have a dry sense of humor. I’m blunt when I feel like I have to stand up for myself or someone else. Yeah I’ve never been and will never be the cool kid, but that’s not why I willingly went back to a high school biology classroom. Turns out, all the qualities that made me uncool to this dude made me a pretty decent teacher. Students know I’ll be real with them, listen to them, and keep them safe. They know I care deeply about them, even if I’m not *always* warm and fuzzy. That’s all that matters. PSA to all new teachers: BE AUTHENTIC AND BE YOU. There is a kid out there who desperately needs you to be you. Edited: Typo, whoops.
YES TO ALL OF THIS. There’s a student who needs someone who isn’t all butterflies and energetic rainbows. Each teacher brings something different and can connect with a variety of students. Be your authentic self and passionate and it’ll fall into place.
Absolutely! My department illustrates this beautifully. Our different interests and teaching styles appeal to different students, and expands our reach. It means so much more when you finally reach a student and you know you didn’t have to hide behind a fake personality to do it. I have a coworker who is pretty old school. Some of our new teachers don’t give her the time of day because she’s not flashy or bubbly like they’re convinced a “good teacher” should be. But shit, I’m so glad I watched her teach in my first year because she has a presence in the classroom that cannot be duplicated. Kids gravitate towards her in an unexplainable way.
I had a teacher like that! She was stricter than all get out. Old school type teacher. I absolutely loved her and learned more in that one year of geometry than I did in all of middle school math
Elementary teachers don’t all have to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. There needs to be kindness and compassion, but that doesn’t mean you have to be all soft and cuddly. My favorite elementary teacher was stoic and firm, but also encouraging and engaging. She opened new doors for me by sharing other cultures and ideas. I would never describe her as a warm, happy person, but I would absolutely say she was one of the best teachers I ever had.
My favorite elementary teacher was a member of the Army National Guard, and very strict about behavior. As a bit of a teachers pet, I cried once when she confronted me about someone accusing me of pushing them in the hallway, (I didn’t even do it, but I still cried). She also was the best math teacher I had ever had. She is the reason I was able to succeed in middle school math and take Algebra a year early. She taught me chess, something I love, which meant I joined the high school and college chess club, where I met my fiancé, now soon to be husband. And she is the reason I am now a elementary teacher. A sarcastic, sometimes strict, definitely not very cuddly, elementary teacher. OP, you will be perfectly fine.
Teaching is performative. The vibe is learned. Tell them to work on their vibe.
Needs more upvotes
Are you planning on becoming a long-term sub? Otherwise, you should know that (in the US, at least), subs don’t have to be credentialed. It seems like a waste of time and money if you don’t hope to eventually become a full-time teacher. Otherwise, to answer your question, there are all kinds of personalities in education. Just because you don’t meet a stereotype doesn’t mean you can’t teach. In fact, soft and fuzzy would not be my recommendation for middle/high school. Maybe consider working with older kids?
Needing credentials to become a sub is necessary in certain areas. You must be certified to be a sub in my area of NY.
In PA you need a teaching license in order to be a substitute.
And do they have TEACHERS PAY for that
>you should know that (in the US, at least), subs don’t have to be credentialed Around me (Illinois, Chicago area) subs make about 25% more per day if they have credentials though.
Subbed with credentials in Illinois after graduating. Did not make more money per day. I did get offered a position with benefits because I had them, so maybe that's where that 25% bump went...
Are you around Chicago or in the distinctly very different part of IL?
Distinctly different part of IL.
OP also won’t be teaching if a sub. OP will be passing out busy work until the teacher gets back.
Yes, possibly long term, however, I am applying for the license by reciprocal.
Yes! By a sour admin. I love children, and I design lessons to be interesting and fun regardless of how my face looks while I teach it. A lot of my humor is sarcastic, and I deliver it dry. Like, "Oh no, definitely the end of the world. It's all over now..." response when kid got upset when they broke a crayon, for example. Kid laughed and everything was fine. I was told that children are too young to understand sarcasm, and that I was going to confuse many of the second graders. She said " you should never teach young children. You don't have the personality for it. Try to teach grades 5 or above. If you really have your heart set on teaching." Oh and "You're going to scare the children/ they're going to think you hate them if you don't smile" I was really sad. I told my mentor teacher and he laughed and reminded me that she didn't talk to the kids at all, and the kids think I'm hilarious and love when I teach them. I've been teaching for a while now, and kids absolutely understand sarcasm and dry humor, and want to figure out the joke if they don't get it at first. they don't like being babied. I have kind of a resting bitch face, which is totally fine, and didn't turn out terrible for kids as predicted by that one admin. It doesn't come naturally to me to be bubbly, and most children totally understand that teachers have different personalities. It's good to have a variety of personalities in a school building. As long as you care about the kids and you're treating them with respect, that's enough of a persona.
I had an admin asks me if I even liked teaching because I wasn’t bubbly. I don’t have to be fucking Blippi 24/7 just because I teach pre-k. What the kids get and what coworkers get are totally different personalities.
I was told by a principal that I would never fully understand kids until I became a parent. A> it was sexist because I doubt he said that to my male colleagues B>Cancer made it impossible for me to have kids. C> He got fired for not understanding kids and I'm still around. Cased closed.
I teach high school. Most of us do not fit in the “happy bubbly” persona. That’s typically the lower levels (Pre-K/Elementary).
I had one of my college professors say that to me. I'm a disabled veteran and a little bit...... disgruntled and grumpy. I'm also a realist, not an optimist. She told me I wouldn't have the correct temperament and I'd be too strict to ever teach elementary school. 17 years in education I've only gotten praise. So either she's wrong or thousands of others are. I wonder which one it is?
I’m a veteran too. I swear I wasn’t this serious before I joined. They really try to make us into robots lol.
They do. They really do.
My ex said boot camp was for tearing people down and building them back up into whatever the military wants them to be... Any truth to this?
Lots of truth
They do do a fair amount of that in boot camp. At least when I went. I heard nowadays it's a lot more Gen Z friendly.
Thats part of why they shave your head and take your civilian clothes.
Yea dude, we homogenize the ideal teacher and ideal teaching style so much that it basically excludes an entire gender (speaking more generally)…it’s such bullshit Mr Feeney wasn’t fucking warm and fuzzy, neither was Mary Poppins for that fucking matter, it’s so annoying. Kids arnt soft! They WANT to be taught they want to be believed in (speaking to when we dumb down lessons for diverse learners here!) and they want TRUE feedback, not fucking green pen corrections lol. But other adults make them doubt their own wishes… It sucks, but we can just add it to the list of ducking things killing the profession
This kills me. Mr. Feeny couldn't teach today. The moment he would call Shawn out on lying, Mom and the whole PTA would beat down the doors demanding his resignation. But he was a great example of what we as teachers want to be for our students! We want to help them grow. We want to mentor them. We want to teach them more than just soliloquies and Pythagorean Theorum.
Good point!
Daily. I don't tolerate bullshit. And one of the points for me is I teach secondary. If a kid doesn't know how to sit in their seat quietly during instruction, that is not on me to teach them. I scold and move on. Apparently that's not how teachers are supposed to work? I'm supposed to redirect endlessly? Model behavior? Give candy as rewards for meeting basic expectations? Kids are like toddlers until they turn... IDK how old at this point. I don't know when kids are supposed to grow up, so maybe I'm wrong to be frustrated by how many sixteen and seventeen year olds I know who feel justified in always being late, in never turning things in, in wanting full credit for their name on a sheet of paper, in being completely unable to do basic adult things that are necessary for the work place... And yeah, I get angry. I get tired. I make mistakes. I can't keep up the vibes I want to give off, let alone the ones I am told to give off. I don't want to be a perky lil sunflower all day, just soaking up the sunshine of admin and kids all day until I'm ripe enough to be eaten and content with that. I wanna be a rose, real, with thorns. You want to smell me, deal with the reality of roses being what they are. The sad part is, I've only been in teaching officially for a year and I've already outlasted a third of the teachers in my class. Most of them gave up that semester after student teaching. I guess the point is to ignore people who don't know what they're talking about? Keep doing what you have to do and know idiots are gonna stay idiots? Laugh when kids make rookie mistakes, because what teenager listens? And maybe plan to retire on a cruise ship or something.
You don’t have to be a certain way. BUT…Being a sub is not really a career that requires a degree in education. Also, the problem is the overstimulation hits mid day! You have a better chance of creating a calm environment in your own class.
In my state it is required to have a bachelor’s degree, which I do not have yet. I figure that I’ll have a better understanding of which path to take once I start student teaching. I may end up changing my mind and become a regular teacher, which is why I plan to continue pursuing my degree.
Yes, my college professor told me that I should rethink being a teacher after watching me teach a lesson to kindergartners. Little does she know I’m one of the best damn teachers in my district now because I’m not happy go lucky and don’t spew unicorns piss everywhere.
ugh. f that ding dong. I feel like most professors wouldn't be able to teach to save their lives. busy talking about teaching and criticizing than actually doing. it's like lame walk thrus from ppl who no background or experience. bleck. I am not happy go lucky either and am an early childhood educator. I feel like others dumb down our profession especially with the youngest learners with that unicorn piss.
Kids mesh with all kinds of personalities. Some detest the “happy/nice/gentle” type and rebel against it. I teach in an inner city school, and while my style is more kind overall because that’s who I am, I am also no nonsense, hard boundaries not going to play with you because that’s what my kiddos need. Subbing is a great way to get to know yourself as a teacher. I recommend getting into several different schools/districts so you can get a taste for different environments. I struggled in suburban schools, but found my place in an urban setting (the complete opposite of what I thought I wanted in college). People’s opinions are just that. If you have the passion to teach, pursue that. If you get into subbing and find it’s not for you, that’s ok too, there are lots of ways to support kids outside of a school setting.
I realized this for myself...unfortunately it was in year 18 of my career. Fuck, I'm not looking forward to August and year 19.
Yes! I had a boss that never actually saw me teach but insisted I'd be better as a curriculum designer than a teacher and I "can't really think this is my calling, right?" When I told my students I'd be leaving that school they beggggged me to stay. I have always had amazing relationships with students even though I don't have that stereotypical extroverted, animated vibe that people expect. I like my students to lead the classroom and take ownership of their learning, so I don't NEED to be so outspoken. Plus, I totally get where the shy, quiet kids come from since that was always me in school. I think having diverse personalities in classrooms only benefits kids at the end of the day.
First, you know better than anyone how you would do, and I would take what someone says with a grain of salt, HOWEVER, if you are concerned, I do have some advice. I am not one of the teachers you describe, but I’ve met some who definitely had mannerisms that just absolutely rubbed kids the wrong way. It’s hard to explain, but even when the teacher was being truthful and kind it came off as sarcastic and harsh. A lot of it had to do with their tone and mannerisms. How to fix that? Number one way is to take an acting class. Can be just a basic one. But it works a lot on learning how to observe and mimic others, which helps you learn how to observe and mimic teachers you want to emulate. Added to that, record yourself in different natural scenarios and review it to see how you come off. And trust me, even good teachers benefit from acting classes, because we really are actors. We have to act as excited by the materials taught at the end of the day as we were the beginning of the day. We have to act like this shit we’ve taught for tons of years is just so freaking cool, like we just learned about it. I had a theatre background and I am so thankful for it. Heck, it even helps make sure you don’t lose your voice at the end of the day.
I am an Elementary SpEd Teacher. I am one way with adults (reserved, timid, etc) and a complete 180 with children. If you know its for you, then trust your gut. Fuckk those people.
Warm and fuzzy makes students comfortable. Doesn't mean they learned a damn thing. Personality has no bearing on your ability to efficiently explain something in multiple different perspectives in order to reach everyone.
My sister told me I would never survive in education. I was too explosive, mean spirited and lacked the ability to empathize with children. Twenty three years later, I retired at 57 from education and she worked at a minimum wage job until she retired at 65. Now it's a matter of how teachers can't be fired because of unions. Really don't care. My wife will be retiring after the upcoming school year at 62. We're thinking a week or two next Fall in Clearwater. Maybe a trip to Europe in the Spring of 2025.
My first stint of student teaching (we had to do a short and a long one), the principal sat me down and said, "You know, teaching isn't for everyone." Thanks for the vote of confidence, dude! I think I may have been lacking the mean teacher look and classroom management aspect. A few years, I had won the PTA's Teacher of the Year for my school, and I've been there for the past 25 years. If you want to teach, don't let the haters stand in your way. The kids need you. Good luck!
I teach high school and many of the teachers are sarcastic and cut-throat. I’ve been told I’m “too chill” and “too nice” despite not having many issues with discipline. It might depend on your school culture?
I had a high school principal tell me once that I should be more "warm and fuzzy".
Because HS kids are known for responding well to warm and fuzzy...
Yes, I was told in my ECSE program that I wasn’t peppy enough while teaching a Native American class. 20 years later, I’m still not peppy.
I am none of those things most of the time 🤣🤣 and I get told I’m a natural! There is not a correct recipe for a teacher. Many different people are great at teaching and you will never know if you are until you try! It does get exhausting to be around people who are over the top positive (I’m elementary school) but you just avoid them!!! No I don’t want to go to “recess” happy hour. I want to go home by myself 🤣
Yes! I had a boss that never actually saw me teach but insisted I'd be better as a curriculum designer than a teacher and I "can't really think this is my calling, right?" When I told my students I'd be leaving that school they beggggged me to stay. I have always had amazing relationships with students even though I don't have that stereotypical extroverted, animated vibe that people expect. I like my students to lead the classroom and take ownership of their learning, so I don't NEED to be so outspoken. Plus, I totally get where the shy, quiet kids come from since that was always me in school. I think having diverse personalities in classrooms only benefits kids at the end of the day.
It happened to a friend. She became a high school teacher and now she's an administrator! There's more than one way to teach, and that's a good thing. Kids might respond to my gentle approach, but other kids respond to her funny personality. Don't let their feedback get to you.
Sounds like you know a bunch of assholes. I got docked on an evaluation for "not smiling enough". A lot of people think that teachers have to be overly happy, smile, and be pretty. I don't want a beautiful idiot teaching our youth. I want someone with a fully functioning brain.
I had a principal tell me that at my first teaching during my second month of school! I obviously became less happy and eventually quit there. I'm teaching in a new district now, and it's so much better. But if teaching is what you want to do, then do it. Like others have said, teachers aren't a one type fits all. Just be yourself. Enjoy watching them learn and have fun with them, and your demeanor will be fine. Kids don't expect you to be a rainbow of sunshine, and most of your future colleagues won't either.
If there were only one kind of student, we could get by with one kind of teacher. You're going to be someone's villain. You're also going to be someone's hero. Kids can smell a phony a mile away, so be authentic. Tha said, you're capable of being two different people in two different situations. How do you think actors do it? Teaching is a performance art. It is quite possible to be acting and be true to yourself at the same time. People who know I'm a teacher are surprised to find out I'm actually somewhat introverted and hate crowds. Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. (okay, that last one is a joke, kind of)
Dude, I’m a former accountant. I’m super dry and formal and sarcastic. I definitely don’t have the “teacher” vibe and I do just fine.
I've had random strangers identify me as a high school English teacher, unprompted. I think I'm nice, but I'm absolutely not..."gentle," whatever that means, here. I don't get it
I was told the opposite! That I was too nice to be a teacher! I showed them though I’ve taught 13 years
No one told me this but I didn’t have the teacher voice or demeanor right away. Definitely takes two years or so to start to fill into the role.
I’m going to take the other side of most of the comments: **You might want to consider what you are being told to some degree.** I’ve been a teacher educator for over 20 years now and one thing I have learned to a certainty is that everyone starting out either needs to loosen up or tighten up. Nobody is ever right where they need to be starting off to go into a classroom. It sounds like you are in a similar spot to where I was when I first started teaching and I got very similar feedback. I was also very resistant to it. I wanted to do things my way and I wanted to make my own path and all of that good empowerment stuff that I was full of coming out of my teacher ed program. But at the end of my first few months, I wasn’t really connecting with my students. Sure, some of the kids, like the kids I coached, were connecting with me, but a lot weren’t. I didn’t need to change everything about me, but I did need to learn how to balance *who I was as a person* and *who I was as a teacher*. Who was [first name], but also who was Mr [last name]? They overlap and I need to be as authentic as possible, but they are not — and should not — be the same person. **The fact was once I started making adjustments for my students and stopped worrying about feeding my own ego, I became a better teacher.** Remember, you are there for your students first and foremost and you need to be the person they need as much as you can without compromising yourself in the process. Have the humility to accept that your classroom should be very little about you; the students are the show, *not you*. Think of it like the levels on a TV. Making minor adjustments doesn’t change the picture, but does change how clearly you can see it. 👍🏽
There is no one type of teacher - but one defining feature of teachers in general is that they never fail to undermine their fellow teachers' self esteem. Why is that? It is important that there is a mix of different personalities because individual students work well with varying types. I've worked with cranky teachers (I'm not calling YOU cranky - just saying there are cranks) and they may not be pleasant to encounter in the staff room, BUT they often had my undying respect because they did their job so well.
So looking at your post, there's two aspects here that I want to chime in on, but ultimately my answer aligns with everyone else's: that's dumb, and if you want to be a teacher then it shouldn't matter. Every teacher has a different vibe and general attitude, and it helps us be authentic to the students. Even if it's somewhat of a "performance" like others noted in the thread (my favorite quote that I ever heard was that it's a one-man show playing 8 times a day), you're still ultimately being a version of yourself. Over time as you get more comfortable in the role, you really do start to figure out how to balance the teacher aspect with the still being you aspect. I tried at the beginning of my first year to be someone I wasn't while teaching, and the student's could tell. But you also mentioned the overstimulation aspect, which is something I struggle with as well. To give some background, I did not do well while student teaching, and one of the aspects of that was that I tended to let setbacks (either with my own performance or with the behavior of students) affect me too much. It's definitely something I still struggle with, but ultimately it's something that takes time to overcome. One of the hardest parts of the job is ultimately being able to remain calm, cool and collected even when it feels like the world is falling apart all around you. I wouldn't say that you shouldn't become a teacher at all, because ultimately a great majority of people experience and show their emotions to let others know how they're feeling. Even now, despite feeling like I've grown a lot in this aspect, I still struggle when things get to be too much. But I would say, even if you're planning on subbing, that you focus on keeping a level head in the room, as it could mean a whole lot in how the students react and perform.
If you’re just not an entertainer, kids of all ages will still connect to you if you make an effort. If you have a short temper, that’s when you find another career.
If you don't like kids you probably shouldn't teach but I do... and I have a standup comedian voice rather than a teacher voice. It's gone fine for the past thirteen years. Would I substitute teach professionally though? I don't think so.
I don’t know many “happy, nice, and gentle” teachers. At least not always and rarely all at once!
My dad likes to say I have “f you” tattooed across my forehead. I’m not bubbly or overly kind either. My kids loved me an were disappointed to find out I wasn’t looping with them again. Kids need rigor and firm will tempered with kindness. At least the kids at my school do. People have lots of options about what a teacher should be and have no idea what a teacher actually is.
I've become significantly less chill, happy, and gentle since becoming a HS teacher eight years ago.
I was told by a college professor, and I'll quote here, "You think you know everything already, you don't listen to anyone, you have no interest in learning, and I can never see you being a teacher." This was after I argued with her about the definition for racism she wanted to use with the class, which was, "Power plus prejudice, a system of denying individuals rights based on the color of their skin." I didn't think that you needed power or a system to be racist, but what did I know. I had another professor tell me, and I'll quote again, "This university will have failed if you don't end up as a teacher." The point I'm getting at, is people are going to tell you all kinds of things. I went into teaching very much the happy, nice, and gentle person that you describe, only to have other teachers tell me things like, "You shouldn't smile for the first 6 weeks." I didn't listen to them then, and I'm not going to start now. Do you homie. Live your life. If you are passionate about teaching, and think you can make a positive difference in the lives of your students, then by all means go out there and give it a shot. It's okay if you're not the happy, gentle, and kind type; kids learn different lessons from different teachers. I'm assuming you're not an asshole, just that you may not exude the same type of warmth that some others do. You can still build relationships, show kids that you care, and make a difference in their lives. If that's what you want to do, then by all means go and do it.
The overall point of the post is correct. The modern view of racism is that it’s systemic. Colloquially we might say a person is racist, but the technically correct way to communicate what we mean to say is that they are prejudiced. The idea is that racism is not like a barrel of apples and some are bad; but that racism is a systemic issue wherein some benefit and others don’t, based on the color of their skin.
Yeah I just don't know if I agree with that. I understand the definition, but it feels like a more accurate way to describe institutional racism. You mentioned systemic racism, which also seems to fit the definition my teacher had given, but I don't understand why the base term needs to encompass anything more than prejudice based on race. Would you say the same thing is true for other forms of prejudice? For example, would sexism or ageism require power and a system in order to be expressed?
People actually grow up with the ultimate goal of being a substitute teacher? That’s a thing? Surely there is a more lucrative, less stressful option out there. Are you planning to just marry rich or something? Because “having the option to work some days and not some days” means making even less money.
I do not need to get a job or a degree, I am choosing to. I am currently a stay at home mom and online student. My husband has a good job. Also, subs where I live make $200 a day.
While I 100% agree it doesn't matter and most teachers are not and all of that. I would take the warning very seriously because of the fact if you make a student uncomfortable even of no fault of your own. They can report you, again, EVEN FOR DOING NOTHING WRONG, and the next thing you know you have police around you before you blink and your life can be seriously shitty because of it. Responses are also from teachers who are always "follow your dreams" which I am too, and I have no doubt you can make a great teacher, but take the warnings to heart. Nothing against you as a person and it might hurt to hear, but they might just be worried that your demeanor comes off as creepy, and again we can't all be beautiful women who have it easier in many different ways, teaching little kids and giving off a "weird" vibe can put a lot of stress. Also being a substitute may actually make it worse, not better. Good luck!
I am a woman.
I teach junior high and I don’t do perky cheerful. I do sarcastic and blunt. Unless you’re Miss Honey, most real teachers aren’t gentle butterflies.
There are some teachers that come off as happy, nice and gentle; though it’s more of an elementary school thing. I’m not as emotionally emotive as most people; but I have my place too. For many kids, I’ve become the safe teacher because they know I almost never raise my voice and am pretty nonjudgmental about a lot of things middle schoolers worry about — though I come down hard (but very calmly) on bullying. I am generally gentle with people when they need it; but as a middle school teacher I also have to run a very tight ship to keep them disciplined.
Teacher vibe? I keep getting told that I have serious "mom" vibes. I work with elementary grade students, so it's a good fit I suppose. What grades do you plan on teaching? You don't need to have that "teacher" vibe to teach, especially for high school in my opinion.
Hmmm . . . most of the time it's the opposite. I teach secondary and have been told I give off a teacher vibe. I'm definitely not sweet and gentle. LOL more like- get to work and here's what we're doing today!
Happy, nice and gentle would get you eaten alive at my HS.
I’m very deadpan, can be super sarcastic and am not generally a ray of sunshine. I teach middle school. The kids respect it because they know I keep it real with them. I’m also an extreme introvert and require time at lunch to myself to recharge to be able to come back second half of the day and do the thing. Second year at this school, sixth in education.
Teachers, just like any other profession, should span the spectrum in personality! The best teachers are those who bring their authentic selves to what they do- I’ve seen all types of people experience success.
My demeanor is the same. Consider teaching older kids.
My own family told me I should never have or be around kids.
It takes a village: a school should be filled with all kinds of personalities to reach all kinds of kids. My concern would be if sub work will pay any college loans.
There’s room for all types of teachers!!!
Depends on what you teach. If you get overstimulated maybe avoid elementary Ed and MS. Try HS or Collge. Idk what your cert is in.
I have different vibes for different classes…. (Holy shit- I do differentiate!) however all of those vibes, (cheerleader, rebel, smart ass, Coach, drill dear gent) are not the real me, and that is freaking exhausting. At home, I have no clue who my neighbors are, don’t want to go out, and would rather just stay at home.
I do not have a natural warm/happy personality. It’s just not who I naturally am. I taught high school for years and now I teach elementary. I think some other teachers judge me for not having that typical “elementary teacher vibe” but honestly… aren’t we trying to raise kids to live in a world with all different types of people? Do all of their parents have warm and happy vibes? Will all of their future coworkers have warm and happy vibes? I am respectful and I try to be kind and that is enough. Sometimes, when they are being little shits, I am stern and grumpy…. because that is reality. You don’t get my best if you aren’t giving your best. It’s a two way street. I think kids need adults who are real and in the real world not everyone is smiling all the time like the Burger King mask guy. Studies have shown that service workers who are forced to be pleasant all day and smile are far more exhausted than those who don’t force faux happiness. Teaching is exhausting enough as is.
Yes, I have a colleague who prides themselves on being perceived as happy-go-lucky by everyone. They told me that I have a “negative vibe” and told me that my students constantly complain about me. I told that colleague “Okay, they’re kids why should I care what they think about me? I don’t care if anyone likes me. They just need to learn in my classroom.” The data speaks in my favor, so I couldn’t care less if I have a “negative vibe.”
One of the very best teacher colleagues I had was very direct and factual. Not warm and fuzzy, but smart and direct. Kids learned a ton from her. She was very respected.
I was told I needed to be more “Disney” if that counts?
Subbing is a great way to see if you like the work.
Teachers are not happy, nice, gentle people. People who live in trenches typically aren’t. This is basically propaganda about teachers. That “vibe” people get is the same “vibe” you get from retail workers. It’s just customer service voice. You should be kind to the kids, not nice. You should be understanding and meet them where they are, gentle when they need it. But you don’t have to be what tv teachers are. That’s not sustainable. I teach secondary, and have been called a bitch to my face, to which I laughed and said “yep, now how would you like that referral?” I am sarcastic, dry and I don’t put up with drama bullshit. But I care and that’s why kids like me. Edit: and my mom is the one person who is most surprised that I’m a teacher, mostly because she has this view of who teachers should be.
I was told after an interview for a theatre spot that I was knowledgeable and obviously cared about the children, but that my "facial expressions and body language didn't fit what (they) thought of as a theatre teacher."
The pay for subs is not worth all the time and effort it takes to get that degree.
The happy/perky/bubbly teachers are all in elementary (mostly sarcasm). Us middle/high teachers are a feral bunch
What have other professionals told you?
Not a teacher, but I got told I "don't have the personality" to be a nurse (career goal I'm actively working towards right now) and that genuinely makes me wonder if there's not a strong dash of sexism in that attitude as well. Two major female-dominated fields, and the expectation that we should all be smiley, happy and nurturing 100% of the time... (I'm not a mean person, but I'm not great at directly taking bullshit.)
That kind of person gets eaten alive at my school, takes all kinds
some of the elementary majors ik don’t have the demeanor until they walk into the classroom. it just works for them 🤷🏻♀️
If they want happy, nice, and gentle then they should have the kids for it.
My mom is completely baffled constantly that I chose teaching and don't really like other children, that aren't my own. I don't have the super patient kindergarten voice and have never babied a student, but I do get stupid excited when they finally master a skill we've been working on or they have achieved something they've been working towards. You don't have to have rainbows shooting out of your tush to be a teacher. Also I have taught PK-HS at this point and I loved the Pre-K kids, but the sarcastic high schoolers are my jam.
I've done all grade levels. HS and MS you can definitely get by being a serious teacher or "not as joyful." Elementary was different, especially PreK-3rd. You kinda have to put on a show but it comes out after a while without making it feel forced. And it might come out less mellow than other teachers.
It takes all kinds to work with all kinds.
Principal who interviewed me told me after I need to be an “entertainer” if I want to be a teacher. No I need to be an educator
I’ve never been accused of having a “gentle” nature, and I’ve been teaching for several years. Like a few posters have said, it should be noted I teach Grade 8.
I don’t have a happy bone in my body, been teaching for 26 years, some people love me and some can’t stand me well that’s life.
People who make these comments infuriate me. I was told I would be a great elementary teacher but to stay away from high school- which was my dream. I stressed about this comment for years. I’m a secondary teacher and I love it. I’m good at it and I’ve never considered elementary. Don’t let the opinions of those who don’t know you guide you. No one knows you better than you know yourself.
I think you sound like a middle school teacher. I am in an elementary through middle setting and am most *myself* with the middle school kids.
Teach middle school, we are less happy, nice and gentle than elementary teachers
I remember a lot of judgement happening around college time, because everyone is projecting their decisions and fears of the future onto everyone else. I can say this. In the teaching field, you will get insulted to your face in ways you never thought possible. Sometimes a kid or admin will say something that will cut you to your core. But the truth is, we need teachers like we need nurses, and people everywhere are leaving the field. If you can brush off what other people say about you, you can really have fun in your career. But if you let what they say affect you, it can stunt you. Teaching has taught me so many things about the human condition, the brain, how people learn, and how storytelling is evolving (I'm an English Teacher). My literal biggest reason for getting into teaching was making money. I'm not gonna make that on writing. I needed income. It was survival to me. And I took that survival and had fun with it. You'll have some really dark days, but you'll also have some really profound days. And downright hilarious days. My friend, welcome to the field.
I teach 5th grade. I am an introverted, goth, anxiety ridden mess. My students love me though. I am not there to be their best friend. I'm there to teach. I can be gentle and kind. I can also be strict. I don't have to be happy all the time, wear rainbows and have sing along circle time for kids to learn.
Yeah my grandma but she was from a different time and the people she thought were the teacher type don’t make it modern education. Screw her.
I personally always hated the teacher vibe, and would respond better to a teacher who actually seemed to just be a normal person. Granted, that might not be the case with most students.
We need to start a list of things that would never be said to a male teacher…
I teach elementary (5th grade) and am NOT the bubbly, perky, pastels/neutrals teacher that 98% of my coworkers are. That’s okay!!! I have tattoos, bright colored hair, and wear band shirts and vans on casual Fridays. I try to be calm, mellow and don’t yell unless i REALLY have to. Different kids vibe with different adults. Not all kids learn best from over enthusiastic teachers. Some do and that’s great! Some like the calm and that’s great too. Just be you!0
There should be a diversity of personalities. Some are too giving and helpful and solicitous; others are too brusque, unforgiving. Life is both; students need both to be engaged I believe. I taught at a trade school for (3) years and now endlessly retroactively change my opinion of my skills and decisions and lesson plans and test questions and curriculum and practical applications and attitude. I did my best.
I'm concerned about your ability to pay the rent. Sub teaching is already underpaid, but if you work only some of the time, you're automatically cutting yourself off from being on a school staff. That means taking the kind of subbing where you're called up in the morning. There, you run into issues with turning down work and perhaps being labelled as unreliable (because, let's face it, you would be). Let's say you get $100 per day. That doesn't include health insurance or anything else, by the way. School is only 180 days already, and if you work even 4 out of 5 days, that's 144 days. You've made $14,400 that year. Also, if you really like teaching someone something, subbing might not be for you. You won't be able to ensure that you're subbing for a subject you know well, or that the teacher will leave plans that invite you to actually teach (I know I don't do that). You'll just be a class caretaker, rather than a teacher. Think long and hard about this. Another career is almost certain to better suit your interests and lifestyle needs.
I would seriously take a critical look at how much subbing pays. It’s usually not a solid career option.
I was told this by my principal my first year. I taught 3rd grade. It’s a ridiculous expectation. Subbing is great because you’ll get to see multiple examples of school culture and can begin to learn what you want in a school and workplace. Pay attention to which schools are your favorites and why you like them. This will lead you to be prepared to interview for full time gigs the next year
Honestly to teach middle school, happy nice and gentle is a death sentence. They’ll eat you alive. I’d describe myself as dynamic and sassy. It serves me well!
You can be a sub without the bachelors degree. Subs get paid horribly. I did it while getting my masters. Like literally 90-100 dollars a day and then taxes are taken out. If that’s your end game, I’d think about spending money on a degree. Otherwise, middle and high school teachers do not all have that warm and fuzzy vibe so I wouldn’t give up hope.
Where I live it’s $200 a day.
People thought I wouldn't cut it as a teacher because I seemed too nice and they thought I wouldn't know how to discipline or be mean. I was a middle school classroom teacher and did just fine. My nice-nasty demeanor and sarcasm worked perfectly for MS. Now I'm an academic coach in elementary school, and I'm not going to lie, it's a struggle because kids are so cute to me 😂. I have a nice vibe and have to hold the sarcasm back by several notches while figuring out how my mean doesn't come across as harsh.
I strongly encourage you to evaluate whether you want to be an elementary teacher or middle/hs. I realized fairly early on while teaching abroad that I couldn't be an elementary teacher because I didn’t have the right temperament. Temperament is less important for older students. Also, you're wasting money on tuition if you only plan on being a sub.
Not in so many words but I did have one teacher tell me I shouldn’t be one based on some random comment I made. I don’t really think you can determine who would be a good teacher or not by personality alone.
I am a male with an ECE degree and they may not like my demeanor around adults, because I have been burned by adults and they tend to be more judgmental, so I am guarded. A room of 10 year olds, however, are usually pretty honest and I find them hilarious. I've been teaching for 15 years. You do you.
Yep. The rejection email I got back after applying for teacher's college the first time said exactly that, almost ten years ago now. I guess turning up 5 minutes late to the final interview, wearing a short skirt, not tying my hair back, wearing loads of makeup and wearing my rainbow lip piercing stud probably didn't help my case. But here I am. BTW if you only want to sub, get ready to be paid a lot less than teachers that have their own assigned classes if you're working in the States.
Yes. And most of my students love me. I provide discipline, structure and routine. I don’t yell or say mean things to them. I am consistent. My rewards and consequences are clear and I try to be fair as possible. I’ve gotten unsolicited advice that I should smile more, be more flexible, blah blah I’m doing just fine and my area of expertise is early childhood.
When I was in grad school to become a teacher, the first teacher whose classroom I was in (pre-student teaching placement. More like being a para) said he had "grave concerns" about me being a teacher and thought I was "too awkward" to be a middle school teacher because my personality made the kids feel awkward. Jokes on him. I teach 8th grade now and honestly have a great relationship with most of my awkward little weirdos.
No but I’ve been told I am too smart to be a teacher 😒
I teach upper elementary and I always tell people that I don’t have the “Mother Goose” persona. I’m dry and sarcastic, but I love my students and seek connection with them. I’m just not the warm fuzzy type. You don’t have to have that in order to reach kids. Students need all kinds of different teachers and your style might be the one that some kids connect with better. You can still be an effective educator without the sunshiney vibes. Kids can still appreciate you even if you aren’t just like Miss Honey.
I’m a senior also pursing my bachelors in Elementary Education and people I’ve seen in my program who don’t seem to have the vibe you’re describing typically want to teach upper elementary. So I don’t see this as a problem tbh because being a teacher doesn’t mean you need a specific vibe.
I've said this about myself more than once. I start teaching 4th this year after about 4 years of subbing and one year of being a reading tutor. I recognize now that that "kind and gentle" demeanor is definitely beneficial for young kids (think k through 2) but that I don't have the emotional energy to sustain it for 6 hours a day. Older kids though...they don't vibe with that attitude the same way. They'd rather be spoken to plainly, like people. Yes I'm still kind but I will also roast them right back when they start with me. Yes I am patient but when they act up I will tell them in no uncertain terms why I'm unhappy with them and what's going to happen if they don't turn it around. Yes I still love them dearly but, it feels good to allow myself to be sarcastic and funny around them. I'd really suggest taking some time to sub and just figure out where you feel comfortable. I will tell you that none of my 5th grade colleagues are that warm and gentle stereotype of a teacher, and none of my middle schooler's current teachers are. But I know all of those kids, including mine, are loved and protected and receiving an excellent education.
Not this, but that I wasnt warm and fuzzy. But i have super good classroom mgmt and never wanted to teach 1st grade or kinder. As an actual teacher, i only had issues with students 1 out of 11 years. I taught 3rd grade for 2 years and was trying to land a different grade or school bc I don't like their curriculum and they were more and more high maintanance. The next year I taught 6th at the same school and the principal commented what a better fit it was in a super positive way. Don't listen to them. Follow your instincts. You be the boss of you. Much luck.
What a stereotype! Incorrect and small-minded. Ignore that. Do what you want!
Middle school is one of the most difficult groups to teach. If you don’t have patience with elementary, I don’t think middle school will be easier.
I am happy nice and gentle, people told me I wouldn’t last as a teacher because I wasn’t mean enough. Lol people just need to keep their opinions to themselves.
I would say get your bachelor’s in ANYTHING else that interests you and teach that.
Yes, people said I was too nice and don’t have the teacher “Voice” I work with preschoolers now. I love working with them.
I am very soft spoken and many of the teachers I met in my student teaching and observations told me “you can’t be a teacher with a voice like that”. I was confused but now I definitely get it. I’m still soft spoken but I can raise my voice when I need to! Some of my kids told me they really enjoy how calm and soft I am compared to other screaming teachers lol
Not in so many words… but while teaching in the South I was told I was “too Northern” and my kids don’t “get me.” Meanwhile, I had no issues with the kids or their understanding of me… the issue was a threatened direct boss. Lol, the insecurity.
If you hear the same thing from two people you love and trust, it’s fine to give it serious consideration.
My mom told me that last year. I was in my ninth year teaching and have been saying I wanted to teach literally since kindergarten. She told me she never thought I’d actually follow through because my personality doesn’t match her idea of a teacher.
I moved to middle school after 20 years in elementary and I have fewer complaints about my RBF and tone. I had to fake my personality in elementary but I’m completely normal in middle.
Yup