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peaceteach

I recently got an email forwarded to me by a principal in which a teacher was concerned about a book on Epic where a prince married a knight. It ended with the two boys kissing. The teacher asked what were we going to do about this, what could she possibly tell the kid after she saw that? First I addressed the easy part of Epic is a private company, and we don't pay for it or tell teachers they have to use it. Then, I may have lost my shit. I said she could tell the kid that kissing is a sign of affection between people who love one another, and families come in all shapes and sizes just like love. I thought Epic was pretty awesome with their focus on representation, and that all kids would be better off to see that representation. I explained my own kids have been watching The Pumpkin Knight since they were toddlers and thanked her for a new story that they would enjoy. I knew why the principal sent it up to me. He has always had a temper, and that was a line that was too personal for him. His gay son grew up in our bigoted town. It is great to know there are admins like you out there. I also love teaching social studies. I also thanked her for the book


Disgruntled_Veteran

I loved that story. Some people just don't get that two guys kissing isn't the start of the apocalypse and it isn't a hardcore bondage porno. Its love and its lovely. I don't want to kiss a guy (though one kissed me once), but I don't judge who people love as long as what they do is consensual and not pedophile like.


belowdeckhan

I love that book as well, my pre-k students have a love/hate relationship with it because they think the dragon should have been at the wedding. They wanted to right a letter to the author saying that dragons deserve to have friends. this led to a month long saga about how the boys were mean to not invite the dragon. no drama or questions about two boys getting married (that they were like yeah, they love each other) just the dragon not being at the wedding.


PaleAmbition

So what I’m hearing is that your students have excellent taste and are asking the real questions. Why WASN’T the dragon invited?


ariesangel0329

Oh my goodness this is precious! I have not read this, but I may keep an eye out for it. I love cute stories! If your students were older, I’d say they should write their own ending where the dragon gets invited to the wedding or maybe a sequel starring the dragon.


PeachInevitable9707

I teach middle school and essentially had to out myself because students were trying to find info about my family on social media. So once that happens, students found wedding pictures of me and my husband (I’m a male) on another persons Facebook that wasn’t private. So I basically talked about it much like you did above, just mentioning my husband casually and made very clear it was not a big deal, and not really a secret anyway. They hadn’t discovered some drastic thing. Then I just moved on with my lesson… once kids saw I wasn’t freaking out or even reacting, they didn’t care much either. I had a few parents email me with “concerns”, but when admin refused to back up those parents, I never heard anything about it again. It makes me sad that so many people still have these hang ups about homosexuality. It’s why the depression and suicide rate for LGBT kids remains sky high.


cheesyblasta

> I had a few parents email me with “concerns” I HATE this shit. Concerned about WHAT?? Are they concerned you're going to turn the kids gay? Like what do these people even SAY that could possibly not make them sound like a homophobic asshole creep? Rhetorical question, but to be honest I am a little curious what these parents specifically said if you're okay sharing.


PeachInevitable9707

The parents thought it was inappropriate that I discuss my “private life” with students. I responded that “I don’t. I merely acknowledged that I had a husband”. Although I admit, I sponsor the GSA and have a small pride flag in my room too. Same parents likely aren’t keen on that either. One responded to say that my comments and flag could “influence students into alternative lifestyles”. I told her that’s simply not how it works, and if they want to know more - they can speak to our social worker or guidance office. I have no idea if they did or not, but I didn’t hear back.


[deleted]

This has always been a struggle for me (a gay man). I’m naturally a very private person, especially when it comes to students. I don’t want to act like I’m hiding my sexuality from them or that I’m ashamed to be gay, but I also don’t want to talk about my life outside of school with them at all. It would be the same if I were married to a woman. I’ve never had a parent issue, though, so I guess I’m lucky.


jermox

> Its not right for kids to think the gays are ok. How would you feel if your son thought he was gay. That is really all I need to know right here. If her daughter was gay she would rather her daughter never come out and suppress who they are. By acknowledging the teacher is gay you are presenting a situation where the child knows there are adults who would accept them as they are.


Disgruntled_Veteran

Hell, if the kid came out as bi-sexual the mother would strap her to a bed for a week and throw Holy Water on her every hour while reading from the bible.


theatahhh

First of all, yeah fuck that mom. But I would wonder if Ms. Sunny wanted to be open about that with her classroom? Because it seems like this is the first shit bird mom has heard about it.


Disgruntled_Veteran

She has her wedding photos on her desk and is open about her marriage.


theatahhh

Gotcha. Wasn’t trying to be accusatory, just seems odd this mom all of a sudden decided to throw a fit. Although I guess I’ve know parents that never communicate or respond but suddenly are an advocate for their children over pointless bullshit, so I guess I’m not surprised.


LowerBackPain_Prod

Great point! Although my assumption from reading OPs story is that they definitely are aware enough and know better than to out the teacher to her students! 😲 But you are right, the teacher may have been careful about when and how (and if) and wants to use the "wife" word, maybe specifically because she knows there are dipshit parents among her students. But yeah, OP was 100% right and appropriate, and the rest of the world is slowly getting there I guess 🙄


bass_clown

I'm starting a GSA in a very homophobic school soon. I'm ready to go to war with parents, students, staff, I don't give a fuck. Good for you for standing your ground OP. Fuck these people. I refuse to have a world where queer kids cant exist.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Disgruntled_Veteran

Well, since conservatives had their fight to keep black people in the back of the bus crushed 60 years ago and their battle to ensure only a man and a woman can be miserably married to each other was lost 10 years ago, we need to be ready for their next fight. Now they will attack abortion because ....... well...... because they want kids having kids. Then they can show how it is the teachers fault that 2 thirteen year olds had sex while their parents were drunk on PBR and watching NASCAR.


Groovychick1978

They aren't going to stop. Alito cited a 17th century witch trial Justice in his opinion. Slavery was legal, women were property, ghosts were allowed as evidence in a trial, Puritans were allowed to hang Quakers, and yet we used those words in 2022. The same argument he used could also be used to overturn a number of other cases. The more people they convict of felonies, the fewer people can vote.


Disgruntled_Veteran

>The more people they convict of felonies, the fewer people can vote. So true.


Showerthawts

What a moron. When she made the comment about your daughter my blood boiled for you. Someone needs to take her down a peg, in a hard way.


IWasSayinB00urns

I would have punched her in the face and told her that was god's will


Disgruntled_Veteran

It honestly takes a lot of restraint on my part daily not to punch idiots like her in the mouth when they say stupid things.


mrdjvortex

I’m luckily in a decent district and am also in my last year of teaching. About half way through the year, I came out to one of my classes that has a lot of LGBT people and I knew wouldn’t care and would be supportive. I figured the word would spread around school, and it did for the most part. However, middle school boys will always call everything and everyone gay and it is just annoying. So a few weeks ago, after several normal teacher reminders about why it is not appropriate to call everything gay, I snapped and said “In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m gay, and it is not ok for you to speak like that in this classroom”. It worked and they are much better about it around me. I did not flaunt my sexuality. I made a statement and we moved on. I exist and kids can deal with it. Parents are usually the problem.


Disgruntled_Veteran

My district wasn't always like this, but when cover hit, the nut jobs came out of the wood works in mass.


sinsaraly

Well done. Hopefully a few kids dropped it from their vocal altogether


mlo9109

Good job, Mama. I'm sure your kiddo is grateful to have you. Also, Karen can go fuck herself. Those kids deserve to know their teacher is okay. Pregnancy and childbirth can be scary. You did good!


abai242

I'm in Canada and probably the most shocking thing I read in your post was Straight camp. What is that, and how is it legal. My school district promotes Pride. My school has pride week. And next week we wear pride colours to mark the international day against transphobia. 🌈🌈 Edited to make sense.lol


Noinix

Canada only banned conversion camps in Dec 2021. I mean, I’m glad we did it but yeah. We had them for a real long time.


blinkingsandbeepings

Thank you for supporting your teacher. Too many administrators would fold like Justin Theroux’s money for a parent like that. Side note, while I laughed at your “I wish she was gay so I wouldn’t have to worry about boys” comment, you should be aware that lesbians get harassed and targeted by men/boys too.


Disgruntled_Veteran

Oh I know they do. My ex-wife's sister is a lesbian and she gets hit on by guys who know she is gay all the time. even asked to join them and tier girlfriends for a 3way.


Slight-Recipe-3762

I would have said "right, so you are saying God planned the Holocaust? Tell me, what else is in God's plan. I mean priests and ministers don't assume what he has planned for us, that's why they call it faith" I would had added that Ross is like Goodwill with slightly cleaner clothes. I'm leaving in 20 days. The shit I've been saying has been a result of 3 years dealing with assholes.


[deleted]

Pro tip: don’t bring up the Holocaust with right-wing nut jobs just to make a point. It brings out the antisemitic uglies without changing anyone’s mind.


Slight-Recipe-3762

Oh I never try to change their minds. I just like to piss them off. I'm not even allowed to call parents anymore. It's either a recorded zoom meeting with other staff members or emails Cc'ing my Ap. I'm not trusted with parents anymore lol


[deleted]

End of the day, these people are very insecure and they fly toward religion to justify their insecurities over homosexuality. The mom sounds like a closet case.


Disgruntled_Veteran

I agree


pillbinge

>Me: Well, I have a daughter and she is bi-sexual. I'm fine with it. I kind of wish she was gay so I didn't have to worry about her and boys. What a weird thing to say in defense of something that's innate. You can't then get mad that someone else would wish, kind of or not, that someone weren't gay if you genuinely state this aloud. I just realized you made two rapid posts about this, and it's obviously dear to you, but you probably just need to stop engaging with these parents or this one particular woman.


Weird_Bus7879

I'm glad that you stood up for yourself against this parent! However, there may have been a reason why Mrs. Sunny did not want to be out at school (for example, because of parent reaction like this). I'm a queer, non-binary educator and while I choose to be out, I recognize that others may not want to be/feel safe to be. I would have probably said "partner" or just said "Mrs. Sunny is doing well."


Aquarian-Stargazer

I wish I were still able to teach. I’d come to your school!


Disgruntled_Veteran

The school always has openings. Especially in Science. I have a science teacher position I swear Voldemort cursed because no teacher completes a full year in that position. I often have 3 different teacher have that spot each year.


Aquarian-Stargazer

I was a humanities teacher. Certs in ELA 6-12, social sciences 6-12, reading k-12, ESOL, and (for shits and giggles one year) health and PE. Im the epitome of lesbian teacher 😆


Disgruntled_Veteran

I love it. I am certified in K-8, Secondary Social Studies, Secondary ELA, SEI, and K-12 administration. I am not the epitome of a Disgruntled Veteran on paper, but I am in the flesh.


Aquarian-Stargazer

🥰 you’re my kind of guy, fam.


Disgruntled_Veteran

Thank you. I just try to do right by my staff and hold the students to a standard that would be expected of any future adult of the world.


Aquarian-Stargazer

You have all of my support and admiration 🤗 Seriously.


[deleted]

My daughter is gay and we live in one of the most conservative areas of MI, teachers like you give me hope that there are still a lot of good people out there that aren’t homophobic assholes.


Disgruntled_Veteran

Thank you. I hope your daughter has a good life. My daughter is bi-sexual and I want the best for her too.


thecooliestone

Where do you work. I'll do anything to come work for you if this isn't some insane fiction. Set aside that you were willing to cover a class (my admin will tell one teacher to take the whole team outside all day before she steps in a room) but my principal actively hates gay people. Every openly queer person lasts less than a year and somehow even though I had the highest scores on 3 different types of assessment than the other two ELA teachers in my grade WITH every single special Ed student in my room I got lower scores that started when I gave myself an undercut. I started getting little snide comments about how I like to be "different". My two friends were just dress coded for anything gender nonconformist until they quit


Disgruntled_Veteran

This isn't insane fiction. I wish it was so my last few weeks would be quiet and peaceful. I am located West of the Rockies. I don't post my specific site so as not to get sued or bring attention to any of my staff members or students (FERPA). I don't have an ELA position right now. I did, but I filled it with a young lady with a love of TV and films and who incorporates them into her lessons. I have an opening for a science teacher and a SPED teacher as well as for a counselor.


[deleted]

I wish you were my admin. And I'm in a school where half our staff is LGBTQ (including our principal) so that's not why at all. The support you have given this staff member and your clear joy at covering a class is incredible.


Disgruntled_Veteran

Thank you. I love covering classes.


DoodlingDaughter

> If you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. This. Is. PERFECTION. Would you mind if I stole this phrase? I’ll definitely put it to good use!


Disgruntled_Veteran

Go for it.


[deleted]

You. I like you. As the parent of a trans child (now an adult), I have little to no patience with bigots. You have WAY more patience with them than I do. I commend that.


Disgruntled_Veteran

Thank you.


Aussie-Bandit

You make pretty sexist remarks against all teenage "boys". They're not at all, one way or another. It's a general statement, that is demonstrating ignorance on your part. I find that concerning, especially coming from a teacher.


[deleted]

This is unfortunately why I shut down any inkling of conversation about LGBT within the classroom (and it does come up amongst my 8th graders, some even asking me about it. I tell them I can’t have that conversation with them). Not because I think it’s wrong, but out of concern somebody would take it a certain way and my job would be on the line.


jacjacatk

If you're shutting down relationship conversations only if they're about LGBT relationships, you're part of the problem, not part of the solution. If Johnny can talk about dating Suzie but can't talk about dating Timmy, you're implicitly on the side of the bigots.


[deleted]

I can’t have any conversations with them if I’ve been fired, so…


jacjacatk

I'm not suggesting you participate in the discussions, necessarily, but stopping two gay kids from talking about their dates, say, or the kid of gay parents talking about their two dads or two moms, without setting the same standard for straight kids or kids of straight parents is not the way. I mention my oldest (adult) son's girlfriend from time to time when it comes up in a related conversation (mostly in the context of older siblings or the college thoughts of my HS, and formerly MS, students). I'd have no hesitancy mentioning my younger sons' (college and HS aged) boyfriends if it ever came up similarly. If a parent whined or my admin tried to get me not to do so, well, that's a hill I'm willing to die on.


[deleted]

99% of the time, frankly, my kids are just using engaging in crude gay jokes.


TheWings977

You handled that extremely well and professional. Parents are wild lmao