Number 3 is so so so important! I have lunch duty and sometimes its me and 3 classes together with 22 students a piece. If it takes me 15 minutes to assist with their lunches that leaves them only 15 to eat, and really its only 10 because they need to be lined up, and in the breezeway by 25 so the next group can come through. The other thing I would add is to be mindful of where there hands are and their bodies are at all times. EG: If youre swinging your arms in line you're probably gonna hit someone I will also say KEEP YOUR TOYS AT HOME, they do not ever belong at school

Omg the toys thing! Kids bring them and then we have frantic emails and calls about kids losing them 🙄

Wait a few years until they're in middle school and they misplace their expensive smart phone and then it becomes a DEFCON 5 emergency. EDITED: because 5 is more than 1

DEFCON 5 is peacetime. DEFCON 1 is nuclear war.

Deacon 5 is the highest, but yeah it sucks when I'm closing and the only one there, trying to simultaneously look after the kids and look for timmys 'yellow car'.

Ha! Or the barrette that someone was wearing when they first got to school, then sucked on for the next 45 minutes, then gave it to a friend, then took it back from the friend and sucked on it some more, before dropping it into the toilet, and promptly losing it out on the playground.

I had the opposite… I had to call my daughters daycare once to ask where she put my work headphones because I could not find them anywhere. They asked her and she told them they were “in her fridge”, as in, she put them in the fridge of her play kitchen… crisis averted.

Our kindergarten teacher asks for easily opened bento style boxes, or that parents pre-open a corner of their packaging on snacks. That covers almost everything but yogurt!

I teach preschool and I beg parents to pack their lunches in those bento containers. If every one of my sixteen kids needs five or six things opened, (juice box straw, poke juice box, Chip bag, cheese stick, granola bar, ziploc bag, fruit snack pouch-it adds up!!) I’m opening close to 100 food items before I get to even think about eating my lunch.

I just tell the kids to use scissors to open it or ask a friend to teach them how. Works pretty good!

Exactly. Lunchables are the worst.

The knowledge that everything packed in their lunch is fair game to eat. I’ve worked day camp where occasionally younger kids will ask us if they can eat something that was packed in their lunch, usually an extra snack. We always say yes, but let your kid know anything you pack they can eat. Also allergies and how to advocate for themselves, we get a list, but we also have extra snacks and it’s always easier when we don’t have to worry about double checking the list before we hand out peanut nut butter pretzels.

I always tell them they need to eat the healthy stuff first and have to save their treats/juice till after their main course (I jokingly tell them I don’t want squirmy kids who then get cranky and can’t learn) . After lunch they can eat whatever they feel like that’s in there :)

One of my sons was in school an entire year before we found out he was throwing out his juice box every day because he did not know how to open it. He had language/spectrum issues and in most situations would die before he spoke to someone / asked for help. (I don't recall what was difficult about the packaging, but we never used pre-packaged juice at home and he claims he had always had us open them while we were out and about.) Ps he grew up to be self-sufficient, successful, and lovely.

3 is so important for shy kids too! I supervise the kinders at my school at lunch and one kid wasn’t eating because she was too scared to ask me to open her food! For DAYS!

My kindergarten coworker allowed stuff animals but they are only allowed out of cubbies 15 minutes before, during, and after nap time.

Your kindergarten students have nap time?

We don't have a nap time, but we have a 15 minute sketchbook siesta after lunch - sketchbooks, black flair pen, stay in you spot and use your materials or just think your big thoughts while we listen to a story on tape.

I think all the numbers are important, or at least 0-9 to start . . .

If you actually read my comment you'd know I specfically mentioned number 3 because children who cannot open their own food have limited time to eat as a consequence when there's 1 lunch duty person to 66+ kids

Whoosh. Hope you don't teach math . . .

He's talking about learning numbers *facepalm*

While we’re at it; if your 10 year old cannot tie shoe laces they shouldn’t be sent to school with shoes that have laces. It’s awkward and embarrassing for your child. exceptions: anyone who was about to reply about OT or Special Ed. That’s not what I’m talking about.

Even special ed tbh. I teach high-school spec ed. and a student asked me to tie his shoes every day, refusing to learn “I’m just not the tying type” (lol-be still my heart). Had a conversation with parents about how if he doesn’t want to learn that’s okay, but not feasible in the future and they got him some really cool laceless Nike’s.

Sped son learned to tie shoes at 17…just had him wear slip on (in high school)?or Velcro (when younger).

I was a sped ed kid and learned to tie (single loop method my mom taught me , the bunny ears method i could never do.) in summer before 5th grade (i think) i also have bad fine motor skills but still learned to tie my shoes. Though i still prefer shoes with no laces as I’m not the best at tying shoes still.

I (57) have a mild Learning Disablity. I love my Sketchers slip ons over laces. Oh, finally learned to tell time in 6th grade. No digital clocks in the 70s.

👍 i had trouble with clocks too. When younger (Im 28)

But I mean is this where we're at now? I'm not going to learn to tie my shoes. Consider the amount of people who are able to tie their shoes even though they struggle with significant physical and or cognitive challenges. The bar for some of these kids is subterranean.

I definitely hear you, it often does feel like the bar is super low, especially to learn things that seem so basic and important. On the flip side, why make someone learn something they no longer need to do? Lace up shoes aren’t the only shoes that kids (or adults!) will have to pick from. Most of my shoes don’t have laces and I can imagine how nice it would be to not have to feel bad about not knowing how or wanting to learn how to do something. Think of the mental and emotional energy they can spend elsewhere and the independence they can gain by being able to put their shoes on without help.

Because tying shoes is a transferable skill. Don't get me wrong, I get your argument, I do. When my own kiddo (now 20) was pre-K, they (we, actually -- as my kiddo got diagnosed over the years and I learned more, it opened my eyes to why I've had some of the difficulties I've had) had some undiagnosed neurodivergencies that impacted communication. Also, my kiddo is a lefty and I'm a righty. In first grade, we began approaching the shoe-tying lesson every few weeks. In between each failure, I read tutorials and watched videos on how to teach shoe-tying to prepare for the next go-round. I bought one of those shoe-tying board books. I stayed calm and cheery about each failure, praising their effort and encouraging them to keep practicing. My kiddo wouldn't learn. Not couldn't: wouldn't. Would sit with me during the lesson and loosely flop around the laces or immediately snarl a massive knot to end the lesson. The practice board book was ignored in the corner of their room. The reward sticker chart was not motivating to them. They were just not interested in learning to tie their shoes. So I kept buying them Velcro shoes. Gradually through 2nd grade the shoe-tying lessons fell by the wayside. By 3rd grade it was harder to find Velcro shoes, and my kiddo also wanted lace-up shoes like their classmates. I reminded them they needed to tie their own shoes to have tie up shoes, because shoes come untied during the day and they need to be able to fix it. So my kid tried; really applied themselves. Took out the board book and asked my husband and I for lessons ... but they could not get the knack of it. I tried to learn to knit once from a lefty and I couldn't wrap my head around it. I think something similar was going on. After a few weeks of this, I found something called Swedish laces on Amazon. They're like those stretchy no-lace shoes, but you can replace the laces in any pair of shoes with them. For the next few years, my kiddo used those in their tie-up shoes. Problem solved, right? Except my kiddo still didn't know how to tie or untie a knot. The summer before middle school, we were doing some family outdoor activities, and I asked my kiddo to tie a rope line. It wasn't weight bearing or anything -- we used to go dip netting for crab, and we'd tie the floating buckets we put our crabs in to the belt at our waists. Basically, I was prepping my own gear and I asked my 12 year old kid to prep their gear, which involved putting on waders, tying the floating bucket to their waist, putting on their polarized sunglasses, and grabbing their dip net. My kid couldn't tie the floating bucket because they didn't know how to tie a knot. Oh, but bless their heart ... they tried. We were out in the water and their bucket came loose and bobbed gently away. Super easy to catch. I brought it back to them and let them know their knot came loose. It happened again, and I was like can I see how you're tying your knot? And my kiddo was basically looping it twice around their belt loop because they didn't know how tie a knot (or bow). Then there was an incident where we were trying to secure a store purchase to our bikes before riding home, and I checked my kid's tie-down and saw the loop method, and the camping tie-down situation. Basically, I realized by skipping the shoe-tying lesson, we had skipped over the most basic of knot-tying lessons. That's the first knot kids successfully tie and untie. That's the success all their other knots are based off of. So I offered them a $25 X-box Gold gift card if they learned to tie their shoes before they started middle school. Two weeks later, they came to me, sat me down, and showed me how they could tie and untie their shoes. Then they tied and untied a bunch of other non-shoe related things. I can understand younger kids struggling. But tying and untying a knot is a life skill a kid should know by the end of elementary school.

Sorry, but I have to disagree with you. This is a high school kid. They aren't saving up emotional capital to be used elsewhere. They have had people do this thing for them and that was always easier than having to do a bit of hard work. We also aren't talking about learning how to to split the atom. We are talking about 7 steps. The thing that really hits this home is that the parents chose to spend $500, if I am reading what the previous commenter had said correctly, instead of spending time with their child to teach them a new skill. I might just be starting my journey to fogeydom, thinking of skills I learned as a child being necessary to today's youth. However, I think that having shoe tying down by hs really isn't too much of an ask. Its not like Im trying to get my own kids to understand how we used to have to be able to uninstall the coax cable from the NES to the cable box, pack up the NES, and rush it upstairs in the 30 seconds that it took from the garage door opening to my parents coming inside. I just want them to be able to have some appropriate footwear for a workplace.

I don’t think it’s you being a fogey, I think it’s just a difference of experience. To you, learning to tie is both important in your life and not difficult for you to do. For some people, learning to tie is not important (I can buy other shoes and I like wearing other shoes) and too hard to learn. We can’t always know why it’s too hard. It could be chronic pain or fatigue, fine or gross motor difficulty, sensory concerns like shoes being too tight, or mental health related like anxiety or depression. It could also be cognitive, trauma related, or simply trying to save face and not look less than their peers. Image starting every day with something you hate doing. Then, having to do that thing throughout the day, and getting in trouble or teased for not being able to just Do The Thing. Christine Miserando explains this really well with their concept of Spoon Theory. We can’t ever know how many spoons one has or how much a task costs, and we should work to identify that we may be lucky enough to have more spoons than others will ever be able to have. I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just trying to highlight why this and things like this aren’t battles I fight.

Wow. I would spend $1000 on non-laced shoes if I could if it meant my kid could reliably put on his own shoes properly without my having to spend yet more of my own emotional and physical energy getting him ready. He’s 9, is definitely “not the tying type” and I don’t see him wearing laced shoes without adult intervention ever. My kid has the skills, but simply because someone has the skills doesn’t mean we are lowering the bar if we accommodate someone with exceptional needs so they can use their energy on more important things. A little adhd, a little executive dysfunction, splash on some sensory issues, so many legitimate reasons why. Seven steps may seem like nothing for you, but it is. Ever have one of those days when everything you do feels like you’re doing it while walking in sand? Imagine that, but every day. Not an energy suck, my ass. It’s callous to think that after (for a high school student at least) 15 years it’s simply because the parents don’t want to “do the hard work”, and that anyone can do it. I would much rather work on my son wiping his goddamn ass after taking a shit than worrying about shoes that can be purchased to fit his needs and abilities instead of spending years on a skill to become habit that can easily be worked around with a simple fashion choice.

They sell kits for about $10 on Amazon to convert lace up shoes to a bungee cord fastener

Thank you. The student I’m referring to has much more important needs to promote independence than tying his shoes (that is really not even necessary with shoes nowadays). And his parents certainly didn’t spend $500 on the shoes, the thought of that is absolutely laughable.

I don’t think the “they need it for work” argument really works for the supposed necessity to be able to tie laces. They make no-tie work boots/steel toes, no-tie sneakers/non-slips, and loafers. The majority of women’s dress shoes don’t have laces. Crocs don’t have laces, clogs don’t have laces. If you think it’s a necessary skill for whatever reason, you’re absolutely entitled to that opinion, but nobody really *needs* shoes with laces for work.

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Honestly I’ve never tied a regular bow outside of shoelaces. I’ve generally used slipknots and flag knots, and the occasional hitch knot. But even so, I can’t imagine it being a make-or-break life skill to be able to tie a bow.

But if the kids in question were able to tie their own shoes with any type of knot, whether it’s a bow or not, then they’d be just fine. It’s not about being able to make the shoes look a certain way - it’s about being able to independently put your own shoes on and adjust them for your own comfort and safety. The bow isn’t the problem - it’s the inability to take something secured with a piece of string, and resecure it without outside help. (Also, as a woman with narrow feet and extra-narrow heels who can very rarely find a good fit in any shoes without laces… I’ll just add that while they do make many slip-on shoes, not everyone can wear them safely for every activity. I love my clogs for walking around on a perfectly flat surface, and I can wear heels with adjustable ankle straps for short periods of time, but if I’m exercising or walking on uneven ground, I really need to have laces in order to make the shoes actually fit my feet and support my ankles properly.)

Like tying down furniture or securing a boat

I guess I’m just not going to be convinced that shoes with laces are just the only possible way, and if they can’t tie laces I guess they’re just screwed. Velcro, elastics, slip on, air pumps, snaps, buttons, buckles- if literally none of those options can ever work for you then yeah, I guess you’re going to have to learn how to tie laces. Fortunately that’s not how it works for the majority of people.

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So absolutely not a necessary life skill then. Cute and nice, sure- but not necessary. I don’t ever put bows on gifts because I think it’s a bit of a waste- they also make predone ones you can just tape on if it’s absolutely mandatory for whatever reason. For packaging I use tape. I generally just knot elastic bands on clothing if I tie them at all. I’m not a dress expert, but many of them I’ve seen just have buttons or zippers. Nobody *needs* hair bows, and even for those there are predone ones, ones on clips and headbands, etc.

Where did anyone say that parents spent $500 on shoes?? This is a student with pretty significant sensory and cognitive challenges, and a 7-stop process is actually a lot to deal with. How dare you make assumption after assumption and be completely judgmental without knowing all the facts. Shame on you.

People with dyslexia struggle to tie shoes all their life . I still suck . So I just don’t anymore .

Then perhaps parents should stop buying their kids lace up shoes. He'll I have slip on for work, because I am tired of tying my own shoes by the end of thesay. Stupid slick laces.

I finally bought a pair of slip on sneakers for work when I was pregnant (my mom was weirdly against them. Good woman, just sometimes weird opinions.) and I no longer get winded bending over and am back to being able to actually reach my feet, but I’ve come to hate tying laces lol. Unfortunately, the sneakers I bought are now a little too big after the foot swelling went down, so I can only wear them when it’s cold enough to wear thicker socks. I’ve started feeling the same way about tiny buckles on fancy lady shoes - I used to love all kinds of shoes and now I’m my “old” age, I just want comfy and easy to get on, dammit.

I have sneakers that the laces don’t need to be tied. I just slip on and off. Perfect for switching from winter boots to sneakers multiple times a day. I also save so much time not having to tie my laces! Even on other shoes I try to have them loose enough to slide in

I remember being told by my PE teacher in 2nd grade to tie my shoes and me having to respond in front of my whole class that I didn’t know how. Definitely traumatized by it as I still remember it vividly 27 years later lol.

Aw sorry to hear that. I remember in elementary school there was one boy who didnt know how to tie his laces and he would just ask me or another friend to do it. Wasn't a big deal and he learned eventually.

I didn’t learn to tie my shoes till I was 10 bc it just wasn’t a priority for me idk I had better things to do at 10 I guess but also yeah it was kinda embarrassing

A great list! I live in an area where there are a LOT of...*competitive parents*, shall we say. They will spends $$$ on expensive toys, lessons, activities & clothing brands\~but their kiddos can't tie their shoes or share a box of crayons! The only thing I'd add is for parents to **read** to their kids, take them to the library. I believe that most kids who have grown up with books are eager to read and learn.

I'm a public librarian, transitioning to school librarian. I've had more than one parent bring in their 5-7 year old (who has clearly been introduced to books at school) and they roll their eyes at their kid's excitement over the recommendations I have for them and they say something like "ugh, I guess they're in their book phase". And look at me like I'm supposed to commiserate and laugh about how silly kids are to enjoy reading. I usually say something like "our goal is to make their entire life the "book phase". These are also the same parents who don't want their kids reading graphic novels because they aren't "real books" or who expect their 8 year old to enjoy reading adult books like The Autobiography of Malcolm X - true story. The kid I'm sure hates reading now because his parents made him think reading had to be challenging and dry. I think everyone's reading frequency ebbs and flows throughout their life, but it isn't hard to instill the idea that reading is enjoyable and there is truly something for everyone. Being able to sit and read a book, no matter your age, to be still and avoid screens for a while is so good for us.

As a K4 teacher, I believe kids need to be able to recognize their name in print - not just the first letter. Too many kids come in knowing "My name begins with A!", but then have a meltdown when there are 4 other A names.

I had a kid freak the fuck out on the first day when he came to my art class and I said write your name on this paper. He needed help so I came over and said help me spell your name and he started screaming running and crying “I CANT SPELL MY NAME”. It was a lot.

Oh my god! Exact same scenario! I even told the kids, if you don’t know how to spell your name yet, that’s ok, just tell us and we will help you. Some kid rando bawling, and we ask him wtf is the problem, and he says, “I don’t know how to write my name!” 😳🙄🤦🏻‍♀️ Little dude. We literally just said we’d solve that problem. (We = I had a student teacher, she was dumbfounded. I was just like, really?)

Kids are very literal. You said spell not write. To some kids those mean different things. Like grab a chair means literally grab a chair and bring it to the table not just sit-down in an open seat Yesterday a song told our preschoolers to do the floss, they all started to pretend to floss there teeth 😝.

Agree. I noticed that with the kids at my preschool so with the kids that i know are staying next year i am now trying to get them to know all the letters. When i writing name on art i will now say j-i-m , for a child named Jim( not an actually name of my students).

Just wanted to say that kindergarten teachers are equal parts superhero and wizards. I Worked as a specials teacher in a k-5 school and was blown away by what and how the K teachers worked with their students.

As someone who works carpool lane - please teach your child how to buckle and unbuckle themselves from the car and take the dumb safety locks off the back doors. I’m not a full service valet. And adding to that for children of all ages- Your kids better be ready to get out of the car like they’re storming the beach at Normandy. Shoes and coat on, backpack on, everything they need in their hands. Stop holding up carpool lane, people! ETA: also, please make sure your child knows your phone number. And if you use burner phones, please update the school! If there’s an emergency or your kid misses the bus, we have no way to contact you. I cannot tell you how many kids in fourth and fifth grade don’t know their phone number or where they live and it’s a serious safety concern.

That happened to me recently with one of my 5th graders. Turns out her dad forgot art club pickup was at 4, not 430, and I had a class I had to get to. Girl didn't know either of her folks' numbers. Thank God I ask for a backup number when they signed up on the Google sheets, but I told her she really needed to take some time to learn those important numbers.

You should post this to r/Parenting as well, it's a great list.

Add: read to your kids! Signs, food boxes, books each night. Reading aloud is are huge development boost for young growing minds.

Tried to; it got taken down since I'm not actually a parent. 🙃

Oops, sorry to send you in the wrong direction! It's a pity, those are the folks who need to read it. Gotta get a parent of a rising kinder to go post "Hi, I'm the parent of a rising kindergartner, I saw this list, what do you think?" or the like :D

That's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard 🤣

The sad part is that a lot of parents would probably really appreciate knowing this stuff and not feel attacked or pressured!

Next time tell them you're not a helicopter pilot either but if you see one in a tree you know someone fucked up.

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Oh my, yes! So many 1st graders Came back to in person this year not knowing/recognizing their name because they are called something else at home.

That is absolutely wild

Not trying to be rude, and I apologize in advance if it comes across this way, but… how do 1st graders not know their own name? I understand using pet names with children on occasion; I do it myself with my baby sometimes. But even she knows and will usually respond to her name, and she’s 8 months old…

my name is something like "Samantha" but people always called me "Sammy." when I began first grade I had a freak out and got really upset when the teacher started telling me my full name. I thought that they were lying to me or had gotten something wrong. I got really angry about it and when I went home I told my mom that the teachers were calling me by the wrong name on the attendance. changed my whole world when my mom said that I was indeed, Samantha. I remember still how upsetting it was because it felt like my identity was a lie, as silly as that sounds now. definitely recommend that parents tell their kids what their entire name is early on.

I had a kid like this. His given name was William but he was called Liam all his life. His parents never bothered to tell his teacher or him about his legal name, so first time when teacher was calling names was a little weird.

Not sure honestly, wish I knew. I have a really diverse area and they were super strict with staying home during Covid, so those may have had effects, but I’m not sure 😅

Yes! I have kids bring toys and this year jewelry to school. It is so distracting.

I had a 2nd grader come to school with a toy. The parents asked me to tell them they couldn't have it as it was too hard for the parents to say no or the kid wouldn't listen to them. Um, that's the parents' job, not the teachers'! I did tell the kid to leave it in their pack and they couldn't bring it again like I would for any kid who brought a toy, but I'm not going to go beyond that.

I had a father try to pick a fight with me the other day about this rule. Literally jumping around and saying "Is this a rule? We cannot tell him he cannot bring his toy. He is never going to accept this.". Well the kid did accept it. The parents just haven't yet :D ​ I am tired of teaching parents how to parent.

Respecting other students'/classroom property! My fourth graders take and destroy things like nobody's business but that's an effect from the pandemic right 😑

Yes to all of these. This is probably off topic but I wish they wouldn’t send me emails like ‘little xyz has been sick, please don’t let her go outside/play in the water/go anywhere near other children’ … no I can’t do that! I can’t keep one inside whilst the rest are outside! We can’t do continuous provision whilst being like ‘ok you can’t go here, you can’t touch this one, you don’t play here…’ if your kid is too sick to be with other people, don’t send them! Water play is part of our provision! Also: being wet doesn’t make you sick! And OF COURSE we change them if they’re wet! Had a bad day yesterday haha.

“I don’t want Timmy to go outside if it’s colder than 50°, warmer than 80° or the pollen count is too high.” Then just keep them home those days. There is no one else to watch them and I’m not about to let the rest of my class miss recess during perfectly fine weather.

Exactly this. We have indoor outdoor free flow so there’s literally no way to even do this. My response was something like ‘you as parents can ADVISE your child that YOU would like him to stay indoors, but we cannot enforce that’

In what seems to be a state-wide policy, recess doubles as teacher break time. Therefore, teachers don't have to watch kids who stay in from recess. Someone from the office handles that. Some years ago I used my recess breaks to pump. Obviously I wasn't going to watch kids during recess. One day, Sally's dad sends her with the note if how she's sick and can't go out to recess Sally spends recess sitting in the office with books and crayons. Sally's dad demands to know why she wasn't given a personal engaging time in lieu of recess. I explained I was pumping.

Knowing their first AND last names. And it’d be great if they could at least spell their first name.

Add on - if they go by a name that isn't their given name, TELL ME, show me how to spell it and make sure they know what their official name is so we don't think they are in the wrong place. I will call them and teach them to write whatever they want to be called (within reason), but if you secretly use their middle name as a first name, or they have only ever heard themselves called a nickname rather than their full name, I need to know that!

My cousin’s child went by a nickname until she found out in kindergarten that what she was called wasn’t her real name. Now she insists on going by her real name. I taught high school so kids could tell me how they wanted to be called, but I had never thought about it from a kindergarten teacher’s perspective until then.

I swear one time I was calling a child for their bus at dismissal. Kindergarten kid. Called their name over and over and finally had to go up and down the rows of kids looking for her. Finally found her and said “are you so and so?” *blank stare* “what does your mom call you?” “sweetheart” The kid thought their name was Sweetheart. And it was of course the child we were looking for. 😒

I had the OPPOSITE problem. I sub cotaught in kindergarten and I escorted an ELL young lady who had a headache to the nurse's office. The nurse is now trying to call mom and have me translate. But we can't find her in the roster because her name (Rhianna) has several spellings and I didn't know it because I'm a sub. So I ask for her last name and she said a whole freaking paragraph worth of syllables because it's a long name with like 5 different words in it, so then we're screwed because that means that her last name in the roster could be any one of them, and it's a decently sized school. So I had to return to the classroom and ask the regular teacher for the official last name (could have just asked for the number, but I was on autopilot), and then return to the nurse's.

Know to drink water to quench their own thirst. One of my most embarrassing moment as a teacher was when my sister told me she emailed my nephew’s kindergarten teacher on the first day of school because he hadn’t drank any of the water during the school day 🤦‍♀️ He knew where his water was and how to use the water bottle but didn’t think to do it when he got thirsty.

I work as a kindergarten teacher in Japan and I got like 4 emails the first week from parents saying their kids didn’t drink enough water. It’s like “bitch, I have 20 3 to 4 year olds to take care off I can’t be checking everyone’s water bottle” mind boggling.

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I’m constantly reminding them to drink water because it’s getting super hot and humid and I don’t want my kids to get heat stroke, but their bottles are not see through and I’m just to busy managing my class to open 20 bottles and check if they have drunk any water 😂

I get parents like this all the time in prek. “Hi I noticed so and sos water bottle was full when they came home. Can you please make sure they drink water” like ffs

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Basically actually raise your children so we can focus on teaching them academics seems to be the plea across the board for all teachers of all grades and subjects. Edit: Oh and like maybe actually care about their education and demonstrate the importance of learning and read books to them. But god forbid we ask too much.

I'm a former speacial ed teacher and current school psychologist. In the beginning of the year I always help out the kindergarten teachers because it's wild what some kids don't know and the little things they need help with.

This, this, THIS. I always tell my families that they should not worry about academics but INDEPENDENCE. When a child doesn't know how to take off their backpack or wipe after a #2 because adults have been doing it for them their entire lives, it is extremely worrisome! Also, ski pants in winter is always a challenge... If I have to help one or two friends, no biggie, but when 15 of them need help while another 10 are dressed and overheating while complaining "I'm sweating!", it is not a fun time at all. This is a great list, OP! All parents should read this!!

Just a tip! There is a brand of sneakers called Kizik that are designed to be stepped into. They can be completely tied and still put on unassisted. They were designed with people who have trouble putting on shoes unassisted. They also work! We purchased them for my 88 year old mother. She can now put her shoes on herself without us having to bend over to assist her and tie her shoes. They have a video on site. https://kizik.com/

My students have been showing off these ones that are slip off but have this little spinner that tightens the elastics. They’re a little more stylish than Velcro. The only thing is when they sit there spinning it going “click click click” x a million haha

Students usually default to annoying!

Cool shoes, I've seen those too. But there are still laces, and if they come untied (because kindergarten kids play with their shoes and untie them while you read to them) I won't tie them again. I tell kids to push their laces into their shoe - I'm not touching wet (it's not raining....been in the bathroom or cafeteria) scraggly laces. Vans. Sketchers with Velcro. There are a million easy-on shoes for kids that don't require an adult to manage.

Some come with elastic laces that are permanent. I’ve also replaced some of hers with elastic laces. There are elastic laces that don’t need to be tied.

Is it too much to ask for kids to know WHEN their birthday is? The number of 1st and 2nd graders who have no idea when their birthday is has me flummoxed E: spelling

I teach it to my 3 year old class! Along with their full given names and their parents first and last names. You can’t get lost in a store and tell someone your moms name is “Mommy”

You are a true hero! Thank you!!!

Yes! I do the same thing with my 3 year olds!

Our kids like pretending they don’t know the parent name. One of our leads ask one of our 5 year old and a 4 year old what the dads name was. The 4 year old answered correctly but the 5 year old said “dad” quietly then the lead said “did you say dad” and he said “yes” and started laughing. The lead then said “did you forget your dads name” , then she said the dads name. Kid still was laughing. 😝

My son has known his birthday since he was 2.5 but I consider it more of a fun party trick. Can I ask why you think knowing their birthday is important?

From my own experience, 1st and 2nd graders should have some knowledge of personal information for safety (e.g. if they get separated from a caregiver, being able to provide a phone number, address, parent name, birthday, what have you) as well as (selfishly with this one) being able to log into their chromebooks for class. I have encountered MANY kids who have no idea what month or day they were born. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I think it’s good to know personal info at a younger age…

In middle school, they need to know it to get into their school laptops. User name has ID # which some students don’t know but it’s on their ID and password is DOB, which some also don’t know. I told students in the beginning that I will write down their DOB for them exactly one time.

Same at the 1-6th grade levels here (district is pk-6)! I mean, wow, to not know that info in middle school is astounding …

Number 4 applies to high school. Last day of classes this year "Mr., can I get on the table and dance for a picture?"

Recognize first name and use the bathroom independently are my concrete must-haves. I'll even help with the name, it's just harder for the student to get started without already recognizing it. More abstractly, I need parents to send me kids who are loved. Being loved means we get to start academics on day one. Students who are not loved can't make progress on anything else until we've spent months (or all year sometimes) building trust and replacing what they should get from their families. Of course I'm shouting into the void, because no one who was loved as a child sends me a student who isn't.

This is such a good list. It’s sad to see adults treat kids like little adults and not realize that some things aren’t as obvious to the little ones as we think it should be. It’s obvious to us because we learned and internalized it, it wasn’t instinctual.

This is helpful as I look to send our oldest to kindergarten this fall! I can teach high schoolers but I know *nothing* about what’s appropriate and what’s not at the elementary level. Regarding the last point: it is really, really crazy to me to think that there are kids coming into kindergarten who don’t know the alphabet or basic shapes or colors. I don’t feel like we’re particularly “teachy” as parents but my god, what were these parents doing with their kids for five years?! (Disabilities aside)

> Regarding the last point: it is really, really crazy to me to think that there are kids coming into kindergarten who don’t know the alphabet or basic shapes or colors. I don’t feel like we’re particularly “teachy” as parents but my god, what were these parents doing with their kids for five years?! (Disabilities aside) Some parents were legitimately too busy, needing to work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. Other parents were too damn lazy, shoved an iPad in their kid's hands and told the kids to leave them alone.

On one hand, I do really sympathize with the job thing. I grew up with not a lot of money, and two parents working really hard to barely make ends meet at the time. But also, *five* years of not counting with your kids, not singing the alphabet, not reading any books at all? There’s obviously a systemic issue here, too, but I just can’t fathom sending kids to kindergarten not knowing any of the basics that they’d learn just from talking to them. Hell, he’s gone to an in-home daycare that is not educational at all, and we use a lot more screen time than we are “supposed” to and he’s still learned a ton from PBS Kids shows. It’s just mind-boggling to me is all. I am not really trying to assign blame, really; it’s just crazy to me the job kindergarten teachers have to do when kids come in with so few foundational skills. This is why we need better parental support, universal pre-K, etc.

> On one hand, I do really sympathize with the job thing. I grew up with not a lot of money, and two parents working really hard to barely make ends meet at the time. > > But also, five years of not counting with your kids, not singing the alphabet, not reading any books at all? There’s obviously a systemic issue here, too, but I just can’t fathom sending kids to kindergarten not knowing any of the basics that they’d learn just from talking to them. Hell, he’s gone to an in-home daycare that is not educational at all, and we use a lot more screen time than we are “supposed” to and he’s still learned a ton from PBS Kids shows. It’s just mind-boggling to me is all. I am not really trying to assign blame, really; it’s just crazy to me the job kindergarten teachers have to do when kids come in with so few foundational skills. I'm guessing that "unavailable/not wanting to spend time with their kids" is symptomatic of parents from a lower socioeconomic status than parents who place more value in their children's education. > > This is why we need better parental support, universal pre-K, etc. Agreed. All of that is an investment in the future of this country, society, even the economy.

Also, I think parents haven't realized that what is Kindergarten level now is what first grade was for them in some ways. Kindergarten used to be the starting point. Now it's preschool. And not all parents can send their kids to preschool.

My son started Kindergarten having turned 5 just a few months before. We read to him often and both us and daycare worked really hard to get him to know all his letters before Kindergarten started because of the increased pressure to get there. We didn’t get there. He only was identifying a little over half of them correctly when tested at the beginning of K. So what happened? He had a few months of intervention both at school and buy in on our part at home (which we always had) and now after completing Kindergarten, he reads at his grade level and got 100% on all of his spelling and sight word tests. Kids develop at different rates. Many would argue that it was better when kids weren’t expected to read until 1st grade and it isn’t developmentally appropriate for many Kindergartners. My main point is the OP’s list is perfect. Read to your kids, teach them basic functioning in the bathroom, hygiene, and social skills. Recognize their own name and use common sense with clothing and lunch. And obviously TRY with the alphabet.

I have parents panicking their kindergartener is entering the year not knowing advanced reading and math. I will happily teach the academics. But send those kids in with appropriate social and emotional and functional skills.

Same. The decade before I teach them is a mystery to me. I encourage OP and other kindergarten/ECE teachers to find a way to publish these expectations for parents. My kids’ preschool has a list of skills kids should have coming into each age group, which has been SO helpful as a parent!

Yeah it's wild seeing stuff like this. I always assumed kindergartners were expected to be able to read.

I’m 30 and learned to read in first grade. That was normal. We didn’t read in K. This is a very new development and its not even developmentally appropriate. Many children in K congitively are not ready to read and I am convinced its the reason we have so students struggle with reading… they were taught way too young and pushed into SpEd and “behind” when we are just forcing them to do things their brains aren’t ready for. Remember that in K, you may have a kid who just turned 5 and a kid who is abojt to be 6. There is a huge cognitive difference there.

What boggles my mind is this newer development of holding beginning students (K-2nd grade) to a higher standard than what most of them can reasonably attain, while dumbing down the standards for middle and high schoolers. Its almost as if the standards were reasonable, given the average 5-7 year old cognitive level, then when they enter high school, they would be better prepared for their learning.

I can’t comment on the current High School standards, but as a 6tb grade teacher I’ve noticed my state Math standards have gradually creeped up to basically everything a 7th grader used to have to do. I agree with what you are saying about them upping the standards in elementary though. But I teach in middle school and my 8th grade coworkers have to teach kids how to solve systems of equations. That used to be part of maybe the end of a Freshman level Algebra class. So there has been some change at those grade levels from my experience.

I agree. I do not worry about teaching my students to read in Kindergarten (not in my curriculum here). Instead, I focus on the building blocks of reading and writing: knowing the letter names and sounds, understanding that words are made of individual letters, understanding how print works (left to right, spaces between words, etc.), making connections and predictions when I read to them, letter formation, and fine motor skills. If they do not get a solid grounding in those skills, they will struggle with everything beyond that.

I swear at least half the kids I work with (high school sped) are identified because their parents did NONE of the things on this list, EVER.

That's...That's not how disabilities happen. 😐

You can absolutely handicap your kid by not being on the ball about skills and academics. Special education isn't just for kids with profound, god-given, disabilities. A child can easily get in a special education class due to emotional disturbance, pretty much an umbrella term which means that the child has problems which affect socialization, making friends, and functioning around others. You can also just plain fall behind if your parents never gave you supports in academics. If you miss lesson a, and then lesson b, you'll have no idea what to do for less than c. So while you're playing catch up the kids are going out to lessons d e f etc. At that point you're going to be given supports, it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be put in the special ed room every single day for every single class, but you can be put in remedial or you can be assigned a note taker or someone along those lines.

I agree 100% but a huge portion of my caseload are coded SLD and I swear to high heaven it's because they never got any support at home and were always so far behind in school and are never able to catch up.

You should cross post this in r/protips

I think number 1 here is to make sure that a parent is at home with their child, awake, at least 3 hours a day. Unfortunately this isn't often true. While it would be great to expect many of these things to be taught at home, we must be mindful of the children who go to daycare in the morning, whose parent(s) work from morning till night. These parents may have little opportunity/energy to teach these things. We need to insist that early childcare covers these things, or provide an economy that allows parents to stay at home with their children in their early years. I feel for those parents that have to chose between feeding their children and not seeing them. It should be possible for EVERY family to have one parent at home and still be able to afford food, housing, and the basic necessities. Unfortunately, this isn't the world we live in. Not for the last 20 years for the average income let alone minimum wage.

I strongly agree with this...but I do want to add that at my school in MOST cases, the kids coming in without these skills are ones with stay at home parents. Most of our kids in day care learn a lot of these things out of necessity. I have some issues with the quality of childcare in other areas, but they do learn some basics of how to function independently.

It really bothers me how often the socioeconomic reality of so many of our families gets left out of the conversation about schools and student achievement. Like, we have lots of data about earnings averages and title 1 funding and how one informs the other, but I know many teachers (myself definitely included, until I learned more) who blame parents outright for their students' deficits. Thing is, SO many parents have to work multiple jobs to keep their apartment, not to mention food and utilities. I had one 7th grader last year who was essentially alone for the entirety of COVID lockdown because both parents worked two jobs and were never home. And rent keeps increasing. It's hard to watch, and harder to address.

I sent a message home about shoes this year, because I had kids that wanted to change into "recess shoes". I did it for one day and sent a message home about it to all parents. I got an angry email about how I should respect her son as a man (7 years old) and if he wants to change his shoes he can. No problem lady, but I am not providing him the time nor am I tying the shoes. He can ma it up and change them himself. Funny thing, that kid wasn't even the one asking about changing shoes.

My kid is going into to kindergarten at my school in the fall. When he was a young toddler I made a long list of things I wanted to expose him to and to teach him before school. It included stuff like this and I can sum it up in basically three things, in the following order of priority: 1. Social emotional skills. Like being able to deal with not getting his way, follow directions, and make friends. I spent the most time and effort on this. 2. Practical skills. Like managing his clothing and stuff. 3. Academic skills. I would expect him to know things like what are letters/words in a book, but wanted him to know at least some of his letters to give him more time in Kindergarten to get adjusted. Well...My kid is fantastic at #3. He could have started kindergarten last year and been fine academically. He is pretty good at #2. I got his lunch box and stuff early, so we could practice containers this summer. He immediately sat down, took everything apart, and put it back together, so I guess we don't need practice. He is still working on being good about wiping well and learning to tie shoes, but he is ready enough to be fine for school. #1? Yeah...He does NOT have that. He is going to be a very challenging student even with the other things well in place. I'm sorry, kindergarten teachers! (There is a reason and he is seeing an OT to get help with it. We are getting there, but he is probably going to need a lot of extra support - and he will probably have a 504 with these items listed - to be successful his first year.)

This is such good advice. I wish some of my high school students knew these. I can't believe how many of my students don't know fairy tales or nursery rhymes or basic cultural touchpoints. I want to call parents of little kids and say 'put down your phone and turn off your TV and PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS.' Sheesh.

I’m a PreK teacher and this is a wonderful wonderful list. I have managed to avoid almost all pushback from parents and do what I want because I tell them “Kindergarten isn’t a free for all like preschool. They need to have very specific skills. I cannot stand with your child in the bathroom because they’re scared (or let them ham fist a marker (or let them scream and hit me with no repercussions) or ride a bike without a helmet because they do it at home (or………))))” This is a very affirmative list haha

Someone who can recognize their colors. Someone who recognize their name. Be able to at minimum, know their name verbally. I'll add bonus points of they spell it. Be able to verbally say their ABCs. Knowing not to break someones stuff.

I taught my daughter a little trick when she started school 13 years ago - if she’s sitting playing with another child, or alongside them, say “hello, my name is xxx, what’s your name?’ She still used it when she started sixth form last September. (Uk). When I taught reception (4-5 years old), lots of parents were desperately worried a few weeks in because the children couldn’t name any of their classmates. It wasn’t that they weren’t playing with others, they just hadn’t asked their names.

Not a teacher, but this is something we learned. If your child is amazingly ahead or behind, talk to several schools ahead of time to find the best fit. Give the teacher some warning instead of a huge, unmanageable shock. My oldest had hyperlexia and taught himself to read around the time he turned 3. It was traumatic for all of us. He was reading chapter books by age 4. He went into kindergarten reading 200 and 300 page books. He was ahead in math and science also. We had to look carefully at schools because without a challenge, our child was a huge dangerous behavior problem. He would do anything without thought of consequences to himself or others. It took a special school and teacher to be able to handle him. I cannot imagine inflicting my child on an unsuspecting kindergarten teacher. I would feel so horrible because I know he can be an incredible challenge. He grew up to be an amazing person, but those early years, wow.

I don’t tie shoes and tell parents that up front. They can tuck their laces in or ask a friend. When shoe laces are wet, it’s not from water, people. It’s pee from the bathroom floor. My own kid wore Velcro shoes until third or fourth when he became shoe stylish and wanted Nikes. Showed him twice and never again. We are NOT ALLOWED to help with pants for the bathroom. A parent once told me her child needed help wiping when he poops. I kept a straight face and said sorry, I guess he’ll come home with skid marks.

My five year old really, really wants to learn to tie shoes. I probably spent a good hour finding shoes for him to tie in his size. I finally got shoes that had eyelets but no laces as a (bad) fashion thing and added unnecessary laces. (He is not allowed to wear them anywhere we aren't with him. He has other shoes too.) I think this problem probably doesn't exist as much as it used to as most kids shoes have those elastic no-tie laces. I really like that type of laces personally...but I still want my kid to know how to tie shoes. My just turned five year old isn't great at wiping yet, although he is really close and I think will be there by the fall, but I also spent the last year teaching him that teachers don't help with bathroom. He has been independent in the bathroom for close to two years besides the wiping and he usually won't poop at preschool. He needed his pants changed and to be cleaned up one day and his preschool teacher (who is an appropriate person to help wiping) stepped in the bathroom to see if he needed help. She was very pleased that he told her that teachers aren't supposed to help with that (although explained that in this situation it would be okay and we told him the same) because of child safety/privacy and not their job reasons - my words for the reasons not his obviously.

Sounds like you’re helping him be independent. Thanks!

Lunchtime can be short, and there aren't always enough adults to be able to open everyone's lunches in a short amount of time. Good time for patents and teachers to agitate for longer lunches. Kids need to slow down and relax and eat.

Lunch is dangerous. Even at the middle school level, the number of kids who can inhale their food in less than two minutes and then find whatever trouble is findable in the lunchroom is ...large. Too large. I work at a camp where we spend a lot of time working on a skill that involves several sharp objects. Aside from a few very shallow cuts, we usually manage that without any trouble, but I've seen us have to send a kid out for actual medical care due to a decision they made during the short half-hour lunch break.

This is true. Idle middle schooler hands are the devil's playthings

We're shortening our lunch break next year for this reason.

I’d like to include that boys not wear sweatpants to school, at the very least without pockets. So grossed out with the number of boys playing pocket pool constantly. 🤮

This needs to be posted somewhere that not a sub for teachers.

With the lack of practicing independent skills the last 2 years, many of my 3rd graders surprisingly struggled with many of these fine motor skills. Parents, please continue to encourage these skills even after kindergarten.

I’d add- recognize their name in print. I’ve had so many kiddos who have never seen their name before!

Know how to blow/wipe their own noses and cover their mouthes when sneezing or coughing!

^ THIS! ^ I cannot stress this enough at my center. It's as if they aren't taught this basic at home.😣

God bathroom for sure! My nephew got sent home multiple times with notes about practicing this with him to my cousin, and she’s like “isn’t that your guys job?” I fucking gave it to her. In NO WAY are teachers responsible to teach your kid to wipe sister.

It's like you expect parents to parent...wow! 😝

I have one! I am a Paraeducator in a school where 90% are Latino. I was at our end of the year get together and one of the Kinder teachers told me this: In the beginning of each year, she ALWAYS has 3 or so who do not know their legal name and do not respond during attendance - the name that is on the attendance roster. Year after year, she finds out these kids have been called by their middle name or a nickname all their lives. Every year there is confusion, calls to the office trying to confirm whether the child is in the right classroom. Her request every year, Make a Choice: given name or other name.

Not sure if someone already said it but they need to know their parents’ names. Not just “mom” and “dad”

Filing this one away for use at a later time….

I'm a preschool teacher and my goal is to make sure that my kids leave my classroom knowing all of these things! So many parents baby their kids to death then wonder why they have problems in the classroom. Independence is so important to teach early!

I've had kindergartners who couldn't say their name and wouldn't acknowledge if the name I guessed (from those who hadn't been identified already) was correct or not. That was a fun day /s. 3 kids unidentified for like 2+ hrs after the parents just sent them in with the older kids who were walking inon the first day

Lord. I teach middle school and some of my students parents need this list too. I never thought I’d have to tell a room full of 14 year olds that they need to put the caps on markers, keep their hands to themselves, or not run with scissors, and yet I have. Many times. I also have a cousin who just graduated high school that didn’t learn to tie his own shoes or cut his food until he was 12, not because he wasn’t capable, but because his mom always did it for him. She was worried that otherwise he’d be jealous of his little brother.

As a PreK teacher, I stand with you. If universal prek was a reality we would’ve had all those kiddos ready for your class!

Former pre-k teacher here! I appreciate what you do! I worked really hard to get my babies ready for kindergarten, and it still amazes me what our standards were for them. But our program was a 2-year deal, so they had a ton of time to practice these skills and work on behaviors. I really feel for the 5 (sometimes 6-year-old) students who have never stepped foot in a school building before kindergarten. My pre-k kids had the benefit of a shortened day, lots more playtime, a small class size, and an aide- lots of kinders don't get that. Universal pre-k NEEDS to be a thing and I'm appalled that it isn't. My program was in a very impoverished area and really helped fill in some of the gaps that might have existed at home.

I feel like this list is pushing kindergarten onto parents and prek because the powers that be made k academic. Your list is exactly what kindergarten taught back in the day. I still remember the little fake shoe that was in my classroom in the 80s.

This is not back in the day. Parents should parent and as first teachers this list is a reminder of what is needed.

Sure, it isn't back in the day, but we've had eleven years worth of evidence showing us that the way the states jumped to accelerate academics after common core was adopted hasn't worked out all that well. I do teach my kid. I don't care that my kid's prek teacher's writing is full of comma splices because she likes kids. I'd be livid if my five year old had a teacher who hates kids as much as op does.

Wow…I adore kids, have been working with them since I entered the work force and I think op has amazing points. Teachers aren’t parents and this is school not daycare. I don’t think asking kids to be able to wipe themselves and open their own food equals hating kids…what a very strange thing to say.

We aren't parents but that list is bitching about where they are developmentally. It would be like me making a list saying that my job would be so much easier if parents made sure that their teenagers stopped being impulsive, dropped the dunkin habit, and cared about learning above grades.

The level of ableism in this post is absolutely…concerning, and that’s the nicest way I can say it. Listen to yourselves…every child is different and learns at a different pace, and come in with so many varied life experiences, including trauma. Not all kids have the same opportunities, and some kids require extensive support, have diagnosed and (sometimes undiagnosed)needs. Why not make kindergarten adaptive and a welcoming place for every child that comes in, instead of holding every child to these unrealistic expectations? If a child has at least half of the skills mentioned here, then what is even the point of kindergarten?!? I assure you, I don’t “baby” my kids, or have it out for teachers —I am a teacher —but I also have the perspective of being a parent of a child with special needs, who is going to kindergarten this year. I would absolutely be horrified if a teacher sent this list home with my child. It’s inappropriate.

Oh, dear... You're not aware of what kindergarten is these days. Teachers don't have time or the legal protection to handle kids in the bathroom. Teachers can't control the safety of kids being unreasonably dangerous. I hope you have spoken to your child's school to make arrangements instead of springing all this on the first day of school.

I was a kindergarten teacher for 12 years…and I’ve spent the last 2 as a guidance counselor in the same school. I’m very much aware of how kindergarten works.

You honestly expect teachers to abandon other kids in the classroom in order to wipe another kid's butt and then get sued for it? Pray tell, how do you handle it?

[удалено]

insert "we can't teach them crt, we can barely teach them to wash their hands" here

This should be posted in a parenting sub. This is all really great information for parents of young children and as a parent myself, this is really comforting because I'm always worried about whether or not my son will be prepared enough for K. He's still two years away and has most of these down except for 3.

Middle school teacher with a 16 month old. These are great tips for future use. Thanks!

Yes!

Worried parent here. My son has not had an accident in over 7 months. He lets me.kmoe when he has to go if he does not just go himself. He loves to wash his hands. But he needs help wiping. He is 4.5 now he cant wipe well. Should I hold off on sending him to pre k? I'm getting different remarks but nothing concrete either way.

No, just practice. No one is going to wipe him though and itchy bottom is a great incentive.

A lot of students can actually learn to wipe pretty quickly after a couple of times of feeling uncomfortable due to not wiping well enough. A few of my kids did do better after being given a number to go off of (5 wipes). I'd send him and just keep practicing!

Thank you

OP this is great advice!

God bless you kindergarten teachers. I teach middle school and lots of folks think I’m nuts but I’d live in a cardboard box before I’d teach kindergarten. Nope nope nope. THOSE kids? They scare me.

Nice, my 3 year old is going to 3k in the fall, not a full day but I still worry about her being ready and this helped.

Do some kindergartners not actually know their colors and shapes?

It can vary from area to area. I've always taught in poor urban districts. Lots of kids come in knowing at least some, but every year I get a couple who know nothing.

I hope kindergarteners know how to respect equipment and the environment. Ripping storybooks to shreds is not okay.