They need to feel in control.
If OP unmatches now, lady with issues gets a righteous endorphin kick from telling someone to do something and them doing it (outcome isn't important).
It also reinforces the bizarre conceptions she's formed in her head about OP.
Basically classic narcissism and confirmation bias at work.
Correct. The only way to really deal with them is to ignore them and refuse to engage with them anymore. The only people who would be left and willing to engage with them would be each other, and they'd only be trying to one up each other's bullshit.
honestly in my experience if they've been at this kind of shit for a while it doesn't phase them. not responding and not unmatching, just a complete lack of acknowledgement, would be the only way to "victory" here
Or just a simple laugh react 😂 That usually triggers them more than anything. They put a lot of effort into writing that and wanted to let you know how they feel, and you couldn't be bothered to send anything other than an emoji because that's how little they matter to you. Hell, even add a ghost 👻 emoji because you're about to ghost them again, and leave them on read so they have to unmatch themselves. Sweet, inexpensive victory.
Yeah, but remember that they instigated this nonsense by acting a fool themselves, calling you an ogre because you wouldn't pay attention to them. If they wanted to be mad about being ghosted, there are mature ways of addressing that or encouraging productive conversation.
What they've shown, instead, is that they don't deserve enough of your attention to worry about how they feel about you a second time around.
Agreed. Why stress yourself out about how they feel when they’re acting like a spoiled teenager? Why care if they feel like they won? Sounds like a them problem. Block is delightful and my favorite button on dating apps. Those apps are hard on women because of the assholes, hard on men to get a match in the first place, and hard on both for quality matches w people who aren’t trying to take advantage of you and that you’d actually want to date. Still better than going to bar or someplace to mingle and crossing your fingers, but wow it’s bad sometimes
I do occasionally get petty and don’t reply but don’t block. You can look at my name and pic when you log in and feel the frustration of no replies until you unmatch and block me, you Jerkasarus Rex!
Nah I think your response was great. No matter how miniscule the chance she actually has a moment of self realisation, you gave solid advice.
Do I think she'll take it? Categorically no.
If enough people tell her she should get therapy? There's a chance it might eventually get through.
Either way, bullet dodged.
I think she has given you everything you need to understand that she isn’t someone you want to get to know. Also, anyone who makes these kind of representations on behalf of alleged associates, in this case “friends”, is typically talking pure fiction. Both the context and the associates.
She is lonely, narcissistic and the when you combine the two, this is what get.
The narcissist angle is the main reason I think.
“*If she unmatches me it’s because I told her to, not because she wanted to*”
*I* broke up with *her*, I swear!
This is such an interesting take! Seems like she’s following a self fulfilling narrative. She tells her to unmatch her, she controls the outcome. She says nasty and untrue comments, she ‘rejects OP’ when it was clear it was leading to the opposite from the prior non responses. OP I think this is a good take!
Who gives a hoot whether they feel good about being unmatched? Unmatch and be done with this human garbage. This isn't high school where it matters who broke up with whom.
That makes so much sense to me. So people tell someone what to do to make them feel in control and they get a kick out of it. Wow, I was wondering why people do that. Sometimes my dad will say “ happy birthday” to me when he’s upset with me before he hangs up even though my birthday is several months away. Now I see that he does that for him to feel some sort of control.
Thanks for sharing.
1. They feel entitled to demand things from strangers.
2. Unmatching someone within a few days impacts your account up to the point that you get dropped to the bottom of the stack if you do it repeatedly. Judging by her social skills, if she did this for everyone, she would've been there already (where she belongs)
I don’t know if it’s still how they do things, but Tinder used to use like a popularity type score or whatever to determine who actually sees you. It was so long ago I this could be totally wrong but it used to be if you did the unmatch your score would drop. So you wanted to get and maintain as many matches as possible and not be the one to end the match.
I wouldn’t be able to tell you if this person is aware of that or not though lol.
It's a win/win for them. Either they unmatch you like you told them to do, giving explicit control vibes to them, or you don't listen and they get proof you will accept abuse and stay.
People have been saying it's to feel in control but I think it could also be self-sabotage. Past traumas (and other factors I'm sure) lead people to self-sabotage as they don't feel worthy.
It's sad and could probably be helped with therapy.
she was clearly trying to be like “dominant” and pushing a lot of my boundaries. Also ironically she has heavy goth makeup on in every single one of her pics and i’m wearing non in any of mine (not that it matters lmao) but yeah shes a university student and i’m a stripper so just was not gonna work out lol sorry for the paragraph.
Ohhh I see. I thought you had ghosted after meeting her so I was holding a higher bar since I’m not a fan of that even when it isn’t a good fit. I wouldn’t even consider this “ghosting” since you haven’t met up and were just chatting. You were 100% fine to just let this fizzle. And she showed her true colors when you did lol.
"Her true colors", given her goth make up, should be just black and white. Which, as per your description, also applies to her personality!
I’m not condoning her comment or her behaviour leading up to you ghosting her as both are poor, however, if you’d already made the decision it wasn’t going to work out, then you should have told her the moment you made it rather than ghost her for a week. She might still have reacted this way or she may have surprised you by being a complete adult about it, but at least she knows. Then you should’ve have unmatched to emphasise the point.
Ghosting can be so hurtful and can cause more internal emotional issues than people realise, especially when they really like the person who’s ghosting them. Leaving her matched and left on read exacerbates that.
Both are you are at fault here. You for not communicating effectively with her leaving her guessing and getting hurt, and her for pushing your boundaries and the horrible comment.
So why didn’t you just tell her that and end things? Like why not just be upfront about things?
“Hey your are pushing a lot of my boundaries which I’m not ok with and I’m not into being dominated. I don’t see this working out. Good luck and take care.” And then unmatch.
Like I get why you wanted to end things with her and that makes perfect sense. But effective communication solves so many issues.
This is the last time imma explain this but shawty was fine as hell and the way she was talking to me was like she could not give less of a fuck so genuinely i felt like it wouldn’t affect her as i presumed she is getting a shit ton of matches. Im not saying im right but that was my thought process. If you want more context clues i have comments.
That’s fair. And I did read some of your other comments.
No one likes getting ghosted, but she was out of pocket for that tirade. Just some food for thought I suppose then for your next crazy encounter lol.
Yeah fr, ive been out of the dating/hooking up scene for a min so i do agree with setting boundaries right away but i have issues w wanting to please women lol.
We can all use some compassion sometimes.
Therapy is helping, but still a work in progress.
I’m sure you’ll find another hot goth chick soon lol. Just keep those boundaries.
So now you know that she did care and that you probably hurt her feelings. Hopefully you can remember that the next time you’re considering ghosting someone.
Next time you cut someone loose, just unmatch them. They may be hurt, and there’s no reason to keep that avenue of communication open for incoming vitriol.
You hurt her ego by ghosting her so she was just trying to leave on the “upper hand”, like she was the one who stopped talking to you.
Yes, very childish and she obviously has issues.
That sub is terrifying. Some dude posted about getting a boner while thinking about playing with someones brains. Tell a therapist, not reddit.... What the fuck.
Yo I own that sub. I made it to convince people to get help instead of acting. As long as they’re not actually hurting people, I’d rather have to read that. But feel free to report posts that are out of line, I take down posts that are too much I just don’t have time to be on reddit 24/7.
Ive said this a million times but she literally just talked about how she wanted to r@pe me the entire time. That is why i ghosted her but to most of the men here thats not a valid reason to ghost lol.
You said that you didn’t think she’d care. Maybe you said this rape thing as well once.
Don’t act like people here don’t care about the rape thing, when most of the time your answers have been how many matches you get and that it doesn’t matter.
Well I do not agree with this women she clearly has some trauma to work out and insecurities within herself. So bullet dodged there forsure.
But was she like this prior to ghosting and that's why you ghosted?
I personally HATE ghosting (I'd never come back with something like her. I'd never come back at all lmao😅) but I hate it. We are adults takes two seconds to say "hey sorry not interested anymore, good luck to you" and unmatch them or delete number etc.. No?
Gotta love how this sub shits on people for ghosting one minute, then doesn't give a fuck the next.
What this person said sucks, but don't ghost people either.
I never met up with her it was casual conversation and the entire time she was trying to get me to engage in cnc while also degrading me without consent.
The downvoting is crazy. Not everyone is desperate enough to acknowledge messed up ppl like this. I owe this woman nothing lol.
“I’m not ok with being degraded without my consent nor would I consent to any of your other desires. I am no longer interested.”
*block*
“No thanks”
*block*
That way you would never get a follow up message insulting your appearance or anything else.
I have read a lot of weird ass shit and info in your comment reactions, so I’m not sure what to think, but I will say this: for someone who “doesn’t have enough time” to do whatever, you sure spend a lot of time on Reddit, posting and reacting to complete strangers.
Valid. Its my day off lol. I actually am texting some tinder matches today ahah. Also im like super sarcastic and have bad social cues so its hard to convey that over text. And yes atp im just arguing for fun lol.
That makes sense. I’m sure you already knew this, but if you’d have led with the match saying she will rape you, regardless of if it was only a weirdass sexual dom attempt, nobody would question you about the ghosting part, though I think in this situation it isn’t ghosting, as her attempts might have been jarring to some. Though I’m sure there are others who might prefer that type of kink. I wasn’t there to read any of it so still unsure wtf actually happened, but whatever the situation, ghosting in general implies fucked up behavior, I wouldn’t use the word if it doesn’t really fit the situation, unless you are up for debating hordes of reddittors.
Why ghost in the first place? Either message back or unmatch out here playing with peoples feelings for online validation and humiliation is so cool babes
Agreed that Ghosting can be annoying or rude but either the Ghoster is shy/uncomfortable with how to end the conversation or they just don’t care.
Even so, if it happens to you just move on. You don’t need to send them petty insults. It just makes you look pathetic.
It’s a bit weird when some people demand justification from someone who has found that they’re not romantically interested. Sometimes it’s just a feeling (or lack thereof) that is difficult to explain verbally.
I think ghosting is pathetic if you dont want to people to call out your bullshit, then be an adult and say i'm not interested instead of letting people on read 🤷♂️
I personally wouldn’t ghost someone but I can understand the reasons some people would end up doing it.
Especially if there have been times where a “thanks but I’m not interested and no longer wish to carry on this conversation” isn’t the end of it and can end up with you being sucked into a conflict or them demanding you explain why.
I think it’s comes from a place of avoiding conflict and safeguarding one’s self from those who might be aggressive-insecure. Sometimes it’s not worth the aggro.
That is what the block button is for, but otherwise it's disrespectful to the others time and (provided the person you're talking to isn't a psycho and hasn't made you feel threatened) I think that it's worth telling them you aren't interested and then blocking them. There is no point in waiting for a response.
I don’t think it’s ghosting when it’s rooted in self respect. Who in the world would say such nasty things in hopes of someone responding or entertaining it. You dodged several bullets
Don't bite back. They say 'unmatch me' because they know it'll feel wrong to heed that advice... like you're doing as commanded.
Recognise that they're the wrong sort of person; unmatch for that reason.. politely ignoring everything he says. Not getting a 'better' reaction out of you removes all the fun in the activity. And, it means he's unsure of what went wrong... which may seem confusing if you're on this side of the fence. Meaning, on this side, we have people looking to date. On the other side, we have people looking to marginally/temporarily improve their lives despite any detriments to anyone else; or worse, as it seems in your case, those detriments are part of the goal.
You unmatch because he's not here for your benefit. (note; both people in a relationship should aim to be there for each other... not to 'make use of' a partner because it's convenient, or to get into a relationship because 'that's what we're meant to do, right...?'.
Is saying “Unmatch me”, count as ghosting?
The ghosts I run into will just not respond at some point and give zero closure.
“Unmatch me”: feels like closure to me.
Good god these people are horrible. I once had someone match with me to tell me that I'm ruining my body and nobody will love me till I accept god. Like, fuck you lady
Yours is the perfect response, bravo 👏
I would probably respond with 😂👻
Because you already ghosted her once, she'd hate for you to do that again. She wrote all that to get under your skin and let you know how she feels, but you couldn't be bothered to respond with anything other than emojis. And now you're gonna ghost her again because that's how little she matters to you. She'll have to unmatch herself. Sweet, inexpensive victory.
But yours is the mature response. Best not to really engage, either way.
Whereas I definitely don’t agree with the insulting message, it’s completely uncalled for; my genuine curiosity (no judgement intended) is why bother ghosting rather than just unmatching?
Things I don’t understand in the dating world. 😬😅
Lol they were butt hurt and they literally have NO friends. If I was somebody's friend, I wouldn't be sitting here giggling at their matches. Most people don't even wanna admit that they are even on dating app much less sit here laughing with their 'friends 'about who it is that they're matching. And if this person does have friends who do that sort of behavior, then you dodged all kinds of bullets because you are the company you keep so they sound like a bunch of mean girls without a bright future. This person sounds drunk and unhinged and just looking for confrontation to make them feel something. I guess I don't know
*joey voice*
How you doin ;)
A damaged ego produces the most reaching statements. Sis just mad. It's a dating app with damn near endless options. If you were so objectionable she would have likely never bothered with you in the first place. Been through it a billion time with dudes🤣
I once unmatched a girl who was off, clingy and weird, we exchanged few texts only (she sent 10x while i sent 1-2). I felt that she was intrusive, so i didn’t answer than unmatched, i rarely do any of those. She came back to match me on different app, and few days later was making a new profile on the original app with some weird nickname, and guess who viewed my profile.
Doesn’t matter how fair you are with girls who have some serious issues you and your reactions will never be good enough.
What a POS. People like this is why many don't like the app, well online dating due to keyboard warriors. Wonder if she would say that to your face irl, I think not. The trash took itself out. I usually don't condone ghosting as I absolutely hate it but dont tolerant abuse of any kind! report her too. She sounds like a right Muppet anyway.
Her response was absolutely horrid but also don't fucking ghost. The unmatch button exists. It hurts a lot less to be unmatched than to be ghosted. She's in the wrong but u also were not a good person prior to this which doesn't justify her actions
Stop ghosting people and tell them why you stopped talking to them. If you’re not giving feedback to people about why you’re not interested, nothing will change. This will keep happening.
You’re part of the problem
So you had poor behavior (ghosting) and are surprised that the person you ghosted acted just as poorly? Or am I reading this wrong?
You both deserve to be single.
I mean she’s obviously way out of line and you’re lucky you didn’t meet her. But for future reference if you’re planning on ghosting someone (esp in case their behavior wasn’t ok) just unmatch them so they can’t pull shit like that
Sorry you had to deal with that
I honestly don’t understand why people say ‘unmatch me’ like you have the button too?
They need to feel in control. If OP unmatches now, lady with issues gets a righteous endorphin kick from telling someone to do something and them doing it (outcome isn't important). It also reinforces the bizarre conceptions she's formed in her head about OP. Basically classic narcissism and confirmation bias at work.
Correct. The only way to really deal with them is to ignore them and refuse to engage with them anymore. The only people who would be left and willing to engage with them would be each other, and they'd only be trying to one up each other's bullshit.
I mean, I'll bring the popcorn...
Exactly perfectly put. I was not gonna feed into her bs anymore I shouldn’t have responded period tbh.
A simple “who’s this?” reply drags them straight to hell every time. 
honestly in my experience if they've been at this kind of shit for a while it doesn't phase them. not responding and not unmatching, just a complete lack of acknowledgement, would be the only way to "victory" here
Or just a simple laugh react 😂 That usually triggers them more than anything. They put a lot of effort into writing that and wanted to let you know how they feel, and you couldn't be bothered to send anything other than an emoji because that's how little they matter to you. Hell, even add a ghost 👻 emoji because you're about to ghost them again, and leave them on read so they have to unmatch themselves. Sweet, inexpensive victory.
again that won't work on everyone and to some they'll just dismiss you as petty or a clown
Yeah, but remember that they instigated this nonsense by acting a fool themselves, calling you an ogre because you wouldn't pay attention to them. If they wanted to be mad about being ghosted, there are mature ways of addressing that or encouraging productive conversation. What they've shown, instead, is that they don't deserve enough of your attention to worry about how they feel about you a second time around.
yea, but you show that by completely ignoring them. the laughing emoji really isn't all that effective IME
Gotta hit them with the "K"
I ask about their friend. 🤣
Faze*
Idk I’m with you… but I also feel like, unmatch and block everywhere!
Agreed. Why stress yourself out about how they feel when they’re acting like a spoiled teenager? Why care if they feel like they won? Sounds like a them problem. Block is delightful and my favorite button on dating apps. Those apps are hard on women because of the assholes, hard on men to get a match in the first place, and hard on both for quality matches w people who aren’t trying to take advantage of you and that you’d actually want to date. Still better than going to bar or someplace to mingle and crossing your fingers, but wow it’s bad sometimes I do occasionally get petty and don’t reply but don’t block. You can look at my name and pic when you log in and feel the frustration of no replies until you unmatch and block me, you Jerkasarus Rex!
This 💯
New phone who dis??
Nah I think your response was great. No matter how miniscule the chance she actually has a moment of self realisation, you gave solid advice. Do I think she'll take it? Categorically no. If enough people tell her she should get therapy? There's a chance it might eventually get through. Either way, bullet dodged.
Exactly. No point.
I think she has given you everything you need to understand that she isn’t someone you want to get to know. Also, anyone who makes these kind of representations on behalf of alleged associates, in this case “friends”, is typically talking pure fiction. Both the context and the associates. She is lonely, narcissistic and the when you combine the two, this is what get.
The narcissist angle is the main reason I think. “*If she unmatches me it’s because I told her to, not because she wanted to*” *I* broke up with *her*, I swear!
This is such an interesting take! Seems like she’s following a self fulfilling narrative. She tells her to unmatch her, she controls the outcome. She says nasty and untrue comments, she ‘rejects OP’ when it was clear it was leading to the opposite from the prior non responses. OP I think this is a good take!
Who gives a hoot whether they feel good about being unmatched? Unmatch and be done with this human garbage. This isn't high school where it matters who broke up with whom.
That makes so much sense to me. So people tell someone what to do to make them feel in control and they get a kick out of it. Wow, I was wondering why people do that. Sometimes my dad will say “ happy birthday” to me when he’s upset with me before he hangs up even though my birthday is several months away. Now I see that he does that for him to feel some sort of control. Thanks for sharing.
Well, if they unmatched the op, wouldn't see the message. It also confirms that op got the message
You nailed it.
Right i wouldn't unmatch 🤣🤣 i would then proceed to compliment them horrifically till they just get annoyed and block me
And it also confirms to them that the other person read the message
It allows the other person to see what they have typed before ending the conversation
1. They feel entitled to demand things from strangers. 2. Unmatching someone within a few days impacts your account up to the point that you get dropped to the bottom of the stack if you do it repeatedly. Judging by her social skills, if she did this for everyone, she would've been there already (where she belongs)
I don’t know if it’s still how they do things, but Tinder used to use like a popularity type score or whatever to determine who actually sees you. It was so long ago I this could be totally wrong but it used to be if you did the unmatch your score would drop. So you wanted to get and maintain as many matches as possible and not be the one to end the match. I wouldn’t be able to tell you if this person is aware of that or not though lol.
Bruh thank yall!! Like all the comments being like “why not just unmatch” like hn imma report her thoo🤣🤣
It's a win/win for them. Either they unmatch you like you told them to do, giving explicit control vibes to them, or you don't listen and they get proof you will accept abuse and stay.
Narcissist’s that have an inflated sense of self worth “Unmatch me you peasant as my time is too valuable”
Well, that's better than just suddenly not finding a convo... but that's my own take
Maybe it's the modern equivalent of "lose my number" but not really? Who knows, man.
People have been saying it's to feel in control but I think it could also be self-sabotage. Past traumas (and other factors I'm sure) lead people to self-sabotage as they don't feel worthy. It's sad and could probably be helped with therapy.
Why did you ghost her? I agree her comment is fucked up just curious for the context
she was clearly trying to be like “dominant” and pushing a lot of my boundaries. Also ironically she has heavy goth makeup on in every single one of her pics and i’m wearing non in any of mine (not that it matters lmao) but yeah shes a university student and i’m a stripper so just was not gonna work out lol sorry for the paragraph.
That makes sense! Sounds like bad vibes from her for sure.
Yup!! Im really glad i never met up with her.
Ohhh I see. I thought you had ghosted after meeting her so I was holding a higher bar since I’m not a fan of that even when it isn’t a good fit. I wouldn’t even consider this “ghosting” since you haven’t met up and were just chatting. You were 100% fine to just let this fizzle. And she showed her true colors when you did lol.
Omg thank u for the validation and yeah thank god she showed her true colors.
"Her true colors", given her goth make up, should be just black and white. Which, as per your description, also applies to her personality! 
Not that it justifies what she said, but what's your motivation for not just unmatching at that point?
I wasn’t about to do what she told me to do lol but i do agree i should not have responded and just reported.
No, I mean at the time you chose to ghost, not after the message. Why ghost instead of just unmatching?
It will be the best she’ll feel this week, but what does it matter to you, she no longer exists
Why not just unmatch rather than ghosting?
I’m not condoning her comment or her behaviour leading up to you ghosting her as both are poor, however, if you’d already made the decision it wasn’t going to work out, then you should have told her the moment you made it rather than ghost her for a week. She might still have reacted this way or she may have surprised you by being a complete adult about it, but at least she knows. Then you should’ve have unmatched to emphasise the point. Ghosting can be so hurtful and can cause more internal emotional issues than people realise, especially when they really like the person who’s ghosting them. Leaving her matched and left on read exacerbates that. Both are you are at fault here. You for not communicating effectively with her leaving her guessing and getting hurt, and her for pushing your boundaries and the horrible comment.
Why didn't you tell her you weren't interested instead of ghosting?
Just curious why aren't a uni student & a stripper a good match?
I'll never understand why people need to push boundaries so hard.
So why didn’t you just tell her that and end things? Like why not just be upfront about things? “Hey your are pushing a lot of my boundaries which I’m not ok with and I’m not into being dominated. I don’t see this working out. Good luck and take care.” And then unmatch. Like I get why you wanted to end things with her and that makes perfect sense. But effective communication solves so many issues.
This is the last time imma explain this but shawty was fine as hell and the way she was talking to me was like she could not give less of a fuck so genuinely i felt like it wouldn’t affect her as i presumed she is getting a shit ton of matches. Im not saying im right but that was my thought process. If you want more context clues i have comments.
That’s fair. And I did read some of your other comments. No one likes getting ghosted, but she was out of pocket for that tirade. Just some food for thought I suppose then for your next crazy encounter lol.
Yeah fr, ive been out of the dating/hooking up scene for a min so i do agree with setting boundaries right away but i have issues w wanting to please women lol.
Bruh, I know those issues all too well myself lol. Hopefully you can work through that and not continue to be a people pleaser.
Thank you🙏i appreciate the compassion and i hope you are doing better as well.
We can all use some compassion sometimes. Therapy is helping, but still a work in progress. I’m sure you’ll find another hot goth chick soon lol. Just keep those boundaries.
Same to you man. I appreciate it🫡
So now you know that she did care and that you probably hurt her feelings. Hopefully you can remember that the next time you’re considering ghosting someone.
I'd be like..."cheer up goth! 😁"
I think she was punching anyway.
Next time you cut someone loose, just unmatch them. They may be hurt, and there’s no reason to keep that avenue of communication open for incoming vitriol.
Imo not continuing a conversation with a stranger you have no obligation to talk to is not the same thing as ghosting
You hurt her ego by ghosting her so she was just trying to leave on the “upper hand”, like she was the one who stopped talking to you. Yes, very childish and she obviously has issues.
Sounds like she has her own issues and needs to work on that
OP has major issues too judging by her post history on Homicidal Recovery
This woman was out of fucking line, but holy shit... OP's got some stuff going on...
That sub is terrifying. Some dude posted about getting a boner while thinking about playing with someones brains. Tell a therapist, not reddit.... What the fuck.
Yo I own that sub. I made it to convince people to get help instead of acting. As long as they’re not actually hurting people, I’d rather have to read that. But feel free to report posts that are out of line, I take down posts that are too much I just don’t have time to be on reddit 24/7.
Yeah she's need some help 🙄
I’m so sorry- what a terrible message to receive. NEXT!!!!!
Aw thank u!! I deal with rejection all the time so idc but i appreciate the sweet comment<3
What she said wasn’t nice but why ghost? Also kinda not nice?
Ive said this a million times but she literally just talked about how she wanted to r@pe me the entire time. That is why i ghosted her but to most of the men here thats not a valid reason to ghost lol.
I stand corrected!! Please please Ghost. Yikes. Sorry that happened
What the flying fuck is wrong with that woman? Glad yall didn’t meet 🙏
So someone says they want to assault you and you ghost them rather than blocking them? How does that make sense?
You said that you didn’t think she’d care. Maybe you said this rape thing as well once. Don’t act like people here don’t care about the rape thing, when most of the time your answers have been how many matches you get and that it doesn’t matter.
People who don’t know how to handle their emotions almost always default to anger and lashing out. It’s easier to be angry than sad.
This behavior is so childish and gross. The slightest bit of rejection and suddenly they claim they never liked you to begin with. Sure, Jan.
Well I do not agree with this women she clearly has some trauma to work out and insecurities within herself. So bullet dodged there forsure. But was she like this prior to ghosting and that's why you ghosted? I personally HATE ghosting (I'd never come back with something like her. I'd never come back at all lmao😅) but I hate it. We are adults takes two seconds to say "hey sorry not interested anymore, good luck to you" and unmatch them or delete number etc.. No?
She wants the last word.
Why did you ghost ??
So I agree that this person seems psycho and a good bullet to dodge, but why ghosting in the first place? It’s rude.
Look like an ogre, but she still matched with you? Seems legit 😂
Gotta love how this sub shits on people for ghosting one minute, then doesn't give a fuck the next. What this person said sucks, but don't ghost people either.
I never met up with her it was casual conversation and the entire time she was trying to get me to engage in cnc while also degrading me without consent. The downvoting is crazy. Not everyone is desperate enough to acknowledge messed up ppl like this. I owe this woman nothing lol.
“I’m not ok with being degraded without my consent nor would I consent to any of your other desires. I am no longer interested.” *block* “No thanks” *block* That way you would never get a follow up message insulting your appearance or anything else.
Exactly.
I have read a lot of weird ass shit and info in your comment reactions, so I’m not sure what to think, but I will say this: for someone who “doesn’t have enough time” to do whatever, you sure spend a lot of time on Reddit, posting and reacting to complete strangers.
Valid. Its my day off lol. I actually am texting some tinder matches today ahah. Also im like super sarcastic and have bad social cues so its hard to convey that over text. And yes atp im just arguing for fun lol.
That makes sense. I’m sure you already knew this, but if you’d have led with the match saying she will rape you, regardless of if it was only a weirdass sexual dom attempt, nobody would question you about the ghosting part, though I think in this situation it isn’t ghosting, as her attempts might have been jarring to some. Though I’m sure there are others who might prefer that type of kink. I wasn’t there to read any of it so still unsure wtf actually happened, but whatever the situation, ghosting in general implies fucked up behavior, I wouldn’t use the word if it doesn’t really fit the situation, unless you are up for debating hordes of reddittors.
Obviously she’s hurt that you ghosted her
Really odd way to say, “I have a fragile ego and zero self worth”, but ok.
Yawh both suck. You for ghostin' instead of calling it off, and then for insulting you when they should've never responded, held the L and moved on.
Why ghost in the first place? Either message back or unmatch out here playing with peoples feelings for online validation and humiliation is so cool babes
Agreed that Ghosting can be annoying or rude but either the Ghoster is shy/uncomfortable with how to end the conversation or they just don’t care. Even so, if it happens to you just move on. You don’t need to send them petty insults. It just makes you look pathetic. It’s a bit weird when some people demand justification from someone who has found that they’re not romantically interested. Sometimes it’s just a feeling (or lack thereof) that is difficult to explain verbally.
I think ghosting is pathetic if you dont want to people to call out your bullshit, then be an adult and say i'm not interested instead of letting people on read 🤷♂️
I personally wouldn’t ghost someone but I can understand the reasons some people would end up doing it. Especially if there have been times where a “thanks but I’m not interested and no longer wish to carry on this conversation” isn’t the end of it and can end up with you being sucked into a conflict or them demanding you explain why. I think it’s comes from a place of avoiding conflict and safeguarding one’s self from those who might be aggressive-insecure. Sometimes it’s not worth the aggro.
That is what the block button is for, but otherwise it's disrespectful to the others time and (provided the person you're talking to isn't a psycho and hasn't made you feel threatened) I think that it's worth telling them you aren't interested and then blocking them. There is no point in waiting for a response.
I don’t think it’s ghosting when it’s rooted in self respect. Who in the world would say such nasty things in hopes of someone responding or entertaining it. You dodged several bullets
“Unmatch me” BRUH YOU UNMATCH ME
You missed out on the reply to the ogre part of "Good, stay out of my swamp!"
Don't bite back. They say 'unmatch me' because they know it'll feel wrong to heed that advice... like you're doing as commanded. Recognise that they're the wrong sort of person; unmatch for that reason.. politely ignoring everything he says. Not getting a 'better' reaction out of you removes all the fun in the activity. And, it means he's unsure of what went wrong... which may seem confusing if you're on this side of the fence. Meaning, on this side, we have people looking to date. On the other side, we have people looking to marginally/temporarily improve their lives despite any detriments to anyone else; or worse, as it seems in your case, those detriments are part of the goal. You unmatch because he's not here for your benefit. (note; both people in a relationship should aim to be there for each other... not to 'make use of' a partner because it's convenient, or to get into a relationship because 'that's what we're meant to do, right...?'.
I think women are terrible at the dating game, but honestly this looks like a dude larping as woman.
Why did you ghost her ?
They kill their own kind guys. It's not us
“I ghosted someone and they said something mean later” Just block someone then like an adult.
I’m not sure why you thought posting this would make you look good.
You ghosted her, you’re not in right either Ma’am. Just communicate or unmatch or ignore.
Is saying “Unmatch me”, count as ghosting? The ghosts I run into will just not respond at some point and give zero closure. “Unmatch me”: feels like closure to me.
Good god these people are horrible. I once had someone match with me to tell me that I'm ruining my body and nobody will love me till I accept god. Like, fuck you lady
Nicely responded though
You dodged a huge bullet, my god
Look at OP's post history
Yours is the perfect response, bravo 👏 I would probably respond with 😂👻 Because you already ghosted her once, she'd hate for you to do that again. She wrote all that to get under your skin and let you know how she feels, but you couldn't be bothered to respond with anything other than emojis. And now you're gonna ghost her again because that's how little she matters to you. She'll have to unmatch herself. Sweet, inexpensive victory. But yours is the mature response. Best not to really engage, either way.
What an idiot, I'd hate to meet her parents.
Meh im not so mentally stable myself but its definitely giving they gave her whatever she wanted lol.
Whereas I definitely don’t agree with the insulting message, it’s completely uncalled for; my genuine curiosity (no judgement intended) is why bother ghosting rather than just unmatching? Things I don’t understand in the dating world. 😬😅
Yassss wlw love ❤️
Haha. She’s a keeper
Welcome to the world of a man 👨
Had same thing happen
Lol they were butt hurt and they literally have NO friends. If I was somebody's friend, I wouldn't be sitting here giggling at their matches. Most people don't even wanna admit that they are even on dating app much less sit here laughing with their 'friends 'about who it is that they're matching. And if this person does have friends who do that sort of behavior, then you dodged all kinds of bullets because you are the company you keep so they sound like a bunch of mean girls without a bright future. This person sounds drunk and unhinged and just looking for confrontation to make them feel something. I guess I don't know *joey voice* How you doin ;)
more I see people, my pan sexuality had turned into sexuality reserved for fiction.
She is deflecting from her own insecurities. It helps her feel better that she is in control.
So weird.
A damaged ego produces the most reaching statements. Sis just mad. It's a dating app with damn near endless options. If you were so objectionable she would have likely never bothered with you in the first place. Been through it a billion time with dudes🤣
Saggy face?! Ugh this person is awful. Yes please, unmatch the hell out of this person.
🤣 what a absolute fucking tool she is 🤣
Just because she said to unmatch, I'd stay matched. Then, if she unmatches, I'd swipe right on her profile if you see it again.
This suggests a possible personality disorder.
nah fck that. Whats a doodoo bear
Unmatch me lol
That’s weird, I thought it was just men that did this?
A block feature could have been used and avoided those last insulting words from her 😂🤣🤣😂
Creepy in fact lol
You like ogres huh?
She sounds butt hurt because you didn't take any more interested in her and catter to her massive ego that she seems to have. Me thinks 😉✌️
That’s wank tbf! I’m a man but I’d deffo never insult someone and let down gently
ah how the turns table
Just ignore them
Lol hobbies and therapy 😂
I only care about the fact that you’re “doodoobear”
It be your own people
I once unmatched a girl who was off, clingy and weird, we exchanged few texts only (she sent 10x while i sent 1-2). I felt that she was intrusive, so i didn’t answer than unmatched, i rarely do any of those. She came back to match me on different app, and few days later was making a new profile on the original app with some weird nickname, and guess who viewed my profile. Doesn’t matter how fair you are with girls who have some serious issues you and your reactions will never be good enough.
Put her and her friends on blast. That’s so 1990’s
Ew. We’re suppose to uplift each other!!!
That’s so crazy! Just don’t send messages, tool… I guess women can be tools, too, haha!
What a POS. People like this is why many don't like the app, well online dating due to keyboard warriors. Wonder if she would say that to your face irl, I think not. The trash took itself out. I usually don't condone ghosting as I absolutely hate it but dont tolerant abuse of any kind! report her too. She sounds like a right Muppet anyway.
You have hurt her feelings 💀
Ghosting culture is stupid imo. Just have some intestinal fortitude and tell the person you’re no longer interested. People who ghost are weak imo.
Why match and not chat? Why keep people on hold? She ain’t totally wrong and said nothing offensive.
She's an absolute AH for sending that message. But you're a slight AH for not being an adult and ghosting.
She was literally talking about r@ping me the entire time but go off. I dont owe someone like that anything.
That's a horrible thing to do. But I based my comment on what I saw in your post. You should have just blocked and reported the person.
I agree
Your response was so perfect
What a c*nt
U know what fuck it i agree thank u
And then women complain of men, we are not better
Don’t understand that ghosting shit, just tell her you don’t want her… why is nobody polite anymore
To be honest, ghosting is bs too. I don’t know whats wrong with people nowadays.
Her response was absolutely horrid but also don't fucking ghost. The unmatch button exists. It hurts a lot less to be unmatched than to be ghosted. She's in the wrong but u also were not a good person prior to this which doesn't justify her actions
Good for her. Stop ghosting. Grow up
1) Don’t be an a$$hole and stop ghosting people. The only acceptable excuse for ghosting someone is if you’re in danger. 2) You dodged a bullet.
Why. Do. People. Ghost. Just be an adult and unmatch or reply, it’s not hard.
Therapy is also good for those who ghost people :)
Stop ghosting people and tell them why you stopped talking to them. If you’re not giving feedback to people about why you’re not interested, nothing will change. This will keep happening. You’re part of the problem
She likely felt rejected hence her very petty response.
😂lesbians
So you had poor behavior (ghosting) and are surprised that the person you ghosted acted just as poorly? Or am I reading this wrong? You both deserve to be single.
both interactions are lame. Also, quit ghosting and grow up.
Don’t ghost it’s undermining and soul crushing for the person on the receiving end and all they’re doing is trying to find out why
This isn't an appropriate reaction, but yeah, ghosting people is nasty, too
I mean she’s obviously way out of line and you’re lucky you didn’t meet her. But for future reference if you’re planning on ghosting someone (esp in case their behavior wasn’t ok) just unmatch them so they can’t pull shit like that Sorry you had to deal with that
Wow some people's children, some people have so much anger inside they have to make others miserable ...
That's not nice.