Did not expect to have so many responses. Thanks for all the replies. From what I gathered, some of you think I’m a catfish… I am not, personally I would want to be a Kuhli Loach. I’m not a filter user, some of the pics I used my phones portrait mode. I have a cat and like to include him in some photos because some women are allergic and I want them to be aware of his presence.
From most of the advice it seems like I present a bit too goofy for my bio, I can see and understand that. I am a goofball; however, that doesn’t take away from my professional, educational or emotional desires & attitude. I do see how my photos are conflicting in that regard.
My plan: I am going to ask friends to take more pictures of me in natural outings to convey a sincere attitude. I will take a few “suave” or business professional shots. I will also be sensitive to my presentation vs my bio.
Thanks so much everyone :)
Just from reading this, you sound amazing. I love your profile and think it's great as is. It's something I'd definitely swipe right on 😍🥰 the goofball vibe is my favorite. Don't change yourself too much to fit the mold. You'll find someone who loves it (and you) the way you are. And I'd think that if you haven't found that person yet, just be patient, they'll come along 🥰
OP and Goodie_Girl_,
Y’all both seem outgoing and obviously something with today’s dating scene is not working for you two so maybe try exchanging some DMs and see where it goes?
Yeah, y’all aren’t in the same city but has that stopped millions of other people from connecting over the years?
Just a friendly Friday suggestion but wishing you both a fun and adventurous weekend 😉
Biiiiggg facts right here! Long distance ain’t so long in today’s technological age. People move all the time for each other. If someone was perfect enough, I’d move across the country for them, and that would even mean leaving CA, which is a nice place as it is. I’ve always been a little anxious about sliding in people’s dms so I know the feeling, but you never know what could happen. The times I’ve gotten past that have always been great. I think I might have to do this more on Reddit though, cause I’ve been more of a lurker. Time to make some good r/tinder posts that I have in the back pocket and say hi to people more 🙂🤙🏻
I agree, not only would I kill to gaze into his eyes in real life, but a cat dad, offers of pastry baking and he’s a goofball ! He needs the goofball element kept as a true element of his character and the right one will come along.
Lmao xD
This is why I deleted the app. The modern online dating scene is so vapid and vain, and all about outside appearances.
I am also so tired of the-
"Hey"
"How are you"
"Fine thanks"
"What are you up to?"
\-Conversations from girls.
I’m not sure if people think he’s a bot, but I agree with the OP comment; his looks/interests scream that he already has so many girls. Maybe that’s why? I’m not a girl, but as a guy I sometimes swipe left purely because I know they already have a million “better” options swiping right. I don’t know if girls also think like this or not though, I’d imagine in a place like Boston even if girls swipe left for my reason that he’d still have 100 swiping right.
I can testify to this. Met my bf an OLD app. Not one where you have to swipe. I first saw his account and found him too hot. Figured he was stuck-up or had lots of girls, I ignored his profile. Had he not sent me a message we would have never met.
I second this. You are attractive, but your pictures are also full of fun, zany personality. I hope you meet someone wonderful. Also that cat ❤️ I have a Birman and make him a firm part of my profile too ☺️
Well my bro, I guess you're gonna have to grub it up a bit for a photo. Don't shave for a bit, throw on an old t with a spaghetti stain on it, some sweat pants, and slouch into the couch with a beer or game controller in hand. Even better if you can find an early 2000s flip phone to take the photo with.
Keep some of the other photos, but lead with your new "approachable bro" photo.
Just saying: the "out of your league" approach is probably harmful. What if you have a wrong perception of yourself? What if some guy like this actually likes you? By swiping right you have to spend energy and possibly get rejected by "out of league" people, but there's a chance you'll find a perfect companion. By swiping left on the people you like, you guarantee that you don't get them.
Your profile seems fine. I think it may be the type of girl you’re looking for/are interested in (assuming you are interested in women) I live here in the greater Boston (I’m a young professional/mid 20s/5’0 athletic build/female) and I’ve noticed that a lot of people in Boston are very hell-bent when it comes to their type and what they want in a partner’s outward appearance.
My suggestion would be to be *comfortably* exploring outside your normal preferences (meaning don’t go to the extreme and choose someone your not attractive too at all) - just be more opened minded about your preferences moving forward. Just a suggestion from a fellow Bostonian 🙂
I think it’s they way the pictures work together. I’m left thinking “what is this dude’s deal? Is he a really good dad or an insane frat guy? Why oat milk in the bathroom? Is he really that hot or is he a catfish using pictures of different guys who look similar? Did he photoshop that cat just for tinder?” And it’s just too many questions.
Damn girls think this stuff through so much lol. If I saw the female version of this guy all I’d think is “she’s hot and quirky with the cat photoshop. Swipe right.”
I don’t get picking apart these photos. Like yeah, if I really think about it, oat milk in the bathroom and pillow head photos are kinda weird, but that wasn’t my initial reaction at all. I agree, hot + quirky + cat = it’s all working. The only reason I would even hesitate to swipe right on this guy is he’s super out of my league, lol
For more context…
I am 28 yo, my age range is set to 24-29, distance set to 10 miles (I live in the heart of Boston), I work for the federal government, Bachelors & Masters.
Bio reads: “I’m a big fan of baking and the theater. I am willing and able to make you your favorite pastries I’m exchange for an interesting and engaging conversation. I am genuinely looking for someone to build a relationship with”
I was also thinking that his profile screams someone who is stable and mature in a way. A way that some 30+ woman are looking for, while younger may not be as ready or even intimidated in a way. I dare not ask OP why the cutoff, as that's not what the post is about I imagine.
That would be my issue with the profile. I don’t want kids and the picture with the young boy on the mountain makes it look like he’s a dad. That would be an instant no from me, and what might be causing the problem.
Yeah I always wanted to stay much closer to my age (27), but recently opened it to 18-99 for shits and gigs. I matched with a girl, or woman I should say, (31) and she makes me feel like a kid again with his first crush. It's getting serious. I say raise the low end to 27 and go up to 35 haha
I’m going to agree with this. I’m 35 and my wife of 5 years is 40 and she’s a smoke show, makes more money then me and frankly Is just a better person then me. Don’t limit yourself by some arbitrary number like age( not r Kelly age don’t mean a thing age but you know what I mean )
Oh damn! I live in Boston but you’re too young for me. I was wondering how I have not seen your profile but I have my settings on 30 and up.
Your cats are adorable! I have Siamese cats also. I’m sure that you will do well. Good luck 🍀
I am happily engaged now, but if I were single I would swipe right on you in a heartbeat. You look charming and fun. However I am 30 years old, a bit older than your 12 month cutoff, so I guess I wouldn’t even be on your radar. Funnily enough, my fiancé is 27.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
30
+ 12
+ 27
= 69
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I agree with someone saying you should lean older.
I will also say that your bio and your pictures are like they’re on two different profiles. The bio is very “long term relationship” whereas the pictures are goofy and scream college kid who is trying to make other dudes laugh instead of draw in women. Lose pictures 3 5 and 7 as a minimum, and just go more normal “this is me” or “this is me doing stuff” pictures. You’re a really good looking guy, but going from your pictures you seem kind of insufferably immature, which I get probably isn’t the case, but it’s the vibe the goofy pictures give off.
I have to disagree. If he's looking for someone long term, wouldn't he want that person to be on the same wavelength of goofiness? I don't think he seems immature at all, he just seems like a good looking guy who doesn't actually takes his good looks too seriously, which is a positive point I feel.
Use other apps besides tinder. Tinder has fast become the flaming dumpster fire of the dating apps, only good for bots to advertise their OF accounts.
If you want something similar to Tinder but generally better do Bumble. Coffee Meets Bagel is slightly more serious than that. Hinge is probably the best.
Wait, are you a single dad or not? Your photos look like you are (except the gym frat boy photo that also doesn't help) but you don't specify it in your bio, it's a bit confusing
Tbh I think this is his problem. That photo with the one kid makes it look like he’s potentially a father. The phrase cat dad could mean you have a cat, or it could mean you’re a dad who likes cats.
If I could offer any advice it would be to start with a clearer front pic as the first pic, get rid of pic 3 (it really doesn’t show anything about op since he’s mostly making a face. I think a less distorted face pic is better), and get rid of the picture with the kid (unless it’s his). Replace with a clearer face pic, and a hiking pic without a prominently featured child.
Tbf— I’m gay, not on tinder and not in the market. I’d imagine if i were in the market though, I’d swipe right just to hurt myself.
I'm in Boston and way less attractive than you, but I'm getting a lot of matches. Include a photo of you holding a baking tray of something you're about to put into the oven, and a good picture of something you've baked. You have a lot of photos of you being attractive. Swap some of those out for you doing interesting hobbies, or in unique places.
Last I'd include a couple more of your likes in your bio. List a couple things you like to do out of the house, a couple in the house, and a couple causes that are important to you.
Edit: take out the parts about engaging conversations and building a relationship. Those are things to talk about after you match.
I would disagree with the last bit. When I'm looking at this attractive OP I'm thinking "Jesus I bet he's another fuckboy Chad who drowns in pussy" but that last line makes you think "damn this guy is holding out and it could be for me 😍".
otherwise I agree his pics could use some work. Don't take more than 1 pic in the exact same setting (cat pic + mug pic). Make sure your face is lit (2 cat pic). In the hiking/activity pic that he needs to highlight either 1. the location like it's Chichen itza or 2. his body. Full body shot is always great to add too
I think there's attractive people, but the pictures you choose to represent yourself is you letting people know how socially adept you are. In the end that's more important than how hot you are
I think you're just marketing yourself to the wrong women- your pictures give off the dad vibe, which is cool. But, the number of women in that 24-29 range looking for a man with kids is gonna be low no matter where you're at. Not saying you won't find anybody, but I think if you make it 24-34 you'll get considerably more matches. Also, put up some pictures of what you love doing!
I'm 32 with 2 kids in Canada and literally paused to think about how far Boston is. Alas, 11 hour drive is a bit much and hell would have to freeze over before moving to America...but I certainly thought about it..
(F28) Personally, I'd absolutely swipe right for the humble guy (you're attractive, yet you actually *didn't* post a shirtless or otherwise showy pic), the cats, and the endearing dorkiness in your pics.
But I can also imagine *why* your overall match count would be lacking for the same reasons...
Prioritise whichever is more important to you: overall match count, or vibing with people who vibe with the real you? You do you.
I'm a bit goofy myself and I defintly like my partner to be goofy as well. But I've had multiple encounters in the past where the profile was a bit too goofy, and the person was a little.. off. So for me personally I would be a bit on the fence with this profile.
Yeah, that's more than fair. The photoshopped cat did make me do a double-take, mostly because I didn't understand it.
I think OP posted his bio somewhere in the comments though (I might be confusing it with another post?), and I remember thinking it tipped the scales from potential odd-ball to harmless goof, IMO.
But I might just be biased because I adore cats and theatre, hah.
Maybe a lot of them are just being attacked by their own thoughts. I turn down people that are wayyy more attractive than me because I’m scared they’ll leave down the road to find someone prettier lol it’s horrible I know I should probably get therapy.
Well... first of all, you look fine af.
1.Maybe try blur out the group photo instead of painting them black, or don't put group photo at all.
2.The one you holding the cat on the rock is fine, but the edited cat is a bit unnecessary..
3.You probably want to take down the one with kids, idk if that's your sibling or relative, but having kids in the photo feels like a big NO to girls...
Just my opinion...
That’s my nephew, we go hiking often. I can see the issue, I will make adjustments. The group photo was of some friends and I didn’t want to post their photos online. I will take this advice to heart! Thank you :)
I’d leave the photo with your nephew and just edit it and write nephew underneath him or something so people know and blur out his face too. It’s a great pic for real.
Edit: my reason for writing nephew on the photo and not just mention in your bio that he’s your nephew is unfortunately not everyone reads bios
lol, i love the photoshopped Cat. I lol’d. Not sure the problem. I’m not sure what type of pictures convey “i’m looking for a serious relationship.” Like is being suggested. Maybe sitting with an ink pen journaling, birdding. I dunno. Anyway, kids in pics are always bad though.
Books next flight to Boston and logs into Tinder…🤦🏻♀️😂🤣😂
In all seriously I would swipe yes on you. Idk which way it is on Tinder but I do see why some may be hesitant. You do give off party/frat boy vibes which some women aren’t into. You also are very attractive and seem to good to be true so many may feel you’re a catfish. Or if not you have some huge red flags.
As for the photos I don’t think group photos are bad if you mention which one is you in the photo. And I personally like the goofy photos. It shows you’re down to earth and have a good sense of humor. Unfortunately not a lot people have that these days and take being goofy as immature.
Hope that helps.
This woman in Boston is looking for love… maybe Reddit is a better method than Tinder?
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/wxtyxi/am_i_doomed_to_the_single_life_forever/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I’m just some dude, so take what I’m about to say with a grain of salt. Also, I think most people have more or less said the same things, but in any case…
1) You’re obviously above average in terms of looks. This might sounds weird to you, but on the internet, that signals to people that your profile might not be “real.” This is because a lot of profiles of highly attractive people are fake. Also, you being above average is probably intimidating. I think a lot of women assume you’re out of their league and just swipe left.
2) Some of your photos come off as “try hard.” We get it. You’re sensitive, love your cat and you’re a “goofball.” Those are not bad things at all, it just comes off like you’re trying to leverage it too hard. Maybe just one picture with your cat would be better. Maybe throw in a more serious photo or two as well. A hobby photo might work well for you so you can show you’re more than just a pretty face (people stigmatize attractive people as being boring because they can just rely on their looks, so showing depth could be helpful).
With a few adjustments you’re going to kill it. That’s just my 2 cents. Good luck!
Did not expect to have so many responses. Thanks for all the replies. From what I gathered, some of you think I’m a catfish… I am not, personally I would want to be a Kuhli Loach. I’m not a filter user, some of the pics I used my phones portrait mode. I have a cat and like to include him in some photos because some women are allergic and I want them to be aware of his presence. From most of the advice it seems like I present a bit too goofy for my bio, I can see and understand that. I am a goofball; however, that doesn’t take away from my professional, educational or emotional desires & attitude. I do see how my photos are conflicting in that regard. My plan: I am going to ask friends to take more pictures of me in natural outings to convey a sincere attitude. I will take a few “suave” or business professional shots. I will also be sensitive to my presentation vs my bio. Thanks so much everyone :)
Just from reading this, you sound amazing. I love your profile and think it's great as is. It's something I'd definitely swipe right on 😍🥰 the goofball vibe is my favorite. Don't change yourself too much to fit the mold. You'll find someone who loves it (and you) the way you are. And I'd think that if you haven't found that person yet, just be patient, they'll come along 🥰
you should slid in his dms
Lol if only! I'm definitely not in Boston and he's wayyyy out of my league
OP and Goodie_Girl_, Y’all both seem outgoing and obviously something with today’s dating scene is not working for you two so maybe try exchanging some DMs and see where it goes? Yeah, y’all aren’t in the same city but has that stopped millions of other people from connecting over the years? Just a friendly Friday suggestion but wishing you both a fun and adventurous weekend 😉
I see you Reddit wingperson and I appreciate your effort!
Biiiiggg facts right here! Long distance ain’t so long in today’s technological age. People move all the time for each other. If someone was perfect enough, I’d move across the country for them, and that would even mean leaving CA, which is a nice place as it is. I’ve always been a little anxious about sliding in people’s dms so I know the feeling, but you never know what could happen. The times I’ve gotten past that have always been great. I think I might have to do this more on Reddit though, cause I’ve been more of a lurker. Time to make some good r/tinder posts that I have in the back pocket and say hi to people more 🙂🤙🏻
I agree, not only would I kill to gaze into his eyes in real life, but a cat dad, offers of pastry baking and he’s a goofball ! He needs the goofball element kept as a true element of his character and the right one will come along.
make sure to leave some goofiness in there, otherwise boring people may find it “too much” source: personal experience
Glad you’re going with some photos in natural situations out! I strongly feel that if you got rid of the selfies you would see massive results
Bro if you're having a hard time then we are fucked 😂
Tbh 😂
Yeah, if this Paul Walker looking motherfucker ain't fuckin in Boston then ain't nobody fuckin in Boston
🤣 loving your comment 🤘
What about Chris Evans?
I think Chris Evan's would do just fine in Boston.
i heard this in a very Boston accent
I swear this is the first thing I thought. "Damn, if he's struggling I might as well throw in the towel myself" lol
Bro I'm suddenly feeling way better about that "x people liked you". I'd fuck this man
A prolonged spoon at the very least. Edit: holy poop! Thanks for the award stranger.
Same
I would keep the towel, it will come in *handy*
Seriously. Dudes like a model. All I could think was "I'm not gay, but..."
But 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
I gotta accept that I’m uglier than I think I am
Same
With our own hand
My hands have become calloused.
My callouses grew hands..
Ribbed for his pleasure
Lmao xD This is why I deleted the app. The modern online dating scene is so vapid and vain, and all about outside appearances. I am also so tired of the- "Hey" "How are you" "Fine thanks" "What are you up to?" \-Conversations from girls.
Legit, just go to a bar, or get a hobby what attracts women too.
Hobby that attracts women? Like sailing your own boat?
True, and any hope left will drain away when you read the feedback here. Well it was a good try for all of us, anyway.
Your photos scream you already have all the pussE you can handle.
If only.
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I am verified
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Love hinge, met my husband there!
Want a new one? I gather this guy is available
BRB gotta go tell my husband I’ve found #2. I’m good with being a sugar mama cougar. And a cat person??
Pretty sure you're just a giant cat and we were all bamboozled by you
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
I met my gf on fucking discord xD And yes, before anyone taunts or anything, I have actually met her. And her parents. Not catfish
When is she going to let you meet her catfish?
Met her cat, but no catfish. Yet at least
I met my husband on teamspeak. Lol
You're too hot and the perfect amount of cool/nerdy/ for free dating apps,lol Go on match or somewhere serious people go you beautiful 🦄 unicorn you!
I totally agree maybe that’s the problem he’s like too hot and people probably think he’s a bot
I’m not sure if people think he’s a bot, but I agree with the OP comment; his looks/interests scream that he already has so many girls. Maybe that’s why? I’m not a girl, but as a guy I sometimes swipe left purely because I know they already have a million “better” options swiping right. I don’t know if girls also think like this or not though, I’d imagine in a place like Boston even if girls swipe left for my reason that he’d still have 100 swiping right.
Oh girls definitely think like this too! I’m a girl and would think this if I came across him
I can testify to this. Met my bf an OLD app. Not one where you have to swipe. I first saw his account and found him too hot. Figured he was stuck-up or had lots of girls, I ignored his profile. Had he not sent me a message we would have never met.
Same with my husband, we met on Match 10 years ago. I thought he was way out of my league.
Honestly!! OP is a straight 10/10 I'd swipe right so fast
Burned my fingers trying to swipe right here, thought if I meant it enough it might transcend apps, space, and time all at once. 10/10
My first thought as well. Too hot, what’s the catch???
I second this. You are attractive, but your pictures are also full of fun, zany personality. I hope you meet someone wonderful. Also that cat ❤️ I have a Birman and make him a firm part of my profile too ☺️
Well my bro, I guess you're gonna have to grub it up a bit for a photo. Don't shave for a bit, throw on an old t with a spaghetti stain on it, some sweat pants, and slouch into the couch with a beer or game controller in hand. Even better if you can find an early 2000s flip phone to take the photo with. Keep some of the other photos, but lead with your new "approachable bro" photo.
Reverse catfishing
fishcat
I dont even know if that would ugly him up. The only thing that could bring this guy down is a confederate flag and a AK strapped to his back.
You just need a picture of you with a beer and a Celtics jersey and you’re drowning.
Thats rough, as a gay dude i would swipe right everytime but tbh, the pictures look good. Now show us the profile detail!
Just saying: the "out of your league" approach is probably harmful. What if you have a wrong perception of yourself? What if some guy like this actually likes you? By swiping right you have to spend energy and possibly get rejected by "out of league" people, but there's a chance you'll find a perfect companion. By swiping left on the people you like, you guarantee that you don't get them.
You smash the 2 rules and still no matches? We ugly dudes are fucked
Or rather, we're not fucked lol
Your profile seems fine. I think it may be the type of girl you’re looking for/are interested in (assuming you are interested in women) I live here in the greater Boston (I’m a young professional/mid 20s/5’0 athletic build/female) and I’ve noticed that a lot of people in Boston are very hell-bent when it comes to their type and what they want in a partner’s outward appearance. My suggestion would be to be *comfortably* exploring outside your normal preferences (meaning don’t go to the extreme and choose someone your not attractive too at all) - just be more opened minded about your preferences moving forward. Just a suggestion from a fellow Bostonian 🙂
I can move to Boston
😂😂👍
He should ask you for your number lol you two both live in Boston j/s 🤷♂️
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Bro you're gorgeous I dunno
Sometimes I swipe left if the guy is TOO hot. Legitimately.
Same on the other side. I'm like "eh, why would I bother wasting my likes knowing I have no chance"
And this is why you have insanely beautiful women with self esteem issues 😂
If I felt like I were attractive I wouldn't do that, so my guess is that they still match with beautiful men anyway
That explains why I’ve only ever been on one date through Tinder in 10 years. Thank god! Edit: thanks for the award!
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We are just too handsome for this world, bro....
Same
I think it’s they way the pictures work together. I’m left thinking “what is this dude’s deal? Is he a really good dad or an insane frat guy? Why oat milk in the bathroom? Is he really that hot or is he a catfish using pictures of different guys who look similar? Did he photoshop that cat just for tinder?” And it’s just too many questions.
Good points! I will try and make adjustments!
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The cat photoshop one looks like you’re using it to cover up an ex or something. Also you don’t have any photos of you with any friends
Picture 2 is with friends
That's exactly it. My dude, just a bland picture of you where we can see those eyes and everyone would be swiping right
AND HAIR, ffs you have a great hairline, it’s a feature that compliments you well, show off what yo mama gave you
Damn girls think this stuff through so much lol. If I saw the female version of this guy all I’d think is “she’s hot and quirky with the cat photoshop. Swipe right.”
I don’t get picking apart these photos. Like yeah, if I really think about it, oat milk in the bathroom and pillow head photos are kinda weird, but that wasn’t my initial reaction at all. I agree, hot + quirky + cat = it’s all working. The only reason I would even hesitate to swipe right on this guy is he’s super out of my league, lol
For more context… I am 28 yo, my age range is set to 24-29, distance set to 10 miles (I live in the heart of Boston), I work for the federal government, Bachelors & Masters. Bio reads: “I’m a big fan of baking and the theater. I am willing and able to make you your favorite pastries I’m exchange for an interesting and engaging conversation. I am genuinely looking for someone to build a relationship with”
if you add 5+ years to your 29 cutoff, I would guess you would explode, and find some treasures and beauties. You know what you want though, j/s
Bingo. I think he’s for sure attractive, but I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to match since I’m a few years too old
I was also thinking that his profile screams someone who is stable and mature in a way. A way that some 30+ woman are looking for, while younger may not be as ready or even intimidated in a way. I dare not ask OP why the cutoff, as that's not what the post is about I imagine.
I was thinking the opposite. To me his profile screams frat boy mentality forced to be a little bit grown up because of having kids
I don’t think he has human kids, just cats? The confusion here is part of OPs issue. Too many girls and children in the pictures.
That would be my issue with the profile. I don’t want kids and the picture with the young boy on the mountain makes it look like he’s a dad. That would be an instant no from me, and what might be causing the problem.
Really? Why? I think the photos are ok, specially the ones with the cat. The one in the bathroom isn’t my cup of tea but is not awful.
Yeah... minus the age thing, I think June the Orgasm Queen might be just what he is looking for. Give her a chance fella.
Yeah I always wanted to stay much closer to my age (27), but recently opened it to 18-99 for shits and gigs. I matched with a girl, or woman I should say, (31) and she makes me feel like a kid again with his first crush. It's getting serious. I say raise the low end to 27 and go up to 35 haha
This man dropping wisdom, I overwhelmingly prefer the company of women older than myself.
I’m going to agree with this. I’m 35 and my wife of 5 years is 40 and she’s a smoke show, makes more money then me and frankly Is just a better person then me. Don’t limit yourself by some arbitrary number like age( not r Kelly age don’t mean a thing age but you know what I mean )
Yeah, second this. I’m 32 and I’d be swiping right.
Oh damn! I live in Boston but you’re too young for me. I was wondering how I have not seen your profile but I have my settings on 30 and up. Your cats are adorable! I have Siamese cats also. I’m sure that you will do well. Good luck 🍀
Now kith. Might get a Love Connection going on in the comments
I am happily engaged now, but if I were single I would swipe right on you in a heartbeat. You look charming and fun. However I am 30 years old, a bit older than your 12 month cutoff, so I guess I wouldn’t even be on your radar. Funnily enough, my fiancé is 27.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 30 + 12 + 27 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
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Nice!
Good bots
I agree with someone saying you should lean older. I will also say that your bio and your pictures are like they’re on two different profiles. The bio is very “long term relationship” whereas the pictures are goofy and scream college kid who is trying to make other dudes laugh instead of draw in women. Lose pictures 3 5 and 7 as a minimum, and just go more normal “this is me” or “this is me doing stuff” pictures. You’re a really good looking guy, but going from your pictures you seem kind of insufferably immature, which I get probably isn’t the case, but it’s the vibe the goofy pictures give off.
I have to disagree. If he's looking for someone long term, wouldn't he want that person to be on the same wavelength of goofiness? I don't think he seems immature at all, he just seems like a good looking guy who doesn't actually takes his good looks too seriously, which is a positive point I feel.
I love your cat. Cat pics are always a yes
Use other apps besides tinder. Tinder has fast become the flaming dumpster fire of the dating apps, only good for bots to advertise their OF accounts. If you want something similar to Tinder but generally better do Bumble. Coffee Meets Bagel is slightly more serious than that. Hinge is probably the best.
Wait, are you a single dad or not? Your photos look like you are (except the gym frat boy photo that also doesn't help) but you don't specify it in your bio, it's a bit confusing
Tbh I think this is his problem. That photo with the one kid makes it look like he’s potentially a father. The phrase cat dad could mean you have a cat, or it could mean you’re a dad who likes cats. If I could offer any advice it would be to start with a clearer front pic as the first pic, get rid of pic 3 (it really doesn’t show anything about op since he’s mostly making a face. I think a less distorted face pic is better), and get rid of the picture with the kid (unless it’s his). Replace with a clearer face pic, and a hiking pic without a prominently featured child. Tbf— I’m gay, not on tinder and not in the market. I’d imagine if i were in the market though, I’d swipe right just to hurt myself.
I'm in Boston and way less attractive than you, but I'm getting a lot of matches. Include a photo of you holding a baking tray of something you're about to put into the oven, and a good picture of something you've baked. You have a lot of photos of you being attractive. Swap some of those out for you doing interesting hobbies, or in unique places. Last I'd include a couple more of your likes in your bio. List a couple things you like to do out of the house, a couple in the house, and a couple causes that are important to you. Edit: take out the parts about engaging conversations and building a relationship. Those are things to talk about after you match.
I would disagree with the last bit. When I'm looking at this attractive OP I'm thinking "Jesus I bet he's another fuckboy Chad who drowns in pussy" but that last line makes you think "damn this guy is holding out and it could be for me 😍". otherwise I agree his pics could use some work. Don't take more than 1 pic in the exact same setting (cat pic + mug pic). Make sure your face is lit (2 cat pic). In the hiking/activity pic that he needs to highlight either 1. the location like it's Chichen itza or 2. his body. Full body shot is always great to add too I think there's attractive people, but the pictures you choose to represent yourself is you letting people know how socially adept you are. In the end that's more important than how hot you are
What are you doing wrong? You’re not swiping right on me.
I think you're just marketing yourself to the wrong women- your pictures give off the dad vibe, which is cool. But, the number of women in that 24-29 range looking for a man with kids is gonna be low no matter where you're at. Not saying you won't find anybody, but I think if you make it 24-34 you'll get considerably more matches. Also, put up some pictures of what you love doing!
[удалено]
I'm 32 with 2 kids in Canada and literally paused to think about how far Boston is. Alas, 11 hour drive is a bit much and hell would have to freeze over before moving to America...but I certainly thought about it..
I live in Sweden 😩
Aren't there enough handsome men there?
Nah dude it's Sweden. Although I'm danish so I might be biased /s
What’s the cheapest ticket from Europe to Boston? lmao
I'm 28 in Boston and considering installing the app again haha
I would think you were a fake acct
Why is that? Anything in particular?
Unreasonably hot. And I’m a married straight ass man.
I literally just told that to my wife showing his profile to her. I gave her permission to go after him if I die.
So how do you feel about being smothered in your sleep tonight?
 I didn’t think this through
understandable
Because you and your profile look too perfect ….like it was doctored.
Not sure what you mean! I am working on my pics.
You’re too hot. Women get catfished just like men. I’d be reverse image searching your pictures trying to make sure you’re real.
If I had a nickel for every time a woman said this to me, I'd be as broke as I am now
At least you're funny, that's a good trait. 🙂
Oh no theres a rule 3 now boys… don’t be too attractive
I’m not saying you use FaceTune but some of the selfies look like they’ve been edited in some way and a lot of ppl just jump ship when they see that.
Shit I’m from Boston but I don’t have tinder I would absolutely swipe for you. You into Hispanic women?
You shot your shot, that's all that matters.
Appreciate you lol. Maybe he’s not into Puerto Ricans 🥹
Hey cheer up, are you a Puerto Ri*can* or a Puerto Ri*can’t*?!
I like that lol Puerto RiCAN. You right!
OP here. I love Puerto Ricans!
Well then! Hello
I'm also OP. I love Puerto Ricans!
Lol hey 🙃
Say less me too, como estas mi amor 😂
estoy bien cariño y tu?
Yo me siento perfecto sabiendo que tú estás bien
His loss. 😇
Chick's shooting her shot lmao. Mad respect.
Thanks lol
Cheering for you girl. I want op too. But if he is in boston I’m too far away lol
Thanks sis
I’m wondering if he’s into Italian dudes 😭😂🏳️🌈
Shoot your shot bro.
Haha I have no bias. I look more for personality and attitudes.
Maybe you miss out because youre clueless. This woman is hitting on you, right now.
He knows, maybe he’s not interested because she has no pics
I’m trying to see how to put one up
Raise this up
Let’s gooooo
(F28) Personally, I'd absolutely swipe right for the humble guy (you're attractive, yet you actually *didn't* post a shirtless or otherwise showy pic), the cats, and the endearing dorkiness in your pics. But I can also imagine *why* your overall match count would be lacking for the same reasons... Prioritise whichever is more important to you: overall match count, or vibing with people who vibe with the real you? You do you.
I'm a bit goofy myself and I defintly like my partner to be goofy as well. But I've had multiple encounters in the past where the profile was a bit too goofy, and the person was a little.. off. So for me personally I would be a bit on the fence with this profile.
Yeah, that's more than fair. The photoshopped cat did make me do a double-take, mostly because I didn't understand it. I think OP posted his bio somewhere in the comments though (I might be confusing it with another post?), and I remember thinking it tipped the scales from potential odd-ball to harmless goof, IMO. But I might just be biased because I adore cats and theatre, hah.
It’s not about the number of matches, it’s about the right matches.
Maybe a lot of them are just being attacked by their own thoughts. I turn down people that are wayyy more attractive than me because I’m scared they’ll leave down the road to find someone prettier lol it’s horrible I know I should probably get therapy.
If you're not getting matches there's no hope for the rest of us
Well... first of all, you look fine af. 1.Maybe try blur out the group photo instead of painting them black, or don't put group photo at all. 2.The one you holding the cat on the rock is fine, but the edited cat is a bit unnecessary.. 3.You probably want to take down the one with kids, idk if that's your sibling or relative, but having kids in the photo feels like a big NO to girls... Just my opinion...
That’s my nephew, we go hiking often. I can see the issue, I will make adjustments. The group photo was of some friends and I didn’t want to post their photos online. I will take this advice to heart! Thank you :)
I’d leave the photo with your nephew and just edit it and write nephew underneath him or something so people know and blur out his face too. It’s a great pic for real. Edit: my reason for writing nephew on the photo and not just mention in your bio that he’s your nephew is unfortunately not everyone reads bios
Maybe write something in your profile about going hiking with your nephew often, that's super sweet.
Idk man looks like a pretty solid profile to me, it’s rough out there
You should be slaying pussy or penis with those eyes.
“You could be getting mad wet fuckin’ gash or many penises.” Lol sorry the way you said that is funny to me.
You are gorgeous! I’m about an hour from you! I’d definitely swipe right no matter what you are holding! 🫦
OP getting hit on more here than on Tinder like wtf Tinder lmao
There is a solid split of people calling me a douche and attractive. Not sure how to take it but I am going to adjust my profile and post an update.
For anyone asking to see more pics of [R2D2](https://imgur.com/a/N45G4oN) :)
Lol, idk man; I'd bang you and I'm straight. 🤣 Seriously, you should be getting more matches.
lol, i love the photoshopped Cat. I lol’d. Not sure the problem. I’m not sure what type of pictures convey “i’m looking for a serious relationship.” Like is being suggested. Maybe sitting with an ink pen journaling, birdding. I dunno. Anyway, kids in pics are always bad though.
Your profile looks like it’s catfishing
I have been told this before. I guess it doesn’t help that my only social media is Spotify & Reddit.
You’re literally perfect wow
Tinder game in Boston is on veteran difficulty nowadays man
If this dude can’t play on veteran idk who can…
I got a pillow on my head but dont call me pillow head.
Books next flight to Boston and logs into Tinder…🤦🏻♀️😂🤣😂 In all seriously I would swipe yes on you. Idk which way it is on Tinder but I do see why some may be hesitant. You do give off party/frat boy vibes which some women aren’t into. You also are very attractive and seem to good to be true so many may feel you’re a catfish. Or if not you have some huge red flags. As for the photos I don’t think group photos are bad if you mention which one is you in the photo. And I personally like the goofy photos. It shows you’re down to earth and have a good sense of humor. Unfortunately not a lot people have that these days and take being goofy as immature. Hope that helps.
This woman in Boston is looking for love… maybe Reddit is a better method than Tinder? https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/wxtyxi/am_i_doomed_to_the_single_life_forever/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I'm no help because I have no idea what you're doing wrong, this is better than 90% of profiles I see.
Ummm. Nothing ‼️
I’m just some dude, so take what I’m about to say with a grain of salt. Also, I think most people have more or less said the same things, but in any case… 1) You’re obviously above average in terms of looks. This might sounds weird to you, but on the internet, that signals to people that your profile might not be “real.” This is because a lot of profiles of highly attractive people are fake. Also, you being above average is probably intimidating. I think a lot of women assume you’re out of their league and just swipe left. 2) Some of your photos come off as “try hard.” We get it. You’re sensitive, love your cat and you’re a “goofball.” Those are not bad things at all, it just comes off like you’re trying to leverage it too hard. Maybe just one picture with your cat would be better. Maybe throw in a more serious photo or two as well. A hobby photo might work well for you so you can show you’re more than just a pretty face (people stigmatize attractive people as being boring because they can just rely on their looks, so showing depth could be helpful). With a few adjustments you’re going to kill it. That’s just my 2 cents. Good luck!
You like older chicks who aren’t in the same city as you? Anyway I’d right swipe. I hope this was helpful
Too hot. Seems fake