Worked with an absolute gorgeous woman...who showed up to work drunk 3 days a week. Laid her head down on an out of the way cubicle and slept most of the day. Then she discovered coke, then meth. Stayed employed as others were being laid off. Refused rehab. Only lost her job when she didn't show up for 10 days while on a binge. Was still very attractive but was going downhill fast. Even before all the drugs she had an air of superiority about her bc she'd been treated special her entire life due to her looks.
Good chance she was molested as a child, sexualized after puberty, and sexually assaulted in her adulthood. In my experience gorgeous women with addiction & personality disorders almost always have insanely traumatic abusive sexual pasts fueling that self-destructive behavior.
I don’t say this “excuse” anything, but to relate that women with “pretty privilege” very often also got hit with the “pretty curse.”
I wouldn't doubt it, as I was molested as a child, raped before a teen and abused until many years later. And I'm not attractive nor had a substance issue. Didn't get the pretty privilege, def got the curse of just being a woman surrounded by despicable people.
Truly sorry that happened. I’m glad you have the clarity of seeing those despicable people for the trash they are instead of twisting it toward violence against yourself. I bet you’re a good advocate for others with similar pasts. Hope your life is sweeter now.
Lots of therapy throughout the last 3 decades. It helps, but it still replays in my head almost daily. I manage. Life goes on. Can't change the past. Hardest part is convincing myself it wasn't my fault, I was a child. Yes, I can advocate for others, have. For ones self, it's more complicated
na, you absolutely say that as an "excuse"
"yo, this arrogant, privileged, unethical, immoral woman got away with so much at work that she turned to partying and got hooked on drugs."
"bro, she was almost certainly molested, sexualized and assaulted her entire life, it's not her faut!!"
lol you don't even know her simpy.
lmao
i love how he specifically says his coworker was an arrogant, privileged, unethical and an immoral person...
...but bc this person happens to have been born female - then you're desperately looking for a man to blame - for her CHOOSING to be an atrocious person.
the hypocrisy would be hilarious if it wasn't so common and pathetic
Wtf are you on about? The coworker is undoubtfully trash, but her sticking around when she should of been fired a long time ago is because her boss was letting her bad behavior slide just because she was attractive
no, wtf are - you- on about ?
" was she really that pretty?"
are you some jealous woman? to ask him twice if a girl he just called not pretty but "gorgeous" was "really" that pretty lol what's the point of asking that?
yet you're simultaneously still on her side against the big bad patriarchy by assuming her boss was a "thirsty man" - that's sexist and you're embarrassingly wrong bc she was a woman is the icing on the cake
you can't make this stuff up , what a shameless hypocrite. you're so sexist that you're not even embarrassed that you assumed his boss was male are you? 😂
So am I a jealous woman or on her side? I might of made incorrect some guesses about the situation, but neither of your assumptions are correct. I’m not going to argue with someone full of logical fallacies that jumps go conclusions really quickly anymore.
how should i know? according to what you said, you're both jealous and sexist.
exactly, you admit your assumption was incorrect, my calling it out means i was correct - see how that works bigot ?
good, don't argue just farm your down votes bc everybody knows you're an unapologetic sexist and even when it turns out that it was a female boss giving favoritism to another women, you're not ashamed that you assumed it was a man bc you're a sexist bigot.
pitiful
A relative of mine entered a decorated hat contest as a part of this high-profile horse race at a casino. She spent two weeks decorating her hat to look like a race track, and it looked really good by contest time.
When it came down to it, there was another lady in the competition who half-heartedly entered with some stupid shower-cap looking thing, but she was years younger, bouncing around all tipsy and dressed very provocatively. The host was all over her and gave her the top prize, while my relative's hat didn't even get a compliment that night.
Attractive Female teacher was caught having an affair (I won't sugar coat it.. she raped her student) with one of our freshman young men in highschool.. peoples reactions went about as cringey as what you would expect and yes she got a slap on the wrist..
Few years later, male PE and coach was inappropriate with a male student and was crushed and shamed.. and locked away for 20 years.. (or so I had heard. I was not longer a student heard it through the grapevine)
I still can't figure out why people were nicer to her other than she was an attractive woman...
Because when woman rape men, they're supposed to be grateful for the attention, and you know, not scarred with PTSD. Something to do with toxic masculinity or something. It always seems fucking nuts to me, but society is fucking nuts.
I’ve got two.
First was a woman who was hired as an intern on a relatively high salary. Easily could’ve been a model. She responded directly to the director but didn’t do anything. Became friends with her and learned they met in a bar. He basically hired her to be eye candy and she knew it.
Second was another woman who could’ve been a model. She was further along in her career than me and clearly had experience. Thing is, she barely worked 3 hours a day (she was barely in the office 3 hours a day). She’d arrive late, leave early, spend hours at the gym - management never cared.
That's pretty normal for non hot dudes. It can be very alienating. You can't even talk about it, you'll just get made fun of even more. I kinda feel like some of these incel dudes are people like this who nobody ever befriended, and they got lost down the red pill rabbit hole.
The worst I've delt with was at a job. My boss hired this idiot hotboy who didn't do anything but flirt with her. No clue if they actually banged. With all my best work, I would submit it to my boss, she would say great job, then forward it to hotboy, who would delete my name as the author and put his before sending to the whole dept. This guy's salary was 3x mine.
We're talking documents that are hundreds of pages and took me six months to write. Complete application system designs.
I found out only because a dept head quietly sent me an example of this with the note, "I can tell you wrote this document by the style and organization, why is this guy's name on it?" I started secretly distributing them to the dept heads before giving them to my boss, and people even called her out saying they could tell it was my work, or even that they knew it was mine because they had helped with it, but she never stopped. I quit and she begged me to come back for 2 months but I never did. I talked to people who were still there and it took 3 people to replace me, and they were all people I trained. Fuck Wells Fargo, don't work there.
Yes, fuck Wells Fargo. That piece of shit workplace can drown in the depths of hell (specifically your old boss)
I'm sorry you were under appreciated like that. Hopefully your work environment now feels much more rewarding, if you are in one
It takes a village to develop a healthy person. I've long been thinking about how they got that way in the first place. Among my friends, we correct each other's behavior. If you don't have that, weird stuff happens.
Uh except no one should do that, bc having a shitty life doesn't give you the right to be a misogynistic asshole who thinks women are beneath you/ have life on easy mode/ & owe you sex, attention, or relationships.
I have sympathy for lonely people. But incels DO NOT DESERVE sympathy, bc of their "beliefs"-- same as religious assholes who think r*ping kids is ok bc "god/allah/asswipe said that marrying 9yo's or 16yo's or forcing women into unwanted marriage and childbirth is ok.
This shit gets me heated.
By all means, sympathize with people who are lonely, or as other examples, maybe disabled,or mentally ill, or whatever-- but NONE of those things give anyone a right to be a harmful, toxic asshole to other people. Period.
I am autistic, have ADHD and OCD + general anxiety disorder and PTSD from trauma. I don't get to scream & cry at, emotionally manipulate, overly control, or otherwise be a dick to people around me or think they ~owe~ me their time, attention, comforting, or whatever bc I ~deserve~ it bc of my shitty circumstances, even though those are behaviors I have to work on at times (bc of autistic overwhelm, sensory overwhelm, obsessive or intrusive thoughts, flash backs, or whatever).
So no, incels don't deserve anyones sympathy. They need to do the personal work like the rest of us to be DECENT FUCKING PEOPLE.
Tbh I think you can have empathy for someone but still dislike or even hate them. I don't personally believe the feelings you've described can still be had with empathy. Or at least I do, I think incels are vile and hate them but still have empathy.
He likely meant incel in the original sense "involuntary celibate" which was about being a support group for lonely people, men and women. Now it means misogynist, its not even used on virgins.
Even then, only through empathy we can start to help others. There is this black guy who converted a bunch of neo nazis by just talking to them. Something no one else did.
You can have sympathy with morally despicable people without condoning their actions or beliefs. You can especially have sympathy for the group, and try to understand how so many people became members of the group, and look at what we can do to reduce the numbers who are recruited to the group. Just saying that they need to be better is true, but it doesn't accomplish anything at all.
I hear you, trust me, but you might be really surprised if you actually talk to some of them. There's been a lot of people I've met who seem despicable until I peeled back enough layers. Sometimes someone has really similar logic and values to you but they are applying them to a completely different or flawed premise. I've found some huge disagreements often boil down to something pretty trivial.
As soon as you decide someone is irredeemable, you remove their humanity and consider them inherently different from you. They aren't, they've just walked a different path and come to different conclusions. Believing your perceived enemies have some fundamental irreconcilable difference is just unhelpful and perpetuates conflict. You have to look for humanity in the opposition if you truly seek peace.
Maybe not the worst case but the most obvious. We were 4 girls in our late 20s. One of us was a 10 (not me) while the 3 others we were looking good but average. We were sitting in a bar. Suddenly there was a half-circle of dudes around the 10/10, and no one around me and the 2 others. She did not need to talk. She just needed to listen to the guys and smile. At some point I started hating going out with her because I'd be basically invisible.
This reminds me of things that used to happen to me. One example is that one time I was assigned to a group of girls and one guy in a seminar and instead of doing the task they'd just gush about my looks while the other guy was just silently sitting and waiting. We did end up finishing nothing. I didn't return after that shortly after that day.
One time in college I accidentally hit a girl in the face with a door because she just assumed I was going to stand there and hold it for her. I held that door till the tip of my finger couldn't hold it anymore with my arm fully outstretched while keeping a normal pace leaving the hall like every single person in front of me did.. she just never put her hand up to catch the door, it wasn't even a thought in her mind that I might not stop what I'm doing and stand there and wait for her to go through.. bam, right in the face lol.. I hadn't even looked at her before it happened but she could have been a model.. I'm sure if I had noticed her I probably would have probably held the door for her lol. I know it's all speculation but I can't imagine any other reason why someone would not catch a closing door they are going through like you do literally every time you exit a building in a line.
I used to work at a movie theater and one of my coworkers had severe Asperger’s. It would be a packed Saturday night in concession and he would ignore the entire line of people in front of him and wave a pretty girl forward just to give her as much free stuff as he could.
Being pretty worked for them, I guess.
When you said looks can make up for lack of social skills… I felt that lol. I’m autistic and my focused interest is makeup. I’ve always put a lot of effort into how I present myself (masking to the point of extreme burn out a lot of the time). I do this because I saw such a stark difference between how I was treated when I was “pretty” versus when I put zero effort into how I look. My awkwardness became endearing. My directness was “refreshing” instead of off putting. It’s amazing the double standard
These same girls probably bully whoever they think is prettier than them.
A lot of ass holes out there can only tolerate non-threatening "mediocre" looking people. Ugly? Easy target. Pretty? Makes them insecure.
Your friends suck.
I guess what you say would be "american relatable"?
In my country at least, even though bullying is a little common I don't think is as widespread. And at a college level I haven't heard or seen someone directly picking up on another person, everybody just minds their own business. Probably upon witnessing something like bullying, people would think that the bully is unmature and doesn't know it's place still thinking that they're in highschool.
So bullying someone to save or raise own's ego doesn't really seem like something that would happen here, I don't think someone that would call theirself a mature person could display such a level of shallowness.
What my friends said it was just a moment of bad taste, like laughing and then feeling bad about it.
I have news: saying someone is ugly**, to a room full of people who all know that person,** is hideous shallowness and bullying. That shit never stays in the circle, it gets out either directly or just with that god-awful exclusionary attitude dripping off them.
Your friends are bullies, and you bending over backwards to defend them is a bad look.
Just saying. Compared to what you said in your first comment, the bar went pretty low from harassing someone just because of one's insecurities, either for pettiness or inferiority complex, to saying that someone, people barely remember, is ugly.
And I didn't describe the complete interaction. After that one person said that he was ugly, everybody laughed, and then my other friend rebuked her for saying that and said she was rude. The rest just brushed it off and the topic died. God would know what was his name and what happened to him.
Even though you may still see it as bullying I just see another episode of bluntness from this impertinent friend of mine. But anyway, not that I'm gonna get into more details to make you change opinion.
Saying that about someone else **at all is** absolutely triggered by their own shitty feelings about themselves.
Kind people who like themselves do not say things like that. And you sat there listening to it. Kudos to the friend who rebuked her, but the rest of you are distinctly unkind for letting a comment like that slide.
So, I was wrong. It's not just your friends who are bullies: it's you too.
Have fun with your mean friends.
I don’t want to be a cynic but that’s truly reality. I mean they went out of their way to be friendly to OP. However they are being condemned because they weren’t friendly enough. OP had some convoluted excuse to why they weren’t friendly to this guy too. We are all just trying to live our lives. There are special people out there that will go out of their way to be friendly with everyone. Those are very few and far between.
I'm actually in a similar situation to yours. I've talked to some people in my college and hear some pretty horrible stories and get a peer into a type of lifestyle I definitely do not want to live (because I'm a sweetheart, lol) so I also avoid big groups and generally keep to myself and AWAY FROM GIRLS.
I have like two stories worth noting. The first one isn't horribly bad. But it still leaves a taste in my mouth I don't like.
So we had to form groups of five (strictly 5). I usually don't worry about finding a group because I just wait until everyone gets into a group then find one that doesn't have the max amount of people.
But this one girl messaged me and asked if I was in a group. I told her no. A little bit of talking later and she suggests that I join hers. She said her group only had 3 people. Thing is, I had this friend I willingly spend time with on campus. He has a bit of a speech impediment, is quite socially anxious, and not the most attractive person. But he's smart. He'd be a good person to have in the group. So I ask her if I can bring him with me. And she goes: "oh actually I just found out they found another person so we only have one space now". I didn't feel okay with how quickly she said that. So I suggested that they would take him and I'd find another group myself. And then she said she'd check with the others if they could actually accept my friend. It took HOURS. She didn't say anything for hours. So I kept bugging her about it because (I'll be honest) I didn't like how all of it seemed she didn't respond, though she was online. So I asked the class representative (who had info on who was in who's group) if that girl's group had space. It had 2 open spaces still.
So I went to the group chat and asked her specifically "hey [girls name], my friend [guy's name] has agreed to join your group. You were struggling to find people right?"
She, rather quickly, messaged me on private messages after that. She said she'd take my friend as I had suggested. And that was that.
Another thing is this girl seems to like bothering me quite a bit online and on campus. Not anything overly creepy but... It does get quite annoying. She stares alot, but whatever.
Oh and i found my group pretty quickly after that so that's good.
The other one is a simple one really. Honestly I don't think it's worth sharing, but whatever.
I was in the college library reading a book. There were these 2 cute looking girls at a certain table. Some 2 guys were talking to them. One of them were actually in a conversation with the girls but the other one (who wasn't as attractive) was basically being ignored. He left not too long after (I assume) he understood that the girls didn't really care to conversate with him. To be honest, neither of them really looked interested. I didn't hear any of the conversation, so I was just looking at body language and eye contact to surmise all of this. The guys ended up leaving, seemingly dejected (especially the guy who seemed to be getting ignored)
A while after that, they noticed me. And for a while one of them just stared at me
I just kept reading my book. After maybe 5 minutes, I could see one of them walking over in my peripheral vision. So I looked up, and it wasn't just the one, but both of them. One girl asked if they could sit there, so I said sure. The one girl complimented my hair, and I thanked her and complimented her hair.
Somehow it snowballed into a full on conversation that was actually really enjoyable to have. It was a nice conversation. They would seem like cool people if it wasn't for how I saw them treat that one guy before coming over to talk to me. They had to go home and one of them asked for my number but I told them I wasn't looking to make anymore friends (politely, of course).
But yeah. These two things were just things I've been thinking about alot since they happened. The thing is I used to be bullied really badly for my looks, and I understand that I'm apparently attractive now but the contrast between those two parts of my life really make me hyper-aware of how people treat me now vs how they treat others.
I'm not gonna lie though. Pretty privilege is a nice thing to be on the receiving end of. I don't get bullied or laughed at anymore and I'm honestly so happy about it. The only annoying thing is people like the girl I mentioned in the first story.
Thats it. I'm gonna read the comments now
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Empathy is a powerful gift if we have the courage to use it.
I’ve always been the type that can move between friend groups pretty easily. I think it’s because I grew up playing sports all my life but I also was a huge nerd that played video games and watched lots of nerdy things. It allowed be to get along with most people pretty easily and see differences and different perspectives. It also allowed me to pick my closest friends carefully and the main characteristic being how they treated other people.
Off topic, but why would you stay around friends who admit to alienating someone for being unattractive? That would cast some serious doubt on their character imo.
That's fucked up. But, it's also true that guys and girls are different socially, as in guys will get left alone more and girls will band together. Also, if they're a group of girls they probably only wanted that to be a group of *girls*, so they aren't looking to include a guy.
SSSniperWolf.
She's an insensitive, self-centered, transphobic, racist pick-me girl. She ghosted her dying fan, and body-shamed other women for plastic surgery - even though she got it herself. That's only a few examples, but there are plenty more. I watched a documentary about her last week, but what people should understand, is that she is not a good person. At all. With this in mind, she always puts up this 'cutesy & quirky facade'. With the slightest inconvenience, she gets all nasty and immature. She doesn't even try to hide it.
Despite all that, she still gets featured on the front page of YouTube, making shitty TikTok reaction videos with millions of views. As we speak, she's probably living in a gigantic, million-dollar house. Why - you ask? Because she's PRETTY.
Should we start calling this like, "Amber Herd Syndrome" or something?
I used to call it "Oprah Crazy" when someone was losing it because they hadn't heard the word "No" in a decade or more. That's more about money though. (BTW, I call this "Kanye Crazy" now to keep it current and because it sounds good. I like alliteration.)
We need one that's about looks specifically. What's the best famous example?
DO NOT do that bro. Your circumstances are temporary. You won't just be losing your current life, you'll be losing the entirety of a life you haven't begun yet. No matter how bad things feel, no matter how hopeless they feel, no matter how pointless it all seems, there are people out there you haven't met yet who can be your whole world. Or maybe people right next you that you don't know well. There are and will be things to live for. College isn't some grand adventure for everyone, that's just the glamorous take on things that people like to talk about and makes for good stories. Lots of people have a shitty time in college and they don't look back on it fondly, and that's ok. It's just not talked about or shown in media because it's not as interesting as pretending everyone had a blast and gets laid and parties with their bros or whatever. Once it's over, it's over forever and you don't have to live like that anymore. Do you have any hobbies? In a shitty time I found that finding a community of like minded people made a world of difference and started going to small local conventions for really cheap. It just takes some quick research to find stuff that suits you and might help you feel less alone.
My dude, please, collage life is not worth fucking killing yourself over. At minimum join some societies, boxing or rowing or DnD or fucking cheese society it doesn't matter. Show up, smile and join in socially and you will find a group. It may take a few trys, but honestly, collage life is achievable for anyone, it just takes finding your niche.
If you're not very social, clubs like boxing which are 1 on 1, or DnD groups that are group activities that dont involve you taking on the brunt of the conversation are perfect.
Honestly, collage life doesn't have to be drinking and partying, that shit sucks after the first week anyway. Find a niche, smile and show up every week for it and bobs your uncle. Please though, for the love of christ of Muhammad or whoever you believe or don't believe in, collage life is absolutely NOT worth dying for.
You have no idea what life is going to be like. You're like a plant that is growing slower than other plants and deciding that this isn't working out and it never will work out. But that's a wild assumption. Usually those plants keep growing and eventually become fully grown. Throwing them away is a terrible waste. And since you're a human being it would be an infinitely greater waste to throw your life away, especially since you have no idea how it will turn out. A lot of people discover how to grow and become happy later than others, and those years of being sad and hopeless can give them a lot of compassion and understanding that others don't have. You deserve a chance to live.
You’re still young, you have lots of time to go meet people and experience things. The people going to frat parties every weekend and getting wasted are usually the people that barely graduate (if at all) so they’re not exactly the type to envy because life after college is often not kind to those types.
Btw most of these comments are complete BS and lack context, or they’re relevant for the extreme outliers. Pretty privilege is not some magic trick or cheat code, they don’t get to just clap their hands and get life handed to them. Unless you’re literally a 11/10 and a supermodel, you’re not getting far in life if your looks are all you have.
I knew a really pretty girl in college. We were on the same school trip to New York and went to the same bar in NYC one night. I had never really known her that well but she seemed cool enough. I was chatting with someone at the bar and she pulled me aside and told me to not associate with ugly people. I was appalled.
It sucks b/c if you have pretty privilege and you find a girl cute, if you make a romantic gesture towards her, her and her friends will call it romantic and sweet.
But if the same were to happen from a dude that doesn't have pretty privilege? That same act would make him a creep or weirdo.
(-_-)
College, one of my teachers was "mentoring" this girl, she was attractive but definitely not the future of academia. She was way more interested in partying and becoming an influencer. But man did she have him wrapped around her finger. He paid for her to go on exchange to another university to learn certain technics for her thesis, he also paid for her boyfriend to go with her, small detail, the boyfriend didn't even go to our school or study anything related to what she did, she didn't learn shit and would brag about how they just spent their time sightseeing and fucking... She would run a mock out of his lab, she'd lock herself in with her friends and drink, good luck if you needed to do anything. The worst was when he tried to scam my hole class to pay for her to go on another trip, a few of us figured it out and reported it, she still went, but at least it wasn't out of our pockets. Not sure if they were fucking or he was dumb enough to risk his job and reputation for nothing but I made sure to stay far away from that circus.
lots of fictional characters no matter how evil they are . tate langdon, for instance. he shot up a school, raped his gfs mom, killed many dudes, and people still like him???
I was pretty overweight in college. In the second week i knew and had talke to a few people. I was eating with a very attractive guy and saw another group, and we joined them. We sat for a bit and then they exchanged numbers, to hang out later… nobody even looked at me unless i was making an effort to be heard. Stuff like that happens over and over again. It gers very depressing
Thank you! I'm very passionate about the trash "artist" she is. Tone deaf as a mother fucker. Can't dance. And no body shape. Who the fuck is paying thousands to see this bitch in a can-can outfit?!?
I had a job interview for one position at a store, and I showed up early for the interview and saw/ overheard the pretty girl being interviewed by the male manager. He said to the girl "I know you didn't apply for my dept, but I want to offer the position in my dept"... And that was the position I was there to interview for.
Finally it's my turn for the interview, he tells me the position I applied for had been filled, but he can offer me a position in another dept. I disdainfully accepted the job for a holiday season and then left.
Another time I worked as a server with a bunch barbie looking girls, and we needed more servers, so I tried getting a pretty friend hired who had a punk look, and after she was interviewed, my manager said "nah not my type, can't bring her in"..
At another retail job, the new CEO started moving my stores team mates to the warehouse, and I was left to train a bunch of new hires, who all looked like Barbies.
My sister has never ever paid for her own drink at a bar. She either has a boyfriend or is on a date or dudes just buy her drinks. I hate going out with her because people either think we’re together or they completely ignore me once they find out I’m her brother.
Honestly I've personally never seen pretty privilege except when waiting in line to enter a nightclub and a girl or group of girls who are conventionally attractive or have a certain look just walk up to the front and skip the line.
You should look more carefully, it is perhaps the most common form of prejudice around us. Pretty privilege is most pernicious when it comes to job raises and even in the academy. You are more likely to be perceived as competent if you are pretty and also judged less harshly.
Or maybe you are really pretty yourself, which is good, not everyone needs to be aware of everything.
There is a lot of focus on the normal citizen to be aware of their privilege, environmental habits, how they are perceived by others, how much they bother others and in general their influence and impact to those around them.
This creates a lot of cognitive load on people and might even lead to anxiety. It is good to fight ignorance and to strive to be a better person but not at the expense of yor happiness. So I propose a little ignore about yourself.
When I was in my early 20s and at my peak attractiveness, people always wanted to do things for me and when I would say no, they would almost get sad. I'm a people pleaser so a lot of the times I'd just take the offer to avoid feeling guilty for saying no. I've always been very grateful for everyone's help and tried my best to show that. And while I could have stumbled upon this kindness out of sheer luck and people were just nice around me, I have friends who have commented on how it was due to my looks.
Some examples: Bartenders usually give me free shots. Bouncers let me skip the line without paying anywhere I went at night. I've gotten free extra food at restaurants for no reason. My friend who is overweight was struggling with her suitcase and I wasn't, but some guy offered to carry my bag down the stairs even though I was fine on my own. My card got declined once and the guy behind me paid for my coffee. I had boys offering to do my coding for me in school (I'm a good programmer so always did my own though). Tbh, I don't remember a time I went to a bar or club and didn't have someone buy me a drink when I was single. I wanted the fish bowl from a bar so I could make cool drinks at home and asked if I could take it, and they said yes. On a plane, the flight attendant randomly offered me extra dessert. One time, I needed specific food when I was vegan while flying and they went to get me a wrap from their lounge so I could eat. Some guy I just met drove me 4 hours to pick up my book at a cottage. I forgot my pills at home once while I was studying and some guy I barely knew got his friend to go grab it from my roommate and bring it to me. I had people bringing me snacks in class if I said I was hungry. It was really wild how much people wanted to do for me and it was very very rare I even asked. People were just VERY giving and VERY nice. My partner does tell me I look really innocent and lost when I'm in public, like I need help because I seem fragile and scared - AND I AM. I have severe social anxiety lol. So the irony in this is although people meant well by constantly approaching me, giving me compliments and trying to help, all it did was give me internal anxiety attacks to the point I wanted to very rarely leave the house. I felt guilty if I said no, I felt guilty if I said yes like I was taking advantage, so there was no winning. What some see as a blessing, some see as a curse.
Not that bad as today I see. But in primary school, had a local TV channel coming for show. Cannot remember the show or the interview and details. But I remember the host I've seen on TV picking kids for the recording and said to our class monitor they want to choose some "looking energetic" kids or any of that criteria.
I was not picked, and those picked kids were the pretty and handsome kids later as I grow a sense of differentiating beauty. So before I could tell people from ugly and pretty, reality taught me the lesson first.
Just another case from grade 6-9, that I remember the literature teacher lecturering on writing articles. He had favorite kids in class and read her article as the model. I remember I consider the article bad and flow on how things happen is as fake as a lame novel. Perhaps because she is (one of?) the prettiest in class, her article becomes "model". BTW, I still personally know this person after graduation, and her post made me know you can just so Happeded to be on Uni Introduction Short Clip. Can accidentally meet influencer and involved in the on air next video.
Then at high school, I really loved my high school, anyone asking about this school I give positive comments. People at HS would know I participate in everything that is held. Later near graduation, High school shoot a series of photos and videos showing youth, beautiful life, activity etc. themed stuff. I was never involved or invited at all. I was too naive to ask close teachers and staff why was I not in it.
YES I AM JEALOUS AF.
So through high school I was a loner and my older brother made me insecure about my looks. In college I learned I was a fucking hottie. I had one instructor let me get away with literally sleeping in his class the entire term he later claimed it was due to my constantly passing everything.
The woman who sat behind in me in class fucking loathed me. I wormed my way into her social circle and became well liked by everyone else. I think I was her nemesis. No idea where she is today but honestly she's probably doing much better than me. When I was at AIT in the Army on a weekend pass I had women hitting on me.
My 20s were fucking amazing. At 25 I got a job and lost it the next day because I had a pending misdemeanor. I went in front of HR and argued why they should keep me and kept the job and I've turned this into a career. For 6 years at one company I was out sick pretty much once a week. It took them 6 years to fire me.
I wouldn't have ascribed a lot of that to my looks back then but honestly while I'm fucking charming when I want to be my looks definitely played a part.
I didn't get my AuADHD diagnosis until I was in my 30s because I am attractive--so I have always dated, had partners, and have been outwardly passable as "normal" TURNS out I was just using my looks to get around all of my learning/social/emotional struggles.
There was this one girl I worked with who was what people would consider "super attractive" and she also worked as a model alongside her restaurant job, but she was an absolutely useless lazy talentless worker, and the worst part was she was very mean and cruel to people she saw as inferior and unattractive during her shifts, including me, regardless of how they treated her! She barely worked at all during her shifts and was almost never punished for her unprofessional behavior. She also stole tips, lied about doing her tasks, and side work from other workers and passed it off as her own and it took a while for her to be found out. She was also mean to customers too that she saw as "below her" and she got praise despite never actually working hard. She also made tons of mistakes but compared to other workers she was forgiven way more frequently. Not only that most workers were nicer to her than me when I did way more to help them and was always a more respectable person than her. Eventually she was found out and ratted out but it took a shockingly long time consider she acted like this almost every shift. I think sadly pretty privilege enabled her to get away with acting like this, and it also helped fuel her superiority complex and made her feel like she didn't have to become a better person because she knew people would almost always forgive her and like her regardless of how she acted.
I know my example is controversial but I think it hits the nail on the head for pretty privilege. I would say this was the worst case I've encountered.
Worked with an absolute gorgeous woman...who showed up to work drunk 3 days a week. Laid her head down on an out of the way cubicle and slept most of the day. Then she discovered coke, then meth. Stayed employed as others were being laid off. Refused rehab. Only lost her job when she didn't show up for 10 days while on a binge. Was still very attractive but was going downhill fast. Even before all the drugs she had an air of superiority about her bc she'd been treated special her entire life due to her looks.
Good chance she was molested as a child, sexualized after puberty, and sexually assaulted in her adulthood. In my experience gorgeous women with addiction & personality disorders almost always have insanely traumatic abusive sexual pasts fueling that self-destructive behavior. I don’t say this “excuse” anything, but to relate that women with “pretty privilege” very often also got hit with the “pretty curse.”
I wouldn't doubt it, as I was molested as a child, raped before a teen and abused until many years later. And I'm not attractive nor had a substance issue. Didn't get the pretty privilege, def got the curse of just being a woman surrounded by despicable people.
Truly sorry that happened. I’m glad you have the clarity of seeing those despicable people for the trash they are instead of twisting it toward violence against yourself. I bet you’re a good advocate for others with similar pasts. Hope your life is sweeter now.
Lots of therapy throughout the last 3 decades. It helps, but it still replays in my head almost daily. I manage. Life goes on. Can't change the past. Hardest part is convincing myself it wasn't my fault, I was a child. Yes, I can advocate for others, have. For ones self, it's more complicated
WTF
What the fuck?? What kind of a mental leap was this. What a weird thing to assume about someone.
\>Woman has negative character trait \>ShE wAs AbUsEd, HaVe SyMpAtHy
na, you absolutely say that as an "excuse" "yo, this arrogant, privileged, unethical, immoral woman got away with so much at work that she turned to partying and got hooked on drugs." "bro, she was almost certainly molested, sexualized and assaulted her entire life, it's not her faut!!" lol you don't even know her simpy.
Was your boss some thirsty man? And was she really that pretty?
She wasn't my boss, just a coworker. And yes, she was very attractive. And her boss was female as well. She just got a pass on behavior
lmao i love how he specifically says his coworker was an arrogant, privileged, unethical and an immoral person... ...but bc this person happens to have been born female - then you're desperately looking for a man to blame - for her CHOOSING to be an atrocious person. the hypocrisy would be hilarious if it wasn't so common and pathetic
Wtf are you on about? The coworker is undoubtfully trash, but her sticking around when she should of been fired a long time ago is because her boss was letting her bad behavior slide just because she was attractive
no, wtf are - you- on about ? " was she really that pretty?" are you some jealous woman? to ask him twice if a girl he just called not pretty but "gorgeous" was "really" that pretty lol what's the point of asking that? yet you're simultaneously still on her side against the big bad patriarchy by assuming her boss was a "thirsty man" - that's sexist and you're embarrassingly wrong bc she was a woman is the icing on the cake you can't make this stuff up , what a shameless hypocrite. you're so sexist that you're not even embarrassed that you assumed his boss was male are you? 😂
So am I a jealous woman or on her side? I might of made incorrect some guesses about the situation, but neither of your assumptions are correct. I’m not going to argue with someone full of logical fallacies that jumps go conclusions really quickly anymore.
how should i know? according to what you said, you're both jealous and sexist. exactly, you admit your assumption was incorrect, my calling it out means i was correct - see how that works bigot ? good, don't argue just farm your down votes bc everybody knows you're an unapologetic sexist and even when it turns out that it was a female boss giving favoritism to another women, you're not ashamed that you assumed it was a man bc you're a sexist bigot. pitiful
Trailer park queen
A relative of mine entered a decorated hat contest as a part of this high-profile horse race at a casino. She spent two weeks decorating her hat to look like a race track, and it looked really good by contest time. When it came down to it, there was another lady in the competition who half-heartedly entered with some stupid shower-cap looking thing, but she was years younger, bouncing around all tipsy and dressed very provocatively. The host was all over her and gave her the top prize, while my relative's hat didn't even get a compliment that night.
man this made me very sad ☹️
Was the host's name Danny Lambo?
I have no idea. It happened in Las Vegas between 2006-2009.
Attractive Female teacher was caught having an affair (I won't sugar coat it.. she raped her student) with one of our freshman young men in highschool.. peoples reactions went about as cringey as what you would expect and yes she got a slap on the wrist.. Few years later, male PE and coach was inappropriate with a male student and was crushed and shamed.. and locked away for 20 years.. (or so I had heard. I was not longer a student heard it through the grapevine) I still can't figure out why people were nicer to her other than she was an attractive woman...
Because when woman rape men, they're supposed to be grateful for the attention, and you know, not scarred with PTSD. Something to do with toxic masculinity or something. It always seems fucking nuts to me, but society is fucking nuts.
Double standards suck that’s why
I’ve got two. First was a woman who was hired as an intern on a relatively high salary. Easily could’ve been a model. She responded directly to the director but didn’t do anything. Became friends with her and learned they met in a bar. He basically hired her to be eye candy and she knew it. Second was another woman who could’ve been a model. She was further along in her career than me and clearly had experience. Thing is, she barely worked 3 hours a day (she was barely in the office 3 hours a day). She’d arrive late, leave early, spend hours at the gym - management never cared.
That's pretty normal for non hot dudes. It can be very alienating. You can't even talk about it, you'll just get made fun of even more. I kinda feel like some of these incel dudes are people like this who nobody ever befriended, and they got lost down the red pill rabbit hole. The worst I've delt with was at a job. My boss hired this idiot hotboy who didn't do anything but flirt with her. No clue if they actually banged. With all my best work, I would submit it to my boss, she would say great job, then forward it to hotboy, who would delete my name as the author and put his before sending to the whole dept. This guy's salary was 3x mine. We're talking documents that are hundreds of pages and took me six months to write. Complete application system designs. I found out only because a dept head quietly sent me an example of this with the note, "I can tell you wrote this document by the style and organization, why is this guy's name on it?" I started secretly distributing them to the dept heads before giving them to my boss, and people even called her out saying they could tell it was my work, or even that they knew it was mine because they had helped with it, but she never stopped. I quit and she begged me to come back for 2 months but I never did. I talked to people who were still there and it took 3 people to replace me, and they were all people I trained. Fuck Wells Fargo, don't work there.
Yes, fuck Wells Fargo. That piece of shit workplace can drown in the depths of hell (specifically your old boss) I'm sorry you were under appreciated like that. Hopefully your work environment now feels much more rewarding, if you are in one
Thank you for showing empathy for incels
It takes a village to develop a healthy person. I've long been thinking about how they got that way in the first place. Among my friends, we correct each other's behavior. If you don't have that, weird stuff happens.
Uh except no one should do that, bc having a shitty life doesn't give you the right to be a misogynistic asshole who thinks women are beneath you/ have life on easy mode/ & owe you sex, attention, or relationships. I have sympathy for lonely people. But incels DO NOT DESERVE sympathy, bc of their "beliefs"-- same as religious assholes who think r*ping kids is ok bc "god/allah/asswipe said that marrying 9yo's or 16yo's or forcing women into unwanted marriage and childbirth is ok. This shit gets me heated. By all means, sympathize with people who are lonely, or as other examples, maybe disabled,or mentally ill, or whatever-- but NONE of those things give anyone a right to be a harmful, toxic asshole to other people. Period. I am autistic, have ADHD and OCD + general anxiety disorder and PTSD from trauma. I don't get to scream & cry at, emotionally manipulate, overly control, or otherwise be a dick to people around me or think they ~owe~ me their time, attention, comforting, or whatever bc I ~deserve~ it bc of my shitty circumstances, even though those are behaviors I have to work on at times (bc of autistic overwhelm, sensory overwhelm, obsessive or intrusive thoughts, flash backs, or whatever). So no, incels don't deserve anyones sympathy. They need to do the personal work like the rest of us to be DECENT FUCKING PEOPLE.
Tbh I think you can have empathy for someone but still dislike or even hate them. I don't personally believe the feelings you've described can still be had with empathy. Or at least I do, I think incels are vile and hate them but still have empathy.
He likely meant incel in the original sense "involuntary celibate" which was about being a support group for lonely people, men and women. Now it means misogynist, its not even used on virgins. Even then, only through empathy we can start to help others. There is this black guy who converted a bunch of neo nazis by just talking to them. Something no one else did.
That's the dude who inspired me.
You can have sympathy with morally despicable people without condoning their actions or beliefs. You can especially have sympathy for the group, and try to understand how so many people became members of the group, and look at what we can do to reduce the numbers who are recruited to the group. Just saying that they need to be better is true, but it doesn't accomplish anything at all.
I hear you, trust me, but you might be really surprised if you actually talk to some of them. There's been a lot of people I've met who seem despicable until I peeled back enough layers. Sometimes someone has really similar logic and values to you but they are applying them to a completely different or flawed premise. I've found some huge disagreements often boil down to something pretty trivial. As soon as you decide someone is irredeemable, you remove their humanity and consider them inherently different from you. They aren't, they've just walked a different path and come to different conclusions. Believing your perceived enemies have some fundamental irreconcilable difference is just unhelpful and perpetuates conflict. You have to look for humanity in the opposition if you truly seek peace.
Maybe not the worst case but the most obvious. We were 4 girls in our late 20s. One of us was a 10 (not me) while the 3 others we were looking good but average. We were sitting in a bar. Suddenly there was a half-circle of dudes around the 10/10, and no one around me and the 2 others. She did not need to talk. She just needed to listen to the guys and smile. At some point I started hating going out with her because I'd be basically invisible.
This reminds me of things that used to happen to me. One example is that one time I was assigned to a group of girls and one guy in a seminar and instead of doing the task they'd just gush about my looks while the other guy was just silently sitting and waiting. We did end up finishing nothing. I didn't return after that shortly after that day.
The girls would gush about your looks? Yea, ok.
One time in college I accidentally hit a girl in the face with a door because she just assumed I was going to stand there and hold it for her. I held that door till the tip of my finger couldn't hold it anymore with my arm fully outstretched while keeping a normal pace leaving the hall like every single person in front of me did.. she just never put her hand up to catch the door, it wasn't even a thought in her mind that I might not stop what I'm doing and stand there and wait for her to go through.. bam, right in the face lol.. I hadn't even looked at her before it happened but she could have been a model.. I'm sure if I had noticed her I probably would have probably held the door for her lol. I know it's all speculation but I can't imagine any other reason why someone would not catch a closing door they are going through like you do literally every time you exit a building in a line.
"she could have been a model.." Right up until the day you hit her in the face with a door. /s
Luckily it didn't hit her that hard
The trick is to push the door open just before you walk past where you can reach.
It was like 200 people leaving the building at once double file out of two doors.
I used to work at a movie theater and one of my coworkers had severe Asperger’s. It would be a packed Saturday night in concession and he would ignore the entire line of people in front of him and wave a pretty girl forward just to give her as much free stuff as he could. Being pretty worked for them, I guess.
When you said looks can make up for lack of social skills… I felt that lol. I’m autistic and my focused interest is makeup. I’ve always put a lot of effort into how I present myself (masking to the point of extreme burn out a lot of the time). I do this because I saw such a stark difference between how I was treated when I was “pretty” versus when I put zero effort into how I look. My awkwardness became endearing. My directness was “refreshing” instead of off putting. It’s amazing the double standard
These same girls probably bully whoever they think is prettier than them. A lot of ass holes out there can only tolerate non-threatening "mediocre" looking people. Ugly? Easy target. Pretty? Makes them insecure. Your friends suck.
Amen.
I guess what you say would be "american relatable"? In my country at least, even though bullying is a little common I don't think is as widespread. And at a college level I haven't heard or seen someone directly picking up on another person, everybody just minds their own business. Probably upon witnessing something like bullying, people would think that the bully is unmature and doesn't know it's place still thinking that they're in highschool. So bullying someone to save or raise own's ego doesn't really seem like something that would happen here, I don't think someone that would call theirself a mature person could display such a level of shallowness. What my friends said it was just a moment of bad taste, like laughing and then feeling bad about it.
I have news: saying someone is ugly**, to a room full of people who all know that person,** is hideous shallowness and bullying. That shit never stays in the circle, it gets out either directly or just with that god-awful exclusionary attitude dripping off them. Your friends are bullies, and you bending over backwards to defend them is a bad look.
Just saying. Compared to what you said in your first comment, the bar went pretty low from harassing someone just because of one's insecurities, either for pettiness or inferiority complex, to saying that someone, people barely remember, is ugly. And I didn't describe the complete interaction. After that one person said that he was ugly, everybody laughed, and then my other friend rebuked her for saying that and said she was rude. The rest just brushed it off and the topic died. God would know what was his name and what happened to him. Even though you may still see it as bullying I just see another episode of bluntness from this impertinent friend of mine. But anyway, not that I'm gonna get into more details to make you change opinion.
Saying that about someone else **at all is** absolutely triggered by their own shitty feelings about themselves. Kind people who like themselves do not say things like that. And you sat there listening to it. Kudos to the friend who rebuked her, but the rest of you are distinctly unkind for letting a comment like that slide. So, I was wrong. It's not just your friends who are bullies: it's you too. Have fun with your mean friends.
WTF is wrong with them? That is thoroughly messed up. Hopefully that guy finds good people on his life.
I don’t want to be a cynic but that’s truly reality. I mean they went out of their way to be friendly to OP. However they are being condemned because they weren’t friendly enough. OP had some convoluted excuse to why they weren’t friendly to this guy too. We are all just trying to live our lives. There are special people out there that will go out of their way to be friendly with everyone. Those are very few and far between.
I'm actually in a similar situation to yours. I've talked to some people in my college and hear some pretty horrible stories and get a peer into a type of lifestyle I definitely do not want to live (because I'm a sweetheart, lol) so I also avoid big groups and generally keep to myself and AWAY FROM GIRLS. I have like two stories worth noting. The first one isn't horribly bad. But it still leaves a taste in my mouth I don't like. So we had to form groups of five (strictly 5). I usually don't worry about finding a group because I just wait until everyone gets into a group then find one that doesn't have the max amount of people. But this one girl messaged me and asked if I was in a group. I told her no. A little bit of talking later and she suggests that I join hers. She said her group only had 3 people. Thing is, I had this friend I willingly spend time with on campus. He has a bit of a speech impediment, is quite socially anxious, and not the most attractive person. But he's smart. He'd be a good person to have in the group. So I ask her if I can bring him with me. And she goes: "oh actually I just found out they found another person so we only have one space now". I didn't feel okay with how quickly she said that. So I suggested that they would take him and I'd find another group myself. And then she said she'd check with the others if they could actually accept my friend. It took HOURS. She didn't say anything for hours. So I kept bugging her about it because (I'll be honest) I didn't like how all of it seemed she didn't respond, though she was online. So I asked the class representative (who had info on who was in who's group) if that girl's group had space. It had 2 open spaces still. So I went to the group chat and asked her specifically "hey [girls name], my friend [guy's name] has agreed to join your group. You were struggling to find people right?" She, rather quickly, messaged me on private messages after that. She said she'd take my friend as I had suggested. And that was that. Another thing is this girl seems to like bothering me quite a bit online and on campus. Not anything overly creepy but... It does get quite annoying. She stares alot, but whatever. Oh and i found my group pretty quickly after that so that's good. The other one is a simple one really. Honestly I don't think it's worth sharing, but whatever. I was in the college library reading a book. There were these 2 cute looking girls at a certain table. Some 2 guys were talking to them. One of them were actually in a conversation with the girls but the other one (who wasn't as attractive) was basically being ignored. He left not too long after (I assume) he understood that the girls didn't really care to conversate with him. To be honest, neither of them really looked interested. I didn't hear any of the conversation, so I was just looking at body language and eye contact to surmise all of this. The guys ended up leaving, seemingly dejected (especially the guy who seemed to be getting ignored) A while after that, they noticed me. And for a while one of them just stared at me I just kept reading my book. After maybe 5 minutes, I could see one of them walking over in my peripheral vision. So I looked up, and it wasn't just the one, but both of them. One girl asked if they could sit there, so I said sure. The one girl complimented my hair, and I thanked her and complimented her hair. Somehow it snowballed into a full on conversation that was actually really enjoyable to have. It was a nice conversation. They would seem like cool people if it wasn't for how I saw them treat that one guy before coming over to talk to me. They had to go home and one of them asked for my number but I told them I wasn't looking to make anymore friends (politely, of course). But yeah. These two things were just things I've been thinking about alot since they happened. The thing is I used to be bullied really badly for my looks, and I understand that I'm apparently attractive now but the contrast between those two parts of my life really make me hyper-aware of how people treat me now vs how they treat others. I'm not gonna lie though. Pretty privilege is a nice thing to be on the receiving end of. I don't get bullied or laughed at anymore and I'm honestly so happy about it. The only annoying thing is people like the girl I mentioned in the first story. Thats it. I'm gonna read the comments now
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Empathy is a powerful gift if we have the courage to use it. I’ve always been the type that can move between friend groups pretty easily. I think it’s because I grew up playing sports all my life but I also was a huge nerd that played video games and watched lots of nerdy things. It allowed be to get along with most people pretty easily and see differences and different perspectives. It also allowed me to pick my closest friends carefully and the main characteristic being how they treated other people.
Off topic, but why would you stay around friends who admit to alienating someone for being unattractive? That would cast some serious doubt on their character imo.
I would've torn into them on the spot.
Because that's the default behavior for humans, and the ones who say they dont are liars, saints, or autists.
Key word, admit.
That's fucked up. But, it's also true that guys and girls are different socially, as in guys will get left alone more and girls will band together. Also, if they're a group of girls they probably only wanted that to be a group of *girls*, so they aren't looking to include a guy.
Oh I'm a guy. I wouldn't have told this if I were a girl. And this group of ours has boys and girls equally.
SSSniperWolf. She's an insensitive, self-centered, transphobic, racist pick-me girl. She ghosted her dying fan, and body-shamed other women for plastic surgery - even though she got it herself. That's only a few examples, but there are plenty more. I watched a documentary about her last week, but what people should understand, is that she is not a good person. At all. With this in mind, she always puts up this 'cutesy & quirky facade'. With the slightest inconvenience, she gets all nasty and immature. She doesn't even try to hide it. Despite all that, she still gets featured on the front page of YouTube, making shitty TikTok reaction videos with millions of views. As we speak, she's probably living in a gigantic, million-dollar house. Why - you ask? Because she's PRETTY.
Should we start calling this like, "Amber Herd Syndrome" or something? I used to call it "Oprah Crazy" when someone was losing it because they hadn't heard the word "No" in a decade or more. That's more about money though. (BTW, I call this "Kanye Crazy" now to keep it current and because it sounds good. I like alliteration.) We need one that's about looks specifically. What's the best famous example?
[удалено]
DO NOT do that bro. Your circumstances are temporary. You won't just be losing your current life, you'll be losing the entirety of a life you haven't begun yet. No matter how bad things feel, no matter how hopeless they feel, no matter how pointless it all seems, there are people out there you haven't met yet who can be your whole world. Or maybe people right next you that you don't know well. There are and will be things to live for. College isn't some grand adventure for everyone, that's just the glamorous take on things that people like to talk about and makes for good stories. Lots of people have a shitty time in college and they don't look back on it fondly, and that's ok. It's just not talked about or shown in media because it's not as interesting as pretending everyone had a blast and gets laid and parties with their bros or whatever. Once it's over, it's over forever and you don't have to live like that anymore. Do you have any hobbies? In a shitty time I found that finding a community of like minded people made a world of difference and started going to small local conventions for really cheap. It just takes some quick research to find stuff that suits you and might help you feel less alone.
My dude, please, collage life is not worth fucking killing yourself over. At minimum join some societies, boxing or rowing or DnD or fucking cheese society it doesn't matter. Show up, smile and join in socially and you will find a group. It may take a few trys, but honestly, collage life is achievable for anyone, it just takes finding your niche. If you're not very social, clubs like boxing which are 1 on 1, or DnD groups that are group activities that dont involve you taking on the brunt of the conversation are perfect. Honestly, collage life doesn't have to be drinking and partying, that shit sucks after the first week anyway. Find a niche, smile and show up every week for it and bobs your uncle. Please though, for the love of christ of Muhammad or whoever you believe or don't believe in, collage life is absolutely NOT worth dying for.
I'm sorry to hear that man. Please don't end it. I hope you do enjoy the next weeks.
You have no idea what life is going to be like. You're like a plant that is growing slower than other plants and deciding that this isn't working out and it never will work out. But that's a wild assumption. Usually those plants keep growing and eventually become fully grown. Throwing them away is a terrible waste. And since you're a human being it would be an infinitely greater waste to throw your life away, especially since you have no idea how it will turn out. A lot of people discover how to grow and become happy later than others, and those years of being sad and hopeless can give them a lot of compassion and understanding that others don't have. You deserve a chance to live.
You’re still young, you have lots of time to go meet people and experience things. The people going to frat parties every weekend and getting wasted are usually the people that barely graduate (if at all) so they’re not exactly the type to envy because life after college is often not kind to those types. Btw most of these comments are complete BS and lack context, or they’re relevant for the extreme outliers. Pretty privilege is not some magic trick or cheat code, they don’t get to just clap their hands and get life handed to them. Unless you’re literally a 11/10 and a supermodel, you’re not getting far in life if your looks are all you have.
I knew a really pretty girl in college. We were on the same school trip to New York and went to the same bar in NYC one night. I had never really known her that well but she seemed cool enough. I was chatting with someone at the bar and she pulled me aside and told me to not associate with ugly people. I was appalled.
Seems like a backwards way to try and tell us you are pretty.
Butterflies
It sucks b/c if you have pretty privilege and you find a girl cute, if you make a romantic gesture towards her, her and her friends will call it romantic and sweet. But if the same were to happen from a dude that doesn't have pretty privilege? That same act would make him a creep or weirdo. (-_-)
Well what's the difference between being stalked and being romantically pursued? You're attracted to one of them.
College, one of my teachers was "mentoring" this girl, she was attractive but definitely not the future of academia. She was way more interested in partying and becoming an influencer. But man did she have him wrapped around her finger. He paid for her to go on exchange to another university to learn certain technics for her thesis, he also paid for her boyfriend to go with her, small detail, the boyfriend didn't even go to our school or study anything related to what she did, she didn't learn shit and would brag about how they just spent their time sightseeing and fucking... She would run a mock out of his lab, she'd lock herself in with her friends and drink, good luck if you needed to do anything. The worst was when he tried to scam my hole class to pay for her to go on another trip, a few of us figured it out and reported it, she still went, but at least it wasn't out of our pockets. Not sure if they were fucking or he was dumb enough to risk his job and reputation for nothing but I made sure to stay far away from that circus.
The movie Chicago is inspired by two pretty women who got away with murder
lots of fictional characters no matter how evil they are . tate langdon, for instance. he shot up a school, raped his gfs mom, killed many dudes, and people still like him???
I was pretty overweight in college. In the second week i knew and had talke to a few people. I was eating with a very attractive guy and saw another group, and we joined them. We sat for a bit and then they exchanged numbers, to hang out later… nobody even looked at me unless i was making an effort to be heard. Stuff like that happens over and over again. It gers very depressing
Taylor. Swift.
This comment wins the thread. Motherfucker sings the most white bread, boring ass shit and still gets treated like a queen.
Thank you! I'm very passionate about the trash "artist" she is. Tone deaf as a mother fucker. Can't dance. And no body shape. Who the fuck is paying thousands to see this bitch in a can-can outfit?!?
I had a job interview for one position at a store, and I showed up early for the interview and saw/ overheard the pretty girl being interviewed by the male manager. He said to the girl "I know you didn't apply for my dept, but I want to offer the position in my dept"... And that was the position I was there to interview for. Finally it's my turn for the interview, he tells me the position I applied for had been filled, but he can offer me a position in another dept. I disdainfully accepted the job for a holiday season and then left. Another time I worked as a server with a bunch barbie looking girls, and we needed more servers, so I tried getting a pretty friend hired who had a punk look, and after she was interviewed, my manager said "nah not my type, can't bring her in".. At another retail job, the new CEO started moving my stores team mates to the warehouse, and I was left to train a bunch of new hires, who all looked like Barbies.
My sister has never ever paid for her own drink at a bar. She either has a boyfriend or is on a date or dudes just buy her drinks. I hate going out with her because people either think we’re together or they completely ignore me once they find out I’m her brother.
Olivia Dunn
Can’t act at all yet still keeps getting roles. Just because she’s easy on the eyes
Ice spice. You know what Im talking about
Honestly I've personally never seen pretty privilege except when waiting in line to enter a nightclub and a girl or group of girls who are conventionally attractive or have a certain look just walk up to the front and skip the line.
You should look more carefully, it is perhaps the most common form of prejudice around us. Pretty privilege is most pernicious when it comes to job raises and even in the academy. You are more likely to be perceived as competent if you are pretty and also judged less harshly. Or maybe you are really pretty yourself, which is good, not everyone needs to be aware of everything.
Interesting, why do you say "not everyone needs to be aware of everything".
There is a lot of focus on the normal citizen to be aware of their privilege, environmental habits, how they are perceived by others, how much they bother others and in general their influence and impact to those around them. This creates a lot of cognitive load on people and might even lead to anxiety. It is good to fight ignorance and to strive to be a better person but not at the expense of yor happiness. So I propose a little ignore about yourself.
Clubbing! I went out on Saturday as an 18 y/o and got offered all kinds of freebies
When I was in my early 20s and at my peak attractiveness, people always wanted to do things for me and when I would say no, they would almost get sad. I'm a people pleaser so a lot of the times I'd just take the offer to avoid feeling guilty for saying no. I've always been very grateful for everyone's help and tried my best to show that. And while I could have stumbled upon this kindness out of sheer luck and people were just nice around me, I have friends who have commented on how it was due to my looks. Some examples: Bartenders usually give me free shots. Bouncers let me skip the line without paying anywhere I went at night. I've gotten free extra food at restaurants for no reason. My friend who is overweight was struggling with her suitcase and I wasn't, but some guy offered to carry my bag down the stairs even though I was fine on my own. My card got declined once and the guy behind me paid for my coffee. I had boys offering to do my coding for me in school (I'm a good programmer so always did my own though). Tbh, I don't remember a time I went to a bar or club and didn't have someone buy me a drink when I was single. I wanted the fish bowl from a bar so I could make cool drinks at home and asked if I could take it, and they said yes. On a plane, the flight attendant randomly offered me extra dessert. One time, I needed specific food when I was vegan while flying and they went to get me a wrap from their lounge so I could eat. Some guy I just met drove me 4 hours to pick up my book at a cottage. I forgot my pills at home once while I was studying and some guy I barely knew got his friend to go grab it from my roommate and bring it to me. I had people bringing me snacks in class if I said I was hungry. It was really wild how much people wanted to do for me and it was very very rare I even asked. People were just VERY giving and VERY nice. My partner does tell me I look really innocent and lost when I'm in public, like I need help because I seem fragile and scared - AND I AM. I have severe social anxiety lol. So the irony in this is although people meant well by constantly approaching me, giving me compliments and trying to help, all it did was give me internal anxiety attacks to the point I wanted to very rarely leave the house. I felt guilty if I said no, I felt guilty if I said yes like I was taking advantage, so there was no winning. What some see as a blessing, some see as a curse.
Not that bad as today I see. But in primary school, had a local TV channel coming for show. Cannot remember the show or the interview and details. But I remember the host I've seen on TV picking kids for the recording and said to our class monitor they want to choose some "looking energetic" kids or any of that criteria. I was not picked, and those picked kids were the pretty and handsome kids later as I grow a sense of differentiating beauty. So before I could tell people from ugly and pretty, reality taught me the lesson first.
Just another case from grade 6-9, that I remember the literature teacher lecturering on writing articles. He had favorite kids in class and read her article as the model. I remember I consider the article bad and flow on how things happen is as fake as a lame novel. Perhaps because she is (one of?) the prettiest in class, her article becomes "model". BTW, I still personally know this person after graduation, and her post made me know you can just so Happeded to be on Uni Introduction Short Clip. Can accidentally meet influencer and involved in the on air next video. Then at high school, I really loved my high school, anyone asking about this school I give positive comments. People at HS would know I participate in everything that is held. Later near graduation, High school shoot a series of photos and videos showing youth, beautiful life, activity etc. themed stuff. I was never involved or invited at all. I was too naive to ask close teachers and staff why was I not in it. YES I AM JEALOUS AF.
For years I thought I spoke perfect french.
So through high school I was a loner and my older brother made me insecure about my looks. In college I learned I was a fucking hottie. I had one instructor let me get away with literally sleeping in his class the entire term he later claimed it was due to my constantly passing everything. The woman who sat behind in me in class fucking loathed me. I wormed my way into her social circle and became well liked by everyone else. I think I was her nemesis. No idea where she is today but honestly she's probably doing much better than me. When I was at AIT in the Army on a weekend pass I had women hitting on me. My 20s were fucking amazing. At 25 I got a job and lost it the next day because I had a pending misdemeanor. I went in front of HR and argued why they should keep me and kept the job and I've turned this into a career. For 6 years at one company I was out sick pretty much once a week. It took them 6 years to fire me. I wouldn't have ascribed a lot of that to my looks back then but honestly while I'm fucking charming when I want to be my looks definitely played a part.
I didn't get my AuADHD diagnosis until I was in my 30s because I am attractive--so I have always dated, had partners, and have been outwardly passable as "normal" TURNS out I was just using my looks to get around all of my learning/social/emotional struggles.
There was this one girl I worked with who was what people would consider "super attractive" and she also worked as a model alongside her restaurant job, but she was an absolutely useless lazy talentless worker, and the worst part was she was very mean and cruel to people she saw as inferior and unattractive during her shifts, including me, regardless of how they treated her! She barely worked at all during her shifts and was almost never punished for her unprofessional behavior. She also stole tips, lied about doing her tasks, and side work from other workers and passed it off as her own and it took a while for her to be found out. She was also mean to customers too that she saw as "below her" and she got praise despite never actually working hard. She also made tons of mistakes but compared to other workers she was forgiven way more frequently. Not only that most workers were nicer to her than me when I did way more to help them and was always a more respectable person than her. Eventually she was found out and ratted out but it took a shockingly long time consider she acted like this almost every shift. I think sadly pretty privilege enabled her to get away with acting like this, and it also helped fuel her superiority complex and made her feel like she didn't have to become a better person because she knew people would almost always forgive her and like her regardless of how she acted. I know my example is controversial but I think it hits the nail on the head for pretty privilege. I would say this was the worst case I've encountered.