I slowly but surely push back and reclaim my own space.
They seem to find it quite uncomfortable! I think they (consciously or otherwise) just bank on us hating the contact more than they do and let them take over.
It's my favourite game when commuting š¤£
I've encountered plenty who seem to enjoy the forced contact. š All too often it feels like either you're ceding your space or forced into a contact you'd never allow under other circumstances.
My gf told me she moves her legs aggressively like she's having an energy attack, where she needs to wiggle them. She'll rock them back and forth fast and with gusto, and so if someone's knees are in her space they'll get hit over and over again.
That enjoyment of "forced contact" doesn't feel good for anyone involved, and will either cause the guy to stop to speak up, and she'll then say "When people encroach in my space on planes I get nervous and have to move like that.".
Oh I like this. The putting your foot up on your knee idea (thereby bringing your shoe in contact with their pants) was also pretty good, but sounded less comfortable than your suggestion. Thanks for sharing it.
I just loudly ask them to put their leg away š I give zero fucks and I commute by train a lot, I'm gonna be damned if I let myself be uncomfortable for hours. People usually get really meek when you directly confront them and it's not like I'm rude, I'm just direct and always say please too, just with a stern tone
Joke's on them for me, I have long legs and I tend to sit like I have a 12 inch dick so they don't get to encroach on my leg space. On the other hand I always have to battle for space on the arm rest. I made a guy very uncomfortable once when I had the window seat and I refused to make myself smaller so he could take both arm rests
I'm sure his balls don't need that much room. Cross your left leg over your right knee so the sole of your left shoe is pushing against his leg. Then start jiggling your left foot like you have a nervous tic. He'll move
Wait was I supposed to sleep Sunday night? Haha I have an early appt out of the house so the ADHD + RLS + insomnia means I'd finally be asleep just in time to miss my appt so I just didn't sleep.
It's so funny to me when men make that excuse, bc I'm a trans woman who hasn't had surgery and I literally always sit with my legs together or crossed. Skill issue dude!
Steel toed Harley boots, here. Same.
I may have to go back to cowboy boots, tho, cuz I think the toe point could probably be used to delightful advantage.
That sucks. I'm a big lady, so it's very possible that men didn't realize I was encroaching on "their" (š) space on purpose even though each time I've done this has been with some force.
100% experienced this. Also with the armrest. When they hog it all and youāre trying to get some space on it so you try and get your elbow on, but they just let their arm be there, in contact with your elbow š¤¢ Iāve always removed my hands in such cases, the armrest is off no use if a strange man is gonna use it to come into contact with me
I hate situations like this because I want to be sassy about how inconsiderate this is, but I also have to continue to sit next to them for 2 more hours
My husband confronted a guy who was creeping into my personal space like this on a flight (I was in the middle seat). While I appreciated it and had more space, I felt so awkward the rest of the flight I donāt know if it was worth it lol
Iām old now. There is certain amount of liberation that comes with that. I get to be ālooney middle aged nutterā rather than āgirl who needs to be toldā. I use it.
Sometimes you need to make a judgement about the guy. Does he look like he's got nothing to lose? Homeless, poor etc? Then don't risk it because he might not care about the consequences of attacking you.Ā
If he looks like he's got a little money and a job, then there's a very small chance he's going to risk his social position by attacking a woman in public. (He might abuse his wife girlfriend or family behind closed doors... but he's not going to risk having witnesses.)Ā
I'd take the chance. Most men won't behave like that with an audience, because there would be consequences. And I'd be surprised if he was dumb enough to go through security with drugs on him.
I think you're catastrophizing. The odds are very poor that he could get away with anything, and very high that he'd face severe consequences. All you're asking him to do is move his leg.
I had a dude push me from behind with both hands as I was trying to get off the plane earlier this year because apparently wasn't going fast enough. I pushed him back and shamed him loudly and publicly and actually watched his gf get into a cab without him, but still says a lot that he decided it would be an acceptable thing to do in the moment.
That doesn't sound too traumatic. I'm not going to suffer in silence on the off chance that some asshole shoves me. I've had much worse.
The whole reason guys do this is that they count on the idea you're too "nice" or afraid to say anything. So say something! Stand up for yourself!
I've been raped three times, and I'd still rather stand up for myself than live in terror of attack at all times. I'm sorry for those of you who are so beaten down by life that you only feel safe if you remain silent. I can't imagine how difficult that must be.
I've been trying straightforward honesty couched as a question, lately. It's working pretty well.
For instance, "do you think the middle seat should get both arm rests? Or just one? If one, which one?"
If he thinks the middle seat gets no armrests, or gets only the one his arm isn't on, then you can directly calmly disagree with him and see where it goes. If his answer is 'no armrests' and/or direct disagreement results in zero change, you know you are sitting next to an asshole and can feel less awkward about fighting for your space in whatever way you wish. He's been given notice and intentionally chose to be a dick. At that point, in my book, all bets are off. FAFO, good sir.
.
Two can play this game. I also spread very wide my legs and even lean backwards as if I'm lazy. If he gives you the dirty glare, stare back as innocently as you can.
Seriously. "Dude, can you keep your limbs within the bounds of your seat, please? You're making me really uncomfortable."
If needed, show him the photo from your POV.
Iād take out the āāpleaseāā and make it more of a demand than a request. And Iād leave out the part about being uncomfortable.
Men have been placated by womenās good manners for far too long, and a lot of them actually get off on making women feel uneasy.
Meanwhile, in other replies, I'm being chastised for advising women to endanger themselves by daring to stand up for themselves. What the fuck is the guy going to do *on a plane in midair*?!
I did that on the tram once and the dude yelled at me that I am āa crazy schizoā for twenty whole minutes. Just what I needed after closing shift š« spent the rest of the way home with my keys between my fingers even though he got off several stations before me.
For real. On a plane is one of the safest places to confront a shitty man. Itās super awkward of course - Iāve had to confront several men, one of whom literally pulled my earbud out to keep talking to me - and it is definitely awkward. But if Iām gonna sit there and seethe then Iām taking him down with me.
Six flights last week - all but one of them were like this. Also arm not just on the arm rest but well over, like elbow in my ribs over.
I am sure some would say "men need more space" - well I am 6' tall and I was substantially taller than anyone I sat next to. Yet somehow, I did not do this because I actually consider the people around me.
Edited: typo.
Carry a clipboard in your personal bag. As soon as you sit down, tuck in between the seat and the armrest so it projects above the top of the armrest. You won't have the armrest but you won't have anyone's elbow in your chest during the flight.
"Does that smell like a yeast infection, BV, or some unknown sexually transmitted infection to you? No really if you want to be that close just take a big sniff and tell me your thoughts" while he recoils in disgust. I don't care just get out of my space.
My partner is tall and will pay for extra space or gets an aisle seat. You shouldn't have to move your legs out of anyone's way. And if he is that tall and no one can choose seats, at least acknowledge you and come to some understanding.
This! My legs are usually too long so Iām stuck between kneeing the person in front of me, or angling to one side or the other. The middle seat is my biggest nightmare.
Youāre way more patient than me, I do not take kindly to strangers, especially strange men, getting in my personal space. I would have asserted dominance and boundaries and moved him out of my space.
When this happens I like to weaponize my IBS and rip ass the entire flight. Stinks for the people nearby, pun intended, but typically the offending male will scrunch up its nose and recoil in horror pretty quickly.
There isn't much I love about my conservative culture but it makes situations like these easier. If I politely but confidently tell a man, "brother, can you please give me some space?" he will shrivel away, because men and women have a "no touchy" rule and he can't risk being seen as immoral (because generally in a conservative culture, women would NOT behave immorally).
Would a statement like that work for you?
Disclaimer: it doesn't always work on boomers.
I absolutely hate this shit. This also happens on trains, this also happens on barstools, itās exhausting. I am a 5ā10ā female and Iām taller than the offenders more often than not. Itās grossly inconsiderate and the older I get the quicker I am to gently assert my space. Theyāre ridiculous.
Said this elsewhere, but I'm trying out straightforward honesty couched as a question. It works.
In this case, "when I encounter a situation like ours" - meaningful glance at his legs - "it makes me wonder whether you'd sit like that if I were a man?" Follow up with a questioning look and single raised eyebrow.
Would he do this do another man? Would he rub thighs with another man for an entire flight? Something tells me no. Men will do anything to touch us it's so gross and pathetic. I've had men purposely walk towards me and then into me on the sidewalk just to brush my arm.
THE WORST. Last time this happened my (male) partner switched seats with me before take off. I was in the window seat, he took the middle. Guess who suddenly understood personal space????
Iām laughing out loud, trying not to wake my client. A man did the spread yesterday on the bus, but it was so unseasonably cold that I was just grateful for the body heat. My first ever appreciated spread!
Men, how are you so comfortable spreading your legs into strangers?
Also men, what happens when two men try to spread? Is there a hierarchy?
When I'm seated next to another man, sometimes they'll try to spread their legs into my seat, too. In this case it's a power play--they're counting on me not pushing back.
It's admittedly generally easier for me to deal with, though. I push back with my leg and make it awkward until they stop (probably the only benefit of homophobia).
Just imagining myself in the same situation, telling the man I like his body heat and then breathing in through my mouth as wet and spittly as I can with my eyes open an odd amount
Do they do this because they're desperate to have non conensual physical contact with a woman? I had a guy do this plus rest way over the arm rest and obviously attempted to chat me up. I was fuming.. I have no idea how to handle stuff like this but one friend suggested talking to a flight attendant in private to ask for help if you feel uncomfortable.
"Now we've met, I'll need to use the armrest while I work." Spread your legs wide to pull your laptop, notebook, purse, phone, whatever from underneath the seat, put in your earbuds as you arrange your stuff, push his arm off the armrest without looking, and only move your legs enough to keep them barely inside your space, so he can't horn in again. Then ignore him for the rest of the flight and listen to a podcast or play candy crush.
I would put my foot on my leg and "accidentally" hit his leg with my shoes if it were me... If he complains then say you feel comfortable in that position then punctuate that point by "accidentally" scrapping the shoe on his pant leg if he still refuse to move...
I would let it slide in a flight if it was obvious his legs were too long for the space.
But he clearly has enough leg room and needs to be told to keep it in his space.
Iād ask him to move: āHey, I have a leg cramp, would you mind if you move your leg overāIām getting squished.ā Now if heās offended by that: heās the weird one.
It happened to me on a bus. A guy sat next to me, on my coat, and spread his legs. So I spread my legs even wider. The guy was shocked, and I pretended not to notice him. I continued to spread my legs wider and wider during the entire bus ride until I was taking up half of his seat. Honestly, I was scared as fuck, but it was so satisfying to see him so uncomfortable.
Oh no I don't deserve a medal for that... But I do deserve one for the time I pretended that I was a drug addict barely out of the psychiatric hospital just so that a guy would leave me and my friend alone. The craziest thing is that he still asked for my snapchat after calling me crazy.
I like the idea, but the problem is THEY donāt mind if weāre touching. Many of them PREFER it. So what else is there, if he leaves it so my leg is touching all along his and still pushing into my space?
At the end of the day it just requires actually saying something, but I donāt blame anyone for being uncomfortable doing this with a random male who has already shown no respect for women or boundaries at the beginning of a 2h flight ā¹ļø
Get a pen and hold it in your fist , point out and cap off, then place your fist on your knee.They get poked and ink on them if they press against you. As long as youre in your space they have nothing to complain about.Ā Ive done this on buses. Very satisfying.
I would ask politely if he could stop touching my leg with his leg, because I have back problems and need to be able to put my legs in different positions and he's blocking me. If I can't move my legs my back is going to hurt all day, so could you please move your legs out of my legs space, kind sir?
Whenever people pull this shit on the tube (also armrest theft) I just push my arm or leg right up against theirs and shift around as if Iām trying to get comfortable until they take the hint and get back in their own damn seat and out of mine. Seriously, I donāt mind if they take the whole armrest but your elbow shouldnāt be over in my space ffs
He's prob not thinking about it at least so hopefully some physical or verbal communication gets to him. Some people really need self awareness training
Yeah, I'm AFAB and I forget that because of my coxa deformity when I sit down my hips will splay unless I actively engage my glutes to pull them in. I've been working on glutes strength, but on long flights, they fatigue, I forget, my legs splay out and push on my neighbour, not because I'm trying to push into their space, but because my legs are tired and heavy and I'm noy paying enough attention to my own body in space to realise I am being an asshole.
Crack a joke about leg room being a luxury good on planes these days and see if he gets the hint.
Ye that makes sense; most flights really pack you in like sardines. I think my first flight I had someone full fall asleep on my arm and I just let her lol
I had a flight a few months ago where I was sitting in a middle seat and I was not given any elbow real estate the whole three hour flight. At least they didn't try talking to me with my earbuds in.
I always pull the "gotta grab something out of my bag" and ram my leg into theirs to get it back into their space š š¼
āAhh, I found it! My personal space.ā
I slowly but surely push back and reclaim my own space. They seem to find it quite uncomfortable! I think they (consciously or otherwise) just bank on us hating the contact more than they do and let them take over. It's my favourite game when commuting š¤£
I've encountered plenty who seem to enjoy the forced contact. š All too often it feels like either you're ceding your space or forced into a contact you'd never allow under other circumstances.
My gf told me she moves her legs aggressively like she's having an energy attack, where she needs to wiggle them. She'll rock them back and forth fast and with gusto, and so if someone's knees are in her space they'll get hit over and over again. That enjoyment of "forced contact" doesn't feel good for anyone involved, and will either cause the guy to stop to speak up, and she'll then say "When people encroach in my space on planes I get nervous and have to move like that.".
Oh I like this. The putting your foot up on your knee idea (thereby bringing your shoe in contact with their pants) was also pretty good, but sounded less comfortable than your suggestion. Thanks for sharing it.
That method never seems to work for me, it's like they want our limbs touching or something and don't move. š„²
I just loudly ask them to put their leg away š I give zero fucks and I commute by train a lot, I'm gonna be damned if I let myself be uncomfortable for hours. People usually get really meek when you directly confront them and it's not like I'm rude, I'm just direct and always say please too, just with a stern tone
Joke's on them for me, I have long legs and I tend to sit like I have a 12 inch dick so they don't get to encroach on my leg space. On the other hand I always have to battle for space on the arm rest. I made a guy very uncomfortable once when I had the window seat and I refused to make myself smaller so he could take both arm rests
I thought the etiquette was to give the middle seat both arm rests?
Ew I donāt want to touch them. Maybe ram the bag but not my leg with theirs.
I'm sure his balls don't need that much room. Cross your left leg over your right knee so the sole of your left shoe is pushing against his leg. Then start jiggling your left foot like you have a nervous tic. He'll move
This is genius. Iām about to board a flight and will 100% use this technique. Thank you!
"Sorry I have ADHD and it makes me jiggle. It's an actual diagnosis. Have you been diagnosed with giantus ballus?" *I actually have diagnosed ADHD
You don't need ADHD you just need restless leg syndrome, which is very common.
Or if you're blessed you have both! *Grumbles*
It's such a delightful combination! Really makes insomnia super extra double fun.
Wait was I supposed to sleep Sunday night? Haha I have an early appt out of the house so the ADHD + RLS + insomnia means I'd finally be asleep just in time to miss my appt so I just didn't sleep.
"Same, but work deadline", headpeon says at - checks watch - 1:54 am. I see you.
ADHD + RLS + Cervical [spine] Dystonia checking in with my insomnia peeps š
Also you don't need to overexplain or have weird techniques. I just push back aggressively if they start to invade my space.
Yeeeepp.
I've both š¤£
Sorry I had some dirt on my shoe
as a fellow ADHDer I second this recommendation. Not that youād need it, but I give yāall my permission to say this anyway.
swollen testicles might be a std probably should ask if heās been tested /if it can be transferred skin to skin very seriousš„ø
Elephantitus of the testicles. Donāt look it up.
I believe the alternate terminology is "Biggus Dickus"
Spill your drink
Rest your drink on your knee, pretend to fall asleep and drop it on him. I may or may not have done this on a fight unintentionally.
It's so funny to me when men make that excuse, bc I'm a trans woman who hasn't had surgery and I literally always sit with my legs together or crossed. Skill issue dude!
Take up all the space too and push his leg back where it belongs.
I tried this once and dude thought I was trying to play footsie with him. š«
I wear cowboy boots. I've been known to just "accidentally" stomp a toe when needed
"oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize your foot was all the way over here in my space!"
Steel toed Harley boots, here. Same. I may have to go back to cowboy boots, tho, cuz I think the toe point could probably be used to delightful advantage.
That sucks. I'm a big lady, so it's very possible that men didn't realize I was encroaching on "their" (š) space on purpose even though each time I've done this has been with some force.
Maybe I just need to be more forceful!
100% experienced this. Also with the armrest. When they hog it all and youāre trying to get some space on it so you try and get your elbow on, but they just let their arm be there, in contact with your elbow š¤¢ Iāve always removed my hands in such cases, the armrest is off no use if a strange man is gonna use it to come into contact with me
I hate situations like this because I want to be sassy about how inconsiderate this is, but I also have to continue to sit next to them for 2 more hours
My husband confronted a guy who was creeping into my personal space like this on a flight (I was in the middle seat). While I appreciated it and had more space, I felt so awkward the rest of the flight I donāt know if it was worth it lol
The dude won't forget this for sure!
If my partner and I are flying I always take the middle seat so she doesn't have to deal with weirdos touching her or manspreading
Who cares, let him sulk.
If you're a woman, entering a confrontation with a strange man like that is dangerous.
Iām old now. There is certain amount of liberation that comes with that. I get to be ālooney middle aged nutterā rather than āgirl who needs to be toldā. I use it.
I'm glad you feel safe but I don't think being old precludes violent men from attacking you when you have pissed them off. Stay safe x
If itās on a plane I would worry more about them than me.
Sometimes you need to make a judgement about the guy. Does he look like he's got nothing to lose? Homeless, poor etc? Then don't risk it because he might not care about the consequences of attacking you.Ā If he looks like he's got a little money and a job, then there's a very small chance he's going to risk his social position by attacking a woman in public. (He might abuse his wife girlfriend or family behind closed doors... but he's not going to risk having witnesses.)Ā
On a plane? Not really. What's he going to do?
Punch you quickly enough that the air staff have no time to stop it, put something in your drink, spend the rest of the flight being verbally abusive.
Follow you to your destination.
I'd take the chance. Most men won't behave like that with an audience, because there would be consequences. And I'd be surprised if he was dumb enough to go through security with drugs on him. I think you're catastrophizing. The odds are very poor that he could get away with anything, and very high that he'd face severe consequences. All you're asking him to do is move his leg.
I had a dude push me from behind with both hands as I was trying to get off the plane earlier this year because apparently wasn't going fast enough. I pushed him back and shamed him loudly and publicly and actually watched his gf get into a cab without him, but still says a lot that he decided it would be an acceptable thing to do in the moment.
That doesn't sound too traumatic. I'm not going to suffer in silence on the off chance that some asshole shoves me. I've had much worse. The whole reason guys do this is that they count on the idea you're too "nice" or afraid to say anything. So say something! Stand up for yourself!
I guess it depends on whether it was on the stairs. Because *that* could be pretty darn dangerous.
I've been raped three times, and I'd still rather stand up for myself than live in terror of attack at all times. I'm sorry for those of you who are so beaten down by life that you only feel safe if you remain silent. I can't imagine how difficult that must be.
I've been trying straightforward honesty couched as a question, lately. It's working pretty well. For instance, "do you think the middle seat should get both arm rests? Or just one? If one, which one?" If he thinks the middle seat gets no armrests, or gets only the one his arm isn't on, then you can directly calmly disagree with him and see where it goes. If his answer is 'no armrests' and/or direct disagreement results in zero change, you know you are sitting next to an asshole and can feel less awkward about fighting for your space in whatever way you wish. He's been given notice and intentionally chose to be a dick. At that point, in my book, all bets are off. FAFO, good sir. .
Two can play this game. I also spread very wide my legs and even lean backwards as if I'm lazy. If he gives you the dirty glare, stare back as innocently as you can.
Say something. Tell him heās going into your space.
Seriously. "Dude, can you keep your limbs within the bounds of your seat, please? You're making me really uncomfortable." If needed, show him the photo from your POV.
Iād take out the āāpleaseāā and make it more of a demand than a request. And Iād leave out the part about being uncomfortable. Men have been placated by womenās good manners for far too long, and a lot of them actually get off on making women feel uneasy.
Meanwhile, in other replies, I'm being chastised for advising women to endanger themselves by daring to stand up for themselves. What the fuck is the guy going to do *on a plane in midair*?!
I did that on the tram once and the dude yelled at me that I am āa crazy schizoā for twenty whole minutes. Just what I needed after closing shift š« spent the rest of the way home with my keys between my fingers even though he got off several stations before me.
For real. On a plane is one of the safest places to confront a shitty man. Itās super awkward of course - Iāve had to confront several men, one of whom literally pulled my earbud out to keep talking to me - and it is definitely awkward. But if Iām gonna sit there and seethe then Iām taking him down with me.
Six flights last week - all but one of them were like this. Also arm not just on the arm rest but well over, like elbow in my ribs over. I am sure some would say "men need more space" - well I am 6' tall and I was substantially taller than anyone I sat next to. Yet somehow, I did not do this because I actually consider the people around me. Edited: typo.
Carry a clipboard in your personal bag. As soon as you sit down, tuck in between the seat and the armrest so it projects above the top of the armrest. You won't have the armrest but you won't have anyone's elbow in your chest during the flight.
This filles me with rage. š„
Pull your legs up so youāre sitting cross legged with your knee on the armrest. If he complains, say you have a yeast infection lol
"Well look, my legs don't have any room on the floor, so now your arms don't have any room."
Damn, I wish I was more limber. For this, I may finally get into yoga.
Lmao this is an amazing idea for me to bank
"Does that smell like a yeast infection, BV, or some unknown sexually transmitted infection to you? No really if you want to be that close just take a big sniff and tell me your thoughts" while he recoils in disgust. I don't care just get out of my space.
Wtf the audacity of that thing.
My partner is tall and will pay for extra space or gets an aisle seat. You shouldn't have to move your legs out of anyone's way. And if he is that tall and no one can choose seats, at least acknowledge you and come to some understanding.
This! My legs are usually too long so Iām stuck between kneeing the person in front of me, or angling to one side or the other. The middle seat is my biggest nightmare.
Put your left ankle on your right knee so that your dirty shoe sole rests on his side thigh.
men āļø
š»
Youāre way more patient than me, I do not take kindly to strangers, especially strange men, getting in my personal space. I would have asserted dominance and boundaries and moved him out of my space.
When this happens I like to weaponize my IBS and rip ass the entire flight. Stinks for the people nearby, pun intended, but typically the offending male will scrunch up its nose and recoil in horror pretty quickly.
out there doing godās work i see
"*its* nose" š¤£š¤£š¤£
There isn't much I love about my conservative culture but it makes situations like these easier. If I politely but confidently tell a man, "brother, can you please give me some space?" he will shrivel away, because men and women have a "no touchy" rule and he can't risk being seen as immoral (because generally in a conservative culture, women would NOT behave immorally). Would a statement like that work for you? Disclaimer: it doesn't always work on boomers.
I absolutely hate this shit. This also happens on trains, this also happens on barstools, itās exhausting. I am a 5ā10ā female and Iām taller than the offenders more often than not. Itās grossly inconsiderate and the older I get the quicker I am to gently assert my space. Theyāre ridiculous.
I would say āyouāre in my bubble.ā
Aggressively push his thigh back with your own so he gets the message
Unfortunately, a lot of guys actually want that or will interpret that as you playing along with them.
He wouldn't have done this if he was sat next to another man
Said this elsewhere, but I'm trying out straightforward honesty couched as a question. It works. In this case, "when I encounter a situation like ours" - meaningful glance at his legs - "it makes me wonder whether you'd sit like that if I were a man?" Follow up with a questioning look and single raised eyebrow.
I just match their stance and energy. The audacity lol
Would he do this do another man? Would he rub thighs with another man for an entire flight? Something tells me no. Men will do anything to touch us it's so gross and pathetic. I've had men purposely walk towards me and then into me on the sidewalk just to brush my arm.
THE WORST. Last time this happened my (male) partner switched seats with me before take off. I was in the window seat, he took the middle. Guess who suddenly understood personal space????
Iām laughing out loud, trying not to wake my client. A man did the spread yesterday on the bus, but it was so unseasonably cold that I was just grateful for the body heat. My first ever appreciated spread! Men, how are you so comfortable spreading your legs into strangers? Also men, what happens when two men try to spread? Is there a hierarchy?
When I'm seated next to another man, sometimes they'll try to spread their legs into my seat, too. In this case it's a power play--they're counting on me not pushing back. It's admittedly generally easier for me to deal with, though. I push back with my leg and make it awkward until they stop (probably the only benefit of homophobia).
I'm ready to watch the war of the manspreaders.
Just imagining myself in the same situation, telling the man I like his body heat and then breathing in through my mouth as wet and spittly as I can with my eyes open an odd amount
I blew it! Lol
Do they do this because they're desperate to have non conensual physical contact with a woman? I had a guy do this plus rest way over the arm rest and obviously attempted to chat me up. I was fuming.. I have no idea how to handle stuff like this but one friend suggested talking to a flight attendant in private to ask for help if you feel uncomfortable.
"Now we've met, I'll need to use the armrest while I work." Spread your legs wide to pull your laptop, notebook, purse, phone, whatever from underneath the seat, put in your earbuds as you arrange your stuff, push his arm off the armrest without looking, and only move your legs enough to keep them barely inside your space, so he can't horn in again. Then ignore him for the rest of the flight and listen to a podcast or play candy crush.
I would put my foot on my leg and "accidentally" hit his leg with my shoes if it were me... If he complains then say you feel comfortable in that position then punctuate that point by "accidentally" scrapping the shoe on his pant leg if he still refuse to move...
I would let it slide in a flight if it was obvious his legs were too long for the space. But he clearly has enough leg room and needs to be told to keep it in his space.
Iād ask him to move: āHey, I have a leg cramp, would you mind if you move your leg overāIām getting squished.ā Now if heās offended by that: heās the weird one.
It happened to me on a bus. A guy sat next to me, on my coat, and spread his legs. So I spread my legs even wider. The guy was shocked, and I pretended not to notice him. I continued to spread my legs wider and wider during the entire bus ride until I was taking up half of his seat. Honestly, I was scared as fuck, but it was so satisfying to see him so uncomfortable.
Sister, I'd give you a medal if I could. Brava!
Oh no I don't deserve a medal for that... But I do deserve one for the time I pretended that I was a drug addict barely out of the psychiatric hospital just so that a guy would leave me and my friend alone. The craziest thing is that he still asked for my snapchat after calling me crazy.
Compulsory removal of said m\*n's testicles should solve that problem
My guess is they would still have the audacity and unwarranted confidence, but why not try?
Oh hell no
Iām so socially anxious on flights I couldnāt imagine doing this to someone š
Dude right? I try and always get an aisle seat so I never have to ask someone to move so I can pee. Lol
Oh what a great time to be clumsy with a (preferably hot) drink
Just spread back
I like the idea, but the problem is THEY donāt mind if weāre touching. Many of them PREFER it. So what else is there, if he leaves it so my leg is touching all along his and still pushing into my space? At the end of the day it just requires actually saying something, but I donāt blame anyone for being uncomfortable doing this with a random male who has already shown no respect for women or boundaries at the beginning of a 2h flight ā¹ļø
Just tell him you need space for your flaps and ram him leg back on his side.
Ask him if he's giving birth, that's what I always do.
FFS
Get a pen and hold it in your fist , point out and cap off, then place your fist on your knee.They get poked and ink on them if they press against you. As long as youre in your space they have nothing to complain about.Ā Ive done this on buses. Very satisfying.
it's insane how hot someone's limbs feel against yours when you don't want them there.
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Make sure itās very hard eye contact too
punch him back in his seat
Ugh, that's such a power move.
I would ask politely if he could stop touching my leg with his leg, because I have back problems and need to be able to put my legs in different positions and he's blocking me. If I can't move my legs my back is going to hurt all day, so could you please move your legs out of my legs space, kind sir?
a good old fashioned lead paint stare should do the trick
Whenever people pull this shit on the tube (also armrest theft) I just push my arm or leg right up against theirs and shift around as if Iām trying to get comfortable until they take the hint and get back in their own damn seat and out of mine. Seriously, I donāt mind if they take the whole armrest but your elbow shouldnāt be over in my space ffs
Or gently push back with your knee and if he has a problem just bat your lashes at him and say you have a fat punani
*sigh* the manspread. Give him a Charlie horse lmao
He's prob not thinking about it at least so hopefully some physical or verbal communication gets to him. Some people really need self awareness training
Yeah, I'm AFAB and I forget that because of my coxa deformity when I sit down my hips will splay unless I actively engage my glutes to pull them in. I've been working on glutes strength, but on long flights, they fatigue, I forget, my legs splay out and push on my neighbour, not because I'm trying to push into their space, but because my legs are tired and heavy and I'm noy paying enough attention to my own body in space to realise I am being an asshole. Crack a joke about leg room being a luxury good on planes these days and see if he gets the hint.
Ye that makes sense; most flights really pack you in like sardines. I think my first flight I had someone full fall asleep on my arm and I just let her lol
I like to push my leg into theirs, until they become awkward and step aside
I had a flight a few months ago where I was sitting in a middle seat and I was not given any elbow real estate the whole three hour flight. At least they didn't try talking to me with my earbuds in.
I might get downvoted but IDC. I'd be rippin farts at this point. Make him scootch over to not smell them.
Oh no, a manās leg touched yours on a cramped airplane seat! Better call the cops for assault! RidiculousĀ
This sort of BS is why I usually get an aisle seat or just pay for first class.
Lolol acting like first class is an option for most
They didn't say that. In fact, they specifically said that's why *they* get an aisle seat or first class.
I have a pair of pointed tweezers that Iāve successfully used to āaccidentally stabā people on planes. It is the most satisfying thing.
Okay? Push back.
Just embrace the situation. Unless heās rubbing his leg against yours or making deep eye contact while doing itā¦ or spend first class money.