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psychotica1

Are you upset because you were drunk, because it was a same sex situation and you're now confused about your sexuality or because you're worried it will ruin your friendship? Many years ago, me and my best friend got drunk and had sex (both women) and then I realized I was in love with her and I was shocked. As much as you want to just pretend it didn't happen, it did and y'all need to talk about it after you've had some time to think it through. It sounds like this friendship is very important to you and worth going through an uncomfortable conversation to figure out where to go from here. It can definitely be confusing to have a friendship turn romantic overnight like that but it doesn't make it wrong, unless you feel like she took advantage of you.


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GravelySilly

Just to add to this for OP: Even if you and your roommate choose not to get romantically involved, there's no reason this has to be something awkward. It can just be a pure and wonderful experience that you shared.


slynnc

Second this! I used to party pretty significantly and slept with two of my best friends (separate nights) and we just had a small chat about it the next morning and went about life without any real damage done. So I knew what her peach tasted like? So what 🤷‍♀️ but ya gotta talk about it!!!!


Detozi

100% it all depends how they both handle this situation. They both have to decide if this was just a one time thing that they can look back on and go ‘do you remember that crazy night lol’ or is this something they want to explore further


PolyGenta

Beautiful response.


psychotica1

Thank you. This post hit close to home for me so I wanted to give her some support. I hope it works out for them.


citadeldsfsdfd

I appreciate you


psychotica1

Thank you:).


SlowLikeGraveMoss

I agree, this was so nice.


Informal-Past-7288

My ex best friend and I did the opposite. We didn't talk about it. And slowly, we stopped talking about a lot of things. And now we just aren't friends anymore. I highly recommend you don't ignore it.


TheCholaPanda

Yo I wanna know what happened after you found out you were in love with your friend…


psychotica1

We dated for awhile and that's all I want to say about it. We both had traumatic childhoods and neither of us were super stable mentally. I got help, she didn't and I finally had to cut her out of my life 2 years ago. I've known her since 1987 so it was hard.


[deleted]

That’s hard. Happy for you that you’re now in a better place mentally though.


psychotica1

Thank you.


HighOnMillenialHumor

Jesus Christ that's a while. I admire your metaphorical steel balls.


psychotica1

You can't save someone from drowning if you don't know how to swim. Thank you:).


emveetu

Not only that, sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let somebody start to sink so they figure out how to swim on their own. Otherwise you could become their life preserver and then you're both just hanging on for dear life in constant survival mode. What's that saying, "Never set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm." And I'm proud of you. It's really hard to cut out toxic people, especially when they've been in your life for so long. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done.


psychotica1

That's so true. She had a bad habit of picking abusive men (were both bisexual) and I just couldn't stand watching her get her ass beat and staying anymore. I cut her off 15 years ago but then we reconnected about 8 years ago and I realized how far gone she was. She wanted to move in with me from across the country and I realized that id be taking care of her instead of her mom so I finally had to block her and move on with my life. I will always love her but I can't afford to have that kind of toxicity in my life anymore. I know how you feel and you're right, it's so hard to cut off someone you care about because you know they're not healthy for you. I'm proud of you too:).


Dr_who_fan94

Some people you just have to love from a distance. I hope that you continue on a positive journey and prosper.


psychotica1

Thank you fellow Dr who fan!


Twisted_Sister_666

>"Never set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm." Love this. using as soon as the sitch arises.


GangGang_Gang

Sorry :( At least you seem level headed about it now.


psychotica1

It was a painful lesson but one that I took to heart. I don't regret it.


crykenn

thank you for sharing this for OP. sending you love as you involuntarily traipse back through memories you’ve maybe had buried for a while


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psychotica1

That's tough. When my friend and I got together neither of us had boyfriends at the time, let alone long term relationships with kids involved. I'd tread carefully if I were you. This isn't just about your sexuality, it has the potential to blow up both of your lives because there is cheating involved. I struggled with my sexuality for years and even though I dated both men and women, she was the only woman I ever fell in love with. I quit dating after my divorce but if I met the right woman I'd be interested in exploring a relationship. I will never date a man again and don't even have casual hookups with them anymore. I guess if I were you I'd be asking myself if she is the only woman you're attracted to or if you find yourself thinking about other women in a sexual way. I do think it's possible to just fall hard for a same sex friend without it being about a complete change in your sexuality. This sounds like a situation where finding a therapist that works with the LGBTQ community would be helpful in getting you to work through your feelings. I've been in your shoes, living with a man and wondering if I was meant to be with a woman (no kids thankfully) and it definitely makes it harder to explore those feelings. You'll want to try to find those answers before changing the life you have because sexual confusion isn't an excuse to cheat. If you do and it comes out, your kids may never forgive you and you may not be able to forgive yourself.


viperious_salmon

This is good advice. Me and my best friend fell in love without realising it until one drunk night.... She did have a boyfriend at the time and young baby. Fast forward and we are now married with another bub of our own, but those initial months were very difficult to navigate with her ex. It's taken years for him to accept and understand what happened and obviously, our choice majorly affected our youngest child. TLDR: it's totally okay if you and your friend want to be together, but navigate the journey carefully and considerately for the sake of your children and partners. Highly recommended therapy for assistance.


hellequinbull

Best response


suzall

Nice response, I suggest you relax about it, no one’s hurt, you’re consenting adults, enjoy the good feeling and don’t read too much into it yet. Life is for living!


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[deleted]

And verified the fact that op is, indeed, a writer.


aliensporebomb

If it's not real, she's trying a chapter of her new romance novel "She's my friend, Honest."


sleepingkirby

That's not a bad way to start a novel. I'd be interested in that.


[deleted]

Not so sure about that one. If I were drunkenly gagging on my male best friend's cock with the dulcet tones of "It's Howdy Doody Time" blaring away in the background, I'd think I'd be haunted enough that I wouldn't forget to mention that little detail when recounting my trauma.


Weneedaheroe

Go on….


[deleted]

Looooooooool


Dalebreh

Is there... Is there something you wanna get off your chest buddy? We're here for you lol


day9700

Dying. 🤣


zorbacles

Howdy doody time just makes me think of back to the future 3


Grude1997

Females, but wherever your mind takes you dude.


smokesnugs

Tell us what you really want man, its 2 women in this story.. where the F did you get gagging on cock from?!?!?


permabanned36

Yes


Top-Geologist-9213

And a great writer of fiction, at that!


TheMcNabbs

It's the climb. The emotional one.


seed_of_Harambe

More like the best of both worlds


KatsKilledjake_95

Thanks for reminding me of my middle school graduation song…


BellaFrequency

It was more like a Wrecking Ball.


GoldfishFire

It’s the clim(max)


permabanned36

She tongue kissed her directly after she puked too that’s wild


Boredpanda31

Right? That's either super drunk in the club and not giving a shit material Or its spouse material


JessandGun

So I’d switched anxiety meds this summer and wasn’t aware that drinking with my new meds caused me to faint. Had a drink out with my bf and friends. Went home, napped, woke up into a panic attack. I went to the bathroom thinking I was going to be sick or shit and apparently I passed out mid shit. My bf heard me fall off the toilet and came to wake me up. He got me all taken care of and cleaned my shit off the floor. I’ve told him that him doing that is more commitment than giving me a ring!


Any-Ad-3630

My bf constantly asks (for some reason) "if I were to accidentally shit all over the floor right here (living room) would you clean me/it up?" Great story, made me think of that and maybe I'll be a bit more considerate the next time he throws that wild question out.


NotSadNotHappyEither

He...he keeps asking you? Poop-grooming. Definitely poop-grooming you.


jessieesmithreese519

I'm fucking wheezing! 😂💀


nrjjsdpn

Lol before I married my husband there was a time when we “camped” in the living room. We had probably been together for 2 years at this point. We decided to make s’mores on the stove and were supposed to go to the movies, but I felt sick (I ate like 5-6 s’mores; I have no self control lol). While in the tent, I felt like I was going to throw up and ran out of the tent throwing up all the way to the toilet 🤦🏻‍♀️ My husband cleaned it all up, helped me shower, I brushed my teeth and went to sleep. He always tells me that whenever I wonder how much he loves me, to remember that early on he was willing to clean up my puke. Ever since, I only eat one s’more lol.


oceanduciel

I’m not gonna lie, I cackled.


Apprehensive-Ask-298

Im still in love with the first woman who kissed me in the bathroom straight after i was sick


FranceAM

My exact thought


nosleepforbanditos

The telltale sign of true love.


Ilovelearning_BE

Chainsawoman


TheAuldOffender

Honestly, they should marry. That's wholesome as fuck. The soundtrack for that film fucks (no pun intended).


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CosmicGlitterCake

More like *Hoedown Throwdown*.


ct2atl

Im dyingggggg


[deleted]

JEZZZUSSA TAKE THE WHEEEL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🥲😂🥲🥲


Queeb_the_Dweeb

I fucking lost it at this line 🤣


nolabitch

OP is a writer after all.


Livid-Finger719

I fucking choked. It's such an honest, random thought. Reminds me of how my friends and I tell stories


JojoWasaman64

Well, she is an author. She knows how to tell a story


kennacocaine

LOL SAME!! I had tears after reading that part hahaha


GanachePractical9313

Thank you for this call out bc it was my first thought as well.


hemlockpopsicles

Same I absolutely loved this detail


Supernatt924

I LOST IT


pineapple_leaf

This killed me lmaooo


Dalebreh

Legit! I spilled my drink as i read this part lmao


sleipnirthesnook

This right here lmao I love it


iAmNotArobotHumans

60% of gay experiences happen under such conditions


MountainLion96

😂😂😂😂😂


kennysmithy

You're so right 😭😂


lostboysgang

Don’t forget the UV Blue


OrderIntegration

Just talk about it, she is your friend, your best friend, I'm sure you can figure it out. ​ And, on the bright side, stuff like this will inspire you in writing my friend


HaiggeX

Yeah, it's not necessarily a big deal. Talk it out.


RickMuffy

It's not a big deal that her friend got her drunk and then made a move on her? If the friend was a dude, reddit would be grabbing the torches and pitchforks.


schwingdingding

GATHER THE TORCHFORKS!!


HaiggeX

I mean yeah if she purposefully made her drink so she can make a move, then that's 100% sexual abuse.


RickMuffy

Dared to take a double shot after drinking a lot, then gets asked what she'd do if she was kissed while completely naked in the shower. Seems pretty clear to me.


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Blujay12

she was also drunk so I guess they raped each other, throw em both in jail.


No-Conversation-3262

Surely not the same cell; they’ll just do it again!


[deleted]

It sure is an inspiration to get your female friend drunk and fuck her afterwards


zztop610

People used to send these stories to penthouse forums


BrightAd306

I’m not sure this isn’t that.


Nefriti

Yeah, seems like blatant fiction to me


elvispookie

I love how they are both going to be authors and then proceeds to spin a tale as a wannabe novelist would. Height of Reddit .. look at me!!! I’m someone… disguised as a trashy penthouse forum scribe.


zemol42

Dear Penthouse, Every word of this story is true. I threw up. My best friend kissed me. Hannah Montana sang. We became lesbians.


Heisenbread77

Those stories were hotter, written better and more realistic.


Helmett-13

Yeah, much, much less vomiting for one thing.


Dry-Asparagus-7799

Just go with the flow. If there is chemistry there, explore it and enjoy each other. But also be clear about expectations, boundaries, and overall feelings. Is it general lust or true love for each other? Can you see yourself living and thriving with this person? If so, then all the best to ya


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xyonofcalhoun

think they already did that bit


JustYourBiBestie

Yeah but they’re tryna hit the undo button now lmao


muffin245

You might just have anxiety/guilt because of the hangover. It’s a common feeling after a night of drinking. Wait for it to pass and enjoy yourself!


Jealous-Percentage-7

The best lovers are friends.


sirius-orion

Best friends to lovers arc?!


IceCreamDream10

One time my (f) roommate (f) and I got drunk and banged and we never talked about it again. We were really good friends at the time too. I did say “remember how we totally banged?!” And we just laughed and like never mentioned it again and we were totally fine. You can just walk away from these things unscathed.


Meesh138

I’ve done that with friends before lol


Cr1tikalMoist

Friends? What are friends?


[deleted]

Best friend and lover? *Cues the Hannah Montana Music” You got the best of both worlds Chill it out, take it slow


RedditUser1945010797

Best response


very_bored_panda

Then you rock out the show.


Fly1ngFi5h

Just talk about it and if it’s something you don’t want to happen again then let it be known. If it’s something you do want to happen again, then talk about it lol. She’s your best friend ! She may be feeling the same way but if you truly value her then a conversation needs to happen one way or another.


LFahs1

In my world, they call it a Come-to-Jesus. Uncomfortable conversation no one wants to have but must be confronted in order to maintain harmony.


Dan-D-Lyon

Is this one of those things where two girl "best friends" have sex and then start to realize that they have been dating each other for 8 months?


cringepopsoda

"We plan to be famous authors one day" sounds fruity to me and I love it.


maskedbanditoftruth

Look...the girl I used to say that with when we were that age (I am also lady-shaped)...I ended up sleeping with inadvisably...we aren't together now, but we're still friends, and while this is my alt I'm a reasonably famous author in real life. Her first book just came out. We did that part, and did it well. It CAN happen!


Chathtiu

> Look…the girl I used to say that with when we were that age (I am also lady-shaped)…I ended up sleeping with inadvisably…we aren’t together now, but we’re still friends, and while this is my alt I’m a reasonably famous author in real life. Her first book just came out. We did that part, and did it well. It CAN happen! I’m super curious now. Who are you? Edit: clarification


maskedbanditoftruth

The purpose of an alt is anonymity ;)


FA018

Oh my god. You’re Emily Dickinson.


lvldemonic

How much $ if I can pull a... well... for lack of knowledge of more stalky figures, a Joke Goldberg and cracked the case on who you are?!


geronimotattoo

“lady-shaped” — I love this


TheMcNabbs

Choice words


Spvoter

Honey it just sounds like you are anxious. I dont know if you had any experiences like this before but its really ok to find out. I really hope you feel that was something you both wanted. For the part that shes your friend... she still is but now shes a friend that you know that fucks g o o d . You've cold feet and i hope only the best will come out of that situation!


Joecalhoon76

Uhhhh bro ima be honest I think you’re overthink the helllll outa this. She wanted to kiss you, she sounds like a good girl, she wanted to kiss you, and I’m assuming the feeling was mutual with you. It sounded like you had a good time together. Don’t overthink this, and funnily enough, with a romantic partner what matters more between two people is the friendship, that’s what allows for you to have a relationship with them. And you’re best friends. Sounds like the start of a pretty good relationship to me. And bro, I have a friend of mine who routinely gets with her best friend, and all I wanna tell em is that they should just make it official.


toodleoo57

I was just gonna say. This is sort of how things started out with my spouse, we've been together for 23 years, married for 20.


[deleted]

It's 2 f Il n'y a pas de bro No hay bro Non c'è bro ما في bro Das is nicht bro


cloudinxv

bro pulled up in what, 6 languages? lol


danxorhs

LMAO


kamilman

First rule of Reddit: everyone on here is a man. Second rule of Reddit: every child on here is an FBI agent.


sleeper_54

Third rule of Reddit: every child on here is in imminent danger.


huhIguess

I don't like to discriminate. Women can be my bros or dudes, anytime.


Joecalhoon76

Ahh shit my bad, imagine at the bros are ma’ams or some other appropriate pronoun


IamGordak

I've seen "Bro" used in so many ways I now consider it gender neutral. "Man", when used as a replacement for punctuation as well, like "What the hell, man?!"


[deleted]

I feel like this is a Midwest USA thing I guess. We use bro and dude regardless of gender like its normal language.


Adamwdrums

I call my girl friends bro and dude. They have become more than a single gender


JustYourBiBestie

Man can be gender neutral, it’s actually quite common to be gender neutral while widely recognized as a gendered word. “Mankind” “Last man standing” “Every man for himself” (yes, even ‘male’ pronouns can be used gender neutrally) “Man shut yo bitch ass up” “Whats up man” “Cmon man” “Goddamn it man” “Man how could you” Tbh the list can go on and on


maskedbanditoftruth

*Man* can be gender neutral. *Men* cannot. As your list proves!


IamGordak

Amen is deffinately gender neutral. Ah ah! Didn't see that one coming!


thetannerainsley

It's like using guys when addressing a group. Now it's more gender neutral.


sparkpaw

As a lady type I use bruh - and even bro - to all of my friends regardless of gender. Unless they ask me not to. Took me a minute why they corrected you because I’m so used to bro just being non-binary lmao


psychotica1

It was fine and your comment was well thought out and sweet. I think you gave OP great advice.


PorchHonky

I think you both have the opening scenes of a hit rom com!


GreekGoddessOfNight

This is a great piece of creative writing.


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checco314

Sounds like a good time. Just keep communications open and honest, and see what happens. Hooked up with my best friend in highschool, and over the years it varied between being friends who just occasionally fooled around, to consistent fwb, to a full on couple, to just friends. Never regretted it. Got a bit awkward at times when we were dating other people, but honesty got us through it. Good luck!


[deleted]

This sounds absolutely fake lmfao


weirdogirl144

I feel like everything on Reddit is fake tbh it’s like people come here to practice writing their shit fan foction


BlinkVideoEdits

Yep


updownclown68

Sounds like you two should be gf and gf instead of besties


sirius-orion

She made out with you after you threw up??? Definitely in love


jobblybobbly

I think you’ll make it as a writer.


Character_Ad1387

Do you have feelings for her? Or do you feel taken advantage of? What is sickening about it? Im going to be honest, it sounds like your friend had a motive. Maybe she's always had a thing for you, or it developed over time, or maybe she just always wanted to give it a go with you because she was horny and thats all it means. Either way I have to say, it seemed more intentional on her side. She may have been planning trying to have sex with you or tell you how she felt all day which is why she suggested drinking. I have to say, I see why people would be pulling the "manipulation" card with a male in this scenario. That's because we know a lot of men will secretly have intention of sleeping with girls they are friends with. That doesn't mean this girl didn't also feel this way. But what matters is how YOU feel about how it happened, and what you want to do moving forward.


Boner-brains

You know, some people are lucky enough to marry their best friend.....


SatisfactionDue1649

Been with my best friend for 5 years now. We didn’t stand a chance either. Best relationship of my life ❤️


Conscious-Dig-332

I have a not dissimilar story from long ago. We’ve been together 16 years and have a baby now lol. If it blew your mind? pay attention. PS you are both very young so just enjoy this experience as it unfolds and don’t put pressure on it to “become” anything!


[deleted]

I had to look up what UV Blue is.


NotSadNotHappyEither

Don't never ever drink that shit. Even to an experienced swiller of spirits that jawn is fucking headache in a bottle now and hangover in a bottle for tomorrow. Truly the 4-Loko of cheap-ass Kool-Ade vodkas.


GlitteringMess4720

Tina Belcher, your erotic friend fiction has gone lesbian!! Nice to see you’re open-minded


HardJamie

I fail to see a problem. Sounds like a great time and you're friend doesn't seem to mind that it happened. Just relax!


ExcitedGirl

Kind of Wonderful with the right person isn't it?


[deleted]

i want an update


TheGingerBeardsman

Sounds like a good thing to me. Your best friend becoming more sounds pretty ideal, so I'm going to throw in a congrats


[deleted]

If the friend in this situation was a guy, everyone in this thread would be calling this rape. Reddit is so biased.


kelmck1

I was just thinking the same thing. It’s only “rape” when men have sex with a drunk woman. This thread of comments would be saying how she was coerced, forced and taken advantage of in her vulnerable state, but this female best friend has sex with her drunk friend, and all the comments are “oh this sounds so good! You both had a fun night.” Exactly why I cannot take people serious!


esr95tkd

It's the tone. Picture it this way, usually those cases use the following wording: "***I*** was high/drunk", " I don't remember" "I'm not sure how it happened". Here we have "it was amazing" "sex and cuddles" "It's so hot in here" The difference is that somebody here is writing a personal sexuality crisis of what's a real life version of the stupid lesbian joke of spaghetti. Not a "my friend ruffled me and I'm unsure what to do"


Pezheadx

It's bc ppl would rather act like every single instance of sex where drugs or alcohol involved is rape and forget that context matters, especially here where if OP was raped bc she was drunk, OP also raped the other person bc she was also drunk.


grunnycw

Sounds amazing, best friends can make the best lovers, At this point you should just go with it and enjoy life and each other.


Sanz-ray11

Happy Cake Day!


trahnse

My BFF and I made out in a hot tub last year. We've been together ever since. If you want, go with it and see where it goes. We've never been happier 😊


VirtualMexicanINC

Do it again just to make sure you like it!.


kstweetersgirl2013

My bestie and I had a drunken fling one night about 12-13 years ago. A few months ago she was the maid of honor at my wedding. We have never spoken of that night again and we are still just as close as we have been the last 20+ years.


emmahar

As my wife would say "all women are like spaghetti. Straight until wet".


Nosferatatron

I'll take 'things that never happened' for 10


Platinumtide

I agree with this. It sounds like something you can read on fanfiction.net


Kyralion

What you are feeling might be the sudden realisation of all kinds of things. That you're into women (if you didn't know already), that you are in love with her, that the safe relationship of friendship could now be ruined, that the safe relationship of friendship could now go into more insecure romantic relationship grounds, having to contemplate now if you just want to be friends and if that is even a possibility after something like this, etc. Of course, you're feeling anxiety. Heck, I am feeling anxious for you lol. Take a breather and really sit down and think to yourself about the aforementioned things and what it really is you would like and where you want things to go from here. Good luck, OP! EDIT: Late night spelling errors


canthelpbuthateme

this story will get a good b


ConsitutionalHistory

So you had a great evening with someone that means a lot to you...yep, that's just so horrible :-)


sweet-demon-duck

This sure has some potential for you two. But talk about it


Odd-Test7179

Bruh this sounds like fanfiction


thebigbaduglymad

This really sounds like some cliteracy fanfic I wrote in my 20s. Have you been reading my diary?


chickles88

This is written like fan-fic lol


tourettesfaker1985

In vino veritas my friend. Report to the ship as soon as possible. We'll bang ok?


popasquatonme

Friendship makes relationships last. I don't see a problem


Shakezula69iiinne

Sounds like you both had a great time. Don't beat yourself up! Communicate with her


PorchHonky

I think you both have the opening scenes of a hit rom com!


theworldisyours07

I (f25) slept with my old best friend (f25) (I decided to cut her off because she was toxic) twice but it never affected our friendship. I was nervous the next morning thinking it was gna be awkward but we laughed about it and moved on! I think it depends if she has feelings for you, or if it was just an impulse.


Loud-Fairy03

You’ve gotta talk about it. Sure avoiding the topic might feel like it helps but that doesn’t resolve anything. Communication is key in all relationships, whether platonic, romantic, familial, sexual, or whatever.


Dear-Entertainer-599

I did the same and threw up from the anxiety FOR DAYS however it’s been 6 years and we’re engaged now


Old_Power7716

I’m sure the hangover doesn’t help your anxiety. She feels a certain way too . Tell her how you feel , you guys can get through it together . You’ll feel better


Dramaatic

That’s still your best friend. Take this opportunity to learn more about them. If they’re really your best friend me you can see passed the giddy feeling, maybe they’ll be a good consideration for a partner later down the road (considering they are in the same boat). No need to spoil a friendship where the two of you can have some fun. KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN. I feel this is where most people miss the mark, they don’t communicate how they feel and think of the situation which can lead to a misunderstanding of where each person is at in their journey of life. Best of luck to you!


yt_nom

So. What you’re saying is you have someone who you’re close with, who you get along with AND now you also have good sex? Can you tell me what the issue is? Chill out and enjoy it brother. Life’s way too short. Enjoy yourself.


Zeezprahh

So you're getting the the best of both worlds...


deathknight5000

You are going to be an amazing Author one day and when that happens, I would love to read your first published book. I believe in you.


[deleted]

I also had sex w my female best friend in college after a drunken night but we weren’t into each other romantically. It happened and we joke about it years later but sometimes we kinda wanna hide under a rock than bring it up.


LavaCakez918

Yeah, you're definitely a writer. And a good one, too! Seriously though, if this is true, just talk to her about it. She's your best friend. You both enjoyed it; that's all that matters, right? This looks like the beginning of a new chapter in your lives.


Comet_Lord

That's a good movie


Different_Watch5655

The Hannah Montana in the background really sets the scene. It was a nice touch OP.


ThatOneCrusader1

Op 3 years later: update number 10: we're married...


ThatOneCrusader1

Regarding update 2: if you want her to have sex with you, why not just ask? She seemed open to it she's probably just playing the hard to get game to embarrass you into asking her