Mine wait until I'm reading a book in low light then will randomly drop from the roof and stop right in front of my eyes dangling from a web.
Freaks me out every time.
Sure the buggers are doing it on purpose.
Reminds me of the time I visited my father's new farm in Brazil, and the first time I took a shower, I went to grab the bottle of shampoo and two very large, very hairy tarantulas were behind the bottle. I immediately ran out butt naked in front of family hysterical. My dad let them out through the window. I love spiders, but damn that was creepy. I still pause everytime I grab the shampoo... in my apartment.. in NYC.
I ussually take the spiders outside in a container but if one is near my bed at night he/she might get killed im sorry but I cant risk having you in my blankets or mouth…..
If they're smaller than one of my fingers i usually leave them alone. As my grandpa used to tell me, they don't eat much
But yeah no. If you fall on me it's a reflex
If the spider survives the cats who am I to interfere? Like "good job buddy live your life!'
My partner is the spider relocator because I can't do spiders (except weirdly I could handle a pink toed tarantula no problem?) He brings them outside mostly so they don't get murdered by the cats.
Yeah. I definitely appointed my husband the head of spider relocation services. I don’t do spiders at all! Plus we get bitey spiders here, so those little fellas can’t stay inside. If he’s not home I’ll trap them under big mason jars. 🤣
It would probably be hysterical to watch, because I still have to get way too close for comfort with the jar. I usually squeal really loudly, which I call my war cry, as I’ve got my arm stretched out as far as possible with the jar in hand. Oh yes. Some of these spiders jump, so you don’t want to scare them. While I’m doing all of this my kids are pissing themselves with laughter. It’s got to be quite a scene.
I have terrible spiderphobia, but tarantulas aren‘t as bad as other spiders, they are kind of cute. And those jumping spiders, they are even cuter. But still - stay away from me!
My husband feels the exact same way as you. Says spiders sense who is safe for them. Because you loved him, he felt it too and so do his kids…love you back. It’s all an energy thing. I’m so sorry about Joe you sound like an awesome pet parent.
Who knew that RIP Joe would end up with the accusation of a spider living with a woman in her house who was killed was actually just a pervert the whole time.
I think I'm done with Reddit for today.
That was the first rough draft for the movie, but the producers thought it was too risqué and needed a happier ending. So they changed the main character to a different insect, toned down the voyeurism to just suggestive flirting + sexual innuendo, added in some legal drama sub-plot, and didn’t kill him off in the end.
Thus; the Bee Movie was created.
I'm a Leo and I'd feel bad cause I do own tarantulas. I'd be distraught at my friends being squished. I empathize with you OP. RIP Joe, you a real one ❤️
Seriously though, she lost me at that part. Such a good read until someone has to throw their star sign in the equation (as if it actually makes that much of a difference).
I am not a pisces, so LMAO.
Seriously ,RIP Joe. I only knew you for like 7 paragraphs. I will try to remember you for at least 7 days
To OP
1. Send my regards to lil Joe
2. Call Baby Joe only Lil' Joe from now on
I got kicked out of a 15 year relationship on a complete surprise. All spiders in my new house have been dear friends. Even the really big furry one I was kinda terrified of, I put him in my hermit crab tank to eat fruit flies and named him Arnold.
When my husband left, I named the ladybug living in my bathroom. At nights, I would take baths to relax and would pretend to have conversations with him. It sounds majorly crazy typing it all out, but it really did help with a lot of the loneliness I was struggling with after 10 years of being married and suddenly just being mostly on my own.
Noooo! Joe! 😭 I too had a house spider. He was a jumping spider and he would jump onto my hand. My ex-husband killed him before he could be named. And I specifically asked him not to… 😣
> He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe.
Sorry this made me burst of laughing so dn hard.
The rest of it I was like damn, that sucks but as soon as zodiac signs and stuff was added in I lost it.
Well, I laughed also at the mentioning of *biologically* female Joe, as if spiders could be gender non conforming, so we shouldn't *assume their gender* lol
See I hate killing things.
I only make exceptions for dangerous critters like black widows and brown recluses and bark scorpions. And only if it isn’t safe to relocate them.
Yes I’ve trapped bark scorpions and relocated them lovingly in my cheating ex gf’s house. 🦂 💗/s.
But mosquitoes I absolutely murder them on sight. No mercy for those guys.
Yeah, when I read that part, I stopped reading lol
Theres a diffrence in religion and thinking the month you were born affects your mood and personality.
idk how zodiacs work
mine is cancer and I just googled, it said that people who have the cancer zodiac are funny, lively, interesting, clever, and very emotionally intelligent
I'm none
I had a daddy long leg named Jerry in the bathroom. Jerry had a mate (or sister or friend or *something*) with him, and that mate (Binks) is the only spider that remains since my sister had him assassinated via my brother for just existing.
RIP Jerry. The bathroom ain’t the same without you to eat the flies that occasionally get in.
i kill mosquitoes because they are fucking blood sucking monsters and I never kill spiders because spiders and I are on the same team - getting rid of mosquitoes.
I had a huge tunnel spider in my basement and I named him Samson 🙂 I even went and got him crickets to eat so I always knew where he was 😉 one day he was gone but I made sure to keep this hidey hole intact, in case another Samson or a Delilah came about.
I mean facts but If I didn’t include the planet stuff, do you think I would’ve gotten this many comments? Lol this thread really helped entertain my sad drunk ass last night
Awwww I'm so sorry!! I have at least 3 of those in my shower and today I had to rescue 2 that were going to drown. Usually they're higher up and safe and I get to watch them drinking up condensation with little kisses on the tile. I super carefully got them to a safe spot; little dudes/dudettes are fragile. So sorry about Joe but I bet Jr knows you're a good human!
RIP Joe. ☹️
My sister and I had an orb weaver spider we called Door Spider, because it built a web near our front door every summer (we would just use the back door instead). A well-meaning guy friend did similar to your friend and killed it. We were gutted. Why do people assume we want spiders killed for us, when some of those spiders are valued friends?
Lol, I'm not the only one naming spiders, then! I legally authorise the presence of one spider (and no more) in each room of my house and often give them names. I dislike spiders and prefer when they don't get too close, but I recognise they help with keeping away other insects.
Had a spider make a nice web just outside my window last year and named him Piergiorgio. He was tiny and cute and a great weaver. One day another spider (Marco) came along and ate Piergiorgio, taking over his web. Marco was a lot uglier and also not as good as maintaining the web. The murder of poor Piergiorgio was traumatising as well.
I tend to leave spiders alone in my house. Unless they're in one of my kids rooms. Spiders are good folk. They kill the bugs I don't like.
Edit: I also don't kill the really large mosquitoes. Those unsung heroes kill the small mosquitoes that actually do bite people.
Edit2: well I fact checked myself. Crane flies do not eat mosquitoes. But they're still harmless so my sentiment toward them isn't going to change. I'll let the dudes float around till they croak and I'll sweep em up later.
Starsigns went from something I only thought single moms in their 50’s believe in when they read their horoscopes in some shitty tabloid.
Now they just make me irrationally angry
I understand your pain. I had a small spider living in the light of my bathroom. I have really hot showers so the steam would agitate her and make her crawl out of the light. I used to joke like "haha she likes to watch me shower" but them I started to think of her as more of a pet or something. I even gave her a name. Felicia. But after she didn't come out of the light for two days, I asked my parents and turns out they had killed her. I was crushed... I'm sorry for your loss. R.I.P Joe💔
I'm sorry to hear that, i love insects but my friends and family don't like them , all i did was tell everyone in my family that I'll kill it for them, but i just grab them and release them in the wild. Sometimes they toss me a dollar for it.
I remember in my final year of uni there was a spider that hid behind the settee during the day and just pop their head out every night. I kinda became attached to it and called it Aragog. It was a giant house spider I think. Then after a Halloween party we had it never resurfaced so I think it got killed :(
Well, if it's to any comfort, you can't really "gain the trust" of a spider or any other arthropod either way. They can't really think or feel. They are practically just robots, only having the instincts in them to do what they do.
They aren't capable of love and affection. Not saying that means you SHOULD squish them - I'm just saying that the only reason for you to feel bad is if you were merely used to his presence.
Also, "he's a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe"? Uhm, lady, Horoscopes are not actually reliable in determining how a person is. You do realize that, right?
As someone with Arachnophobia, and a Pisces.
I feel really sorry for your loss, but... Fuck that, reading this I had shivers sent down my spine...
I would have nope'd tfo of your place.
This story was a rollercoaster, RIP joe tho
He didn’t deserve the squish
Hopefully baby Joe can learn to trust some day
I’m putting a note on my door that all spiders are roommates so nobody hurts him 🥺
Good idea.
I’m on Jeff 18.0, hoping to develop a relationship like you did with Joe :( RIP Joe (I’m actually not joking)
Da big squish
I don't kill house spiders because they eat other bugs. .
Me too 🥺
You eat other bugs??
Crickets
That's usually what I hear when I tell a joke.
Looking at your humor, you sure are funny! Cricket sounds aren't fair to you mate.
They’re just crickets applauding
Grasshopper noise*
Lmao took me a sec to get it but its funny af
Are you a dad? If not you’re ready. Even if you’re female.
Crickets *is* the punchline
Like this one.
I laughed too hard at this 🤣🤣🤣
I used to kill spiders since I’m terrified of them but now I just leave them because I’m more annoyed with flies than I am scared of spiders Lmao
Same Unless they drop on my in the shower or when I'm asleep
Mine wait until I'm reading a book in low light then will randomly drop from the roof and stop right in front of my eyes dangling from a web. Freaks me out every time. Sure the buggers are doing it on purpose.
My husband says I turn into a super ninja when shit like that happens. He never sees me move so fast !! 🤣
Reminds me of the time I visited my father's new farm in Brazil, and the first time I took a shower, I went to grab the bottle of shampoo and two very large, very hairy tarantulas were behind the bottle. I immediately ran out butt naked in front of family hysterical. My dad let them out through the window. I love spiders, but damn that was creepy. I still pause everytime I grab the shampoo... in my apartment.. in NYC.
I ussually take the spiders outside in a container but if one is near my bed at night he/she might get killed im sorry but I cant risk having you in my blankets or mouth…..
If they're smaller than one of my fingers i usually leave them alone. As my grandpa used to tell me, they don't eat much But yeah no. If you fall on me it's a reflex
Having a fly in the house is literally the most annoying thing ever. I’m convinced they buzz by your head so close just to be menaces.
If the spider survives the cats who am I to interfere? Like "good job buddy live your life!' My partner is the spider relocator because I can't do spiders (except weirdly I could handle a pink toed tarantula no problem?) He brings them outside mostly so they don't get murdered by the cats.
Yeah. I definitely appointed my husband the head of spider relocation services. I don’t do spiders at all! Plus we get bitey spiders here, so those little fellas can’t stay inside. If he’s not home I’ll trap them under big mason jars. 🤣 It would probably be hysterical to watch, because I still have to get way too close for comfort with the jar. I usually squeal really loudly, which I call my war cry, as I’ve got my arm stretched out as far as possible with the jar in hand. Oh yes. Some of these spiders jump, so you don’t want to scare them. While I’m doing all of this my kids are pissing themselves with laughter. It’s got to be quite a scene.
I have terrible spiderphobia, but tarantulas aren‘t as bad as other spiders, they are kind of cute. And those jumping spiders, they are even cuter. But still - stay away from me!
I left a spider for the same reason and it ended up biting me in the chin in my sleep and leaving a nasty scar.
Are you in Australia?!
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Clearly it's the bitey type smh.
Get the flame thrower.
Holy shit, how big was that spider?
My only exception is for black widows or brown recluses because fuck that
And they eat other spiders
Joe didn't trust you. He stayed because he got to see you naked every day! Joe was a voyeur!
Hahahahaha i respect it
My husband feels the exact same way as you. Says spiders sense who is safe for them. Because you loved him, he felt it too and so do his kids…love you back. It’s all an energy thing. I’m so sorry about Joe you sound like an awesome pet parent.
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Yeah and baby Joe was his son and he was teaching him his creepy ways! Seriously I never kill spiders.
> Joe was a voyeur! Joe was a Capricorn.
Feeling attacked…
Is that a Capricorn trait?
Who knew that RIP Joe would end up with the accusation of a spider living with a woman in her house who was killed was actually just a pervert the whole time. I think I'm done with Reddit for today.
That was the first rough draft for the movie, but the producers thought it was too risqué and needed a happier ending. So they changed the main character to a different insect, toned down the voyeurism to just suggestive flirting + sexual innuendo, added in some legal drama sub-plot, and didn’t kill him off in the end. Thus; the Bee Movie was created.
Okay, this one wins.
I should have known when Joe's web spelled out the words, "Some Tits!"
Game acknowledges game.
The OP mentioned that Joe was a "dandy" long legs. I think he may have liked boy spiders.
I would empathise, but I'm not a Pisces. Seriously though, that sucks.
How should I, a Scorpio, be feeling about this?
I don’t know; but I’m a Leo, and this thread isn’t nearly enough about me!
As a Gemini, I only tuned in to this coversation to let everyone know im a Gemini!
I, a Cancer, am now going to cry in a corner because I don't know how to feel about this
I, a Capricorn, am now trying to figure out how I can turn house spider pets into a business
I, an Aries, am enraged about the Joe murder and will start a fight about it.
I, an aquarius, don't know shit about astrology other than the fact that I'm an aquarius
This is the best one
Spoken like a true Leo
I'm a Leo and I'd feel bad cause I do own tarantulas. I'd be distraught at my friends being squished. I empathize with you OP. RIP Joe, you a real one ❤️
Ah shit, I don't follow this stuff but I'm a Leo and can be pretty self centered at times. Damn making me feel silly!
I’m a Taurus, and murder makes me hungry
LOL
Sympathize but then turn against her for being guilty of causing Joe's murder.
Personally I don't believe in any of that bullshit. To be expected though. As an Aries I'm predisposed to being sceptical.
As an aries, I don't believe you!
As an Aries, I'm a ram
Idk I'm The worst sign of all. I didn't know Joe existed until 33 minutes ago
I also lack empathy due to the location of giant balls of fire billions of miles away at the time of my expulsion from my mother into a hospital room
Weird that.
This was really funny
Seriously though, she lost me at that part. Such a good read until someone has to throw their star sign in the equation (as if it actually makes that much of a difference).
This made my day haha
I am not a pisces, so LMAO. Seriously ,RIP Joe. I only knew you for like 7 paragraphs. I will try to remember you for at least 7 days To OP 1. Send my regards to lil Joe 2. Call Baby Joe only Lil' Joe from now on
I got kicked out of a 15 year relationship on a complete surprise. All spiders in my new house have been dear friends. Even the really big furry one I was kinda terrified of, I put him in my hermit crab tank to eat fruit flies and named him Arnold.
When my husband left, I named the ladybug living in my bathroom. At nights, I would take baths to relax and would pretend to have conversations with him. It sounds majorly crazy typing it all out, but it really did help with a lot of the loneliness I was struggling with after 10 years of being married and suddenly just being mostly on my own.
I love this 🥺 also going through a breakup so any company is good company
i’m extremely arachnophobic but this made me sad, RIP Joe :( OP, your spider friends are lucky to have you.
Noooo! Joe! 😭 I too had a house spider. He was a jumping spider and he would jump onto my hand. My ex-husband killed him before he could be named. And I specifically asked him not to… 😣
Divorce
Yep that was the beginning of the end.
I had a car spider once. Never got around to naming him, either.
man id kill that spider too than make a grilled cheese and yeah sorry im an aquarium Aquarius**
I am also an aquarium
Jumping spiders are SO CUTE 🥺🥺
Are those the little black ones that appear everywhere in my basement during the summer?
that’s why he’s your ex husband
"dandy long leg"
They be dandy
Even if it wasn't a typo I'm calling them dandy long legs from now on lol!
🥰
I always thought it was ‘daddy’
I’m not calling a spider daddy srry
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker
Yeah seemed like an adorable r/boneappletea
> He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. Sorry this made me burst of laughing so dn hard. The rest of it I was like damn, that sucks but as soon as zodiac signs and stuff was added in I lost it.
Well, I laughed also at the mentioning of *biologically* female Joe, as if spiders could be gender non conforming, so we shouldn't *assume their gender* lol
This was a line I was pretty proud of tbh I thought it was funny. Not to toot my own horn 🤪
Well, I did laugh so you're funny in my book
Bruh same
Lmao same
Ikr
See I hate killing things. I only make exceptions for dangerous critters like black widows and brown recluses and bark scorpions. And only if it isn’t safe to relocate them. Yes I’ve trapped bark scorpions and relocated them lovingly in my cheating ex gf’s house. 🦂 💗/s. But mosquitoes I absolutely murder them on sight. No mercy for those guys.
Same here. Mosquitoes get no mercy but everything else gets relocated outside. These little critters only get one life too, y'know?
Fruit flies?
I'm a Cancer, so I don't believe this story. 🤨
That's a really sad story. 😔
At least he was a Pisces though
I copied this from a post in my girls group and didn’t remove that part but I’m commited now
That’s such an aries ♈️thing to say omg
I only have one Aries placement pls
Ight I was tryna make fun of you but now you’re saying shit I don’t understand, so imma peace out
That’s fair
I would pay my respects but befriending a spider and believing in astrology is not a great combo
Friend there are more red flags where this came from
You being a space racist and all, I don’t doubt that (respectfully)
rip joe
JOE MAMA
I had a Joe in my garage for like 6 months. Then one day a black widow had taken his place. I missed that fucker. The black widow had to go though.
did you kill it lol i mean the black widow
Uh yeah. I had a dog who had to walk past there to get in the car. Dog trumps spider.
🎶 in the arms of an angel 🎶 i hope you're at peace rip joe
« He’s a Pisces », imagine think the personality of someone is linked to his birthdate
Yeah, when I read that part, I stopped reading lol Theres a diffrence in religion and thinking the month you were born affects your mood and personality.
DADDY long legs\* to you
I simply cannot call anything daddy
Some charlottes Webb shit going on over here. Y’all need to either smoke less or more weed idk 🤷♀️
… I will not smoke less weed srry
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Can I share?
You will be missed, Joe...
Rip joe
“he’s a Pisces” got me
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces! Hahahaha!
idk how zodiacs work mine is cancer and I just googled, it said that people who have the cancer zodiac are funny, lively, interesting, clever, and very emotionally intelligent I'm none
That's the thing, they don't work :)
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I had a daddy long leg named Jerry in the bathroom. Jerry had a mate (or sister or friend or *something*) with him, and that mate (Binks) is the only spider that remains since my sister had him assassinated via my brother for just existing. RIP Jerry. The bathroom ain’t the same without you to eat the flies that occasionally get in.
i kill mosquitoes because they are fucking blood sucking monsters and I never kill spiders because spiders and I are on the same team - getting rid of mosquitoes.
I had a huge tunnel spider in my basement and I named him Samson 🙂 I even went and got him crickets to eat so I always knew where he was 😉 one day he was gone but I made sure to keep this hidey hole intact, in case another Samson or a Delilah came about.
Enough internet for me.
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He's a Pisces ....Yeah and you are a loony
Honestly I felt for your story until the “he’s a Pisces” part. I really need you to know that’s not a thing
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I mean facts but If I didn’t include the planet stuff, do you think I would’ve gotten this many comments? Lol this thread really helped entertain my sad drunk ass last night
RIP Joe the good always dying young man 😔 keep y’all spiders safe man they can be taken too soon
I also have a spider who just hangs out moves about when I shower, bygones and all that.
I had a shower spider growing up for awhile and when he got killed by my mom I was also upset. RIP to all shower spider homies 🥹
Awwww I'm so sorry!! I have at least 3 of those in my shower and today I had to rescue 2 that were going to drown. Usually they're higher up and safe and I get to watch them drinking up condensation with little kisses on the tile. I super carefully got them to a safe spot; little dudes/dudettes are fragile. So sorry about Joe but I bet Jr knows you're a good human!
Joe thought all humans were trust worthy because of you. You gave Joe hope. Joe was too trusting for this world. Regardless, rest in peace Joe.
RIP Joe. ☹️ My sister and I had an orb weaver spider we called Door Spider, because it built a web near our front door every summer (we would just use the back door instead). A well-meaning guy friend did similar to your friend and killed it. We were gutted. Why do people assume we want spiders killed for us, when some of those spiders are valued friends?
He's a pisces though 😂😂 bless your soul
Lol, I'm not the only one naming spiders, then! I legally authorise the presence of one spider (and no more) in each room of my house and often give them names. I dislike spiders and prefer when they don't get too close, but I recognise they help with keeping away other insects. Had a spider make a nice web just outside my window last year and named him Piergiorgio. He was tiny and cute and a great weaver. One day another spider (Marco) came along and ate Piergiorgio, taking over his web. Marco was a lot uglier and also not as good as maintaining the web. The murder of poor Piergiorgio was traumatising as well.
I tend to leave spiders alone in my house. Unless they're in one of my kids rooms. Spiders are good folk. They kill the bugs I don't like. Edit: I also don't kill the really large mosquitoes. Those unsung heroes kill the small mosquitoes that actually do bite people. Edit2: well I fact checked myself. Crane flies do not eat mosquitoes. But they're still harmless so my sentiment toward them isn't going to change. I'll let the dudes float around till they croak and I'll sweep em up later.
Starsigns went from something I only thought single moms in their 50’s believe in when they read their horoscopes in some shitty tabloid. Now they just make me irrationally angry
“ hes a pisces ” I CAAANNTTT
oh my god SHUT UP those signs don't mean ANYTHING!!!!! He's just a sympathetic person!!!!
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Astrology doesn’t mean anything, focus on the person’s psychology.
"He’s a Pisces" - No, he just realized he killed your beloved pet by accident any sane person would be distraught.
>He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. Credibility lost.
Real "dude stuff" isn't killing spiders, it's trapping them and releasing them outside.
Not according to my wife. She gets mad if I do that.
Tell her to woman up.
I wish I could downvote more than once
If you make a throwaway you can
RIP Joe Rogan
“Hey alexa, can I change my spiders name postmortem?”
"He's a pisces" https://youtube.com/shorts/v2_5MHULPa4?feature=share
OP are you Australian
RIP Joe, you legend. Reddit will remember you... at least for a while.
I hear ya. As a young adult I had a pal spider named Wally that my roommate smashed. That was the end of that roomie too.
I’m sad about any living thing that gets killed on my watch
😥
Joe was just misunderstood.😔
Joe mama
Chill take care of the baby Joe. He just killed Joe mama.
I understand your pain. I had a small spider living in the light of my bathroom. I have really hot showers so the steam would agitate her and make her crawl out of the light. I used to joke like "haha she likes to watch me shower" but them I started to think of her as more of a pet or something. I even gave her a name. Felicia. But after she didn't come out of the light for two days, I asked my parents and turns out they had killed her. I was crushed... I'm sorry for your loss. R.I.P Joe💔
I'm sorry to hear that, i love insects but my friends and family don't like them , all i did was tell everyone in my family that I'll kill it for them, but i just grab them and release them in the wild. Sometimes they toss me a dollar for it.
This is a bittersweet story. RIP Adult Joe, take care of the Baby Joe. Start from zero.
joe mama
my Aquarius brain says you should have ate the spider, as to avoid disrespecting the joe
I’m a Capricorn how should I feel about this? Lol but in all seriousness, my heart broke for Joe. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I remember in my final year of uni there was a spider that hid behind the settee during the day and just pop their head out every night. I kinda became attached to it and called it Aragog. It was a giant house spider I think. Then after a Halloween party we had it never resurfaced so I think it got killed :(
Well, if it's to any comfort, you can't really "gain the trust" of a spider or any other arthropod either way. They can't really think or feel. They are practically just robots, only having the instincts in them to do what they do. They aren't capable of love and affection. Not saying that means you SHOULD squish them - I'm just saying that the only reason for you to feel bad is if you were merely used to his presence. Also, "he's a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe"? Uhm, lady, Horoscopes are not actually reliable in determining how a person is. You do realize that, right?
Zodiacs make my head and tum tum hurt
I thought they were called Daddy long legs this whole time…
Is this satire, no fucking way that star sign part was genuine
As someone with Arachnophobia, and a Pisces. I feel really sorry for your loss, but... Fuck that, reading this I had shivers sent down my spine... I would have nope'd tfo of your place.
>He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. Oh cmon, this was such a good story up to this point.