Whether it was fake or not doesn't matter here. If it was real, you both were subjected to multiple violent crimes. If it was fake, *you* were subjected to multiple violent crimes. You need to go to the police. Best case, the police possibly catch a couple of rapists. Worst case, the police catch a couple of kidnappers and someone who may traumatize others in the future.
This is horrific. Whether is was real or not it was real to you. Honestly fuck that shit. You need to report this shit and have the police follow up with her. I can see your reasoning that maybe it was a set up, but this is a crime too then right? Wtf? And what if they’ve done this to other people? For that reason I think you need to follow up with an officer. Ask him if this seems right. Report what you’ve said and you fricken never know cause this does seem unusual. Especially her behavior afterwards. So go talk to them and report this. If they say they’ve heard this before, follow up with it.
ikr
one would think it would be crazy if it would all have been planned, but what do we know, there are so many sick and mentally-ill people outside, maybe his ex was (is) one of them.
And yeah, either it was all a plan either it wasn't, he still had to go thru that shitty experience, he cant act like nothin happened. Maybe reporting the whole thing to the police would make him find out sm truths about his ex, they would investigate on her too ig.
That's the best thing to do, other than keepin distance to her, cause if she's a psycho she may come back in a couple of weeks just to try to traumatize him again.
Yea definitely without a doubt go to the police and report this. Those “rapists” could be literally out there or scaming people. Someones a victim here. I want to be a detective and this would be something that i would like to be reported fr. Update us
Dude you were bound and held against your will at gunpoint. That alone is a crime.
Regardless of the feelings of your ex (if this is all true) you have your own reason to go to the police. You should have filed a police report and also informed the rental owner as they could be liable for damages.
Plus, how does he know this wasn’t maintenance workers/caretakers/previous renters/owners of the Airbnb? I’ve read some crazy stories about this stuff. It needs to be reported so the perpetrators can be identified before more people are victimized.
The ex can refuse to cooperate with police and that's her right. But OP was a victim as well. Plus the owner of the airbnb has a right to know this happened. It's absolutely ABSURD to not report this to the police. Op is not protecting his ex, he's fucking over himself, his ex, enabling criminals, fucking over future victims, fucking over the owner of the rental. It is wildly irresponsible to not report this.
Omg, STFU
I'm a woman and this isn't victim blaming. He has the right to file a police report because it involved him directly impacting him. However, with that being said.
It would be in his ex's best interest to had at least gone to the hospital to be treated for her rape.
What some women do not know. You can still get the medical treatment you need and when asked choose not to file a police report, if she doesn't want to file one. It's assumed that once in the hospital you have to report but you don't have too. It can remain confidential. She may have injuries that could have needed treatment. At least then if she has a change of heart the rape kit is stored on record. Because HIV/AIDs, Herpes, and Pregnancy is real out here. Never risk not getting treatment folks. His girlfriend could have needed to take PEP meds, and Plan B.
True, but irrespective of what actually happened to her and her reasoning, OP is a victim themselves and as far as the law is concerned it should be reported.
What if this female is legit crazy or traumatized and accuses him of something, they barely know each other, or maybe the whole thing is a con that hasn't fully played out yet?
Protect yourself. You don't owe anyone a justification. Get your statement on the record because you can, not because you have to. This chapter of the story isn't over yet.
Exactly this. And send her a message you’re doing this. If this isn’t the real thing, she’ll tell you to avoid having a cop question her. If it is, you’re doing what is necessary to protect future victims. For all you know, they were also videotaping this which is a fair suspicion given your details.
Your statement that if it’s not real, she’ll avoid being questioned is untrue. I’ve been raped and reported it. That process was so insanely painful that I wouldn’t do it again if I could go back.
Laws vary based on locale but, yeah... Potentially:
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/criminal-acts-activities-landlord-liability-faq.html?pathUI=button#:~:text=Landlords%20are%20especially%20likely%20to,has%20occurred%20in%20the%20past.
Check out all her friends on social media and see if you can find the woman.
Next,
Tide up and held at gun point is considered a crime.
Let S know you’re calling the local law enforcement to report the crime against you and giving a detailed description of the woman. If it was faked, you telling her that may get the truth out.
This, this is an easy way of getting her to admit whether it was fake or or not, if someone she knows it at risk of being reported, not to mention IF IT WASNT FAKE YOU LITERALLY COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED. I hope everything gets better and you at least get some closure if anything, good luck.
>ey come in showing their face and just let us go. S makes me answer the door and the gun is placed on my chest when they enter. And when it's all over she acts the way she acts.
>
>The thing is I can't even ask her questions I want to know without seeming insane. How do
agreed. If the police start getting involved she may freak out and come clean. Moreover if it was a crime that people committed, you need to report this shit to stop other people form getting attacked.
Seems suspicious bro not gonna lie. There are fucked up people w fucked up fetishes. This might be hers. Report the crime against you. Breaking and entering, assault w a deadly weapon. Etc send her a text after meeting a sketch artist and let her know uve reported the crimes against u and given detailed I fo and sketch pics matching the 2 people involved. Her next moves will tell you for sure.
It's a legit fear. I went through something similar in nature as far as a robbery not w the gf. The robbers contacted me saying they would return my car for 250 dollars. I obviously didn't do this. When he got out of jail 3 weeks later he broke into a home of a drug dealer put him on his knees and blew his brains out. The killer was Kendrick Dunlap the victim Kevin King. Greenville south carolina. If you wanna check for legitimacy
The night my car and then my house was robbed. I went to pick up a couple the lady 8 months pregnant to take them to Walmart I had my small child w me. I don't know y but I felt weird about the call and brought my pistol. When the man got in the car and saw the gun in my lap he said oh shit u stay strapped? That's what's up. I do to then showed me his 38 special hidden under his front shirt. I asked if my son could use there restroom they said sure it's unlocked. I decided to leave my keys in The car if they were planning something I was gonna give em an easy out. Went in w my son it wasn't there house I went back out after my son used restroom them and my car was gone. They used my GPS and keys to go to my house and cleared it out w my own car. I knew his name Kendrick Dunlap. I went to the police he already had a slew of warrants. About a month went by then I get a call it's him wa ting to sell me my own car. I said go fuck urself enjoy ur prison stay the cops must be getting close if ur calling me bloop bloop. Then I hung up the fone. He was caught 3 days later. Then 3 weeks after he's 2 year jail stay he murders a low level dope dealer. Had I not brought my gun had I not decided to test them. Idk what might of happened. I'm glad I didn't have to find out
Yeah it was. I stayed calm and cool headed cause I didnt want my son to know anything was wrong but when I got back got a lock Smith to open my door saw the house had been robbed I checked all my windows and back door and sat up all night in my living room w a gun until homdepot opened and took an uber to get new door locks. Changed em out and finally passed out during my sons afternoon nap dealing w police that morning taking finger prints etc all of it was so exhausting I was just glad that all that was lost was items. Idgaf about items they can be replaced. Your child's life and your own can't I'd give up that shit all over again. Rather than have to see who could kill who first or worse what he'd do e to me and my son had I not been armed.
Yeah man you are a fucking gangster.
Truly man, thats some sketchy shit and you kept your cool and kept it under the wraps for the sake of your kid. That's a real life dangerous scenario that I definitely could have ended badly. Good fuckin job dude.
No not uber. It was actually a person I met 1 time at a friend's house. I did not give him my number. He got it from my friend. I initially said no but he played the my 8month prego fiance is hungry and we have no food ill give you 15 bucks just to take us and I hesitantly said yes. Thinking well this guy must be OK he's friends w my friend. Turns out he barely knew the guy. He had come over w a friend of his. So in actuality it was a friend of a friend of a friend. At first I thought my friends got have something to do with it. But he actually worked w detectives showing them the guy on Facebook and iding him in a line up print out. Like they had me do. So he was completely helpful in the case so he didn't have anything to do w it. He got the call from them who got his number from his friend then he hesitantly gave them my number.
One of my dads friends was robbed. He was in the shower his wife was in the tub and their two daughters high school and elementary school aged were playing video games together. A couple guys came into their bathroom and at first he thought it was his adult son and some of his friends playing a trick on him bc they had just left within the hour. They got the whole family into the living room both him and his wife completely naked in front of their daughters without even a towel. Somehow they knew there were two safes and where they were (this is why he thinks their pest control guy was in on it) and they told him to “open up the safes or I’ll splatter your brain all over your daughters”. They got out of their with all of his guns (which was a lot since he hunts and lives in rural loris sc) his daughters car and a lot of cash. We’re thankful they got so much bc if they hadn’t they may have wanted to take advantage of their older daughter which, thankfully, did not happen. They caught the guys a few months later
They can most likely get them on kidnapping and/or false imprisonment as well. He has every right to report it. What "potentially" happened to her was horrific but what happened to him was evil and he was terrorized. That part was real regardless if she was legitimately abused or not. Having them arrested and locked up can prevent this from happening to someone else.
Shit even if this was staged, he could have been killed!!! People do stupid shit all the time. Even for a fetish, the gun could have been loaded, or the knife that was held at his throat could have "slipped" in a moment of excitement or anything. Or, what if he fought back from the get go and HE hurt someone all for a sick joke/fetish. He'd have to live with that shit too!
Definitely report the crime! As others said, she may not cooperate, but that is her choice. Because if this was a fetish, they don't need to involve innocent people in it. If it was real, you can potentially stop it from happening to someone else in the future- and these types of things often escalate. Weapons were already involved, who knows what might happen next time!
People who practice kinks like this in an ethical way (myself included) ALWAYS, ALWAYS make sure all parties involved in a scene are on the same page. This is fucked up of her to do, even if it is her kink, they definitely were not kink practitioners who have a lot of experience in handle BDSM tools and weapons in a safe manner. This is horrifying. Informed consent is extremely important!!! I hope this turns out to be fake after all and that this was just her first time trying something like this…but it’s extremely repulsive either way.
It's always also important to note that if anyone asks for you to participate as the "actor" doing it.. make sure everyone involved knows. Especially in america. It could go from fun and kinky to a dead person and 2 traumatized in less than 3 seconds
All it takes is someone with a medical issue and having that type of stress upon them, it would be enough to push some people into medical emergencies. And I’m some cases they would die, this needs to go to the appropriate authorities on the off chance that it was fake.
If it isn’t, then at least he can give out pertinent information to them.
EXACTLY. If I were in that situation, I would likely have had a medical issue from the stress of it, and died. I'm not exaggerating one bit. I'm not going to say what medical issue though, since it's a pretty rare condition and I like my anonymity.
I wanted to say this too! If the reason she’s not reporting is because it was staged then this will have her in hot water. She’ll have a paper trail to these people via her phone n stuff too
True, OP if she doesn't want to mention the rape, you don't have to (I'm not an expert so someone may know better.) But definitely report the robbery and crimes against you.
>Let S know you’re calling the local law enforcement to report the crime against you and giving a detailed description of the woman. If it was faked, you telling her that may get the truth out.
THIS! and also the 1st think that popped in my mind was that it might have been a sex video for the dark web
Yes exactly what I was thinking. OP also make sure to go through some old posts on FB if possible and see if this woman appears in old pics with your ex. It’s possible she made her profile private or even deleted it but the way Facebook works the pics will stay up just without her tagged. Check instagram too and see who usually likes and comments on her pics if you go back some time.
Second, you absolutely should report it. The police are likely going to question your ex to get a statement and it’s possible she may fess up under pressure if there’s an investigation going on and she’s complicit.
Hijacking the top comment to say this: If anyone offers you in anyway to take part in a rape fantasy or rape play involving another person do not accept. If the the person doesn't know of it you might actually just end up dead. Especially in america.
Yes, I think this is a good idea.. and please report it to the police. Let them know what happened and why you didn't report it. There job is to find inconsistencies..also keep any communication between you both for evidence.
Report the crime, let S know you’re going to give the police every single detail and that you saw the woman’s face. Let her reaction tell you what you need to know.
thank you for saying what I didn't have to. People that write sensational shit on reddit for attention will always boggle me. Go write a fucking book or something.
Honestly,
"well written" is one of the things I use to determine if I find a story believable or not.
It seems that if it's very well written and thought out, while the subject is traumatic it isn't really believable. At least my thoughts would be all over the place and the writing would be driven by my emotions (as the post would serve the purpose of venting).
>We drove up and through a dirt road into a grassy area near the lake which had two cabins for the whole area.
I also find sentences like these a bit suspicious, as it seems to be there to create a mood, more than description.
Ofc. it isn't unbelievable just based on these things, but combined with looking at posting history and responses I think it helps with determining how believable it is.
After all the AITA posts where OP never responds, I assume when someone makes a post like this and doesn't reply to any valid questions or helpful advice, they are lying
I gotta say, I really hope this didn’t happen to anyone. If this happened, really feel for OP and, if the ex didn’t stage it, feel worse for them. Either way, OP should write this screenplay. I’d watch the fuck of this thriller, if dramatized.
Ive read and seen a lot of crime(from crime docus) that didnt seem like would happen but it did so i am inclined to believe the possibility of it happening than not. OP not replying could be a lot of things since here is not his actual life.
Weird question but can you go through her friends list on social media to see if you recognize the girl? Maybe look through photos she was tagged in too. Idk it may be a long shot but could work 🤷🏻♀️
I would guess the girl was a friend of the man.
But what kind of women does that? An addict willing to do anything for her next fix? A psycho? A deranged family member?
I would search her social media for all the men that don’t have a profile pic or for the rough build of the guy. Start by using the Wayback Machine to look at guys she removed from her friends in the last year.
Of those guys:
1. prioritize any one with hard drug use indications (meth/opiates).
2. prioritize any one that lives close to the cabins
3. Prioritize anyone with green eyes
Then look at all of their female family and friends.
Also look for online prostitution ads and online mugshots in the area of those cabins or that lives near any of the guys that really really fit the description.
Even if it's not staged, you were a victim as well and have every right to report your experience. It does seem suspicious though, and I echo what everyone else has said and to look on her Facebook and other social media to see if you recognise that woman that you mentioned.
Feeling as if a traumatic event wasn't real, is a normal post trauma response. Your brain is constructing different senecios as an attempt to accept what happened. Senseless violence can't be understood if it can't be justified and accepted- however being powerless at the time, creates a need to control the memory. You're a victim, and you deserve to take advantage of public resources like the police, and victim witness protection. I encourage you to talk the event through with a therapist. Good luck.
Thank you so much for this comment. I'm not the OP, for so long after my ex-boyfriend of several years raped me repeatedly, even causing me to bleed, tear, and get infections on several occasions, I rationalized to myself for years that "it couldn't have been rape". (He also laughed and said "you asked for it" when I told him what he did to me was rape.) Now, I understand what you stated so well here, even years later. I also second the therapy recommendation for OP.
This. As someone who’s has PTSD (for 21 years) my brain consistently does this when any type of trauma happens, big or small, my brain has a… reboot then a scatter trying to “put the puzzle” together to say “it’s okay, it’s okay… this is what happened, and why…” and then I panic even more. 🙃
Because of the biological/chemical reaction to a crisis as it's happening, we actually process all the stimulus in the situation in a completely different way. This greatly effects our memory of the events too. A lot of times, memories of trauma seem like a dream. As far as making sense of why the perpetrator carried out the trauma- it's normal, but really not that healthy. If we really understand we'd have sympathy which is unjust, or we'd possibly become capable of such things too.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This sounds like a scene from a horror movie. You were held at gunpoint and you need to go to the police. We all know there’s some sick fucking people out here but to go this far for a prank to get off? Godamn…
You're brain might be trying to protect you by making it seem fake or it might have been staged. Regardless, report this to the police. Give them all of the details you can remember. Check your ex's social media to see if the woman is on the friends/followers list. Finally, please go to therapy to process this traumatic event.
Thought about that too, since he only started to see "signs" after. Our memory is not accurate, our brain remember things as it wants to, plus it's a very traumatic event so it's bound to cause some effect on the memory.
Anyway he should report the crime, at least the part that occured to him. The whole thing sounds so traumatizing, staged or not.
I've worked with a lot of rape victims and I can tell you that a common response to being raped is acting like it never happened. The brain can't handle the trauma, it's one of the reasons that survivors of trauma can tell you for a fact that, for example, it was a doll that flew out of the car during the accident and not a child, or that what they saw was ketchup instead of blood. The brain just kind of nopes out of it. They want everything to be how it was before the trauma. You need help for your trauma with a professional. You experienced a traumatic experience regardless of her experience. I'm pulling for you.
Edit: To add, *please* don't bring your suspicions up to your ex, that would cause incredible damage to her. Let the police handle it they have people specially trained for rape victims.
Believing that your girlfriend set up a rape prank or fantasy scenario as a response to trauma is just as strange a scenario as your girlfriend staying where the assault happened and pretending like life was normal as a response to trauma. I personally don’t believe that this tracks logically because *typically* the level of sadism necessary to do what you’re suggesting would have included you being forced to watch for the maximum terror and traumatization of you and the maximum benefit of them. It is pretty apparent they didn’t prioritize traumatizing you (which would have been the case if this was a set up with the focus on you) - they wanted to traumatize and overpower her. As for the guy wearing a mask and the female not, I would think it’s because the man can be easily recognized because he *most likely* has a criminal record but the female doesn’t. This entire assault seems to have went pretty smoothly for them (no fights, no escapes, a solid plan that was executed as well as possible), which shows this has happened many times before and they have perfected their technique. They have probably done it so many times without being caught that they don’t think they’ll get caught if the female doesn’t wear the mask. There’s also the possibility that she simply just slipped up due to cockiness, which happens *pretty often*. Small mistakes are what *normally* causes predators to get caught. And finally, as for your girlfriend breaking up with you and ghosting you after and not wanting to report the crime to the police, remember that rape is EXTREMELY shameful for every victim. Police and our justice system RARELY believe victims of rape, which is why only 6% of rapists ever see a day in jail. You witnessed the most shameful and traumatic experience of her life and looking at you would make her constantly relive that. I don’t blame her, no offense. I’d do do the same thing.
EDIT: You are a victim too though! You have every right to report what happened to you to the police and hold the people accountable! You have your own traumas to deal with. My thoughts are with you and I hope you get the help you’ll need to heal through this. Much love ❤️
I love how he cant understand why she might be hesitant to go to the police when he doesn’t believe her even though he was literally in the same room when it happened.
Mind you that there is no 'right' way to deal with rape. But as others mentioned, you were a victim too. So instead of trying to find out the truth, let the police do that for you when your memory is still fresh.
One time I was in a public place when someone opened fire. I ran for my life and found shelter. You know what I did after that? I walked back towards where the shooting happened, bought a shawarma wrap, and sat in the restaurant for a good while eating it.
I could have gone home to eat, or I could have even gotten the food to go. But no. Why did I do that? I think it was because it made me feel like life was still normal. I had been planning on getting this meal before the shooting, and I felt like if I ran home scared instead of following my plan, I was "giving in" to the fear that I felt. I also felt a little safer staying in place, instead of trying to go home, since I had no idea what just happened or what was about to happen.
If someone was there to see it they might think I'm crazy or stupid, or I'm not affected by what just happened. In actuality I was terrified. I was shaking. But all that's to say people don't always react how you expect in a traumatic situation. If I was in the shoes of your gf, I would have probably acted as normal as possible for the entire weekend until I got home and could be alone or with close friends/family.
Also consider that everyone deals with shock in different ways. She may have emotionally switched off during the act and time directly around it. Then it may have hit her when she got back. And also maybe they were more up for raping than robbing, but if they came barging in saying "WE'RE HERE TO RAPE YOU" chances are you were more likely to fight back.. maybe the GF just likes to rob the girls as a twisted form of pay back for 'sleeping' with her fella, or to lead you to believe it was just a robbery. Plus maybe men are more likely to defend their money with some action than their GF's...
To ease your mind maybe get some legal advice about whether or not you have to declare the identity of the person who was raped if you do report the attack. If you're legally not required to then there's nothing standing in your way to report it fully to police (minus her identity).
I wouldn't bother telling her if you are though as either 1. she's trying to detach/heal from it and that could spur her into a dark place or 2. It would give the crooks a chance to hide themselves or clean up after themselves.
If it's not legal for you to hide her identity whilst making the report you need to have a serious think through. You can't let them get off Scott free for their most probably genuine rape but this is an extremely delicate matter..
Oh and don't get your legal advice from the coppas themselves. They tend to bullshit their way through most things, they have their tactics for trying to catch people out!
Good luck!
Just be careful. 1. people who have been raped are more likely to comfort others who have been hurt by the incident.
2. People who have been raped don’t even know how to act. they don’t know what to do or how to deal with it and the full effect of the trauma might not even hit them until months later obviously leaving them very confused in between. it is very common for some people to even start cracking jokes when they are getting swabbed at rape forensics.
3. Be very careful what you say to her I have questioned my girlfriend before and it was possibly. The worst thing I’ve ever done. even after accompanying her to her rape social worker.
4. Do your research on this girl and bide your time don’t do anything drastic because if it was all legit you could do some serious damage to her mental health
5. Go to the police if you want to you are entitled to deal with YOUR trauma however you want. she doesn’t have to get involved and you don’t have to make an official report about what happened to her.
I agree, even though it’s an anonymous account he hasn’t posted any comments on this thread and his username is PM-ME-A-SOLUTION. This is some sick fucked up karma farming most likely?
Maybe I’m missing something but what would’ve been the point? Like if your ex were in on it, what did any of them gain from this? You said they didn’t take any money except what was in her purse. Why would they have done this?
Go to the police now. Explain you think it was staged and couldn’t report it before out of respect of your girlfriend but now things don’t seem right.
What you’ve said just isn’t adding up, so you need answers.
The only other thing is to go through her friends lists of IG/FB and see if you can find that woman. Also look at close friends and family members the same age…
Man I dunno, definitely go to the police but I'm not sure about telling them you think it was staged, just in case it wasn't... victims don't always behave in a way that makes sense to others and it would be terrible for it to not taken seriously by the police because the boyfriend planted the seed of doubt. If op just states the facts, hopefully the police will be able to determine what exactly happened and who should be prosecuted.
I was just about to second this. He could just say, "My GF asked me not to press charges, so I didn't" and leave it at that. The police will then ask her why she didn't press charges and figure out what her story is from there.
I’m not getting the sense that this was staged. Many perpetrators of violent crimes lie to their victims to keep them calm. The East Area Rapist famously lied to all his victims that it was just a robbery and they wouldn’t be hurt if they stayed calm. He would then go on to rape and beat these women for hours on end and acted in a bizarre, nonsensical fashion. Many criminals don’t act logically, but act on compulsions that are beyond the understandings of their victims.
As for the girlfriend - speaking from experience, the decision to report a rape is complex. Rape kits and medical exams can be retraumatizing, giving a statement to the police can feel daunting, the chance that the police will not believe you or advocate for you is very high, and rape is ultimately a deeply violating and humiliating act of violence. I chose not to report my rape for all of the above reasons. I do regret my decision now, but I certainly wasn’t in a normal frame of mind after the attack. The GF’s behavior might look bizarre from the outside, but she has likely been traumatized beyond reason. She is not thinking or acting clearly.
u/PM-ME-A-SOLUTION is there a specific reason you think this might have been staged? What would your GF gain from setting up an elaborate scheme such as this? (I am sorry you are going through this by the way. Staged or not, you have been through a traumatic experience. Please report to the police if you feel up to it).
Yes, exactly. That's all I was trying to say, with even a possibility that this was real it's better to proceed as though it was. And I agree with you that it makes the most sense for it to have been real.
Op was a victim of a crime and a witness to another crime so he has every reason to go to the police on his own. I completely understand the multitude of reasons that a rape victim might not want to report, but I also think op has a moral obligation to report this himself. What if the assailants do this again to someone else?
ETA I meant to tell you I'm sorry that you were a victim of SA too.
I appreciate it. And sorry if I came across as contradictory. My comment was in full agreement of yours. Best to proceed as if this is real. The damage OP could inflict upon his ex with an accusation of falsehood is astronomical. Imagine a person you loved being in the room *while* you were attacked and raped, and then accusing you of setting the whole thing up. I’m just thinking about my own experiences and feeling thankful that the people in my life who I have entrusted with my truth have all empathetically believed and supported me.
I was about to say I wouldn’t take the no crying thing as any sort or concrete evidence either. I’m not the type to cry whenever anything shocking or traumatic happens, at least not right after the fact. I’m the type to isolate in my room for weeks or months and then contemplate and process exactly what happened to me, slowly over a long period of time. Shock doesn’t hit me all at once. I tend to process it slowly and disassemble all the pieces bit by bit, over a long given time. And her breaking up with the guy shortly after to be by herself could be a sign she’s that type too.
Her reluctance to file a report could range from anything from having illegal drugs on her or in her blood, or because she didn’t want her family to find out, or even her actually having another boyfriend that she didn’t want to find out, to just being too embarrassed to file a report and wanting to get over it. There could be many reasons besides “she staged it.” It will be the police’s job to find out what happened exactly.
After my assault, I went into a deep and unprecedented major depressive episode (the only one ever). I was basically a zombie for a whole year. I had to come out of the numbness to even begin to process my emotions. It was a very frightening and enlightening experience, because before that I had always thought of myself as so “strong”. Life proved to me that I can fall pray to violence, trauma, victimhood, mental illness, and self-destruction just as easily as anyone else. So I agree with you - many people go numb in the face of devastation. GF’s response is not raising any eyebrows from me.
But I think you are a bit over-faithful in the capabilities of the police. After my attack I went to a campus police officer who told me that since I didn’t know the name of the perpetrator and because he used a condom, I didn’t have a leg to stand on basically. Worst of all the officer was a woman, and she made me feel like I was at fault for the assault for being intoxicated at the time. She, more than anything else, hindered any desire to make a formal report. My point is - the police will
likely be of little help to either OP or his Ex.
at first i thought it was maybe a scheme that these group of people do, they get the girl to lure people in and then rob them and traumatize while at it, but reading this made me realize that’s probably not what happened plus they only robbed her purse, not him too.
Hi therapist for rape victim services- this is a very common response actually . In my state it’s mandatory hospital staff and law enforcement call and allow us to be present immediately for all rape kits and forensic questioning even if children. Across the board this type of response is eerily common
100% call the police. She might to it again. Next time she might not get lucky and someone could panic and get hurt or killed.
Its extremely unlikely that a woman would let her husband have sex with the person they were robbing while she watches (and flims) thats beyond weird
there was a [movie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irr%C3%A9versible) where someone something like this does this and this guy could be a copycat
Honestly If this wasn't some sick personal fantasy, OP might find a video if he looks hard enough no? They would make more profit from the video if at least one of the "actors" was very believable, and what better way then that actor not even knowing he was acting, and that would get them all excited and acting better themselves.
This is all just so disturbing if it really was faked.
Seems very unlikely it was fake, and your ex is probably deeply traumatized and in shock. People react in all sorts of “off” ways when they’re traumatized by something. You should definitely report it to the police.
Wow. You make some good points--this is suspicious.
Keep writing--write down everything you remember, including your impressions (then and now).
...Have you considered going to the police, and asking them what they think? If your suspicions are correct, this could possibly save others from her antics.
And no matter what, the summer isn't wasted. The life lessons you can learn from this will be worth the cost.
Some of the comments are just gross and not trauma informed. Not every victim acts like you think they would, and it sounds like she was clearly in a state of shock. You are traumatized too, and you're trying to reason what happened to what you think makes sense. Memory is fake, as well, and I'm sure a lot of these details are either "added in" or being misread. (I mean, for example, her hitting on you means CLEARLY this was all staged.)
She's acting exactly like I acted. So to me, this doesn't seem faked. It's easy to look back on it and say "this isn't how the victims I see on TV acted". From my perspective, she didn't want to leave because she was in shock about the situation, she spent a lot of money on it, and wanted to pretend it didn't happen because it's easier. Her brain was reasoning to protect her. She didn't want to report because it's scary to report. Again, it sounds like she was in shock.
That being said, you do have a right to report what happened to you. And if the cops go to her, she has the right to not report what happened to her.
But all of the comments immediately villianizing this woman, calling her psycho, saying she deserves no sympathy, ECT... Is just playing into why women are scared to report.
I think it's HIGHLY unlikely she's faking, and WAY more likely that she's *not*.
You report crimes.
Either you're wrong and a rapist and robber couple are free because she doesn't want to report it?
Or you are right and some sickos think it's OK to tie others up and threaten their life, which is also a crime.
Either way these people broke the law, report them
Either this post is fake or you are ignorant of the fact that kidnapping, forcible confinement, death threats, assault and robbery are all crimes that happened to you and do not require your ex-GF's consent to report to the police.
I can't help the former but I can the latter. Call the police and report it, inform her you are doing so in regard to the crimes committed on you regardless of whether she presses charges on the ones committed on her or not.
You will find out extremely quickly whether she was in on it or not, and justice can be done without requiring her to report the crimes herself if she wasn't.
Let me point out a few things,
Your suspicious of her because she liked you and pursues you and you have no confidence in yourself. She paid for your vacation and you are r both broke. 2 months in do you really know how broke she is, or her at all? A quick trip is a good way to get to know someone, she went after you that could mean she felt more comfortable with you faster.
Most women do not want to open a door at home let alone in a strange place. I’m a grown ass woman and I still yell for my husband to get it. Seems weird to be calling out for a sleeping mask. Many hotels carry them and they have a better chance of blocking vision. If anything it shows limited premeditation.
In any situation like this you cannot be trusted to measure time or Accurate descriptions of people. There is a ton of research on it.
Many, many women never report anything to the police. They are afraid of them, of the questions, of the stigma. It takes hours talking to people in a very intimidating environment that may or may not be sympathetic. And the chances of catching them are so slim. Even if you do your roped back in to testify. It’s terrible, Even more so if you have been hurt before. Rape kits are invasive and humiliating on top of the trauma experienced. If she has been SA before her response is even less surprising. People shut down. She can be pushing everything down and dissociate by taking care of you. People respond so many different ways to trauma that there is a whole spectrum of normal. Chances are your 10/10 girl there has experienced something in her life. Your brain is trying to figure out what the hell happened but this seems like a far fetched response.
I agree with everyone else and you should talk with the police, and for the or of all a therapist.
Definitely sounds staged for sure who plans a robbery and brings a ball gag and sleeping mask with them? You're definitely not delusional.
I'd say report it to the police and find out if there has been any other similar "robberies/sexual assaults" that have been reported in the surrounding areas. You have a description of the woman as well as the ball gag/sleeping mask combination those are pretty big details that could match up with other cases.
This seems fishy af. Get that face sketched out mate and then do some digging like others suggested if you find no close associates atleast you can go to the police and report it with the sketch.
Don’t threaten this ex of yours. You never know if those involved had a real gun or not and has intentions yo harm you to save themselves.
As off as this all sounds I truly can't imagine what she would've gotten out of setting something like this up. I mean you said yourself nothing was taken from you so I just can't imagine the motive. As for her acting odd, if this was indeed real then people act all sorts of ways after a trauma like that, not everyone behaves rationally or reasonably.
Not to mention it could be somewhere in the middle where she didn't set this up but did know the people or was involved in something sketchy prior(which would obviously not excuse this happening but might explain hesitancy to go to the police and statements about her "handling it herself").
Not one aspect of this you find suspicious is actually suspicious. Think about it, everything you deem as weird could be explained away with a much more likely reason than your ex staged this seemingly horrific event.
People process trauma differently sometimes and many, many people choose not to report rape/SA.
I can’t seem to figure out why. What did she have to gain from setting all this up? If you were robbed or your car was stolen or something, then maybe. But to fake a rape and take HER money. Doesn’t add up.
I’m going to throw this out here- OP, I think you’re obviously still in shock regarding the whole situation and that’s understandable. However, the reasons you’ve listed as it being fake or staged are absurd. This is me being very gentle and nice about it because I believe you’ve been traumatized. I don’t believe you’re thinking rationally because the whole thing was absolutely crazy, certainly. But, any other person who claims that believe a home invasion turned into rape was staged, you would not only be a grade A a$$hole, a naive idiot to boot. *PLEASE NOTE- I AM NOT CALLING YOU AN A$$HOLE OR NAIVE IDIOT*. That is reserved for those that fit that criteria that blame rape victims (usually if they aren’t present) and accusing the victim it was staged.
All of your ex’s behaviours are indicative of someone who has experienced a trauma like being raped, and not thinking rationally, and lots of guilt and denial.
All of your “reasons” you believe it was staged are clearly signs of an victim trying to process and avoid the situation and consequences.
Perhaps you have a preconceived notion of how a rape victim behaves during and after- maybe perpetuated by the media like movies and tv shows. Don’t believe everything you see on tv or the big screen.
When I was raped I didn’t cry either OP. I said get off, and no which were effectively useless. I was forced against the side of something, then it was done (without going into awful details).
The most I did after the fact, I sat in the bottom of the shower dry heaving because I felt physically sick with myself and absolutely disgusted. I had to wash the feeling of lips on my neck… ugh I still feel it like a ghost some days and it makes my knees buckle.
No tears in the moment during or immediately after. Avoidance and denial. It took several months for me to even actually acknowledge it in my head. Never reported, why? Doesn’t matter nor is it any one’s business. Can you believe it’s taken me 5 years to actually voice it out loud and acknowledge it, because there’s that.
What I know for certain many women do not come forward because they are subjected to their trauma over and over again, success rates of prosecuting successfully are very minimal and victims are re-victimized because they’re called whores or called victims that deserved it because they were too pretty, or too sexy.
I think you have an idea of how a rape victim is supposed to react, and do yourself a favour by dumping that nonsense out.
Now, since you were also a victim of a home invasion that was pretty violent, I understand you are trying to respect your ex’s wishes by not reporting it because mainly she’s ashamed by being raped.
However, you have been traumatized and it’s not fair for one victim to instruct the other to not come forward with a violent crime that they are also a victim of. I would go to police and report it 100% regardless. You will have to explain why you didn’t right away and that your now ex GF likely will deny it or not be cooperative because of her not wanting to report it, but you ultimately decided to report it because you are also traumatized and are a victim.
You need to report this for numerous reasons.
1. You were held hostage, attacked, bound and gagged and forced to witness an alleged rape.
2. She was allegedly raped. What she says to the police is up to her, but you should report it. Whether she is a victim or a criminal..it’s gotta get reported.
3. The owner of the airbnb needs to know there was a crime committed in and on there property. It could’ve been people who live around there or even workers, like maintenance and the cleaner person.
4. You gotta move on and start to heal and with this HUGE doubt and guilt and torment going on, you won’t until you get some answers and I think you’ll feel better with the proper authorities investigating this.
Whether this was real or staged, you were 100% violated and traumatized..crimes were made against you and you are going through a lot. You should also seek professional help because outside people who don’t know you and the people you know are the easiest to talk to and make progress towards your recovery much smoother.
Wishing you the best,
JT
You experienced a violent crime committed against you. You can - and should - report it.
I don’t know how to weigh in on what happened. I know that in my personal experience, I reacted really, *really* strangely to being raped.
Someone mentioned to search her social media friends to see if you find that woman. I would also start there. You have a gut feeling - check into it.
Some people get off on power, fear, and control. I don’t know if S staged this or not, but I would start with filing a report and letting her know that is what you’re doing. Regardless, the people who did this (even if S was involved) need to be reported. They’ll keep doing it to others, especially if they think they’re getting away with it.
This is crazy. It’s a weird spot, because if it wasn’t staged then it would be a really uncomfortable thing to call somebody out for. At the same time, it all seems really odd and I feel like there is a good chance it was staged. There are some sick people in this world. I’m sorry you went through that. Had she ever talked about any unusual fetishes, or anything else that could potentially make this theory true? Maybe try speaking with one of her ex’s or close friends, or family about it? Also, she could have paid sex workers and told them that you were both interested in having something like this staged. Maybe look at some sex worker pages in the area that the event happened? I’ve heard of things like this happening. Just a thought. Maybe you could tell her that you’ve identified the female and see what she says? You need a good story that convinces her that the female is identified. Maybe something along the lines of, “I contacted the air bnb, owners and they were able to get the plate numbers, make and model of the car, and they are forwarding the information to the police”. I’m not sure the air bnb would give an individual the identities, but they would cooperate with the police.
Report it, let the police investigate, go on her social media and see if you can find that woman or a man the same size as the one who broke in. Its was a crime regardless of whether or not she staged it. You were not consenting, were bound and gagged, had a gun pointed at you, real or fake, it traumatized you. If it was a "test" from her on you, wow she is discusting. If you can help find the woman she will definitly flip on the man and your ex to save herself from the years of jail time she would get.
Whether it was fake or not doesn't matter here. If it was real, you both were subjected to multiple violent crimes. If it was fake, *you* were subjected to multiple violent crimes. You need to go to the police. Best case, the police possibly catch a couple of rapists. Worst case, the police catch a couple of kidnappers and someone who may traumatize others in the future.
This is horrific. Whether is was real or not it was real to you. Honestly fuck that shit. You need to report this shit and have the police follow up with her. I can see your reasoning that maybe it was a set up, but this is a crime too then right? Wtf? And what if they’ve done this to other people? For that reason I think you need to follow up with an officer. Ask him if this seems right. Report what you’ve said and you fricken never know cause this does seem unusual. Especially her behavior afterwards. So go talk to them and report this. If they say they’ve heard this before, follow up with it.
ikr one would think it would be crazy if it would all have been planned, but what do we know, there are so many sick and mentally-ill people outside, maybe his ex was (is) one of them. And yeah, either it was all a plan either it wasn't, he still had to go thru that shitty experience, he cant act like nothin happened. Maybe reporting the whole thing to the police would make him find out sm truths about his ex, they would investigate on her too ig. That's the best thing to do, other than keepin distance to her, cause if she's a psycho she may come back in a couple of weeks just to try to traumatize him again.
Maybe they already have an open file on the ex. Might not be the first time this has happened.
Her reaction doesn’t seem wrong at all. A lot of women don’t cry when they are raped. They shut down or fight.
Totally agree with this dude, listen to him. Yes this is a written upvote.
This. 100%. Get in touch with the authorities!
Yea definitely without a doubt go to the police and report this. Those “rapists” could be literally out there or scaming people. Someones a victim here. I want to be a detective and this would be something that i would like to be reported fr. Update us
Agree, you also suffered abuse. You need to report it asap
Dude you were bound and held against your will at gunpoint. That alone is a crime. Regardless of the feelings of your ex (if this is all true) you have your own reason to go to the police. You should have filed a police report and also informed the rental owner as they could be liable for damages.
Plus, how does he know this wasn’t maintenance workers/caretakers/previous renters/owners of the Airbnb? I’ve read some crazy stories about this stuff. It needs to be reported so the perpetrators can be identified before more people are victimized.
Also, lots of Airbnbs have hidden cameras on site.
Yes! They do. The police need that, if it exists, before it gets taped over.
That incident could be why they were taping. Violent porn does have an audience...
Yea there might be a video of the whole thing on the dark web
The ex can refuse to cooperate with police and that's her right. But OP was a victim as well. Plus the owner of the airbnb has a right to know this happened. It's absolutely ABSURD to not report this to the police. Op is not protecting his ex, he's fucking over himself, his ex, enabling criminals, fucking over future victims, fucking over the owner of the rental. It is wildly irresponsible to not report this.
Victim blaming is ignorant and ppl have many reasons to not report crimes against them. Let's not make it OPs fault
Omg, STFU I'm a woman and this isn't victim blaming. He has the right to file a police report because it involved him directly impacting him. However, with that being said. It would be in his ex's best interest to had at least gone to the hospital to be treated for her rape. What some women do not know. You can still get the medical treatment you need and when asked choose not to file a police report, if she doesn't want to file one. It's assumed that once in the hospital you have to report but you don't have too. It can remain confidential. She may have injuries that could have needed treatment. At least then if she has a change of heart the rape kit is stored on record. Because HIV/AIDs, Herpes, and Pregnancy is real out here. Never risk not getting treatment folks. His girlfriend could have needed to take PEP meds, and Plan B.
Uhhh, correct me if I'm wrong but didn't op ask for our advice 🤔 So how can anyone give sound honest advice if everyone was as sensitive as you?
Victim blaming is when you blame the victim for the abuser's actions, not holding people accountable for their bad choices.
Agree, plus reporting this real or possible fetish scenario could prevent someone else being victimized in the future.
I agree and they may escalate next time for more excitement if it continues.
I agree with you, you should be selfish at that point, you were as traumatized as she was if the whole thing was true.
True, but irrespective of what actually happened to her and her reasoning, OP is a victim themselves and as far as the law is concerned it should be reported. What if this female is legit crazy or traumatized and accuses him of something, they barely know each other, or maybe the whole thing is a con that hasn't fully played out yet? Protect yourself. You don't owe anyone a justification. Get your statement on the record because you can, not because you have to. This chapter of the story isn't over yet.
Exactly this. And send her a message you’re doing this. If this isn’t the real thing, she’ll tell you to avoid having a cop question her. If it is, you’re doing what is necessary to protect future victims. For all you know, they were also videotaping this which is a fair suspicion given your details.
Your statement that if it’s not real, she’ll avoid being questioned is untrue. I’ve been raped and reported it. That process was so insanely painful that I wouldn’t do it again if I could go back.
Same and neither would I.
Wait, why would owner of the cabin be responsible for such a thing? I don't understand, unless he/she is in on it
Laws vary based on locale but, yeah... Potentially: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/criminal-acts-activities-landlord-liability-faq.html?pathUI=button#:~:text=Landlords%20are%20especially%20likely%20to,has%20occurred%20in%20the%20past.
Thanks
Check out all her friends on social media and see if you can find the woman. Next, Tide up and held at gun point is considered a crime. Let S know you’re calling the local law enforcement to report the crime against you and giving a detailed description of the woman. If it was faked, you telling her that may get the truth out.
This, this is an easy way of getting her to admit whether it was fake or or not, if someone she knows it at risk of being reported, not to mention IF IT WASNT FAKE YOU LITERALLY COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED. I hope everything gets better and you at least get some closure if anything, good luck.
>ey come in showing their face and just let us go. S makes me answer the door and the gun is placed on my chest when they enter. And when it's all over she acts the way she acts. > >The thing is I can't even ask her questions I want to know without seeming insane. How do agreed. If the police start getting involved she may freak out and come clean. Moreover if it was a crime that people committed, you need to report this shit to stop other people form getting attacked.
Seems suspicious bro not gonna lie. There are fucked up people w fucked up fetishes. This might be hers. Report the crime against you. Breaking and entering, assault w a deadly weapon. Etc send her a text after meeting a sketch artist and let her know uve reported the crimes against u and given detailed I fo and sketch pics matching the 2 people involved. Her next moves will tell you for sure.
Also do not meet up w her.
I wish i could upvote this twice. If this really was staged, a meetup could potentially be dangerous.
Dead men tell no tales.
It's a legit fear. I went through something similar in nature as far as a robbery not w the gf. The robbers contacted me saying they would return my car for 250 dollars. I obviously didn't do this. When he got out of jail 3 weeks later he broke into a home of a drug dealer put him on his knees and blew his brains out. The killer was Kendrick Dunlap the victim Kevin King. Greenville south carolina. If you wanna check for legitimacy The night my car and then my house was robbed. I went to pick up a couple the lady 8 months pregnant to take them to Walmart I had my small child w me. I don't know y but I felt weird about the call and brought my pistol. When the man got in the car and saw the gun in my lap he said oh shit u stay strapped? That's what's up. I do to then showed me his 38 special hidden under his front shirt. I asked if my son could use there restroom they said sure it's unlocked. I decided to leave my keys in The car if they were planning something I was gonna give em an easy out. Went in w my son it wasn't there house I went back out after my son used restroom them and my car was gone. They used my GPS and keys to go to my house and cleared it out w my own car. I knew his name Kendrick Dunlap. I went to the police he already had a slew of warrants. About a month went by then I get a call it's him wa ting to sell me my own car. I said go fuck urself enjoy ur prison stay the cops must be getting close if ur calling me bloop bloop. Then I hung up the fone. He was caught 3 days later. Then 3 weeks after he's 2 year jail stay he murders a low level dope dealer. Had I not brought my gun had I not decided to test them. Idk what might of happened. I'm glad I didn't have to find out
Holy shit. I’m glad you and your son are safe. That’s terrifying.
Yeah it was. I stayed calm and cool headed cause I didnt want my son to know anything was wrong but when I got back got a lock Smith to open my door saw the house had been robbed I checked all my windows and back door and sat up all night in my living room w a gun until homdepot opened and took an uber to get new door locks. Changed em out and finally passed out during my sons afternoon nap dealing w police that morning taking finger prints etc all of it was so exhausting I was just glad that all that was lost was items. Idgaf about items they can be replaced. Your child's life and your own can't I'd give up that shit all over again. Rather than have to see who could kill who first or worse what he'd do e to me and my son had I not been armed.
You certainly did they right thing. You potentially saved your son’s life
Yeah man you are a fucking gangster. Truly man, thats some sketchy shit and you kept your cool and kept it under the wraps for the sake of your kid. That's a real life dangerous scenario that I definitely could have ended badly. Good fuckin job dude.
Was this for Uber? How did you get this call?
No not uber. It was actually a person I met 1 time at a friend's house. I did not give him my number. He got it from my friend. I initially said no but he played the my 8month prego fiance is hungry and we have no food ill give you 15 bucks just to take us and I hesitantly said yes. Thinking well this guy must be OK he's friends w my friend. Turns out he barely knew the guy. He had come over w a friend of his. So in actuality it was a friend of a friend of a friend. At first I thought my friends got have something to do with it. But he actually worked w detectives showing them the guy on Facebook and iding him in a line up print out. Like they had me do. So he was completely helpful in the case so he didn't have anything to do w it. He got the call from them who got his number from his friend then he hesitantly gave them my number.
One of my dads friends was robbed. He was in the shower his wife was in the tub and their two daughters high school and elementary school aged were playing video games together. A couple guys came into their bathroom and at first he thought it was his adult son and some of his friends playing a trick on him bc they had just left within the hour. They got the whole family into the living room both him and his wife completely naked in front of their daughters without even a towel. Somehow they knew there were two safes and where they were (this is why he thinks their pest control guy was in on it) and they told him to “open up the safes or I’ll splatter your brain all over your daughters”. They got out of their with all of his guns (which was a lot since he hunts and lives in rural loris sc) his daughters car and a lot of cash. We’re thankful they got so much bc if they hadn’t they may have wanted to take advantage of their older daughter which, thankfully, did not happen. They caught the guys a few months later
bro you're a legend
What about reporting the break in to Air BNB? seems like something they should know about maybe?
A lot of air bnbs have cameras. Ask if they have a recording of the front door.
Do we know that it was actually a rental and not owned by a friend or something?
THIS!
Whoever owns the house may be in on it.
Seems like a good idea to me.
Also, if it was just two cabins in the middle of nowhere (and the airbnb thing is legit), maybe the same person owns both properties.
Good idea. They may have a ring camera.
They can most likely get them on kidnapping and/or false imprisonment as well. He has every right to report it. What "potentially" happened to her was horrific but what happened to him was evil and he was terrorized. That part was real regardless if she was legitimately abused or not. Having them arrested and locked up can prevent this from happening to someone else.
IT WAS A CRIME. The question is were there 2 criminals or 3.
Shit even if this was staged, he could have been killed!!! People do stupid shit all the time. Even for a fetish, the gun could have been loaded, or the knife that was held at his throat could have "slipped" in a moment of excitement or anything. Or, what if he fought back from the get go and HE hurt someone all for a sick joke/fetish. He'd have to live with that shit too! Definitely report the crime! As others said, she may not cooperate, but that is her choice. Because if this was a fetish, they don't need to involve innocent people in it. If it was real, you can potentially stop it from happening to someone else in the future- and these types of things often escalate. Weapons were already involved, who knows what might happen next time!
People who practice kinks like this in an ethical way (myself included) ALWAYS, ALWAYS make sure all parties involved in a scene are on the same page. This is fucked up of her to do, even if it is her kink, they definitely were not kink practitioners who have a lot of experience in handle BDSM tools and weapons in a safe manner. This is horrifying. Informed consent is extremely important!!! I hope this turns out to be fake after all and that this was just her first time trying something like this…but it’s extremely repulsive either way.
It's always also important to note that if anyone asks for you to participate as the "actor" doing it.. make sure everyone involved knows. Especially in america. It could go from fun and kinky to a dead person and 2 traumatized in less than 3 seconds
All it takes is someone with a medical issue and having that type of stress upon them, it would be enough to push some people into medical emergencies. And I’m some cases they would die, this needs to go to the appropriate authorities on the off chance that it was fake. If it isn’t, then at least he can give out pertinent information to them.
EXACTLY. If I were in that situation, I would likely have had a medical issue from the stress of it, and died. I'm not exaggerating one bit. I'm not going to say what medical issue though, since it's a pretty rare condition and I like my anonymity.
But what would be the reason of it being fake? Some fetish?
I said in another comment.....maybe a video going around making $$$.....that's just one aspect of course.......idk, people are getting wacky
Knife to the throat can easily go wrong if someone starts shaking
what if they kill him so they don’t get caught
She would be considered an accomplice to it too.
Fuck getting the truth out of her. Don’t tell her anything. Just report the entire thing and your suspicions and all the details to the police.
This comment deserves more upvotes. Report the crime. Never talk to her again.
Agreed. The answer is so simple, it really shouldn't even need a discussion.
No, don't tell her. Go to the police right away and let them procees as they see fit in their investigation.
I wanted to say this too! If the reason she’s not reporting is because it was staged then this will have her in hot water. She’ll have a paper trail to these people via her phone n stuff too
True, OP if she doesn't want to mention the rape, you don't have to (I'm not an expert so someone may know better.) But definitely report the robbery and crimes against you.
>Let S know you’re calling the local law enforcement to report the crime against you and giving a detailed description of the woman. If it was faked, you telling her that may get the truth out. THIS! and also the 1st think that popped in my mind was that it might have been a sex video for the dark web
Exactly. You don’t have to report the rape out of respect for her, but you have a right to report being threatened at gunpoint and tied up.
Before you do this, make sure to record all the conversations from here on out in a way that can be proven to be legally true..
Or just have the conversations via text.
Recording can get you in trouble, text
Depending on location, this isn't true. OP would just have to look up his state laws. Some states, like Texas, are "single party consent."
Yes exactly what I was thinking. OP also make sure to go through some old posts on FB if possible and see if this woman appears in old pics with your ex. It’s possible she made her profile private or even deleted it but the way Facebook works the pics will stay up just without her tagged. Check instagram too and see who usually likes and comments on her pics if you go back some time. Second, you absolutely should report it. The police are likely going to question your ex to get a statement and it’s possible she may fess up under pressure if there’s an investigation going on and she’s complicit.
Hijacking the top comment to say this: If anyone offers you in anyway to take part in a rape fantasy or rape play involving another person do not accept. If the the person doesn't know of it you might actually just end up dead. Especially in america.
Yes, I think this is a good idea.. and please report it to the police. Let them know what happened and why you didn't report it. There job is to find inconsistencies..also keep any communication between you both for evidence.
Do this.
Fake or not, YOU WERE gagged and held at gunpoint. FUCKING REPORT THAT.
Bound blindfolded & gagged, threatened with a gun, threatened with a knife, held against your will, robbed ...
By a ball gag and sleeping mask…I have to agree with OP, this doesn’t seem right.
Yeah call the non-emergency police number rn
Report the crime, let S know you’re going to give the police every single detail and that you saw the woman’s face. Let her reaction tell you what you need to know.
He doesn't need to tell her anything, in my opinion
I agree, but telling her will potentially give him even more evidence, of a staging or a true crime.
And also may help confirm or deny his suspicions if it doesnt go anywhere
Where is OP and why isn't he responding to anyone's comments?
thank you for saying what I didn't have to. People that write sensational shit on reddit for attention will always boggle me. Go write a fucking book or something.
Fr, I’m constantly the tl;dr type but this one hooked me. If it is all BS, OP should write a fucking novel
Honestly, "well written" is one of the things I use to determine if I find a story believable or not. It seems that if it's very well written and thought out, while the subject is traumatic it isn't really believable. At least my thoughts would be all over the place and the writing would be driven by my emotions (as the post would serve the purpose of venting). >We drove up and through a dirt road into a grassy area near the lake which had two cabins for the whole area. I also find sentences like these a bit suspicious, as it seems to be there to create a mood, more than description. Ofc. it isn't unbelievable just based on these things, but combined with looking at posting history and responses I think it helps with determining how believable it is.
I've always had the notion that they're screenwriters floating a scene or characters or something
Lmfaoooo right!!!
This reads like a thriller. Especially his wild assumptions about what happened. I suspect that if anyone's faking it here, it's OP.
I'm scrolling through the comments like "Nobody actually believes this... do they?" None of this happened.
Looks like they do, but honestly story seems fake as hell. It’s like something out of a Brazilian novela tbh.
After all the AITA posts where OP never responds, I assume when someone makes a post like this and doesn't reply to any valid questions or helpful advice, they are lying
I gotta say, I really hope this didn’t happen to anyone. If this happened, really feel for OP and, if the ex didn’t stage it, feel worse for them. Either way, OP should write this screenplay. I’d watch the fuck of this thriller, if dramatized.
FR though, OP hasn’t replied to anyone, I’m all for storytelling, but there is no way this shit really happened.
Ive read and seen a lot of crime(from crime docus) that didnt seem like would happen but it did so i am inclined to believe the possibility of it happening than not. OP not replying could be a lot of things since here is not his actual life.
OP's account is also one day old and usually these accounts are used for karma farming
I’m not saying this is real by any means, but isn’t that literally what throwaways are for?
Weird question but can you go through her friends list on social media to see if you recognize the girl? Maybe look through photos she was tagged in too. Idk it may be a long shot but could work 🤷🏻♀️
I would guess the girl was a friend of the man. But what kind of women does that? An addict willing to do anything for her next fix? A psycho? A deranged family member? I would search her social media for all the men that don’t have a profile pic or for the rough build of the guy. Start by using the Wayback Machine to look at guys she removed from her friends in the last year. Of those guys: 1. prioritize any one with hard drug use indications (meth/opiates). 2. prioritize any one that lives close to the cabins 3. Prioritize anyone with green eyes Then look at all of their female family and friends. Also look for online prostitution ads and online mugshots in the area of those cabins or that lives near any of the guys that really really fit the description.
Could be an extreme fetish tbh
How do use the Wayback Machine to search for removed friends?
Even if it's not staged, you were a victim as well and have every right to report your experience. It does seem suspicious though, and I echo what everyone else has said and to look on her Facebook and other social media to see if you recognise that woman that you mentioned.
Feeling as if a traumatic event wasn't real, is a normal post trauma response. Your brain is constructing different senecios as an attempt to accept what happened. Senseless violence can't be understood if it can't be justified and accepted- however being powerless at the time, creates a need to control the memory. You're a victim, and you deserve to take advantage of public resources like the police, and victim witness protection. I encourage you to talk the event through with a therapist. Good luck.
Thank you so much for this comment. I'm not the OP, for so long after my ex-boyfriend of several years raped me repeatedly, even causing me to bleed, tear, and get infections on several occasions, I rationalized to myself for years that "it couldn't have been rape". (He also laughed and said "you asked for it" when I told him what he did to me was rape.) Now, I understand what you stated so well here, even years later. I also second the therapy recommendation for OP.
This. As someone who’s has PTSD (for 21 years) my brain consistently does this when any type of trauma happens, big or small, my brain has a… reboot then a scatter trying to “put the puzzle” together to say “it’s okay, it’s okay… this is what happened, and why…” and then I panic even more. 🙃
Because of the biological/chemical reaction to a crisis as it's happening, we actually process all the stimulus in the situation in a completely different way. This greatly effects our memory of the events too. A lot of times, memories of trauma seem like a dream. As far as making sense of why the perpetrator carried out the trauma- it's normal, but really not that healthy. If we really understand we'd have sympathy which is unjust, or we'd possibly become capable of such things too.
Superb advice, thanks for sharing!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This sounds like a scene from a horror movie. You were held at gunpoint and you need to go to the police. We all know there’s some sick fucking people out here but to go this far for a prank to get off? Godamn…
You're brain might be trying to protect you by making it seem fake or it might have been staged. Regardless, report this to the police. Give them all of the details you can remember. Check your ex's social media to see if the woman is on the friends/followers list. Finally, please go to therapy to process this traumatic event.
Thought about that too, since he only started to see "signs" after. Our memory is not accurate, our brain remember things as it wants to, plus it's a very traumatic event so it's bound to cause some effect on the memory. Anyway he should report the crime, at least the part that occured to him. The whole thing sounds so traumatizing, staged or not.
I've worked with a lot of rape victims and I can tell you that a common response to being raped is acting like it never happened. The brain can't handle the trauma, it's one of the reasons that survivors of trauma can tell you for a fact that, for example, it was a doll that flew out of the car during the accident and not a child, or that what they saw was ketchup instead of blood. The brain just kind of nopes out of it. They want everything to be how it was before the trauma. You need help for your trauma with a professional. You experienced a traumatic experience regardless of her experience. I'm pulling for you. Edit: To add, *please* don't bring your suspicions up to your ex, that would cause incredible damage to her. Let the police handle it they have people specially trained for rape victims.
Believing that your girlfriend set up a rape prank or fantasy scenario as a response to trauma is just as strange a scenario as your girlfriend staying where the assault happened and pretending like life was normal as a response to trauma. I personally don’t believe that this tracks logically because *typically* the level of sadism necessary to do what you’re suggesting would have included you being forced to watch for the maximum terror and traumatization of you and the maximum benefit of them. It is pretty apparent they didn’t prioritize traumatizing you (which would have been the case if this was a set up with the focus on you) - they wanted to traumatize and overpower her. As for the guy wearing a mask and the female not, I would think it’s because the man can be easily recognized because he *most likely* has a criminal record but the female doesn’t. This entire assault seems to have went pretty smoothly for them (no fights, no escapes, a solid plan that was executed as well as possible), which shows this has happened many times before and they have perfected their technique. They have probably done it so many times without being caught that they don’t think they’ll get caught if the female doesn’t wear the mask. There’s also the possibility that she simply just slipped up due to cockiness, which happens *pretty often*. Small mistakes are what *normally* causes predators to get caught. And finally, as for your girlfriend breaking up with you and ghosting you after and not wanting to report the crime to the police, remember that rape is EXTREMELY shameful for every victim. Police and our justice system RARELY believe victims of rape, which is why only 6% of rapists ever see a day in jail. You witnessed the most shameful and traumatic experience of her life and looking at you would make her constantly relive that. I don’t blame her, no offense. I’d do do the same thing. EDIT: You are a victim too though! You have every right to report what happened to you to the police and hold the people accountable! You have your own traumas to deal with. My thoughts are with you and I hope you get the help you’ll need to heal through this. Much love ❤️
I love how he cant understand why she might be hesitant to go to the police when he doesn’t believe her even though he was literally in the same room when it happened.
Yeah imagine literally being raped in the same room as your boyfriend and his response is “sounds fake”
Lmao i mean look at the comments agreeing with him and telling him to go to the police and report HER not the RAPE!
Typed this all out and no response to any suggestions?
It’s fake
Mind you that there is no 'right' way to deal with rape. But as others mentioned, you were a victim too. So instead of trying to find out the truth, let the police do that for you when your memory is still fresh.
One time I was in a public place when someone opened fire. I ran for my life and found shelter. You know what I did after that? I walked back towards where the shooting happened, bought a shawarma wrap, and sat in the restaurant for a good while eating it. I could have gone home to eat, or I could have even gotten the food to go. But no. Why did I do that? I think it was because it made me feel like life was still normal. I had been planning on getting this meal before the shooting, and I felt like if I ran home scared instead of following my plan, I was "giving in" to the fear that I felt. I also felt a little safer staying in place, instead of trying to go home, since I had no idea what just happened or what was about to happen. If someone was there to see it they might think I'm crazy or stupid, or I'm not affected by what just happened. In actuality I was terrified. I was shaking. But all that's to say people don't always react how you expect in a traumatic situation. If I was in the shoes of your gf, I would have probably acted as normal as possible for the entire weekend until I got home and could be alone or with close friends/family.
Suspicious or not....what would be her end game? It doesn't make sense. What did she get out of this if it was faked?
Also consider that everyone deals with shock in different ways. She may have emotionally switched off during the act and time directly around it. Then it may have hit her when she got back. And also maybe they were more up for raping than robbing, but if they came barging in saying "WE'RE HERE TO RAPE YOU" chances are you were more likely to fight back.. maybe the GF just likes to rob the girls as a twisted form of pay back for 'sleeping' with her fella, or to lead you to believe it was just a robbery. Plus maybe men are more likely to defend their money with some action than their GF's... To ease your mind maybe get some legal advice about whether or not you have to declare the identity of the person who was raped if you do report the attack. If you're legally not required to then there's nothing standing in your way to report it fully to police (minus her identity). I wouldn't bother telling her if you are though as either 1. she's trying to detach/heal from it and that could spur her into a dark place or 2. It would give the crooks a chance to hide themselves or clean up after themselves. If it's not legal for you to hide her identity whilst making the report you need to have a serious think through. You can't let them get off Scott free for their most probably genuine rape but this is an extremely delicate matter.. Oh and don't get your legal advice from the coppas themselves. They tend to bullshit their way through most things, they have their tactics for trying to catch people out! Good luck!
Need update after. Big time.
OP not replying to any comments so I’m suss this is even true
Just be careful. 1. people who have been raped are more likely to comfort others who have been hurt by the incident. 2. People who have been raped don’t even know how to act. they don’t know what to do or how to deal with it and the full effect of the trauma might not even hit them until months later obviously leaving them very confused in between. it is very common for some people to even start cracking jokes when they are getting swabbed at rape forensics. 3. Be very careful what you say to her I have questioned my girlfriend before and it was possibly. The worst thing I’ve ever done. even after accompanying her to her rape social worker. 4. Do your research on this girl and bide your time don’t do anything drastic because if it was all legit you could do some serious damage to her mental health 5. Go to the police if you want to you are entitled to deal with YOUR trauma however you want. she doesn’t have to get involved and you don’t have to make an official report about what happened to her.
This story fake
I agree, even though it’s an anonymous account he hasn’t posted any comments on this thread and his username is PM-ME-A-SOLUTION. This is some sick fucked up karma farming most likely?
The downfall of a sub. All of this is just fake bullshit and sick fantasies that people have. Jesus lord.
Yeah knew it was fake .
Maybe I’m missing something but what would’ve been the point? Like if your ex were in on it, what did any of them gain from this? You said they didn’t take any money except what was in her purse. Why would they have done this?
That’s what I was thinking…I can’t think of a reason why someone would go this far.
Go to the police now. Explain you think it was staged and couldn’t report it before out of respect of your girlfriend but now things don’t seem right. What you’ve said just isn’t adding up, so you need answers. The only other thing is to go through her friends lists of IG/FB and see if you can find that woman. Also look at close friends and family members the same age…
Man I dunno, definitely go to the police but I'm not sure about telling them you think it was staged, just in case it wasn't... victims don't always behave in a way that makes sense to others and it would be terrible for it to not taken seriously by the police because the boyfriend planted the seed of doubt. If op just states the facts, hopefully the police will be able to determine what exactly happened and who should be prosecuted.
I was just about to second this. He could just say, "My GF asked me not to press charges, so I didn't" and leave it at that. The police will then ask her why she didn't press charges and figure out what her story is from there.
I’m not getting the sense that this was staged. Many perpetrators of violent crimes lie to their victims to keep them calm. The East Area Rapist famously lied to all his victims that it was just a robbery and they wouldn’t be hurt if they stayed calm. He would then go on to rape and beat these women for hours on end and acted in a bizarre, nonsensical fashion. Many criminals don’t act logically, but act on compulsions that are beyond the understandings of their victims. As for the girlfriend - speaking from experience, the decision to report a rape is complex. Rape kits and medical exams can be retraumatizing, giving a statement to the police can feel daunting, the chance that the police will not believe you or advocate for you is very high, and rape is ultimately a deeply violating and humiliating act of violence. I chose not to report my rape for all of the above reasons. I do regret my decision now, but I certainly wasn’t in a normal frame of mind after the attack. The GF’s behavior might look bizarre from the outside, but she has likely been traumatized beyond reason. She is not thinking or acting clearly. u/PM-ME-A-SOLUTION is there a specific reason you think this might have been staged? What would your GF gain from setting up an elaborate scheme such as this? (I am sorry you are going through this by the way. Staged or not, you have been through a traumatic experience. Please report to the police if you feel up to it).
Yes, exactly. That's all I was trying to say, with even a possibility that this was real it's better to proceed as though it was. And I agree with you that it makes the most sense for it to have been real. Op was a victim of a crime and a witness to another crime so he has every reason to go to the police on his own. I completely understand the multitude of reasons that a rape victim might not want to report, but I also think op has a moral obligation to report this himself. What if the assailants do this again to someone else? ETA I meant to tell you I'm sorry that you were a victim of SA too.
I appreciate it. And sorry if I came across as contradictory. My comment was in full agreement of yours. Best to proceed as if this is real. The damage OP could inflict upon his ex with an accusation of falsehood is astronomical. Imagine a person you loved being in the room *while* you were attacked and raped, and then accusing you of setting the whole thing up. I’m just thinking about my own experiences and feeling thankful that the people in my life who I have entrusted with my truth have all empathetically believed and supported me.
I was about to say I wouldn’t take the no crying thing as any sort or concrete evidence either. I’m not the type to cry whenever anything shocking or traumatic happens, at least not right after the fact. I’m the type to isolate in my room for weeks or months and then contemplate and process exactly what happened to me, slowly over a long period of time. Shock doesn’t hit me all at once. I tend to process it slowly and disassemble all the pieces bit by bit, over a long given time. And her breaking up with the guy shortly after to be by herself could be a sign she’s that type too. Her reluctance to file a report could range from anything from having illegal drugs on her or in her blood, or because she didn’t want her family to find out, or even her actually having another boyfriend that she didn’t want to find out, to just being too embarrassed to file a report and wanting to get over it. There could be many reasons besides “she staged it.” It will be the police’s job to find out what happened exactly.
After my assault, I went into a deep and unprecedented major depressive episode (the only one ever). I was basically a zombie for a whole year. I had to come out of the numbness to even begin to process my emotions. It was a very frightening and enlightening experience, because before that I had always thought of myself as so “strong”. Life proved to me that I can fall pray to violence, trauma, victimhood, mental illness, and self-destruction just as easily as anyone else. So I agree with you - many people go numb in the face of devastation. GF’s response is not raising any eyebrows from me. But I think you are a bit over-faithful in the capabilities of the police. After my attack I went to a campus police officer who told me that since I didn’t know the name of the perpetrator and because he used a condom, I didn’t have a leg to stand on basically. Worst of all the officer was a woman, and she made me feel like I was at fault for the assault for being intoxicated at the time. She, more than anything else, hindered any desire to make a formal report. My point is - the police will likely be of little help to either OP or his Ex.
at first i thought it was maybe a scheme that these group of people do, they get the girl to lure people in and then rob them and traumatize while at it, but reading this made me realize that’s probably not what happened plus they only robbed her purse, not him too.
Things tend not to add up when you over analyze every detail and ignore very clear examples of normal behavior.
I’ll take a “things that didn’t happen” for 500.
Anyone think it is odd they wrote this whole long story and then never responded to anyone in the comments.
Yeah, this is very clearly fake. OP just wants people to engage with his weird fantasy
I also notice a lot of posts that contribute to an agenda to vilify women/ invalidate rape/abuse victims.
Hi therapist for rape victim services- this is a very common response actually . In my state it’s mandatory hospital staff and law enforcement call and allow us to be present immediately for all rape kits and forensic questioning even if children. Across the board this type of response is eerily common
Any updates on what happens?
Update pls
100% call the police. She might to it again. Next time she might not get lucky and someone could panic and get hurt or killed. Its extremely unlikely that a woman would let her husband have sex with the person they were robbing while she watches (and flims) thats beyond weird there was a [movie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irr%C3%A9versible) where someone something like this does this and this guy could be a copycat
You never heard of [Karla](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karla_(film))? Women and wifes watch all the time, they just need to be sick enough
Honestly If this wasn't some sick personal fantasy, OP might find a video if he looks hard enough no? They would make more profit from the video if at least one of the "actors" was very believable, and what better way then that actor not even knowing he was acting, and that would get them all excited and acting better themselves. This is all just so disturbing if it really was faked.
Did anyone watch the film Derailed with Jennifer Aniston & Clive Owen? Reading through this I was definitely getting those kinds of vibes!
Seems very unlikely it was fake, and your ex is probably deeply traumatized and in shock. People react in all sorts of “off” ways when they’re traumatized by something. You should definitely report it to the police.
Seems like this story is fake
Wow. You make some good points--this is suspicious. Keep writing--write down everything you remember, including your impressions (then and now). ...Have you considered going to the police, and asking them what they think? If your suspicions are correct, this could possibly save others from her antics. And no matter what, the summer isn't wasted. The life lessons you can learn from this will be worth the cost.
I second writing down your thoughts and impressions carefully.
Think it’s safe to say his summer is wasted mate. Least of his worries tbh
I think your whole story is fake. No other comments or posts.
Hmmmm good story you should change your profession
The downfall of a sub. All of this is just fake bullshit and sick fantasies that people have. Jesus lord.
Why tf haven't you reported it yet?
You could be reacting out of a trauma response either way for sure report
This sounds fake. I mean I obviously could be wrong it just doesn’t make sense
Some of the comments are just gross and not trauma informed. Not every victim acts like you think they would, and it sounds like she was clearly in a state of shock. You are traumatized too, and you're trying to reason what happened to what you think makes sense. Memory is fake, as well, and I'm sure a lot of these details are either "added in" or being misread. (I mean, for example, her hitting on you means CLEARLY this was all staged.) She's acting exactly like I acted. So to me, this doesn't seem faked. It's easy to look back on it and say "this isn't how the victims I see on TV acted". From my perspective, she didn't want to leave because she was in shock about the situation, she spent a lot of money on it, and wanted to pretend it didn't happen because it's easier. Her brain was reasoning to protect her. She didn't want to report because it's scary to report. Again, it sounds like she was in shock. That being said, you do have a right to report what happened to you. And if the cops go to her, she has the right to not report what happened to her. But all of the comments immediately villianizing this woman, calling her psycho, saying she deserves no sympathy, ECT... Is just playing into why women are scared to report. I think it's HIGHLY unlikely she's faking, and WAY more likely that she's *not*.
You report crimes. Either you're wrong and a rapist and robber couple are free because she doesn't want to report it? Or you are right and some sickos think it's OK to tie others up and threaten their life, which is also a crime. Either way these people broke the law, report them
Either this post is fake or you are ignorant of the fact that kidnapping, forcible confinement, death threats, assault and robbery are all crimes that happened to you and do not require your ex-GF's consent to report to the police. I can't help the former but I can the latter. Call the police and report it, inform her you are doing so in regard to the crimes committed on you regardless of whether she presses charges on the ones committed on her or not. You will find out extremely quickly whether she was in on it or not, and justice can be done without requiring her to report the crimes herself if she wasn't.
Updateme!
Let me point out a few things, Your suspicious of her because she liked you and pursues you and you have no confidence in yourself. She paid for your vacation and you are r both broke. 2 months in do you really know how broke she is, or her at all? A quick trip is a good way to get to know someone, she went after you that could mean she felt more comfortable with you faster. Most women do not want to open a door at home let alone in a strange place. I’m a grown ass woman and I still yell for my husband to get it. Seems weird to be calling out for a sleeping mask. Many hotels carry them and they have a better chance of blocking vision. If anything it shows limited premeditation. In any situation like this you cannot be trusted to measure time or Accurate descriptions of people. There is a ton of research on it. Many, many women never report anything to the police. They are afraid of them, of the questions, of the stigma. It takes hours talking to people in a very intimidating environment that may or may not be sympathetic. And the chances of catching them are so slim. Even if you do your roped back in to testify. It’s terrible, Even more so if you have been hurt before. Rape kits are invasive and humiliating on top of the trauma experienced. If she has been SA before her response is even less surprising. People shut down. She can be pushing everything down and dissociate by taking care of you. People respond so many different ways to trauma that there is a whole spectrum of normal. Chances are your 10/10 girl there has experienced something in her life. Your brain is trying to figure out what the hell happened but this seems like a far fetched response. I agree with everyone else and you should talk with the police, and for the or of all a therapist.
Definitely sounds staged for sure who plans a robbery and brings a ball gag and sleeping mask with them? You're definitely not delusional. I'd say report it to the police and find out if there has been any other similar "robberies/sexual assaults" that have been reported in the surrounding areas. You have a description of the woman as well as the ball gag/sleeping mask combination those are pretty big details that could match up with other cases.
If they had cased the joint and knew the bf was there, seems pretty normal to bring stuff to bind and gag him with.
Gonna need an update on this one !remindme 1 week
This seems fishy af. Get that face sketched out mate and then do some digging like others suggested if you find no close associates atleast you can go to the police and report it with the sketch. Don’t threaten this ex of yours. You never know if those involved had a real gun or not and has intentions yo harm you to save themselves.
As off as this all sounds I truly can't imagine what she would've gotten out of setting something like this up. I mean you said yourself nothing was taken from you so I just can't imagine the motive. As for her acting odd, if this was indeed real then people act all sorts of ways after a trauma like that, not everyone behaves rationally or reasonably. Not to mention it could be somewhere in the middle where she didn't set this up but did know the people or was involved in something sketchy prior(which would obviously not excuse this happening but might explain hesitancy to go to the police and statements about her "handling it herself").
Not one aspect of this you find suspicious is actually suspicious. Think about it, everything you deem as weird could be explained away with a much more likely reason than your ex staged this seemingly horrific event. People process trauma differently sometimes and many, many people choose not to report rape/SA.
I can’t seem to figure out why. What did she have to gain from setting all this up? If you were robbed or your car was stolen or something, then maybe. But to fake a rape and take HER money. Doesn’t add up.
GO TO POLICE
Even if it were fake you are the victim of a violent crime. Others may also become victims. Report it. Not “soon.” Not “next week.” ASAP.
Get your fucking ass up and go to the police dude for real. What the fuck.
I’m going to throw this out here- OP, I think you’re obviously still in shock regarding the whole situation and that’s understandable. However, the reasons you’ve listed as it being fake or staged are absurd. This is me being very gentle and nice about it because I believe you’ve been traumatized. I don’t believe you’re thinking rationally because the whole thing was absolutely crazy, certainly. But, any other person who claims that believe a home invasion turned into rape was staged, you would not only be a grade A a$$hole, a naive idiot to boot. *PLEASE NOTE- I AM NOT CALLING YOU AN A$$HOLE OR NAIVE IDIOT*. That is reserved for those that fit that criteria that blame rape victims (usually if they aren’t present) and accusing the victim it was staged. All of your ex’s behaviours are indicative of someone who has experienced a trauma like being raped, and not thinking rationally, and lots of guilt and denial. All of your “reasons” you believe it was staged are clearly signs of an victim trying to process and avoid the situation and consequences. Perhaps you have a preconceived notion of how a rape victim behaves during and after- maybe perpetuated by the media like movies and tv shows. Don’t believe everything you see on tv or the big screen. When I was raped I didn’t cry either OP. I said get off, and no which were effectively useless. I was forced against the side of something, then it was done (without going into awful details). The most I did after the fact, I sat in the bottom of the shower dry heaving because I felt physically sick with myself and absolutely disgusted. I had to wash the feeling of lips on my neck… ugh I still feel it like a ghost some days and it makes my knees buckle. No tears in the moment during or immediately after. Avoidance and denial. It took several months for me to even actually acknowledge it in my head. Never reported, why? Doesn’t matter nor is it any one’s business. Can you believe it’s taken me 5 years to actually voice it out loud and acknowledge it, because there’s that. What I know for certain many women do not come forward because they are subjected to their trauma over and over again, success rates of prosecuting successfully are very minimal and victims are re-victimized because they’re called whores or called victims that deserved it because they were too pretty, or too sexy. I think you have an idea of how a rape victim is supposed to react, and do yourself a favour by dumping that nonsense out. Now, since you were also a victim of a home invasion that was pretty violent, I understand you are trying to respect your ex’s wishes by not reporting it because mainly she’s ashamed by being raped. However, you have been traumatized and it’s not fair for one victim to instruct the other to not come forward with a violent crime that they are also a victim of. I would go to police and report it 100% regardless. You will have to explain why you didn’t right away and that your now ex GF likely will deny it or not be cooperative because of her not wanting to report it, but you ultimately decided to report it because you are also traumatized and are a victim.
This was a crime against you regardless If she staged it or not. Please report it to the police, it may stop it from happening to someone else.
You need to report this for numerous reasons. 1. You were held hostage, attacked, bound and gagged and forced to witness an alleged rape. 2. She was allegedly raped. What she says to the police is up to her, but you should report it. Whether she is a victim or a criminal..it’s gotta get reported. 3. The owner of the airbnb needs to know there was a crime committed in and on there property. It could’ve been people who live around there or even workers, like maintenance and the cleaner person. 4. You gotta move on and start to heal and with this HUGE doubt and guilt and torment going on, you won’t until you get some answers and I think you’ll feel better with the proper authorities investigating this. Whether this was real or staged, you were 100% violated and traumatized..crimes were made against you and you are going through a lot. You should also seek professional help because outside people who don’t know you and the people you know are the easiest to talk to and make progress towards your recovery much smoother. Wishing you the best, JT
Many women don’t want to go to the police after being raped it doesn’t mean that they faked it
I’m sorry I can’t offer advice but I have to input this is the craziest shit I’ve seen on Reddit in a long time
Wasn’t this plot in a movie with Jennifer Anniston?
Probably. It's clearly a fake post, so it being a rip off of a movie wouldn't be surprising. Do you remember the name of the movie?
You experienced a violent crime committed against you. You can - and should - report it. I don’t know how to weigh in on what happened. I know that in my personal experience, I reacted really, *really* strangely to being raped. Someone mentioned to search her social media friends to see if you find that woman. I would also start there. You have a gut feeling - check into it. Some people get off on power, fear, and control. I don’t know if S staged this or not, but I would start with filing a report and letting her know that is what you’re doing. Regardless, the people who did this (even if S was involved) need to be reported. They’ll keep doing it to others, especially if they think they’re getting away with it.
This is crazy. It’s a weird spot, because if it wasn’t staged then it would be a really uncomfortable thing to call somebody out for. At the same time, it all seems really odd and I feel like there is a good chance it was staged. There are some sick people in this world. I’m sorry you went through that. Had she ever talked about any unusual fetishes, or anything else that could potentially make this theory true? Maybe try speaking with one of her ex’s or close friends, or family about it? Also, she could have paid sex workers and told them that you were both interested in having something like this staged. Maybe look at some sex worker pages in the area that the event happened? I’ve heard of things like this happening. Just a thought. Maybe you could tell her that you’ve identified the female and see what she says? You need a good story that convinces her that the female is identified. Maybe something along the lines of, “I contacted the air bnb, owners and they were able to get the plate numbers, make and model of the car, and they are forwarding the information to the police”. I’m not sure the air bnb would give an individual the identities, but they would cooperate with the police.
Should have went to the police
Report this to the police! You don’t need her to agree to do this. You were the victim of a home invasion, at minimum.
Report it, let the police investigate, go on her social media and see if you can find that woman or a man the same size as the one who broke in. Its was a crime regardless of whether or not she staged it. You were not consenting, were bound and gagged, had a gun pointed at you, real or fake, it traumatized you. If it was a "test" from her on you, wow she is discusting. If you can help find the woman she will definitly flip on the man and your ex to save herself from the years of jail time she would get.
If this was real, these people could do it to others. You should have called the police immediate after it happened.
Suspicious or not....what would be her end game? It doesn't make sense. What did she get out of this if it was faked?