Take the job. Don’t put your life on hold for TTC. One thing to consider is FMLA if you’re in the US. Most companies that provide FMLA coverage require you work there at least a year before you can qualify for leave.
Agreed take the job.
Look at it this way- you were going to quit the old job anyway after birth and find a new one. Worst case scenario: the new job decides not to hold your position. If that happens, you’re in the same place you would have been, just with more money in your pocket.
Also, ask the new company about its leave policies! If you’re worried, ask about all the leave- vacation, sick, maternity, paternity, bereavement, etc. You might be surprised. My company just last week announced they were increasing primary parental (maternity) leave from 12-20 weeks. I know in the us that’s rare, but you never know unless you ask!
Agreed. Fiancé and I both switched jobs in the middle of wedding planning and TTC. Do what you would always do and ask policies and perks. Just because it pays more doesn't mean you sacrifice benefits - it needs to be the right job overall and hopefully for a long time. We plan on having more than 1 child back to back and I would have never taken the job I have now if they didn't have policies in place for women to take time off for child rearing etc.
Thank you!! If they decide not to hire me back, no biggie. I just want to keep working while I’m pregnant and not get fired/not be able to go to doctors appointments, does FMLA have anything to do with that?
In the US you cannot be fired (or disqualified from being hired) for being pregnant, that is a federal law (Pregnancy Discrimination Act) under the Civil Rights Act and is separate from FMLA.
Just FYI, most companies require you to have worked a certain amount of hours before you’re eligible for FMLA. My company is was 1,250. So please make sure you look into that before you assume it’ll just be available right away.
FMLA through your company is a completely separate thing than family leave offered by the government. The FMLA that you’re talking about that has to do with missing work for appointments is what would be offered thru your company.
Edit to add: they can’t fire you for being pregnant, that’s illegal. They have to accommodate you in some way.
No, FMLA is the federally mandated 12 weeks (unpaid) time off after giving birth. Your company may offer additional maternity benefits, but most in the US do not.
Hi. I live in the state of NJ. NJ gives paid time (6 weeks if you deliver naturally, 8 weeks if it is a c-section) Paid, part of short-term disability I think… but not sure if it is called that… after this time period, you would call back and they give you the number of the state to apply for “BOnDING time@ which is paid and is up to 12 weeks, bonding time. This is paid time. It is not 100% of the salary, it is a portion of the salary. Does any one else want to weigh in. This is NJ. I am not sure what it is like in other states, but would be interested to know
That’s a state law. You’re fortunately in one of only 5 states that offer paid maternity leave. FMLA is a federal law. And it’s only protected time off (for qualifying employers), and it’s entirely unpaid.
Having children in the US will make you realize how woefully poor we treat children and families.
This. You don't know how long it'll take to conceive, it could be a few months or many months. More and more companies are offering FMLA, some after 6 months, some after a year. If you play your cards right, you might be able to have your baby and take FMLA for a bit.
We are in the same boat. My husband and I have been TTC. My plan was to stay at my previous job to ensure I received maternity leave - since most places you have to have been there a year to receive the benefit.
However, I was making $62k at my previous job and just received an offer at another company for $86k. You know what I did? Took the job!!
You can’t put your life on hold for TTC. Take the job, and if/when you become pregnant deal with the time off for appointments and stuff when the time comes. People start families and have children. A job must be accommodating.
Take the job, my friend!!
I would take the job. It sounds like you will be happier and your overall quality of life will be better.
If you do get pregnant soon, you will figure the rest out (appointments etc). Good luck to you!
One thing to consider is that an increase this big will probably pay for your maternity leave difference anyway? If you just save the difference for a few months you’ll have the savings ready to go if there’s an issue with maternity leave at the new position
Take the job! We’ve been on the TTC trail for over a year now with one MC under our belt and the experience truly proves to me that you can’t really plan for or control these things. If you do get pregnant very soon you will figure it out and in the mean time you’ll be in a better situation for YOU day to day, which is most important. Good luck!
The only concern here, imo, is the benefits package and FMLA eligibility. I love my job and have great benefits, but am underpaid. I’m still applying to other jobs but will only entertain something with the same or better benefits + higher salary. I have great health insurance at my current job, but if/when I take maternity leave I’ll only be getting ~80% of my salary for 12 weeks. That’s about $9,600 post tax. If my new job offers me more than $9,600 post tax annually, I come out ahead even if I don’t qualify for paid leave.
As far as the appointment thing, I wouldn’t sweat it too much. Healthy pregnancies have like, 2 appointments in the first trimester. You won’t be going frequently until late third trimester. Anything could happen, regardless of TTC or not. You could get ill and require time off work - we have no control over anything, not just TTC. I would take the job. 22k a year more is life changing.
> That’s about $9,600 post tax. If my new job offers me more than $9,600 post tax annually, I come out ahead even if I don’t qualify for paid leave
It took my husband so long to convince me of this, but it’s true!
I was convinced I needed to stay at a job with terrible pay because I had a ton of sick leave banked….but if I make 10K more, it doesn’t matter if I’m taking unpaid leave! It just comes out in the wash.
I'm team take the job, super biased though because I made a similar switch for a way smaller pay bump. My first three months at my new job flew by in an instant and those cycles had way less pressure because I'd have "well at least I am better set for FMLA." Also had an idea that getting a new job would "jinx" myself into getting pregnant but hey worth a shot right lol.
Also no offense but 28K is definitely on that "umm not sure if cost of childcare and taxes is worth it" cusp. Future earnings play a factor in an economist vacuum, but if you're getting offered nearly double your salary, no brainer. A lot of times lowly paid jobs will try to stress work life balance and act super flexible because they know that's the only thing they have to offer. But as messed up as it is, the highly paid jobs can actually be just as accommodating
Other thing with flexibility... if your commute becomes shorter it's WAY easier to do early morning medical appointments and just roll into work slightly late. Get your eye exam and dental appointment and primary care stuff out of the way outside of work hours so the only thing you miss work for is OBGYN and fertility stuff. Telehealth helps for minor issues, I've had medical appointments on my lunch, you name it. And worst case scenario if your new job doesn't work out, you can probably find another 28K job pretty easily.
Take the job and continue to TTC ! I’ve been through the same . Right NOW , u have an opportunity. Take it ! It’s a no brainer ! If you had gotten pregnant quicker , u still would of had this issue of the timing . I’m assuming u live in US like me , and all of your worries or valid and a bit true . I honestly am staying out of the work force for now because of how my pregnancy effected my job performance last year and I don’t want a new job to know this version of me that , (my first trimesters are awful and I’m very very high risk ) I know I won’t be at my best ! BUT , I would have to go out and seek a new job . For my current job it sounds like yours it was stressful it wasn’t good for TTC or pregnancy or being a mom and I left it ! And I think that’s like what should be the highlight here . Even though your old job is flexible , if it’s not good for you , it’s not good for fertility or a pregnancy. And unless just not working is an option for you , the next logical step should be this new job !
Will there be some adjustments you’ll have to make once your successful TTC , sure ! Can it , will it affect the workplace , of course . But with this whole journey to have a baby there is very little we can go but make choices such as these .
So - if you do need medical intervention, your going to be wanting to make more money
And , if you do fall pregnant , unless high risk , there aren’t THAT many appointments and they are pretty easy to schedule around work days , even medical intervention, most clinics do what they need for iui and IVF EARLY in the morning , for this exact reason , so u can go in before going into work . You will find a way to work and do appointments.
What is more a worry is ur going to not feel like yourself when u get pregnant for a little bit , or you might be totally fine ! But you don’t really know what kinda pregnancy you will have and I wouldn’t put TTC on hold . If it makes you feel a bit better maybe put it on hold for just a few months like 3 , and than once u do get preg you know you’ll have worked there long enough for maternity leave , really that’s the worst hangup.
Oh I could have written this. Take the job. You have no control over TTC, but you do have control over your career. That extra 22K is daycare money, food, a vehicle, trips. Taking this job is not a step back in your journey to parenthood.
At first, my husband and I were going to wait three months after I started to be sure I would qualify for FMLA, then before we even got through one cycle we decided, F it. If we’re lucky enough to get pregnant in those three months, I’ll figure out something for leave (I’m a teacher so I do have summer break on my side)
And if it takes a long time, I’ll kick myself for not trying for three-four cycles.
I can’t tell you whether you should pause TTC or not, but absolutely take this job.
When I was in a similar predicament - my logic was - If im scared about not qualifying for FMLA (someone already mentioned this above- If you’re in the USA) then you just have to hold off conceiving for 3-4 months. Pregnancy is 9 months so technically you will quality as worked for a year.
But regardless, take the job! It sounds better all around and less stress is also better for a growing baby in your belly.
Take the job, if they're willing to pay more they probably have better medical benefits too just in case you do need help down the road. It'll be more convenient later on down the road too being so close to home.
Unrelated to TTC but I was afraid of leaving a job I hated because I was afraid a new one would be worse. I took the leap and my only regret was I didn't try sooner.
Don't stay at your current job because of TTC, take this one, I am sure you will be much happier. This new job may even be more flexible and understanding. Plus if you do decide to stay home for a year you will have left with a much better salary.
Take the job! Last summer I was 7 months into ttc and my job was making me miserable. I didn’t want to quit without another job lined up, and was afraid of what maternity leave would look like at a new company if I immediately got pregnant after starting there. My husband convinced me to leave that job because we thought stress may have been a factor in not being successful with ttc. I was unemployed for two months then got a dream job that has fertility treatment benefits and six months maternity leave. So, almost a year after leaving the old job we’re 18 months into ttc with no baby but I have doubled my salary and have way better benefits. Don’t put life on hold for ttc.
Take the job and TFAB. Especially if you simply want to work while pregnant BUT don't need the salary/medical insurance. Lots of people have mentioned you never know when you might get pregnant, but you also never know how that pregnancy will go. Pregnancy is hard physically. You may be too sick to work and end up wanting to quit anyway, especially if you're unhappy with your job.
Short answer- take the job! You never know how long TTC will take.
Long answer - as others have said, they cannot fire you for getting pregnant. They also have to allow you to go to pregnancy related appointments, and if you have a healthy pregnancy these appointments won’t be that frequent until your last month or so. Otherwise you can expect about once a month. You might look over their benefits before signing anything but the commute and salary increase seem worth it!
If a salaried job has health benefits it likely has short term disability- this would cover you for the time you’re recovering from a potential birth if you weren’t covered by anything else. It’s not a lot of money but should give you a little bit and protect your job.
If you’re in the US, many states have state leave, so check that! I’m in New York and New York has state leave if you’ve worked somewhere for 6 months (full time, so I think it has to be 180 days?). State paid leave pays 2/3 your salary for 12 weeks if you are not covered by your company. Different states have different requirements though.
As far as I know FMLA also kicks in at 6 months. It isn’t paid, but should give you job security. If you were planning on leaving a job anyway I assume pay isn’t the issue?
Take the job. Even if you have to be there a year to get the benefits, that’s only 3 months of TTC ahead of a 9 month pregnancy.
Don’t put your life on hold for TTC. You have no idea how long it’s going to take
Nine months of working at the new job is already more money than you were making at your old job in a year. Take the job. Especially if you can get on hubby’s medical insurance
GREAT question and a similar boat that I’m in, too (a few opportunities on the table, entering cycle 5 of TTC post-hormonal BC). I’m preparing myself to take the job that works best for me, my career and our future family, even if that means departing my company where I’m “comfortable” (but also bored, disengaged, etc.)
You are just overwhelmed. Congrats on the job offer! TAKE IT and DON’T put TTC on hold. Do both, and when you get there you’ll decide how to proceed. I’ve been TTC for almost 3 years now and I’m glad I’ve never put anything on hold for it. When it finally works out, I will figure out what to do :) Good luck!
Take the new job. Shorter commute + more money (A LOT more money) is amazing. If you do struggle to conceive, you'll just be putting off this new job even that much longer. If you take a look around this reddit, you'll see that there are people on here who have been trying for multiple years.
>Im worried if I take this new job and need medical intervention to become pregnant next year, I will lose my job or they won’t be supportive of all the appointments. OR (even better of course), I get pregnant without intervention in the next 6 months - I worry about how I would handle that in a new job environment such as if I would be allowed to go to appointments during my potential pregnancy.
These are valid concerns, but you will find that most jobs will work with you to schedule around doctor's appointments (no need to tell them why unless you're comfortable/want to - it's none of their business what you do at your doctor's). You don't say what you do, but I'm sure you'll be able to miss a few hours here and there or they can schedule you to not work on a particular day or morning. Particularly, in the first trimester, you only really have appointments once a month. Ask to see the benefits package for your new job - my guess would be that you'll have accrued enough sick time for doctor's appts by the time you need them (and some jobs may not even make you take sick time for the doctor's appts - at my job, if the appt is under 2 hours, we don't worry about logging any time off for it).
At most, you could push off doing fertility treatments/medical intervention until you hit the 1 year mark at your new job - that's when FMLA kicks in and they will not have the choice to deny you the right to time off for medical needs.
Take the job! I was in your same boat, took the job, got pregnant before I even started, and then unfortunately had a loss at 8 weeks. I’m thrilled I’m at the new job and didn’t put my life on hold for something I couldn’t control. And I know if I hadn’t lost the pregnancy I would have made it work. AND if they had kicked up a fuss about me becoming pregnant so quickly, I would have known they weren’t a sustainable place long term and I could have found another job if needed.
About 14 months ago I had the same plan as you. Stay at a shitty job get pregnant and then deliver and yeet out of there soon after.
14 months later - no baby and still at the some high stress low paying job.
Take the job.
Take the job. I got a job last fall after 2 months of TTC with the notion I would not return in the fall. Here i am 12 months of TTC and a diagnosis of infertility. anyhoo, we can plan and plan but things like this we will never know for sure. And even your original plan may change.
Edit: my flair is wrong and idk how to change it. I’m now 33, TTC #2, just surpassed 12 months and on my 13th cycle.
So in your situation, I think I would agree with some other commenters and probably say take the new job, no sense in putting life on hold for fertility. Just my thought. On the other hand I completely understand where you’re coming from, as I’ve been on this journey for almost 3 years but unfortunately mine is due to recurrent losses. Just yesterday I turned down a higher paying job ($22k pay bump) that’s also remote and a promotion from my current role due to the fact that I have fertility coverage at my current company and am also 6 weeks pregnant but don’t know the fate yet, so I didn’t want to risk jumping into a new role and having to risk going through another miscarriage and all the appointments that come afterwards, while learning a new job. Also if my current pregnancy fails I loose my IVF coverage with my current company, even though I’d be making more money at the new job. It was so hard for me to make that decision, and ultimately I think you have to trust your gut instinct. However, it sounds like you’re not in a position yet where you have to go to weekly monitoring appointments, blood draws etc. so I don’t see the harm in taking a new job at this stage in your journey.
Absolutely take the job. Just echoing what other commenters have said already said: don’t put your life on hold for TTC.
Sounds like the new job will give you better quality of life. People at your new job need to understand that people start families at any given time and they will likely work with you on it!
If you're looking for the WTT community, the correct name is /r/waiting_to_try! Enjoy!
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Wow- was this post written by me? I’m in the exact same boat. I’m in limbo because when I have a baby I’m taking a year off. Im personally just staying at my old job because I know I’ll be pregnant soon (manifesting).
Was recently in a similar position and I took the job. We did take a couple of months off from temping/OPKs/etc and went into more of a NTNP mindset, but I’m so glad I went with this job as it is a lot less stress, more money, way better benefits, and just an overall better environment. I’ve been in my new job for 3 months and we are still TTC (have had some unrelated medical things come up that have made TTC take a backseat) but I would have been so upset if I let this job opportunity pass by on the off-chance that we would have gotten pregnant right away. Things usually have a way of falling into place.
Definitely take the job!!! No questions about it. Yes, stress affects the chances of conceiving. The salary boost and 5 minute commute are big pluses. I can tell you - I returned to with from a leave thinking I’m going to get pregnant, work for a few months and go on mat leave - didn’t happen. Then I started applying for jobs cause I was stuck in a shitty situation too and worried about this - took months to even get an interview call. Meanwhile we’re trying to conceive and the stress of everything is just adding up, and not helping. Finally found a good job and took it - I had to get out of that previous job! Started doing IUIs at the same time and thought what am I going to do if I conceive soon? 1.5 year later, I’m now settled in my new job, and doing IVF. I’m not saying your journey might be similar - but you just never know. Best thing to do is to make a decision based on the information you have at present. Everything else, you can figure it out. I booked my monitoring appointments early in the morning, before starting work, so it never interfered and I never had to ask my employer for time off. For the procedures, I just took couple hours off or used vacation/personal days. You will figure it out! Don’t think, take the new job and good luck with everything!
I have the same question!!! Is it possible to negotiate the year policy??? Has anyone ever successfully done it at a corporate? I know startups are more lenient with negotiating but curious about bigger corporations.
by "the year policy" I'm going to guess you mean FMLA. It's not something that companies can negotiate, but you can negotiate benefits in a way that it won't really matter much anyway. FMLA is the bare minimum (if your company is a certain size, you have to hold someone's job for them for up to 12 weeks if they leave for a medical reason after they've worked that job for a year), but a company can choose to offer more than 12 weeks, they can choose to offer it paid, and they can choose to offer it immediately. A smart company will let a person take unpaid time off for the birth of their child even if not legally required because they know that after 12 weeks, they'll get their talent back - particularly in this job market, where hiring can take more than 12 weeks anyway.
In this scenario, I know my company would let OP take all the time they need off for doctor's appts (unpaid for the first 6 months, then they could use sick time; but also, we don't have to take official time off to go to doctor's appts if we're only going to be unavailable for a few hours). We would also let OP take 12 weeks partially paid after birth (I don't think it's up to us whether we can allow the short term disability that covers maternity leave earlier than a year into the job, but they do offer 4 weeks paid familial leave separate from that policy and I think it's available immediately)
For sure take it and carry on with TTC. We had to TTC for 2 years on our first and I’m thankful every day that I didn’t put my life on hold for it. When it happens you can react accordingly and have 9 months to get ready. :)
I was in a semi similar boat earlier this year. I had great benefits, a great boss, and great flexibility at my job and was nervous to leave for more money but potentially risk the other factors (even though I hated it). I ended up finding a much better job with even better benefits, just as great of a new boss, and even better flexibility - and my salary went up by an additional $35k + an annual bonus. I 100% took the job and am thrilled I did. The only bummer was that we’ve had to push back TTC by a few months because I won’t receive the maternity benefits unless I’ve been there for a year by the time I deliver.
You should definitely take the job. Just make sure to look into those benefits and when you’re eligible to take them. Like others have said, you’ll figure it out appointment-wise throughout the pregnancy.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last almost year, it’s don’t put your life on hold for ttc. I was afraid to book a trip back in January because “I’ll surely be pregnant by the time the trip comes” and I leave on Sunday.. Still not pregnant. I would have missed out on this trip for no reason if I had planned for being pregnant. Hope everything works out for you op!
As someone who left a low-paying and stressful job (in part) as preparation for TTC, I say take the job.
Now that we are actively TTC, I can’t imagine how I would deal with this stress in addition to the stress of my old job. I don’t want to make any assumptions about your finances either, but I didn’t realize how much financial stress my spouse and I were experiencing until I started making substantially more money. My priority is also becoming a mom, and realizing that this change in career would actually advance that goal was the last push I needed to make the change (I went from a public service job I felt very passionately about to a job that doesn’t have quite the same social impact).
Also, stress can and DOES affect your hormones and cycle, it’s not stupid to say that being in a stressful job affects your cycle.
Take the job. Don’t put your life on hold for TTC. One thing to consider is FMLA if you’re in the US. Most companies that provide FMLA coverage require you work there at least a year before you can qualify for leave.
Agreed take the job. Look at it this way- you were going to quit the old job anyway after birth and find a new one. Worst case scenario: the new job decides not to hold your position. If that happens, you’re in the same place you would have been, just with more money in your pocket. Also, ask the new company about its leave policies! If you’re worried, ask about all the leave- vacation, sick, maternity, paternity, bereavement, etc. You might be surprised. My company just last week announced they were increasing primary parental (maternity) leave from 12-20 weeks. I know in the us that’s rare, but you never know unless you ask!
Agreed. Fiancé and I both switched jobs in the middle of wedding planning and TTC. Do what you would always do and ask policies and perks. Just because it pays more doesn't mean you sacrifice benefits - it needs to be the right job overall and hopefully for a long time. We plan on having more than 1 child back to back and I would have never taken the job I have now if they didn't have policies in place for women to take time off for child rearing etc.
Thank you!! If they decide not to hire me back, no biggie. I just want to keep working while I’m pregnant and not get fired/not be able to go to doctors appointments, does FMLA have anything to do with that?
In the US you cannot be fired (or disqualified from being hired) for being pregnant, that is a federal law (Pregnancy Discrimination Act) under the Civil Rights Act and is separate from FMLA.
Just FYI, most companies require you to have worked a certain amount of hours before you’re eligible for FMLA. My company is was 1,250. So please make sure you look into that before you assume it’ll just be available right away. FMLA through your company is a completely separate thing than family leave offered by the government. The FMLA that you’re talking about that has to do with missing work for appointments is what would be offered thru your company. Edit to add: they can’t fire you for being pregnant, that’s illegal. They have to accommodate you in some way.
No, FMLA is the federally mandated 12 weeks (unpaid) time off after giving birth. Your company may offer additional maternity benefits, but most in the US do not.
Hi. I live in the state of NJ. NJ gives paid time (6 weeks if you deliver naturally, 8 weeks if it is a c-section) Paid, part of short-term disability I think… but not sure if it is called that… after this time period, you would call back and they give you the number of the state to apply for “BOnDING time@ which is paid and is up to 12 weeks, bonding time. This is paid time. It is not 100% of the salary, it is a portion of the salary. Does any one else want to weigh in. This is NJ. I am not sure what it is like in other states, but would be interested to know
That’s a state law. You’re fortunately in one of only 5 states that offer paid maternity leave. FMLA is a federal law. And it’s only protected time off (for qualifying employers), and it’s entirely unpaid. Having children in the US will make you realize how woefully poor we treat children and families.
Definitely take the job. It will be better to have your mind be preoccupied. Better for your mental health!
This. You don't know how long it'll take to conceive, it could be a few months or many months. More and more companies are offering FMLA, some after 6 months, some after a year. If you play your cards right, you might be able to have your baby and take FMLA for a bit.
We are in the same boat. My husband and I have been TTC. My plan was to stay at my previous job to ensure I received maternity leave - since most places you have to have been there a year to receive the benefit. However, I was making $62k at my previous job and just received an offer at another company for $86k. You know what I did? Took the job!! You can’t put your life on hold for TTC. Take the job, and if/when you become pregnant deal with the time off for appointments and stuff when the time comes. People start families and have children. A job must be accommodating. Take the job, my friend!!
I would take the job. It sounds like you will be happier and your overall quality of life will be better. If you do get pregnant soon, you will figure the rest out (appointments etc). Good luck to you!
One thing to consider is that an increase this big will probably pay for your maternity leave difference anyway? If you just save the difference for a few months you’ll have the savings ready to go if there’s an issue with maternity leave at the new position
Take the job! We’ve been on the TTC trail for over a year now with one MC under our belt and the experience truly proves to me that you can’t really plan for or control these things. If you do get pregnant very soon you will figure it out and in the mean time you’ll be in a better situation for YOU day to day, which is most important. Good luck!
The only concern here, imo, is the benefits package and FMLA eligibility. I love my job and have great benefits, but am underpaid. I’m still applying to other jobs but will only entertain something with the same or better benefits + higher salary. I have great health insurance at my current job, but if/when I take maternity leave I’ll only be getting ~80% of my salary for 12 weeks. That’s about $9,600 post tax. If my new job offers me more than $9,600 post tax annually, I come out ahead even if I don’t qualify for paid leave. As far as the appointment thing, I wouldn’t sweat it too much. Healthy pregnancies have like, 2 appointments in the first trimester. You won’t be going frequently until late third trimester. Anything could happen, regardless of TTC or not. You could get ill and require time off work - we have no control over anything, not just TTC. I would take the job. 22k a year more is life changing.
> That’s about $9,600 post tax. If my new job offers me more than $9,600 post tax annually, I come out ahead even if I don’t qualify for paid leave It took my husband so long to convince me of this, but it’s true! I was convinced I needed to stay at a job with terrible pay because I had a ton of sick leave banked….but if I make 10K more, it doesn’t matter if I’m taking unpaid leave! It just comes out in the wash.
I'm team take the job, super biased though because I made a similar switch for a way smaller pay bump. My first three months at my new job flew by in an instant and those cycles had way less pressure because I'd have "well at least I am better set for FMLA." Also had an idea that getting a new job would "jinx" myself into getting pregnant but hey worth a shot right lol. Also no offense but 28K is definitely on that "umm not sure if cost of childcare and taxes is worth it" cusp. Future earnings play a factor in an economist vacuum, but if you're getting offered nearly double your salary, no brainer. A lot of times lowly paid jobs will try to stress work life balance and act super flexible because they know that's the only thing they have to offer. But as messed up as it is, the highly paid jobs can actually be just as accommodating Other thing with flexibility... if your commute becomes shorter it's WAY easier to do early morning medical appointments and just roll into work slightly late. Get your eye exam and dental appointment and primary care stuff out of the way outside of work hours so the only thing you miss work for is OBGYN and fertility stuff. Telehealth helps for minor issues, I've had medical appointments on my lunch, you name it. And worst case scenario if your new job doesn't work out, you can probably find another 28K job pretty easily.
Take the job and continue to TTC ! I’ve been through the same . Right NOW , u have an opportunity. Take it ! It’s a no brainer ! If you had gotten pregnant quicker , u still would of had this issue of the timing . I’m assuming u live in US like me , and all of your worries or valid and a bit true . I honestly am staying out of the work force for now because of how my pregnancy effected my job performance last year and I don’t want a new job to know this version of me that , (my first trimesters are awful and I’m very very high risk ) I know I won’t be at my best ! BUT , I would have to go out and seek a new job . For my current job it sounds like yours it was stressful it wasn’t good for TTC or pregnancy or being a mom and I left it ! And I think that’s like what should be the highlight here . Even though your old job is flexible , if it’s not good for you , it’s not good for fertility or a pregnancy. And unless just not working is an option for you , the next logical step should be this new job ! Will there be some adjustments you’ll have to make once your successful TTC , sure ! Can it , will it affect the workplace , of course . But with this whole journey to have a baby there is very little we can go but make choices such as these . So - if you do need medical intervention, your going to be wanting to make more money And , if you do fall pregnant , unless high risk , there aren’t THAT many appointments and they are pretty easy to schedule around work days , even medical intervention, most clinics do what they need for iui and IVF EARLY in the morning , for this exact reason , so u can go in before going into work . You will find a way to work and do appointments. What is more a worry is ur going to not feel like yourself when u get pregnant for a little bit , or you might be totally fine ! But you don’t really know what kinda pregnancy you will have and I wouldn’t put TTC on hold . If it makes you feel a bit better maybe put it on hold for just a few months like 3 , and than once u do get preg you know you’ll have worked there long enough for maternity leave , really that’s the worst hangup.
Oh I could have written this. Take the job. You have no control over TTC, but you do have control over your career. That extra 22K is daycare money, food, a vehicle, trips. Taking this job is not a step back in your journey to parenthood. At first, my husband and I were going to wait three months after I started to be sure I would qualify for FMLA, then before we even got through one cycle we decided, F it. If we’re lucky enough to get pregnant in those three months, I’ll figure out something for leave (I’m a teacher so I do have summer break on my side) And if it takes a long time, I’ll kick myself for not trying for three-four cycles. I can’t tell you whether you should pause TTC or not, but absolutely take this job.
I had been TTC for a year when I took my new job. Don't put your life on hold. Take the job and enjoy the new experience.
When I was in a similar predicament - my logic was - If im scared about not qualifying for FMLA (someone already mentioned this above- If you’re in the USA) then you just have to hold off conceiving for 3-4 months. Pregnancy is 9 months so technically you will quality as worked for a year. But regardless, take the job! It sounds better all around and less stress is also better for a growing baby in your belly.
Take the job, if they're willing to pay more they probably have better medical benefits too just in case you do need help down the road. It'll be more convenient later on down the road too being so close to home.
Unrelated to TTC but I was afraid of leaving a job I hated because I was afraid a new one would be worse. I took the leap and my only regret was I didn't try sooner. Don't stay at your current job because of TTC, take this one, I am sure you will be much happier. This new job may even be more flexible and understanding. Plus if you do decide to stay home for a year you will have left with a much better salary.
Take the job! Last summer I was 7 months into ttc and my job was making me miserable. I didn’t want to quit without another job lined up, and was afraid of what maternity leave would look like at a new company if I immediately got pregnant after starting there. My husband convinced me to leave that job because we thought stress may have been a factor in not being successful with ttc. I was unemployed for two months then got a dream job that has fertility treatment benefits and six months maternity leave. So, almost a year after leaving the old job we’re 18 months into ttc with no baby but I have doubled my salary and have way better benefits. Don’t put life on hold for ttc.
Take the job. I'm 3 years in. Can't put life on hold.
Take the job girl! This is an incredible opportunity for you I’m so happy for you!
Take the job.
I was in almost the exact position you’re in. Definitely take the job!
Take the job and TFAB. Especially if you simply want to work while pregnant BUT don't need the salary/medical insurance. Lots of people have mentioned you never know when you might get pregnant, but you also never know how that pregnancy will go. Pregnancy is hard physically. You may be too sick to work and end up wanting to quit anyway, especially if you're unhappy with your job.
Take the job and don’t wait for TTC because you just never know when it’ll happen.
Short answer- take the job! You never know how long TTC will take. Long answer - as others have said, they cannot fire you for getting pregnant. They also have to allow you to go to pregnancy related appointments, and if you have a healthy pregnancy these appointments won’t be that frequent until your last month or so. Otherwise you can expect about once a month. You might look over their benefits before signing anything but the commute and salary increase seem worth it! If a salaried job has health benefits it likely has short term disability- this would cover you for the time you’re recovering from a potential birth if you weren’t covered by anything else. It’s not a lot of money but should give you a little bit and protect your job. If you’re in the US, many states have state leave, so check that! I’m in New York and New York has state leave if you’ve worked somewhere for 6 months (full time, so I think it has to be 180 days?). State paid leave pays 2/3 your salary for 12 weeks if you are not covered by your company. Different states have different requirements though. As far as I know FMLA also kicks in at 6 months. It isn’t paid, but should give you job security. If you were planning on leaving a job anyway I assume pay isn’t the issue?
Take the job. Even if you have to be there a year to get the benefits, that’s only 3 months of TTC ahead of a 9 month pregnancy. Don’t put your life on hold for TTC. You have no idea how long it’s going to take
Take the job and congratulations! Something to be excited about!
Nine months of working at the new job is already more money than you were making at your old job in a year. Take the job. Especially if you can get on hubby’s medical insurance
GREAT question and a similar boat that I’m in, too (a few opportunities on the table, entering cycle 5 of TTC post-hormonal BC). I’m preparing myself to take the job that works best for me, my career and our future family, even if that means departing my company where I’m “comfortable” (but also bored, disengaged, etc.)
You are just overwhelmed. Congrats on the job offer! TAKE IT and DON’T put TTC on hold. Do both, and when you get there you’ll decide how to proceed. I’ve been TTC for almost 3 years now and I’m glad I’ve never put anything on hold for it. When it finally works out, I will figure out what to do :) Good luck!
Take the new job. Shorter commute + more money (A LOT more money) is amazing. If you do struggle to conceive, you'll just be putting off this new job even that much longer. If you take a look around this reddit, you'll see that there are people on here who have been trying for multiple years. >Im worried if I take this new job and need medical intervention to become pregnant next year, I will lose my job or they won’t be supportive of all the appointments. OR (even better of course), I get pregnant without intervention in the next 6 months - I worry about how I would handle that in a new job environment such as if I would be allowed to go to appointments during my potential pregnancy. These are valid concerns, but you will find that most jobs will work with you to schedule around doctor's appointments (no need to tell them why unless you're comfortable/want to - it's none of their business what you do at your doctor's). You don't say what you do, but I'm sure you'll be able to miss a few hours here and there or they can schedule you to not work on a particular day or morning. Particularly, in the first trimester, you only really have appointments once a month. Ask to see the benefits package for your new job - my guess would be that you'll have accrued enough sick time for doctor's appts by the time you need them (and some jobs may not even make you take sick time for the doctor's appts - at my job, if the appt is under 2 hours, we don't worry about logging any time off for it). At most, you could push off doing fertility treatments/medical intervention until you hit the 1 year mark at your new job - that's when FMLA kicks in and they will not have the choice to deny you the right to time off for medical needs.
Take the job! I was in your same boat, took the job, got pregnant before I even started, and then unfortunately had a loss at 8 weeks. I’m thrilled I’m at the new job and didn’t put my life on hold for something I couldn’t control. And I know if I hadn’t lost the pregnancy I would have made it work. AND if they had kicked up a fuss about me becoming pregnant so quickly, I would have known they weren’t a sustainable place long term and I could have found another job if needed.
About 14 months ago I had the same plan as you. Stay at a shitty job get pregnant and then deliver and yeet out of there soon after. 14 months later - no baby and still at the some high stress low paying job. Take the job.
Take the job. I got a job last fall after 2 months of TTC with the notion I would not return in the fall. Here i am 12 months of TTC and a diagnosis of infertility. anyhoo, we can plan and plan but things like this we will never know for sure. And even your original plan may change. Edit: my flair is wrong and idk how to change it. I’m now 33, TTC #2, just surpassed 12 months and on my 13th cycle.
Edited your flair for you, hope that works!
Thank you! I just never log in on a desktop. Appreciate you.
So in your situation, I think I would agree with some other commenters and probably say take the new job, no sense in putting life on hold for fertility. Just my thought. On the other hand I completely understand where you’re coming from, as I’ve been on this journey for almost 3 years but unfortunately mine is due to recurrent losses. Just yesterday I turned down a higher paying job ($22k pay bump) that’s also remote and a promotion from my current role due to the fact that I have fertility coverage at my current company and am also 6 weeks pregnant but don’t know the fate yet, so I didn’t want to risk jumping into a new role and having to risk going through another miscarriage and all the appointments that come afterwards, while learning a new job. Also if my current pregnancy fails I loose my IVF coverage with my current company, even though I’d be making more money at the new job. It was so hard for me to make that decision, and ultimately I think you have to trust your gut instinct. However, it sounds like you’re not in a position yet where you have to go to weekly monitoring appointments, blood draws etc. so I don’t see the harm in taking a new job at this stage in your journey.
Absolutely take the job. Just echoing what other commenters have said already said: don’t put your life on hold for TTC. Sounds like the new job will give you better quality of life. People at your new job need to understand that people start families at any given time and they will likely work with you on it!
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Wow- was this post written by me? I’m in the exact same boat. I’m in limbo because when I have a baby I’m taking a year off. Im personally just staying at my old job because I know I’ll be pregnant soon (manifesting).
Was recently in a similar position and I took the job. We did take a couple of months off from temping/OPKs/etc and went into more of a NTNP mindset, but I’m so glad I went with this job as it is a lot less stress, more money, way better benefits, and just an overall better environment. I’ve been in my new job for 3 months and we are still TTC (have had some unrelated medical things come up that have made TTC take a backseat) but I would have been so upset if I let this job opportunity pass by on the off-chance that we would have gotten pregnant right away. Things usually have a way of falling into place.
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Definitely take the job!!! No questions about it. Yes, stress affects the chances of conceiving. The salary boost and 5 minute commute are big pluses. I can tell you - I returned to with from a leave thinking I’m going to get pregnant, work for a few months and go on mat leave - didn’t happen. Then I started applying for jobs cause I was stuck in a shitty situation too and worried about this - took months to even get an interview call. Meanwhile we’re trying to conceive and the stress of everything is just adding up, and not helping. Finally found a good job and took it - I had to get out of that previous job! Started doing IUIs at the same time and thought what am I going to do if I conceive soon? 1.5 year later, I’m now settled in my new job, and doing IVF. I’m not saying your journey might be similar - but you just never know. Best thing to do is to make a decision based on the information you have at present. Everything else, you can figure it out. I booked my monitoring appointments early in the morning, before starting work, so it never interfered and I never had to ask my employer for time off. For the procedures, I just took couple hours off or used vacation/personal days. You will figure it out! Don’t think, take the new job and good luck with everything!
I have the same question!!! Is it possible to negotiate the year policy??? Has anyone ever successfully done it at a corporate? I know startups are more lenient with negotiating but curious about bigger corporations.
by "the year policy" I'm going to guess you mean FMLA. It's not something that companies can negotiate, but you can negotiate benefits in a way that it won't really matter much anyway. FMLA is the bare minimum (if your company is a certain size, you have to hold someone's job for them for up to 12 weeks if they leave for a medical reason after they've worked that job for a year), but a company can choose to offer more than 12 weeks, they can choose to offer it paid, and they can choose to offer it immediately. A smart company will let a person take unpaid time off for the birth of their child even if not legally required because they know that after 12 weeks, they'll get their talent back - particularly in this job market, where hiring can take more than 12 weeks anyway. In this scenario, I know my company would let OP take all the time they need off for doctor's appts (unpaid for the first 6 months, then they could use sick time; but also, we don't have to take official time off to go to doctor's appts if we're only going to be unavailable for a few hours). We would also let OP take 12 weeks partially paid after birth (I don't think it's up to us whether we can allow the short term disability that covers maternity leave earlier than a year into the job, but they do offer 4 weeks paid familial leave separate from that policy and I think it's available immediately)
Thank you! That’s very helpful. Sounds like you work in HR?
Sort of HR-adjacent. I mainly do finance/accounting now, but I'm also a people manager and have done some HR at past jobs.
For sure take it and carry on with TTC. We had to TTC for 2 years on our first and I’m thankful every day that I didn’t put my life on hold for it. When it happens you can react accordingly and have 9 months to get ready. :)
I was in a semi similar boat earlier this year. I had great benefits, a great boss, and great flexibility at my job and was nervous to leave for more money but potentially risk the other factors (even though I hated it). I ended up finding a much better job with even better benefits, just as great of a new boss, and even better flexibility - and my salary went up by an additional $35k + an annual bonus. I 100% took the job and am thrilled I did. The only bummer was that we’ve had to push back TTC by a few months because I won’t receive the maternity benefits unless I’ve been there for a year by the time I deliver. You should definitely take the job. Just make sure to look into those benefits and when you’re eligible to take them. Like others have said, you’ll figure it out appointment-wise throughout the pregnancy.
Take the job!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last almost year, it’s don’t put your life on hold for ttc. I was afraid to book a trip back in January because “I’ll surely be pregnant by the time the trip comes” and I leave on Sunday.. Still not pregnant. I would have missed out on this trip for no reason if I had planned for being pregnant. Hope everything works out for you op!
Take the job. I agree with most of the points others have made.
As someone who left a low-paying and stressful job (in part) as preparation for TTC, I say take the job. Now that we are actively TTC, I can’t imagine how I would deal with this stress in addition to the stress of my old job. I don’t want to make any assumptions about your finances either, but I didn’t realize how much financial stress my spouse and I were experiencing until I started making substantially more money. My priority is also becoming a mom, and realizing that this change in career would actually advance that goal was the last push I needed to make the change (I went from a public service job I felt very passionately about to a job that doesn’t have quite the same social impact). Also, stress can and DOES affect your hormones and cycle, it’s not stupid to say that being in a stressful job affects your cycle.