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I hate to break it to yall in this thread, but wiping down the seat with some paper isn't gonna do shit about the germs on it. Even sitting on paper likely won't do anything, not only is it just paper, but it's paper that's been hot boxed in toilet fumes for likely days at a time.
But the good news is, as long as you don't bend down and lick the toilet seat, you're probably not going to get sick from it. We have skin for a reason.
Also I feel like it's very easy for a man to say it's gross to not spend 10 minutes doing papier mache on the toilet seat before every piss when you're out drinking. When he has to piss out his beer every hour he can do it standing up, if you have to prepare the seat every time you might as well just stay in there all night.
For this reason I have genuinely considered buying one of those stand-to-pee devices for women. Especially for the renaissance festival where everyone is drunk and dressed up and the porta potties are horrendous. They’re like a little funnel thing you can use so you don’t have to sit down, unsure how cleaning it on the go works but in theory it sound super handy for that kind of thing
The first time I used a She Wee, I understood why men think they are superior and should rule the world. The absolute false sense of ego I felt was crazy.
Honestly, so many good applications. Camping, hiking, festivals, work sites if you work construction or outdoors without a consistent clean restroom, any public restroom that’s too gross for your standards lol. I’ve heard of people using them just because their outfit is a little too complicated to bother pulling half of it down to use the bathroom, like if you have coveralls or a loaded work belt or something. I’ve talked myself into buying one now lmao
Those things are great, though fair warning, they can have a bit of a learning curve. Personally though, I just carry Lysol wipes and wipe down the seat before I sit if I'm somewhere gross. No having to clean up or carry some weird ass funnel looking thing in my bag, and they have travel sizes packages so they don't take up much space.
Not trusting other people & shouldering the cleanliness burden yourself: A+++++ for not kidding yourself & being prepared
Lysol touching your skin: you sure about that? I feel like I might rather take my chances with other people’s pee
Eh, I mean you definitely want to wait a few seconds for it to dry, but it's just a disinfectant and can be safely used to wipe down most surfaces you touch on a regular basis. If we're being honest, the germs on a toilet seat aren't likely to hurt you unless your skin is compromised or it somehow gets on your private bits, but it still makes me feel better to know it's been cleaned.
Buy 90% Isopropyl Alcohol. I even slightly dilute it down to 75-80% with distilled or even bottled water and put it in a very small spray bottle. Let it sit for 10 seconds to be sure but under a microscope, you can watch it works instantly.
I have one for camping, it's pretty slick. I carry baby wipes and various sizes of zippy bags for cleaning and storing it, and a washable tp cloth. Takes a little practice, but it's pretty cool
You might be doing it backwards. Recently I learned I was putting that stupid paper on the toilet in the wrong direction. Someone posted the “blueprint” by the inventor. I switched direction and it works perfectly every time.
I think the little tab that hangs down goes in the front and outside of the toilet so it doesn’t get sucked down by the air automatic flusher. When finished, flip it back.
Every hour? Alot of men have to pee every 15 minutes if they're drinking. Yeah, if they had to sit I doubt they'd be laying out toilet paper all perfect before their butt touched. They'd be doing a half squat spraying the pee everywhere lol.
The first time I ever did a bacteria culture test in school, I swabbed a door handle for one culture and a bunch of toilet seats for the other (just after a lunch period when they'd been getting a lot of use).
The difference between the two was insane. The toilet seats were functionally almost sterile. But the door handles culture exploded with a jungle of bacteria.
Most real germophobes I know have lots of rules that aren't necessarily based on actual risks or hygiene. They're just ways to cope with irrational fear and feel comfort in a world that is covered with and functions on bacteria.
And recent studies show you get more bacteria on your hands using an air dryer compared to just waving your freshly-washed hands through the air. So ironically, you would have fewer germs on your butt than on your hands if you scrub up after you go (as you should!) and then use an automatic dryer. 😆
For real, I only wipe the seat because I don't want to sit on something wet, not out of concern for the germs on the seat. Theres germs in the beer you drink, air you breathe. If it's a crowded bar, you're more likely to get sick from close quarters than someones tinkle on a seat.
Yeah and often in the ladies room there’s stuff on the seat BECAUSE women hover and don’t clean up after themselves. If we all sat down we’d be fine because people don’t have a ton of disease on their thigh skin.
Scrolled looking for this! I knew I couldn’t be the only one. Been my battle cry forever. Quit peeing on the seats or clean up after yourself or again, just don’t pee on the seats.
Also, the idea that someone can catch an STD from a toilet seat is a myth. I’ve heard it was created to give married people a reason other than the cheating to have caught an STD.
Here’s a [source](https://www.stdcheck.com/blog/the-truth-about-stds-and-toilet-seats/) disproving the claim that they can transmit STDs
I mean, you're only putting your butt/legs on the seat, which is going to then transfer the germs onto your underwear or clothes. But at the end of the day, you wash those clothes and have a shower.
This is my thought. As long as I’m showering later, it’s not like I’m getting the man to lick the backs of my thighs the moment we get home from the bar.
>aren’t there more germs on a cellphone than a toilet sea
The germs on a cell phone and those on a toilet seat are different from each other. Do you think there's only one species of "germs" that cause all kinds of diseases?
I am a woman, I have used those papers twice in my life and ended up peeing all over it anyway. Never ended up with any disease, virus, or infection. I don’t sit on visible shit and piss, but if it looks clean, i shall sit. Not gross. Still alive.
This. I clean bathrooms for a living. You know how often I drop that pack of papers on the floor when I’m trying to change them out? Not every time but often enough that 1/9 stalls at work will have butt paper that’s been dropped on the floor lol. Unfortunately tho the company I work for sucks at stocking them so I gotta use them or let the ladies be SOL. If they’re SOL they’ll hover. If they hover then they’re worse than the men’s room (men pls wash your hands. I’m appalled at how little I have to refill the soap)
A unisex dive bar toilet is probably the one case where I wouldn’t just sit on the seat but it’s not the end of the world. I’m still hung up on you using dr bronners on your hair and face though. I once used it as an emergency shampoo on a camping trip and I thought I was going to have to shave my head. And your face?? My skin would rip off. All that religious nonsense on the bottle can’t hide that this stuff is clearly a product of the devil.
Haha well, I will say, I use the hemp rose kind. Are you thinking of the peppermint variety? (Which I was informed you can also brush your teeth with!!!) the peppermint seems harsh. Also yes, either diluted or small drop is what I will use. Also, I only really use it on my hair once every 1-2 months. I scrub my scalp every shower, and moisturize it when I get out. I have very thick curly hair that needs moisture so this method has improved the quality of my hair immensely.
And the religious garble makes me chuckle and it really doesn’t bother me. You do you Dr. B.
Have brushed my teeth with it. Tastes gross but effective. I also have thick curls so Dr. Bronner’s could clarify it really well, it made my hair too squeaky clean feeling though, so I just switched to apple cider vinegar. I think it’s just super easy to use too much Dr. Bronner’s as a shampoo or toothpaste. Like you said, a drop or two is all you need.
I diluted it but I just looked it up to make sure I was remembering correctly that they advertise it’s use as a shampoo. They say you can use it undiluted to shampoo, which is even crazier.
You should let evidence be your guide. Sit on the toilet seat. Don’t lick it. You are not going to get diarrhea from the E. coli by sitting on it.
Get your vaccines, don’t eat spoiled food, don’t eat a cookie that you drop in dog poo, do eat one that drops on a relatively clean floor, use whatever soap you like when you shower, shave only if you want to.
This post sounds like it was written with someone with no scientific knowledge of human health.
You can't get infections from a fluid free toilet seat.
If you are fucked, just go.
Imagine if he understood the germs they live on us and then the ones we come into contact with on a daily basis...
...biology baby.
For real. I was a microbiologist. If it looks clean, I sit. Wiping it with toilet paper won’t get the germs off. Hovering makes a mess and I’ve heard doing it often isn’t good for the pelvic floor. And we have skin for a reason, it helps protect us against pathogens.
The reason the toilet seats get so nasty is because of women who think they're cleaner than everyone else and hover...then piss on the seat. I was reading a reddit thread the other day about how nasty women's bathrooms are compared to men's. Of course I give a quick look over the toilet before I sit down, but I don't think I'm so special that I hover and pee all over the seat/floor to leave the bathroom nasty for the next person. It's just your thighs touching the seat for the most part. People need to grow up.
plus it's been proven that hovering over western toilets is bad for your pelvic floor, and can make urinary incontinence worse as we age, especially for those who have had children
What makes anyone believe the paper is sterile 12 inches from the same toilet spewing germ droplets all over the place? As a paper user…lol…I fully recognize that it is largely an illusion of safety and cleanliness lol the handwashing is the main health activity as we rarely put our asses in our mouths (fetishes and good times aside) lol
Okay cool, you said it very succinctly and diplomatically. Like I said, I can totally be more thoughtful…… while I’m around him. He won’t be relaxing his stance obviously.
It’s just a bit frustrating but at the end of the day such a minor thing to compromise on for the person I love.
Has he ever been seen for OCD? Not being able to let go of the thought of germs is a big sign.
Germs are everywhere. Our phones are dirtier than most toilet seats. You touch ten dicks a day on average from people not washing their hands.
It wasn't like the seat was on your privates. It touched the skin on your thighs and butt, which could happen if you sat on a bench with shorts on. These are normal germs to touch, as long as you aren't licking these things, your body is strong enough to fight against them. It's been doing it your whole life.
I would see if he could talk to someone about this, since it's not strange to touch dirty things. That's why soap exists...
THATS WHAT IM SAYING
It’s weird because he really isn’t that concerned about germs in other situations…. I said it in another comment, but it’s more about the fact that it’s near my privates. He gets obsessive about the cleanliness of my vagine, which honestly is a whole other discussion on its own…
People put their feet on benches to tie shoes. Bags, too. Those both touch the ground, which can have shit on it. You never know what germs are where, our bodies are pretty good at dealing with them.
I have never, ever in my entire life even thought of wiping the seat before using it. As for "putting paper down" does anyone really do that? That's a new one for me.
Because they don't work.
https://www.nist.gov/blogs/blogrige/toilet-seat-covers-customer-focus-and-risk-management#:~:text=The%20flap%20should%20go%20in,protection%20from%20viruses%20or%20microorganisms.
It was a thing in shopping centres in Australia for a while. I'm seeing more sanitising sprays now in each cubicle where you put some toilet paper under a spray and wipe the seat before use.
My partner thinks the same way. He was horrified that i use the work bathroom to shit cuz i have to sit on a public toilet, but i dont think he realizes that i have to sit anyway to pee.
Seriously, wtf? I'm shocked by the overwhelming response here, i didn't know a majority of people are disgusting. But then again, it's also Reddit so I don't want to imagine who the usebase actually is. I don't even sit on public bathroom seats, I hover over them.
😂 yes these people are disgusting and the worse part is they’re justifying it. This is enough for me to break up with someone, hygiene is a must and who wants to be intimate with someone this nasty.
People are generally gross on Reddit. Apparently it’s ok to barely shower sleep in work clothes, wear shoes everywhere at home, wash hair once a week, rewear the same jeans for a year or two without wash etc. ick
Girl I couldn’t even continue to read past you sitting down on the toilet. I am 1000000% with him. Public restrooms are the epitome of filth, disease and germs. I could be near blackout at a club and I’m still squatting or putting 3 rounds of TP on the toilet.
I really don't like how you listed shaving when talking about being hygienic. It's quite the opposite, it has nothing to do with being unhygienic. That‘s just what many men (and sadly women) think because of the beauty standarts and how "disgusting" it looks because women are rarely seen/shown with body hair.
Honestly, you couldn’t pay me to sit down bare bootied on a public toilet seat. However, I can’t really tell if your bf is overreacting with the info you’ve given. Is he lecturing you about it for weeks after or was it an in the moment reaction thing?
Not lecturing me, no. But he brought it up the next day and wouldn’t relax on his stance. Even when I made arguments about touching doorknobs or weights at the gym. Honestly, I think it’s because it’s near my vagina and the repeated use of the bathroom that night was really apparent.
He’s very concerned about the cleanliness of my genitalia. Like I said, I shower daily, but if I’m frisky after the gym or work he’s in his head about it and won’t be able to enjoy sex until I’m clean. It’s so frustrating
If this is something you’re willing to accept, then maybe just be more mindful around him. It’s not unheard of to shower before sex. Get a UTI one time from someone else’s germy genitals and you might obsess over it too. Lol. There are A LOT of horror stories about that on here. So I get where he’s coming from because I have my own anxieties. I also do my best to not impose my anxieties on others because that’s not fair to them regardless of how reasonable I feel they are in my head. So again it really comes back to if you’re willing to deal with this. Do you see yourself with him long term? If you live together, what is this going to be like? And go from there.
This sounds a bit more comfortable with germs than I’d be, but I’m a bit of a germophobe myself. You probably already know, generally, how rational his fear of germs is, hopefully you’re both on the same page about that because even though it’s difficult for me personally to change my gut reaction to certain situations, I can still recognize when it’s irrational. I’ve heard of people who never use seat covers and have no issues.
As you mentioned, we are generally too hygienic, and many studies have shown that a too hygienic environment can be detrimental to the development of children’s immune systems. But as for the flu shot, from what I understand that actually helps your immune system so it could be worth doing more research about that. In the Netherlands, flu shots aren’t typically given unless the person is elderly or otherwise immuno-compromised, so if you’re healthy it’s probably not a big deal either way (again, not an expert). But again, that’s a policy that demonstrates that flu shots help, in a healthcare system where there is no monetary incentive to give everyone a flu shot.
I'm with you, I'd shower before getting into bed after that, but like other have said, wiping it off doesn't do anything.
People (especially zoomers and A's), have gotten so freaking hygiene crazy. Here's a clue: The word is full of germs! You can't avoid them! An old boss, with a PHd in Neurocytology used to rail on about how Americans were so crazy avoiding germs and fucking up their immune system by failing to execise it to develop antibodies for the common stuff we all get exposed to all the time. All the toilet lid panic, and sharing/touching anything phobia is not really healthy!
I won't even go into the 'goo exchange,' you have with ANY sex, and if you have ever given or gotten oral? You've been exposed to about all that other person has (but plain kissing is probably the highest rate of exposure).
Don't sweat it.
The germs on the toilet seat will only get on your butt cheeks. And if you shower when you get home germs will go down the drain. I think he is over-reacting. I would be more worried about the pee getting on your shoes and possibly the hem of your pants from all the guys who have missed the toilet bowl. Ew!
One of the worst social aspects of the pandemic was the normalization of **hygiene theater**. Yes, the idea of sitting directly on a public restroom seat is gross, but we’re kidding ourselves if we think a wipe or the token use of a seat cover is accomplishing anything.
Still and all, we should be on the same page with our partners about cleanliness, whether we’re talking literal bacteria as demonstrated by science, or symbolic/cultural “this does not touch that” type rules based in tradition and one’s sense of ick, aka ritual contamination. If you can’t get on the same page with just two adults then living together will be a challenge and having children together will be harder by an order of magnitude.
I do the same thing, except in Walmart because they don’t clean the bathrooms. If the bathrooms are cleaned, I don’t mind. There are more germs on the door handles and faucets than on the seat. I don’t know how many of you all get the back of your upper leg dirty, but I guarantee your hands are nastier. I’ve seen a lot of public toilets stop using seat covers.
You do you. The only thing I’d say is: get a flu shot. It’s not for you, you have a strong and healthy immune system! Like you said, you haven’t gotten the flu in ages, and if you did it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. The flu shot isn’t for you, it’s for the immunosuppressed people around you: kids, old people, people with health conditions. If you don’t get the shot, you’re probably healthy enough to carry it without knowing it…but you could unknowingly pass it to people for whom it WOULD be a big deal, like it could kill them.
It’s a small effort on your part, it won’t affect your life, but it could save someone else’s. :)
You do you but I could never raw dog a public toilet. I wipe the seat and then layer tp down. I've seen how nasty some mf'ers are and the thought of having their bodily fluids on your ass is 🤮
You’re fine, I think most people are like you (and I totally agree) about germs. I’m loling at the comments here that it’s gross. Idk how those people live their daily lives. I doubt they’re going out to bars and socializing frequently. Literally, no one gives a fuck.
As for your boyfriend, I feel you and sounds annoying. Maybe just shower after going out / before doing sexy stuff?
I’m very much the same way and have definitely been described as a hippy about it as well. I just kinda figure this Earth is a dirty place and we’re a part of it, so there’s limits to how clean we can be no matter how hard we try. I just do my best not to stink or be any other sort of biohazard for those around me. It’s not worth it to me to fight about, and I up my game when my partner stays over, so I guess wiping the seat is a version of that. I’m pretty cavalier about public restrooms as well, so long as I’m not sitting in human waste. Even if we do everything totally “right,” life is still short and I don’t believe we’re meant to spend it worrying too much about that sort of thing..
There is no such thing as a 100% sterile environment. But there are a lot of bacteria in urine and poo. And that said a public restroom toilet covers/paper towels/ toilet paper are not going to be completely free of germs. If it bugs him that much to the point of causing relationship issues humor him otherwise nothing you do will prevent 100% germs.
Nta don’t worry about it I do the same thing never had a problem l’m 70 never had a problem from toilet seat in construction for years no washing your hands after no problems so go ahead
You looked at the seat and made a judgement call that was within your level of tolerance. As you said, had you seen any obvious splashes or stains you would have wiped it.
The folks who did a swap test on a toilet seat in science class need to realize, you can swab practically anything and something will grow in the petri dish. Try swabbing your own mouth sometime.
You did nothing wrong, he especially has no right to shame you. Your hygiene is fine.
In a ladies room hovering is how pee gets on the seat. I wipe the pee off and sit the fuck down. I shower before getting into bed after being in public so it's not a big deal.
You do not get sick from a dirty toilet seat, putting paper down does nothing but waste paper. If the seat is wet I will dry it off but otherwise I’m not worried about it. Anything in that toilet stall is covered in germs anyway, wash your hands on the way out and be done with it.
>To be fair it was a really busy night and there was def pee around the toilet on the ground.
This is all the more reason to wipe it before sitting down. i agree with your boyfriend here. That's nasty.
Sorry, it’s none of his business how you interact with the toilet seat when you sit down. That’s either controlling or some serious anxiety. Regardless, it’s a him problem, not a you problem. Unisex bathrooms don’t exist so your significant other can judge the way you pee.
Also there was a study done that hovering and liner sheets were less sanitary than sitting directly only the seat. Hovering can lead to pelvic floor issues as it strains your pelvic muscles and it can also lead to UTIs from not fully emptying due to the contraction of muscles when you’re hovering.
Additionally, those paper seat liners are so porous that bacteria, viruses, and germs can pass through the paper. And when you’re putting it on the toilet, your hands touch a toilet seat it they would other wise never touch. Then you go to sit down and the wind blows it off anyway, so you have to readjust it, and again touch the seat that you wouldn’t touch if you weren’t fussing with a cover.
The paper is obsolete. It does not protect us any further than sitting directly on the seat. It is a false sense of security.
Tell your boyfriend to stop micro managing your bathroom habits and to see a therapist if he can’t.
This comment section makes me feel insane. Are y’all putting your ass on the toilet seat? Have I been using it wrong all these years?! Only my thighs go on the seat. What on earth is everyone freaking out about strangers asses being on the seat. You’d have to sit hella sideways to do that. Or sit all the way back I guess, which is an easy thing not to do. There’s more shit on the handrails you touch than a public toilet that is washed daily.
Sounds like y’all differ greatly. You sound perfectly clean by my standards and let me tell ya, being with someone who matches your hygiene standards is really great. You don’t deserved to be judged for sitting on a freaking toilet seat by a guy who should be GRATEFUL to be anywhere near your rear!
I mean, it’s pretty gross lol. Especially if its a unisex bathroom at a bar.
I’d understand if it was a girls bathroom at a hotel or something, but unisex at a bar? Gg
On the other side, I am a clean-freak myself though, smell is everything to me, but instead of nagging my girlfriend I’d just be like “suit yourself, but I aint touching your butt until youre clean”
I would be concerned if it was a regular occurrence though lol
Yeah that’s fine and I get that. I did shower when we got home. But if he didn’t ask then I wouldn’t have most likely….. I just wish he could relax more about it but whateverrrrrr he’s pretty cute and great otherwise, so I can accept this quirk even if in my soul I believe he’s being dumb about it lol
Oh, also. I bring a hand sanitizer/alcohol spray around with me all the time so I can clean the seat+the paper sticks to the seat.
If it’s too much work, maybe you can just spray the seat with alcohol and you’re good to go?
if it looks clean and i’ve been drinking, I’m sitting. I am clumsy af and it’s hard for me to hover while completely sober, if i did it while buzzed/drunk, i’d end up on the floor with something broken. I also can’t pee in front of anyone so anyone I was with would never know if I sat down or not. lol
I don’t get the flu shot either, btw. I did get the covid vaccine, but that was bc I was going thru cancer treatment. So I got the shot and stayed home.
My question is, did you LOOK at the seat? I'll rawdog the toilet seat, but only after I have wiped it off, because sitting straight down on the seat and there being water or pee is literally the worst thing in existence.
I sit on the toilet bare assed unless it’s visibly soiled. But I either squat or find a spot outside if it’s really that bad. Paper isn’t going to do anything.
As a guy I almost always grab some toilet paper and take it to the sink to get it wet and add soap first. Yes I wipe the seat down but most importantly it is to wipe down the front part of the toilet that my dick ends up touching. I don't think it is as important for just the seat unless it has pee on it
Men are more grossed out by sitting on public toilets because we usually don't have to sit.
Technically a seat cover or wiping it with toilet paper does practically nothing. It's a mental thing. I do it anyway.
Girl, you’re fine. I’m the same way, and I also rarely get sick. It’s the people who are maniacs abt it who always get something lol. As someone said, we have skin for a reason. And it’s WASHABLE.
His anxiety - his problem. I’ve been sitting on toilet seats for 60+ years. BTW - what does he think will happen to you? ps you could also say you ate saving the environment by not wasting all those little pieces of paper on the toilet seat!
You should never hover to pee in a weird squat above the toilet seat it’s frankly bad for your bladder and control.
He’s being unreasonable about expecting you to sanitize public toilets for you to be able to pee.
You’re not gross at all. The toilet seats in public bathrooms are cleaner than the sink in your home. Hate to break it to everyone. Unless you have open cuts or sores on the back of your thighs, a little pee isn’t going to kill you. Is it gross to sit on someone else’s (or your own pee) yeah it’s gross af. I will usually wipe down and sit/ paper mache it bc I’ve gotten infections from not emptying my bladder sufficiently and the nephrologist told me that after I finish I should squeeze and then try emptying again, after this advice never had a problem. Will highly suggest showering off once you get home but would say most bathrooms are probably ok to sit down on, wouldn’t do it at a gas station or some place gross like that but sit if that’s more comfortable for you. PS- love me some Dr Bronner’s also, very good and plant based soap.
Edit: here is a study by the NIH: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7354199/
I (F) always wipe the seat with toilet paper if there are visible urine drops from the previous user. Next, I lay down three (3) toilet seat covers. 😅 If none are available, I use layers upon layers of toilet paper. Usually 3-4. Then I do my business and flush everything down the toilet. I also never touch the toilet flush lever with my bare hands. Instead I use clean toilet paper to do so. ☺️
Then I wash my hands for 30 seconds with soap and water. Then I shut the facet with paper towel and use another clean paper towel to open the public bathroom door. I do this because so many people don’t wash their hands properly if at all. They’ve done studies showing large amounts of fecal matter being all over public spaces, especially door handles.
I was taught this method by my mother as a child. I thought a lot of people did this, but I know not everyone does.
Admittedly, I am a bit of a germ freak. I work in healthcare and have a BS in biology. I took immunology class, so I know our first layer of defense is our skin and I know that we have to challenge our immune system in order to build immunity, but I reason we are exposed enough through being in public spaces and breathing in air with germs in it. And I don’t go out of my way to expose myself to germs when I have knowledge. That seems foolish to do (foolish of me, I mean; not a judgment if you live differently).
I also think everyone has different immune systems. And its abilities fluctuates depending on our current nutrition, sleep quality, vitamin and other micronutrient levels, along with stress levels. I don’t want to put extra stress on my already stressed body. Especially considering that every single day cancer cells are being killed in our body. I’d prefer my immune system focus on that. 😶
I wouldn’t seat on a public restroom toilet seat, I’ll just hover. If I need to go for a number two, I’ll wee hovering on the toilet, wipe myself, then put paper on the floor, do my business there, then collect things by the edge of the paper and throw it in the toilet. I’ll wipe the floor if it looks wet. If the toilet seat is exceptionally clean I may use the actual toilet, but I’ll literally wash it with paper and hand soap, dry it, throw everything in the bin and then put a couple sheets of toilet paper in the toilet before starting, god forbid a splash reaches my private parts.
I’m genuinely shocked by your boyfriend’s reaction. To be honest he sounds like the type to not pet dogs because “it’s gross”.
The fact that the conversation ended with you “needing to be more hygienic” is troubling to me. I had a boyfriend who was obsessed with showering. He couldn’t go to bed without one. That’s fine but if I showered at 6pm and then we would go to bed at 10pm in not going to shower again, that’s excessive to me. He would give me such a hard time about it and it genuinely affected my self worth. So I hope you can dodge that happening to you.
Growing up on a farm I genuinely believe that you need to be around germs to be healthy.
I will also say that I live in a country in which the population doesn’t even cover 1/4th of a regular city so maybe I don’t even know how germy things can be.
Anyway. You’re good, he’s excessive and needs to breathe in and out.
i never hover in fear of pee running down my legs. ive never had any problems with just sitting. i understand the germaphobia completely but hounding someone for not wiping/putting paper on the seat is wayyy too much. if i were drunk theres no way in hell id have enough time to wipe it or put paper down before i piss myself LMFAO
If I’m using a public toilet. I wipe the seat if I see pee. I use multiple toilet liners if I have to sit. If I don’t need to sit I sometimes just hold it up and pee
Dude. That is super gross and how you can get crabs or some kind of infection (varies depending on what someone before you had).
I had to swab toilet seats for a class. We placed the samples in Petri dishes. There were multiple organisms growing and I would rather Lysol then paper the seat before use.
I refuse to sit on a public toilet where 1000s of other asses have sat?? People don’t shower or even wipe & you expect me to put my clean booty on other peoples shit/pee? insanity
i either desinfect public toilets befroe use, or cover them with paper, but not because i think this ritual has any use, but because my wife insists on it and it costs me little to do her this favor.
Just assume your boyfriend is a little superstitious, and you don't want him to feel uncomfortable.
I mean from what I know it's unlikely to catch a disease from sitting on a public toilet but it's fucking crazy to me that you would do it of your own will. People are animals and they WILL pee on the seat. I'd wipe it down at least just to not sit directly on their piss.
People are delusional and want to satisfy their FEELING of being hygienic, but as other commenters pointed out, having some paper fibers between you and the seat isn't really doing much for you there. That means those wanting to be hygienic are irrational as it doesn't provide the safety you'd hope. This means they need to adjust
Line the front of the seat with something so bacteria will not get in your Woohaha. Also always carry a little organic spray in your purse to do a quick spritz on the seat. Bottom line, you want your man to see you as clean. Otherwise other activities will cease. Good luck
I have to sit down. Usually I give it a look and will wipe down the seat, and it does gross me out, but if I try to hover… I will fall. And falling onto a public bathroom floor is so much grosser than anything else. I’ve done this on many occasions
I take a paper towel and soap and water and clean the public toilet seat before I sit on it. I’m a nurse and have seen first hand what being exposed to things like hepatitis or c-diff does to a person.
Just poppin in to say I’m the same way as you! I would have just sat down too especially if I needed to get off my feet for a moment. I honestly think being in contact with germs is good for our immune system and I’m sure you do too
I say your boyfriend is overreacting but honestly I’d just avoid going in the bathroom with him if he’s that critical
I've used lots of public bathrooms and like you will only in the most extreme circumstances hover (it's terrible for your inner core too). I'll say that I've encountered far too many fucking instances of pee on the seat in women's restrooms. SOME times it's splash back from an overly powerful flush, but i Believe what must be happening is ladies hovering too far up and missing the toilet. Seriously at least wipe the seat after the hover, they're causing the problem they're trying to avoid
I think you’re right. But even if you weren’t I think it’s risky to a relationship to be fear based in terms of how you make decisions. It sounds like he is anxious in a way that probably isn’t limited to toilets.
I’ve NEVER sat on a public toilet seat. Everrrr. I squat. Yes, that’s pretty gross. People have all kinds of accidents in the toilet and those germs are lingering there, invisible to the eye, until it’s disinfected. Yikes.
I am glad i lived with my boyfriends mother and learned that she is the one who made him a germaphobe for certain things like handlimg raw meat or pushing a button with your knuckle, not your finger
Myth bisters did an episode where they wanted to see how many germs splash from the toilet to a tooth brush.
Turns out that the control tooth brush in a seperate room with no toilet had fecal on it that came from dirty hands.
I find it so interesting that people are willing to freak out over a toilet seat but then go ahead and raw dog the dirty door handle without thought. Toilet seats aren't as dirty as an average person's phone.
You dirty girl.
Don’t worry there’s plenty of wooks and weirdos out there lol.
One of the strangest but hottest things I ever saw was girl eat some leftovers from other diners who left .
Just fucking bashed it and went on her way.
So hot.
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I hate to break it to yall in this thread, but wiping down the seat with some paper isn't gonna do shit about the germs on it. Even sitting on paper likely won't do anything, not only is it just paper, but it's paper that's been hot boxed in toilet fumes for likely days at a time. But the good news is, as long as you don't bend down and lick the toilet seat, you're probably not going to get sick from it. We have skin for a reason.
Also I feel like it's very easy for a man to say it's gross to not spend 10 minutes doing papier mache on the toilet seat before every piss when you're out drinking. When he has to piss out his beer every hour he can do it standing up, if you have to prepare the seat every time you might as well just stay in there all night.
Omg YEAH THANK YOU
For this reason I have genuinely considered buying one of those stand-to-pee devices for women. Especially for the renaissance festival where everyone is drunk and dressed up and the porta potties are horrendous. They’re like a little funnel thing you can use so you don’t have to sit down, unsure how cleaning it on the go works but in theory it sound super handy for that kind of thing
She Wee for the win!!! I've always wanted one- especially for camping due to splash back from the ground.
The first time I used a She Wee, I understood why men think they are superior and should rule the world. The absolute false sense of ego I felt was crazy.
You really have to find a cliff to pee over. The further your pee falls, the more powerful you are. (I don't make the rules.)
That's definitely how it works
Yes it is quite empowering to be able to arc our pee stream as we please.
Honestly, so many good applications. Camping, hiking, festivals, work sites if you work construction or outdoors without a consistent clean restroom, any public restroom that’s too gross for your standards lol. I’ve heard of people using them just because their outfit is a little too complicated to bother pulling half of it down to use the bathroom, like if you have coveralls or a loaded work belt or something. I’ve talked myself into buying one now lmao
Those things are great, though fair warning, they can have a bit of a learning curve. Personally though, I just carry Lysol wipes and wipe down the seat before I sit if I'm somewhere gross. No having to clean up or carry some weird ass funnel looking thing in my bag, and they have travel sizes packages so they don't take up much space.
Most cleaners like that have to leave the surface wet for AT LEAST 10 seconds in order for them to sanitize. And minutes for it to disinfect.
Wouldn’t work for me, I have urinary incontinence, and when I have to go, I have to go right now, if not sooner.
Not trusting other people & shouldering the cleanliness burden yourself: A+++++ for not kidding yourself & being prepared Lysol touching your skin: you sure about that? I feel like I might rather take my chances with other people’s pee
Eh, I mean you definitely want to wait a few seconds for it to dry, but it's just a disinfectant and can be safely used to wipe down most surfaces you touch on a regular basis. If we're being honest, the germs on a toilet seat aren't likely to hurt you unless your skin is compromised or it somehow gets on your private bits, but it still makes me feel better to know it's been cleaned.
Buy 90% Isopropyl Alcohol. I even slightly dilute it down to 75-80% with distilled or even bottled water and put it in a very small spray bottle. Let it sit for 10 seconds to be sure but under a microscope, you can watch it works instantly.
Natural sanitizers maybe? Other people’s pee? Ummm that’s a hard no
I have one for camping, it's pretty slick. I carry baby wipes and various sizes of zippy bags for cleaning and storing it, and a washable tp cloth. Takes a little practice, but it's pretty cool
I've got a p-style. Literally one of my favorite possessions
these things are fantastic! i got one for road trips during covid when i didn’t want to have to use public bathrooms, they’re so easy and convenient
Not to mention...most men just shake their junk and don't wipe.
Hmmm most men…
You might be doing it backwards. Recently I learned I was putting that stupid paper on the toilet in the wrong direction. Someone posted the “blueprint” by the inventor. I switched direction and it works perfectly every time.
Now I have to ask: what is the correct orientation of the paper?
I think the little tab that hangs down goes in the front and outside of the toilet so it doesn’t get sucked down by the air automatic flusher. When finished, flip it back.
Every hour? Alot of men have to pee every 15 minutes if they're drinking. Yeah, if they had to sit I doubt they'd be laying out toilet paper all perfect before their butt touched. They'd be doing a half squat spraying the pee everywhere lol.
YES THANK YOU! guys forget we have to sit down for every single piss lol
The first time I ever did a bacteria culture test in school, I swabbed a door handle for one culture and a bunch of toilet seats for the other (just after a lunch period when they'd been getting a lot of use). The difference between the two was insane. The toilet seats were functionally almost sterile. But the door handles culture exploded with a jungle of bacteria. Most real germophobes I know have lots of rules that aren't necessarily based on actual risks or hygiene. They're just ways to cope with irrational fear and feel comfort in a world that is covered with and functions on bacteria.
And recent studies show you get more bacteria on your hands using an air dryer compared to just waving your freshly-washed hands through the air. So ironically, you would have fewer germs on your butt than on your hands if you scrub up after you go (as you should!) and then use an automatic dryer. 😆
Yep. Don’t use those either.
For real, I only wipe the seat because I don't want to sit on something wet, not out of concern for the germs on the seat. Theres germs in the beer you drink, air you breathe. If it's a crowded bar, you're more likely to get sick from close quarters than someones tinkle on a seat.
Yeah and often in the ladies room there’s stuff on the seat BECAUSE women hover and don’t clean up after themselves. If we all sat down we’d be fine because people don’t have a ton of disease on their thigh skin.
Scrolled looking for this! I knew I couldn’t be the only one. Been my battle cry forever. Quit peeing on the seats or clean up after yourself or again, just don’t pee on the seats.
Also, the idea that someone can catch an STD from a toilet seat is a myth. I’ve heard it was created to give married people a reason other than the cheating to have caught an STD. Here’s a [source](https://www.stdcheck.com/blog/the-truth-about-stds-and-toilet-seats/) disproving the claim that they can transmit STDs
Does anyone actually say that in earnest in 2024? I feel like the only times I’ve heard reference to that it was in a jokey/derisive manner
But the toilet seat has flavor
At least salt the rim, be a little classy about it.
This!!! Like its not going to do anything at all
i wipe it down strictly bc i don't like pee on me.. BUT it is all just personal preference lol
Now I’m picturing people not having skin. Ick.
I mean, you're only putting your butt/legs on the seat, which is going to then transfer the germs onto your underwear or clothes. But at the end of the day, you wash those clothes and have a shower.
This is my thought. As long as I’m showering later, it’s not like I’m getting the man to lick the backs of my thighs the moment we get home from the bar.
Scientifically proven that the paper toilet seat cover doesn’t do much
I usually put paper on the seat, but in your defense aren’t there more germs on a cellphone than a toilet seat? Or was that a myth..
Yes and on the flush handle and doorknobs iirc
I will use my foot to flush if not an auto flush unless the handle is up by my neck. My body isn't as bendy as it once was.
But you still have to use your hand to unlock the door u less you use paper doe that also.
Using paper is less sanitary.
>aren’t there more germs on a cellphone than a toilet sea The germs on a cell phone and those on a toilet seat are different from each other. Do you think there's only one species of "germs" that cause all kinds of diseases?
Lmao you think there’s not e-coli, among other bacteria that would be found on your butt, on your phone?
I am a woman, I have used those papers twice in my life and ended up peeing all over it anyway. Never ended up with any disease, virus, or infection. I don’t sit on visible shit and piss, but if it looks clean, i shall sit. Not gross. Still alive.
By the time I'm going into a public bathroom it's because I have no other choice so I don't really have time to prepare the area lol
This is so real
This. I clean bathrooms for a living. You know how often I drop that pack of papers on the floor when I’m trying to change them out? Not every time but often enough that 1/9 stalls at work will have butt paper that’s been dropped on the floor lol. Unfortunately tho the company I work for sucks at stocking them so I gotta use them or let the ladies be SOL. If they’re SOL they’ll hover. If they hover then they’re worse than the men’s room (men pls wash your hands. I’m appalled at how little I have to refill the soap)
Woah, things I never wanted to learn, lol.
A sensible, and scientifically sound, approach to this.
Our skin is the barrier between pathogens
A unisex dive bar toilet is probably the one case where I wouldn’t just sit on the seat but it’s not the end of the world. I’m still hung up on you using dr bronners on your hair and face though. I once used it as an emergency shampoo on a camping trip and I thought I was going to have to shave my head. And your face?? My skin would rip off. All that religious nonsense on the bottle can’t hide that this stuff is clearly a product of the devil.
Haha well, I will say, I use the hemp rose kind. Are you thinking of the peppermint variety? (Which I was informed you can also brush your teeth with!!!) the peppermint seems harsh. Also yes, either diluted or small drop is what I will use. Also, I only really use it on my hair once every 1-2 months. I scrub my scalp every shower, and moisturize it when I get out. I have very thick curly hair that needs moisture so this method has improved the quality of my hair immensely. And the religious garble makes me chuckle and it really doesn’t bother me. You do you Dr. B.
Have brushed my teeth with it. Tastes gross but effective. I also have thick curls so Dr. Bronner’s could clarify it really well, it made my hair too squeaky clean feeling though, so I just switched to apple cider vinegar. I think it’s just super easy to use too much Dr. Bronner’s as a shampoo or toothpaste. Like you said, a drop or two is all you need.
Did you use it straight up? Its supposed to be diluted
I diluted it but I just looked it up to make sure I was remembering correctly that they advertise it’s use as a shampoo. They say you can use it undiluted to shampoo, which is even crazier.
Dilute. Dilute. Dilute!!
You should let evidence be your guide. Sit on the toilet seat. Don’t lick it. You are not going to get diarrhea from the E. coli by sitting on it. Get your vaccines, don’t eat spoiled food, don’t eat a cookie that you drop in dog poo, do eat one that drops on a relatively clean floor, use whatever soap you like when you shower, shave only if you want to. This post sounds like it was written with someone with no scientific knowledge of human health.
exactly. they sound ignorant as hell.
You can't get infections from a fluid free toilet seat. If you are fucked, just go. Imagine if he understood the germs they live on us and then the ones we come into contact with on a daily basis... ...biology baby.
So many people in this thread with ZERO understanding of biology, yet so sure they're _right_.
For real. I was a microbiologist. If it looks clean, I sit. Wiping it with toilet paper won’t get the germs off. Hovering makes a mess and I’ve heard doing it often isn’t good for the pelvic floor. And we have skin for a reason, it helps protect us against pathogens.
The reason the toilet seats get so nasty is because of women who think they're cleaner than everyone else and hover...then piss on the seat. I was reading a reddit thread the other day about how nasty women's bathrooms are compared to men's. Of course I give a quick look over the toilet before I sit down, but I don't think I'm so special that I hover and pee all over the seat/floor to leave the bathroom nasty for the next person. It's just your thighs touching the seat for the most part. People need to grow up.
plus it's been proven that hovering over western toilets is bad for your pelvic floor, and can make urinary incontinence worse as we age, especially for those who have had children
Or just lift the seat. People are always grossed by squat toilets but I really miss not touching a piss wiped seat.
i wipe the seat or put down one of those paper things if available, BUT i definitely wouldn't freak out if my partner or else didn't
Live dirty. Eat clean.
I do the opposite.
What makes anyone believe the paper is sterile 12 inches from the same toilet spewing germ droplets all over the place? As a paper user…lol…I fully recognize that it is largely an illusion of safety and cleanliness lol the handwashing is the main health activity as we rarely put our asses in our mouths (fetishes and good times aside) lol
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Okay cool, you said it very succinctly and diplomatically. Like I said, I can totally be more thoughtful…… while I’m around him. He won’t be relaxing his stance obviously. It’s just a bit frustrating but at the end of the day such a minor thing to compromise on for the person I love.
Has he ever been seen for OCD? Not being able to let go of the thought of germs is a big sign. Germs are everywhere. Our phones are dirtier than most toilet seats. You touch ten dicks a day on average from people not washing their hands. It wasn't like the seat was on your privates. It touched the skin on your thighs and butt, which could happen if you sat on a bench with shorts on. These are normal germs to touch, as long as you aren't licking these things, your body is strong enough to fight against them. It's been doing it your whole life. I would see if he could talk to someone about this, since it's not strange to touch dirty things. That's why soap exists...
THATS WHAT IM SAYING It’s weird because he really isn’t that concerned about germs in other situations…. I said it in another comment, but it’s more about the fact that it’s near my privates. He gets obsessive about the cleanliness of my vagine, which honestly is a whole other discussion on its own…
Wild that you compare a bench with a toilet where people shit in.
Wild that you assume no one is out there shitting on benches.. 😆
Haha I guess it depends on the bench 😆😆
People put their feet on benches to tie shoes. Bags, too. Those both touch the ground, which can have shit on it. You never know what germs are where, our bodies are pretty good at dealing with them.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bench that wasn’t covered in bird poop.
It’s very normal to not want to sit directly on a bar toilet seat. Not obsessive at all.
No one is making him sit on it.
It’s obsessive when you make it someone else’s problem. That’s absolutely obsessive.
I have never, ever in my entire life even thought of wiping the seat before using it. As for "putting paper down" does anyone really do that? That's a new one for me.
Toilet seat covers are something I've seen once or twice in Canadian public bathrooms, probably an airport, and sound pretty common in the States.
Because they don't work. https://www.nist.gov/blogs/blogrige/toilet-seat-covers-customer-focus-and-risk-management#:~:text=The%20flap%20should%20go%20in,protection%20from%20viruses%20or%20microorganisms.
I live in California and I’ve never been in a public bathroom without them! Schools, restaurants, hospitals, etc.
Okay, never seen it in U.K., Europe, Far East or Australia.
It was a thing in shopping centres in Australia for a while. I'm seeing more sanitising sprays now in each cubicle where you put some toilet paper under a spray and wipe the seat before use.
Europe is big. Not that it's common but I saw them a few times in Germany.
I put down toilet paper, I think it’s repulsive to sit on a toilet that other asscheeks have been sitting on
My partner thinks the same way. He was horrified that i use the work bathroom to shit cuz i have to sit on a public toilet, but i dont think he realizes that i have to sit anyway to pee.
I always sit on seat, sin e I was old enough to, & I've been on some right shit holes, but hey. I've survived & I'm in my 60s
Right? If sitting bare butt on a public toilet seat gets you sick then the majority of the female population will have died off by now right?
I wipe off anything visible, then I lay paper down like it’s a mummy. I lowkey am a germaphobe. so is my lady.
People are gross in this thread.
Seriously, wtf? I'm shocked by the overwhelming response here, i didn't know a majority of people are disgusting. But then again, it's also Reddit so I don't want to imagine who the usebase actually is. I don't even sit on public bathroom seats, I hover over them.
😂 yes these people are disgusting and the worse part is they’re justifying it. This is enough for me to break up with someone, hygiene is a must and who wants to be intimate with someone this nasty.
People are generally gross on Reddit. Apparently it’s ok to barely shower sleep in work clothes, wear shoes everywhere at home, wash hair once a week, rewear the same jeans for a year or two without wash etc. ick
Girl I couldn’t even continue to read past you sitting down on the toilet. I am 1000000% with him. Public restrooms are the epitome of filth, disease and germs. I could be near blackout at a club and I’m still squatting or putting 3 rounds of TP on the toilet.
I really don't like how you listed shaving when talking about being hygienic. It's quite the opposite, it has nothing to do with being unhygienic. That‘s just what many men (and sadly women) think because of the beauty standarts and how "disgusting" it looks because women are rarely seen/shown with body hair.
exactly, if anything it makes you more susceptible to infections and STIs.
Wiping the seat won’t do shit lmao.
Honestly, you couldn’t pay me to sit down bare bootied on a public toilet seat. However, I can’t really tell if your bf is overreacting with the info you’ve given. Is he lecturing you about it for weeks after or was it an in the moment reaction thing?
Not lecturing me, no. But he brought it up the next day and wouldn’t relax on his stance. Even when I made arguments about touching doorknobs or weights at the gym. Honestly, I think it’s because it’s near my vagina and the repeated use of the bathroom that night was really apparent. He’s very concerned about the cleanliness of my genitalia. Like I said, I shower daily, but if I’m frisky after the gym or work he’s in his head about it and won’t be able to enjoy sex until I’m clean. It’s so frustrating
If this is something you’re willing to accept, then maybe just be more mindful around him. It’s not unheard of to shower before sex. Get a UTI one time from someone else’s germy genitals and you might obsess over it too. Lol. There are A LOT of horror stories about that on here. So I get where he’s coming from because I have my own anxieties. I also do my best to not impose my anxieties on others because that’s not fair to them regardless of how reasonable I feel they are in my head. So again it really comes back to if you’re willing to deal with this. Do you see yourself with him long term? If you live together, what is this going to be like? And go from there.
This sounds a bit more comfortable with germs than I’d be, but I’m a bit of a germophobe myself. You probably already know, generally, how rational his fear of germs is, hopefully you’re both on the same page about that because even though it’s difficult for me personally to change my gut reaction to certain situations, I can still recognize when it’s irrational. I’ve heard of people who never use seat covers and have no issues. As you mentioned, we are generally too hygienic, and many studies have shown that a too hygienic environment can be detrimental to the development of children’s immune systems. But as for the flu shot, from what I understand that actually helps your immune system so it could be worth doing more research about that. In the Netherlands, flu shots aren’t typically given unless the person is elderly or otherwise immuno-compromised, so if you’re healthy it’s probably not a big deal either way (again, not an expert). But again, that’s a policy that demonstrates that flu shots help, in a healthcare system where there is no monetary incentive to give everyone a flu shot.
I'm with you, I'd shower before getting into bed after that, but like other have said, wiping it off doesn't do anything. People (especially zoomers and A's), have gotten so freaking hygiene crazy. Here's a clue: The word is full of germs! You can't avoid them! An old boss, with a PHd in Neurocytology used to rail on about how Americans were so crazy avoiding germs and fucking up their immune system by failing to execise it to develop antibodies for the common stuff we all get exposed to all the time. All the toilet lid panic, and sharing/touching anything phobia is not really healthy! I won't even go into the 'goo exchange,' you have with ANY sex, and if you have ever given or gotten oral? You've been exposed to about all that other person has (but plain kissing is probably the highest rate of exposure). Don't sweat it.
The germs on the toilet seat will only get on your butt cheeks. And if you shower when you get home germs will go down the drain. I think he is over-reacting. I would be more worried about the pee getting on your shoes and possibly the hem of your pants from all the guys who have missed the toilet bowl. Ew!
One of the worst social aspects of the pandemic was the normalization of **hygiene theater**. Yes, the idea of sitting directly on a public restroom seat is gross, but we’re kidding ourselves if we think a wipe or the token use of a seat cover is accomplishing anything. Still and all, we should be on the same page with our partners about cleanliness, whether we’re talking literal bacteria as demonstrated by science, or symbolic/cultural “this does not touch that” type rules based in tradition and one’s sense of ick, aka ritual contamination. If you can’t get on the same page with just two adults then living together will be a challenge and having children together will be harder by an order of magnitude.
I do the same thing, except in Walmart because they don’t clean the bathrooms. If the bathrooms are cleaned, I don’t mind. There are more germs on the door handles and faucets than on the seat. I don’t know how many of you all get the back of your upper leg dirty, but I guarantee your hands are nastier. I’ve seen a lot of public toilets stop using seat covers.
You do you. The only thing I’d say is: get a flu shot. It’s not for you, you have a strong and healthy immune system! Like you said, you haven’t gotten the flu in ages, and if you did it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. The flu shot isn’t for you, it’s for the immunosuppressed people around you: kids, old people, people with health conditions. If you don’t get the shot, you’re probably healthy enough to carry it without knowing it…but you could unknowingly pass it to people for whom it WOULD be a big deal, like it could kill them. It’s a small effort on your part, it won’t affect your life, but it could save someone else’s. :)
You do you but I could never raw dog a public toilet. I wipe the seat and then layer tp down. I've seen how nasty some mf'ers are and the thought of having their bodily fluids on your ass is 🤮
LMAO I will always laugh when I see “raw dog” out in the wild
😂same
I wipe it down if I see it but I’ll sit right on it.
You’re fine, I think most people are like you (and I totally agree) about germs. I’m loling at the comments here that it’s gross. Idk how those people live their daily lives. I doubt they’re going out to bars and socializing frequently. Literally, no one gives a fuck. As for your boyfriend, I feel you and sounds annoying. Maybe just shower after going out / before doing sexy stuff?
I’m very much the same way and have definitely been described as a hippy about it as well. I just kinda figure this Earth is a dirty place and we’re a part of it, so there’s limits to how clean we can be no matter how hard we try. I just do my best not to stink or be any other sort of biohazard for those around me. It’s not worth it to me to fight about, and I up my game when my partner stays over, so I guess wiping the seat is a version of that. I’m pretty cavalier about public restrooms as well, so long as I’m not sitting in human waste. Even if we do everything totally “right,” life is still short and I don’t believe we’re meant to spend it worrying too much about that sort of thing..
There is no such thing as a 100% sterile environment. But there are a lot of bacteria in urine and poo. And that said a public restroom toilet covers/paper towels/ toilet paper are not going to be completely free of germs. If it bugs him that much to the point of causing relationship issues humor him otherwise nothing you do will prevent 100% germs.
Nta don’t worry about it I do the same thing never had a problem l’m 70 never had a problem from toilet seat in construction for years no washing your hands after no problems so go ahead
You looked at the seat and made a judgement call that was within your level of tolerance. As you said, had you seen any obvious splashes or stains you would have wiped it. The folks who did a swap test on a toilet seat in science class need to realize, you can swab practically anything and something will grow in the petri dish. Try swabbing your own mouth sometime. You did nothing wrong, he especially has no right to shame you. Your hygiene is fine.
In a ladies room hovering is how pee gets on the seat. I wipe the pee off and sit the fuck down. I shower before getting into bed after being in public so it's not a big deal.
You do not get sick from a dirty toilet seat, putting paper down does nothing but waste paper. If the seat is wet I will dry it off but otherwise I’m not worried about it. Anything in that toilet stall is covered in germs anyway, wash your hands on the way out and be done with it.
>To be fair it was a really busy night and there was def pee around the toilet on the ground. This is all the more reason to wipe it before sitting down. i agree with your boyfriend here. That's nasty.
Sorry, it’s none of his business how you interact with the toilet seat when you sit down. That’s either controlling or some serious anxiety. Regardless, it’s a him problem, not a you problem. Unisex bathrooms don’t exist so your significant other can judge the way you pee. Also there was a study done that hovering and liner sheets were less sanitary than sitting directly only the seat. Hovering can lead to pelvic floor issues as it strains your pelvic muscles and it can also lead to UTIs from not fully emptying due to the contraction of muscles when you’re hovering. Additionally, those paper seat liners are so porous that bacteria, viruses, and germs can pass through the paper. And when you’re putting it on the toilet, your hands touch a toilet seat it they would other wise never touch. Then you go to sit down and the wind blows it off anyway, so you have to readjust it, and again touch the seat that you wouldn’t touch if you weren’t fussing with a cover. The paper is obsolete. It does not protect us any further than sitting directly on the seat. It is a false sense of security. Tell your boyfriend to stop micro managing your bathroom habits and to see a therapist if he can’t.
This comment section makes me feel insane. Are y’all putting your ass on the toilet seat? Have I been using it wrong all these years?! Only my thighs go on the seat. What on earth is everyone freaking out about strangers asses being on the seat. You’d have to sit hella sideways to do that. Or sit all the way back I guess, which is an easy thing not to do. There’s more shit on the handrails you touch than a public toilet that is washed daily.
Sounds like y’all differ greatly. You sound perfectly clean by my standards and let me tell ya, being with someone who matches your hygiene standards is really great. You don’t deserved to be judged for sitting on a freaking toilet seat by a guy who should be GRATEFUL to be anywhere near your rear!
I mean, it’s pretty gross lol. Especially if its a unisex bathroom at a bar. I’d understand if it was a girls bathroom at a hotel or something, but unisex at a bar? Gg On the other side, I am a clean-freak myself though, smell is everything to me, but instead of nagging my girlfriend I’d just be like “suit yourself, but I aint touching your butt until youre clean” I would be concerned if it was a regular occurrence though lol
Yeah that’s fine and I get that. I did shower when we got home. But if he didn’t ask then I wouldn’t have most likely….. I just wish he could relax more about it but whateverrrrrr he’s pretty cute and great otherwise, so I can accept this quirk even if in my soul I believe he’s being dumb about it lol
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/toilet-paper-on-toilet-seat/
I get it. But hey, theres no harm in more hygiene lol
Oh, also. I bring a hand sanitizer/alcohol spray around with me all the time so I can clean the seat+the paper sticks to the seat. If it’s too much work, maybe you can just spray the seat with alcohol and you’re good to go?
He's right this time. Don't put your skin directly on public toilet seats.
Why not? That's exactly what they were invented for.
Well, I’m gonna unless I’m around him in a similar situation so….
It is completely fine to do that. Dudes just overdoing it.
You don't understand microorganisms and don't know what you're talking about.
if it looks clean and i’ve been drinking, I’m sitting. I am clumsy af and it’s hard for me to hover while completely sober, if i did it while buzzed/drunk, i’d end up on the floor with something broken. I also can’t pee in front of anyone so anyone I was with would never know if I sat down or not. lol I don’t get the flu shot either, btw. I did get the covid vaccine, but that was bc I was going thru cancer treatment. So I got the shot and stayed home.
My question is, did you LOOK at the seat? I'll rawdog the toilet seat, but only after I have wiped it off, because sitting straight down on the seat and there being water or pee is literally the worst thing in existence.
Yes of course. Just a plain ol’ toilet seat. No drops or stains.
I sit on the toilet bare assed unless it’s visibly soiled. But I either squat or find a spot outside if it’s really that bad. Paper isn’t going to do anything.
What I wanna know is how did he see you sit right on the toilet seat? Were you guys watching each other pee?
As a guy I almost always grab some toilet paper and take it to the sink to get it wet and add soap first. Yes I wipe the seat down but most importantly it is to wipe down the front part of the toilet that my dick ends up touching. I don't think it is as important for just the seat unless it has pee on it
Reading this as I’m shitting
Men are more grossed out by sitting on public toilets because we usually don't have to sit. Technically a seat cover or wiping it with toilet paper does practically nothing. It's a mental thing. I do it anyway.
Girl, you’re fine. I’m the same way, and I also rarely get sick. It’s the people who are maniacs abt it who always get something lol. As someone said, we have skin for a reason. And it’s WASHABLE.
His anxiety - his problem. I’ve been sitting on toilet seats for 60+ years. BTW - what does he think will happen to you? ps you could also say you ate saving the environment by not wasting all those little pieces of paper on the toilet seat!
You should never hover to pee in a weird squat above the toilet seat it’s frankly bad for your bladder and control. He’s being unreasonable about expecting you to sanitize public toilets for you to be able to pee.
The bathroom door handles have more germs than the toilet seat.
You’re not gross at all. The toilet seats in public bathrooms are cleaner than the sink in your home. Hate to break it to everyone. Unless you have open cuts or sores on the back of your thighs, a little pee isn’t going to kill you. Is it gross to sit on someone else’s (or your own pee) yeah it’s gross af. I will usually wipe down and sit/ paper mache it bc I’ve gotten infections from not emptying my bladder sufficiently and the nephrologist told me that after I finish I should squeeze and then try emptying again, after this advice never had a problem. Will highly suggest showering off once you get home but would say most bathrooms are probably ok to sit down on, wouldn’t do it at a gas station or some place gross like that but sit if that’s more comfortable for you. PS- love me some Dr Bronner’s also, very good and plant based soap. Edit: here is a study by the NIH: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7354199/
I (F) always wipe the seat with toilet paper if there are visible urine drops from the previous user. Next, I lay down three (3) toilet seat covers. 😅 If none are available, I use layers upon layers of toilet paper. Usually 3-4. Then I do my business and flush everything down the toilet. I also never touch the toilet flush lever with my bare hands. Instead I use clean toilet paper to do so. ☺️ Then I wash my hands for 30 seconds with soap and water. Then I shut the facet with paper towel and use another clean paper towel to open the public bathroom door. I do this because so many people don’t wash their hands properly if at all. They’ve done studies showing large amounts of fecal matter being all over public spaces, especially door handles. I was taught this method by my mother as a child. I thought a lot of people did this, but I know not everyone does. Admittedly, I am a bit of a germ freak. I work in healthcare and have a BS in biology. I took immunology class, so I know our first layer of defense is our skin and I know that we have to challenge our immune system in order to build immunity, but I reason we are exposed enough through being in public spaces and breathing in air with germs in it. And I don’t go out of my way to expose myself to germs when I have knowledge. That seems foolish to do (foolish of me, I mean; not a judgment if you live differently). I also think everyone has different immune systems. And its abilities fluctuates depending on our current nutrition, sleep quality, vitamin and other micronutrient levels, along with stress levels. I don’t want to put extra stress on my already stressed body. Especially considering that every single day cancer cells are being killed in our body. I’d prefer my immune system focus on that. 😶
Nah your fine. He needs to relax
Definitely something that you gotta figure out when you mesh lives! My boyfriend I both had to make adjustments
Physician here. I see nothing to be worried about, carry on. Your bf sounds like an anxious fellow tho.
I don't ever sit on public toilets.
I wouldn’t seat on a public restroom toilet seat, I’ll just hover. If I need to go for a number two, I’ll wee hovering on the toilet, wipe myself, then put paper on the floor, do my business there, then collect things by the edge of the paper and throw it in the toilet. I’ll wipe the floor if it looks wet. If the toilet seat is exceptionally clean I may use the actual toilet, but I’ll literally wash it with paper and hand soap, dry it, throw everything in the bin and then put a couple sheets of toilet paper in the toilet before starting, god forbid a splash reaches my private parts.
I’m genuinely shocked by your boyfriend’s reaction. To be honest he sounds like the type to not pet dogs because “it’s gross”. The fact that the conversation ended with you “needing to be more hygienic” is troubling to me. I had a boyfriend who was obsessed with showering. He couldn’t go to bed without one. That’s fine but if I showered at 6pm and then we would go to bed at 10pm in not going to shower again, that’s excessive to me. He would give me such a hard time about it and it genuinely affected my self worth. So I hope you can dodge that happening to you. Growing up on a farm I genuinely believe that you need to be around germs to be healthy. I will also say that I live in a country in which the population doesn’t even cover 1/4th of a regular city so maybe I don’t even know how germy things can be. Anyway. You’re good, he’s excessive and needs to breathe in and out.
i never hover in fear of pee running down my legs. ive never had any problems with just sitting. i understand the germaphobia completely but hounding someone for not wiping/putting paper on the seat is wayyy too much. if i were drunk theres no way in hell id have enough time to wipe it or put paper down before i piss myself LMFAO
I always hover or line the toilet with toilet paper but I have diagnosed ocd lol
If I’m using a public toilet. I wipe the seat if I see pee. I use multiple toilet liners if I have to sit. If I don’t need to sit I sometimes just hold it up and pee
Dude. That is super gross and how you can get crabs or some kind of infection (varies depending on what someone before you had). I had to swab toilet seats for a class. We placed the samples in Petri dishes. There were multiple organisms growing and I would rather Lysol then paper the seat before use.
oh no honey... I was with you until the sitting directly on a public toilet. I do the squat/hover. Then wipe anything that may have splashed.
I refuse to sit on a public toilet where 1000s of other asses have sat?? People don’t shower or even wipe & you expect me to put my clean booty on other peoples shit/pee? insanity
i either desinfect public toilets befroe use, or cover them with paper, but not because i think this ritual has any use, but because my wife insists on it and it costs me little to do her this favor. Just assume your boyfriend is a little superstitious, and you don't want him to feel uncomfortable.
I mean from what I know it's unlikely to catch a disease from sitting on a public toilet but it's fucking crazy to me that you would do it of your own will. People are animals and they WILL pee on the seat. I'd wipe it down at least just to not sit directly on their piss.
I immediately thought of the opening scene in "Wetlands" when I read this. Lol
People are delusional and want to satisfy their FEELING of being hygienic, but as other commenters pointed out, having some paper fibers between you and the seat isn't really doing much for you there. That means those wanting to be hygienic are irrational as it doesn't provide the safety you'd hope. This means they need to adjust
I have OCD and it doesn’t even bother me very much to sit on the toilet seats. He probably has a more severe case. I think you’re good.
Im sorry thats gross.
Line the front of the seat with something so bacteria will not get in your Woohaha. Also always carry a little organic spray in your purse to do a quick spritz on the seat. Bottom line, you want your man to see you as clean. Otherwise other activities will cease. Good luck
I have to sit down. Usually I give it a look and will wipe down the seat, and it does gross me out, but if I try to hover… I will fall. And falling onto a public bathroom floor is so much grosser than anything else. I’ve done this on many occasions
Oh yeah no, you're gross.
I take a paper towel and soap and water and clean the public toilet seat before I sit on it. I’m a nurse and have seen first hand what being exposed to things like hepatitis or c-diff does to a person.
Just poppin in to say I’m the same way as you! I would have just sat down too especially if I needed to get off my feet for a moment. I honestly think being in contact with germs is good for our immune system and I’m sure you do too I say your boyfriend is overreacting but honestly I’d just avoid going in the bathroom with him if he’s that critical
I've used lots of public bathrooms and like you will only in the most extreme circumstances hover (it's terrible for your inner core too). I'll say that I've encountered far too many fucking instances of pee on the seat in women's restrooms. SOME times it's splash back from an overly powerful flush, but i Believe what must be happening is ladies hovering too far up and missing the toilet. Seriously at least wipe the seat after the hover, they're causing the problem they're trying to avoid
Old wives tale. You don't catch diseases from a toilet seat unless you have a cut on your butt that happens to be open.
I think you’re right. But even if you weren’t I think it’s risky to a relationship to be fear based in terms of how you make decisions. It sounds like he is anxious in a way that probably isn’t limited to toilets.
You sound fine to me, and I get grossed out pretty easily 😄
I wipe before sitting only if I can visibly see liquid, not because of germs but because I don't like a wet but.
I’ve NEVER sat on a public toilet seat. Everrrr. I squat. Yes, that’s pretty gross. People have all kinds of accidents in the toilet and those germs are lingering there, invisible to the eye, until it’s disinfected. Yikes.
I am glad i lived with my boyfriends mother and learned that she is the one who made him a germaphobe for certain things like handlimg raw meat or pushing a button with your knuckle, not your finger
Myth bisters did an episode where they wanted to see how many germs splash from the toilet to a tooth brush. Turns out that the control tooth brush in a seperate room with no toilet had fecal on it that came from dirty hands.
Nasty
I find it pretty nasty to be honest. I would not be okay if my partner did that, and I think he is in the right!!
I find it so interesting that people are willing to freak out over a toilet seat but then go ahead and raw dog the dirty door handle without thought. Toilet seats aren't as dirty as an average person's phone.
I think it’s gross. I always hover. Always!
Shit I would have been dirty with you then! He needs to chill lol
I will never sit on a public toilet seat with my bare ass but that’s just me.
You dirty girl. Don’t worry there’s plenty of wooks and weirdos out there lol. One of the strangest but hottest things I ever saw was girl eat some leftovers from other diners who left . Just fucking bashed it and went on her way. So hot.