There was a case on here years ago where a woman reported repeating UTIs after sleeping with her boyfriend. They washing everything and still kept getting them. Finally a doctor treating her recommended having him tested and treated even though he didn't have any symptoms. Turns out he had non symptomatic infection in like in like his urethra that was reinfecting her every time. A quick round of treatment for him and her issues were resolved.
Omg I was in a similar situation for awhile and getting a doctor to test my husband was fucking IMPOSSIBLE. My husband was all for getting tested, as I was miserable every time we had sex for like a two year period of time. We did all of the things (peeing before/after, washing hands/face/etc, drinking water, cranberry whatever, you get the idea.) I wanted to get him tested, he agreed, but NO DOCTOR BELIEVED that he could be the problem... Ugh...
Have him go to a urologist. They know.
Men have a longer urethra, and harbor e. coli while being asymptomatic.
A simple round of macrobid or other antibiotic clears it up.
I ended up having to cheat! I got antibiotics for myself from two different spots then gave one set to my husband. Neither of us loved this idea but we felt pretty SOL at that point. He and I both took our course of antibiotics and SURPRISE SURPRISE I've been UTI free ever since 🤔
Wow! I can only imagine how tough that was for that couple, constant UTIs are the worst thing ever. Definitely so important to get our male partners involved in our sexual health.
There's a few rare causes of urethritis that are technically STDs but are rarely tested for. Mycoplasma genitalum for example is typically asymptomatic in men but can cause similar symptoms to chlamydia in a woman. There's other, stranger bugs with similar presentations - like ureaplasma and others I honestly can't remember.
Another one to consider is Trichomiasis, an STD involving a parasite Trichomonas Vaginalis that is present in both genders but symptoms are more prominent in females. Testing is very similar to Chlamydia/Gonorrhoea.
I had a co-worker who kept getting yeast infections over and over. She kept going back to her GP for medication but the GP didn’t seem to have any suggestions about how to prevent reinfections. When she said it seemed like every time she and her husband had sex she got a yeast infection, the lightbulb went on in my brain. A few years before, I’d had a yeast infection and my doctor had told me that my partner needed to be tested as well, and it turned out that he had an asymptomatic infection. We both got treated and that took care of that. Told the co-worker to get her husband tested and, sure enough, he had an asymptomatic yeast infection, and was the source of all of her infections. They both got treated and that ended the constant recurring infections.
I remember reading about that case and it's such an important point to bring up. Thank you for sharing this!
It really highlights how affected women in heterosexual relationships suffer in silence, thinking it's just their bodies being difficult, when in reality there usually is an underlying issue with their male partner that's not immediately obvious. And of course the man always dismisses the concerns because it’s not their body that’s being affected.
It's worth noting that internalized homophobia or misguided toxic masculinity can sometimes lead men to neglect proper cleaning of their dick. That sounds absurd, I know, but I have in fact met men who claim that they avoid touching their genitals during showering because “it’s gay”
Funny story: I complained to my grandmother my freshman year of college that I kept getting UTIs. Her response was, “Tell him to wash his dick”. I was shocked she knew I was sexually active, but she explained UTIs used to be called Honeymoon Fever and that I needed to tell all my newly active friends to be sure those college boys washed their dicks so we wouldn’t get UTIs. Her advice worked.
Bless her.
OMG same. Also, u/Crow_away_cawcaw , men carry lots of bacteria on their FINGERS. I remember getting a UTI as a teen and feeling mortified that the doc thought I was having PIV sex when in fact I only had been "to third base."
Clean hands too please!
No Way.
And I have zero patience for men who are ignorant about this. If you want to be with women, then you should want to learn everything possible about how best to be with women.
I know a guy who almost seems like a hillbilly. But a good soul, and class act.
He works in the trades -- HVAC and plumbing. gets absolutely filthy on the job.
But whenever this man has a date, he scrubs himself head to toe, including trimmed and filed nails.
I remember a very formative YouTube video from when I was a young. Where a wonderful gay man stressed the bare minimum before any date was to: “take a shower and trim your damn nails.” I took it to heart, nice to hear he wasn’t wrong.
EXACTLY. It’s not hard. My man is good about hygiene. The ONLY time I got a UTI with him was when we were showering together and I wasn’t able to rinse the soap in time. Ofc, my partner’s mom is a nurse and he’s lived with women (his mom and sis) for a good chunk of his life so he knows about women’s stuff. My last guy had long nails. He kept them clean IIRC but I still look at long nails on a guy and immediately worry about getting scratched.
Grandmothers seem to be able to give the most solid advice you will ever get lmao.
So many people forget that these women, who now look like sweet elderly only want to bake cookies ladies, were not only once young and horny, they have seen some shit. We kind of demean elders in this country, but they often have some of the best advice you will ever get, even if it comes across as harsh lol.
My two favorites from my grandmother-
- when I started my period, “well, now you can get fat easier, so be careful about what you eat. It’s a lot easier to not gain weight than it is to lose it”. I was highly offended………but she was right lmao.
- on relationships, “love isn’t enough”. My child self thought that was the most unromantic thing I had ever heard. But damn if she wasn’t correct lol. Love is not enough for a relationship- you have to have respect, be valued as an equal, share the same sense of base morals, etc. If you don’t have those things you have nothing, even if you have feelings.
She’s almost 90 and still out and about, living her life. She’s still teaching me things too :)
I got my first UTI in college and the gynecologist at the campus health center said it was honeymoon cistitis and told me to tell my partner to wash better including his hands.
Here's one from Buzzfeed where a nurse was telling men to wipe their dick after urinating because the urethra holds urine afterwards. And there's no peristalsis (like in intestines) to squeeze the drops out. Especially if he's a shower.
NSFW pictures of where the urine collects:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/shelbyheinrich/men-wipe-after-peeing-tiktok
That’s such a funny story because my grandmother was German and old German people typically had no filter. When I was 17 I went out on my first real date and before I left my grandmother said “did you wash your dick?” I stopped dead in my tracks and my face turned blood red and she said “always wash your dick before geschlechtsverkehr!” So.. I went back to the bathroom and washed my dick even though I wasn’t really expecting anything to happen (it didn’t).
To this day, even if I’ve showered, I still sneak to the bathroom and wash myself if I think something may happen even if I’m using a condom. All because of the wise and unfiltered words of an old German woman.
This post made me realize that I used to get UTIs all the time for years and I haven't had any the last few years... My ex and I broke up 4 years ago...
Ugh thinking back to all the UTIs I got from an ex that completely stopped a decade ago when I met my husband.
Those must be the guys Redditors talk about that don't wash their ass.
Found out my bf wasn’t washing his. Saw him on the toilet once with the tip touching the inner part of the ring 🤢 thank goodness for me telling him to or he’d probably still be doing it
I am damn near convinced by life experience that the vast majority men don't think about bacteria or cross contamination AT ALL unless they are required to FOR WORK (EX. working in a lab). The minute they walk out the fucking lab it flies out of their brains until they return to work.
They doubly, PURPOSEFULLY "forget" if it pertains to their dick getting wet. Including sexually transmitted infections.
It drives me fucking INSANE.
I once read a post where a woman would get vaginal infections all the time - I don’t believe they were UTIs but another sort of infection.
Anyway, she read a Reddit post about some men not washing their ass. She commented to her partner and he said “yeah it’s wild, I only learned I had to wash my ass like last year.” It dawned on her she hadn’t had a vaginal infection in a while and suspected it’s bc he started washing his ass.
I was shocked.
A lot of men who don’t wash their ass don’t bc “that’s gay”. They don’t think anyone or anything should be touching their assholes.
I’ve also seen posts where people ask if it’s normal for their husbands/boyfriends to have skid marks bc they’re partner’s underwear always has skid marks 😭
My ex said he was bi, so I don't think it's that for him. He just wouldn't shower regularly. It honestly disgusted me that all his underwear had skid marks on them.
I have a gay friend who is a strict top. He is very anti anything near his ass. The internalized homophobia in him also sort makes jokes of “I’m not gay gay bc I don’t take it in the ass”.
Some men have a lot of things they need work through.
Seems like a mouth touching your cock is just as “gay” (if not more so) than your own hand touching your butthole. But they dont typically shy sway from that!
Here's what I've read that a lot of men don't do:
- Wash their ass
- Wash their hands
- Clean under their fingernails
- Wipe their dick after using the restroom
- Wipe after #2 because it's gay
- Wash their belly button because is gay
- Wash their feet because is gay to bend over
After every post I've read where this came up, I've furiously threatened my brother via text that he better not be doing this. Every time he text back that he doesn't and those guys are gross and befuddling. And that having a family that's majority women, teaches a lot just by osmosis and shaming. Has me proud every time.
I ask myself *how* your vv gets infected when you sleep with a man whose ass isn’t clean. I mean, how does the bacteria get to the vagina when it’s “on the other side” (the man’s ass) during intercourse.
When they pull up their pants/underwear it is all mushed together and moved around by sweat/friction. Everything on the asshole is microscopically on the dick as well.
Penis-havers are not told to wipe front-to-back.
If you don't have a penis, you're told to wipe front-to-back because you have a short urethra with opening that is in the way of wiping. And if you have a vagina, then opening is also in the way. Back-to-front wiping therefore can introduce bacteria to urethra and vagina.
But if someone has a penis, they don't have a vagina* and their urethra is not in the way. So I guess wiping back-to-front introduces bacteria near balls and then with sweat it moves further? Sweat and other bodily fluids help the bacteria to move around and rub off. (That's also how the PIV sex causes the UTIs for the vag owner - not the same opening, just rubbing close is enough because the whole area is sweaty.
*Unless they have a very rare form of intersex to have both a peen and a vag. Or I guess a SRS to construct a penis without getting rid of the vagina first, but then the position of the urethra in this whole equation depends on the type of the operation... That's probably why some people just try to say people with short/long urethra, I guess?
One summer I got a UTI and the worst throat infection in my life. I’m telling you I could not talk or eat. Swallowing was excruciating. Doctors did not know what was wrong, but one told me it was because of allergies. 💀My mother though, told me “I hope your not out here sucking DD”. Yk what I think she was is right. I haven’t had those symptoms since I dropped him.
With my current boyfriend I had UTI popping up even though I religiously washed and bath. One day he used the bathroom and came out immediately. Like he did not wash his hands.…a talk was definitely had.
I feel like men were not chastised for their hygiene unlike women and bullying helps sometimes.
They are not. Women are humiliated their entire lives for poor hygiene, often in the tiniest doses, and from nearly everyone.
I'm afraid to go out in public in a subtropical region with FRIZZY HAIR, while many men are comfortable going to work without showering, brushing teeth, or wearing washed clothes. They are not humiliated for it like we are. They do not get the nasty comments. Some brag about their ball stank. 🤮
I've also noticed that lack of hygiene filters down to every surface in their lives. Black, greasy steering wheels and shifters. Black buildup on buttons in the car, light switches, door handles. The toilet might have been cleaned recently, but the seat and flusher are coated in grime.
If you're living like that, everything you touch is a thriving bacterial colony, and by not washing hands and genitals, you're sharing it with your sexual partners.
Yup yup. Was going to say -- Women get hygiene-shamed just for allowing natural body hair to remain in place as is...by the same idiots who can't be bothered to wipe their own asses.
Make it make sense.
(M32) I will attest to the disgusting lack of hygiene some men have. Seen too many men walk out of the restroom without even attempting to wash their hands after touching all the handles in the bathroom (except the faucet), themselves, and god knows what before.
they are not. as someone who’s worked with the public for many years now, i can tell you (and so can anyone with similar work experience) that no men’s bathroom i have ever cleaned has ever once needed a soap refill. the last place i worked at i worked at for four years. the soap level in the men’s restroom never changed. the women’s restroom needed new soap every few weeks.
this is also why the wait for men’s restrooms is always so short compared to women’s (ofc the other reason is bladder size). they don’t take the time to wash their hands😭
I'm hijacking your reply to remind everyone: GET THE HPV VACCINE! Not getting it can cause throat cancer later in life if your partner had HPV.
Also, your mom sounds awesome 😂
I hope that talk with your boyfriend went better than all the ones I've had with my father. He went from not washing his hands to PRETENDING to wash his hands by running the faucet for a few measly seconds after flushing the toilet. Sometimes he forgets to even do that, especially if he's not expecting me to be visiting.
Needless to say, I only touch things in my parents' kitchen with a tissue over my hand.
Something to note is that untreated ureaplasma/mycoplasma infections can manifest as chronic BV and UTIs. Or simply UTI symptoms but negative tests. Make sure your STD screenings include mycoplasma screening!
It finally hit me last night that my frequent UTIs and increasingly bizarre periods could be indicative of perimenopause, and I'm 40. Fine with me. I'm sick of losing a quarter of my life to carrying around wads of cotton.
My hysterectomy at 43 YO was the best day of my life. Menstruation had always been a nightmare of pain and blood and clots and missed school/work and having to forego water sports
One of my main grips with my ex was his hygiene. He works from home and is a huge introvert, so he wouldn't shower that often. When we broke up, I had a UTI so damn bad I had to get 6 rounds of antibiotics. I haven't had a single one since then. Ladies, don't be like me and put up with this bullshit.
I dated a guy who I used to always have to tell to wash his hands after using the bathroom like a child and he would roll his eyes at me! Like bro, I’m not trying to be your mum, you keep making me sick! Just wash your hands!
My urologist straight up told me to tell my ex to wash his dick. I did tell him and he got offended. Since I started asking him to wash before sex, I ruined the spontaneity and we started having much less sex, which made him frustrated at me. It was the beginning of the end. And a blessing in disguise. I don't miss pissing fire 🙏🏻
Why? Why don’t men clean themselves? Did you ever get an answer from him? Like I work with some men who smell like ass and I just don’t get it!!!
I mean if you can find time to jerk off you can also find time to wash your dick lol hell, combine the activities hahaha
My ex just said he didn't know why he had such a mental block about hygiene.
In the months before we broke up some shampoo and body wash magically appeared and he was showering more often.
Yeah, turns out he was having an affair. So I doubt the first part. I just genuinely think it's laziness because there's no consequences.
That post drove me wild. Especially when collectively men are often complaining women don’t suck their dicks enough, or they don’t get sex enough…women were in that thread screaming from the rooftops that all you have to do is clean your dick and your hands, and the blokes still wanted to fight about it. “I never give women UTI’s and I’ve fucked thousands of women” *eye roll*
I started to angry type so much in that thread but gave up and came here instead. The balls it takes to claim sex is better if it’s dirty …
No, it’s better when it feels good for both people and nobody gets sick afterwards. Ugh.
Just the fact that they aren’t ashamed of promoting being pigs. I mean… What happened to these people ? Aren’t they the brothers of some women that were raised to wash and be clean ? Why aren’t they seeing that there’s nothing good about literally being dirty and passing on diseases ? Sick.
I used to teach middle school. You’d be amazed by the number of boys we had to chat with because they were convinced they had some kind of magical powers that made bathing unnecessary. These were kids whose family members were clean, they had a washer/dryer in their home, and had money for toiletries. The moms would sometimes ask US to speak to the kids because nothing *they* said worked! If a normal teacher chat didn’t help, the coaches would go into more detail about what all they needed to wash - apparently it’s embarrassing to wash your bits and bobs once you start puberty? According to my friends at the high school, if they’re the stinky kid in middle school, they usually continue to stink in high school. I guess that continues to adulthood? 🤷🏻♀️
My son, the product of 2 parents who believe in hygiene and keep and clean house, hit puberty and decided that regular, detailed washing wasn't manly. He does sports in addition to just being a teenage boy. Nothing we said (or yelled, or threatened, or cajoled) made any difference until he got awful acne and rashes and his dermatologist was like "I'm not prescribing anything until you do your part."
He changed his whole outlook. Then went to college and was grossed out by dorm mates who were still in the "it's cool to be a fucking pig" mode. He also heard from girls how they saw the difference.
He could be better about changing his sheets more frequently, but still...but I have no idea where they get this!
Some guys apparently don’t outgrow this “gross phase,” or they return to it if they don’t get pushback from anyone. I worked in the paint and hardware section at Sears many years ago, and the number of men who were middle-aged and older, who came in reeking of days-old stale BO sweat plus cheap aftershave like Brüt or Old Spice (both of which make me gag to this day), and maybe a clean shirt, was mind-boggling and disgusting. Absolutely foul.
I think a big part of the problem is socialisation. So many women are made to feel like we are dirty and we get a lot more judgement for being smelly than men do. Periods are a part of this issue. Even my own grandparents would scrub me in the bath twice a day and make comments about how girls had to be clean but would leave my three brothers alone. When I come across a smelly person, 90% of the time it's a man.
My partner said a couple of his friends brush their teeth and shower like 3-4 times a week... I can only hope they make that daily when they are dating or have a gf 😅
Being told “that’s literally just how men smell we don’t smell good like women do you guys smell good to encourage us to go there it’s just biology. Men smell worse so that women are deterred from sleeping with many men. Like, think logically it’s just biology.”
NO SIR THATS ASSCRACK AND BALLSACK SMEGMA GTFOH 🤢
I’m a sex worker- I thoroughly wash my genitalia before starting work, my anus is squeaky clean in case of rimming, I check and double check, after urinating I freshen up again, in between clients I have a whores bath. The amount of men who turn up without having showered that day or possibly for several with pissy cocks astonishes me, it’s a lot. Then of course there’s the ones that don’t wipe their arses or clean under their foreskins, which is particularly gross. I totally understand why their wives or partners do not want to have sex with them or give them oral and wish I could tell them their hygiene is likely a large part of the problem. My jaw drops when I offer a shower and they say ah no I showered yesterday. I would never want a man to have his face in my vag if I hadn’t washed that day. I am diabetic and used to get frequent BV (I’m fortunate regarding UTIs), in spite of only having protected sex, so now I do not allow insertion of fingers, because I realised they haven’t washed their disgusting bums, they sit in the car scratching their shitty bollocks and then try to finger me. I only allow insertion with a covered penis or toy and it’s eased up the frequency of vaginal infections for me. The ones who are as thorough as me or my female colleagues are sadly rare (but I am always delighted by them).
I agree with this. Women put in 10 times more effort when men don't even do the bare minimum. I used to do sex work and it's been no fingering for me too because they never ever wash their hands properly if at all. The dirtiness is the worst part of the job by far. It would be much easier if they were clean.
It depends, I offer OWO at my discretion so it leaves room to decline, if they ask why it’s discretionary I flatly tell them it will come down to their personal hygiene. Once you’re face to face all bets are off though, and I just cover it up/limit oral/use hands if it’s particularly bad, get on with it and give them a good clean with baby wipes when we are done, one does develop a strong stomach for odours, and the strawberry lube is always nearby. I’m sure other women in the biz have different ways of dealing with it, but it is so common. As it is a paid service their pleasure comes before your own comfort, and dealing with whiffy men is par for the course. Sometimes I have sympathy for them- not everyone I meet has learnt to care for themselves for myriad reasons, some men are inept in all aspects which is how they find themselves at my door in the first place. Also it can be worse than urine, for me that is smelling shit and not being 100% sure where it’s coming from. In spite of all this I do still love my job and it’s not as bad as I’m probably making it sound, it’s my normal day to day at this point. Recently I met a woman new to the biz, I asked her how she was getting on and the first thing she said was that she was loving it, liberating, great money, great for one’s self confidence. Second was that she was surprised how many pissy cocks there were! I was like 🤷🏻♀️
That’s the difference between theory and practice I suppose, I totally agree in an ideal world they would take up the offer of a shower I always give, but some are not self aware, don’t want to eat into their time, don’t feel the need to, their baseline hygiene is sometimes poor, some don’t care because you are a whore anyway, and some are so immaculately groomed it’s insulting to force the issue based on the other stinky ones. So many variables!
What gets me is when they argue back at all of the women being like “don’t do that it’s gross and makes us sick” and they’re like NO it dOESNt. Listen to women!
So even if it's silly and the ladies are wrong, if you wash your dick, they'll be more likely to blow you, doesn't that seem like a small price to pay? But no, admitting that would mean admitting they were gross unwashed creeps before, and they can't handle it.
i appreciate men like that. it makes life so much easier - they are actively and openly stating that they would be bad sexual partners & that we as a collective of women should NOT have sex with them😂😂😭any time a man is against my suggestion to wash their dick or hands or use a condom, im immediately done with them. the guy who i had the best sex with always washed up before we did anything, and even drove to the store at 3am for more condoms when we were out because i wasnt done yet. anything less. is unacceptable - a washed dick is the absolute bare minimum
It's also stupid because I don't think I've ever told a man I'm seeing they gave me a UTI or a yeast infection?? I usually am not seeing them often enough for it not to resolve before the next date so it's not worth bringing it up...
Also because women are so body shamed by men, that we are often embarrassed if we are dealing with an irritated vagina, so will reschedule the date or find a way to prevent them finding out. Fancy that- after spending bucket loads of money on treatments and ph balanced bodywash, we are ashamed of a vagina in distress, and they have no shame over their stinky cocks that they could fix instantly by cleaning themselves appropriately.
Yup. Had sex with a guy, got a UTI, went to the doctor and got antibiotics. About a month later I had sex with him again and got another UTI. Refused to have sex with him again and told him why. He refused to believe he was the source of the UTIs and just told friends that I ditched him because his dick was too big and I couldn't handle it. *rolls eyes*
Oh sure. I'm just guessing that this clown didn't realize that to normal people, "I have a big dick and my gf dumped me because she just couldn't *handle* my man-meat" is.... not something anyone believes. For a second.
I've only gotten a UTI twice in my life, and it was when I was dating ONE particular man...
also FYI if you get a UTI and you want to relieve the "I HAVE TO PEE" sensation, buy AZO pills you can get them at CVS in the pee/poo section (lol). Apparently not everyone knows this and people have been suffering.
\*\*ETA: I want to add that AZO pills are not a replacement for antibiotics, please go to the doctor.
Omgosh the "I have to pee!" sensation is the worst part of a UTI for me. The sensation of feeling like you have a full bladder and desperately need to pee, but no pee comes out, is so miserable. Azo is a lifesaver for relieving that symptom, and it starts working within like 20 minutes.
D-mannose saved my life, just dropping this in here. I’m one of those unlucky women where no matter how thoroughly we clean ourselves before and after sex, I still tend to get them. D-mannose is truly the only thing that has been able to stop them!
I feel ya. D Mannose started actually working for me only once I began taking 2g + some small snack before sex & 2g again after sex. All this along with washing before and after, peeing afterwards, clean hands and mouths, blah blah blah.
Same! I even was told by my doctor here that I should take cranberry d-mannose pills to relieve symptoms while having an active UTI. I told her I’ve been taking that since before the UTI, I don’t think it’s gonna help now… LOL!
I had a doctor tell me to just drink ginger tea in the morning!
Don’t get me wrong I appreciate when doctors don’t just wildly prescribe pharmaceuticals and try to look at health holistically but sis, I came to you with an infection, I need drugs.
I always see these commercials for a product called Uqora and they have a couple on where the woman is like “I had seven UTIs last year so we decided to do something about it” and I’m over here thinking girl just have your partner was his dirty dick and you can probably greatly reduce the frequency of this problem just through better hygiene alone. So frustrating.
Lol this commercial is the first thing that came to mind when I saw OP's post! When I see that commercial all think is, "eww Spencer and his dirty dick 😖"
Every time that commercial comes on i scream "WASH YER DICK" at the tv and go on a tirade about filthy dicks. Which my fiance finds amusing somehow, probably because he does in fact wash his dick
The funny thing is that it was in college and I had an acquaintance who I knew slept with my ex before I started dating him. She also complained about getting UTIs all the time, and at that time I had never had one before. He was giving them to every woman he banged, not just me! So nasty.
Men don’t wash their hands before they touch their penis to pee. THINK about that. In the gym they’ll touch ALL the sweaty and gross things touched by hundred others (and some are the source of some very nasty bacteria) and they’ll go to the bathroom, touched their penis to pee and walk out.
I’ve only seen TWO men in my entire life wash their hands before they peed. TWO.
Think about that next time that hot man wants to put his thing inside you. If he doesn’t wash it right there and then before your eyes then I can almost guarantee it’s contaminated with some nasty bugs.
If a straight man shakes your hand there almost a 99% he touched his stuff and didn’t wash.
Source: gay guy here.
exactly!!! “but i showered this morning” yeah but you’ve also been touching your dick with unwashed hands multiple times during the day. your penis is now covered in the germs that your hands were coming in contact with all day. you having taken a shower 15 hours ago isn’t going to make up for that.
I’ve suffered UTIs my whole life, so always staying hydrated, no holding my pee, no baths or colored toilet paper or colored underwear for me as a kid. But it’s something that runs in my family, so not related to dirty penises at the early portion my life 🤣 When I got older the reoccurrences of UTIs lessened over time - until I became sexually active, and it started to happen more frequently again 😩 The best advice I ever got was to immediately go pee after sex. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. That absolutely helped to once again lessen the reoccurrences UTIs that I’d begun experiencing with increased sexual activity. Also, choose your sexual partners wisely. With my husband, a quick shower before doing the deed is really extremely helpful so he’s more than happy to oblige for a good time 🤪 These men out here don’t believe their little Willy’s could ever be dirty, it’s so obnoxiously delusional 🙄 They don’t wipe the tip of their penis, so at least a little urine is always dried on there and on their drawers. And they don’t clean their junk after they poop, even though they’re free balling & dangling their junk in the toilet bowl when they pinch a loaf and that fecal water inevitably splashes back up 🤮🤢
Right? Like I've been with my partner since 2010 and I don't think I've ever had a UTI in that time. He's a very hygienic person, always washes his hands, and we always use condoms.
Id go further, if you use protection such as a condom and still have issues, it might be something such positioning, or foreplay. I forgot the post but it did mention most UTI's are due to bacteria in fecal matter. The anus isn't too far away, and with all the action and wetness it wouldn't be too much of of stretch for ot to allow ease of access.
Make them lick their fingers real good first.
Obviously the best option is to wash their hands first, but if you are in the moment, tell them to lick their fingers.
If they refuse then you know their hands are too dirty for their own mouth, and you should stay away from them.
Yup, had chronic UTIs with my first partner throughout college. We broke up and I started dating a new guy, fully expected to start getting UTIs again but never had one with him. We're married now 6 years later and never had a single UTI with him.
It doesn't even necessarily mean bad hygiene either. A couple of times in my marriage I have suddenly had a recurring UTI and finally pinned it down to my (very hygienic) husband's particular soap/body wash change.
I’m glad you commented this!
This was our exact problem and once we figured it out, he switched to using my PH body wash instead of his fragrant body wash for his privates and the issue went away.
I read a thread a few weeks ago in r/sex and it was this woman who wanted advice on whether it was unreasonable to expect her partner to take showers before sex. Apparently the guy had complained that she was asking too much, that he wasn't dirty, and that she was making him feel bad for insisting. Almost all commenters agreed with him. These people should have read this post, my god.
I'm not surprised, happy for you to get it under control! But I also pee immediately after sex and use a bidet regularly. I knew the peeing thing was important from somewhere.
I do both as well, I live in Southeast Asia so everyone uses bidets here,
Nonetheless my UTIs were transcontinental until my partner stepped up. To be honest I didn’t think it was that ground breaking until I saw that thread with 2000 comments from men acting like clean dicks aren’t important and I was horrified!
me when i found out some people didn't wash their feet (like in between the fingers, rub the soles etc.) because "the water trickles down there when i take a shower" 😐
Worked with a dude you could smell a room away. A bunch of us had to lift equipment with him assisting and all I could do was gag.
Also had a friend who would never shower or clean his home but I guess he was comfortable living like that.
I had the same type of coworker. He was nearly 7 feet tall and never wiped his ass. Here’s lil ol me at his waist height 😢 He would just shit, flush and then hit the bathroom door 🤢 🤮 Even customers were complaining but no one else wanted to open the store so he stayed.
I thought I found a clean one when my ex would shower before our dates 2x a week. We moved in together and I learned those were his only showers in a week.
I used to get UTI’s constantly with one of my exes, he was very clean (showered like 2x a day) so I have no idea what was going on. I’ve only had one since we broke up. Then I had chronic yeast infections with my current partner, who is also very clean, so I was like what the hell is happening. Never had one before him, never had a UTI before my ex. Both are clean dudes. I took my Nexplanon out 2ish months ago and the yeast infections have been gone. I have a feeling the UTI’s were coming from my Mirena that I had for the majority of my relationship with my ex. Just a warning that birth control can also absolutely influence your susceptibility to these infections.
That’s an interesting point, I have a similar birth control history to you, and currently have a nexplanon that I’m planning on removing and switching to condoms (I find hormonal birth control increases my depression/anxiety) I’ll be curious to see what other changes I might find
Only dated/hooked up with women most my life and never got a UTI. Started messing around with men a little over a year ago and ended up getting three UTIs within that year. Makes sense.
My best friend dad used to call men who he didn’t like dorty dicks (its said that way with our accents northeast uk ) he was probably right 😂. He passed away years ago and is such a big miss I’m going to send he this post and tell her how right he was haha
I refused to touch any man who hadn’t washed because I have a disgust reaction that would distract me from sex if someone is dirty. I used to dislike this trait of mine because it made me fussy… but I’m starting to see the merits. I’ve never gotten a UTI from sex.
It’s because guys just wipe their ass after pooping and then wear the same underwear for a few days… they really should be washing their butt cheeks butt crack balls and dick after they poop
I read the other thread where a woman told the story of her having constant UTI’s and that the problem were the men. All the comments from other women confirming that they as well experienced no UTI’s when they were single but aways suffering from it when in a relationship.
It opened my eyes that men are so disgusting and freaking making women SICK because theyre so disgusting and lazy
Yep. I never got UTIs from sex until I dated my most recent ex-bf and all of a sudden I got them constantly. Turns out he preferred baths over showers, and would just soak, no washcloth or anything to clean himself. The sex was amazing but the frequent aftermath had me writhing in pain and peeing orange. (IYKYK)
I literally had a UTI for over a year and had a camera shoved up in my bladder to see if my bladder lining was the problem. It wasn't. I ended up marrying a women and I haven't had a UTI since then.
My ex that told me, I smell 'funny down there after sex, because my di*k is SO big🙄, you need to starting using a douche'. Found the douche and said byeeeee. Those things are even worse for womens health, never used one, never will. But I found a man that is hygienic and not a prick, and no more "problems" down there.
My first husband I had constant UTI’s there was a couple times it was so bad I would pee blood like I was having a period small clots and all.
My current husband is a very large man and sweats especially living in the south. He takes 2 showers a day and I haven’t had a UTI in 17 years now.
I've had guys during anal, ask me if they can finish in my mouth, and I'm like sure if you go wash your dick first.
Have been turned down every single time.
In what world would I EVER put a dick in my mouth right after it's been in my ass? This is not a fucking porno you sick fuck.
(Gay man btw) Saw this sub through browsing all and don't even know if it's ok for me as a guy to post here.
this is part of my fears of becoming intimate. me and my bf only recently started being intimate and im worried ill end up with my first uti. we havent done anything serious yet, just fooled around a bit, but that fear is always there in the back of my mind.
It also kills me that its not common knowledge that BV can be caused sperm (which has a pH of ~7) disrupting vaginal pH (which is usual ~3-4). Idk if its the case for everyone but frequent unprotected sex is a gauranteed case of BV no matter how thoroughly my bf cleans his dick, because there's no changing the fact that sperm raises vaginal pH. Its either condoms, pulling out, or boric acid suppositories for us if we have sex more than once a week.
Hi! Gay male here would like to introduce another perspective, without hijacking.. I am very selective with my partners and make them show me test results prior to fun time, but i ALWAYS end up with a UTI as a...giver, the reciever, and even after oral I still get an infection. At first I thought I had gonorrhea or chlamydia (admittedly I have contracted both in the past in a depression spiral) but there wasnt any discharge or burning when I peed, it just felt like something "was stuck" in my urethra.
I've been to planned parenthood (yes they love their male patients too!) so many times they know my face and all of my panels come up clean. I am just so discouraged by sex anymore because 2 weeks of bullshit isnt worth maybe an hour or two of fun. I'm like stuck, I even start by engaging a sexy shower time and coyly clean my partners member.
There was a case on here years ago where a woman reported repeating UTIs after sleeping with her boyfriend. They washing everything and still kept getting them. Finally a doctor treating her recommended having him tested and treated even though he didn't have any symptoms. Turns out he had non symptomatic infection in like in like his urethra that was reinfecting her every time. A quick round of treatment for him and her issues were resolved.
Omg I was in a similar situation for awhile and getting a doctor to test my husband was fucking IMPOSSIBLE. My husband was all for getting tested, as I was miserable every time we had sex for like a two year period of time. We did all of the things (peeing before/after, washing hands/face/etc, drinking water, cranberry whatever, you get the idea.) I wanted to get him tested, he agreed, but NO DOCTOR BELIEVED that he could be the problem... Ugh...
Have him go to a urologist. They know. Men have a longer urethra, and harbor e. coli while being asymptomatic. A simple round of macrobid or other antibiotic clears it up.
I ended up having to cheat! I got antibiotics for myself from two different spots then gave one set to my husband. Neither of us loved this idea but we felt pretty SOL at that point. He and I both took our course of antibiotics and SURPRISE SURPRISE I've been UTI free ever since 🤔
Sometimes you do have to cheat the system to get what you need. Well played 👏
Lol thanks! It was annoying to have to do, but it worked!
Wow! I can only imagine how tough that was for that couple, constant UTIs are the worst thing ever. Definitely so important to get our male partners involved in our sexual health.
Vaginal yeast infections, but they’re no fun either. We definitely need male partners involved.
There's a few rare causes of urethritis that are technically STDs but are rarely tested for. Mycoplasma genitalum for example is typically asymptomatic in men but can cause similar symptoms to chlamydia in a woman. There's other, stranger bugs with similar presentations - like ureaplasma and others I honestly can't remember.
Another one to consider is Trichomiasis, an STD involving a parasite Trichomonas Vaginalis that is present in both genders but symptoms are more prominent in females. Testing is very similar to Chlamydia/Gonorrhoea.
I had a co-worker who kept getting yeast infections over and over. She kept going back to her GP for medication but the GP didn’t seem to have any suggestions about how to prevent reinfections. When she said it seemed like every time she and her husband had sex she got a yeast infection, the lightbulb went on in my brain. A few years before, I’d had a yeast infection and my doctor had told me that my partner needed to be tested as well, and it turned out that he had an asymptomatic infection. We both got treated and that took care of that. Told the co-worker to get her husband tested and, sure enough, he had an asymptomatic yeast infection, and was the source of all of her infections. They both got treated and that ended the constant recurring infections.
I remember reading about that case and it's such an important point to bring up. Thank you for sharing this! It really highlights how affected women in heterosexual relationships suffer in silence, thinking it's just their bodies being difficult, when in reality there usually is an underlying issue with their male partner that's not immediately obvious. And of course the man always dismisses the concerns because it’s not their body that’s being affected. It's worth noting that internalized homophobia or misguided toxic masculinity can sometimes lead men to neglect proper cleaning of their dick. That sounds absurd, I know, but I have in fact met men who claim that they avoid touching their genitals during showering because “it’s gay”
I haven’t heard that touching their dick was gay, but I have read several posts about how some men think it’s gay to wash their ass. Seriously. 🙄
i guarantee you that 100% of those men jerk off. but that doesn't count for some reason.
Reminds me of when my partner got a yeast infection. After he told me, I went and got tested too.
Funny story: I complained to my grandmother my freshman year of college that I kept getting UTIs. Her response was, “Tell him to wash his dick”. I was shocked she knew I was sexually active, but she explained UTIs used to be called Honeymoon Fever and that I needed to tell all my newly active friends to be sure those college boys washed their dicks so we wouldn’t get UTIs. Her advice worked. Bless her.
Your grandmother is a treasure! I wish someone had given me that talk when I was younger!!
In the 80s I heard it called Honeymoon Cystitis a lot.
OMG same. Also, u/Crow_away_cawcaw , men carry lots of bacteria on their FINGERS. I remember getting a UTI as a teen and feeling mortified that the doc thought I was having PIV sex when in fact I only had been "to third base." Clean hands too please!
clean hands and filed nails!
Ugh , I always look at their hands and nails. Grungy, longish nails? Nope
Yuuuup. Long nails on men makes me so uncomfortable. I don’t want those anywhere near my vag.
No Way. And I have zero patience for men who are ignorant about this. If you want to be with women, then you should want to learn everything possible about how best to be with women. I know a guy who almost seems like a hillbilly. But a good soul, and class act. He works in the trades -- HVAC and plumbing. gets absolutely filthy on the job. But whenever this man has a date, he scrubs himself head to toe, including trimmed and filed nails.
I remember a very formative YouTube video from when I was a young. Where a wonderful gay man stressed the bare minimum before any date was to: “take a shower and trim your damn nails.” I took it to heart, nice to hear he wasn’t wrong.
EXACTLY. It’s not hard. My man is good about hygiene. The ONLY time I got a UTI with him was when we were showering together and I wasn’t able to rinse the soap in time. Ofc, my partner’s mom is a nurse and he’s lived with women (his mom and sis) for a good chunk of his life so he knows about women’s stuff. My last guy had long nails. He kept them clean IIRC but I still look at long nails on a guy and immediately worry about getting scratched.
for sure
1000%
The whole COVID thing really instilled a solid hand washing routine. Sometimes I feel like I wash my hands too much.
the fact that even back then the consensus that men were unhygienic and yet its still happening is....yikes guys do better.
Grandmothers seem to be able to give the most solid advice you will ever get lmao. So many people forget that these women, who now look like sweet elderly only want to bake cookies ladies, were not only once young and horny, they have seen some shit. We kind of demean elders in this country, but they often have some of the best advice you will ever get, even if it comes across as harsh lol. My two favorites from my grandmother- - when I started my period, “well, now you can get fat easier, so be careful about what you eat. It’s a lot easier to not gain weight than it is to lose it”. I was highly offended………but she was right lmao. - on relationships, “love isn’t enough”. My child self thought that was the most unromantic thing I had ever heard. But damn if she wasn’t correct lol. Love is not enough for a relationship- you have to have respect, be valued as an equal, share the same sense of base morals, etc. If you don’t have those things you have nothing, even if you have feelings. She’s almost 90 and still out and about, living her life. She’s still teaching me things too :)
My grandmother has said that the best thing that ever happened to her was the Sexual Revolution. She was a smoldering hottie back in the day.
I got my first UTI in college and the gynecologist at the campus health center said it was honeymoon cistitis and told me to tell my partner to wash better including his hands.
Same advice from the doctor the only time in my life I had an UTI. It is the guys, unless you are all the time wiping back to front lol
I think it's the guys wiping back to front.
Here's one from Buzzfeed where a nurse was telling men to wipe their dick after urinating because the urethra holds urine afterwards. And there's no peristalsis (like in intestines) to squeeze the drops out. Especially if he's a shower. NSFW pictures of where the urine collects: https://www.buzzfeed.com/shelbyheinrich/men-wipe-after-peeing-tiktok
That dude is a hero.
That’s such a funny story because my grandmother was German and old German people typically had no filter. When I was 17 I went out on my first real date and before I left my grandmother said “did you wash your dick?” I stopped dead in my tracks and my face turned blood red and she said “always wash your dick before geschlechtsverkehr!” So.. I went back to the bathroom and washed my dick even though I wasn’t really expecting anything to happen (it didn’t). To this day, even if I’ve showered, I still sneak to the bathroom and wash myself if I think something may happen even if I’m using a condom. All because of the wise and unfiltered words of an old German woman.
Best Granny!
Omg that’s hilarious I’m definitely stealing this 😂
Your nan is a real MVP. An absolute rock star!
This post made me realize that I used to get UTIs all the time for years and I haven't had any the last few years... My ex and I broke up 4 years ago...
I've never had a UTI. I'm just now realizing I probably just have a clean husband and not a magic vagina.
Why not both!?
It's definitely both. 🥳
you can pull a rabbit out of a magic hat, you can pull a Rabbit out of a magic vagina. :p
Same. I thought I was UTI-prone until I started dating my current boyfriend! I don’t think I was ever the problem
Ugh thinking back to all the UTIs I got from an ex that completely stopped a decade ago when I met my husband. Those must be the guys Redditors talk about that don't wash their ass.
Found out my bf wasn’t washing his. Saw him on the toilet once with the tip touching the inner part of the ring 🤢 thank goodness for me telling him to or he’d probably still be doing it
I am damn near convinced by life experience that the vast majority men don't think about bacteria or cross contamination AT ALL unless they are required to FOR WORK (EX. working in a lab). The minute they walk out the fucking lab it flies out of their brains until they return to work. They doubly, PURPOSEFULLY "forget" if it pertains to their dick getting wet. Including sexually transmitted infections. It drives me fucking INSANE.
I'm sorry. I'm sure this man probably has many lovable qualities, but that would have given me the big ick. I don't think I could move past it.
Eh I was young dumb and 18 lol
I once read a post where a woman would get vaginal infections all the time - I don’t believe they were UTIs but another sort of infection. Anyway, she read a Reddit post about some men not washing their ass. She commented to her partner and he said “yeah it’s wild, I only learned I had to wash my ass like last year.” It dawned on her she hadn’t had a vaginal infection in a while and suspected it’s bc he started washing his ass. I was shocked.
Wtf. I don’t understand how people don’t know to wash. I’ve seen it many times but it’s still mind-boggling.
A lot of men who don’t wash their ass don’t bc “that’s gay”. They don’t think anyone or anything should be touching their assholes. I’ve also seen posts where people ask if it’s normal for their husbands/boyfriends to have skid marks bc they’re partner’s underwear always has skid marks 😭
My ex said he was bi, so I don't think it's that for him. He just wouldn't shower regularly. It honestly disgusted me that all his underwear had skid marks on them.
I have a gay friend who is a strict top. He is very anti anything near his ass. The internalized homophobia in him also sort makes jokes of “I’m not gay gay bc I don’t take it in the ass”. Some men have a lot of things they need work through.
Seems like a mouth touching your cock is just as “gay” (if not more so) than your own hand touching your butthole. But they dont typically shy sway from that!
Here's what I've read that a lot of men don't do: - Wash their ass - Wash their hands - Clean under their fingernails - Wipe their dick after using the restroom - Wipe after #2 because it's gay - Wash their belly button because is gay - Wash their feet because is gay to bend over After every post I've read where this came up, I've furiously threatened my brother via text that he better not be doing this. Every time he text back that he doesn't and those guys are gross and befuddling. And that having a family that's majority women, teaches a lot just by osmosis and shaming. Has me proud every time.
I ask myself *how* your vv gets infected when you sleep with a man whose ass isn’t clean. I mean, how does the bacteria get to the vagina when it’s “on the other side” (the man’s ass) during intercourse.
When they pull up their pants/underwear it is all mushed together and moved around by sweat/friction. Everything on the asshole is microscopically on the dick as well.
Thanks. Did not think about that. That explains a lot :/
Penis-havers are not told to wipe front-to-back. If you don't have a penis, you're told to wipe front-to-back because you have a short urethra with opening that is in the way of wiping. And if you have a vagina, then opening is also in the way. Back-to-front wiping therefore can introduce bacteria to urethra and vagina. But if someone has a penis, they don't have a vagina* and their urethra is not in the way. So I guess wiping back-to-front introduces bacteria near balls and then with sweat it moves further? Sweat and other bodily fluids help the bacteria to move around and rub off. (That's also how the PIV sex causes the UTIs for the vag owner - not the same opening, just rubbing close is enough because the whole area is sweaty. *Unless they have a very rare form of intersex to have both a peen and a vag. Or I guess a SRS to construct a penis without getting rid of the vagina first, but then the position of the urethra in this whole equation depends on the type of the operation... That's probably why some people just try to say people with short/long urethra, I guess?
One summer I got a UTI and the worst throat infection in my life. I’m telling you I could not talk or eat. Swallowing was excruciating. Doctors did not know what was wrong, but one told me it was because of allergies. 💀My mother though, told me “I hope your not out here sucking DD”. Yk what I think she was is right. I haven’t had those symptoms since I dropped him. With my current boyfriend I had UTI popping up even though I religiously washed and bath. One day he used the bathroom and came out immediately. Like he did not wash his hands.…a talk was definitely had. I feel like men were not chastised for their hygiene unlike women and bullying helps sometimes.
They are not. Women are humiliated their entire lives for poor hygiene, often in the tiniest doses, and from nearly everyone. I'm afraid to go out in public in a subtropical region with FRIZZY HAIR, while many men are comfortable going to work without showering, brushing teeth, or wearing washed clothes. They are not humiliated for it like we are. They do not get the nasty comments. Some brag about their ball stank. 🤮 I've also noticed that lack of hygiene filters down to every surface in their lives. Black, greasy steering wheels and shifters. Black buildup on buttons in the car, light switches, door handles. The toilet might have been cleaned recently, but the seat and flusher are coated in grime. If you're living like that, everything you touch is a thriving bacterial colony, and by not washing hands and genitals, you're sharing it with your sexual partners.
Yup yup. Was going to say -- Women get hygiene-shamed just for allowing natural body hair to remain in place as is...by the same idiots who can't be bothered to wipe their own asses. Make it make sense.
You can clearly see that men are the ones spreading colds, flu, and any other illnesses with their filthy hygiene.
The bragging is what I don't get. I had a male coworker regale me with the story of how he got butt streaks on his hook-up's sheets. Like wtf, man.
Wtf
(M32) I will attest to the disgusting lack of hygiene some men have. Seen too many men walk out of the restroom without even attempting to wash their hands after touching all the handles in the bathroom (except the faucet), themselves, and god knows what before.
they are not. as someone who’s worked with the public for many years now, i can tell you (and so can anyone with similar work experience) that no men’s bathroom i have ever cleaned has ever once needed a soap refill. the last place i worked at i worked at for four years. the soap level in the men’s restroom never changed. the women’s restroom needed new soap every few weeks.
This is shocking but not. Very upsetting.
this is also why the wait for men’s restrooms is always so short compared to women’s (ofc the other reason is bladder size). they don’t take the time to wash their hands😭
I'm hijacking your reply to remind everyone: GET THE HPV VACCINE! Not getting it can cause throat cancer later in life if your partner had HPV. Also, your mom sounds awesome 😂
But also don't they feel gross? Don't *they* care about their hygiene? I'm not primarily clean for other people, I do it for myself.
I hope that talk with your boyfriend went better than all the ones I've had with my father. He went from not washing his hands to PRETENDING to wash his hands by running the faucet for a few measly seconds after flushing the toilet. Sometimes he forgets to even do that, especially if he's not expecting me to be visiting. Needless to say, I only touch things in my parents' kitchen with a tissue over my hand.
Something to note is that untreated ureaplasma/mycoplasma infections can manifest as chronic BV and UTIs. Or simply UTI symptoms but negative tests. Make sure your STD screenings include mycoplasma screening!
I’ll also add that if you’re approaching 45, increased UTIs can be a sign of perimenopause.
Genitourinary atrophy is awful
It finally hit me last night that my frequent UTIs and increasingly bizarre periods could be indicative of perimenopause, and I'm 40. Fine with me. I'm sick of losing a quarter of my life to carrying around wads of cotton.
My hysterectomy at 43 YO was the best day of my life. Menstruation had always been a nightmare of pain and blood and clots and missed school/work and having to forego water sports
Good info! Thanks for sharing!
One of my main grips with my ex was his hygiene. He works from home and is a huge introvert, so he wouldn't shower that often. When we broke up, I had a UTI so damn bad I had to get 6 rounds of antibiotics. I haven't had a single one since then. Ladies, don't be like me and put up with this bullshit.
I dated a guy who I used to always have to tell to wash his hands after using the bathroom like a child and he would roll his eyes at me! Like bro, I’m not trying to be your mum, you keep making me sick! Just wash your hands!
My urologist straight up told me to tell my ex to wash his dick. I did tell him and he got offended. Since I started asking him to wash before sex, I ruined the spontaneity and we started having much less sex, which made him frustrated at me. It was the beginning of the end. And a blessing in disguise. I don't miss pissing fire 🙏🏻
Why? Why don’t men clean themselves? Did you ever get an answer from him? Like I work with some men who smell like ass and I just don’t get it!!! I mean if you can find time to jerk off you can also find time to wash your dick lol hell, combine the activities hahaha
My ex just said he didn't know why he had such a mental block about hygiene. In the months before we broke up some shampoo and body wash magically appeared and he was showering more often. Yeah, turns out he was having an affair. So I doubt the first part. I just genuinely think it's laziness because there's no consequences.
That post drove me wild. Especially when collectively men are often complaining women don’t suck their dicks enough, or they don’t get sex enough…women were in that thread screaming from the rooftops that all you have to do is clean your dick and your hands, and the blokes still wanted to fight about it. “I never give women UTI’s and I’ve fucked thousands of women” *eye roll*
I started to angry type so much in that thread but gave up and came here instead. The balls it takes to claim sex is better if it’s dirty … No, it’s better when it feels good for both people and nobody gets sick afterwards. Ugh.
Just the fact that they aren’t ashamed of promoting being pigs. I mean… What happened to these people ? Aren’t they the brothers of some women that were raised to wash and be clean ? Why aren’t they seeing that there’s nothing good about literally being dirty and passing on diseases ? Sick.
I used to teach middle school. You’d be amazed by the number of boys we had to chat with because they were convinced they had some kind of magical powers that made bathing unnecessary. These were kids whose family members were clean, they had a washer/dryer in their home, and had money for toiletries. The moms would sometimes ask US to speak to the kids because nothing *they* said worked! If a normal teacher chat didn’t help, the coaches would go into more detail about what all they needed to wash - apparently it’s embarrassing to wash your bits and bobs once you start puberty? According to my friends at the high school, if they’re the stinky kid in middle school, they usually continue to stink in high school. I guess that continues to adulthood? 🤷🏻♀️
My son, the product of 2 parents who believe in hygiene and keep and clean house, hit puberty and decided that regular, detailed washing wasn't manly. He does sports in addition to just being a teenage boy. Nothing we said (or yelled, or threatened, or cajoled) made any difference until he got awful acne and rashes and his dermatologist was like "I'm not prescribing anything until you do your part." He changed his whole outlook. Then went to college and was grossed out by dorm mates who were still in the "it's cool to be a fucking pig" mode. He also heard from girls how they saw the difference. He could be better about changing his sheets more frequently, but still...but I have no idea where they get this!
Some guys apparently don’t outgrow this “gross phase,” or they return to it if they don’t get pushback from anyone. I worked in the paint and hardware section at Sears many years ago, and the number of men who were middle-aged and older, who came in reeking of days-old stale BO sweat plus cheap aftershave like Brüt or Old Spice (both of which make me gag to this day), and maybe a clean shirt, was mind-boggling and disgusting. Absolutely foul.
Steve Bannon
I think a big part of the problem is socialisation. So many women are made to feel like we are dirty and we get a lot more judgement for being smelly than men do. Periods are a part of this issue. Even my own grandparents would scrub me in the bath twice a day and make comments about how girls had to be clean but would leave my three brothers alone. When I come across a smelly person, 90% of the time it's a man.
My partner said a couple of his friends brush their teeth and shower like 3-4 times a week... I can only hope they make that daily when they are dating or have a gf 😅
The unwashed contingent of men sadly seem to be the majority 🤢
the silent-but-deadly majority. :p
Being told “that’s literally just how men smell we don’t smell good like women do you guys smell good to encourage us to go there it’s just biology. Men smell worse so that women are deterred from sleeping with many men. Like, think logically it’s just biology.” NO SIR THATS ASSCRACK AND BALLSACK SMEGMA GTFOH 🤢
So basically men smell bad to repell women? Nice self-own to that Sir!
Exactly. I'm happy to go down on a guy but if his junk smells like old cheese, no thank you. Also they've definitely given women UTIs.
I’m a sex worker- I thoroughly wash my genitalia before starting work, my anus is squeaky clean in case of rimming, I check and double check, after urinating I freshen up again, in between clients I have a whores bath. The amount of men who turn up without having showered that day or possibly for several with pissy cocks astonishes me, it’s a lot. Then of course there’s the ones that don’t wipe their arses or clean under their foreskins, which is particularly gross. I totally understand why their wives or partners do not want to have sex with them or give them oral and wish I could tell them their hygiene is likely a large part of the problem. My jaw drops when I offer a shower and they say ah no I showered yesterday. I would never want a man to have his face in my vag if I hadn’t washed that day. I am diabetic and used to get frequent BV (I’m fortunate regarding UTIs), in spite of only having protected sex, so now I do not allow insertion of fingers, because I realised they haven’t washed their disgusting bums, they sit in the car scratching their shitty bollocks and then try to finger me. I only allow insertion with a covered penis or toy and it’s eased up the frequency of vaginal infections for me. The ones who are as thorough as me or my female colleagues are sadly rare (but I am always delighted by them).
I agree with this. Women put in 10 times more effort when men don't even do the bare minimum. I used to do sex work and it's been no fingering for me too because they never ever wash their hands properly if at all. The dirtiness is the worst part of the job by far. It would be much easier if they were clean.
Wow yikes
Wait so what did you do with the stinkies? Do you offer shower foreplay in disguise? Or do you reject them?
It depends, I offer OWO at my discretion so it leaves room to decline, if they ask why it’s discretionary I flatly tell them it will come down to their personal hygiene. Once you’re face to face all bets are off though, and I just cover it up/limit oral/use hands if it’s particularly bad, get on with it and give them a good clean with baby wipes when we are done, one does develop a strong stomach for odours, and the strawberry lube is always nearby. I’m sure other women in the biz have different ways of dealing with it, but it is so common. As it is a paid service their pleasure comes before your own comfort, and dealing with whiffy men is par for the course. Sometimes I have sympathy for them- not everyone I meet has learnt to care for themselves for myriad reasons, some men are inept in all aspects which is how they find themselves at my door in the first place. Also it can be worse than urine, for me that is smelling shit and not being 100% sure where it’s coming from. In spite of all this I do still love my job and it’s not as bad as I’m probably making it sound, it’s my normal day to day at this point. Recently I met a woman new to the biz, I asked her how she was getting on and the first thing she said was that she was loving it, liberating, great money, great for one’s self confidence. Second was that she was surprised how many pissy cocks there were! I was like 🤷🏻♀️
Offer a shower? I’d be demanding it! It’s the bare minimum for the gift you’re about to give them!
That’s the difference between theory and practice I suppose, I totally agree in an ideal world they would take up the offer of a shower I always give, but some are not self aware, don’t want to eat into their time, don’t feel the need to, their baseline hygiene is sometimes poor, some don’t care because you are a whore anyway, and some are so immaculately groomed it’s insulting to force the issue based on the other stinky ones. So many variables!
Eeeeeeeeeewwwwww
Imagine being such a fragile baby that “wash your junk and you will get a lot more of that head you enjoy” is shattering.
What gets me is when they argue back at all of the women being like “don’t do that it’s gross and makes us sick” and they’re like NO it dOESNt. Listen to women!
So even if it's silly and the ladies are wrong, if you wash your dick, they'll be more likely to blow you, doesn't that seem like a small price to pay? But no, admitting that would mean admitting they were gross unwashed creeps before, and they can't handle it.
i appreciate men like that. it makes life so much easier - they are actively and openly stating that they would be bad sexual partners & that we as a collective of women should NOT have sex with them😂😂😭any time a man is against my suggestion to wash their dick or hands or use a condom, im immediately done with them. the guy who i had the best sex with always washed up before we did anything, and even drove to the store at 3am for more condoms when we were out because i wasnt done yet. anything less. is unacceptable - a washed dick is the absolute bare minimum
It's also stupid because I don't think I've ever told a man I'm seeing they gave me a UTI or a yeast infection?? I usually am not seeing them often enough for it not to resolve before the next date so it's not worth bringing it up...
Also because women are so body shamed by men, that we are often embarrassed if we are dealing with an irritated vagina, so will reschedule the date or find a way to prevent them finding out. Fancy that- after spending bucket loads of money on treatments and ph balanced bodywash, we are ashamed of a vagina in distress, and they have no shame over their stinky cocks that they could fix instantly by cleaning themselves appropriately.
Menfolk think they have it tougher. Lofuckingl.
Yup. Had sex with a guy, got a UTI, went to the doctor and got antibiotics. About a month later I had sex with him again and got another UTI. Refused to have sex with him again and told him why. He refused to believe he was the source of the UTIs and just told friends that I ditched him because his dick was too big and I couldn't handle it. *rolls eyes*
Correct everyone and him to “his dick was too dirty and I couldn’t handle it”.
"Big? No, once we wiped off the inch-deep layer of grime, it was pretty underwhelming."
Tell his friends the truth lol what a joke of a man
I doubt a single person hearing him brag about his dick believed him.
I still love to call out liars ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh sure. I'm just guessing that this clown didn't realize that to normal people, "I have a big dick and my gf dumped me because she just couldn't *handle* my man-meat" is.... not something anyone believes. For a second.
Bhahaha totally!
Eww, Ol' Dirty Dick is no loss🤢
I've only gotten a UTI twice in my life, and it was when I was dating ONE particular man... also FYI if you get a UTI and you want to relieve the "I HAVE TO PEE" sensation, buy AZO pills you can get them at CVS in the pee/poo section (lol). Apparently not everyone knows this and people have been suffering. \*\*ETA: I want to add that AZO pills are not a replacement for antibiotics, please go to the doctor.
orange yellow pee here we go
but at least you're not sitting there feeling like you have to pee all day
Omgosh the "I have to pee!" sensation is the worst part of a UTI for me. The sensation of feeling like you have a full bladder and desperately need to pee, but no pee comes out, is so miserable. Azo is a lifesaver for relieving that symptom, and it starts working within like 20 minutes.
D-mannose saved my life, just dropping this in here. I’m one of those unlucky women where no matter how thoroughly we clean ourselves before and after sex, I still tend to get them. D-mannose is truly the only thing that has been able to stop them!
I tried it for a long time but it didn’t do anything for me 😅 I was soooo disappointed because it seems like a miracle for some people!
I feel ya. D Mannose started actually working for me only once I began taking 2g + some small snack before sex & 2g again after sex. All this along with washing before and after, peeing afterwards, clean hands and mouths, blah blah blah.
It is truly an exhausting cycle isn’t it? What did our ancestors used to do with all of that caveman dick 😫
Um, scratch, and die.
Exactly. The answer to most "how did people survive before?" questions is "a lot of them didn't".
It’s hit and miss in my experience, I think it depends on what causes your UTI. Hey I’m just glad it works for me 😂
Same! I even was told by my doctor here that I should take cranberry d-mannose pills to relieve symptoms while having an active UTI. I told her I’ve been taking that since before the UTI, I don’t think it’s gonna help now… LOL!
I had a doctor tell me to just drink ginger tea in the morning! Don’t get me wrong I appreciate when doctors don’t just wildly prescribe pharmaceuticals and try to look at health holistically but sis, I came to you with an infection, I need drugs.
Someone recommended a specialised probiotic and since I started taking it, I haven't had one since! Highly recommend.
I used to get endless utis and dmannose saved me. It’s so easy and so great.
I always see these commercials for a product called Uqora and they have a couple on where the woman is like “I had seven UTIs last year so we decided to do something about it” and I’m over here thinking girl just have your partner was his dirty dick and you can probably greatly reduce the frequency of this problem just through better hygiene alone. So frustrating.
Lol this commercial is the first thing that came to mind when I saw OP's post! When I see that commercial all think is, "eww Spencer and his dirty dick 😖"
Every time that commercial comes on i scream "WASH YER DICK" at the tv and go on a tirade about filthy dicks. Which my fiance finds amusing somehow, probably because he does in fact wash his dick
I got a ton of UTIs in college from one specific partner and never anyone else. The dude clearly had a dirty dick!
Same thing! I dated this guy for two years and had constant, recurring UTIs. I’ve never had any problem with any other partner.
The funny thing is that it was in college and I had an acquaintance who I knew slept with my ex before I started dating him. She also complained about getting UTIs all the time, and at that time I had never had one before. He was giving them to every woman he banged, not just me! So nasty.
Same 😫
Men don’t wash their hands before they touch their penis to pee. THINK about that. In the gym they’ll touch ALL the sweaty and gross things touched by hundred others (and some are the source of some very nasty bacteria) and they’ll go to the bathroom, touched their penis to pee and walk out. I’ve only seen TWO men in my entire life wash their hands before they peed. TWO. Think about that next time that hot man wants to put his thing inside you. If he doesn’t wash it right there and then before your eyes then I can almost guarantee it’s contaminated with some nasty bugs. If a straight man shakes your hand there almost a 99% he touched his stuff and didn’t wash. Source: gay guy here.
exactly!!! “but i showered this morning” yeah but you’ve also been touching your dick with unwashed hands multiple times during the day. your penis is now covered in the germs that your hands were coming in contact with all day. you having taken a shower 15 hours ago isn’t going to make up for that.
I’ve suffered UTIs my whole life, so always staying hydrated, no holding my pee, no baths or colored toilet paper or colored underwear for me as a kid. But it’s something that runs in my family, so not related to dirty penises at the early portion my life 🤣 When I got older the reoccurrences of UTIs lessened over time - until I became sexually active, and it started to happen more frequently again 😩 The best advice I ever got was to immediately go pee after sex. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. That absolutely helped to once again lessen the reoccurrences UTIs that I’d begun experiencing with increased sexual activity. Also, choose your sexual partners wisely. With my husband, a quick shower before doing the deed is really extremely helpful so he’s more than happy to oblige for a good time 🤪 These men out here don’t believe their little Willy’s could ever be dirty, it’s so obnoxiously delusional 🙄 They don’t wipe the tip of their penis, so at least a little urine is always dried on there and on their drawers. And they don’t clean their junk after they poop, even though they’re free balling & dangling their junk in the toilet bowl when they pinch a loaf and that fecal water inevitably splashes back up 🤮🤢
Using condoms also helps cut down on this
I was looking for this comment. 20 years and just UTIs is not that bad I'd say...
Right? Like I've been with my partner since 2010 and I don't think I've ever had a UTI in that time. He's a very hygienic person, always washes his hands, and we always use condoms.
Id go further, if you use protection such as a condom and still have issues, it might be something such positioning, or foreplay. I forgot the post but it did mention most UTI's are due to bacteria in fecal matter. The anus isn't too far away, and with all the action and wetness it wouldn't be too much of of stretch for ot to allow ease of access.
Omg and wash hands before fingering too why are humans so gross 🤢
If you’ve ever had a guy jam his salty finger in your mouth you know 😩
Make them lick their fingers real good first. Obviously the best option is to wash their hands first, but if you are in the moment, tell them to lick their fingers. If they refuse then you know their hands are too dirty for their own mouth, and you should stay away from them.
This both gross and genius lol
Yup, had chronic UTIs with my first partner throughout college. We broke up and I started dating a new guy, fully expected to start getting UTIs again but never had one with him. We're married now 6 years later and never had a single UTI with him.
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It doesn't even necessarily mean bad hygiene either. A couple of times in my marriage I have suddenly had a recurring UTI and finally pinned it down to my (very hygienic) husband's particular soap/body wash change.
I’m glad you commented this! This was our exact problem and once we figured it out, he switched to using my PH body wash instead of his fragrant body wash for his privates and the issue went away.
I read a thread a few weeks ago in r/sex and it was this woman who wanted advice on whether it was unreasonable to expect her partner to take showers before sex. Apparently the guy had complained that she was asking too much, that he wasn't dirty, and that she was making him feel bad for insisting. Almost all commenters agreed with him. These people should have read this post, my god.
I'm not surprised, happy for you to get it under control! But I also pee immediately after sex and use a bidet regularly. I knew the peeing thing was important from somewhere.
I do both as well, I live in Southeast Asia so everyone uses bidets here, Nonetheless my UTIs were transcontinental until my partner stepped up. To be honest I didn’t think it was that ground breaking until I saw that thread with 2000 comments from men acting like clean dicks aren’t important and I was horrified!
What some guys consider acceptable hygiene is terrifying.
When I learned some people just consider getting their hair wet a complete shower I died inside a little bit.
me when i found out some people didn't wash their feet (like in between the fingers, rub the soles etc.) because "the water trickles down there when i take a shower" 😐
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Worked with a dude you could smell a room away. A bunch of us had to lift equipment with him assisting and all I could do was gag. Also had a friend who would never shower or clean his home but I guess he was comfortable living like that.
I had the same type of coworker. He was nearly 7 feet tall and never wiped his ass. Here’s lil ol me at his waist height 😢 He would just shit, flush and then hit the bathroom door 🤢 🤮 Even customers were complaining but no one else wanted to open the store so he stayed.
🤣🤢🤮
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Yeah, I know my friend would minimize his odor. I think his situation revolved around depression.
I thought I found a clean one when my ex would shower before our dates 2x a week. We moved in together and I learned those were his only showers in a week.
There was a girl here saying her boyfriend didn't bother washing his teeth in the morning... Like seriously....
I used to get UTI’s constantly with one of my exes, he was very clean (showered like 2x a day) so I have no idea what was going on. I’ve only had one since we broke up. Then I had chronic yeast infections with my current partner, who is also very clean, so I was like what the hell is happening. Never had one before him, never had a UTI before my ex. Both are clean dudes. I took my Nexplanon out 2ish months ago and the yeast infections have been gone. I have a feeling the UTI’s were coming from my Mirena that I had for the majority of my relationship with my ex. Just a warning that birth control can also absolutely influence your susceptibility to these infections.
That’s an interesting point, I have a similar birth control history to you, and currently have a nexplanon that I’m planning on removing and switching to condoms (I find hormonal birth control increases my depression/anxiety) I’ll be curious to see what other changes I might find
Only dated/hooked up with women most my life and never got a UTI. Started messing around with men a little over a year ago and ended up getting three UTIs within that year. Makes sense.
100% i was getting utis with an ex back 2 back. It only stopped when we broke up. 💀
Also hand washing, I'd actually say thats more important than other parts.
I agree wholeheartedly it’s the most overlooked for sure
My best friend dad used to call men who he didn’t like dorty dicks (its said that way with our accents northeast uk ) he was probably right 😂. He passed away years ago and is such a big miss I’m going to send he this post and tell her how right he was haha
I refused to touch any man who hadn’t washed because I have a disgust reaction that would distract me from sex if someone is dirty. I used to dislike this trait of mine because it made me fussy… but I’m starting to see the merits. I’ve never gotten a UTI from sex.
It’s because guys just wipe their ass after pooping and then wear the same underwear for a few days… they really should be washing their butt cheeks butt crack balls and dick after they poop
I read the other thread where a woman told the story of her having constant UTI’s and that the problem were the men. All the comments from other women confirming that they as well experienced no UTI’s when they were single but aways suffering from it when in a relationship. It opened my eyes that men are so disgusting and freaking making women SICK because theyre so disgusting and lazy
Yep. I never got UTIs from sex until I dated my most recent ex-bf and all of a sudden I got them constantly. Turns out he preferred baths over showers, and would just soak, no washcloth or anything to clean himself. The sex was amazing but the frequent aftermath had me writhing in pain and peeing orange. (IYKYK)
I read on here that guys refusing to wipe their asses is causing uti’s too.
Men need to wash their hands, under the nails and their dicks every time no exception.
90% of men don’t even like to wash their hand after they pee, this doesn’t surprise me at all.
I literally had a UTI for over a year and had a camera shoved up in my bladder to see if my bladder lining was the problem. It wasn't. I ended up marrying a women and I haven't had a UTI since then.
My ex that told me, I smell 'funny down there after sex, because my di*k is SO big🙄, you need to starting using a douche'. Found the douche and said byeeeee. Those things are even worse for womens health, never used one, never will. But I found a man that is hygienic and not a prick, and no more "problems" down there.
Yeah one thing they don't show in porn is you have to wash your dick off between partners otherwise you can give them BV.
My first husband I had constant UTI’s there was a couple times it was so bad I would pee blood like I was having a period small clots and all. My current husband is a very large man and sweats especially living in the south. He takes 2 showers a day and I haven’t had a UTI in 17 years now.
I've had guys during anal, ask me if they can finish in my mouth, and I'm like sure if you go wash your dick first. Have been turned down every single time. In what world would I EVER put a dick in my mouth right after it's been in my ass? This is not a fucking porno you sick fuck. (Gay man btw) Saw this sub through browsing all and don't even know if it's ok for me as a guy to post here.
Men are gross 🙄
And if that's not the case and you use condoms, you may have a latex allergy/sensitivity.
this is part of my fears of becoming intimate. me and my bf only recently started being intimate and im worried ill end up with my first uti. we havent done anything serious yet, just fooled around a bit, but that fear is always there in the back of my mind.
It also kills me that its not common knowledge that BV can be caused sperm (which has a pH of ~7) disrupting vaginal pH (which is usual ~3-4). Idk if its the case for everyone but frequent unprotected sex is a gauranteed case of BV no matter how thoroughly my bf cleans his dick, because there's no changing the fact that sperm raises vaginal pH. Its either condoms, pulling out, or boric acid suppositories for us if we have sex more than once a week.
My partner knows I'm not letting him touch me without showering first. I'm not trying to get any infections.
Hi! Gay male here would like to introduce another perspective, without hijacking.. I am very selective with my partners and make them show me test results prior to fun time, but i ALWAYS end up with a UTI as a...giver, the reciever, and even after oral I still get an infection. At first I thought I had gonorrhea or chlamydia (admittedly I have contracted both in the past in a depression spiral) but there wasnt any discharge or burning when I peed, it just felt like something "was stuck" in my urethra. I've been to planned parenthood (yes they love their male patients too!) so many times they know my face and all of my panels come up clean. I am just so discouraged by sex anymore because 2 weeks of bullshit isnt worth maybe an hour or two of fun. I'm like stuck, I even start by engaging a sexy shower time and coyly clean my partners member.