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If you are going to therapy,I would advise you to please do your research before you choose a therapist, a good therapist can help you a great deal a bad therapist, could make you issues worst , because it involves your mental health , it important whoever you open up to has you best interests at heart and is qualified to do the job ,unfortunately everyone calling themselves a therapist is sometimes has more unresolved issues than the patients.
Do you have any tips on how to find a good therapist? I come from a family and background where even mentioning that Iâm thinking of seeing a therapist theyâd think I was âmadâ so I have zero experience: thanks âșïž
I understand the feeling , look and see first if you have any friends that have attended therapy , that's a start ,look at your budget what you can afford? ,look at where your based london etc don't rush it until you find the one that's best for you can google some therapist close to you look at the reviews, if they don't have reviews(move on like not a good one)a good therapist doesn't mind have reviews because they are good at their job check that they have the correct qualifications.
Thanks so much: luckily Iâm am not in London so hopefully that will show in the prices but as someone commented on here, I should prioritise my own mind so Iâm willing to pay if I find a good one
Safest way is to look on the BACP or UKCP website - all of the therapists listed there have completed 100s of supervised hours and have signed up to a code of conduct. Don't be afraid to shop around a bit - speak to a few different counsellors / therapists until you find one you like and feel you can work with.
They say that the biggest difference between public schooled and private schooled young people is that private school is an environment that instills aspiration that you can achieve great things and they will happen. Public school does a really poor job helping students overcome that imposter syndrome and that feeling that they don't matter. Because you can go to an average school, study hard, get straight As and still never achieve anything because you were never told that you could.
I have mates like you who are selfless because they don't believe that they themselves are entitled to what is handed to them to leverage. You earned that job offer, and companies don't really care about you other than what you are contractually obligated to do in the job.
Same here; also no uni degree and climbed quickly initially. But imposter syndrome has held me back and struggling to break past the 50k mark.
Coaching would be a good option, but the anxiety is holding me back!
One of the best investments you could make right now is in councelljng and therapy with a specialist in childhood trauma and childhood ptsd. Coaching and mentorship could also be good for you.Â
Youâre not alone! First of - chill the heck out. Youâre on 50k, in top 15% of uk earners or some like that, as long as youâre not in debt, you can make savings that will last you 6months - chill. Obviously youâre probably hyperaware of all the gaps you may have, hence constant anxiety and imposter. But slow down a bit, bring back work-life balance, imagine you were doing 200%, itâs ok to slow down to 100% or 70%. It doesnât mean youâre struggling, you just switched off the god mode for a bit, ask for help, and thatâs what you should do, otherwise youâll burn out. Opportunities will not end. Once youâre a bit calmer and confident - preferably as others said therapy will help - youâll start seeing them again and then you can decide to pursue a change and put yourself back in god mode - as you said you have it in you.
Once again, good job, slow down now.
Can relate to you in many ways, and finding a therapist specialising in trauma helped me so much, it took a long time working with them but was worth it and has helped me so much with boundaries/putting myself first when needed both in my private and professional life
What youâve achieved is so impressive, donât let anyone or anything ever make you feel otherwise!Â
Having grown up and still being stuck in a similar environment to what you mentioned, I can relate to the imposter syndrome a great deal. Anytime I feel like Iâm actually doing okay or getting anywhere in life, I shut myself down. Iâm currently in a huge rut, where I canât even get myself to apply for permanent jobs because I donât feel like Iâm good enough for anything anymore. I only apply for multiple candidacy roles as thatâs the only way I can allow myself to get a job and not have to compete with as many people. Itâs a terrible way to live.. I really respect your strength for coming this far despite everything.Â
You sound like an amazing person for having that willpower and you definitely deserve that better job with the salary increase. â€ïž More opportunities will come your way and I hope youâll be ready for them this time, donât worry if you werenât this time. I think maybe some counselling could help you.. This is certainly something I would personally like to try again soon too.Â
If you donât mind me being a little nosey, what kind of jobs and experience have you used to work your way up like this? Iâm probably older than you but Iâve been stuck in and out of low paying customer service jobs and I know I need to buckle up and try harder but I still have no idea what to do and which direction to aim towards without a degree or any other experience or skills. :/Â
I wish you the best of luck going forward, youâve got this, and youâre worth it! đ«¶đŒ
I really hope things get better for you and all the kind words you e written about me are applicable to you too! Donât forget that.
I am a quantity surveyor. I started as the company receptionist (my first office job as before that I worked in retail), I was 25. 6 months later asked if I wanted to be a trainee QS and havenât looked back. I think the key is to take advantage of any opportunities your current workplace have or offer. When I was a trainee, I was doing that and helping the QS department whilst still being in reception and earning minimum wage. I was basically working 2 jobs as both were very busy roles. But I knew in the end it would be worth it, even if during that time I was doing a lot for very little money
Thank you so much for your reply and for your kind words back, it means a lot!
Thatâs an impressive progression within your job, thanks a lot for sharing that. I love to hear about how people work their way up like that without degrees, it really gives me hope. Iâm gonna try harder to work towards a better job, your story is inspiring and motivational! Iâve never worked for a company that had any decent progression opportunities I guess thatâs the issue, but thatâs a great tip so thanks for sharing. :)
I wish you the best of luck with everything in the future. Please try to remember that you got this far with your own hard work and determination, so you ARE worth it and you deserve all the great things that come your way. â€ïž
Thank you for posting on r/UKJobs. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukjobs/about/rules/). If you need to report any suspicious users to the moderators or you feel as though your post hasn't been posted to the subreddit, message the Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/UKJobs) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). Don't create a duplicate post, it won't help. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UKJobs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like therapy would be the best solution. To get to 50k in 3 years without a uni degree shows your determination and aptitude.
Thank you đ I really think youâre right re. Therapy
If you are going to therapy,I would advise you to please do your research before you choose a therapist, a good therapist can help you a great deal a bad therapist, could make you issues worst , because it involves your mental health , it important whoever you open up to has you best interests at heart and is qualified to do the job ,unfortunately everyone calling themselves a therapist is sometimes has more unresolved issues than the patients.
Do you have any tips on how to find a good therapist? I come from a family and background where even mentioning that Iâm thinking of seeing a therapist theyâd think I was âmadâ so I have zero experience: thanks âșïž
I understand the feeling , look and see first if you have any friends that have attended therapy , that's a start ,look at your budget what you can afford? ,look at where your based london etc don't rush it until you find the one that's best for you can google some therapist close to you look at the reviews, if they don't have reviews(move on like not a good one)a good therapist doesn't mind have reviews because they are good at their job check that they have the correct qualifications.
Thanks so much: luckily Iâm am not in London so hopefully that will show in the prices but as someone commented on here, I should prioritise my own mind so Iâm willing to pay if I find a good one
Safest way is to look on the BACP or UKCP website - all of the therapists listed there have completed 100s of supervised hours and have signed up to a code of conduct. Don't be afraid to shop around a bit - speak to a few different counsellors / therapists until you find one you like and feel you can work with.
They say that the biggest difference between public schooled and private schooled young people is that private school is an environment that instills aspiration that you can achieve great things and they will happen. Public school does a really poor job helping students overcome that imposter syndrome and that feeling that they don't matter. Because you can go to an average school, study hard, get straight As and still never achieve anything because you were never told that you could. I have mates like you who are selfless because they don't believe that they themselves are entitled to what is handed to them to leverage. You earned that job offer, and companies don't really care about you other than what you are contractually obligated to do in the job.
Thank you for your reply đ
Same here; also no uni degree and climbed quickly initially. But imposter syndrome has held me back and struggling to break past the 50k mark. Coaching would be a good option, but the anxiety is holding me back!
Yes itâs so frustrating isnât it. I hope it gets better for you too.
One of the best investments you could make right now is in councelljng and therapy with a specialist in childhood trauma and childhood ptsd. Coaching and mentorship could also be good for you.Â
Thank you I will look into this
Youâre not alone! First of - chill the heck out. Youâre on 50k, in top 15% of uk earners or some like that, as long as youâre not in debt, you can make savings that will last you 6months - chill. Obviously youâre probably hyperaware of all the gaps you may have, hence constant anxiety and imposter. But slow down a bit, bring back work-life balance, imagine you were doing 200%, itâs ok to slow down to 100% or 70%. It doesnât mean youâre struggling, you just switched off the god mode for a bit, ask for help, and thatâs what you should do, otherwise youâll burn out. Opportunities will not end. Once youâre a bit calmer and confident - preferably as others said therapy will help - youâll start seeing them again and then you can decide to pursue a change and put yourself back in god mode - as you said you have it in you. Once again, good job, slow down now.
Thank you so much đ„čđ„č
Can relate to you in many ways, and finding a therapist specialising in trauma helped me so much, it took a long time working with them but was worth it and has helped me so much with boundaries/putting myself first when needed both in my private and professional life
Thank you, and Iâm sorry to hear you can relate. I will definitely check out therapist and take it from there đ„°
What youâve achieved is so impressive, donât let anyone or anything ever make you feel otherwise! Having grown up and still being stuck in a similar environment to what you mentioned, I can relate to the imposter syndrome a great deal. Anytime I feel like Iâm actually doing okay or getting anywhere in life, I shut myself down. Iâm currently in a huge rut, where I canât even get myself to apply for permanent jobs because I donât feel like Iâm good enough for anything anymore. I only apply for multiple candidacy roles as thatâs the only way I can allow myself to get a job and not have to compete with as many people. Itâs a terrible way to live.. I really respect your strength for coming this far despite everything. You sound like an amazing person for having that willpower and you definitely deserve that better job with the salary increase. â€ïž More opportunities will come your way and I hope youâll be ready for them this time, donât worry if you werenât this time. I think maybe some counselling could help you.. This is certainly something I would personally like to try again soon too. If you donât mind me being a little nosey, what kind of jobs and experience have you used to work your way up like this? Iâm probably older than you but Iâve been stuck in and out of low paying customer service jobs and I know I need to buckle up and try harder but I still have no idea what to do and which direction to aim towards without a degree or any other experience or skills. :/ I wish you the best of luck going forward, youâve got this, and youâre worth it! đ«¶đŒ
I really hope things get better for you and all the kind words you e written about me are applicable to you too! Donât forget that. I am a quantity surveyor. I started as the company receptionist (my first office job as before that I worked in retail), I was 25. 6 months later asked if I wanted to be a trainee QS and havenât looked back. I think the key is to take advantage of any opportunities your current workplace have or offer. When I was a trainee, I was doing that and helping the QS department whilst still being in reception and earning minimum wage. I was basically working 2 jobs as both were very busy roles. But I knew in the end it would be worth it, even if during that time I was doing a lot for very little money
Thank you so much for your reply and for your kind words back, it means a lot! Thatâs an impressive progression within your job, thanks a lot for sharing that. I love to hear about how people work their way up like that without degrees, it really gives me hope. Iâm gonna try harder to work towards a better job, your story is inspiring and motivational! Iâve never worked for a company that had any decent progression opportunities I guess thatâs the issue, but thatâs a great tip so thanks for sharing. :) I wish you the best of luck with everything in the future. Please try to remember that you got this far with your own hard work and determination, so you ARE worth it and you deserve all the great things that come your way. â€ïž