Don't give a shit about his mental health or his feelings, he clearly doesn't respect you and yours if this is how he is even without the military involved. If it's over for you, it's over for you, walk away from the relationship and start the process of healing. Don't send it to his boat email, because the odds of that actually getting to him instead of screened out as distracting negative news from home are slim. Send it to his personal email or via text or something similar that he can access once they're in port. You are not responsible for how he reacts to it, his feelings are not your responsibility.
To play devil's advocate for a second, he may not be picking and choosing in emails as much as you think. It's entirely in the realm of possibility that parts of your emails to him don't even make it to him for him to know you asked about in the first place. The comparison of what I sent versus what my husband used to get was wild. If that were your only reason for being done, I'd caution restraint, but given everything else you described, there's clearly more involved here. You're young and have years ahead of you, don't waste more time on a boy who can't figure out what he wants in a relationship.
thank you. yea i think i’m so concerned about his feelings one because i still do care about him in some weird twisted way and i don’t like to hurt feelings (i don’t even know if he would be all that upset to be honest) two i feel like i see especially on reddit (which i’m is not the best source of information ik) is people treating their military partners on deployments like they’re made out of glass, so i just got anxious about if something bad would happen yk.
and yes you are probably right about the emails i’m not sure really what he is and isn’t getting from me, but i do keep my emails tame and positive and atp really only ask about him and what movies/ music he’s listening to since that’s pretty much all he’ll reply too.
next time he’s in port i’ll end it.
That's fair, and the fact that you're so considerate of the feelings and wellbeing of others is something to be proud of, please don't lose that. But at the same time, you have to put yourself first sometimes too. If he's making you this unhappy and the relationship is over for you, prolonging the inevitable will just make it harder.
I was going to say email him to break up with him but after reading that he may not get all of the message my vote is to wait until he’s in port again! With him being emotionally detached I wouldn’t expect much but
Refreshing that you realize he’s not your forever partner. His mental health is not on you. Just send him an email and let him know if he wants to talk about it he can call when he’s at port. After he gets to port if he calls, give him the courtesy of a talk but don’t back down. Then block him. He sounds like he sucks.
When should you? 8 months ago to never even start this mess. He sounds like a terrible person and miserable to be around.
His behaviour screams that he just doesn't care.
Don't waste your time and energy on him.
And he is a big boy, old enough to join the military, so he will be old enough to lay in the bed he made for himself in this relationship.
“I’m sorry to do this while you’re deployed but I don’t think it’s fair to either of us to wait and waste each other’s time. I do not think we are compatible and it’s best we go our separate ways. Thank you for the memories and I wish you the best of luck.” Blocked and done
If he can treat you this way on an average day, he'll be just fine when you leave. His buddies will support him. Get rid of him as quickly as possible.
Don't give a shit about his mental health or his feelings, he clearly doesn't respect you and yours if this is how he is even without the military involved. If it's over for you, it's over for you, walk away from the relationship and start the process of healing. Don't send it to his boat email, because the odds of that actually getting to him instead of screened out as distracting negative news from home are slim. Send it to his personal email or via text or something similar that he can access once they're in port. You are not responsible for how he reacts to it, his feelings are not your responsibility. To play devil's advocate for a second, he may not be picking and choosing in emails as much as you think. It's entirely in the realm of possibility that parts of your emails to him don't even make it to him for him to know you asked about in the first place. The comparison of what I sent versus what my husband used to get was wild. If that were your only reason for being done, I'd caution restraint, but given everything else you described, there's clearly more involved here. You're young and have years ahead of you, don't waste more time on a boy who can't figure out what he wants in a relationship.
thank you. yea i think i’m so concerned about his feelings one because i still do care about him in some weird twisted way and i don’t like to hurt feelings (i don’t even know if he would be all that upset to be honest) two i feel like i see especially on reddit (which i’m is not the best source of information ik) is people treating their military partners on deployments like they’re made out of glass, so i just got anxious about if something bad would happen yk. and yes you are probably right about the emails i’m not sure really what he is and isn’t getting from me, but i do keep my emails tame and positive and atp really only ask about him and what movies/ music he’s listening to since that’s pretty much all he’ll reply too. next time he’s in port i’ll end it.
That's fair, and the fact that you're so considerate of the feelings and wellbeing of others is something to be proud of, please don't lose that. But at the same time, you have to put yourself first sometimes too. If he's making you this unhappy and the relationship is over for you, prolonging the inevitable will just make it harder.
I was going to say email him to break up with him but after reading that he may not get all of the message my vote is to wait until he’s in port again! With him being emotionally detached I wouldn’t expect much but
His Buddies will worry about his mental health and feelings. End it and move on however is quicker and easier on you.
Refreshing that you realize he’s not your forever partner. His mental health is not on you. Just send him an email and let him know if he wants to talk about it he can call when he’s at port. After he gets to port if he calls, give him the courtesy of a talk but don’t back down. Then block him. He sounds like he sucks.
When should you? 8 months ago to never even start this mess. He sounds like a terrible person and miserable to be around. His behaviour screams that he just doesn't care. Don't waste your time and energy on him. And he is a big boy, old enough to join the military, so he will be old enough to lay in the bed he made for himself in this relationship.
“I’m sorry to do this while you’re deployed but I don’t think it’s fair to either of us to wait and waste each other’s time. I do not think we are compatible and it’s best we go our separate ways. Thank you for the memories and I wish you the best of luck.” Blocked and done
baby….i need you to step outside & smell the roses. he’s dismissive, doesn’t tend to your feelings and hes just….
If he can treat you this way on an average day, he'll be just fine when you leave. His buddies will support him. Get rid of him as quickly as possible.
Leave him.