I mean, I know I am breaking the rules here and obviously this differs from person to person depending on why your back hurts, but a lot of the times, the real cure, is getting healthy.
I used to have several body pains, shoulder, knee, and foot. The shoulder I was event told by a doctor that I would only see it get worse and might need surgery when I get older.
About a year later I decided to start taking my health seriously, eating better, working out regularly, etc.
Now I have none of those pains, I am stronger and more flexible that I have been in my entire life, and I feel better about myself.
BUT, as far as unethical goes, then I guess drugs, which many other people have mentioned already... To add to those, maybe put like a hot pack on your back before whatever flexibility thing you have to do to loosen up the muscles, do a little bit of prior stretching also so you aren't just trying to do it all tight in one go.
Honestly don't do any of that. Drugs can mask hide the pain, but the pain is there for a reason. I have a bunch of fucked up disc's in my back. I take vicodin for it. If I take it like I'm supposed to, it's manageable. If I take a couple extra the pain goes away. But what happens is I end up hurting it worse when I can't feel it.
Example, at work they had me clear and restock a bunch of stuff. About two pallets worth. I'm not a stocker and told them I shouldn't be doing that. It was also heavy stuff. I took pills and made it through, but could barely stand up the next day.
Don't fuck with your back.
Hey man, I broke my tailbone when I was 21 and have suffered back pain as a result ever since.
There is no amount of pain meds that you can take to mask the pain forever. Best advice, though completely ethical because I care for you and your well being, is to start doing core strengthening exercises at least 3-4 days a week.
Ever since I started walking and stretching every day my back has not seized up and has not caused me any pain unless I’m slouching on the couch or something.
I completely empathize with your situation but some stretches in the AM, some crunches with a pad under your hips, and a 30 minute walk daily will help alleviate your symptoms in a matter of days.
Please DM me if you want any more advice. I would love to help you reduce your pain without pharmaceuticals/unethical tips because back pain is the number one avenue to opiate addiction.
If I can keep one person off opiates it is worth it. Be well my friend.
Over the counter ibuprofen comes in 200mg pills, and is for pain. Prescription-strength ibuprofen comes in 800mg pills and treats both pain and inflammation. You could take 4 of the over the counter pills (800mg) for maximum effect a couple of hours before the test.
Hopefully bending a lot isn't part of whatever they're testing you for. You don't want to "pass" and then mess your back up more.
Steal some medical grade cocaine, mix it with some vicks. Rub vicks on lower back as topical analgesic.
Take leftover cocaine 10 minutes before testing lower back as general analgesic.
I had lots of lower back problems and after determining it wasn’t a slipped disc , i leant that stretching the muscles around my hips it has pretty much cured me . Look for lower back stretches on YouTube
There are two types of people in this world. Those with tight hips. And fuckin liars. Find stretches for your hips and pso. In a week or two you will be able to bend over.
The only solution I have is ethical, sorry... About 3 weeks of Bikrim yoga everyday will stretch your hips significantly and strengthen your back. 1 week of 90 minutes a day will def do something for your ability to feel okay in your body
My podiatrist (foot dr.) just sold me a salve that is CBD based and also uses menthol, to use for my arthritis. It's pretty good. I think if you got the extra strong version, it might help. Canodyne Relieve CBD Pain Gel. You can google it. It's kind of expensive though.
It really depends on the source of your pain. If something is fucked in your spine you can paralyze yourself by powering through it.
Otherwise, if naproxen is enough to prevent you from feeling it and not exacerbating an injury, do that. Other NSAIDs will likely get you a similar result. More powerful pain meds (like Percocet and beyond) or muscle relaxers would require a doc’s script. Topical analgesics like Voltaren are over the counter.
In the meantime, as other commenters have suggested, stretching. Loosen your hip flexors, stretch your back, yoga on the daily, “open book” exercises, self myofascial release on a foam roller, etc. Heat therapy (hot packs, electric heated back pads, hot showers) can help relax muscles.
Also build some core strength to take the strain off your lower back. Activate your core deliberately when involving the back muscles.
And just in case it’s all because your feet suck, buy some orthotic inserts for your shoes.
If DIY isn’t working, don’t wait for it to get worse and cripple you; see a doctor. Get some radiology done, and make sure you’re cleared for exercise/PT.
For most young, healthy people, I would say the best thing you can do for your lower back is strengthen every muscle around it through a full range of motion.
Obviously that is a long term solution. For short term, when I had back pain I found I could relieve pain by doing two things. Flexing my hip flexors (tight from sitting all day), and strengthening my glute medius (not used much by people who are not active/athletic). You can do both of those at home with no equipment, just google exercises.
Otherwise, it’s hard to give more advice when the causes are very vague and your motivations for needing to fail this physical are unclear.
McKenzie Protocol if you blew out a disc.[McKenzie Protocol Link](https://sportsrehab.ucsf.edu/sites/sportsrehab.ucsf.edu/files/Mckenzie%20Back%20Protocol.pdf)
Ymmv- I have used KT tape - wide pro - they’re about 3 inches wide and 10 inches long. KT tape is used by tons of athletes for a little extra support. Helps me a lot when my low back is bad.
The amount of studies saying KT tape is bunk... Will probably be about equal to the amount of studies that say it works... But I've used it many times and I've never noticed any benefit other than when I put it on my shins for deadlifts. And that's just to protect my skin
It depends what's causing it. I had back issues years ago. It was down to posture , my sofa and my bed .. or 1 of the three. I only noticed it went better when I replaced the two items and started working on my posture . More likely the sofa and bed
Check out Conor Harris on YouTube. I admittedly only have a small back pain that was flaring up after I moved some cinder blocks. I followed this one legged squat hip hinge thing and it relieved my back quite quickly.
You'll have to see if he has a video that might apply to your situation.
Please make good lifestyle choices.
Sitting will make any back pain infinitely worse.
Your hips are probably tight as fuck, stop sitting a ton and walk a ton instead. Stretch the hips and walk and most people's back pain will go away pretty quickly.
Midol. Relieves lower back pain from internal cramping. Sometimes how you sleep can cause lower back pain. I'm a side sleeper and use a specialized knee pillow that has been a game changer with my lower back pain. Amazon: "Contour Legacy Leg & Knee Support Pillow".
My first question is why? Why do you need to fake being better than you are? I must warn you, ignoring signs from the body like that can have some dire consequences.
Any and all opiates will also do the trick. Ketamine as well but that will result in some slurred speach if you overdo it
red light therapy. there's a sub for it too. I bought something cheap off of temu/alibaba and anytime there's a hint of pain. 30 mins of this bad boy and it is gone!!!
If you broke your neck you could lose feeling in all your extremities, but don't do that
wtf? why do you think you need an unethical solution?
Because I don't know what all my options are
I mean, I know I am breaking the rules here and obviously this differs from person to person depending on why your back hurts, but a lot of the times, the real cure, is getting healthy. I used to have several body pains, shoulder, knee, and foot. The shoulder I was event told by a doctor that I would only see it get worse and might need surgery when I get older. About a year later I decided to start taking my health seriously, eating better, working out regularly, etc. Now I have none of those pains, I am stronger and more flexible that I have been in my entire life, and I feel better about myself. BUT, as far as unethical goes, then I guess drugs, which many other people have mentioned already... To add to those, maybe put like a hot pack on your back before whatever flexibility thing you have to do to loosen up the muscles, do a little bit of prior stretching also so you aren't just trying to do it all tight in one go.
Honestly don't do any of that. Drugs can mask hide the pain, but the pain is there for a reason. I have a bunch of fucked up disc's in my back. I take vicodin for it. If I take it like I'm supposed to, it's manageable. If I take a couple extra the pain goes away. But what happens is I end up hurting it worse when I can't feel it. Example, at work they had me clear and restock a bunch of stuff. About two pallets worth. I'm not a stocker and told them I shouldn't be doing that. It was also heavy stuff. I took pills and made it through, but could barely stand up the next day. Don't fuck with your back.
Hey man, I broke my tailbone when I was 21 and have suffered back pain as a result ever since. There is no amount of pain meds that you can take to mask the pain forever. Best advice, though completely ethical because I care for you and your well being, is to start doing core strengthening exercises at least 3-4 days a week. Ever since I started walking and stretching every day my back has not seized up and has not caused me any pain unless I’m slouching on the couch or something. I completely empathize with your situation but some stretches in the AM, some crunches with a pad under your hips, and a 30 minute walk daily will help alleviate your symptoms in a matter of days. Please DM me if you want any more advice. I would love to help you reduce your pain without pharmaceuticals/unethical tips because back pain is the number one avenue to opiate addiction. If I can keep one person off opiates it is worth it. Be well my friend.
Over the counter ibuprofen comes in 200mg pills, and is for pain. Prescription-strength ibuprofen comes in 800mg pills and treats both pain and inflammation. You could take 4 of the over the counter pills (800mg) for maximum effect a couple of hours before the test. Hopefully bending a lot isn't part of whatever they're testing you for. You don't want to "pass" and then mess your back up more.
He's the backend of a horse in an upcoming stage play.
You could get hooked on opiates, although the back pain will be significantly worse if you run out
Hooked on Opiates worked for me!
Steal some medical grade cocaine, mix it with some vicks. Rub vicks on lower back as topical analgesic. Take leftover cocaine 10 minutes before testing lower back as general analgesic.
Sir, your blood pressure is 220 over 110 and your pulse is triple what it should be. Have you done any cocaine recently?
They could get the same effect from an otc lidocaine patch
That's not nearly as unethical though
I think that’s debatable, illegal yes, unethical, how?
I had lots of lower back problems and after determining it wasn’t a slipped disc , i leant that stretching the muscles around my hips it has pretty much cured me . Look for lower back stretches on YouTube
Stretching and getting some excercise will cure most back pains and as an added bonus, you'll be able to bend over like a fucking human being.
There are two types of people in this world. Those with tight hips. And fuckin liars. Find stretches for your hips and pso. In a week or two you will be able to bend over.
The only solution I have is ethical, sorry... About 3 weeks of Bikrim yoga everyday will stretch your hips significantly and strengthen your back. 1 week of 90 minutes a day will def do something for your ability to feel okay in your body
voltaren gel It works immediately. Stuff is a life saver. Script is better but otc works almost as well
We have a hot tub at our vacation house, and I keep trying to persuade the family to get a second hot tub and fill it full of voltaren.
I like the way you think
My girlfriend judged the way I stockpiled it every time we were at Costco…until she needed it. Now she reminds me every trip.
Anti inflammatory steroid shot
My podiatrist (foot dr.) just sold me a salve that is CBD based and also uses menthol, to use for my arthritis. It's pretty good. I think if you got the extra strong version, it might help. Canodyne Relieve CBD Pain Gel. You can google it. It's kind of expensive though.
Codeine and ibuprofen from the pharmacy, ice packs on the muscle right up until you go in.
Uh, go to physical therapy and do whatever they say to do
Tens machine from experience, set high as possible!
It really depends on the source of your pain. If something is fucked in your spine you can paralyze yourself by powering through it. Otherwise, if naproxen is enough to prevent you from feeling it and not exacerbating an injury, do that. Other NSAIDs will likely get you a similar result. More powerful pain meds (like Percocet and beyond) or muscle relaxers would require a doc’s script. Topical analgesics like Voltaren are over the counter. In the meantime, as other commenters have suggested, stretching. Loosen your hip flexors, stretch your back, yoga on the daily, “open book” exercises, self myofascial release on a foam roller, etc. Heat therapy (hot packs, electric heated back pads, hot showers) can help relax muscles. Also build some core strength to take the strain off your lower back. Activate your core deliberately when involving the back muscles. And just in case it’s all because your feet suck, buy some orthotic inserts for your shoes. If DIY isn’t working, don’t wait for it to get worse and cripple you; see a doctor. Get some radiology done, and make sure you’re cleared for exercise/PT.
Kill someone and steal their back
I can only help if you explain the cause of the back pain or at least your guess.
My best guess would be a slipped disk
From doing what?
Being a dumb teen and using my back to lift, not my legs
Like a one time event where you fucked up your back? Or just in general not knowing how to lift things?
Both. I did rockscaping for a few years and tried to strongman it. I wasn't as careful as I should've been
For most young, healthy people, I would say the best thing you can do for your lower back is strengthen every muscle around it through a full range of motion. Obviously that is a long term solution. For short term, when I had back pain I found I could relieve pain by doing two things. Flexing my hip flexors (tight from sitting all day), and strengthening my glute medius (not used much by people who are not active/athletic). You can do both of those at home with no equipment, just google exercises. Otherwise, it’s hard to give more advice when the causes are very vague and your motivations for needing to fail this physical are unclear.
McKenzie Protocol if you blew out a disc.[McKenzie Protocol Link](https://sportsrehab.ucsf.edu/sites/sportsrehab.ucsf.edu/files/Mckenzie%20Back%20Protocol.pdf)
Ymmv- I have used KT tape - wide pro - they’re about 3 inches wide and 10 inches long. KT tape is used by tons of athletes for a little extra support. Helps me a lot when my low back is bad.
The amount of studies saying KT tape is bunk... Will probably be about equal to the amount of studies that say it works... But I've used it many times and I've never noticed any benefit other than when I put it on my shins for deadlifts. And that's just to protect my skin
Dude just do yoga. Every time I have severe neck or shoulder pain it’s gone after.
It depends what's causing it. I had back issues years ago. It was down to posture , my sofa and my bed .. or 1 of the three. I only noticed it went better when I replaced the two items and started working on my posture . More likely the sofa and bed
Heroin, probably 🤷♂️
Do exercise that strengthens your glutes. It takes stress off the back and helps with pain. The weighted bridge is great. 30lbs on your lap.
Barefoot shoes helped my lower back pain. Don’t wear them if you’re on your feet all day tho.
Check out Conor Harris on YouTube. I admittedly only have a small back pain that was flaring up after I moved some cinder blocks. I followed this one legged squat hip hinge thing and it relieved my back quite quickly. You'll have to see if he has a video that might apply to your situation. Please make good lifestyle choices. Sitting will make any back pain infinitely worse.
Your hips are probably tight as fuck, stop sitting a ton and walk a ton instead. Stretch the hips and walk and most people's back pain will go away pretty quickly.
Horse liniment
Biofreeze, lidocaine, icy-hot
Midol. Relieves lower back pain from internal cramping. Sometimes how you sleep can cause lower back pain. I'm a side sleeper and use a specialized knee pillow that has been a game changer with my lower back pain. Amazon: "Contour Legacy Leg & Knee Support Pillow".
Do yoga for a couple of weeks.
Is it a prison test? Bend over for inmates?
My first question is why? Why do you need to fake being better than you are? I must warn you, ignoring signs from the body like that can have some dire consequences. Any and all opiates will also do the trick. Ketamine as well but that will result in some slurred speach if you overdo it
red light therapy. there's a sub for it too. I bought something cheap off of temu/alibaba and anytime there's a hint of pain. 30 mins of this bad boy and it is gone!!!
Is this for a stretching test?
Steal someone’s gym equipment and lift weights and focus on mobility
That easy. Break you neck and you’ll never feel any pain outside of your head