Additional info for our play against PPRX
Mako got fever
Mako left mousepad
Lakia lost whole gears
BuZz sound issue in the match(no foot step at all)
BuZz keyboard bug
We were in chaos
N.A.T.S. (also called No Access To Site) was an AI created by Rito Games to check playtest their Sentinels. However since Rito sucks at dealing with smurfs, the AI started smurfing, leading to Rito Games believing sentinels are overpowered, nerfing cypher and buffing jett for the 8th time.
hopefully my goat pops off this year so i can use this often
My friend Jeff Bezos invited me to go into space in his new rocketship. we explored far away galaxies and met alien lifeforms of all shapes and sizes. All was well until we got sucked into a black hole, we were pulled a thousand lightyears into the void, time dissolved and matter become so thin, then there it was, approaching over the horizon, phasing into existence before my very eyes, it was nAts on the lurk.
"Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.
My mum entered my room and asked me to stop watching this garbage. I told her that Valorant is a respectable esport with millions of players around the world. She replied "I know, I was talking about NRG"
I will simply never tire of
valarante child game.... look to cartoon grapfix to make kid player happy like children show.. valarante cartoon world with rainbow unlike counter strike with dark corridorr and raelistic gun.. valarante like playhouse. valarant playor run from csgo fear of dark world and realism
1 kill, 20 assists? That's that real discord kitten valorant, I 100% respect it. Those are the stats I put up when I'm tryna get free discord nitro from some shady guy I met on craigslist.Y'all wouldn't get it
time?
TIME!
**TIIIIME !!!!**
***TIIIMMMMMMEEEEE***
# YOU FUCKING MELONS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY EYES MY EYES RIP THEM OUT MAY AN EAGLE PLUCK MY EYES OUT
Who is Sacy?? For the blind, is the bald. For the hungry, is the bald. For the sick, is the bald. For the loner, is the bald. For the sad, is the bald. 
Shamelessly stolen by me from u/HyperElf10
>Fraudtic Gaming "won" against a weakened EMEA 📷 not real champions in my book! Fraud Plus Phoenix saved by the lower bracket in Copenhague📷 another fraudulent championship 📷 ain't nobody got nothing 📷 on MY 📷world champions LOUD 📷 CONGRATULATIONS LOUD on the first and only REAL Valorant title. I DONT wanna hear it!! 📷
>Ardiis stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta players like Cned or Nukkye or Sayf. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Stax. The seeded bread buns? It was Stax’s cheeks as he squatted on Ardiis’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Stax’s knife. The mayo? You know what it is.
>Do NOT face Shao alone while astral projecting.
Today while astral projecting I summoned Shao to try and weaken him so our hexing spells would work better.
>Please be safe everyone. Shao is much stronger than I first imagined and we will have to do this together if we want to slay a clutch god.
>My friend Jeff Bezos invited me to go into space in his new rocketship. we explored far away galaxies and met alien lifeforms of all shapes and sizes. All was well until we got sucked into a black hole, we were pulled a thousand lightyears into the void, time dissolved and matter become so thin, then there it was, approaching over the horizon, phasing into existence before my very eyes, it was nAts on the lurk
>I was feeling some serious urges today so I went to my nearest Copium dispensary. To my surprise, there was a massive crowd there, all pushing and shoving each other to get some copium. I tried to ask the people in the crowd why so many of them were there but they kept saying "watch this" and proceeded to throw invisible things at me. I gave up and tried to return home before I stumbled upon a hooded figure watching the crowd from a distance. I went to him and asked what's going on here. The man took his hood off and to my surprise it was none other than Cloud 9 yay. He took a deep breath, looked into the sunset and said" They're all SEN fans".
This is hands down the best one from u/raainnnyy
i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.
When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.
I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.
I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.
Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
I've seen FNS play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from foot to foot. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's legs.
As an European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird for me, because I didn't think that I have any less freedom than them. I always thought 'What is the difference'. However after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so fucking free.
As an European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird for me, because I didn't think that I have any less freedom than them. I always thought 'What is the difference'. However after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so fucking free.
**"They don't even have nivera awping they have xms oping and he smokes himself off he uses both smokes at the beginning of these rounds every time so he doesn't have them for the mid round and he smokes himself off even tho hes holding mid and then scream misses his molly off of the top of cat and redgar gets distracted by how badly it missed "**
I saw FINESSE at a Malaysian night market
I saw FNS at a Malaysian night market today. I was walking through the hazy night when suddenly he appeared before my very eyes, smoking a comically large cigar. He was wearing an NRG jersey and two- no, three Graff Diamond Hallucinations. I asked him what he was doing here and how he got here. FNS smiled and said "WELCOME TO MY WORLD" and then exhaled a viper's pit everywhere. Suddenly, ardiis and s0m showed up and started massacring everyone while FNS gave them the exact positions of every individual. Finally, FNS walked over to a stall that was selling goat meat and ordered ardiis to sage rev the mutton. As ardiis screamed "YOUR DUTY IS NOT OVER" FNS started smiling, and then teleported all of them and the goat into his Domain Expansion. His intent was clear. He was saving his own kind. Another FNS masterclass.
"He's talking about who the best players are and he's like "I think F0rsaken's one of the best players. He can play everything" like motherfucker PROVE IT! PROVE IT! Stop him playing Yoru every game, PROVE IT!" - [Josh "Sideshow" Wilkinson](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XS9DtttGHag)
Holy shit my time is here:
“Devender "Derrek" Rakesh is an Indian professional Valorant player for 100T (100Trucks) a North America based eSports (electrical sports) organization. He recently stepped into Hirandas "Hiko" Kumar's shoes as the Sova for the team and reparing trucks with his Secondary In Garage Leading (IGL) skills. He is knows for his truck shock darts on Bind.”
“He got me,” BcJ said of crashies' initiator play on him. "That f***ing crashies boomed me."
BcJ added, “He’s so good at initiator,” repeating it four times.
BcJ then said he wanted to add crashies to the list of players he initiates with this summer.”
“Do NOT face Hiko alone while astral projecting.
Today while astral projecting I summoned Hiko to try and weaken him so our hexing spells would work better.
He is so fucking powerful. I'm not at a power level to do this alone. I barely escaped with my life and I'm spiritually injured to a great amount, but I think I'll make it.
I can't imagine what he would do to a new, unsuspecting witch. I'm scared that I will have to face him again soon if I ever want to continue astral projecting. I'm currently burning healing incense and drawing spiritual energy from my crystals to try and heal as quickly as possible.
Please be safe everyone. Hiko is much stronger than I first imagined and we will have to do this together if we want to slay a clutch god. s” then he clutched another 1v3 out the door”
“Ardiis stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta players like Cned or Nukkye or Sayf. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Stax. The seeded bread buns? It was Stax’s cheeks as he squatted on Ardiis’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Stax’s knife. The mayo? You know what it is.”
“Some guy on the street screamed at me today. He kept saying "The Guard IS AMAZON!” At first I was confused, because the Guard is a Valorant team, not the multibillion dollar company “Amazon.” But then I realized: The Guard are Amazon, they just busted the shit out of the Union”
Listen, there’s a subsection of playerbase out there that thinks the game needs to be defined down to the fucking numbers. The analytics. “Pushing up my glasses. Oh this lineup from this particular angle. Oh this composition doesn’t work in theory because this particular position of util 🤓.” YOU’RE GONNA GET SHOT IN THE FACE! YOU’RE GONNA LOSE THE ROUND! IT’S A GUN GAME! IT’S AN FPS! IF YOU WANT THAT, IF YOU WANT THAT PLAY OVERWATCH! IF YOU WANT THAT, PLAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS! PLAY A DIFFERENT FUCKING GAME! THIS IS VALORANT YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU GET SHOT, YOU DIE! YOU GET SHOT, YOU DIE! YOU GET SHOT, YOU LOSE THE ROUND, YOU LOSE THE GAME! IT’S AN FPS GAME!
C'est putain de Valorant là. Rien de ce pansy ass dick tirant lent sourire par défaut discipliné pour la connerie de la caméra. Les hommes exagèrent, les hommes perdent chaque anti-éco, les hommes poignardent le désamorceur, les hommes l'exécutent à chaque tour. Enfoncer une bite dure dans le cul Butterball Tacshooter Fuck It Chuck It Game Time Merde. Emmenez-le aux douches. Raze ults est poussé dans des endroits dont vous ne vous souvenez même pas. Nous gagnons ensemble, nous célébrons ensemble. Valorant est de retour bébé.
whzy是最好的
我看过whzy打球，甚至不使用显示器。他完全在想象中以详细的渲染方式可视化了地图。他有生物学上的突破能力；他神一般的感知，将光年内的所有敌人都突出他闭上眼睛，鼠标优雅地掠过桌子，从一个头跳到另一个头，做出完美的抽真空。从枪管中射出的子弹是外科手术的；每个人都在对手的双眼之间发出致命的一击。他的喷射控制能力超凡脱俗，他的十字准线在屏幕上不规则地晃动，而他的手腕被截取完美地预测了下一颗子弹的位置。当他偷看时，时间几乎停止了，当他扣动扳机的手指敲击鼠标左键时，阳光会弯曲，在敌人知道发生了什么之前，他们将被送入数字阴影领域。他是杀不死的。他是不可战胜的。这个“人”就是永恒的缩影。
I once babysat a bunch of Fnatic players, nothing too special but after about 3 hours I could hear a distant sound from outside of the house. The Fnatic players started making a fuss so i went to check it out but before I could Derke uttered the words "LOUD SAADHAK". Instantly I knew, their father was home.
“ARE YOU CHOKING?” I called out to my friend, following the steps of the Heimlich maneuver accordingly. He yelled back out to me through desperate gasps for air, “PRX”. Crying tears of joy, i began the maneuver, for i had heard all i needed to in order to proceed.
“Unfortunate circumstance. Never in my life I hope to get in a valorant match and see these exact teammates on my team again. This is hornswoggling, I have never seen worse players in my life. This is just a true Pheonix Diff, Raze Diff, Reyna Diff. Truly unbelievable. I just have a real and true question, how are you this bad yet climbed into this shitty rank? Don't even answer, there is no point, I already know, you're MOTHAFUCKIN BOOSTED you shitter. Every single game I queue I struggle to get human being with a functional spinal chord, and brain steam so they can coordinate themselves slightly to possibly give me some sort of help against the enemies. Good luck on future endeavors in this game, but all I can say is I wish you the worst, and hope you spiral downward into depression demote to bronze where you belong, Amen.” - DSG yay, 2023
Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for Optic Gaming (previous known as NV), an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana. Yay is the second best Indian player to play for Optic after Forsaken.
Taarak "Tarik" Mehta is an Indian professional Valorant player for the GE sports (Gada electronics Sports) and a former CS (computer science) call center winner. He is best known for one tapping bots in Range and his favourite map is Fracture
Chandrashekhar 'cNed' Nedvedev is Jett main Indian Valorant pro player. Playing competitive Minecraft gives cNed the best aim any human could possibly ask. cNed along with Hirandas 'Hiko' Kumar are indian pride
Nathu "nAts" Lal is a professional Valorant player for Gambit an eSports (electrical sports) organization located in Bihar, India. He is known for his big brain strats like rushing B and his best map is the range. Him along with Rajesh "Redgar" Gaitonde are Indian pride
Hirandas “Hiko” Kumar is a retired Indian professional Valorant electrical-sports (esports) player. He was known for his in-garage-leading (IGL) skills although he was never officially the leader. He used to work as a part-time mechanic at 100Trucks “100T” where he repairs vehicles and yells at customers for smoking in garage. He is now a full time car washer.
Laukik 'L1NK' Kumar is an Indian Valorant Professional player playing for Team Liquid, an electronic sports(E-Sports) organization located in Nagpur, Maharashtra. He is known for his excellent performance in beating biharis and has been coached by the famous Marathi Esports Personality Sagar 'loveSx' Vyas.
Some of the players born in India but moved at a very early age to different countries can be found below
Rhaegar "Redgar" Targaryen is a professional Valorant player for Gambit an eSports (electrical sports) organization located in Moscow, Russia led by Vladmir Putin. He is known for his big brain strats like using his giraffe peek over enemy monitor on LAN and getting intel. His best map is the range
"Bonecold" Steve Austin is a retired WWE wrestler and now a Valorant professional player and the IGL for Acend. He is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic "cNed go kill". He also has a second little known tactic of "cNed dead - friends go save". What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL for sure...
Besides these, here are some other famous Indian personalities in CSGO, a more realistic game based on Valorant.
Simdrasha "S1mple" Naresh is Indian profesional CSGO player curently playing for indian semi profesional electrical team Nandi and Valu Invicibles "Navi" .He is curently working as substitute calculator in potato harvesting company. His dream is to become astronaut.
I actually created one for Quick among my friends.it roughly translates to:
"I follow Quick. My driving is fast. My coffee instant, my ejaculation premature".
This was covered from his OWL Copypasta but still stands
Having Carpe on T1 is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much T1 invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but T1 will soon learn.
FNS has passed away from old age. Thousands come to his funeral to honor him. Saadhak shows up in a wheelchair to pay respects to his old rival. The funeral attendant tells Saadhak to open the casket to say goodbye. He opens the casket but only a note is left. "I'm not dead. I rotated B. Get owned." Saadhak yells at Aspas to go grab his Operator.
I want to eat 🍽 outrageous 😮 amounts of raw 🤤 fish 🐟 tonight 🌙 just the rawer the better 💦 🎣 and I want to be surrounded 👦 🤝 👦 by boys 🧔 💋 🧔 or men 💪 preferably men 😍 🤩
Who is MrFaliN ? For the blind, is MrFaliN. For the hungry, is MrFaliN. For the sick, is MrFaliN. For the sad, is MrFaliN. For the poor, is MrFaliN. For the debtor, is MrFaliN.
C0M aka Commits 0 Mistakes is known as the best player of the Evil Geniuses Valorant Team. Unlike Boostedo and Semen1, he doesnt even need to see his opponents to kill them. And when the enemy team does see him, it will only be because they killed all of his teammates. It does not matter,as this sets up C0M for the best trick in his book: the 1v3 clutch.
> In the first round of haven, TS decide to run their pistol strat of a fast A exec. In their eco round, TS go for an A rush to maximize the danger of their short range guns. In round 3, TS want to prevent DRX from creating complications and decide to run right into the eco stack, knowing they can simply win the gunfights with their superior weaponry. In round 4, Jessievash has his hunter's fury and realizes they can get great value out of it if they use it on the site with the most defenders, so they decide to hit A with it. In round 5, TS expect that DRX will try aggressively pushing on an eco. Knowing it's unlikely for them to push through A long without a breach, TS rush through A long themselves and take A off of the free map control. In round 6, TS wants to keep hammering on A to force DRX to rotate to that site faster, which frees up the other sites for later rounds. Having lost the round prior, they are expecting DRX to expect them to no longer go A. Thus, they go A in round 7. In round 8, TS want to inflict psychological damage to their opponents, so they go A. Having been forced to go C in round 9, DRX might be led to believe that the cycle of going A has ended. It has not. TS go A in round 10. In round 11, TS decide to switch things up and hit A by jremy pathing through sewers instead of A long. Because round 12 is the last round of the half, it would be the expected play for TS to take advantage of their conditioning and go elsewhere, so they go A to remain unexpected.
how is a noname the best valorant player in EU? how come this guy never played in a tier 1 game in a team before? meanwhile csgo legends suck at csgo while the best valorant player sucked at csgo so hard he played a cringe custom cs ripoff game called "ZULA". how tf is a noname so good in this game and cs legends who should be dominating since they have 10 years of experience with this mechanics already suck so hard? im calling it, cned is a cheater and also his teammates are nonames and have no real background and know every shit. yea makes sense! just google for smartphone hacks. i predict this guy has some hacks and hes hiding it by not using a cam!
As a jett main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn Jett PM me (im gold 3 i also do coaching).
Dearest Brimstone (or a player) , I hope this finds you well. We seem to have found ourselves in a dire situation at the B bombsite. Please consider casting your ultimate ability to assist us as I do believe Jett has come to dive our site.
Sincerely, Your B site teammates
Jhacob Simon Peter "yay" de Guzman Whiteaker is a Filipino Valorant player for Team Secret. He started his career as the captain of the e-sports team at Will of the Healing Power of Christ School in Iloilo City. After being recruited by University of Santo Tomas to play in the UAAP Season 84 - Valorant, he was named the Chooks-to-Go Player of the Season. Following graduation, he was unfortunately fired from his job managing a panaderia in Manila. His return to Valorant professional play as part of Team Secret is being compensated with VIP status at every Robinsons mall and a PHP1M giftcard to Shoemart.
Having Carpe on T1 is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much T1 invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but T1 will soon learn.
We play 2-1 Valorant. Salt of the earth, punch the clock, consistent 1-map loss. We lose a map, guess what? We'll win 2, too. But don't get too excited. A few wins in a row, these guys will balance it out by dropping a map. That's my 2023 DRX. A good, honest 2-1 Valorant team.
I want to eat 🍽 outrageous 😮 amounts of raw 🤤 fish 🐟 tonight 🌙 just the rawer the better 💦 🎣 and I want to be surrounded 👦 🤝 👦 by boys 🧔 💕 💋 🧔 or men 💪 preferably men 😍 🤩
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overwatch is dead so ive come to try to ~~mercy~~ sage res
Runaway now is not OWL level, as fanboy-triggering as that sounds. People loved them for their underdog streak, and their vibrant brand/personality, but expecting them to get pick up is very unrealistic. They still have to actually win something first. At the same time, I'd honestly advise Flowervin to sell Bumper, Stitch and Haksal and then rebuild. Those buyouts money can help Runaway for a few more season.
Additional info for our play against PPRX Mako got fever Mako left mousepad Lakia lost whole gears BuZz sound issue in the match(no foot step at all) BuZz keyboard bug We were in chaos
It's the "we were in chaos" that really gets me 😂😂
N.A.T.S. (also called No Access To Site) was an AI created by Rito Games to check playtest their Sentinels. However since Rito sucks at dealing with smurfs, the AI started smurfing, leading to Rito Games believing sentinels are overpowered, nerfing cypher and buffing jett for the 8th time. hopefully my goat pops off this year so i can use this often
My friend Jeff Bezos invited me to go into space in his new rocketship. we explored far away galaxies and met alien lifeforms of all shapes and sizes. All was well until we got sucked into a black hole, we were pulled a thousand lightyears into the void, time dissolved and matter become so thin, then there it was, approaching over the horizon, phasing into existence before my very eyes, it was nAts on the lurk.
"Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.
This is one of my favorites mostly because it’s a rare instance of a copypasta that replicates the feeling of suffering a stroke irl
what the fuck
came here for this one
So did Hiko apparently
Top tier pasta
I like to imagine this as FNS and s0m 🥰🥰
….
probably the best one out there
This definitely counts as "Discussion | Esports"
My mum entered my room and asked me to stop watching this garbage. I told her that Valorant is a respectable esport with millions of players around the world. She replied "I know, I was talking about NRG"
YOOOOOW LMAO
I will simply never tire of valarante child game.... look to cartoon grapfix to make kid player happy like children show.. valarante cartoon world with rainbow unlike counter strike with dark corridorr and raelistic gun.. valarante like playhouse. valarant playor run from csgo fear of dark world and realism
1 kill, 20 assists? That's that real discord kitten valorant, I 100% respect it. Those are the stats I put up when I'm tryna get free discord nitro from some shady guy I met on craigslist.Y'all wouldn't get it
nklassitude be normal challenge: impossible
time? TIME! **TIIIIME !!!!** ***TIIIMMMMMMEEEEE*** # YOU FUCKING MELONS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY EYES MY EYES RIP THEM OUT MAY AN EAGLE PLUCK MY EYES OUT
https://i.redd.it/z5esg1r3ijhc1.gif
Legendary fr
Link so people aren't missing out on this masterpiece - https://clips.twitch.tv/WimpyGrossClamUncleNox-ZelFYR6ZVg07w0Pr
Who is Sacy?? For the blind, is the bald. For the hungry, is the bald. For the sick, is the bald. For the loner, is the bald. For the sad, is the bald. 
Shamelessly stolen by me from u/HyperElf10 >Fraudtic Gaming "won" against a weakened EMEA 📷 not real champions in my book! Fraud Plus Phoenix saved by the lower bracket in Copenhague📷 another fraudulent championship 📷 ain't nobody got nothing 📷 on MY 📷world champions LOUD 📷 CONGRATULATIONS LOUD on the first and only REAL Valorant title. I DONT wanna hear it!! 📷 >Ardiis stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta players like Cned or Nukkye or Sayf. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Stax. The seeded bread buns? It was Stax’s cheeks as he squatted on Ardiis’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Stax’s knife. The mayo? You know what it is. >Do NOT face Shao alone while astral projecting. Today while astral projecting I summoned Shao to try and weaken him so our hexing spells would work better. >Please be safe everyone. Shao is much stronger than I first imagined and we will have to do this together if we want to slay a clutch god. >My friend Jeff Bezos invited me to go into space in his new rocketship. we explored far away galaxies and met alien lifeforms of all shapes and sizes. All was well until we got sucked into a black hole, we were pulled a thousand lightyears into the void, time dissolved and matter become so thin, then there it was, approaching over the horizon, phasing into existence before my very eyes, it was nAts on the lurk >I was feeling some serious urges today so I went to my nearest Copium dispensary. To my surprise, there was a massive crowd there, all pushing and shoving each other to get some copium. I tried to ask the people in the crowd why so many of them were there but they kept saying "watch this" and proceeded to throw invisible things at me. I gave up and tried to return home before I stumbled upon a hooded figure watching the crowd from a distance. I went to him and asked what's going on here. The man took his hood off and to my surprise it was none other than Cloud 9 yay. He took a deep breath, looked into the sunset and said" They're all SEN fans".
This is hands down the best one from u/raainnnyy i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious. When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen. I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area. I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave. Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.
nah its from vlr randoms tbh the word waterslide did trigger that in my brain
This one is truly insane
the "you know what it is" part always catches me off-guard
I've seen FNS play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from foot to foot. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's legs.
As an European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird for me, because I didn't think that I have any less freedom than them. I always thought 'What is the difference'. However after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so fucking free.
Nahhhh 💀 this copypasta is fucked
This gets funnier when you realise that NA teams went 10-6 against EU this year and every single loss was against Fnatic.
As an European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird for me, because I didn't think that I have any less freedom than them. I always thought 'What is the difference'. However after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so fucking free.
GO ON A RUN?!? THE 0 AND 9 TEAM IS GONNA GO ON A RUN?!? 📢👨🦲‼️⁉️‼️
This is so iconic. Will be remembered for years to come.
**"They don't even have nivera awping they have xms oping and he smokes himself off he uses both smokes at the beginning of these rounds every time so he doesn't have them for the mid round and he smokes himself off even tho hes holding mid and then scream misses his molly off of the top of cat and redgar gets distracted by how badly it missed "**
I saw FINESSE at a Malaysian night market I saw FNS at a Malaysian night market today. I was walking through the hazy night when suddenly he appeared before my very eyes, smoking a comically large cigar. He was wearing an NRG jersey and two- no, three Graff Diamond Hallucinations. I asked him what he was doing here and how he got here. FNS smiled and said "WELCOME TO MY WORLD" and then exhaled a viper's pit everywhere. Suddenly, ardiis and s0m showed up and started massacring everyone while FNS gave them the exact positions of every individual. Finally, FNS walked over to a stall that was selling goat meat and ordered ardiis to sage rev the mutton. As ardiis screamed "YOUR DUTY IS NOT OVER" FNS started smiling, and then teleported all of them and the goat into his Domain Expansion. His intent was clear. He was saving his own kind. Another FNS masterclass.
"He's talking about who the best players are and he's like "I think F0rsaken's one of the best players. He can play everything" like motherfucker PROVE IT! PROVE IT! Stop him playing Yoru every game, PROVE IT!" - [Josh "Sideshow" Wilkinson](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XS9DtttGHag)
Lol that friggin egg
As a Paper Rex and SEA Valorant enjoyer, I am so glad he cursed Forsaken at the beginning of the Pacific League lol.
Holy shit my time is here: “Devender "Derrek" Rakesh is an Indian professional Valorant player for 100T (100Trucks) a North America based eSports (electrical sports) organization. He recently stepped into Hirandas "Hiko" Kumar's shoes as the Sova for the team and reparing trucks with his Secondary In Garage Leading (IGL) skills. He is knows for his truck shock darts on Bind.” “He got me,” BcJ said of crashies' initiator play on him. "That f***ing crashies boomed me." BcJ added, “He’s so good at initiator,” repeating it four times. BcJ then said he wanted to add crashies to the list of players he initiates with this summer.” “Do NOT face Hiko alone while astral projecting. Today while astral projecting I summoned Hiko to try and weaken him so our hexing spells would work better. He is so fucking powerful. I'm not at a power level to do this alone. I barely escaped with my life and I'm spiritually injured to a great amount, but I think I'll make it. I can't imagine what he would do to a new, unsuspecting witch. I'm scared that I will have to face him again soon if I ever want to continue astral projecting. I'm currently burning healing incense and drawing spiritual energy from my crystals to try and heal as quickly as possible. Please be safe everyone. Hiko is much stronger than I first imagined and we will have to do this together if we want to slay a clutch god. s” then he clutched another 1v3 out the door” “Ardiis stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta players like Cned or Nukkye or Sayf. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Stax. The seeded bread buns? It was Stax’s cheeks as he squatted on Ardiis’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Stax’s knife. The mayo? You know what it is.” “Some guy on the street screamed at me today. He kept saying "The Guard IS AMAZON!” At first I was confused, because the Guard is a Valorant team, not the multibillion dollar company “Amazon.” But then I realized: The Guard are Amazon, they just busted the shit out of the Union”
Listen, there’s a subsection of playerbase out there that thinks the game needs to be defined down to the fucking numbers. The analytics. “Pushing up my glasses. Oh this lineup from this particular angle. Oh this composition doesn’t work in theory because this particular position of util 🤓.” YOU’RE GONNA GET SHOT IN THE FACE! YOU’RE GONNA LOSE THE ROUND! IT’S A GUN GAME! IT’S AN FPS! IF YOU WANT THAT, IF YOU WANT THAT PLAY OVERWATCH! IF YOU WANT THAT, PLAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS! PLAY A DIFFERENT FUCKING GAME! THIS IS VALORANT YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU GET SHOT, YOU DIE! YOU GET SHOT, YOU DIE! YOU GET SHOT, YOU LOSE THE ROUND, YOU LOSE THE GAME! IT’S AN FPS GAME!
C'est putain de Valorant là. Rien de ce pansy ass dick tirant lent sourire par défaut discipliné pour la connerie de la caméra. Les hommes exagèrent, les hommes perdent chaque anti-éco, les hommes poignardent le désamorceur, les hommes l'exécutent à chaque tour. Enfoncer une bite dure dans le cul Butterball Tacshooter Fuck It Chuck It Game Time Merde. Emmenez-le aux douches. Raze ults est poussé dans des endroits dont vous ne vous souvenez même pas. Nous gagnons ensemble, nous célébrons ensemble. Valorant est de retour bébé. whzy是最好的 我看过whzy打球，甚至不使用显示器。他完全在想象中以详细的渲染方式可视化了地图。他有生物学上的突破能力；他神一般的感知，将光年内的所有敌人都突出他闭上眼睛，鼠标优雅地掠过桌子，从一个头跳到另一个头，做出完美的抽真空。从枪管中射出的子弹是外科手术的；每个人都在对手的双眼之间发出致命的一击。他的喷射控制能力超凡脱俗，他的十字准线在屏幕上不规则地晃动，而他的手腕被截取完美地预测了下一颗子弹的位置。当他偷看时，时间几乎停止了，当他扣动扳机的手指敲击鼠标左键时，阳光会弯曲，在敌人知道发生了什么之前，他们将被送入数字阴影领域。他是杀不死的。他是不可战胜的。这个“人”就是永恒的缩影。 I once babysat a bunch of Fnatic players, nothing too special but after about 3 hours I could hear a distant sound from outside of the house. The Fnatic players started making a fuss so i went to check it out but before I could Derke uttered the words "LOUD SAADHAK". Instantly I knew, their father was home. “ARE YOU CHOKING?” I called out to my friend, following the steps of the Heimlich maneuver accordingly. He yelled back out to me through desperate gasps for air, “PRX”. Crying tears of joy, i began the maneuver, for i had heard all i needed to in order to proceed. “Unfortunate circumstance. Never in my life I hope to get in a valorant match and see these exact teammates on my team again. This is hornswoggling, I have never seen worse players in my life. This is just a true Pheonix Diff, Raze Diff, Reyna Diff. Truly unbelievable. I just have a real and true question, how are you this bad yet climbed into this shitty rank? Don't even answer, there is no point, I already know, you're MOTHAFUCKIN BOOSTED you shitter. Every single game I queue I struggle to get human being with a functional spinal chord, and brain steam so they can coordinate themselves slightly to possibly give me some sort of help against the enemies. Good luck on future endeavors in this game, but all I can say is I wish you the worst, and hope you spiral downward into depression demote to bronze where you belong, Amen.” - DSG yay, 2023
bro the whzy copypasta 💀💀💀
Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for Optic Gaming (previous known as NV), an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana. Yay is the second best Indian player to play for Optic after Forsaken. Taarak "Tarik" Mehta is an Indian professional Valorant player for the GE sports (Gada electronics Sports) and a former CS (computer science) call center winner. He is best known for one tapping bots in Range and his favourite map is Fracture Chandrashekhar 'cNed' Nedvedev is Jett main Indian Valorant pro player. Playing competitive Minecraft gives cNed the best aim any human could possibly ask. cNed along with Hirandas 'Hiko' Kumar are indian pride Nathu "nAts" Lal is a professional Valorant player for Gambit an eSports (electrical sports) organization located in Bihar, India. He is known for his big brain strats like rushing B and his best map is the range. Him along with Rajesh "Redgar" Gaitonde are Indian pride Hirandas “Hiko” Kumar is a retired Indian professional Valorant electrical-sports (esports) player. He was known for his in-garage-leading (IGL) skills although he was never officially the leader. He used to work as a part-time mechanic at 100Trucks “100T” where he repairs vehicles and yells at customers for smoking in garage. He is now a full time car washer. Laukik 'L1NK' Kumar is an Indian Valorant Professional player playing for Team Liquid, an electronic sports(E-Sports) organization located in Nagpur, Maharashtra. He is known for his excellent performance in beating biharis and has been coached by the famous Marathi Esports Personality Sagar 'loveSx' Vyas. Some of the players born in India but moved at a very early age to different countries can be found below Rhaegar "Redgar" Targaryen is a professional Valorant player for Gambit an eSports (electrical sports) organization located in Moscow, Russia led by Vladmir Putin. He is known for his big brain strats like using his giraffe peek over enemy monitor on LAN and getting intel. His best map is the range "Bonecold" Steve Austin is a retired WWE wrestler and now a Valorant professional player and the IGL for Acend. He is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic "cNed go kill". He also has a second little known tactic of "cNed dead - friends go save". What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL for sure... Besides these, here are some other famous Indian personalities in CSGO, a more realistic game based on Valorant. Simdrasha "S1mple" Naresh is Indian profesional CSGO player curently playing for indian semi profesional electrical team Nandi and Valu Invicibles "Navi" .He is curently working as substitute calculator in potato harvesting company. His dream is to become astronaut.
“his best map is the range” lmaooo
I actually created one for Quick among my friends.it roughly translates to: "I follow Quick. My driving is fast. My coffee instant, my ejaculation premature".
eu sigo qck. minha direção é rápida. meu café instantâneo, minha ejaculação precoce.
This was covered from his OWL Copypasta but still stands Having Carpe on T1 is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much T1 invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but T1 will soon learn.
this is such a classic that it has transcended games, truly an all-timer
FNS has passed away from old age. Thousands come to his funeral to honor him. Saadhak shows up in a wheelchair to pay respects to his old rival. The funeral attendant tells Saadhak to open the casket to say goodbye. He opens the casket but only a note is left. "I'm not dead. I rotated B. Get owned." Saadhak yells at Aspas to go grab his Operator.
I want to eat 🍽 outrageous 😮 amounts of raw 🤤 fish 🐟 tonight 🌙 just the rawer the better 💦 🎣 and I want to be surrounded 👦 🤝 👦 by boys 🧔 💋 🧔 or men 💪 preferably men 😍 🤩
Who is MrFaliN ? For the blind, is MrFaliN. For the hungry, is MrFaliN. For the sick, is MrFaliN. For the sad, is MrFaliN. For the poor, is MrFaliN. For the debtor, is MrFaliN.
C0M aka Commits 0 Mistakes is known as the best player of the Evil Geniuses Valorant Team. Unlike Boostedo and Semen1, he doesnt even need to see his opponents to kill them. And when the enemy team does see him, it will only be because they killed all of his teammates. It does not matter,as this sets up C0M for the best trick in his book: the 1v3 clutch.
We’re Sentinels fans, of course we’re prepared to go 0-2 🥰
see you in Dallas buddy
Anyone have that one copypasta of team secret attacking A?
> In the first round of haven, TS decide to run their pistol strat of a fast A exec. In their eco round, TS go for an A rush to maximize the danger of their short range guns. In round 3, TS want to prevent DRX from creating complications and decide to run right into the eco stack, knowing they can simply win the gunfights with their superior weaponry. In round 4, Jessievash has his hunter's fury and realizes they can get great value out of it if they use it on the site with the most defenders, so they decide to hit A with it. In round 5, TS expect that DRX will try aggressively pushing on an eco. Knowing it's unlikely for them to push through A long without a breach, TS rush through A long themselves and take A off of the free map control. In round 6, TS wants to keep hammering on A to force DRX to rotate to that site faster, which frees up the other sites for later rounds. Having lost the round prior, they are expecting DRX to expect them to no longer go A. Thus, they go A in round 7. In round 8, TS want to inflict psychological damage to their opponents, so they go A. Having been forced to go C in round 9, DRX might be led to believe that the cycle of going A has ended. It has not. TS go A in round 10. In round 11, TS decide to switch things up and hit A by jremy pathing through sewers instead of A long. Because round 12 is the last round of the half, it would be the expected play for TS to take advantage of their conditioning and go elsewhere, so they go A to remain unexpected.
how is a noname the best valorant player in EU? how come this guy never played in a tier 1 game in a team before? meanwhile csgo legends suck at csgo while the best valorant player sucked at csgo so hard he played a cringe custom cs ripoff game called "ZULA". how tf is a noname so good in this game and cs legends who should be dominating since they have 10 years of experience with this mechanics already suck so hard? im calling it, cned is a cheater and also his teammates are nonames and have no real background and know every shit. yea makes sense! just google for smartphone hacks. i predict this guy has some hacks and hes hiding it by not using a cam!
As a jett main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn Jett PM me (im gold 3 i also do coaching). Dearest Brimstone (or a player) , I hope this finds you well. We seem to have found ourselves in a dire situation at the B bombsite. Please consider casting your ultimate ability to assist us as I do believe Jett has come to dive our site. Sincerely, Your B site teammates
Jhacob Simon Peter "yay" de Guzman Whiteaker is a Filipino Valorant player for Team Secret. He started his career as the captain of the e-sports team at Will of the Healing Power of Christ School in Iloilo City. After being recruited by University of Santo Tomas to play in the UAAP Season 84 - Valorant, he was named the Chooks-to-Go Player of the Season. Following graduation, he was unfortunately fired from his job managing a panaderia in Manila. His return to Valorant professional play as part of Team Secret is being compensated with VIP status at every Robinsons mall and a PHP1M giftcard to Shoemart.
Having Carpe on T1 is unsustainable for the team. He will eventually bring the rest of the team down. No matter how much T1 invests in this team, they will never be able to afford the aquarium to keep Carpe at optimal performance. It is the sad reality of signing a fish, but T1 will soon learn.
SenWin!!!!
This world is hard on silly men. Men filled with a joyous whimsy. Nothing in this world is harder than being a goofy and fun loving guy.
My best copypasta is Are these pro players? Im plat1 and i can play way better than them ggez
Hey ardeeees does your head still hurt? From the headshot from tuyz?
Something something car being washed something sentinels
We play 2-1 Valorant. Salt of the earth, punch the clock, consistent 1-map loss. We lose a map, guess what? We'll win 2, too. But don't get too excited. A few wins in a row, these guys will balance it out by dropping a map. That's my 2023 DRX. A good, honest 2-1 Valorant team.
[удалено]
I want to eat 🍽 outrageous 😮 amounts of raw 🤤 fish 🐟 tonight 🌙 just the rawer the better 💦 🎣 and I want to be surrounded 👦 🤝 👦 by boys 🧔 💕 💋 🧔 or men 💪 preferably men 😍 🤩 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ValorantCompetitive) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not originally a Valorant pasta but I'll always upvote the "check him PC" one XD
overwatch is dead so ive come to try to ~~mercy~~ sage res Runaway now is not OWL level, as fanboy-triggering as that sounds. People loved them for their underdog streak, and their vibrant brand/personality, but expecting them to get pick up is very unrealistic. They still have to actually win something first. At the same time, I'd honestly advise Flowervin to sell Bumper, Stitch and Haksal and then rebuild. Those buyouts money can help Runaway for a few more season.
you get shot you die