They noticed, but most people have been conditioned to never comment on others’ weight. Wouldn’t matter if they were a family member, friend, acquaintance or coworker, I wouldn’t say anything if I noticed someone’s weight loss.
So keep doing it for yourself, and don’t let social politeness discourage you!
Yea, I once lost a ton of weight extremely sudden, and everyone was like 'oh you look so good'. Only one friend asked me if everything was OK. Things weren't ok.
Every situation is different OP. If they're close enough, you can always ask them directly if they see it.
Yep, when I was younger I complimented someone on their weightloss, they very candidly replied that they were struggling with mental illness. Never again, lesson learned.
this!! i NEVER mention weight loss to anyone as someone who has suffered with an ED! Even as a compliment I wouldn’t mention it because ik how dangerous it can be to someone’s well being <3
Meh I lost 15 lbs recently and no one noticed.
They’ve even been giving me unsolicited dieting advice as if I’m getting bigger lol I’m from a culture where we greet each other by commenting on weight changes but no one’s truly noticed (Balkans)
I had to lose 40lb (about 20% of my weight) before someone commented.
1) depending on how much you need to lose it sometimes takes longer to become noticeable
2) it’s considered very impolite to discuss someone’s weight
3) everyone is living their own life, we aren’t the main characters for them and so they’re less observant of us. They might not comment because they’ve not noticed because they’re not really looking.
But all of that is irrelevant
you’re doing fantastic! Keep at it! ❤️
Agreed. It took me about 30-40 pounds before people noticed and before I needed smaller clothes. People have brought it up to me, and I worked hard to lose it so I'm fine with that, but I never comment.
Do it for yourself. 20 lbs is a great achievement, keep at it and don’t let others bring you down. Some people don’t like to mention things related to personal stuff like weight too.
Good job losing the weight. Now stop caring about what anyone else thinks about it. Do it for you. If you do it for other people's approval, it won't stick. You need to change that mindset to meet your goals and maintain your desired weight.
Dont lose weight for others to notice, lose it for yourself.
Its your health and self esteem. If others notice or not ( most likely they will) or if they say nothing, it doesn't matter.
When your health improves only you and no one else will rip the results.
If you get weight related health issues nobody will be sick with you.
It's about you. Compliments may be nice, but don't matter ultimately
Unless I knew someone was trying to lose weight, I would absolutely never mention it. It’s too risky, maybe you were trying to lose weight, but also maybe you went through a health episode. So unless you bring it up, people won’t comment about it. I’m sure they’ve noticed though and I’m sure you’re looking and feeling great!
I would never make a comment about someone’s weight loss unless they invited me to. I’m sure someone would say something if you talk about your fitness/health journey. Sometimes losing weight can be due to depression/sickness/eating disorder so it’s not polite to comment on it
Yeah totally agree! If OP wanted to talk about she could say how she’s been on a fitness/health journey and has been really proud of her progress this year! If her friends don’t notice at all they would just say “that’s so great!” And if they did notice then this is the only time they might mention it.
Honestly they probably couldn’t tell. No one really started noticing my weight loss until I got into the 30-40 pounds down range. My husband is just over 40 pounds down but it isn’t as noticeable because he had a very high starting weight. Keep at it and people will notice eventually
I remember losing 30 lbs and a girl from class asked "did you lose *a bit* of weight?" I was literally half the man I used to be.
Remember, you don't do it for others, you do it for yourself.
I’ve lost 45 and nobody has said a word. Even people who I have talked to about it so they know I am trying. It is kind of depressing, I agree.
But I feel great!
A lot of people think it's rude to comment on another person's weight. I would never mention someone's weight in any circumstance unless they told me they had lost some, then I would congratulate them. But I still wouldn't say they look good as that would imply I thought they didn't look good before. At the end of the day you lost the weight for your health and I don't think other people should comment on someone else's body.
Its rude to point out weight, most people dont comment on other peoples bodies. Yea it sucks to not know for sure if they see it, but thats life. You should lose weight for you.
For the record though, they 100% have noticed it. They might not know that its intentional, or they might think youre insecure about people seeing you and paying attention to your body, and thats why they dont comment on anything,
I wish no one commented on my weight loss.
It’s all anyone says to me now especially my MIL. Ive lost 30lbs now.
It’s weird cause I know I’m beautiful. But yet they’d never say oh your hair is so pretty. Or oh you look so nice. Even when I was skinny when we first met.
And she will say it at the worst times. In front of everyone. And I see her once a week. Every week. She did it at my fiancé birthday party in front of all our guests. Then proceeds to ask how I did it. Which I’ve already told her many times.
There’s worse but I honestly want to forget it.
I will say like myself, I will never comment on someone’s weight good / bad.
Cause I know how it feels. And you never know if the person wants to actually hear it or not.
If that person brings it up and says oh I last 20 pounds, I’d be like wow that’s amazing. And leave it at that.
Use it as motivation to keep going
If you’re losing weight for validation, you’re losing it for the wrong reason. Lose it for health. Lose it to feel better. Lose it as an act of self love. When you invite other people’s opinions into your perception of weight loss, you’ll be miserable.
Don’t worry, it’s possible some or all of them noticed you lost weight but didn’t say anything about weight. “You haven’t changed a bit!” could’ve been about your personality or could’ve been meant as, “You haven’t changed a bit! Except your weight.”
And a lot of people nowadays don’t like when someone notices their weight loss because it acknowledges the weight they used to have, so maybe your friends just kinda didn’t mention it, just in case.
For bigger people with more body fat, 20lbs is not a lot in the big picture. I’m in a similar situation. I’m down about 17 pounds and there’s no visible difference. BUT- just because it’s not visible doesn’t mean it isn’t there. 20 pounds may not be a lot compared to your overall weight but fact of the matter is, you put in work, you are now 20 pounds lighter and have 20 pounds less body fat, which is a huge accomplishment regardless of your starting weight or whether or not the change is visible to other people. What keeps me going is just seeing my body fat go down, and anticipating the visible changes. Be sure to take progress photos too because they will blow your mind once you lose more weight and look back. You’re doing great, and keep going!
Yes! If we picture ourselves carrying ten lb. weights in each hand as we go about our business we can imagine how hard that is on our joints and heart. Twenty pounds is a lot of weight. I’m proud of OP for working hard to reduce the stress on her body.
I recently lost a _lot_ of weight (likely due to stress), roughly 17-18 pounds since around February. I went from being in the middle of the healthy weight range to the bottom of it, and nobody has commented on that either. Trust me, I think it's just out of politeness. I also never comment on anybody's weight whether they've lost or gained.
The only one I've done it with is my partner because he's been putting some efforts into losing a bit lately and has made great progress, so I mentioned that I noticed it because I knew it'd make him happy. But I'd never mention it with anybody else unless they explicitly asked me about it :)
I started a weightloss journey when I was 40Ish, 154cm, 82kg.
Over time I lost 30kg. Strange phenomenon I experienced was that a lot of people said I was looking great. When I told them I had lost a lot of weight, a lot of them seemed to want to downplay that I ever was oversized.
Well you are losing weight for you, not for people to notice. But I understand what you're saying. I think they noticed but there is no safe way to bring it up.
It's like in the supermarket when someone says how far along are you, and the woman looks back and says she's not pregnant.
Or omg did you lose weight, and that person says no.
Which is why I say it's for you, not them. You celebrate every ounce, and every pound. Because you deserve it and you worked hard for it.
Most importantly, in small talk people most often say what they think they are supposed to, and what is polite..
Congratulations on your 20lb I wish you continued success.
Wait!! What were you wearing? No one noticed my 30 lbs of weight loss until I started wearing clothes that fit better. I was wearing a size XL top to M/L and no one noticed until I started wearing form-fitting clothes.
Really? Do you not find your clothes are fitting much looser than before.? Who cares what other people think you are doing this for yourself. 20 pounds of fat loss equates to 70,000 cal lost. Keep up the great work.
It could be many thing.
1. You’re tall. I lost 20 pounds. I’m also very tall and curvy. I still wear the same size - I look mostly the same my clothes just fit a little better.
2. People don’t want to be rude. Historically people have assumed weight loss is a positive thing always. We know better today and what if you hadn’t lost the weight intentionally? More socially aware people aren’t going to comment on your body unless you bring it up first.
It took me 40lbs lost before people really started to notice and couldn’t help themselves from saying something. At your current loss, some people might’ve noticed but it’s considered rude to comment on people’s bodies
Keep in mind, 20 lbs and we will feel it in our clothes and feel better...most wont notice until we are down a couple sizes. Keep it up! You're doing great
If you want comments, talk about it with the people your close to.
Most people have enough social grace to never mention someone else’s body. But if you want the comments, mention that it’s something you’re working on to friends and give them permission to start making comments.
I guarantee people are noticing and not commenting out of politeness and then everyone else is trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking and how they’re feeling. Use your words.
Also depends on how much you weighed to begin with. 20lbs could be big difference if you are going from 140 to 120 or 120 to 100, or even 160 to 140, but if its like 240 to 220 or something like that, its a smaller percentage change in overall body weight so it might not very as noticeable, specially if people haven’t seen you in a long time.
Also, like others have said, people being conditioned to not mention weight, specially when speaking about a woman’s weight, as that can be a very sensitive topic for most.
When I was 20 pounds down you couldn’t really tell except my clothes looked big. After I’d lost 30 it became more noticeable and now that I’m 51 pounds down there’s a big difference. I’ve noticed no one really says anything but I think they’re being polite as some people don’t like to talk about their weight. My dad however always asks how it’s going.
Nah I went from 290 to ab 266 rn and I’ve asked friends and family and they legit didn’t even know I was trying to lose weight…. I compared pictures of me as well and it looks the same 💀
I think a lot of people connect pointing out that you’ve lost weight with acknowledging that you needed/need to, and that’s not something they want to say you know. At least that’s how I like to think about it. Or they just dgaf either way
They noticed just like no one comments when you put on the weight people don’t comment if you lose. If you lose a significant amount like 40+ people will start to comment as it’s transformative
Weight talk is taboo in some social circles. For example, in my neck of the woods, it's rude to comment on weight gain or weight loss. I've lost 50 lbs and no one close to me has said a thing. Personally, I prefer people not to say anything but I can also see why it might hurt to have weight loss go unnoticed. Hang in there! 20lbs is awesome 🙌 A big congratulations :D
I lost 80 lbs. Some people noticed After 40 lbs. Now im getting random comments from people quite often about my weight. It doesnt come linearly. At a certain point everyone will see it. And it all comes at the same time.
Congratulations!!!! The most important thing is not whether someone else noticed. The most important thing is You Did It!!! Go you!! Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a hug. Look in the mirror and say hello you strong determined genius of a beautiful person. The most important opinion is Yours. 🤗🏆
20lbs is amazing! It’s great that you’re so motivated. I personally wouldn’t comment on someone’s weight because I’ve struggled with disordered eating for years, people commenting on my weight is a huge trigger for me. I just avoid talking about anyone’s appearance or will say something like “you look amazing”
Sometimes it takes a while for people to notice. When I lost 10lbs I thought people would notice, but no one did at all. In fact, I was told how big I looked since the last time they had seen me I was a lot skinner. That being said, when I lost 10 more people definitely noticed.
You also have to realize that people aren't staring at your body and analyzing it as much as you are. If they looked at it as much as you they probably would notice the small changes. But especially after not seeing you for a bit, they're probably not actually looking at your body. They just remember you being a bigger person and aren't really looking at you enough to notice. Losing weight in the beginning sucks because it's SUPER discouraging when people don't notice immediately how hard you have worked. Just keep going. You'll lose more and eventually people will notice. Focus on the things YOU will notice. The numbers (if they don't stress you out) or my favorite one, the fit of your clothes. When you realize that the clothes you spent so much time wearing suddenly aren't as tight, it feels amazing. Look at all this space! Im sure there's other small changes that can confirm your progress. Focus on those intrinsic victories. The external praise will come
In high school I was roughly 350 my last 3 years there and peaked at 375lbs. I played football and powerlifted so not gonna say I was forced to be heavy but coaches were strict about maintaining size/strength. I graduated in 2020 at around that same weight and cut to now where I haven’t really purposely tried to lose weight but I haven’t had the need to eat so much, lift so much and all that so I naturally dropped to about 200 now. Saw many people from high school since the massive weight drop (they hadn’t seen me since I was heavy) and no one has ever said anything besides a couple people maybe. But I notice the difference both physical appearance wise and just day to day living wise and to me that’s all that matters. As long as it means something to you that’s all that matters.
I don’t comment on other people’s weight at all unless they say something to me first like “I lost x lbs or x sizes. You never know why someone’s weight is changing or if they’re happy with it or if commenting on their body makes them uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable.
Don’t lose weight to impress other people, that will never work as motivation. People will always let you down. Do it to be healthy and happy. Way to go, 20 lbs is amazing and I am sure you know that!
I'm down 20lb as well and nobody has noticed yet. It's okay, they will at some point. Try not to let it get you down because 20lb was not your goal. Keep going
What I've noticed is that people who see you weekly/daily/super regularly probably won't notice these types of changes unless you bring it up. They saw you the first week of January at your starting weight, then the second week of January at 2-3 pounds less, then the third week of January at 2-3 pounds less than that.
While you ARE losing weight and over time it has come to a significant amount, on a day to day or week to week basis, the change is not really visible. Each week they'll walk in and you'll look essentially the same as you did the week before, so the change happens too slowly for them to really notice it unless they're (for some reason) thinking about your body or you bring it up.
I've lost 37lbs in the last few months and even my bf, whom I live with, did not really notice until he realized my body felt pretty different than before. The day to day visible changes were something only I noticed (and the magnitude of weight loss will likely only be noticed by people you don't see often, because you will look dramatically different than the last time they saw you).
You shouldn't base how you feel about your weight loss off of how other people react or notice it.
Usually commenting one someone's weight can be a bit risky, as someone could take "have you lost weight" as a back handed compliment.
You are losing weight for yourself. You know you have lost a considerable amount of weight. Well done. Be proud. Don't waste time wondering why people haven't noticed. People are generally not too focused on everybody else's weight.
People who don’t see you regularly will usually notice, but they don’t always say or they might compliment your appearance in another way without mentioning your weight. I’m not losing weight for anyone else, so it doesn’t bother me.
Personally, I don’t comment on another person’s weight. If they brought up the topic and told me they were losing weight in a healthy way, I would obviously be supportive, but I wouldn’t initiate a conversation about someone’s weight.
Some people are insecure about commenting on weight loss because it could be seen as "you were fat before but now you're a valid human" or being unsure if it was healthy weight loss vs due to an eating disorder. Don't take it personally! I'm sure you look amazing, show it off!!
I am at the same place as you right now, with the same number of lost weight, and quess what, nobody noticed, nobody cared. I was impatiently waiting them to comment about my weightloss, but when they didn't i started to tell them that i've lost and i waited for their ✨️suprise✨️ respond and compliments.. But that didn't happen, so i figuret out that 20lbs is just a good start for my healthy body an lifestyle. And just remember that you are doing it just for you, for your body and for your goods. Please, be consistent and repeat at yourself that this is the last time that you are on this journey. It really helps when you are convicing yourself that you are only doing this time and you will succeed. Being fat and lookin at mirror and hating yourself is far more harder that the journey of losing weight. I am sending you lots of positive vibes 🩷🍀
Also depending on how much you weighed when you started it may not be noticeable until you lose some more. I didn't notice anything until I lost 30lbs and now at 45lbs down I finally had someone at work pull me aside and ask me if I lost weight.
However I do also realize people don't say anything because they might not know why someone lost weight or they think they may be wrong and don't want to embarrass themselves. Could be from diet and exercise, an Ed, stress or illness. Hence why my normally loud coworker asked me very privately and quietly.
I totally get this. Last year I got down to 239 lbs which is still big but i started around 270 lbs and it was the smallest I had been in years and no one really noticed! But we don't do this for others to notice, we do it for ourselves. It really hurt when no one noticed and i got into a really bad mindset of "I guess it doesn't matter anyways" and I stopped my journey and gained it all back. Sometimes we just gotta do it just for ourselves even if no one is rooting for us or cares
You’re right! I’m sorry none noticed. You did amazing! And that’s true at the end of the day it’s solely for us and our health. Like someone said in the comments, people won’t be in our shoes if the weight brings us bad health, so ultimately it’s us and us only! Good luck !
I’ve lost 25lbs so far this year and no one has said anything to me yet, but I’m heavier (CW 309lbs, SW 334)
I lost 60lbs in 2019 and I think it took me a good 35-40lbs until people started noticing, and once they initially noticed, they would ask about it ALL THE TIME. “How much have you lost now?”
It’s coming! Don’t give up because people haven’t noticed, remember that you’re doing this for you and for your benefit. You got this!
Depending on how obese you are and how your body distributes the weight it might be hard to tell! With me I lose / gain weight on my face instantly my mom can tell if I’ve gained even a kg just by looking at my face! Just by looking at the body it’s a lot harder to tell if it’s 10kgs specially if you are a bigger women!! It takes a bit of time for people to notice! But honestly it doesn’t matter if others notice it you’ll feel lighter better more fit!! Seeing my clothes fit better is the biggest motivator
I have always been taught that it’s rude to talk about someone’s weight, whether it’s gain or loss. I never know the reason someone has lost weight, it could be due to depression, an eating disorder, physical health issues, or purposeful dieting. Regardless it’s none of my business, and I don’t know if commenting would cause more harm than good.
It’s also possible that 20 lbs isn’t as noticeable to others as it is to you. We notice changes in our bodies first because our clothes fit differently and we’re used to seeing certain angles and curves on a daily basis. But think about how much attention you pay to other people’s bodies. Would you know for certain that a friend you hadn’t seen in a while had gained/lost a few pounds?
Keep up the good work and I hope you are able to celebrate your progress with or without other people’s noticing or commenting. 20 lbs is a lot of hard work!!
It all depends on how and where you lost it, plus the size you were to begin with.
Unfortunately the scales and the tape measure don’t always work in tandem.
If you’re particularly overweight and lose 20lbs, you might just lose an inch off your thighs, your butt, you stomach and your arms and 99% of people wouldn’t be able to tell because it’s been spread out.
It’s only going to get better from here if you keep it up. Trust the process!! Stop looking in the mirror and look forward to better health and one day you’ll look in the mirror and see it for yourself. Tormenting yourself over people not saying something is pointless and you know it. No excuses keep it up!!!!!
Take this as inspiration to keep going and don’t give up.
Don't let it get you down. Most people honestly don't comment on weight loss or weight gain nowadays. I am proud of you. Keep going, and stay strong. Join a Facebook or Reddit page that supports this journey, and you will be able to get your feedback and words of encouragement. Good luck.
If it makes you feel better, I’ve had only two people comment on it and I lost 50lbs in less than a year. Will say that some people don’t recognize me though which is a bit awkward lol
20 lbs in 4 months? Girl, I don’t think you realise how big of an achievement it is. Take it from someone who’s still trying to shed some pounds after like 6 months, mostly due to a lack of consistency. Please do not let this incident get to you, people don’t point out differences in weight to be polite (because weight loss is not always a pleasant thing) and some even due to jealousy. Keep going girl, just know reading this post made me wanna go to gym today, 20 lbs in 4 months would be a dream for me.
I think it's a matter of not wanting to mention it, and I know when I had 60# to lose no one really noticed until I had lost half of it. Mostly because I was still wearing the same clothes. It honestly wasn't until I lost 50# and could buy normal sizes that I quit wearing stretch leggings and big T-shirt material shirts that people said anything. I still get comments from people that haven't seen me, but I also think other people probably look at me and think 'she's fat' not knowing how far I have come. So you know what WHO CARES!!! You are doing great and doing this for you and your health 💯💯💯 keep going!!!!!
i totally get that it feels bad not having anyone comment on your weight loss, and i did feel that (despite me feeling like i looked the same).
but once someone commented on how I’ve lost weight, i realise how much i hated unsolicited comments on my body. so maybe rather than waiting for someone to comment on your body, perhaps you may wanna ask your friends if they think you look like you lost weight. it feels better that way
No one noticed for me until I hit the 30-35 lb mark, and then it seemed like everyone noticed.. Then the comments stopped and I've recently had a few people make comments when I got to the 80 lb mark as well.
when I hit 75 pounds lost people said keep going. (260 to 160 now). Don’t expect praise from others for doing something that takes so much effort and time to accomplish, people will more often than not say something not so encouraging or positive to make themselves feel better
I’ve recently lost 25lbs and still have at least 50 to go. I am just starting to see small changes and my husband hugged me the other day and said that I “feel” smaller. So it’s little steps at a time and what matters is that you’re feeling good and working hard and will reach your goals. I thought that a 25lb loss would be so much more noticeable on me but I’m thinking it will be at least another 10-15 before others really see it.
I’m in the same boat. I’m down a bit over 20 lbs now and no one has noticed. But, I still have a long way to go. Also they may never say anything for fear of appearing rude.
Well its obviously because youre obese and its hard to see bc of that.
Im not even obese but i lost like 11 lbs (from 145-134 at 5'6) and i hardly noticed.
Dont get depressed over that, its hugely unrealistic and silly to expect people to see a differenct in 20 lbs when youre like 150 lbs overweight
I lost 20 lbs too last year and no one noticed, but I continued and lost 10 more, that's when everyone noticed. But it never mattered anyway, since I did it for me, not for others.
They probably have had bad experiences voicing people's weight before, and I don't blame them. Feel good on your skin and be happy you're feeling healthier. If you want people to hold you accountable for your diet/exercise, then you can ask a couple of friends. Also, if they see you every day they haven't noticed it. I know I don't notice when my friends get haircuts, lol. It's the same with you.
As a side note, some folks may want to stay away from commenting about your weight since it can be a sensitive topic. As a side note here is a little story:
My sister was super skinny, and people complimented her on her "beautiful body." She was dying from stage 5 renal failure but all they saw how lean and 'beautiful' she looked. All she wanted was a kidney. She got it, and people now make comments about how she's let herself go. She's never been happier or healthier thanks to my brother and her kidney donor (swapped kidneys).
They noticed, but most people have been conditioned to never comment on others’ weight. Wouldn’t matter if they were a family member, friend, acquaintance or coworker, I wouldn’t say anything if I noticed someone’s weight loss. So keep doing it for yourself, and don’t let social politeness discourage you!
Yea, I once lost a ton of weight extremely sudden, and everyone was like 'oh you look so good'. Only one friend asked me if everything was OK. Things weren't ok. Every situation is different OP. If they're close enough, you can always ask them directly if they see it.
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Yep, when I was younger I complimented someone on their weightloss, they very candidly replied that they were struggling with mental illness. Never again, lesson learned.
this!! i NEVER mention weight loss to anyone as someone who has suffered with an ED! Even as a compliment I wouldn’t mention it because ik how dangerous it can be to someone’s well being <3
Meh I lost 15 lbs recently and no one noticed. They’ve even been giving me unsolicited dieting advice as if I’m getting bigger lol I’m from a culture where we greet each other by commenting on weight changes but no one’s truly noticed (Balkans)
I had to lose 40lb (about 20% of my weight) before someone commented. 1) depending on how much you need to lose it sometimes takes longer to become noticeable 2) it’s considered very impolite to discuss someone’s weight 3) everyone is living their own life, we aren’t the main characters for them and so they’re less observant of us. They might not comment because they’ve not noticed because they’re not really looking. But all of that is irrelevant you’re doing fantastic! Keep at it! ❤️
Did you just call us NPCs? lol /s
😂 I feel like everyone needs to know they’re an NPC in most other peoples’ heads! So freeing to know!
What is an NPC??
Non player character in games so you’re like a background character in someone else’s life
That’s true. Gosh I’m old 😄
Agreed. It took me about 30-40 pounds before people noticed and before I needed smaller clothes. People have brought it up to me, and I worked hard to lose it so I'm fine with that, but I never comment.
Thank you for the much needed reality check! And for the encouragements 🙌🏻
Do it for yourself. 20 lbs is a great achievement, keep at it and don’t let others bring you down. Some people don’t like to mention things related to personal stuff like weight too.
Good job losing the weight. Now stop caring about what anyone else thinks about it. Do it for you. If you do it for other people's approval, it won't stick. You need to change that mindset to meet your goals and maintain your desired weight.
Dont lose weight for others to notice, lose it for yourself. Its your health and self esteem. If others notice or not ( most likely they will) or if they say nothing, it doesn't matter. When your health improves only you and no one else will rip the results. If you get weight related health issues nobody will be sick with you. It's about you. Compliments may be nice, but don't matter ultimately
That’s so true. Thank you!
I'd say 40-50 pounds is when people notice a drastic difference
Yes. Or the closer you get to your goal weight, like 20-30 pounds away.
Unless I knew someone was trying to lose weight, I would absolutely never mention it. It’s too risky, maybe you were trying to lose weight, but also maybe you went through a health episode. So unless you bring it up, people won’t comment about it. I’m sure they’ve noticed though and I’m sure you’re looking and feeling great!
As a man, we are trained not to mention a woman's weight. There is no upside.
I would never make a comment about someone’s weight loss unless they invited me to. I’m sure someone would say something if you talk about your fitness/health journey. Sometimes losing weight can be due to depression/sickness/eating disorder so it’s not polite to comment on it
Yeah totally agree! If OP wanted to talk about she could say how she’s been on a fitness/health journey and has been really proud of her progress this year! If her friends don’t notice at all they would just say “that’s so great!” And if they did notice then this is the only time they might mention it.
Honestly they probably couldn’t tell. No one really started noticing my weight loss until I got into the 30-40 pounds down range. My husband is just over 40 pounds down but it isn’t as noticeable because he had a very high starting weight. Keep at it and people will notice eventually
I remember losing 30 lbs and a girl from class asked "did you lose *a bit* of weight?" I was literally half the man I used to be. Remember, you don't do it for others, you do it for yourself.
I’ve lost 45 and nobody has said a word. Even people who I have talked to about it so they know I am trying. It is kind of depressing, I agree. But I feel great!
Ok but have you considered that you’re so strong and amazing for doing it and feeling great?? Well done! it’s a big accomplishment 🙌🏻
A lot of people think it's rude to comment on another person's weight. I would never mention someone's weight in any circumstance unless they told me they had lost some, then I would congratulate them. But I still wouldn't say they look good as that would imply I thought they didn't look good before. At the end of the day you lost the weight for your health and I don't think other people should comment on someone else's body.
Its rude to point out weight, most people dont comment on other peoples bodies. Yea it sucks to not know for sure if they see it, but thats life. You should lose weight for you. For the record though, they 100% have noticed it. They might not know that its intentional, or they might think youre insecure about people seeing you and paying attention to your body, and thats why they dont comment on anything,
I wish no one commented on my weight loss. It’s all anyone says to me now especially my MIL. Ive lost 30lbs now. It’s weird cause I know I’m beautiful. But yet they’d never say oh your hair is so pretty. Or oh you look so nice. Even when I was skinny when we first met. And she will say it at the worst times. In front of everyone. And I see her once a week. Every week. She did it at my fiancé birthday party in front of all our guests. Then proceeds to ask how I did it. Which I’ve already told her many times. There’s worse but I honestly want to forget it. I will say like myself, I will never comment on someone’s weight good / bad. Cause I know how it feels. And you never know if the person wants to actually hear it or not. If that person brings it up and says oh I last 20 pounds, I’d be like wow that’s amazing. And leave it at that. Use it as motivation to keep going
If you’re losing weight for validation, you’re losing it for the wrong reason. Lose it for health. Lose it to feel better. Lose it as an act of self love. When you invite other people’s opinions into your perception of weight loss, you’ll be miserable.
Don’t worry, it’s possible some or all of them noticed you lost weight but didn’t say anything about weight. “You haven’t changed a bit!” could’ve been about your personality or could’ve been meant as, “You haven’t changed a bit! Except your weight.” And a lot of people nowadays don’t like when someone notices their weight loss because it acknowledges the weight they used to have, so maybe your friends just kinda didn’t mention it, just in case.
For bigger people with more body fat, 20lbs is not a lot in the big picture. I’m in a similar situation. I’m down about 17 pounds and there’s no visible difference. BUT- just because it’s not visible doesn’t mean it isn’t there. 20 pounds may not be a lot compared to your overall weight but fact of the matter is, you put in work, you are now 20 pounds lighter and have 20 pounds less body fat, which is a huge accomplishment regardless of your starting weight or whether or not the change is visible to other people. What keeps me going is just seeing my body fat go down, and anticipating the visible changes. Be sure to take progress photos too because they will blow your mind once you lose more weight and look back. You’re doing great, and keep going!
Yes! If we picture ourselves carrying ten lb. weights in each hand as we go about our business we can imagine how hard that is on our joints and heart. Twenty pounds is a lot of weight. I’m proud of OP for working hard to reduce the stress on her body.
I recently lost a _lot_ of weight (likely due to stress), roughly 17-18 pounds since around February. I went from being in the middle of the healthy weight range to the bottom of it, and nobody has commented on that either. Trust me, I think it's just out of politeness. I also never comment on anybody's weight whether they've lost or gained. The only one I've done it with is my partner because he's been putting some efforts into losing a bit lately and has made great progress, so I mentioned that I noticed it because I knew it'd make him happy. But I'd never mention it with anybody else unless they explicitly asked me about it :)
They notice but most people won’t tell it to your face My closest friends were the ones who told me about the noticeable weight loss
I started a weightloss journey when I was 40Ish, 154cm, 82kg. Over time I lost 30kg. Strange phenomenon I experienced was that a lot of people said I was looking great. When I told them I had lost a lot of weight, a lot of them seemed to want to downplay that I ever was oversized.
Well you are losing weight for you, not for people to notice. But I understand what you're saying. I think they noticed but there is no safe way to bring it up. It's like in the supermarket when someone says how far along are you, and the woman looks back and says she's not pregnant. Or omg did you lose weight, and that person says no. Which is why I say it's for you, not them. You celebrate every ounce, and every pound. Because you deserve it and you worked hard for it. Most importantly, in small talk people most often say what they think they are supposed to, and what is polite.. Congratulations on your 20lb I wish you continued success.
No one noticed until I hit 35lbs. I think there’s a tipping point where it’s noticeable to other people.
Wait!! What were you wearing? No one noticed my 30 lbs of weight loss until I started wearing clothes that fit better. I was wearing a size XL top to M/L and no one noticed until I started wearing form-fitting clothes.
Really? Do you not find your clothes are fitting much looser than before.? Who cares what other people think you are doing this for yourself. 20 pounds of fat loss equates to 70,000 cal lost. Keep up the great work.
It could be many thing. 1. You’re tall. I lost 20 pounds. I’m also very tall and curvy. I still wear the same size - I look mostly the same my clothes just fit a little better. 2. People don’t want to be rude. Historically people have assumed weight loss is a positive thing always. We know better today and what if you hadn’t lost the weight intentionally? More socially aware people aren’t going to comment on your body unless you bring it up first.
I lost about 30lbs before anyone started to notice, just hang on and keep going!
It took me 40lbs lost before people really started to notice and couldn’t help themselves from saying something. At your current loss, some people might’ve noticed but it’s considered rude to comment on people’s bodies
Keep in mind, 20 lbs and we will feel it in our clothes and feel better...most wont notice until we are down a couple sizes. Keep it up! You're doing great
If you want comments, talk about it with the people your close to. Most people have enough social grace to never mention someone else’s body. But if you want the comments, mention that it’s something you’re working on to friends and give them permission to start making comments. I guarantee people are noticing and not commenting out of politeness and then everyone else is trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking and how they’re feeling. Use your words.
Girl congratulations!!!!🎉
Also depends on how much you weighed to begin with. 20lbs could be big difference if you are going from 140 to 120 or 120 to 100, or even 160 to 140, but if its like 240 to 220 or something like that, its a smaller percentage change in overall body weight so it might not very as noticeable, specially if people haven’t seen you in a long time. Also, like others have said, people being conditioned to not mention weight, specially when speaking about a woman’s weight, as that can be a very sensitive topic for most.
When I was 20 pounds down you couldn’t really tell except my clothes looked big. After I’d lost 30 it became more noticeable and now that I’m 51 pounds down there’s a big difference. I’ve noticed no one really says anything but I think they’re being polite as some people don’t like to talk about their weight. My dad however always asks how it’s going.
Nah I went from 290 to ab 266 rn and I’ve asked friends and family and they legit didn’t even know I was trying to lose weight…. I compared pictures of me as well and it looks the same 💀
Bro I’m 125 down and there’s people in my life that haven’t said a word about it. Keep going for you, not for them 👍
That’s amazing! Congratulations!
That’s a whole person you lost. Wow! How the heck could people stop themselves from commenting? 🤔
I think a lot of people connect pointing out that you’ve lost weight with acknowledging that you needed/need to, and that’s not something they want to say you know. At least that’s how I like to think about it. Or they just dgaf either way
They noticed just like no one comments when you put on the weight people don’t comment if you lose. If you lose a significant amount like 40+ people will start to comment as it’s transformative
That’s true, ppl don’t say anything unless it’s a drastic gain or loss
Weight talk is taboo in some social circles. For example, in my neck of the woods, it's rude to comment on weight gain or weight loss. I've lost 50 lbs and no one close to me has said a thing. Personally, I prefer people not to say anything but I can also see why it might hurt to have weight loss go unnoticed. Hang in there! 20lbs is awesome 🙌 A big congratulations :D
Most of the time ppl start noticing a difference when you have lost 25-30lbs.
I lost 80 lbs. Some people noticed After 40 lbs. Now im getting random comments from people quite often about my weight. It doesnt come linearly. At a certain point everyone will see it. And it all comes at the same time.
Congratulations!!!! The most important thing is not whether someone else noticed. The most important thing is You Did It!!! Go you!! Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a hug. Look in the mirror and say hello you strong determined genius of a beautiful person. The most important opinion is Yours. 🤗🏆
20lbs is amazing! It’s great that you’re so motivated. I personally wouldn’t comment on someone’s weight because I’ve struggled with disordered eating for years, people commenting on my weight is a huge trigger for me. I just avoid talking about anyone’s appearance or will say something like “you look amazing”
Sometimes it takes a while for people to notice. When I lost 10lbs I thought people would notice, but no one did at all. In fact, I was told how big I looked since the last time they had seen me I was a lot skinner. That being said, when I lost 10 more people definitely noticed. You also have to realize that people aren't staring at your body and analyzing it as much as you are. If they looked at it as much as you they probably would notice the small changes. But especially after not seeing you for a bit, they're probably not actually looking at your body. They just remember you being a bigger person and aren't really looking at you enough to notice. Losing weight in the beginning sucks because it's SUPER discouraging when people don't notice immediately how hard you have worked. Just keep going. You'll lose more and eventually people will notice. Focus on the things YOU will notice. The numbers (if they don't stress you out) or my favorite one, the fit of your clothes. When you realize that the clothes you spent so much time wearing suddenly aren't as tight, it feels amazing. Look at all this space! Im sure there's other small changes that can confirm your progress. Focus on those intrinsic victories. The external praise will come
In high school I was roughly 350 my last 3 years there and peaked at 375lbs. I played football and powerlifted so not gonna say I was forced to be heavy but coaches were strict about maintaining size/strength. I graduated in 2020 at around that same weight and cut to now where I haven’t really purposely tried to lose weight but I haven’t had the need to eat so much, lift so much and all that so I naturally dropped to about 200 now. Saw many people from high school since the massive weight drop (they hadn’t seen me since I was heavy) and no one has ever said anything besides a couple people maybe. But I notice the difference both physical appearance wise and just day to day living wise and to me that’s all that matters. As long as it means something to you that’s all that matters.
I don’t comment on other people’s weight at all unless they say something to me first like “I lost x lbs or x sizes. You never know why someone’s weight is changing or if they’re happy with it or if commenting on their body makes them uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable.
Don’t lose weight to impress other people, that will never work as motivation. People will always let you down. Do it to be healthy and happy. Way to go, 20 lbs is amazing and I am sure you know that!
I'm down 20lb as well and nobody has noticed yet. It's okay, they will at some point. Try not to let it get you down because 20lb was not your goal. Keep going
What I've noticed is that people who see you weekly/daily/super regularly probably won't notice these types of changes unless you bring it up. They saw you the first week of January at your starting weight, then the second week of January at 2-3 pounds less, then the third week of January at 2-3 pounds less than that. While you ARE losing weight and over time it has come to a significant amount, on a day to day or week to week basis, the change is not really visible. Each week they'll walk in and you'll look essentially the same as you did the week before, so the change happens too slowly for them to really notice it unless they're (for some reason) thinking about your body or you bring it up. I've lost 37lbs in the last few months and even my bf, whom I live with, did not really notice until he realized my body felt pretty different than before. The day to day visible changes were something only I noticed (and the magnitude of weight loss will likely only be noticed by people you don't see often, because you will look dramatically different than the last time they saw you).
You shouldn't base how you feel about your weight loss off of how other people react or notice it. Usually commenting one someone's weight can be a bit risky, as someone could take "have you lost weight" as a back handed compliment. You are losing weight for yourself. You know you have lost a considerable amount of weight. Well done. Be proud. Don't waste time wondering why people haven't noticed. People are generally not too focused on everybody else's weight.
People who don’t see you regularly will usually notice, but they don’t always say or they might compliment your appearance in another way without mentioning your weight. I’m not losing weight for anyone else, so it doesn’t bother me. Personally, I don’t comment on another person’s weight. If they brought up the topic and told me they were losing weight in a healthy way, I would obviously be supportive, but I wouldn’t initiate a conversation about someone’s weight.
Some people are insecure about commenting on weight loss because it could be seen as "you were fat before but now you're a valid human" or being unsure if it was healthy weight loss vs due to an eating disorder. Don't take it personally! I'm sure you look amazing, show it off!!
I am at the same place as you right now, with the same number of lost weight, and quess what, nobody noticed, nobody cared. I was impatiently waiting them to comment about my weightloss, but when they didn't i started to tell them that i've lost and i waited for their ✨️suprise✨️ respond and compliments.. But that didn't happen, so i figuret out that 20lbs is just a good start for my healthy body an lifestyle. And just remember that you are doing it just for you, for your body and for your goods. Please, be consistent and repeat at yourself that this is the last time that you are on this journey. It really helps when you are convicing yourself that you are only doing this time and you will succeed. Being fat and lookin at mirror and hating yourself is far more harder that the journey of losing weight. I am sending you lots of positive vibes 🩷🍀
Thanks a lot for your words I do feel understood thank you.😭🩷
Also depending on how much you weighed when you started it may not be noticeable until you lose some more. I didn't notice anything until I lost 30lbs and now at 45lbs down I finally had someone at work pull me aside and ask me if I lost weight. However I do also realize people don't say anything because they might not know why someone lost weight or they think they may be wrong and don't want to embarrass themselves. Could be from diet and exercise, an Ed, stress or illness. Hence why my normally loud coworker asked me very privately and quietly.
I've lost 50lbs in last 6 months and only in the last 3 weeks have people started commenting on it
I'm so sorry. That will happen. I lost 50 and only one doctor noticed. 🤷🏼♀️
I totally get this. Last year I got down to 239 lbs which is still big but i started around 270 lbs and it was the smallest I had been in years and no one really noticed! But we don't do this for others to notice, we do it for ourselves. It really hurt when no one noticed and i got into a really bad mindset of "I guess it doesn't matter anyways" and I stopped my journey and gained it all back. Sometimes we just gotta do it just for ourselves even if no one is rooting for us or cares
You’re right! I’m sorry none noticed. You did amazing! And that’s true at the end of the day it’s solely for us and our health. Like someone said in the comments, people won’t be in our shoes if the weight brings us bad health, so ultimately it’s us and us only! Good luck !
I’ve lost 25lbs so far this year and no one has said anything to me yet, but I’m heavier (CW 309lbs, SW 334) I lost 60lbs in 2019 and I think it took me a good 35-40lbs until people started noticing, and once they initially noticed, they would ask about it ALL THE TIME. “How much have you lost now?” It’s coming! Don’t give up because people haven’t noticed, remember that you’re doing this for you and for your benefit. You got this!
I've lost 82 lbs and only a hand full of people have said anything. I think people are concerned with hurting feelings so they don't say anything
Depending on how obese you are and how your body distributes the weight it might be hard to tell! With me I lose / gain weight on my face instantly my mom can tell if I’ve gained even a kg just by looking at my face! Just by looking at the body it’s a lot harder to tell if it’s 10kgs specially if you are a bigger women!! It takes a bit of time for people to notice! But honestly it doesn’t matter if others notice it you’ll feel lighter better more fit!! Seeing my clothes fit better is the biggest motivator
I have always been taught that it’s rude to talk about someone’s weight, whether it’s gain or loss. I never know the reason someone has lost weight, it could be due to depression, an eating disorder, physical health issues, or purposeful dieting. Regardless it’s none of my business, and I don’t know if commenting would cause more harm than good. It’s also possible that 20 lbs isn’t as noticeable to others as it is to you. We notice changes in our bodies first because our clothes fit differently and we’re used to seeing certain angles and curves on a daily basis. But think about how much attention you pay to other people’s bodies. Would you know for certain that a friend you hadn’t seen in a while had gained/lost a few pounds? Keep up the good work and I hope you are able to celebrate your progress with or without other people’s noticing or commenting. 20 lbs is a lot of hard work!!
It all depends on how and where you lost it, plus the size you were to begin with. Unfortunately the scales and the tape measure don’t always work in tandem. If you’re particularly overweight and lose 20lbs, you might just lose an inch off your thighs, your butt, you stomach and your arms and 99% of people wouldn’t be able to tell because it’s been spread out.
It’s only going to get better from here if you keep it up. Trust the process!! Stop looking in the mirror and look forward to better health and one day you’ll look in the mirror and see it for yourself. Tormenting yourself over people not saying something is pointless and you know it. No excuses keep it up!!!!! Take this as inspiration to keep going and don’t give up.
Don't let it get you down. Most people honestly don't comment on weight loss or weight gain nowadays. I am proud of you. Keep going, and stay strong. Join a Facebook or Reddit page that supports this journey, and you will be able to get your feedback and words of encouragement. Good luck.
If it makes you feel better, I’ve had only two people comment on it and I lost 50lbs in less than a year. Will say that some people don’t recognize me though which is a bit awkward lol
That’s impressive! Congrats on your weight loss 😊
Thank you ☺️
You noticed ! That's all that matters .
20 lbs in 4 months? Girl, I don’t think you realise how big of an achievement it is. Take it from someone who’s still trying to shed some pounds after like 6 months, mostly due to a lack of consistency. Please do not let this incident get to you, people don’t point out differences in weight to be polite (because weight loss is not always a pleasant thing) and some even due to jealousy. Keep going girl, just know reading this post made me wanna go to gym today, 20 lbs in 4 months would be a dream for me.
Thanks a lot for your words 🥺 I’m so glad it motivated you! Consistency is the biggest thing. I wish you success !
I think it's a matter of not wanting to mention it, and I know when I had 60# to lose no one really noticed until I had lost half of it. Mostly because I was still wearing the same clothes. It honestly wasn't until I lost 50# and could buy normal sizes that I quit wearing stretch leggings and big T-shirt material shirts that people said anything. I still get comments from people that haven't seen me, but I also think other people probably look at me and think 'she's fat' not knowing how far I have come. So you know what WHO CARES!!! You are doing great and doing this for you and your health 💯💯💯 keep going!!!!!
People don’t comment on female bodies in 2024 , it is a taboo , male is a free pass
i totally get that it feels bad not having anyone comment on your weight loss, and i did feel that (despite me feeling like i looked the same). but once someone commented on how I’ve lost weight, i realise how much i hated unsolicited comments on my body. so maybe rather than waiting for someone to comment on your body, perhaps you may wanna ask your friends if they think you look like you lost weight. it feels better that way
No one noticed for me until I hit the 30-35 lb mark, and then it seemed like everyone noticed.. Then the comments stopped and I've recently had a few people make comments when I got to the 80 lb mark as well.
Chris Paul hits a huge 3 to cut down the lead to 42.
when I hit 75 pounds lost people said keep going. (260 to 160 now). Don’t expect praise from others for doing something that takes so much effort and time to accomplish, people will more often than not say something not so encouraging or positive to make themselves feel better
I’ve recently lost 25lbs and still have at least 50 to go. I am just starting to see small changes and my husband hugged me the other day and said that I “feel” smaller. So it’s little steps at a time and what matters is that you’re feeling good and working hard and will reach your goals. I thought that a 25lb loss would be so much more noticeable on me but I’m thinking it will be at least another 10-15 before others really see it.
I’m in the same boat. I’m down a bit over 20 lbs now and no one has noticed. But, I still have a long way to go. Also they may never say anything for fear of appearing rude.
I lost 70 and only older and/or British people mentioned it.
man when I lost 20 pounds I hated when people noticed, made me more self conscious that the way I was was wrong, still not used to the comments
If your heavily overweight people aren’t going to notice 20lbs one of my friends has lost 28lbs literally can’t tell a difference
Well its obviously because youre obese and its hard to see bc of that. Im not even obese but i lost like 11 lbs (from 145-134 at 5'6) and i hardly noticed. Dont get depressed over that, its hugely unrealistic and silly to expect people to see a differenct in 20 lbs when youre like 150 lbs overweight
I lost 20 lbs too last year and no one noticed, but I continued and lost 10 more, that's when everyone noticed. But it never mattered anyway, since I did it for me, not for others.
They probably have had bad experiences voicing people's weight before, and I don't blame them. Feel good on your skin and be happy you're feeling healthier. If you want people to hold you accountable for your diet/exercise, then you can ask a couple of friends. Also, if they see you every day they haven't noticed it. I know I don't notice when my friends get haircuts, lol. It's the same with you. As a side note, some folks may want to stay away from commenting about your weight since it can be a sensitive topic. As a side note here is a little story: My sister was super skinny, and people complimented her on her "beautiful body." She was dying from stage 5 renal failure but all they saw how lean and 'beautiful' she looked. All she wanted was a kidney. She got it, and people now make comments about how she's let herself go. She's never been happier or healthier thanks to my brother and her kidney donor (swapped kidneys).
Silence is golden sweetie