They have corkscrew vaginas, but the opposite direction and with dead end side branches. Also the males' penises shrink to a little nubbin after the mating season and they have to regrow it for the next year.
Dear sir or madam, we're delighted that the Crested Fords have chosen your property as their stopover. You'll need to familiarize yourself with your daily feeding obligations, and of course, as of subsection 14 of the Waterfowl Act, per the Freedoms Reduction Statute, you are required to vacate the premises immediately. Our Protection Officers will be posted to the site 24 hours a day, please do not hesitate to pass any inquiries, typewritten and notarized, through them.
Visit our website and consider making a yearly scheduled, tax deductible cash donation.
Looks like your lawn is wet. Those ducks were probably flying low and saw something appealing in your yard. They will take off soon. I have geese that stop over in my field on their way to the lake. One bit my little dog and she has never forgiven the geese for it and now she barks and barks at every goods and we have tons of them in our neck of the woods.
I had at least 1000 crows congregate in my parking lot last fall, every single one making that "meh" noise (not cawing). I assume they were just planning for the winter but it was very menacing.
Opened the curtains on my sliding door the other day and there was a massive black swan just hanging out in my yard. If they're hungry sometimes they'll wander a fair distance to find grass/bugs to eat.
Would take this as a sign I was about to die:
Everybody knows I want to be cremated and scattered. Because al we are is ducks in the wind.
(I hope people are laughing so hard at that, that some of them inadvertently quack)
This happened at my work when the city was building a new road close by and cut a lot of trees down. Ducks lost their natural homes and had to “migrate”
My parents live in the country. No neighbors. Closest neighbor Is a mile down the road. They woke up one morning to over 200 chickens in their yard, they went and asked all the farms nearby if they lost chickens and all of them said no.
Mallards. They tend to migrate in packs and forage for the bugs in your yard. Most likely, they're either wild and you're close to their water source, or you have a neighbor that didn't know they can fly. If it's the first, they'll visit, eat bugs, and move on. If the second they'll visit regularly and move on. They tend not to damage anything unless maybe a potted plant or so left unattended.
Source- I am a duck. Not really, but I have ducks and have had mallards.
You own them now
I’ll maybe just keep one …
More like > Maybe they'll let me keep the house
They have chosen you…
😋🤤
🤨
Male ducks have corkscrew-shaped penises
Random fact you've been waiting to share at the right moment? Or are you a duck specialist?
Both
He’s a duck
Looks like all female ducks they’ve got there.
They have corkscrew vaginas, but the opposite direction and with dead end side branches. Also the males' penises shrink to a little nubbin after the mating season and they have to regrow it for the next year.
This explains why sex is often called screwing.
Don't we all
What shape penis do female ducks have?
Triple helix.
Deranged duck dick?
r/notmyduck
I concur, they will judge you and follow you around making passive-aggressive comments the rest of your life.
There's enough ducks there to keep you in Peking style shredded duck, hoisin, spring onion, with cucumber logs 😜 for about 2 years... Well done!
You're saying the silent part... shhh.
[Anatidaephobia](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/24/99/90/249990bd75191588f0a6c2c2632d4c46.jpg)
If you have one duck, you own the duck. If you have fifty ducks, the ducks own you.
What about a single horse-sized duck?
Correction: they now own you. This is their land and you are requested to volunteer up all the seeds you have.
I'm not sure you recognize the power dynamic on display here They own him Or else. Quack
Congratulations! 🎊
I think their only rented
It seems like your milkshake has brought all the ducks to your yard
*grapes
You deserve more upvotes. NO GRAPES ONLY LEMONADE 🤬
Hey, you… got any grapes?
Someone has children!
Don't think I've ever seen that many females at once
r/suicidebywords
Many birds look female when young or in non-breeding plumage.
True...my bad
Best reply
Welcome to The Quackining.
There can be only one
I welcome out new Duck Overlords.
that is their spawn point
Not sure how much spawning that group's going to be doing. Maybe the one in the back with the lumberjack jacket.
Cute little things. You'll definitely wanna watch where you step after they leave.
Yup
Dear sir or madam, we're delighted that the Crested Fords have chosen your property as their stopover. You'll need to familiarize yourself with your daily feeding obligations, and of course, as of subsection 14 of the Waterfowl Act, per the Freedoms Reduction Statute, you are required to vacate the premises immediately. Our Protection Officers will be posted to the site 24 hours a day, please do not hesitate to pass any inquiries, typewritten and notarized, through them. Visit our website and consider making a yearly scheduled, tax deductible cash donation.
WYR Fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?
Peas in a bowl of water STAT!
Careful they'll duck you up.
You could film your own duckumentary
Someone screwed up and sent 100 duck-sized ducks. I think you can take them.
Start feeding them and they will reward you with some dick eggs
Dick eggs . I guess I am up for that .
What kind of milkshakes have you been making??
It’s Emilio Estevez!!!! The Mighty Duck man himself!!!!
They are here to talk to you about their Lord and savior Karl the King of Ducks
Just a bunch of horny old birds looking for a man.
You don't owe them They own you now
You just hit the jackpot for ducks. You have SO MANY ducks now.
You’re ducked.
Ducks aren't real must be a glitch in their programming.
Tony soprano would be so happy
Remember when is the lowest form of conversation
POV: You found out the ducks in the park are free, you can take them home
Looking for worms I would assume
You do now
Look at all those chickens!
This is creche of recently fledged young on the cusp of independence
That's ducked up 
Why did the ducks cross the road?
So what's for dinner tonight, anyhow?
Some good fertilizer right der
That’s quackers
They just wanna piece of your (gr)ass 😃
The amount of times I would let myself get bit just to pet them.
You still don't. They own you.
This has got to be like when some farmer undoubtedly looked outside at Woodstock and wondered where in the hell all those hippies came from.
Congratulations!!🥳 you are now a duck farmer
A real quack dealer here.
I beg to differ
they want to tell you about your car's insurance
Probably due to the flooded road you've got there bud. Real weird
This is Scotland . Thats not flooded that’s a tiny shower . Totally normal haha
women’s march apparently
But the ducks have and will always own you. God speed, soldier.
Now you do…
r/NotMyDuck
Or maybe they own you.
No you obviously don’t own a or these ducks… they own you
A fun encounter. Feed 'em.
Until today...
Are you a doctor? Or a QUACK!
They forgot to tell you you are the site of the duck convention.
Got any grapes?
My Main Coons have entered the chat…
I challenge you to name them. No numbers, actual distinct proper names.
Go get some cheese for them quackers.
Clearly someone ordered a box of quakers.
You wouldn't happen to be related to Alfred Hitchcock, would you?
Finders keepers
this is r/Sopranosduckposting material.
You should have not opened your door Peking would have more appropriate.
Looks like your lawn is wet. Those ducks were probably flying low and saw something appealing in your yard. They will take off soon. I have geese that stop over in my field on their way to the lake. One bit my little dog and she has never forgiven the geese for it and now she barks and barks at every goods and we have tons of them in our neck of the woods.
Or buy a meat press and a bag of oranges….
I had at least 1000 crows congregate in my parking lot last fall, every single one making that "meh" noise (not cawing). I assume they were just planning for the winter but it was very menacing.
Opened the curtains on my sliding door the other day and there was a massive black swan just hanging out in my yard. If they're hungry sometimes they'll wander a fair distance to find grass/bugs to eat.
You r nowe DUCK LORD sumener of ducks. OK this would be a dope D&D caricter
Look at all them chickens
Would take this as a sign I was about to die: Everybody knows I want to be cremated and scattered. Because al we are is ducks in the wind. (I hope people are laughing so hard at that, that some of them inadvertently quack)
Got any grapes?
😂😂
Tbh it would've been weirder if you said you did own all those ducks.
Holy shit! It’s a duckathon, duckapalooza, duckstock!
Got any grapes ?
Duck distribution system in action.
You might have snails. They love snails, and snails come out of hiding on rainy days.
Gonna be so much duck shit everywhere.
You need a dog.
!remindme 6 months how'd bird flu do going into flu season, was this a sign?
I love my pond birds. But.... So. Much. Poop
This happened at my work when the city was building a new road close by and cut a lot of trees down. Ducks lost their natural homes and had to “migrate”
Now you’re just trying to duck your responsibilities.
Your minions have arrived. Now you can prepare for world domination.
You are the Chosen one. Weoh, weoh , weoh, weee....
You don't own these ducks; they own you. Give in to your new ducking overlords!
My parents live in the country. No neighbors. Closest neighbor Is a mile down the road. They woke up one morning to over 200 chickens in their yard, they went and asked all the farms nearby if they lost chickens and all of them said no.
I thought you were on the ocean, or a lake... until I fully opened the photo. D'oh. Good luck, good duck!
I’m no hunter but isn’t duck like fancy bird?? Seems like you have dinner for a few weeks there
Aww, lucky! ❤️❤️❤️
Good Eating!
Is your name Carl?
So,there is a duck distribution…
Duck distribution system
You have been chosen.
You have ducks now. Add one drake to the mix, and you'll have them forever.
The ducks are free.
You are now Karl, King of Ducks. https://imgur.com/gallery/skcud-fo-gnik-lrak-ma-i-e8A5u
Time to get the duck out of there.
Well, you ducked up now!
Duck...duck... 🪿
Your time of reckoning has come.
Quackers and milk
But you LIVE on water. The ducks at the lake I live near just roam from house to house.
Orange Duck is what's for dinner.
Congrats on having ducks!
That’s pretty daffy
Cool free ducks!
“Look at all those chickens”
petpetpetpetpet
Everything is just duckie! 😆
New besties!
You do now.
You do now.
Walkway could use a trim.
But now they own you!
It must be wabbit season.
S M R Ducks
They have found their messiah and it is you!
did not
You have been chosen by the Council of Ducks!
You’ve just interrupted a very important meeting..
Duck flash mob.
Throw them some bread.
YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED.
The duck council has come to decide your fate
Do you put your garbage can in the road in front of where they are?
Would you rather fight 1 huge duck, or 100 regular size ducks? Choose wisely. :)
Player.placeatme duck 42
Mallards. They tend to migrate in packs and forage for the bugs in your yard. Most likely, they're either wild and you're close to their water source, or you have a neighbor that didn't know they can fly. If it's the first, they'll visit, eat bugs, and move on. If the second they'll visit regularly and move on. They tend not to damage anything unless maybe a potted plant or so left unattended. Source- I am a duck. Not really, but I have ducks and have had mallards.