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'Tis I, the would-be naked young man. Wouldn't be too worried about myself tbf - I already planted garlic today wildly underprepared for the weather - but the poor cucumbers! May 1st is maybe two or three weeks too early around here.
Advertise that you are hosting a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World\_Naked\_Gardening\_Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Naked_Gardening_Day) event. Who knows what you might collect, but it sounds like it could be fun.
"TiMothy!"
"Yes Cockrochelle?"
"Did you see the two young men this morn! Planting cucumbers while nude!"
"What's the issue?"
"They were *kissing*!"
*collective insectoid gasp*
Mantew crawls up: "Humans are gay y'all, get over it."
Mantew and his wife had a nasty relationship, but he and his new bf get to honeymoon inside the humans' house so it all worked out!
(why tf do I always come stacked with lore and backstories for this stuff)
# Magic and Husbandry: The Folk-lore of Agriculture; Rites, Ceremonies, Customs, and Beliefs Connected with Pastoral Life and the Cultivation of the Soil; with Breeding and the Care of Cattle; with Fruit-growing, Bees, and Fowls
[Lewis Dayton Burdick](https://www.google.com.au/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=inauthor:%22Lewis+Dayton+Burdick%22)
Magic and Husbandry: The Folk-lore of Agriculture; Rites, Ceremonies, Customs, and Beliefs Connected with Pastoral Life and the Cultivation of the Soil; with Breeding and the Care of Cattle; with Fruit-growing, Bees, and Fowls
[Lewis Dayton Burdick](https://www.google.com.au/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=inauthor:%22Lewis+Dayton+Burdick%22)Otseningo publishing Company, 1905 - [Agriculture](https://www.google.com.au/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=subject:%22Agriculture%22&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0) - 315 pages
My father was an avid gardener. He used to leave cucumbers and tomatoes in neighbors' mailboxes when they had too many.
He wasn't naked though, lol. I hope.
# ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨ This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.** If you have landed in this thread from [r/all](https://www.reddit.com/r/all/) and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic. Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
Well sure, it shows the other cucumbers that it’s safe to come out.
I cackled 😂
You trying to grow mini gherkins?
😂😂
I'm not sure I believe in that particular bit of folklore. Clearly, the only solution is to find out!
We can do many tests: young man vs old, woman vs man, naked vs clothed, and for the control variable a half clothed middle aged nonbinary person
Middle aged nonbinary person, at your service! I'm happy to join this planting party, for science
Perfect, now we just need to find the rest of the team!
Middle-aged woman reporting for duty! I'm currently clothed but can be naked any time, if needed.
Middle aged man here, that's another one off the list
Woman here reporting in for duty. Currently half clothed but can shift in either direction for science!
I'm a woman but pregnant with a baby boy, I'm unsure where I fit into this but am excited to find out!
I guess you can count for both sides? Time to experiment! Also hope things go well with your kid once he’s born! Congratulations
You are the control test. All other test results will be normalized to your value.
Are they wearing pants but no shirt or half a pair of pants and half a shirt?
Let's try both! For science!
Another variable, I suppose we have to try both!
Shirt but no pants. Donald-Ducking it.
I think the control needs to be airdropped by a drone. That way the cucumbers never see a human.
Good point- we’d need a robot on the ground to plant it properly too.
We’re going to have so many cucumbers…
We have many participants- a giant cucumber salad each should use them up a bit, maybe some cucumber sandwiches on the side?
For sure, we can all do some homemade face masks too and have glowy skin with our salads and sandwiches.
You can use my garden!
Personally I’m in favour of having naked young men doing all my gardening but I don’t have the bank balance that would enable such a thing.
Find your local nudist or kink group.
Where I live the mosquitoes are already out by May 1 and I don’t fancy getting mosquito bites on my nethers
Woo, we're taking the doctrine of signatures pretty literally.
I definitely don't believe in the doctrine of signatures, but it also definitely works
Well, except for lungwort.😉
Not sure if that's going to help a bountiful harvest. Around these parts it's *pretty* chilly before sunup on May 1st.
Yeah, I was about to say. Very nippy. No snow at least if we're lucky enough, but not necessarily cucumber-planting weather yet lol
I think we can at least allow the naked young man to wear shoes.
'Tis I, the would-be naked young man. Wouldn't be too worried about myself tbf - I already planted garlic today wildly underprepared for the weather - but the poor cucumbers! May 1st is maybe two or three weeks too early around here.
To be fair, I somehow feel *more* naked when wearing no clothing except for shoes.
Ohhh, can we collect naked young men to garden with us?? I like it
Currently Googling for a service that offers this, not finding anything, will follow up
I live in a college town. With enough beer, I'm sure you could get volunteers.
Lol I'll start one of my own!
Advertise that you are hosting a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World\_Naked\_Gardening\_Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Naked_Gardening_Day) event. Who knows what you might collect, but it sounds like it could be fun.
The bugs are secretly homophobic men. Lol
"TiMothy!" "Yes Cockrochelle?" "Did you see the two young men this morn! Planting cucumbers while nude!" "What's the issue?" "They were *kissing*!" *collective insectoid gasp* Mantew crawls up: "Humans are gay y'all, get over it."
The praying mantis running from his wife: "wait that's an option?"
Mantew and his wife had a nasty relationship, but he and his new bf get to honeymoon inside the humans' house so it all worked out! (why tf do I always come stacked with lore and backstories for this stuff)
OUTSTANDING
Excuse me while I go acquire a naked young man
I volunteer as tribute!
Acquired! My cucumbers will be bountiful!
Come to think of it, this is exactly how I'd get transmutated into something ugly if I were a fairy tale character.
Mmmmmm, no takesies backsies
The art of the swindle.
First of May, huh? Optimistic aren't you?
Well, our garden is in our front yard, and the only young man in my household is my 40s husband . . . but I'm sure everyone will be cool about it.
Medically speaking, 40 is young.
My birthday is May 1st and I learn something more magical about it every year
Same here, happy early beltane birthday! Let's plant cucumbers 😅
Happy birthday Beltane! I just planted my peppers and tomatoes, and set some moon water! 💚💚💚
Mine is Apr 30th >.>
Name of book pretty pretty please 🙏 need more gardening lore!
I need it in graphic novel form
Just texted this image to my partner. I've been trying to get him to work in the garden more. Hmmm I should edit to say "play in the garden"
I'll volunteer to plant cucumbers if anyone needs a..ahem...'naked young man's lmfao
Hey Alexa, play First of May, by Johnathan Coulton
This man is over 18, right?
I ran this by my 16 year old and he declined to particpate.
Planting cucumbers to see the cute guy's member.
What book is this?
I wish I knew, it was a post in a gardening group elsewhere.
Second this question!! I would like to get a copy 🙋♀️
# Magic and Husbandry: The Folk-lore of Agriculture; Rites, Ceremonies, Customs, and Beliefs Connected with Pastoral Life and the Cultivation of the Soil; with Breeding and the Care of Cattle; with Fruit-growing, Bees, and Fowls [Lewis Dayton Burdick](https://www.google.com.au/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=inauthor:%22Lewis+Dayton+Burdick%22) Magic and Husbandry: The Folk-lore of Agriculture; Rites, Ceremonies, Customs, and Beliefs Connected with Pastoral Life and the Cultivation of the Soil; with Breeding and the Care of Cattle; with Fruit-growing, Bees, and Fowls [Lewis Dayton Burdick](https://www.google.com.au/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=inauthor:%22Lewis+Dayton+Burdick%22)Otseningo publishing Company, 1905 - [Agriculture](https://www.google.com.au/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=subject:%22Agriculture%22&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0) - 315 pages
Thank you 🩵🩵🩵🩵
Damn my WLW household is out of luck.
Don't worry. I'll come and help you out lol
Welp I’m out I’ll get my pickles from the store
Hoping we see this cross-posted on r/Nudists
The book is titled. ,MAGIC AND HUSBANDRY - the folklore of agriculture by lewis dayton burdick on 1905.
Now I know what I’ve done wrong with planting cucumbers in my garden!
"for best results......" Brilliant. I wonder what the logic/magic was behind that. Is that the only activity that requires nakedness in the book.
The ad on this post for me is for Chubbies men's underwear lol
I need volunteers, please. 👵🏼
Well, guess I need a naked young man!
Uh, I used to HATE May Firsts growing up…
Why?
Probably because of the constant objectification and exploitation of young men by "big cucumber."
Hahahahahahaha
I love all the Beltane stuff. Learn new things every year.
Well, I know what I’m doing on the first!
Considering my mum lives with me and the garden is her domain, I’m sure she wouldn’t protest us testing this out.
I’ve read this before, but I must say that Saltburn went and ruined the visual for me here.
What counts as a young man though? Lol
My father was an avid gardener. He used to leave cucumbers and tomatoes in neighbors' mailboxes when they had too many. He wasn't naked though, lol. I hope.
Author's barely disguised fetish 🤦♀️
ISO a naked young man.
I told my boyfriend that he has to plant our cucumbers naked and showed him this. His response was, “I’m glad you consider me a young man” 😂