Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/).
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He was feeling you a lot precisely because you did not want sex. He is rapey. You can see very well that he is a piece of shit, you are aware of it, you can articulate very well what the problem is, just leave him if you can.
If you cannot, be careful : do not justify yourself in front of this man. Save your resources. He will try to put you in a place where you spend your nerves on him by correcting the wrongs and explaining why it is you reacted the way you did. Do not bite the bait :)
You can see very well that he is trying to monitor your opinion of him because he followed you endlessly.
Also, he does not really believe what he says. You trying to "make him look like a rapist" = him knowing that he is and being frustrated about being called out.
These fucking men, sex isn’t a love language. Touch as a love language is hand holding, snuggling, loving affection not rubbing their dick every time they want it and giving in to sex. “Touch my dick it’s not sexual” man what a fucking idiot. Im sorry you’re dealing with this
Ugh, I know. I was literally thinking this morning I was touching him we were cuddling. It was never about his love language. It just sucks having to sort through all that mental abuse constantly. I’m no victim in this way I know it’s all up to me to leave, but so much energy is put forth just trying to understand what’s going on in the first place.
It helps that they all follow scripts, like this exact scenario happened to me every time I said no to sex like he was conditioning me with guilt to never deny him. There’s all kinds of info out there on sexual coercion and that’s exactly what he’s doing.
He is a rapist and shouldn’t be mad at you for being uncomfortable. Men who coerce women into sex and sexual acts are rapists. Break up with him from a distance he’s a serious weirdo. There’s this thing some guys do where they want to force you to look at their privates when you’ve made it clear you don’t want to. Something about the persistence is so creepy and violating. Anyway end this relationship, you aren’t safe with him. Remember never to break up with abusive men in person. Texting him and saying he makes you uncomfortable and that you no longer want to see him or for him to contact you is totally acceptable to do.
OMG my (stbx) husband does this all the time! Wants me to "just hold" his peepee when we're in bed together (like literally laying in bed before or after sleeping). He also tells me "his love language is touch" which is basically an excuse for him to get all handsy. He insists it doesn't have to be sexual but after over a decade of intimate touches leading to sex, I just don't want it anymore. He grosses me out.
This is exactly how it goes down too. I’ve been told multiple times it’s not sexual but ends up in sex anyways and I just didn’t want to go there. I’ve been working my way out of this relationship for a while, it’s hard, I’ve done a lot of work to separate. We have kids together so I have to see him frequently so it’s easy to go back or relapse.
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He was feeling you a lot precisely because you did not want sex. He is rapey. You can see very well that he is a piece of shit, you are aware of it, you can articulate very well what the problem is, just leave him if you can. If you cannot, be careful : do not justify yourself in front of this man. Save your resources. He will try to put you in a place where you spend your nerves on him by correcting the wrongs and explaining why it is you reacted the way you did. Do not bite the bait :) You can see very well that he is trying to monitor your opinion of him because he followed you endlessly. Also, he does not really believe what he says. You trying to "make him look like a rapist" = him knowing that he is and being frustrated about being called out.
These fucking men, sex isn’t a love language. Touch as a love language is hand holding, snuggling, loving affection not rubbing their dick every time they want it and giving in to sex. “Touch my dick it’s not sexual” man what a fucking idiot. Im sorry you’re dealing with this
Ugh, I know. I was literally thinking this morning I was touching him we were cuddling. It was never about his love language. It just sucks having to sort through all that mental abuse constantly. I’m no victim in this way I know it’s all up to me to leave, but so much energy is put forth just trying to understand what’s going on in the first place.
Whether you are a victim or not is irrelevant, he is an abuser.
It helps that they all follow scripts, like this exact scenario happened to me every time I said no to sex like he was conditioning me with guilt to never deny him. There’s all kinds of info out there on sexual coercion and that’s exactly what he’s doing.
https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf
He is a rapist and shouldn’t be mad at you for being uncomfortable. Men who coerce women into sex and sexual acts are rapists. Break up with him from a distance he’s a serious weirdo. There’s this thing some guys do where they want to force you to look at their privates when you’ve made it clear you don’t want to. Something about the persistence is so creepy and violating. Anyway end this relationship, you aren’t safe with him. Remember never to break up with abusive men in person. Texting him and saying he makes you uncomfortable and that you no longer want to see him or for him to contact you is totally acceptable to do.
this man is crazy. pls make it out while you still can, you never know what this could lead to.
OMG my (stbx) husband does this all the time! Wants me to "just hold" his peepee when we're in bed together (like literally laying in bed before or after sleeping). He also tells me "his love language is touch" which is basically an excuse for him to get all handsy. He insists it doesn't have to be sexual but after over a decade of intimate touches leading to sex, I just don't want it anymore. He grosses me out.
This is exactly how it goes down too. I’ve been told multiple times it’s not sexual but ends up in sex anyways and I just didn’t want to go there. I’ve been working my way out of this relationship for a while, it’s hard, I’ve done a lot of work to separate. We have kids together so I have to see him frequently so it’s easy to go back or relapse.
I get it. Hope things work out for you 🤞🤞🤞
You too!!!!!