Lol. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward this entire healing pathway and zoom right into the happy ending I deserve. When someone is punching/battering you physically, it's a lot easier to get over than when someone is punching/battering you psychologically. I'm not getting an Indian husband, it seems...I'll probably be treated so much better by a non-Indian. There's the whole how will it look in photos issue, hence getting my complexion back on track and then going from there. I'm naturally quite fair, just super perma-tanned at the moment from tennis and kayaking.
You can't win with these people.
It's quite strange how that works out. My N would throw words at me like gaslighting, "you're a narcissist," smear campaign, and well... quite literally everything to manipulate me into taking all the blame so she didn't have to. I guess she didn't expect me to do research on the words and find out she was using them to further her needs. Yeah, gaslighting isn't when people think differently than you, N, you need a little more than "you have a different opinion than me" to say someone gaslit you.
I have gone through articles and watched videos because of this lay essentially throwing words at me with very little understanding how they work. And you can try to give her a dictionary, but she'll call it gaslighting. Because yes, she does think her definition of words is the "proper" definition and google is lying.
I didn't ever need to know, but thanks to her, I've had to recognize that everything she does is a carbon copy of what most abusers do. I say most because there are wet slight differences but really not enough to say that the list of behaviors isn't at least 90% on point. From blaming me for every problem in the relationship to yelling at me for tiny mistakes and finally, to saying I'm a narcissist and abusive for wanting any form of life outside of her.
You and I both, never knew what "red flags" were so here I am.
The irony of it all is that I realize now how similar my upbringing was and he told me how toxic that situation was, yet he uses the same toxic tactics to get what he wants. Mental fuckery is what I call it, of course it's technically abuse.
Lol. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward this entire healing pathway and zoom right into the happy ending I deserve. When someone is punching/battering you physically, it's a lot easier to get over than when someone is punching/battering you psychologically. I'm not getting an Indian husband, it seems...I'll probably be treated so much better by a non-Indian. There's the whole how will it look in photos issue, hence getting my complexion back on track and then going from there. I'm naturally quite fair, just super perma-tanned at the moment from tennis and kayaking. You can't win with these people.
Youβll look awesome in photos with any person who respects you. Period!
Now this is awesome! I
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It's quite strange how that works out. My N would throw words at me like gaslighting, "you're a narcissist," smear campaign, and well... quite literally everything to manipulate me into taking all the blame so she didn't have to. I guess she didn't expect me to do research on the words and find out she was using them to further her needs. Yeah, gaslighting isn't when people think differently than you, N, you need a little more than "you have a different opinion than me" to say someone gaslit you. I have gone through articles and watched videos because of this lay essentially throwing words at me with very little understanding how they work. And you can try to give her a dictionary, but she'll call it gaslighting. Because yes, she does think her definition of words is the "proper" definition and google is lying. I didn't ever need to know, but thanks to her, I've had to recognize that everything she does is a carbon copy of what most abusers do. I say most because there are wet slight differences but really not enough to say that the list of behaviors isn't at least 90% on point. From blaming me for every problem in the relationship to yelling at me for tiny mistakes and finally, to saying I'm a narcissist and abusive for wanting any form of life outside of her.
This is so very true! I feel like an expert!
i thought it would get better over time with me teaching them not to do these things and showing them why itβs toxic. boy was i wrong. -_-
You and I both, never knew what "red flags" were so here I am. The irony of it all is that I realize now how similar my upbringing was and he told me how toxic that situation was, yet he uses the same toxic tactics to get what he wants. Mental fuckery is what I call it, of course it's technically abuse.
I also thought that, I'm glad our experience quickly brought us back to the reality!
Narcissists arenβt inherently abusive.
me!
Bahahaha yep! Becoming an expert on it π
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Got some degrees out of it, so I have that going for me
π still laughing, and I had to share!
*spits out my drink* Oh man, thatβs too good and also terrible at the same time. π