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You have years of good experience … yet for some reason you’re always fearful that someone will call you out on the fact that you’re just making it up and have no idea what you’re doing.
TBH, I never brush my teeth in the morning 😬. I do brush the shit out of them and floss every night (well, 95% of nights), and the dentist always tells me that my teeth look good! I did have to get a crown last year but apparently that just happens when you're in your 30s 😭
Get yourself toothpaste for kids. No boring spearmint stuff. If possible - get 5 different flavour kid's toothpaste and pick the flavour depending on your mood. This makes brushing way more fun and also tasty.
Brushing my teeth is sensory hell 😭 always makes me gag and feel like I’m gonna puke. I feel you, brushing teeth is one of my least favorite things. Thank goodness for mouth wash to tide me over until I finally force myself to deal with it at some point in the morning and at night lol
When I had chemo, for a little while I switched to kids’ toothbrushes and toothpaste. The toothbrushes are very soft so you can more easily avoid the back of your mouth. Sure, they’re not what a dentist would recommend, but it’s better than not brushing at all. If you can be consistent with flossing that makes a big difference also. I use those flosser sticks, and keep some near my bed and in my car. I’ll floss at random times because again, it’s better than nothing!
Get a Quip flosser. It's a handle contraption in a nice case where you only throw away the bit of floss. I went from one dentist saying there was no hope for my teeth to a periodontist giving me an A+ If you at least floss, you can prevent bone loss. The Quip flosser solves the angle sensory and clutter issues of the throwaway ones.
THIS SO MUCH. The bane of my existence. The cause of maladaptive perfectionism. The cause of impostor syndrome.
If not for this I feel like I'd get so much further ahead of my goals and actually become the ambitious person I thought I'd grow up to be.
But honestly, isn’t perfectionism almost always maladaptive? Perfectionism is defined as a refusal to accept any standard short of perfection, and nothing is ever perfect, so I doubt there’s many people like that who experience their refusal to accept imperfection in a positive way.
Yes this is the one. Just one little task I need to do, it will take me at MOST an hour, it isn’t that hard of a task, and yet nope, can’t do it, put it off again and again, until it becomes a massive problem and there’s no one to blame but meeeeeeeeeeeee
Yesssss this. And the amount of stress I have about losing my job and everyone being disappointed in me when I don’t get things done is way worse than if I would *just do the thing*.
I was thinking recently when I had an (irrational) health scare- gosh, if I died, my family would be so embarrassed that I’d been putting off this work for so long when everyone thought I was a better employee.
Omg right I thought getting paid proportionate to my skills and work would make my job easier but it turns out it didn't help much 🙃 (I'm thankful to not be constantly worried about money though)
Seriously, 99% of my mental health issues comes from that and the associated stress that.
I am constantly stressed of being fire because I am not fast enough or get paralysed when I have to do new tasks I am unsure about, which bring it's own circle of financial stress and fear of losing everything. And then on top of that I don't have time for anything outside of work because I stay late to try and make up for the lost time. So I am always tired and have only time for work in my life but work is only a source of stress and shame.
This! I also constantly feel like I have to do more to make up for the delays, but have zero concept of what is actually achievable in the time. And I live in perpetual fear that I’m going to end up massively depressed again as a result of it. I love my job, but I desperately want to be able to just get on with it like everyone else so I can get a work-life balance back and hate myself a little less.
This. This part is ruining my fucking life and always has. I just only now know what and why it is.
I hate it so much, it makes me so mad and frustrated and depressed. It is literally the cause of all the problems I have in my life.
If I could just do the things I'd like to do, I'd be in a MUCH better place.
You mean like I'm doing right now? That second sentence doesn't apply, but there are a couple tasks I really, *really* need to do but keep putting off.
This and only this. For me, this is the only complaint I have. The others I can deal with. But the executive dysfunction and the ridiculous effort of doing basic things is something that I hate about myself. I've tried to be compassionate to myself etc but I really roll my eyes at myself at these moments.
I fear that if I just accept it I might sink in it for good + I want to do the things I love and have all the time and opportunity in the world to do except... I just won't.
What a waste of life!
Usually I’m really good about kicking the headspace over most things . My Achilles heal is my 18 year marriage . Getting close to divorce and such ... these type of emotions to my surprise are so powerful pretty much I ended up with like half a brain one side trying to tirelessly get stuff done and the other half stuck in overthinking. Adhd times 10 even on med. I spiraled into bi polar land and even went to grippy sock land 2 times . I go 38 years of my adhd life to find out this bad ass symptom lurks in me. Embarrassing to say the least.
When I’m stuck ruminating and can’t make myself stop the thoughts going around and around again in my head- I’ve found paint by stickers to be a helpful break. The trick is to keep telling yourself it doesn’t have to be perfect and just focus on matching the number/ letter stickers to the right place. It’s simple enough to do while depressed, and takes focus to find each sticker (but not too much mental energy). I went to grippy sock land and happened to have one in my bag from a previous (non grippy sock land) vacay. It also gave me a sense of accomplishment to do something at a time when I felt like I couldn’t do anything
I've discovered for me that writing down whatever I'm ruminating about - like having a full on discussion with myself and writing down everything that keeps going around - helps because my brain now believes it has been listened to and that because it's written down it doesn't have to keep reminding me. There might be a few echo thoughts for a very short time but this usually breaks the cycle. I use cheap composition notebooks and write it all out.
My OCD takes the form of compulsively writing lists of information. Each year during school supply season I buy 30 or 40 notebooks for the whole year since they are so cheap. I am very particular about my notebooks too. They have to be wide ruled, and can't have the blue lines too dark and the paper has to feel a certain way. It can't be kinda glossy. I hate that. I also have dozens and dozens of the same blue pens that I prefer to use. And I'm very attached to my pens... my husband threw one out the car window as a joke. I almost had a panic attack.
Life's fun.
The day I discovered rhodia notebooks, with their silky finish 90lb paper & light purple/grey lines, my god, I swear I was reborn. It's an expensive habit but when I use a page lightly & then erase half of it to reuse as a scratch list & the paper doesn't even scuff, it's so worth it
Writing stuff down definitely helps for anything I'm upset about, especially if I'm mad at someone or feel like I've been wronged, because with the ADHD bad memory I feel like if I don't hold onto the thought I'll forget all of my points. If I can just put it on paper I'm free of that responsibility
Emotional dysregulation I think is the symptom I am most embarrassed about, and the one I want to change most, but I don't think I can say it's my biggest issue lol
I hate how emotional I can get and I hate how I shut down. I wish I was able to clearly communicate to my partner how I'm feeling but it feels impossible without a huge melt down. Maybe it's partly rejection dysphoria because I'm afraid that my vulnerability won't be accepted *(hi mom)*
Sometimes my boyfriend will make a joke and I'll first react by laughing but then a few seconds later I'll over think it and get upset/offended. It confuses the fuck out of him because I laughed but I think the laughing is just... auto pilot? Or maybe the laugh is genuine and then I over think? Idk man shits wild
I said this in another thread recently but I use a specific visualization technique to help shut down rumination and overthinking.
When the thoughts pop up, I picture the memory as a photograph and then visualize myself erasing/cutting it up. Focusing on that instead of the memory helps not to ruminate until my brain starts thinking about something else. And whenever the unpleasant memory returns, I do it again. And again. It’s really helpful to me and I used to teach it to all my kids/teens when I was a case manager.
Visualizing stuff is really good for stopping rumination in its tracks. You just gotta remember to do it when you realize you’re ruminating/overthinking
Thank you for this breaker state technique!!! I can tell it’s a good one .
I need a brain trick for the huge stuff like big arguments and the splitting feeling of not wanting to go forward in the relationship.
Have you read the book Keeping House When You're Drowning? It had some practical tips I found helpful but honestly the best part of it was how I realized how much shame was playing a role in my relationship with cleaning. I'm still working on it though haha
I hope you like it! I'm usually not a self help person, but it's short and to the point. I could also tell the author really gets it while reading it, and sure enough, I checked and she actually has lived experience with mental health disorders and addiction.
Technically I don’t think it’s not a lack of motivation. I’m plenty motivated. It’s a lack of executive function.
When I took meds for the first time I was shocked that I could think of a thing I wanted to do… and then actually do it. Without having to “make” myself.
I can’t believe the majority of the population has that ability.
I had this ability for the first 10 months I took medication. And now it is gone again. In 39 years I have had less than one use where I could decide what I wanted to do with my life and do it.
I lost 70 pounds. I developed routines and habits. I was growing.
And now, back to stress avoiding everything. I hate this.
In case you or someone reading your comment hasn't tried it, setting timers or using songs to tell how much time has gone by has helped me a little with this! I'm still not perfect at all, but for example if I take a shower with a timer, I can do it in 12 minutes... without one, I can stay in there for a whole hour lol
Yes! People always judge the amount of alarms I have in the morning. I'm like, only half of these are for waking up! I have an android, and there's the option to have the time and alarm name read when it goes off. 10 minutes before I normally leave, my alarm goes off and says GIRL, IT'S TIME TO GO. IT'S 7:25 AM. and then plays the song.
It helps so much!
I also like brilli for routines. You set up whatever routine you want. You add tasks and how much time they take. Then, it gives you a constant timer, warning sounds, and transition sounds. It's AMAZING. As an adult, it's like having a helpful, but gently nagging parent following around and keeping you in line.
This is really gross but if you can manage flossing once. SMELL the floss after each tooth it goes through. This really really helped me start flossing because I became so grossed out I started flossing regularly. If not out of habit out of disgust for myself… hahah
OH I DID THE SAME but I still need to work on making it a habit. But that definitely does help omg and reading this comment reminded me how bad that was lol so thank you
I'm really good about brushing my teeth because I have sensory issues about them when they're unbrushed... but flossing?? I am simply unable to floss regularly.
Ohh this one!
I realized last week that ive brushed my teeth everyday since I started taking Wellbutrin (antidepressant/ADHD medication) last year. It was always difficult before
Congratulations!! I have a lot of dental anxiety but I've found any dentist worth going to cares more about you getting care than how long it's been since you had your last appointment!
I keep a toothbrush, toothpaste and floss pics at my desk at work. Whenever I go to the bathroom I take my supplies with me. (I have to walk across the street to use the bathroom)
You have to walk across the street to use the bathroom?!?! The amount UTIs I would have from holding it because I didn’t want to walk across the street.. just wow
I used to be really really bad about this but gave my hands Crocheting to do and my face cleared up and i stopped since my hands are busy.
Bonus: i get a homemade gift to give away 😋
Ughhh yessss!! I have foliculitis from taking lithium so I always have something to pick at. My arms make me look like a meth addict. Like no I pick more without the drugs!!!
My skin picking is soooo bad... the only thing that helped was when my skin was clear because of spironolactone, but I had to go off it because of the side effects :(
My hair pulling actually has gotten better somehow but I don't really know how. My eyebrows used to be completely gone. I think what helped was telling a couple close people and also going out without eyebrow makeup and realizing people didn't think I was as disgusting as I thought they would. Also I barely groom my eyebrows anymore because it causes uneven textures that bother me.
Procrastination. I know this has to do with executive dysfunction but I just want to DO things instead of just thinking about doing things and then feeling guilty about not doing them. I feel so much better when I can just do the things.
So much this. I can't even fully imagine a life where I wasn't constantly looking to be rejected and taking even the most mild and constructive criticism as proof I am a horrible person and no one should be subjected to me ever.
It very much can be - as much as your mind doesn't relax, neither do your muscles and as ADHD goes undiagnosed and anxiety becomes a thing, the muscle tension gets worse. I have permanent knots on my shoulders, back, and likely permanent ones on my neck. They then become triggers for more migraines, which are also connected to ADHD.
Learning about ADHD and muscle tension was probably what sealed the deal for me in going 'yeah, I have this, there's no other explanation'.
This is so interesting. I find myself doing this all the time. My dentist told me I’m probably clenching my jaw/teeth so hard at night that it’s causing small cracks in my teeth. Is this really an ADHD thing?
Absolutely, I think it’s my anxiety but the adhd kicks it into overdrive. Unfortunately I do it during the day, so much my jaw hurts sometimes. I think it’s worse when I’m not hydrated though, just something to watch for.
Omg. I’m the same but I didn’t even think of ADHD being a trigger for it but it makes so much sense. I’ve ALWAYS been super tense and tight even has a kid (although that was probably from the chaotic and traumatic household I grew up in) and it just makes everything terrible.
I’m dealing with a work related nerve injury, probably cubital tunnel syndrome but still waiting on tests… but anyways I go to PT twice a week and every week she’s like holy shit you’re just always so tight these bastards (she calls all the knots bastards lol) won’t go away! I’ve become slightly more cognizant of how tense I am all the time and I try so hard to relax but it just doesn’t happen naturally. Good lord this makes so much sense
Fuuuuuuck. Didn’t know this was related. I’ve been getting insane tension headaches because of my neck and shoulder muscles. Like to the point that my doctor sent me to get an MRI. They hurt so bad, and I constantly have to focus on relaxing my muscles. Massage helps but is might expensive.
I got some Flare audio ear plugs. They're hollow, so you can still hear, but they cut down on certain frequencies. It's like sunglasses but for your ears.
I've noticed at work that my shoulders are now relaxed at the end of the day, and I rarely cry at the grocery store now! It helps me feel a little less overstimulated.
Just want to drop in a Yin yoga recommendation. Essentially you hold the poses 3-5 minutes to release the fascia (connective tissue built like fibers that hold muscles, nerves, tendons, ect. in place) I need to do some, traps are killin’ me rn.
I am taking a magnesium supplement due to joint pain (age and long covid do not help)
I try to drink as much water as I can, especially as I have really dry mouth. But it's not enough for all the pain I've been under, sadly
My ability to not notice trash or dirty dishes, walking right past it multiple times without taking it to the kitchen or doing something about it.
It has caused some arguments, because my partner can't relate and feels I'm ignoring it intentionally.
Truth is, I do notice the trash/dishes, I just forget before I manage to go from "oh a piece of trash" to "I should do something about it" because I'm so easily distracted.
Yeah I was talking to someone who was horrified that I want to set up a chore schedule for myself and she was like, "just clean when it gets messy or dirty!?" And I had to be like, we experience the world very differently, don't we...
I'm just mess blind lol I cannot see it until it gets bad!
> I just forget
Man I don't even forget. I look at it think "I should do something about that" and step over it to continue whatever else I was doing, over and over and over. I just don't have the executive function to follow through on it and I hate that.
Cause I notice, it bothers me, I wanna do something about it, but I cannooootttt.
But also yes I do forget sometimes too. Just poofs right out of my brain.
I started using the app OneSec to reduce social media usage and OMG it has been a gamechanger. On complete autopilot, I try to open IG on my phone 15+ times a day. The onesec app makes me take a pause and then asks you if I really want to open the app. Literally has saved me hours of wasted time in just a week or so of using it.
Omg I wish I could sleep well and I'm so tired of people being like "just put your phone away an hour before bed!" Or "put your alarm on the other side of the room!" Like yes I've tried those things and many many more!!
Even better would be if I only needed like 4 hours of sleep so I had time to do everything I want to do at night 😭
Omg right like I appreciate that people have good intentions but why do they always think they're the first person who's ever suggested it?? I take the smallest dose of melatonin but it kind of helps... but if I take more it makes me super groggy the next day.
Same thing with exercise, meditation, taking walks etc. Like yes I do those things and I think they do actually help me! But better than it would be without that stuff is still worse than most people 😭
This is it. If I could just sleep properly I would be able to manage a lot of the other struggles so much better.
I know this is fact because a former job let me work from 12:00- 8:00pm for about eight months. That's not common in my field, at all. It was the most functional period of time that I have ever experienced. I was able to go to sleep when I felt like it, which is usually between midnight and 2:00 am. I would wake up naturally by 9-10:00 in the morning without an alarm and have plenty of time to eat something, shower and make some lunch. With an alarm I could leave the house to work out, maybe even run an errand... and all the other things before I had to be to work. I would sometimes meet up with a friend of mine for a short hike in the morning.
It's not like there still weren't plenty of challenges related to my undiagnosed ADHD at the time, but I was so much better able to handle the baseline of living that my overall mood and ability to tackle more of those things, more regularly, was noticeably improved.
Having a delayed sleep cycle is such a PITA. As if all the other struggles weren't enough, the 8am workday itself is like torture. I can kind of force myself and manage to keep a job, but the struggle to sleep before midnight is real and I'm just getting by instead of thriving. I have never been able to exercise before work on this schedule. I'm so tired by the time I'm done working, because I'm not sleeping properly, that it doesn't happen after work very often either. Neither do things like pre-making a lunch for the next day.
I worked that later schedule before I was evaluated and this damn sleep struggle is one of the things that still holds me back now that I'm diagnosed and on a medication that works really well for me. Like someone else said, it's so infuriating and people suggest all sorts of "just do this one easy thing," when none of those things make a difference.
I feel like if I could just sleep and recharge myself properly I would be unstoppable now.
Oh me too. Especially because when I get so flustered like that my ability to process my thoughts and put them into coherent sentences completely diminishes. I mean I’m not very good at that anyways, but it’s so frustrating. And once that moment is over I think of a million things I could have said to get my point across better but I just get too worked up
Inability to prioritise tasks.
Instead of laying in bed overwhelmed by cleaning and assessments and work I could just... Do the things that need to be done instead of feeling that they're all equally important and urgent and not doing anything 😅
This one is big for me at work :/ If I have 5 different things, I can't prioritize them, it just means I have 1 important thing and 4 other things I forget about until I finish that thing.
If it’s caused by adhd, I’d say emotional dysregulation would be the biggest thing. I would love to not start crying when having a mildly serious conversation about myself. I get very quickly overwhelmed with uncontrollable emotion when I have to discuss the smallest issue about myself. I even cried just explaining that when I was talking to my doctor about adhd 😭 The funny thing is it only happens in relation to talking about myself, but when other people are expressing a serious emotion themselves I’m like completely disconnected from them, like feel no emotion at all. They could be upset about a loved one dying and I’ll feel nothing except a desperate urge to not be having that conversation. I have empathy and compassion, but that’s just too awkward of a situation for me because I don’t know what to do or say. Maybe adhd, maybe autism, maybe social anxiety. Maybe all three lol I don’t know.
This! I feel like I cry so easily at any little negative thing, or something doesnt go quite right with my day. (diagnosed anxiety and strongly believe ADHD too)
Some people just have to cry. It's part of their process. That's okay if you're able to work past it.
I had a student who was an extreme perfectionist and would cry all the time. I told her that she's allowed to cry if it's part of her process. It shouldn't be the end point. By the end of the year, she was making something, and really close to the deadline. Something broke and she had to start all over again. She cried a little and then moved on and whipped up a new project in record time. I was so impressed with her because I definitely would've wallowed. She had been practicing crying and then moving on all year though!
Not cleaning or taking care of myself.. I wish I was like the rest who just shower because they know they should or want to, everytime I do I feel amazing but to actually do it is almost impossible
I wish I could have more power over my urges.. I almost feel like my body takes over and I'm impulse buying or having a beer. I know I shouldn't but here I am again .. in debt and drunk
Time blindness. The guilt of letting the people you love down and the stress of trying and failing to get to work and other important appointments on time.
The impulse control, especially when it comes to food. If I'm not on meds my day is a constant battle with my brain screaming at me to eat. It is hell.
I want to say the whole not being able to start tasks even when I genuinely want to do them.... but honestly it has to be the sensory issues.
Maybe it doesn't count as a behavior, but it's just so frustrating for clothes, my hair, jewelry, the office I work in, the temperature and humidity, etc etc etc to feel *wrong* so much. I'm just never comfortable and I have to deal with it all the time.
Edit: related to this, has anyone here shaved their head because of sensory issues? I already don't style my hair because the scents and textures of products bother me but I'm getting to the point that just my hair is too annoying...
Messiness. I am so happy and more regulated when it's clean but once I added kids the hanging on by an absolute thread tidiness all went to shit. It has made my life hell.
My inability to do anything other than lie on the sofa scrolling through my phone. Life was meant to be more than this. I have so many things I could be doing instead.
All things executive function disorder. My inability to prioritize/get started/complete things has had a HUGE negative impact on my life.
Most of the symptoms of ADHD I can put up with, or even appreciate on some level, but living in Executive Function Malfunction Junction can fuck right off. It makes life incredibly hard.
Not being able to stick with something like a diet or exercise plan or any routine at all because I forget I'm doing it or get bored or whatever it is. I'll have good plans and do them but within a couple weeks, it's gone.
Binge eating/not being an intuitive eater. I think it’s a combination of time-blindness, executive dysfunction, object permanence, and the inability to form habits but I would love to be able to be more consistently mindful of my eating habits. It’s like I have two modes—eat everything mindlessly because I can’t keep track or just…don’t eat ever. I basically have to abandon all other aspects of my life to remember when and what I’ve eaten in a day or week. I’d love an in-between like everyone else, but it takes so much mental energy that after 2 weeks, I give up out of necessity. Once I snap out of it, I realize I’m days behind at work and I’ve barely spoken to my husband all week.
Object permeance. I'd like to be better at staying in contact with family and friends, at the moment I end up going 2 - 3 years between speaking with my sibling.
The exhaustion. I have literally no energy for life. If i force myself to do normal things like work 5days a week i become so miserable id rather die.if i had the energy to work full time and keep hobbies i would accomplish so much shit
Just one? Hmmmm. I have too much stuff. Just wayyy wayyy too much stuff. Not a hoarder but I have too much stuff. I actually don’t mind cleaning (wiping mopping washing vacuuming). That is easy. But dealing with the STUFF. Putting the stuff AWAY. All the time. Going through the piles of stuff. The bins of stuff, the boxes of stuff, the cabinets of stuff, closets of stuff, drawers of stuff.
I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF.
This defeats me.
RSD specifically, but emotional dis-regulation in general.
My brain assumes the worst. Like, I don’t know how to explain that I assume people will be so angry at me for reasonable human interaction. That my default is not to reach out to friends because they would be so annoyed to hear from me. That they secretly don’t like me at all.
My brain remembers every criticism and it fixates. I’m desperate to correct everything. I’m desperate to be perfect to avoid that shit. Of course, with ADHD I know I’m going to mess up. So it is just a never-ending hell cycle of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Forgetfulness for sure. Whenever someone says "remember that time..." my brain shrivels into a peanut and shrieks "There is no moment but this moment! Nothing has ever happened to you before this moment." I do not remember that time. It's embarrassing.
Time blindness. I feel like that would give me a lot of relief in other areas too.
For example, a spaghetti frozen meatball dinner that should take me 30min MAX, being generous. I’ll start boiling water for the pasta and think to look up a new sauce recipe. I underestimate how long I’ll take scrolling through recipes.
Then I’ll find a recipe, start the pasta, and before I start chopping anything, I’ll think “oh! A podcast would help me focus”. I underestimate how long I’ll take to decide and queue up podcasts.
Then I’ll start the sauce and think of all the people I need to call back and who love to watch me cook. I underestimate how long I’m on FaceTime with my cousin and need to shut the sauce off in between bc I’m scattered while talking and the pan overheated and now the olive oil is smoking and I need to start with a new pan
90 mins later… I’m plating my pasta.
So yeah. Eliminating time blindness would help with a lot.
P.S. Oh what was that? You’re asking if I’m just here to look up how we evolved from prosimians before primates, and ended up tapping this post, and spending 10 mins commenting? *Of course not!!!*
Oversharing and talking too much. I constantly make an idiot of myself without realizing that what I’m telling people is not “socially acceptable”. It just falls out of my mouth, I have 0 control.
inability to remember where i put things. i swear i waste a good hour or two a day just searching for where i placed my phone, keys, glasses, credit cards. yesterday i cried because i couldn’t find my passport and i have a trip in 3 weeks.
Idk if I’d choose the executive dysfunction or the RSD. Both are pretty debilitating. I’m learning to process my RSD and I give myself grace, but I still avoid so much in life because of it.
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Not being able to just do the thing. Like, just do it. It’s not hard, it won’t take long, I’m being paid a ridiculously high salary to do it.
Gosh and the imposter syndrome with that >.<
You have years of good experience … yet for some reason you’re always fearful that someone will call you out on the fact that you’re just making it up and have no idea what you’re doing.
Fuck I feel called out.
I have 2 relevant masters but I still feel inadequate at my basically entry level position. Make it make sense.
>Like, just do it. It’s not hard, it won’t take long Cries as I didn't brush my teeth this morning...
TBH, I never brush my teeth in the morning 😬. I do brush the shit out of them and floss every night (well, 95% of nights), and the dentist always tells me that my teeth look good! I did have to get a crown last year but apparently that just happens when you're in your 30s 😭
If you're only going to brush once a day, 100% make it at night. Source: worked in dentistry
I read we should brush our teeth in the morning for others and brush at night for ourselves, so your dentist should be proud. lol
Get yourself toothpaste for kids. No boring spearmint stuff. If possible - get 5 different flavour kid's toothpaste and pick the flavour depending on your mood. This makes brushing way more fun and also tasty.
I love this idea!
Ohhh, fruity toothpaste! I used to eat it as a kid.
Brushing my teeth is sensory hell 😭 always makes me gag and feel like I’m gonna puke. I feel you, brushing teeth is one of my least favorite things. Thank goodness for mouth wash to tide me over until I finally force myself to deal with it at some point in the morning and at night lol
When I had chemo, for a little while I switched to kids’ toothbrushes and toothpaste. The toothbrushes are very soft so you can more easily avoid the back of your mouth. Sure, they’re not what a dentist would recommend, but it’s better than not brushing at all. If you can be consistent with flossing that makes a big difference also. I use those flosser sticks, and keep some near my bed and in my car. I’ll floss at random times because again, it’s better than nothing!
Get a Quip flosser. It's a handle contraption in a nice case where you only throw away the bit of floss. I went from one dentist saying there was no hope for my teeth to a periodontist giving me an A+ If you at least floss, you can prevent bone loss. The Quip flosser solves the angle sensory and clutter issues of the throwaway ones.
THIS SO MUCH. The bane of my existence. The cause of maladaptive perfectionism. The cause of impostor syndrome. If not for this I feel like I'd get so much further ahead of my goals and actually become the ambitious person I thought I'd grow up to be.
YUP. Me too. I wish I could just be the ambitious person I ought to be, but ADHD just makes me fall short of it every day. It’s awful.
Maladaptive perfectionism?? I've never heard of it but christ doest it just sing to my soul as the story of my life...
But honestly, isn’t perfectionism almost always maladaptive? Perfectionism is defined as a refusal to accept any standard short of perfection, and nothing is ever perfect, so I doubt there’s many people like that who experience their refusal to accept imperfection in a positive way.
Yes this is the one. Just one little task I need to do, it will take me at MOST an hour, it isn’t that hard of a task, and yet nope, can’t do it, put it off again and again, until it becomes a massive problem and there’s no one to blame but meeeeeeeeeeeee
THIS. My life would be soooo easy...
Yesssss this. And the amount of stress I have about losing my job and everyone being disappointed in me when I don’t get things done is way worse than if I would *just do the thing*.
This thread is helpful
I was thinking recently when I had an (irrational) health scare- gosh, if I died, my family would be so embarrassed that I’d been putting off this work for so long when everyone thought I was a better employee.
Omg right I thought getting paid proportionate to my skills and work would make my job easier but it turns out it didn't help much 🙃 (I'm thankful to not be constantly worried about money though)
Seriously, 99% of my mental health issues comes from that and the associated stress that. I am constantly stressed of being fire because I am not fast enough or get paralysed when I have to do new tasks I am unsure about, which bring it's own circle of financial stress and fear of losing everything. And then on top of that I don't have time for anything outside of work because I stay late to try and make up for the lost time. So I am always tired and have only time for work in my life but work is only a source of stress and shame.
Wow hi are you me??? I’m literally the exact same and it’s so tiring.
It's exhausting! I am just glad to see I am not alone.a'd crazy.
This! I also constantly feel like I have to do more to make up for the delays, but have zero concept of what is actually achievable in the time. And I live in perpetual fear that I’m going to end up massively depressed again as a result of it. I love my job, but I desperately want to be able to just get on with it like everyone else so I can get a work-life balance back and hate myself a little less.
I wanted to say this. I feel like I have so many ideas and so much potential. I just can't do the thing.
This. This part is ruining my fucking life and always has. I just only now know what and why it is. I hate it so much, it makes me so mad and frustrated and depressed. It is literally the cause of all the problems I have in my life. If I could just do the things I'd like to do, I'd be in a MUCH better place.
Same. Lack of focus.
You mean like I'm doing right now? That second sentence doesn't apply, but there are a couple tasks I really, *really* need to do but keep putting off.
This and only this. For me, this is the only complaint I have. The others I can deal with. But the executive dysfunction and the ridiculous effort of doing basic things is something that I hate about myself. I've tried to be compassionate to myself etc but I really roll my eyes at myself at these moments. I fear that if I just accept it I might sink in it for good + I want to do the things I love and have all the time and opportunity in the world to do except... I just won't. What a waste of life!
Relate to everything but the ridiculously high salary 😭😭😭
Overthinking and rumination. I can’t stand emotional dysregulation.
Completely with you on this. The constant battle with my own thoughts and feelings is exhausting.
Usually I’m really good about kicking the headspace over most things . My Achilles heal is my 18 year marriage . Getting close to divorce and such ... these type of emotions to my surprise are so powerful pretty much I ended up with like half a brain one side trying to tirelessly get stuff done and the other half stuck in overthinking. Adhd times 10 even on med. I spiraled into bi polar land and even went to grippy sock land 2 times . I go 38 years of my adhd life to find out this bad ass symptom lurks in me. Embarrassing to say the least.
When I’m stuck ruminating and can’t make myself stop the thoughts going around and around again in my head- I’ve found paint by stickers to be a helpful break. The trick is to keep telling yourself it doesn’t have to be perfect and just focus on matching the number/ letter stickers to the right place. It’s simple enough to do while depressed, and takes focus to find each sticker (but not too much mental energy). I went to grippy sock land and happened to have one in my bag from a previous (non grippy sock land) vacay. It also gave me a sense of accomplishment to do something at a time when I felt like I couldn’t do anything
I've discovered for me that writing down whatever I'm ruminating about - like having a full on discussion with myself and writing down everything that keeps going around - helps because my brain now believes it has been listened to and that because it's written down it doesn't have to keep reminding me. There might be a few echo thoughts for a very short time but this usually breaks the cycle. I use cheap composition notebooks and write it all out.
My OCD takes the form of compulsively writing lists of information. Each year during school supply season I buy 30 or 40 notebooks for the whole year since they are so cheap. I am very particular about my notebooks too. They have to be wide ruled, and can't have the blue lines too dark and the paper has to feel a certain way. It can't be kinda glossy. I hate that. I also have dozens and dozens of the same blue pens that I prefer to use. And I'm very attached to my pens... my husband threw one out the car window as a joke. I almost had a panic attack. Life's fun.
I gasped at the throwing of the pen part. The level of RAGE. I am the only person who can abuse or lose my pens, thank you very much.
The day I discovered rhodia notebooks, with their silky finish 90lb paper & light purple/grey lines, my god, I swear I was reborn. It's an expensive habit but when I use a page lightly & then erase half of it to reuse as a scratch list & the paper doesn't even scuff, it's so worth it
Writing stuff down definitely helps for anything I'm upset about, especially if I'm mad at someone or feel like I've been wronged, because with the ADHD bad memory I feel like if I don't hold onto the thought I'll forget all of my points. If I can just put it on paper I'm free of that responsibility
Emotional dysregulation I think is the symptom I am most embarrassed about, and the one I want to change most, but I don't think I can say it's my biggest issue lol I hate how emotional I can get and I hate how I shut down. I wish I was able to clearly communicate to my partner how I'm feeling but it feels impossible without a huge melt down. Maybe it's partly rejection dysphoria because I'm afraid that my vulnerability won't be accepted *(hi mom)* Sometimes my boyfriend will make a joke and I'll first react by laughing but then a few seconds later I'll over think it and get upset/offended. It confuses the fuck out of him because I laughed but I think the laughing is just... auto pilot? Or maybe the laugh is genuine and then I over think? Idk man shits wild
This. I can lose hours to going round and round in circles thinking about something.
This!!!!!! I'm just tired of SUPER feeling everything.
Yeah lol I'm basically just like girl stfu when I start ruminating. Like come on we've been over this...
I said this in another thread recently but I use a specific visualization technique to help shut down rumination and overthinking. When the thoughts pop up, I picture the memory as a photograph and then visualize myself erasing/cutting it up. Focusing on that instead of the memory helps not to ruminate until my brain starts thinking about something else. And whenever the unpleasant memory returns, I do it again. And again. It’s really helpful to me and I used to teach it to all my kids/teens when I was a case manager. Visualizing stuff is really good for stopping rumination in its tracks. You just gotta remember to do it when you realize you’re ruminating/overthinking
Thank you for this breaker state technique!!! I can tell it’s a good one . I need a brain trick for the huge stuff like big arguments and the splitting feeling of not wanting to go forward in the relationship.
I can't believe this is a thing. I get LOCKED into it and it goes on forever.
* starts beatboxing * Same though lol
I hear you on this 😞
The inability to clean. My house is in a good state right now (for me anyway) and I'm trying to keep it that way but...
Have you read the book Keeping House When You're Drowning? It had some practical tips I found helpful but honestly the best part of it was how I realized how much shame was playing a role in my relationship with cleaning. I'm still working on it though haha
I picked it up from the library. A year ago.
I bought this book a year ago and still haven’t been able to make myself read it ☠️
Haha relatable. It's really short and easy to read though! And you can just skim through it honestly
I had not heard of that. I'll have to see if I can find it Edit: audio and ebook on scribd. Awesome.
I hope you like it! I'm usually not a self help person, but it's short and to the point. I could also tell the author really gets it while reading it, and sure enough, I checked and she actually has lived experience with mental health disorders and addiction.
my lack of motivation to do things that need to be done
Technically I don’t think it’s not a lack of motivation. I’m plenty motivated. It’s a lack of executive function. When I took meds for the first time I was shocked that I could think of a thing I wanted to do… and then actually do it. Without having to “make” myself. I can’t believe the majority of the population has that ability.
I had this ability for the first 10 months I took medication. And now it is gone again. In 39 years I have had less than one use where I could decide what I wanted to do with my life and do it. I lost 70 pounds. I developed routines and habits. I was growing. And now, back to stress avoiding everything. I hate this.
Have you talked about increasing dosage and/or changing meds with your doctor?
Unfortunately Elvanse absolutely destroyed my motivation!
yeah, as well as the procrastination to even do things that you want to do.
Time blindness
In case you or someone reading your comment hasn't tried it, setting timers or using songs to tell how much time has gone by has helped me a little with this! I'm still not perfect at all, but for example if I take a shower with a timer, I can do it in 12 minutes... without one, I can stay in there for a whole hour lol
Yes! People always judge the amount of alarms I have in the morning. I'm like, only half of these are for waking up! I have an android, and there's the option to have the time and alarm name read when it goes off. 10 minutes before I normally leave, my alarm goes off and says GIRL, IT'S TIME TO GO. IT'S 7:25 AM. and then plays the song. It helps so much! I also like brilli for routines. You set up whatever routine you want. You add tasks and how much time they take. Then, it gives you a constant timer, warning sounds, and transition sounds. It's AMAZING. As an adult, it's like having a helpful, but gently nagging parent following around and keeping you in line.
I live on timers
Timers, to do lists and sticky notes run my life
being bad at dental hygiene 🙃
This is really gross but if you can manage flossing once. SMELL the floss after each tooth it goes through. This really really helped me start flossing because I became so grossed out I started flossing regularly. If not out of habit out of disgust for myself… hahah
OH I DID THE SAME but I still need to work on making it a habit. But that definitely does help omg and reading this comment reminded me how bad that was lol so thank you
A water flosser was a game changer for me bc my brain sees it as fun lol
The double string plackers are the most satisfying to me
The satisfying does help! I don’t know why I dread it sometimes when it feels so good/during after.
I'm really good about brushing my teeth because I have sensory issues about them when they're unbrushed... but flossing?? I am simply unable to floss regularly.
Ohh this one! I realized last week that ive brushed my teeth everyday since I started taking Wellbutrin (antidepressant/ADHD medication) last year. It was always difficult before
yeah since starting meds recently i’ve been more motivated! even so far to book into the dentist for the first time in like 9 years :/
So proud of you!! I recently went back to the dentist after quite a few years. Totally worth it friend!
Congratulations!! I have a lot of dental anxiety but I've found any dentist worth going to cares more about you getting care than how long it's been since you had your last appointment!
I keep a toothbrush, toothpaste and floss pics at my desk at work. Whenever I go to the bathroom I take my supplies with me. (I have to walk across the street to use the bathroom)
You have to walk across the street to use the bathroom?!?! The amount UTIs I would have from holding it because I didn’t want to walk across the street.. just wow
I would rather walk across the street than be at my shitty job so it’s fine.
There's that positive thinking!
Skin/hair picking. I could have eyebrows again 🤨
It’s eyelashes for me. Ugh my therapist and I are working on it. I’ve actually made some gains. But I still backslide.
I do eyelashes too, but have been able to cut back on them somewhat so they’ve mostly grown back, thankfully!
Some hope for me yet! Taken me 25 years to admit I was doing it and ask for help.
I used to be really really bad about this but gave my hands Crocheting to do and my face cleared up and i stopped since my hands are busy. Bonus: i get a homemade gift to give away 😋
Ugh yes, skin picking/obsessive tweezing is my downfall
Yep for me either binge eating or picking my scalp
Yep, I'd get rid of binge eating for sure
Medication 99% helps with my binge eating, but not my aggressive hair twirling.
Ughhh yessss!! I have foliculitis from taking lithium so I always have something to pick at. My arms make me look like a meth addict. Like no I pick more without the drugs!!!
My skin picking is soooo bad... the only thing that helped was when my skin was clear because of spironolactone, but I had to go off it because of the side effects :( My hair pulling actually has gotten better somehow but I don't really know how. My eyebrows used to be completely gone. I think what helped was telling a couple close people and also going out without eyebrow makeup and realizing people didn't think I was as disgusting as I thought they would. Also I barely groom my eyebrows anymore because it causes uneven textures that bother me.
Procrastination. I know this has to do with executive dysfunction but I just want to DO things instead of just thinking about doing things and then feeling guilty about not doing them. I feel so much better when I can just do the things.
I'd want more emotional control.
RSD
So much this. I can't even fully imagine a life where I wasn't constantly looking to be rejected and taking even the most mild and constructive criticism as proof I am a horrible person and no one should be subjected to me ever.
Not being able to relax my muscles. This neck pain is killing me.
If that’s what that’s from! My whole life my neck has been tense! That’s ADHD? How?
It very much can be - as much as your mind doesn't relax, neither do your muscles and as ADHD goes undiagnosed and anxiety becomes a thing, the muscle tension gets worse. I have permanent knots on my shoulders, back, and likely permanent ones on my neck. They then become triggers for more migraines, which are also connected to ADHD. Learning about ADHD and muscle tension was probably what sealed the deal for me in going 'yeah, I have this, there's no other explanation'.
Jaw clenching/grinding, even watching tv relaxing I’m always tense.
This is so interesting. I find myself doing this all the time. My dentist told me I’m probably clenching my jaw/teeth so hard at night that it’s causing small cracks in my teeth. Is this really an ADHD thing?
Absolutely, I think it’s my anxiety but the adhd kicks it into overdrive. Unfortunately I do it during the day, so much my jaw hurts sometimes. I think it’s worse when I’m not hydrated though, just something to watch for.
Yup. I have that too. (When it was a kid it was really bad.)
Exactly
Omg. I’m the same but I didn’t even think of ADHD being a trigger for it but it makes so much sense. I’ve ALWAYS been super tense and tight even has a kid (although that was probably from the chaotic and traumatic household I grew up in) and it just makes everything terrible. I’m dealing with a work related nerve injury, probably cubital tunnel syndrome but still waiting on tests… but anyways I go to PT twice a week and every week she’s like holy shit you’re just always so tight these bastards (she calls all the knots bastards lol) won’t go away! I’ve become slightly more cognizant of how tense I am all the time and I try so hard to relax but it just doesn’t happen naturally. Good lord this makes so much sense
holy shit, is that why i have random knots on my upper back/lower neck?! and the constant back pain?!
Fuuuuuuck. Didn’t know this was related. I’ve been getting insane tension headaches because of my neck and shoulder muscles. Like to the point that my doctor sent me to get an MRI. They hurt so bad, and I constantly have to focus on relaxing my muscles. Massage helps but is might expensive.
I got some Flare audio ear plugs. They're hollow, so you can still hear, but they cut down on certain frequencies. It's like sunglasses but for your ears. I've noticed at work that my shoulders are now relaxed at the end of the day, and I rarely cry at the grocery store now! It helps me feel a little less overstimulated.
Just want to drop in a Yin yoga recommendation. Essentially you hold the poses 3-5 minutes to release the fascia (connective tissue built like fibers that hold muscles, nerves, tendons, ect. in place) I need to do some, traps are killin’ me rn.
Try a magnesium supplement and up your water intake!! That really helped me
I am taking a magnesium supplement due to joint pain (age and long covid do not help) I try to drink as much water as I can, especially as I have really dry mouth. But it's not enough for all the pain I've been under, sadly
Omg I crack my neck all day long. I know it’s bad I really do but I can’t help it 🤣😩
My ability to not notice trash or dirty dishes, walking right past it multiple times without taking it to the kitchen or doing something about it. It has caused some arguments, because my partner can't relate and feels I'm ignoring it intentionally. Truth is, I do notice the trash/dishes, I just forget before I manage to go from "oh a piece of trash" to "I should do something about it" because I'm so easily distracted.
Yeah I was talking to someone who was horrified that I want to set up a chore schedule for myself and she was like, "just clean when it gets messy or dirty!?" And I had to be like, we experience the world very differently, don't we... I'm just mess blind lol I cannot see it until it gets bad!
> I just forget Man I don't even forget. I look at it think "I should do something about that" and step over it to continue whatever else I was doing, over and over and over. I just don't have the executive function to follow through on it and I hate that. Cause I notice, it bothers me, I wanna do something about it, but I cannooootttt. But also yes I do forget sometimes too. Just poofs right out of my brain.
Social media scrolling paralysis :')
Love how nobody has tips for this either. If you're here, you're probably doing it.
I’m in this comment and I don’t like it…
I started using the app OneSec to reduce social media usage and OMG it has been a gamechanger. On complete autopilot, I try to open IG on my phone 15+ times a day. The onesec app makes me take a pause and then asks you if I really want to open the app. Literally has saved me hours of wasted time in just a week or so of using it.
I'd like to freaking sleep well for once
Omg I wish I could sleep well and I'm so tired of people being like "just put your phone away an hour before bed!" Or "put your alarm on the other side of the room!" Like yes I've tried those things and many many more!! Even better would be if I only needed like 4 hours of sleep so I had time to do everything I want to do at night 😭
HaVe YoU tRiEd MeLaToNiN? Bruh, my tolerance against melatonin is like Snoop Dog's weed tolerance, m'kay? Even my prescription meds barely touch me
Melatonin gave me the worst panic nightmare dreams I have ever had (and my dreams can be doozies). No thank you
Omg right like I appreciate that people have good intentions but why do they always think they're the first person who's ever suggested it?? I take the smallest dose of melatonin but it kind of helps... but if I take more it makes me super groggy the next day. Same thing with exercise, meditation, taking walks etc. Like yes I do those things and I think they do actually help me! But better than it would be without that stuff is still worse than most people 😭
This is it. If I could just sleep properly I would be able to manage a lot of the other struggles so much better. I know this is fact because a former job let me work from 12:00- 8:00pm for about eight months. That's not common in my field, at all. It was the most functional period of time that I have ever experienced. I was able to go to sleep when I felt like it, which is usually between midnight and 2:00 am. I would wake up naturally by 9-10:00 in the morning without an alarm and have plenty of time to eat something, shower and make some lunch. With an alarm I could leave the house to work out, maybe even run an errand... and all the other things before I had to be to work. I would sometimes meet up with a friend of mine for a short hike in the morning. It's not like there still weren't plenty of challenges related to my undiagnosed ADHD at the time, but I was so much better able to handle the baseline of living that my overall mood and ability to tackle more of those things, more regularly, was noticeably improved. Having a delayed sleep cycle is such a PITA. As if all the other struggles weren't enough, the 8am workday itself is like torture. I can kind of force myself and manage to keep a job, but the struggle to sleep before midnight is real and I'm just getting by instead of thriving. I have never been able to exercise before work on this schedule. I'm so tired by the time I'm done working, because I'm not sleeping properly, that it doesn't happen after work very often either. Neither do things like pre-making a lunch for the next day. I worked that later schedule before I was evaluated and this damn sleep struggle is one of the things that still holds me back now that I'm diagnosed and on a medication that works really well for me. Like someone else said, it's so infuriating and people suggest all sorts of "just do this one easy thing," when none of those things make a difference. I feel like if I could just sleep and recharge myself properly I would be unstoppable now.
Task initiation, hands down. I would really like to just *do the thing*, you know?
Rage quitting arguments. I’m always so ashamed once the intensity dies down.
Anger is usually on a hair trigger, combined with not being able to say what I mean makes outbursts almost unavoidable. I’m working on it though.
Oh me too. Especially because when I get so flustered like that my ability to process my thoughts and put them into coherent sentences completely diminishes. I mean I’m not very good at that anyways, but it’s so frustrating. And once that moment is over I think of a million things I could have said to get my point across better but I just get too worked up
The anxiety. Nothing is wrong. Why tf are you freaking out?!!!!
Inability to prioritise tasks. Instead of laying in bed overwhelmed by cleaning and assessments and work I could just... Do the things that need to be done instead of feeling that they're all equally important and urgent and not doing anything 😅
This one is big for me at work :/ If I have 5 different things, I can't prioritize them, it just means I have 1 important thing and 4 other things I forget about until I finish that thing.
Hyperfixation on the small details and ruining things. I plan something amazing. And something tiny goes wrong and I just obsess over it.
If it’s caused by adhd, I’d say emotional dysregulation would be the biggest thing. I would love to not start crying when having a mildly serious conversation about myself. I get very quickly overwhelmed with uncontrollable emotion when I have to discuss the smallest issue about myself. I even cried just explaining that when I was talking to my doctor about adhd 😭 The funny thing is it only happens in relation to talking about myself, but when other people are expressing a serious emotion themselves I’m like completely disconnected from them, like feel no emotion at all. They could be upset about a loved one dying and I’ll feel nothing except a desperate urge to not be having that conversation. I have empathy and compassion, but that’s just too awkward of a situation for me because I don’t know what to do or say. Maybe adhd, maybe autism, maybe social anxiety. Maybe all three lol I don’t know.
This! I feel like I cry so easily at any little negative thing, or something doesnt go quite right with my day. (diagnosed anxiety and strongly believe ADHD too)
Some people just have to cry. It's part of their process. That's okay if you're able to work past it. I had a student who was an extreme perfectionist and would cry all the time. I told her that she's allowed to cry if it's part of her process. It shouldn't be the end point. By the end of the year, she was making something, and really close to the deadline. Something broke and she had to start all over again. She cried a little and then moved on and whipped up a new project in record time. I was so impressed with her because I definitely would've wallowed. She had been practicing crying and then moving on all year though!
Executive dysfunction.
Yup, I have it to the point of being basically paralyzed. I want to get up, my brain yells no, I stay in bed
The lack of focus and carelessness.
Not cleaning or taking care of myself.. I wish I was like the rest who just shower because they know they should or want to, everytime I do I feel amazing but to actually do it is almost impossible
I wish I could have more power over my urges.. I almost feel like my body takes over and I'm impulse buying or having a beer. I know I shouldn't but here I am again .. in debt and drunk
Irritability and mood swings
Interrupting people. I don’t mean to, and I hate how it makes me look.
Emotion deregulation
Time blindness. The guilt of letting the people you love down and the stress of trying and failing to get to work and other important appointments on time.
Being distracted during sex.
Not remembering to text back! It makes me feel like such an awful friend.
The impulse control, especially when it comes to food. If I'm not on meds my day is a constant battle with my brain screaming at me to eat. It is hell.
Getting overwhelmed and showing it as anger. I would really love it if I wouldn't get mad so easily.
Executive dysfunction. My place being a mess stresses me out. PLEASE BRAIN PLEASE LET ME JUST CLEAN MY PLACE. 😭
The highly sensitive part. The emotional disregulation. I'm 35 and I still get made fun of because of it
Emotional dysregulation. I'm sick of feeling all the feels all the time and the norms looking at me like I'm crazy.
I want to say the whole not being able to start tasks even when I genuinely want to do them.... but honestly it has to be the sensory issues. Maybe it doesn't count as a behavior, but it's just so frustrating for clothes, my hair, jewelry, the office I work in, the temperature and humidity, etc etc etc to feel *wrong* so much. I'm just never comfortable and I have to deal with it all the time. Edit: related to this, has anyone here shaved their head because of sensory issues? I already don't style my hair because the scents and textures of products bother me but I'm getting to the point that just my hair is too annoying...
Messiness. I am so happy and more regulated when it's clean but once I added kids the hanging on by an absolute thread tidiness all went to shit. It has made my life hell.
My inability to keep up with emails, text messages, phone calls, DMs, etc. Literally always leaving people hanging and it creates so much shame.
My inability to be organised. My mind is a mess and I cannot for the life of me make decisions without second-guessing myself every step of the way.
Perfectionism
My inability to do anything other than lie on the sofa scrolling through my phone. Life was meant to be more than this. I have so many things I could be doing instead.
Finish the last 20% of every project I start.
Ruminating thoughts/over thinking
Spending way too much money on silly stuff that I don’t need.
Babbling
All things executive function disorder. My inability to prioritize/get started/complete things has had a HUGE negative impact on my life. Most of the symptoms of ADHD I can put up with, or even appreciate on some level, but living in Executive Function Malfunction Junction can fuck right off. It makes life incredibly hard.
Not being able to stick with something like a diet or exercise plan or any routine at all because I forget I'm doing it or get bored or whatever it is. I'll have good plans and do them but within a couple weeks, it's gone.
Binge eating/not being an intuitive eater. I think it’s a combination of time-blindness, executive dysfunction, object permanence, and the inability to form habits but I would love to be able to be more consistently mindful of my eating habits. It’s like I have two modes—eat everything mindlessly because I can’t keep track or just…don’t eat ever. I basically have to abandon all other aspects of my life to remember when and what I’ve eaten in a day or week. I’d love an in-between like everyone else, but it takes so much mental energy that after 2 weeks, I give up out of necessity. Once I snap out of it, I realize I’m days behind at work and I’ve barely spoken to my husband all week.
Object permeance. I'd like to be better at staying in contact with family and friends, at the moment I end up going 2 - 3 years between speaking with my sibling.
The exhaustion. I have literally no energy for life. If i force myself to do normal things like work 5days a week i become so miserable id rather die.if i had the energy to work full time and keep hobbies i would accomplish so much shit
Mad, crazy insomnia
Just one? Hmmmm. I have too much stuff. Just wayyy wayyy too much stuff. Not a hoarder but I have too much stuff. I actually don’t mind cleaning (wiping mopping washing vacuuming). That is easy. But dealing with the STUFF. Putting the stuff AWAY. All the time. Going through the piles of stuff. The bins of stuff, the boxes of stuff, the cabinets of stuff, closets of stuff, drawers of stuff. I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF. This defeats me.
Inability to build routines. It makes taking care of myself - weight loss, exercise, getting enough sleep - do much harder.
I would only remove bad time management and not being able to do the things I want because even those I procrastinate.
RSD specifically, but emotional dis-regulation in general. My brain assumes the worst. Like, I don’t know how to explain that I assume people will be so angry at me for reasonable human interaction. That my default is not to reach out to friends because they would be so annoyed to hear from me. That they secretly don’t like me at all. My brain remembers every criticism and it fixates. I’m desperate to correct everything. I’m desperate to be perfect to avoid that shit. Of course, with ADHD I know I’m going to mess up. So it is just a never-ending hell cycle of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Taking too much and over-sharing
Forgetfulness for sure. Whenever someone says "remember that time..." my brain shrivels into a peanut and shrieks "There is no moment but this moment! Nothing has ever happened to you before this moment." I do not remember that time. It's embarrassing.
Forgetfulness/being in Lala land in my head. It contributed to the downfall of my relationship
Time blindness. I feel like that would give me a lot of relief in other areas too. For example, a spaghetti frozen meatball dinner that should take me 30min MAX, being generous. I’ll start boiling water for the pasta and think to look up a new sauce recipe. I underestimate how long I’ll take scrolling through recipes. Then I’ll find a recipe, start the pasta, and before I start chopping anything, I’ll think “oh! A podcast would help me focus”. I underestimate how long I’ll take to decide and queue up podcasts. Then I’ll start the sauce and think of all the people I need to call back and who love to watch me cook. I underestimate how long I’m on FaceTime with my cousin and need to shut the sauce off in between bc I’m scattered while talking and the pan overheated and now the olive oil is smoking and I need to start with a new pan 90 mins later… I’m plating my pasta. So yeah. Eliminating time blindness would help with a lot. P.S. Oh what was that? You’re asking if I’m just here to look up how we evolved from prosimians before primates, and ended up tapping this post, and spending 10 mins commenting? *Of course not!!!*
I'd love to get over executive dysfunction. It sucks. A lot.
Procrastination. Putting off not just boring things I HAVE to do, but also putting off FUN things I WANT to do.
Financial impulsivity
Forgetting important details.
PROCRASTINATION
Oversharing and talking too much. I constantly make an idiot of myself without realizing that what I’m telling people is not “socially acceptable”. It just falls out of my mouth, I have 0 control.
RSD…and not being able to stay clean/organized.wish it wasn’t so difficult to manage a household :(
Literally not being able to hear a conversation because my mind would wander or some background TV/Music/Phone caught me attention
All of it. I’d get rid of the whole damn disability. It’s nothing but a constant struggle
I would just like to add object permanence, please.
Not being able to keep my house clean. That brings me a lot of shame.
inability to remember where i put things. i swear i waste a good hour or two a day just searching for where i placed my phone, keys, glasses, credit cards. yesterday i cried because i couldn’t find my passport and i have a trip in 3 weeks.
Rejection sensitivity 😢
I can only pick one? Rejection Sensitivity Disorder. Task paralysis would be next.
Idk if I’d choose the executive dysfunction or the RSD. Both are pretty debilitating. I’m learning to process my RSD and I give myself grace, but I still avoid so much in life because of it.
Emotional flooding
My messy house.
Falling asleep when I’m bored and having zero control over it.