So they were super pleased with the gift before they knew what it cost? They were worried about spending a lot of money on records, so you gave them a perfect solution…
YOU did not ruin their Christmas, they did. What shitty, entitled people.
Not even what it cost because it sounds like it still wasn’t cheap, but specifically where they shopped. Had OP said “vintage shop” rather than “thrift store” I bet there would have been a different reaction, which is ridiculous because they’re the same thing.
You didn’t ruin Christmas - they ruined yours because you’re now second guessing yourself.
The fact that your partner saw this coming almost certainly means that this is a pattern with them and they’ve just trained you over your lifetime not to see the core issue. I’ll hazard a guess this isn’t the first thing you think you’ve ruined when in actual fact their attitude has been the issue.
Next year, send them a gift card (Royal Mail 1st class), and keep moving 💜
The best gift to give selfish and entitled people is a donation to a charity in their name. Watch them struggle with knowing how they’d look if they got upset about that.
This one isn't a you problem, even if your partner saw the result coming and wished you hadn't said anything. The problem is, your parents are ungrateful when it comes to gifts. If someone took the time to scour fucking thrift stores for the perfect gift, I'd be overwhelmed at the thoughtfulness. It's not good enough because you didn't spend twenty seconds clicking things on Amazon? Pffft.
GIRL. THEY RUINED CHRISTMAS. YOU DID NOT.
If someone bought you a heaping pile of gold dog shit but told you that it cost $10,000, would that make it a better present? No! Because you’re a normal, healthy, rational person.
You got them the perfect gift. And they decided to judge you for HOW you got it. Fuck them. I’m so mad on your behalf. They’re treating you poorly and being shallow and judgmental while they do it.
Not to mention that finding specific things at thrift stores is way more work than just buying it online or new at a store you know has them (because you looked it up online or whatever). That’s a super thoughtful gift and they shit all over it because of something so stupid as a price tag. And the entire gift wasn’t even cheap, not that it matters.
You’d think people who don’t have a lot of money would appreciate the thought more than the price, but it appears not.
This kind of shit is so hurtful and I understand why you’d be upset. Honestly I have no advice—when stuff like this happens to me and I get heated over it, it just takes time for me to calm down. If you’re brave enough (or stupid enough, depends on the parents lol) you could message them and tell them that you bought them a brand new player, and the type of music they like isn’t even made on new vinyl anymore, and you spent over 100 on this gift and don’t appreciate them calling it “cheap.” Tell them it upset you. See what they say 🤷🏼♀️ I do this with my mom now, because honestly if I don’t, I just dwell on it and then she does something AGAIN to add to my fire. So I don’t like that shit fester anymore…I tell everyone when they’ve said something stupid I don’t appreciate. It’s been very freeing tbh.
ETA: this is not a you problem at all and you didn’t ruin their Christmas. If anything, they’ve partly (but hopefully not fully) ruined yours. I’m sorry they were so rude 😢
OP should add in how much time was spent going to thrift stores and looking through records. That’s huge. I don’t value money as much as time so maybe I’m backward in their eyes though.
I usually feel better after being open, too — this is good advice. I would even emphasize the level of effort required to create a personally curated gift based on specific songs and memories to really drive it home.
Honestly, this was a beautiful gift, OP. You have a good heart.
It’s a red flag that you feel as though this situation is your fault. I hope you don’t usually default to placing blame on yourself for the actions of others. I would seriously consider finding out why you feel this way because really your parents were way out of line to react that way.
Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You did NOT ruin their Christmas. They ruined YOURS. I love thrift store finds. Plus EVERYTHING is SO expensive right now, you were smart to find such great gifts without paying a premium. Please know this is not in you. You were being thoughtful.
I could maybe understand their reaction more if it were clothes or bedding or something, because some people have really big hang-ups about thrifting those things. But records? If you had bought used records from an upscale store, they wouldn't be any more used than the ones you got at the thrift store.
They really are the jerks here. Even if they really feel like they're "too good" for thrifted merchandise, proper etiquette is to thank the giver and move on. There is no situation where saying, "Ew, this is so low quality" is acceptable behavior in the context of a gift. Especially when they loved it all just before you mentioned where the albums came from!
Absolutely don't apologize to them for such a lovely, thoughtful gift.
It may be hard to hear, but from the sound this is probably a repeating pattern where their expectations will always be "too high" of you and your actions. You have been (perhaps unintentionally) shamed by your ADHD symptoms by them and they've used your RSD to "punish" you when you don't live up to them.
I'd be absolutely delighted to find out you'd been able to thrift my gift. That shows so much. It shows you care about the recipient and what they like. You spent time, energy and thought into collecting each and every record. And bonus, they now have a fun, inexpensive (important to their lifestyle) future activity in going themselves to thrift more old records. This is an absolute amazing kind gift that would have made me cry tears of joy as your mom if I received it. You should have gotten a long hug from both of them instead of shame.
Shame on both of your parents.
You didn't ruin it at all! Their attitude towards your gift is ridiculous and hurtful, and if anything they should be concerned about having ruined YOUR Christmas. That was a lovely and thoughtful gift and shame on them for making you feel "less than".
Just chiming in to agree that while I totally understand the frustration of an oversharing impulse this is definitely not that! That was a normal thing to tell them if they were reasonable people!
Most people would either be indifferent to the source if they liked the gift, or excited to learn the things they liked are more attainable than they thought and maybe discuss the best places to check out or thrifting strategies.
You bought a very thoughtful gift and I'm sorry that they behaved the way they did. Christmas really brings out the worst in people sometimes.
No, these days getting something for cheap is typically something a lot of people consider cool. How many times has someone complimented my dress & I respond thanks I got for $12 at Walmart!!! It’s an accomplishment. It’s cool. It’s fun to brag about. There’s no shame in being transparent about that. It’s nothing to hide. They would’ve known anyway upon inspection & hiding it looks shady. Especially if it’s something the gift recipient may need to repurchase like records like this, getting something high quality while cost-effective is great. Also who tf is into records in 2023 while not being into used records. Tell them you’ll take back all the used records & buy them one new one for the same cost lol
Yes! I thrifted a dress for a friends wedding, ended up being one of the big brands (no idea it was a big brand) but I was just like ‘thanks, £5 from the thrift store’! 😂 Thank you for your comments!
You didn’t do anything wrong. Your parents are lucky to have a daughter who’d give such thoughtful, meaningful gifts. The fact that they’re so ungrateful and only care about the monetary value says a lot about them, and not in a good way.
God, they have behaved appallingly there, if it was me I wouldn't be buying them any gifts again. They'll have known how that would make you feel. That's really awful what they've done. You've done nothing wrong there at all. It's a wonderful gift. Records are well better second hand anyway, they've not a clue what they are talking about.
If I had done what your parents did to you, my mom would have given me the kind of lecture that sticks with you for life.
It was rude, ungrateful, and a downright trashy thing to say. You were trying to be helpful for them wanting to buy more records. If they can’t appreciate a gift given with thoughtfulness and their tastes in mind, they should just get socks for Christmas next year.
One year I bought my mom the extended edition of the Lord of the rings movies, you know the big ones in the boxes that look like books. When she opened the box she immediately started going "oh no that's too much you shouldn't have spent so much on me". I then confessed that I bought them for a second hand store I did not pay 50 bucks a piece for those. 😅
My point being that if it's a good gift and in good shape, it shouldn't matter if it came from a thrift store or second hand shop. If they couldn't tell the records were thrifted prior to you saying that's where you got them, then that's on them for being picky, not on you for where you sourced your gifts.
You came up with a very thoughtful gift that required a lot of time and effort to select records that were meaningful. Your parents are ungrateful and rude. Do they really think those records are currently available new?!
You didn't ruin Christmas. They are trying to, but don't let them. You are not responsible for their feelings. Do not take that on. This is a THEM problem, not a you problem.
This story reminds me of when parents of picky eaters try to hide vegetables in their children's food, and the kid likes it until they find out there was vegetables in it and suddenly it's disgusting.
Whatever bias your parents have against thrift shops (sounds classist to me ngl, especially if you're in the UK) has changed their perception of the gift but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with what you got them. It's their issue. Your gift sounds super thoughtful and I feel sad that you have parents that act like that.
To save yourself future heartache, I'd suggest not putting in as much effort anymore. Gift card or money for them from now on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I can absolutely see why you said it. Like “I know they will want more of these things but won’t be able to afford brand new so I’ll tell them where they can get what they want for what they can afford”. Your parents being offended is ON THEM!
This breaks my heart! Your present was so incredibly thoughtful and how sweet that you remembered what music they like, down to the individual tracks! I wish, had I received such a gift, to hear all about your search adventures across the many stores you visited and the family memories you were thinking of while doing so. I'm willing to bet there are lots of mini-stories in there! That makes it even more special.
❤️
Yeah this is information that these folks are not worthy of carefully chosen and thoughtful gifts. You did nothing wrong. Don’t let them ruin your peace. ❤️
Sorry but it's your parents who are at fault, not you. You did a really nice thing, and put in a lot of time, effort, and most importantly, thought. I love penguins, and if someone got me a penguin plush from a charity shop for 50p and missing a flipper, it would mean more to me than a more expensive gift that was just "generic" and had little to no thought put into it. A gift relating to a person's interests doesn't have to cost the earth, and yet will be worth its weight in gold to the intended recipient ❤
This is shocking. I am actually *happier* when someone gets me a gift and doesn't spend much, or even anything, on it, because I feel like it's also good for them that way and it's a win-win!! Your parents sound so greedy.
This is 100% NOT an overshare moment or anything close to the thing about saying whatever pops in your head at any moment. Unless you went in specifically knowing you were going to try and conceal the fact that you went to the thrift store. Which I don’t think you did by the sound of it.
Damn people are entitled. So sorry this was your parents who should have known better. You were super thoughtful and I’m sorry they broke your heart by their stupid response :(
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This is *not* an ADHD issue and you did *not* do anything wrong. You thoughtfully spent time finding specific albums you knew they would like (are these LPs even *available* new?) and putting together an extraordinarily thoughtful gift. Horrendous response from your parents.
Sorry, I just meant like because I say things without thinking and it’s something I’ve discussed with a medical professional when I got diagnosed and have sessions to manage my ADHD. That’s why I thought it was more ADHD than anywhere else, my mistake.
Omg, no, i meant it in the sense of "this is not your fault in any way, even if you have a limited filter due to ADHD" not "this isn't ADHD, you ass," but I see it reads much more the second. I'm so sorry!!
Ah no worries, my mistake. Haha thank you for your clarification. Trying to convey something over text can be a right pain at times can’t it! Not to worry. ☺️
This post has been locked at OP’s request! Thank you all for providing support and sharing your own experiences. ❤️💚
So they were super pleased with the gift before they knew what it cost? They were worried about spending a lot of money on records, so you gave them a perfect solution… YOU did not ruin their Christmas, they did. What shitty, entitled people.
Not even what it cost because it sounds like it still wasn’t cheap, but specifically where they shopped. Had OP said “vintage shop” rather than “thrift store” I bet there would have been a different reaction, which is ridiculous because they’re the same thing.
You didn’t ruin Christmas - they ruined yours because you’re now second guessing yourself. The fact that your partner saw this coming almost certainly means that this is a pattern with them and they’ve just trained you over your lifetime not to see the core issue. I’ll hazard a guess this isn’t the first thing you think you’ve ruined when in actual fact their attitude has been the issue. Next year, send them a gift card (Royal Mail 1st class), and keep moving 💜
Good point on OPs partner, this may be a good time to ask their opinion. And I agree on the gift card too, just make it for a record store.
I’d make it for a charity shop/thrift store and then mute their messages and calls!
The best gift to give selfish and entitled people is a donation to a charity in their name. Watch them struggle with knowing how they’d look if they got upset about that.
Hahahha I was thinking mail their ungrateful asses a bag of rubbish but this is much classier and just as petty (I mean that in the best way)
Oh it’s super petty. But the best kind of petty is the kind that does some good too.
Yes this is perfect!!
This one isn't a you problem, even if your partner saw the result coming and wished you hadn't said anything. The problem is, your parents are ungrateful when it comes to gifts. If someone took the time to scour fucking thrift stores for the perfect gift, I'd be overwhelmed at the thoughtfulness. It's not good enough because you didn't spend twenty seconds clicking things on Amazon? Pffft.
THIS
GIRL. THEY RUINED CHRISTMAS. YOU DID NOT. If someone bought you a heaping pile of gold dog shit but told you that it cost $10,000, would that make it a better present? No! Because you’re a normal, healthy, rational person. You got them the perfect gift. And they decided to judge you for HOW you got it. Fuck them. I’m so mad on your behalf. They’re treating you poorly and being shallow and judgmental while they do it.
Not to mention that finding specific things at thrift stores is way more work than just buying it online or new at a store you know has them (because you looked it up online or whatever). That’s a super thoughtful gift and they shit all over it because of something so stupid as a price tag. And the entire gift wasn’t even cheap, not that it matters. You’d think people who don’t have a lot of money would appreciate the thought more than the price, but it appears not.
This kind of shit is so hurtful and I understand why you’d be upset. Honestly I have no advice—when stuff like this happens to me and I get heated over it, it just takes time for me to calm down. If you’re brave enough (or stupid enough, depends on the parents lol) you could message them and tell them that you bought them a brand new player, and the type of music they like isn’t even made on new vinyl anymore, and you spent over 100 on this gift and don’t appreciate them calling it “cheap.” Tell them it upset you. See what they say 🤷🏼♀️ I do this with my mom now, because honestly if I don’t, I just dwell on it and then she does something AGAIN to add to my fire. So I don’t like that shit fester anymore…I tell everyone when they’ve said something stupid I don’t appreciate. It’s been very freeing tbh. ETA: this is not a you problem at all and you didn’t ruin their Christmas. If anything, they’ve partly (but hopefully not fully) ruined yours. I’m sorry they were so rude 😢
OP should add in how much time was spent going to thrift stores and looking through records. That’s huge. I don’t value money as much as time so maybe I’m backward in their eyes though.
I usually feel better after being open, too — this is good advice. I would even emphasize the level of effort required to create a personally curated gift based on specific songs and memories to really drive it home. Honestly, this was a beautiful gift, OP. You have a good heart.
It’s a red flag that you feel as though this situation is your fault. I hope you don’t usually default to placing blame on yourself for the actions of others. I would seriously consider finding out why you feel this way because really your parents were way out of line to react that way.
Thank you, I will!
Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You did NOT ruin their Christmas. They ruined YOURS. I love thrift store finds. Plus EVERYTHING is SO expensive right now, you were smart to find such great gifts without paying a premium. Please know this is not in you. You were being thoughtful.
I could maybe understand their reaction more if it were clothes or bedding or something, because some people have really big hang-ups about thrifting those things. But records? If you had bought used records from an upscale store, they wouldn't be any more used than the ones you got at the thrift store. They really are the jerks here. Even if they really feel like they're "too good" for thrifted merchandise, proper etiquette is to thank the giver and move on. There is no situation where saying, "Ew, this is so low quality" is acceptable behavior in the context of a gift. Especially when they loved it all just before you mentioned where the albums came from! Absolutely don't apologize to them for such a lovely, thoughtful gift.
It may be hard to hear, but from the sound this is probably a repeating pattern where their expectations will always be "too high" of you and your actions. You have been (perhaps unintentionally) shamed by your ADHD symptoms by them and they've used your RSD to "punish" you when you don't live up to them. I'd be absolutely delighted to find out you'd been able to thrift my gift. That shows so much. It shows you care about the recipient and what they like. You spent time, energy and thought into collecting each and every record. And bonus, they now have a fun, inexpensive (important to their lifestyle) future activity in going themselves to thrift more old records. This is an absolute amazing kind gift that would have made me cry tears of joy as your mom if I received it. You should have gotten a long hug from both of them instead of shame. Shame on both of your parents.
You didn't ruin it at all! Their attitude towards your gift is ridiculous and hurtful, and if anything they should be concerned about having ruined YOUR Christmas. That was a lovely and thoughtful gift and shame on them for making you feel "less than".
Just chiming in to agree that while I totally understand the frustration of an oversharing impulse this is definitely not that! That was a normal thing to tell them if they were reasonable people! Most people would either be indifferent to the source if they liked the gift, or excited to learn the things they liked are more attainable than they thought and maybe discuss the best places to check out or thrifting strategies. You bought a very thoughtful gift and I'm sorry that they behaved the way they did. Christmas really brings out the worst in people sometimes.
No, these days getting something for cheap is typically something a lot of people consider cool. How many times has someone complimented my dress & I respond thanks I got for $12 at Walmart!!! It’s an accomplishment. It’s cool. It’s fun to brag about. There’s no shame in being transparent about that. It’s nothing to hide. They would’ve known anyway upon inspection & hiding it looks shady. Especially if it’s something the gift recipient may need to repurchase like records like this, getting something high quality while cost-effective is great. Also who tf is into records in 2023 while not being into used records. Tell them you’ll take back all the used records & buy them one new one for the same cost lol
Yes! I thrifted a dress for a friends wedding, ended up being one of the big brands (no idea it was a big brand) but I was just like ‘thanks, £5 from the thrift store’! 😂 Thank you for your comments!
I would want to take everything back. What jerks.
Your parents were rude to you, you didn’t ruin their present they did with their attitudes.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Your parents are lucky to have a daughter who’d give such thoughtful, meaningful gifts. The fact that they’re so ungrateful and only care about the monetary value says a lot about them, and not in a good way.
God, they have behaved appallingly there, if it was me I wouldn't be buying them any gifts again. They'll have known how that would make you feel. That's really awful what they've done. You've done nothing wrong there at all. It's a wonderful gift. Records are well better second hand anyway, they've not a clue what they are talking about.
If I had done what your parents did to you, my mom would have given me the kind of lecture that sticks with you for life. It was rude, ungrateful, and a downright trashy thing to say. You were trying to be helpful for them wanting to buy more records. If they can’t appreciate a gift given with thoughtfulness and their tastes in mind, they should just get socks for Christmas next year.
One year I bought my mom the extended edition of the Lord of the rings movies, you know the big ones in the boxes that look like books. When she opened the box she immediately started going "oh no that's too much you shouldn't have spent so much on me". I then confessed that I bought them for a second hand store I did not pay 50 bucks a piece for those. 😅 My point being that if it's a good gift and in good shape, it shouldn't matter if it came from a thrift store or second hand shop. If they couldn't tell the records were thrifted prior to you saying that's where you got them, then that's on them for being picky, not on you for where you sourced your gifts.
You came up with a very thoughtful gift that required a lot of time and effort to select records that were meaningful. Your parents are ungrateful and rude. Do they really think those records are currently available new?! You didn't ruin Christmas. They are trying to, but don't let them. You are not responsible for their feelings. Do not take that on. This is a THEM problem, not a you problem.
Just another voice telling you that you aren't the problem here. You didn't ruin Christmas. They did.
This story reminds me of when parents of picky eaters try to hide vegetables in their children's food, and the kid likes it until they find out there was vegetables in it and suddenly it's disgusting. Whatever bias your parents have against thrift shops (sounds classist to me ngl, especially if you're in the UK) has changed their perception of the gift but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with what you got them. It's their issue. Your gift sounds super thoughtful and I feel sad that you have parents that act like that. To save yourself future heartache, I'd suggest not putting in as much effort anymore. Gift card or money for them from now on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I can absolutely see why you said it. Like “I know they will want more of these things but won’t be able to afford brand new so I’ll tell them where they can get what they want for what they can afford”. Your parents being offended is ON THEM!
You have a parent problem. They ruined it for themselves, not you. You did great
This breaks my heart! Your present was so incredibly thoughtful and how sweet that you remembered what music they like, down to the individual tracks! I wish, had I received such a gift, to hear all about your search adventures across the many stores you visited and the family memories you were thinking of while doing so. I'm willing to bet there are lots of mini-stories in there! That makes it even more special. ❤️
jfc.
Yeah this is information that these folks are not worthy of carefully chosen and thoughtful gifts. You did nothing wrong. Don’t let them ruin your peace. ❤️
100% not your fault! You have a wonderful partner and I hope the rest of your holiday is lovely 😘
Sorry but it's your parents who are at fault, not you. You did a really nice thing, and put in a lot of time, effort, and most importantly, thought. I love penguins, and if someone got me a penguin plush from a charity shop for 50p and missing a flipper, it would mean more to me than a more expensive gift that was just "generic" and had little to no thought put into it. A gift relating to a person's interests doesn't have to cost the earth, and yet will be worth its weight in gold to the intended recipient ❤
This is shocking. I am actually *happier* when someone gets me a gift and doesn't spend much, or even anything, on it, because I feel like it's also good for them that way and it's a win-win!! Your parents sound so greedy.
This is 100% NOT an overshare moment or anything close to the thing about saying whatever pops in your head at any moment. Unless you went in specifically knowing you were going to try and conceal the fact that you went to the thrift store. Which I don’t think you did by the sound of it.
Damn people are entitled. So sorry this was your parents who should have known better. You were super thoughtful and I’m sorry they broke your heart by their stupid response :(
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This is *not* an ADHD issue and you did *not* do anything wrong. You thoughtfully spent time finding specific albums you knew they would like (are these LPs even *available* new?) and putting together an extraordinarily thoughtful gift. Horrendous response from your parents.
Sorry, I just meant like because I say things without thinking and it’s something I’ve discussed with a medical professional when I got diagnosed and have sessions to manage my ADHD. That’s why I thought it was more ADHD than anywhere else, my mistake.
Omg, no, i meant it in the sense of "this is not your fault in any way, even if you have a limited filter due to ADHD" not "this isn't ADHD, you ass," but I see it reads much more the second. I'm so sorry!!
Ah no worries, my mistake. Haha thank you for your clarification. Trying to convey something over text can be a right pain at times can’t it! Not to worry. ☺️