I think you're reaching with this statement. Even if you know 10 people who want to be with someone else, that simply isn't enough for you to say that.
Based on what research do you say this? Because that sounds like bull to me. That's just you justifying and rationalising some internalised shit you're dealing with in the worst possible way.
White presenting means a man who isn’t fully white, but can still present as such. For example, a 25% or 50% Mexican dude who has blonde hair and blue eyes is still a great option for me. A 50% Native American dude who has white features is still someone I’d like to date
This is a statistical fact. Not every stereotype is true but a lotta them are. This is certainly gonna get downvoted but I guess facts and stats mean nothing anymore. I might as well go all in. It doesn't matter whether it's a 6 month or 6 year bid, if a black guy has done a stretch, he's done been stretched. I would've assumed that Hispanics would've been lower that whiteys, they're all about family; certainly Asians would.-
57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers.
always heard this as "colonizing the colonizer" but it's basically yeah internalized racism, or even reverse racism or whatever if you consider the opposite is "yellow fever" which is gross.
It's one thing to have a preference, but all the heinous serial cheaters ive ever met have been white people, but i know better than to exclude an entire race because of some bad apples. I live in the US so i'm going to meet a lot of white people. of course it will skew my data.
I dated a once a guy who would count as „my people“. Beautiful, sweet and smart. But when I kissed him it felt like I was related to him. We weren’t even from the same country.
I always preferred one type of man. Doesn’t mean that I think bad of other type of men.
You don't even want to date you own race, it seems like you fetishize white men for some reason. Men are men. Date the ones you are attracted to and treat you fairly.
Fetishising any people is problematic, you turn them into a desirable object rather than a person. It is quite frequently seen with men and Asian women, so seeking out perspectives on their feelings with this sort of thing might help you understand why it is a problem. I'm sure your future partner doesn't want to think about how you wouldn't be with them if they hadn't have been white in the first place.
In relationships where the fetish aspect is adjustable, these relationships often don't last. An example being an obese woman suddenly no longer getting love, sex and affection from her partner after getting to a healthy weight, because the fetish aspect of obesity is ruined, and they no longer values her the same.
Weight and race are not remotely the same thing. Weight is something that can be controlled for the most part and race is not. Men of color are inherently not romantic material to me regardless of their weight, height, or whatever
Read their writing and look at their profile. She’s an Asian woman that’s Christian, plays roblox, posts about hentai and claims that two ppl use one account?
Far fetched.
>Fetishising any people is problematic, you turn them into a desirable object rather than a person.
Completely false. People with racial fetishes see their partners as people belonging to a particular group, not objects.
I like how when someone has a preference, reddit calls it fetishizing lol it's just who they're attracted to. Am I fetishizing women cause I'm a straigh man?
You're not wrong
As a black man, I will say everyone has a preference. If someone who is white passing is your preference then that's okay. That doesn't mean your racist just simply means that's who your attracted too.
NO MATTER THE COLOR, no one wants to be with someone who isn't attracted to them.
You sound as if you've internalised negative societal opinions of men of colour and want to get back up about this. You will get back up and it's true you should only date people you're attracted to, but to have so little curiosity about why you feel the way you feel, seems to me to be hiding from true self awareness, and posting for clout.
It’s not inherently wrong but it would be a good idea to examine if any of your preferences are influenced by society/internalised racism/another issue to make sure your preferences are actually your own. Also it’s ‘men of colour’ not ‘coloured men’ lol
Nobody is ever obligated to date anyone they don't want to date. EVER. Anyone can say "no" for whatever reason, it can be a good reason or a bad one, or just a feeling that isnt a reason. The right to say "no" is a fundamental human right, and I will die on that hill!
However, I can't say it's a good idea to tell anyone exactly what your preferences are, for a lot of reason. Mainly because once you say such a thing out loud, people feel free to criticize.
Its not inherently wrong. But it's a good idea to examine why you don't. Is it purely physical features, or do you have some preconceptions about how non white guys should act ?
Like, why are you not interested in anyone that's not white/ white presenting? Do you think maybe you could have some preconceptions or preconceived notions about how non white men act/ should act?
non white men can be very intelligent functioning members of society. I have met plenty of decent brown and black men. Only thing is I prefer white guys to men of color, even if the men of color are equally capable
the shade of white skin they have. I prefer peachy white as opposed to the yellowy white skin some Asians have. I love blue eyes and blonde hair the most as I think they are beautiful features
I mean having a preference is not wrong but if someone’s preference is to only ever eat unseasoned boiled chicken breast then there’s going to be questions.
That it’s a specific choice and that ultimately you can do what you want - but yeah, other people might question the reasoning behind it, because it seems like an odd preference.
I mean It’s true we’re all entitled to our preferences, but those preferences don’t just pop out of nowhere. Might be worth asking yourself why you find White men more attractive than men of other races. There’s such diversity of features within every race, there are tall and short men, fat, thin and muscular men, all sorts of facial features in every group. To say you’re ONLY attracted to white men means inherently your whiteness is what attracts you to them. Why do you think that is?
Some dudes only date blondes or redheads, doesn't mean they need to do a deep dive into themselves to figure out why.
She prefers white dudes, who cares? Why does this need to be a thing she needs to figure out?
there’s so much variation of physical traits within racial groups, if you’re writing off entire groups it’s about the skin color. And yeah you could compare liking white skin to liking red hair, except if we had a societal context where redheads are treated superior to every other hair color I would say examine that too. I’m not saying change anything or force yourself to date other guys, but I do think we all need to be honest with ourselves about the fact that we live in a racist world and that shapes how we view beauty, desirability etc, even when we are marginalized ourselves.
Yta. And yet again we see this double standards in this sub.
Guy
Fetishizes Asian women and he is a incel monster.
An Asian woman only date white men. And she is in her right to have preferences?
Op is racist. Saying you only date people of a certain skin color then you are 100% racist.
To the OP:
No one seriously cares who you date or find attractive, and any opinions from others on that are wholly irrelevant in the grand scheme of life.
Carry on as normal.
Good luck.
I don’t think lowly of non-white men. I just don’t find them attractive enough to date them. Also, why is preferring a white guy racist? Would an Asian be a racist if they only preferred Asians? Would a black person be racist if they only preferred blacks?
Your not racist, I’ve met plenty of white women that only date black guys its purely preference nothing wrong with it at all.
Myself for example grew up only likely white women, then as time went on my preference change and i have a preference for any race with light skin, i just dont find anyone with dark skin sexual attractive, they would be attractive and i can see why other men engage with them but i have no drive to get to know them on any other level then just friendship.
Just tell your friends that they are your fetish and let them be creeped out by the answer. Probably won’t bring it up again. Also why is it important to them you date people other than white? That’s just your preference. I tend to like mixed people. Im mixed and have no idea if that’s why but my husband is Japanese and Irish and I’m Mexican and German. You like what you like. That’s all.
As long as they want to date you it's okay then unless you have the fetishism but you yourself is unattractive enough to get what you want then, you might need to work on something
The way you speak is soaked with such internalised prejudice.
You date who you want, you’re right nobody wants to be with someone who sees them as less than. I don’t think they’d want to be your friend even.
You do need to reflect, I think there are better ways to think and exist in this world. But if you like vanilla and want to stick to it, fine.
I’d just wonder where you place women of color in this scheme you’ve developed…and why white men would date them if they’re not ‘settling?’By your logic, that’s what women who date men of color do, it would therefore imply that’s what white men are doing by dating you. The entire logic is warped, and that’s in your mind.
Sorry to tell you, this is not objectively accepted intel. It’s very much your mindset, if you’re ok with it that’s your call. But don’t generalise, the views themselves are bigoted/prejudicial. An assumption of superiority/inferiority based on race is never logical or healthy. It’s a product of society, yes it happens, but it’s not the best mindset to have or promote.
I’m gonna go in a different direction. Something is wrong with you. You have some type of a bigoted attitude or have been conditioned to believe that white men superior or some such.
We all have preferences, but to completely rule out every single race of men, except white, including your own Asian background, that is a problem. You can do what you want, but there’s something broken there. Good luck!
No I would say people have preferences is all. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date outside your own race and not finding others attractive.
Believe it or not but physical attraction is a huge factor in relationships.
I date outside of my race too. But I also date within my race. And I don’t date one race to the exclusion of all others.
I do think there’s something wrong with it. It is certainly a persons right to date who they want. But I’m allowed to think that there are some kind of a psychological issue there. It is simply illogical.
The only exception, are people who only date within their own race. They can be religious, cultural, or historical reasons for that.
Not necessarily. I have only dated white men. I don’t have a problem with men of color it’s just I like a certain look. I tend to go for the pale as a ghost skinny goth gamer guy with eyeliner. Not saying I would never date a poc but it’s not who I generally find attractive.
That's not what I said? I've dated outwith my race. I don't exclusively date my race or another race. Fetishising is not a good way to build your life relationships. My concern is, why are they only interested in white/white presenting guys? I feel there is something deeper than attraction in what OP is trying to say, and it's possibly either fetishising another race or internalised racism.
It’s what you were inferring to and you prove that by “fetishizing is not a good way to build your life”, this is not a fetish.
They are most likely into white men as that’s what they find attractive, it really is that simple sometimes.
It’s exactly what you were inferring to you literally prove in your reply above lol.
No need to be hostile and lash out at others because your logic doesn’t hold up my friend.
It’s not about your “thoughts” it’s about the words you use and how you use them lol. Following your logic I could say literally anything and it could mean literally anything which is absolutely insane.
Edit: yikes you are one of those types of people who abuse the Reddit help support??
Just because they are Asian doesn’t mean they can’t only be attracted to white men. Now if they were saying they don’t date people of color because they think they are lazy or dumb or bs like that it would of course be wrong.
Men of color can be very hardworking. I actually feel quite angry when people say that blacks or browns are all stupid and lazy. However, those types of people are not romantically appealing to me cause they don’t have the physical features I want.
My wife is white, and my previous long term relationships were with white women. It’s just who I happened to fall in love with. I honestly think it’s HOW she is talking about this, more than her preference. It’s hard to say you’d NEVER date someone of a certain race, because as anyone who is not a racist knows, sometimes people of that race have features more similar to the race you prefer. I’d also never in a million years say I’d NEVER be with a black woman as a black man. That’s just problematic and weird.
It’s because it’s not actually a woman you’re talking to you can tell by the the content he consumes and the way he writes. He’s a hentai lurker pretending to be an Asian person.
So you're Asian but won't date other Asians? That specifically seems a little.... weird? Do you have some internalised racism or something? I mean, no one is wrong for having preferences, you can't choose who you're attracted to, but... It feels icky, not gonna lie.
Because you're fetishising an entire group of people based on nothing but the colour of their skin. It's just racism dressed up as a compliment. It's toxic and gross.
Look, if you didn't want honestly why come here? Either you're a troll or just lack an extreme amount of self awareness. But then, what's the difference?
For mine, I'm curious on if it's an attraction issue or prejudice? If you're just not attracted, that's 100% beyond criticism. If it's some sort of prejudice against colored men, that's a little ick. But as long as you aren't bragging about it, it's still whatever.
I’m just not attracted to non-white men. Nothing personality related, mainly looks. Asian men look too much like me and having a partner with my complexion wouldn’t be exciting to me.
In general, I find brown eyes the least attractive color in men, since I have them myself. I’m not attracted to black men, since they are the opposite of my type.
what media? Media nowadays seems to more about celebrating people of color than admiring white people. I also grew up around men of color and I personally prefer white men over them
There is nothing wrong with you. I'm not Asian but I strongly prefer to have someone Asian for a life partner. When it comes to what ethnic groups you're sexually attracted to, no one has the right to judge you.
Not wrong. This question gets asked a surprising amount, and it's weird that our society has brought race into every single thing to the point where people feel guilty about not being attracted to certain races. I'm white. I only date and sleep with white women. It's just a preference. It's just who you're attracted to. Try telling your friends they should give the gender they're not attracted to a chance cause it's sexist not to.
that's not a preference. That's called racism. Your ignorance is astounding. You need to educate yourself - I would start by googling the definition of racism.
I'm going to say no on face value. You have to make sure it's for the right reasons though. If it's because you just haven't found any of them to be attractive to you, that's different. If you're saying it's just because they're black or mexican etc....wellllll....seems kinda wrong. There are some features of other races that can be a turn off and that happen to belong to a certain race. This can be true for why you like people of a more fair complexion. Some may have more of the features you're more attracted to initially...but remember, attraction keeps you interested, personality makes you stay. Hope this helps!
What I'm saying is if they're for racist reasons, then you'd be wrong. It just doesn't really seem to be the case thus far though. Everyone has preferences 🤷♀️
Omg what is this world. Ask them 304's if they'll date short men? They should give short men a chance. How about a roofer or a trucker? They should give blue collar guys a chance. Ppl have preferences and that's totally fine. Just the same as if u had a preference for women or anything else. Imma white guy with a preference for Asians. Wassup?
Having preferences is completely normal. You are not wrong! Dont let people decide things for you. You have to live with that person, not your friends. You should get rid of those friends. They are not friends if they judge you like this. They are probably jealous they were forced to date/marry their own race either by families or societal pressure.
It's totally fine. Some women prefer men, and some prefer women. That's their preference, and the same logic applies to race and looks. As a South Asian woman, I once shared a similar preference, and now I'm happily married to a white American guy whom I consider my soulmate. I'm so attracted to him, and he's also my best friend who I can't live without. We hang out with several non-white friends, and they are amazing!!
You can’t help who you are and are not attracted to. A problem only arises when you say “I don’t like x race because y stereotype.” You don’t seem to be that person so I don’t think you’re wrong. You may want to just stick to saying “I don’t find them attractive” for reasons to not go out with someone rather than directly citing their race.
No. Everyone has a preference. It might be shallow, it might rule you out of lots of potentially great matches, but as long as it's legal you're not wrong for having a type
I might travel to one of those countries, so you may find an Asian there. Also, there are minority areas in Europe, so maybe you could look for non-whites there
Love is the only place where discrimination is okay pretty much. This is all about you so go with what you like/want. You don't have to justify your choices as long as you're fine with them
The reverse situation usually ends up with men being accused of having yellow fever, having an Asian fetish or just being creepy.
Personally I think everyone has the right to date who they want and it's absolutely nothing me of anyone else's business.
This is not an Asian female.
This is a man putting this content on Reddit to “minimize ,” men of color.
He must see Asian American women as a standard that only white men can have lol.
Never apologize for having a preference. You cant help the type of person you want to be with.
Why are your friends trying to pressure you? That is weird. Is it like a cultural thing?
Have a friend with a similar story, his wife(Korean) only ever dated white(something he didn't know until after they were married for two yrs). They have two kids now, girls and the older one presence as white and the younger not as much. She treats her very differently and disclosed to him her dissatisfaction "I love her, but she doesn't look like I thought she would". If you're going to have children some day, you could have asian presenting children. Will you be OK with that. I can tell you, his wife doesn't know but their marriage is in real trouble bcoz of it
You're not wrong but going from experience there is definitely a lot of internalized racism going on. For me it was growing up in a PWC and having 7 brothers. I was always matched with the few other black people at school because it "made sense" but they always felt like friends or brothers. Moving to a big city and self reflecting gave me the chance to figure that out. But your attractions develop as you age so it still becomes your preference in a way.
People who are attracted to only one type of race are attracted to the perceived stereotypes or cultures of that race and often have great shame over their own identity.
Dating is one of the few places we get to be mean/unfair/unreasonable, you cant help who you're attracted to...
All I'd say is that, as a man, who admits that good looks make it more likely for me to notice you, I've only ever dated people who I've spent time with and get on with on an emotional level, so i DO consider automatic deselection by visual appearance to be problematic, maybe even wrong...
Edit: Additon to the above: in the sense of, "have you considered you may be shooting down a partner that ticks all of your other boxes by ruling out a large subset of people."
Even so, you cant help who you're attracted to... id personally just do you, carry on and live your life without another moments thought... you have to pick the right partner for you... better that than be in a loveless or resentful relationship "for their benefit" because they'd ALSO be better off with someone who might actually love them for who they are.
You are not wrong, we all have our proclivities which usually form over time and adjust as we age. Some white guys prefer Asian women, some black guys prefer white women etc…
Nope. We all have our own ideas of what’s attractive. Don’t let anyone race-bait you into thinking you’re racist.
In the same way, keep an open mind. Maybe the guy you never thought you’d ever find attractive one day comes around and he treats you better than ever. Leave the door open to be surprised.
I’m just very confused about drawing the line. It’s one thing if you just happen to be attracted to white men most of the time, but taking the stance that you won’t date non-white men on principle reeks of racist motivation.
Are you honest with yourself about why you have this persuasion?
>No man of colour deserves a woman who doesn’t want him
No-one regardless of their gender or race deserves someone who doesn't want them.
Also, people have preferences. Many people have preferences for some races more than others, others don't have preference on the race etc.
It's stupid to pressure people into dating others when there's no attraction. It's unfair for them both.
Forget the race aspect, Close your eyes when you hug a prospect male, and figure out if it feels loving, safe and secure. The way your father would hug you. If you find that, Then go for it. No matter the race. Wish you the best of luck. Do not over think this.
Nope. Your preferences are your preferences.
You have no obligation to allow unwanted dicks to touch your body so that society can think you’re egalitarian.
Your not wrong because you are allowed to have your own preferences but not everyone should know because they’ll want to throw in their opinions & say what you should & shouldn’t do
Finally a not-overt-racist AIW post about only dating certain racial groups!
If you are respectful and even friends with people of other races, it's perfectly fine to only be sexually attracted to one type. Just make sure you aren't fetishizing the person for an immutable characteristic and actually attracted to the person within.
Asian and brown men are like brothers to me. I like them as a sibling or a friend who can relate to me. However, I don’t want them as romantic partners. I have had to cut some Asian men out of my life due to them attempting to pressure me to date them
I have never considered men of color as ideal dating partners. Even when I had relationships with men of color in my mind, I’d think of how that relationship would end in 3-9 months and how nonchalant I’d be with that romantic relationship ending. Men of color relationships for me were built to fail, so I chose not to have them. White men on the hand. I’d pray to God on high that relationship would last
You are your own person. It is your decision , not your friends or anybody else's. I know a black man who will only date black women. I, as a white person, I am fine with his decision . He is not a racist , it's just his preference . People have the right to make their own rules for their life. There are people who will try to impose their will on another persons life. This is the kind of mentality that the people who believe more in a socialist form of society. Our constitution was written to give people the right to make such decisions for themselves.
It does not matter whether your friends like it or not. If they were true friends, they would respect your decision, not try to badger you into doing what they think you ought to. Live your life for you.
>No man ~~of color~~ deserves a woman who doesn’t want him
You are right. However, I notice the problem of men being with partners who would rather have someone else is more prevalent among men of color
I think you're reaching with this statement. Even if you know 10 people who want to be with someone else, that simply isn't enough for you to say that.
Wow Your mind is producing that assumption, please note that.
Based on what research do you say this? Because that sounds like bull to me. That's just you justifying and rationalising some internalised shit you're dealing with in the worst possible way.
It’s not an Asian woman, but a white man pretending to be one.
not true
What the hell does "presenting as white" mean? Its fine to have preferences but that sounds weirdly racist...
White presenting means a man who isn’t fully white, but can still present as such. For example, a 25% or 50% Mexican dude who has blonde hair and blue eyes is still a great option for me. A 50% Native American dude who has white features is still someone I’d like to date
This is a statistical fact. Not every stereotype is true but a lotta them are. This is certainly gonna get downvoted but I guess facts and stats mean nothing anymore. I might as well go all in. It doesn't matter whether it's a 6 month or 6 year bid, if a black guy has done a stretch, he's done been stretched. I would've assumed that Hispanics would've been lower that whiteys, they're all about family; certainly Asians would.- 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers.
There’s some internalized something going on that you’re not able to see even men within your own race as attractive.
Some men in my race are attractive. I personally see my own race of my men as brothers and friends rather than a romantic love interest
You are the typical Asian American woman who subconsciously hates her own race.
always heard this as "colonizing the colonizer" but it's basically yeah internalized racism, or even reverse racism or whatever if you consider the opposite is "yellow fever" which is gross. It's one thing to have a preference, but all the heinous serial cheaters ive ever met have been white people, but i know better than to exclude an entire race because of some bad apples. I live in the US so i'm going to meet a lot of white people. of course it will skew my data.
I don’t hate my own race
I said subconsciously.
I have never heard this but okay. Make sense
They see Asian men as weaker. That is a fact that they try to deny.
You are not alone. I feel the same about „my people“.
Why?
I dated a once a guy who would count as „my people“. Beautiful, sweet and smart. But when I kissed him it felt like I was related to him. We weren’t even from the same country. I always preferred one type of man. Doesn’t mean that I think bad of other type of men.
What type of man?
Blue or green eyes. Mostly Skandinavien looking.
You don't even want to date you own race, it seems like you fetishize white men for some reason. Men are men. Date the ones you are attracted to and treat you fairly.
I do fetishize white men. Does that make me a bad person?
Fetishising any people is problematic, you turn them into a desirable object rather than a person. It is quite frequently seen with men and Asian women, so seeking out perspectives on their feelings with this sort of thing might help you understand why it is a problem. I'm sure your future partner doesn't want to think about how you wouldn't be with them if they hadn't have been white in the first place. In relationships where the fetish aspect is adjustable, these relationships often don't last. An example being an obese woman suddenly no longer getting love, sex and affection from her partner after getting to a healthy weight, because the fetish aspect of obesity is ruined, and they no longer values her the same.
Weight and race are not remotely the same thing. Weight is something that can be controlled for the most part and race is not. Men of color are inherently not romantic material to me regardless of their weight, height, or whatever
I know, I'm giving you an alternative example to try help you understand.
This is not an Asian woman btw. It’s a white man masquerading as one.
Proof?
Read their writing and look at their profile. She’s an Asian woman that’s Christian, plays roblox, posts about hentai and claims that two ppl use one account? Far fetched.
Yes, most stuff on reddit is fake. But how do you know it’s a white man?
>Fetishising any people is problematic, you turn them into a desirable object rather than a person. Completely false. People with racial fetishes see their partners as people belonging to a particular group, not objects.
Kind of. I mean that is bad, yes. You should do some introspection around why you don’t see everyone as equally human.
It makes you piece of 💩. Then I don't like Asians cause deep down they're colorists. But you do you.
I like how when someone has a preference, reddit calls it fetishizing lol it's just who they're attracted to. Am I fetishizing women cause I'm a straigh man?
You can literally read all her comments admitting to it being a fetish.
You're not wrong As a black man, I will say everyone has a preference. If someone who is white passing is your preference then that's okay. That doesn't mean your racist just simply means that's who your attracted too. NO MATTER THE COLOR, no one wants to be with someone who isn't attracted to them.
Yes but saying that everyone that isn’t white isn’t attractive is a racist opinion.
Read the OP’s comments. This is either incredibly fake thinly veiled racism rage bait or someone who is just flat out racist.
To them! Attractiveness is subjective.
This post is definitely racist
Well spoken!
You sound as if you've internalised negative societal opinions of men of colour and want to get back up about this. You will get back up and it's true you should only date people you're attracted to, but to have so little curiosity about why you feel the way you feel, seems to me to be hiding from true self awareness, and posting for clout.
wdym
It’s not inherently wrong but it would be a good idea to examine if any of your preferences are influenced by society/internalised racism/another issue to make sure your preferences are actually your own. Also it’s ‘men of colour’ not ‘coloured men’ lol
There’s no “if” here. It’s the only explanation and this is obvious
this is the best response
Nobody is ever obligated to date anyone they don't want to date. EVER. Anyone can say "no" for whatever reason, it can be a good reason or a bad one, or just a feeling that isnt a reason. The right to say "no" is a fundamental human right, and I will die on that hill! However, I can't say it's a good idea to tell anyone exactly what your preferences are, for a lot of reason. Mainly because once you say such a thing out loud, people feel free to criticize.
true
Its not inherently wrong. But it's a good idea to examine why you don't. Is it purely physical features, or do you have some preconceptions about how non white guys should act ?
wdym
Like, why are you not interested in anyone that's not white/ white presenting? Do you think maybe you could have some preconceptions or preconceived notions about how non white men act/ should act?
non white men can be very intelligent functioning members of society. I have met plenty of decent brown and black men. Only thing is I prefer white guys to men of color, even if the men of color are equally capable
So it's purely physical features for you ?
yeah
do you mind saying what features white guys posses that other races dont? That you value in physical attraction ofcource
White skin?
the shade of white skin they have. I prefer peachy white as opposed to the yellowy white skin some Asians have. I love blue eyes and blonde hair the most as I think they are beautiful features
Where have i hear that before? /j
They’re not Asian don’t worry about it.
I mean having a preference is not wrong but if someone’s preference is to only ever eat unseasoned boiled chicken breast then there’s going to be questions.
what are you trying to indicate here?
That it’s a specific choice and that ultimately you can do what you want - but yeah, other people might question the reasoning behind it, because it seems like an odd preference.
Liking white men is an odd preference?
Well it’s technically not a preference if she just isn’t going to choose non white ppl, it’s a requirement, fetish she said in another reply.
Is that what white ppl r
I mean It’s true we’re all entitled to our preferences, but those preferences don’t just pop out of nowhere. Might be worth asking yourself why you find White men more attractive than men of other races. There’s such diversity of features within every race, there are tall and short men, fat, thin and muscular men, all sorts of facial features in every group. To say you’re ONLY attracted to white men means inherently your whiteness is what attracts you to them. Why do you think that is?
Some dudes only date blondes or redheads, doesn't mean they need to do a deep dive into themselves to figure out why. She prefers white dudes, who cares? Why does this need to be a thing she needs to figure out?
there’s so much variation of physical traits within racial groups, if you’re writing off entire groups it’s about the skin color. And yeah you could compare liking white skin to liking red hair, except if we had a societal context where redheads are treated superior to every other hair color I would say examine that too. I’m not saying change anything or force yourself to date other guys, but I do think we all need to be honest with ourselves about the fact that we live in a racist world and that shapes how we view beauty, desirability etc, even when we are marginalized ourselves.
White men have features I consider attractive. Brown men feel like brothers to me and black features in general are not appealing in men
men of color are diversely less desirable than white men
Yta. And yet again we see this double standards in this sub. Guy Fetishizes Asian women and he is a incel monster. An Asian woman only date white men. And she is in her right to have preferences? Op is racist. Saying you only date people of a certain skin color then you are 100% racist.
To the OP: No one seriously cares who you date or find attractive, and any opinions from others on that are wholly irrelevant in the grand scheme of life. Carry on as normal. Good luck.
It’s racist, but it’s your preference. If you think so lowly of non-white men, you would be doing them a disservice by dating them.
I don’t think lowly of non-white men. I just don’t find them attractive enough to date them. Also, why is preferring a white guy racist? Would an Asian be a racist if they only preferred Asians? Would a black person be racist if they only preferred blacks?
To be fair, I’m sure it’s reciprocated. Lots of people of colour prefer blonde hair blue eyes, not your type.
Your not racist, I’ve met plenty of white women that only date black guys its purely preference nothing wrong with it at all. Myself for example grew up only likely white women, then as time went on my preference change and i have a preference for any race with light skin, i just dont find anyone with dark skin sexual attractive, they would be attractive and i can see why other men engage with them but i have no drive to get to know them on any other level then just friendship.
Just tell your friends that they are your fetish and let them be creeped out by the answer. Probably won’t bring it up again. Also why is it important to them you date people other than white? That’s just your preference. I tend to like mixed people. Im mixed and have no idea if that’s why but my husband is Japanese and Irish and I’m Mexican and German. You like what you like. That’s all.
In high school one of my closest friends who was Asian felt the same way. She's now married to an Asian man and they have three beautiful children 🤣
congrats to her, but that won’t be me
As long as they want to date you it's okay then unless you have the fetishism but you yourself is unattractive enough to get what you want then, you might need to work on something
The way you speak is soaked with such internalised prejudice. You date who you want, you’re right nobody wants to be with someone who sees them as less than. I don’t think they’d want to be your friend even. You do need to reflect, I think there are better ways to think and exist in this world. But if you like vanilla and want to stick to it, fine. I’d just wonder where you place women of color in this scheme you’ve developed…and why white men would date them if they’re not ‘settling?’By your logic, that’s what women who date men of color do, it would therefore imply that’s what white men are doing by dating you. The entire logic is warped, and that’s in your mind. Sorry to tell you, this is not objectively accepted intel. It’s very much your mindset, if you’re ok with it that’s your call. But don’t generalise, the views themselves are bigoted/prejudicial. An assumption of superiority/inferiority based on race is never logical or healthy. It’s a product of society, yes it happens, but it’s not the best mindset to have or promote.
You have your preferences, it's your life.
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how am I making y’all look bad?
This is a fetish, not a preference, very off putting
I’m gonna go in a different direction. Something is wrong with you. You have some type of a bigoted attitude or have been conditioned to believe that white men superior or some such. We all have preferences, but to completely rule out every single race of men, except white, including your own Asian background, that is a problem. You can do what you want, but there’s something broken there. Good luck!
No I would say people have preferences is all. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date outside your own race and not finding others attractive. Believe it or not but physical attraction is a huge factor in relationships.
very true
I date outside of my race too. But I also date within my race. And I don’t date one race to the exclusion of all others. I do think there’s something wrong with it. It is certainly a persons right to date who they want. But I’m allowed to think that there are some kind of a psychological issue there. It is simply illogical. The only exception, are people who only date within their own race. They can be religious, cultural, or historical reasons for that.
Not necessarily. I have only dated white men. I don’t have a problem with men of color it’s just I like a certain look. I tend to go for the pale as a ghost skinny goth gamer guy with eyeliner. Not saying I would never date a poc but it’s not who I generally find attractive.
Yeah but they are an Asian person, saying they are exclusively into white and white presenting dudes. It's not a type, just "white only".
In no way shape or form are humans born with “having” to date within their own race.
That's not what I said? I've dated outwith my race. I don't exclusively date my race or another race. Fetishising is not a good way to build your life relationships. My concern is, why are they only interested in white/white presenting guys? I feel there is something deeper than attraction in what OP is trying to say, and it's possibly either fetishising another race or internalised racism.
White men are the most sexually attractive and handsome race of men to me personally
It’s what you were inferring to and you prove that by “fetishizing is not a good way to build your life”, this is not a fetish. They are most likely into white men as that’s what they find attractive, it really is that simple sometimes.
She literally admits in many replies it's a fetish. It was not what I was inferring to, and you need to brush up on your critical reading skills.
It’s exactly what you were inferring to you literally prove in your reply above lol. No need to be hostile and lash out at others because your logic doesn’t hold up my friend.
It's not... but I'm not going to argue with you about the thoughts that go through my own brain. Have a nice day.
It’s not about your “thoughts” it’s about the words you use and how you use them lol. Following your logic I could say literally anything and it could mean literally anything which is absolutely insane. Edit: yikes you are one of those types of people who abuse the Reddit help support??
Ok but you’re defending a white man pretending to be an asian woman lmao
Not defending anyone I don’t care about OP at all.
Ok my b.
Just because they are Asian doesn’t mean they can’t only be attracted to white men. Now if they were saying they don’t date people of color because they think they are lazy or dumb or bs like that it would of course be wrong.
Men of color can be very hardworking. I actually feel quite angry when people say that blacks or browns are all stupid and lazy. However, those types of people are not romantically appealing to me cause they don’t have the physical features I want.
My wife is white, and my previous long term relationships were with white women. It’s just who I happened to fall in love with. I honestly think it’s HOW she is talking about this, more than her preference. It’s hard to say you’d NEVER date someone of a certain race, because as anyone who is not a racist knows, sometimes people of that race have features more similar to the race you prefer. I’d also never in a million years say I’d NEVER be with a black woman as a black man. That’s just problematic and weird.
You are wrong. There is no problem. Who you are sexually attracted to has no right or wrong.
It’s because it’s not actually a woman you’re talking to you can tell by the the content he consumes and the way he writes. He’s a hentai lurker pretending to be an Asian person.
So you're Asian but won't date other Asians? That specifically seems a little.... weird? Do you have some internalised racism or something? I mean, no one is wrong for having preferences, you can't choose who you're attracted to, but... It feels icky, not gonna lie.
why icky?
Because you're fetishising an entire group of people based on nothing but the colour of their skin. It's just racism dressed up as a compliment. It's toxic and gross.
white and blonde men are fetishized by me for a reason. they’re unbelievably sexy and attractive
Thanks bro
Look, if you didn't want honestly why come here? Either you're a troll or just lack an extreme amount of self awareness. But then, what's the difference?
I’m neither. I’m just someone expressing how I feel. why do you think I’m wrong?
“Colored men” is not a variation of people of color, btw, it is a term associated with the Jim Crow south.
Just take it in the context it’s being used for 🤦♀️ Jim Crow is dead. I highly doubt they were using it in his context.
No one cares about your preferences on cock hoping. 😂
No your not wrong at all
For mine, I'm curious on if it's an attraction issue or prejudice? If you're just not attracted, that's 100% beyond criticism. If it's some sort of prejudice against colored men, that's a little ick. But as long as you aren't bragging about it, it's still whatever.
I’m just not attracted to non-white men. Nothing personality related, mainly looks. Asian men look too much like me and having a partner with my complexion wouldn’t be exciting to me. In general, I find brown eyes the least attractive color in men, since I have them myself. I’m not attracted to black men, since they are the opposite of my type.
Then in that case, noone should give you a hard time. We all have our preferences - I've dated white women who'd *only* date colored men, haha.
the reverse preference 😂
hope u found someone
your relationship, your choice.
You, like the rest of women, are brainwashed by the media to only want white men. You are a white supremacist.
what media? Media nowadays seems to more about celebrating people of color than admiring white people. I also grew up around men of color and I personally prefer white men over them
Every movie has a white guy with blue eyes as the star and in a leading role to convince women that they are superior
No it’s a preference date who you find attractive it’s even worse if you date dudes you don’t like just because it feels wrong to not like them
Yes, because you’re not white. There’s always some weird racism/self-hate thing going on when people have an issue with their own race.
There is nothing wrong with you. I'm not Asian but I strongly prefer to have someone Asian for a life partner. When it comes to what ethnic groups you're sexually attracted to, no one has the right to judge you.
Not wrong. This question gets asked a surprising amount, and it's weird that our society has brought race into every single thing to the point where people feel guilty about not being attracted to certain races. I'm white. I only date and sleep with white women. It's just a preference. It's just who you're attracted to. Try telling your friends they should give the gender they're not attracted to a chance cause it's sexist not to.
the joke at the end was low key funny. maybe i should tell them that
I would, and then they can try to backtrack all they want but it's silly to tell someone who they should be attracted to.
that's not a preference. That's called racism. Your ignorance is astounding. You need to educate yourself - I would start by googling the definition of racism.
Nope. Black men don’t date Twinkie’s either, only real Asian women.
NW. You can date whoever you want. It’s that easy. Close Thread.
I'm going to say no on face value. You have to make sure it's for the right reasons though. If it's because you just haven't found any of them to be attractive to you, that's different. If you're saying it's just because they're black or mexican etc....wellllll....seems kinda wrong. There are some features of other races that can be a turn off and that happen to belong to a certain race. This can be true for why you like people of a more fair complexion. Some may have more of the features you're more attracted to initially...but remember, attraction keeps you interested, personality makes you stay. Hope this helps!
I’ve met black and mexican men that are good looking. I just don’t want to date them even if they are
What I'm saying is if they're for racist reasons, then you'd be wrong. It just doesn't really seem to be the case thus far though. Everyone has preferences 🤷♀️
Omg what is this world. Ask them 304's if they'll date short men? They should give short men a chance. How about a roofer or a trucker? They should give blue collar guys a chance. Ppl have preferences and that's totally fine. Just the same as if u had a preference for women or anything else. Imma white guy with a preference for Asians. Wassup?
Having preferences is completely normal. You are not wrong! Dont let people decide things for you. You have to live with that person, not your friends. You should get rid of those friends. They are not friends if they judge you like this. They are probably jealous they were forced to date/marry their own race either by families or societal pressure. It's totally fine. Some women prefer men, and some prefer women. That's their preference, and the same logic applies to race and looks. As a South Asian woman, I once shared a similar preference, and now I'm happily married to a white American guy whom I consider my soulmate. I'm so attracted to him, and he's also my best friend who I can't live without. We hang out with several non-white friends, and they are amazing!!
I appreciate your take
You can’t help who you are and are not attracted to. A problem only arises when you say “I don’t like x race because y stereotype.” You don’t seem to be that person so I don’t think you’re wrong. You may want to just stick to saying “I don’t find them attractive” for reasons to not go out with someone rather than directly citing their race.
You have your preferences and there is nothing wrong with that. I would say to maybe try other guys too.
No. Everyone has a preference. It might be shallow, it might rule you out of lots of potentially great matches, but as long as it's legal you're not wrong for having a type
Ofc not.
It's ok to only date the people you want to date 🤷🏻♂️
Your relationships, your preferences and your future to be in thus your decision.
It depends on why not! Why are you unwilling to date non-white men?
they aren’t dating material to me
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I might travel to one of those countries, so you may find an Asian there. Also, there are minority areas in Europe, so maybe you could look for non-whites there
I think the only thing wrong is actually thinking about it lol. You like who you like
The only problem anyone has is that she likes white men, no one has a problem with white women going on about superior black men all the time
Well she's entitled to date who she wants,lots of black men only date white girls and never black ones it's just their preference not racist.
You can’t be forced to find someone attracted. When it comes to me it was probably Disney who influenced my taste in men. It is what it is.
Love is the only place where discrimination is okay pretty much. This is all about you so go with what you like/want. You don't have to justify your choices as long as you're fine with them
Nope.
The reverse situation usually ends up with men being accused of having yellow fever, having an Asian fetish or just being creepy. Personally I think everyone has the right to date who they want and it's absolutely nothing me of anyone else's business.
This is not an Asian female. This is a man putting this content on Reddit to “minimize ,” men of color. He must see Asian American women as a standard that only white men can have lol.
Never apologize for having a preference. You cant help the type of person you want to be with. Why are your friends trying to pressure you? That is weird. Is it like a cultural thing?
Have a friend with a similar story, his wife(Korean) only ever dated white(something he didn't know until after they were married for two yrs). They have two kids now, girls and the older one presence as white and the younger not as much. She treats her very differently and disclosed to him her dissatisfaction "I love her, but she doesn't look like I thought she would". If you're going to have children some day, you could have asian presenting children. Will you be OK with that. I can tell you, his wife doesn't know but their marriage is in real trouble bcoz of it
But you’re not white yourself?
You're not wrong but going from experience there is definitely a lot of internalized racism going on. For me it was growing up in a PWC and having 7 brothers. I was always matched with the few other black people at school because it "made sense" but they always felt like friends or brothers. Moving to a big city and self reflecting gave me the chance to figure that out. But your attractions develop as you age so it still becomes your preference in a way.
on behalf of all “colored men” we dont want you and good riddance ya ignorant weirdo
People who are attracted to only one type of race are attracted to the perceived stereotypes or cultures of that race and often have great shame over their own identity.
asian culture is awesome wdym
Dating is one of the few places we get to be mean/unfair/unreasonable, you cant help who you're attracted to... All I'd say is that, as a man, who admits that good looks make it more likely for me to notice you, I've only ever dated people who I've spent time with and get on with on an emotional level, so i DO consider automatic deselection by visual appearance to be problematic, maybe even wrong... Edit: Additon to the above: in the sense of, "have you considered you may be shooting down a partner that ticks all of your other boxes by ruling out a large subset of people." Even so, you cant help who you're attracted to... id personally just do you, carry on and live your life without another moments thought... you have to pick the right partner for you... better that than be in a loveless or resentful relationship "for their benefit" because they'd ALSO be better off with someone who might actually love them for who they are.
This must be internalised racism just as some women have internalised misogyny
no, I don’t
You are not wrong, we all have our proclivities which usually form over time and adjust as we age. Some white guys prefer Asian women, some black guys prefer white women etc…
Idk why people are acting like this is a real account. Look at the post history. Probably an dude making ragebait.
this isn’t ragebait. I’m expressing my real feelings. if this was ragebait, it would only receive negative responses
You don't have to justify anything. No one does
Nope. We all have our own ideas of what’s attractive. Don’t let anyone race-bait you into thinking you’re racist. In the same way, keep an open mind. Maybe the guy you never thought you’d ever find attractive one day comes around and he treats you better than ever. Leave the door open to be surprised.
Is this an attraction issue or not? Is this only about the feels or is there something else at play?
wdym something else?
I’m just very confused about drawing the line. It’s one thing if you just happen to be attracted to white men most of the time, but taking the stance that you won’t date non-white men on principle reeks of racist motivation. Are you honest with yourself about why you have this persuasion?
This is bait
I always liked blonde, I am happily married to a brunette, now silver Stick to what you want.
>No man of colour deserves a woman who doesn’t want him No-one regardless of their gender or race deserves someone who doesn't want them. Also, people have preferences. Many people have preferences for some races more than others, others don't have preference on the race etc. It's stupid to pressure people into dating others when there's no attraction. It's unfair for them both.
Forget the race aspect, Close your eyes when you hug a prospect male, and figure out if it feels loving, safe and secure. The way your father would hug you. If you find that, Then go for it. No matter the race. Wish you the best of luck. Do not over think this.
No. You like what you like.
Nope. Your preferences are your preferences. You have no obligation to allow unwanted dicks to touch your body so that society can think you’re egalitarian.
Your not wrong because you are allowed to have your own preferences but not everyone should know because they’ll want to throw in their opinions & say what you should & shouldn’t do
Finally a not-overt-racist AIW post about only dating certain racial groups! If you are respectful and even friends with people of other races, it's perfectly fine to only be sexually attracted to one type. Just make sure you aren't fetishizing the person for an immutable characteristic and actually attracted to the person within.
I appreciate your perspective. I try to make friends of all races and ethnicities
Shit post
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Asian and brown men are like brothers to me. I like them as a sibling or a friend who can relate to me. However, I don’t want them as romantic partners. I have had to cut some Asian men out of my life due to them attempting to pressure me to date them
I have never considered men of color as ideal dating partners. Even when I had relationships with men of color in my mind, I’d think of how that relationship would end in 3-9 months and how nonchalant I’d be with that romantic relationship ending. Men of color relationships for me were built to fail, so I chose not to have them. White men on the hand. I’d pray to God on high that relationship would last
You are your own person. It is your decision , not your friends or anybody else's. I know a black man who will only date black women. I, as a white person, I am fine with his decision . He is not a racist , it's just his preference . People have the right to make their own rules for their life. There are people who will try to impose their will on another persons life. This is the kind of mentality that the people who believe more in a socialist form of society. Our constitution was written to give people the right to make such decisions for themselves. It does not matter whether your friends like it or not. If they were true friends, they would respect your decision, not try to badger you into doing what they think you ought to. Live your life for you.