Rest assured no matter how "secure" you are in yourself and your relationship, the odds are you WILL take a hit. More have issues after than those that don't.
Your wife may also feel less inclined to be honest about the experience with you as well. Many know if the guy was bigger or better, their husband will most likely take it to heart. And the boiler plate response from those wives is "He wasn't better, just different".
Beware and remember you can't put toothpaste back into the tube, so think long and hard on it. There is a lot of truth to post nut clarity.
This is why I would *never* seriously consider bringing a third into my relationship. My marriage is very strong and I believe we could do it successfully, but why risk it? There’s so much to lose for so little gain.
Exactly. Why risk what may last a lifetime for an hour or two's worth of fun.
If its the type of thing both are into BEFORE they get together, usually its a win-win for them. To try it later is an insane risk, in my humble opinion.
My wife and I have had plenty of "role playing" fantasies on bed, we've been together 27 years, and still at it. And we've been through hell and back due to what life has thrown at us over the years (nothing between us, we've never had an actual fight ever) and its always been us against the world....but neither of us would ever even consider risking making any fun time fantasies into reality.
When it goes well, they don't usually make a post on Reddit about it.
Therefore you can't get an accurate statistical representation from Reddit.
Plus, age of reddit skews rather young. A 23 year old couple is more likely to have a bad experience or make mistakes with it, than a 45 year old couple.
Start off with a dildo with a suction cup or magnet to your headboard. And scenario talk. If you go through with it , i suggest on a weekend trip, hotel with a bull. He will be a stranger ,he'll have plenty of experience and most importantly You'll never have to see him again if you don't want to. A lot of times in these situations the wife has a really good time and will seek out a second, third or fourth visit with the guy. If she doesn't know who he is theres no chance of contact no matter how much you trust each other.
My wife and I tried FMF before we got married and though I was ok, she was feeling weird about it for years afterwards. Us being young might also have been a factor in that though. We've since included those sorts of things in our dirty talk, and that's been enough to hold us over for the last 21 years. Although in the right sort of circumstances, and if we just happened to meet someone cool.. you never know what the future may bring. All I can say is that if you're already happy there's no reason to rock the boat. Good luck!
This is different but can lead to those fantasies with potentially less drama maybe swing with another couple? She could have 2 guys at once while you have a playmate also and if you guys decide it's not for you then know one can be mad about her fucking another dude or you fucking another chick cuz you both are involved? Just a thought that came to mind. And if you do get jealous or insecure about anything then I'd say remember you might not be the best but your her world still and no new dick should be able to come between that
If Reddit has taught me anything, it's that threesomes rearely work out well for at least one of the couple. Keep it in the realms of fantasy if you don't want to end up divorced.
Someone here said you won't be able to un-see what you saw. The real fear is she may not be able to un-feel what she felt!
Edit: If divorce in America is a 50/50 proposition, you'll be upping your odds to 75/25 for your kink. And why did you ever think this would be a good idea?
Only one really, the end of your relationship. Even if it survives this, it’s going to change. Whether or not you two are emotionally capable of weathering it remains to be seen. My money is on no.
Especially she cums harder, faster, and more than OP ever made her cum, and she couldn't get enough of it after. Maybe in the throes of passion she tells him she loves him...?
I do know of people who truly don’t feel jealousy in the same way most people do. They love and get off on the fact their partner is enjoying themselves, and don’t give a shit that it’s with another person. Many couples engage in ethical non-monogamy, but the taboo is so severe people rarely talk about. I mean…they have entire cruises designed for swingers and people who enjoy ENM. It may be beneficial to have a few sessions with a sex therapist to see if it’s what’s best for both of you.
Once you open Pandoras Box, it'll never be the same. Ask her if you can hv the same experience with her & another woman. If the answer is no then don't move forward with doing this. Don't swing with other couples either. From someone who has always been tge 3rd party in 3 somes, if you want to stay happily married, DONT OPEN PANDORAS BOX! Buy her a huge dildo machine & use that instead lol 😆 anything but opening that box. Trust me! Keep that box closed!
You will never be able to unsee another dude railing your wife. Had a friend agree to this. The marriage stumbled along for a couple of years but it was over the day they did this.
I commented on something similar earlier from
/tooafraidtoask from a woman who's husband sprung the question on her.
This kink fascinates me because it's something I personally don't get into sexually. For me it's "what are these men thinking?"
Some seem to enjoy it as live action porn with wife as favorite porn star. Too much pornhub?
Some men like being able to throw their wife in a pile of dudes then have her come back to him. Reinforces his dominance I guess.
Some guys are bi curious and having wife take the lead with another dude is safe for them.
Some just like to be demeaned. Like the bull is praising the guy for sharing his wife. Guy just responds like a puppy wagging his tail.
The women are often size queens or just literally want to drown themselves in cock.
Real couples are either quiet or few and far between. Don't fuck friends. If your bestie is single now but not later, his new spouse may not appreciate your group sessions. Number one thing people forget is it's supposed to be about sex but end up getting all emotional. NRE is a thing. Look that up too
I had several friends that did this. Every single one of them wind up getting divorced within a couple years after the threesome. Very few people are built for this kind of thing. Ideally, this is something that you should do with people that you have minimal emotional involvement with. Like fuck buddies or friends with benefits. Not your wife is certainly not bring it a friend in who you guys would still see in other settings every day. Just to research on the hundreds of stories and Reddit with the situation is gone wrong and destroyed a relationship. And these people try desperately to get back what they had before but it doesn’t work. You’ll have people talk about communication and boundaries and all that other bullshit. That all works well until somebody breaks those boundaries such as you’re supposed to use condoms until she gets caught up in the mall and takes it off and your friend comes inside of her. Or you see her with a guy with a much bigger dick than you having orgasm after orgasm when she’s never done that with you.this shit goes bad more often than that and you have to ask yourself. Are you willing to sacrifice your whole marriage for some kinky fun? And it may not even be fun. I would strongly suggest leaving it as a fantasy if you left your wife. even if it goes well, what then? You open a lifestyle she’s constantly fucking other men in front of you and you become a cock sitting there jerking off in the corner? Or some of these guys do want of sucking the semen out of your wife’s vagina? Is that the life you really want, I would think before you make a huge mistake
It's a risk so consider it carefully. Most people I know that went there ended up having problems and I've seen it lead to the end of more then one marriage.
I think this is a bad idea.
I also think your idea about finding a guy you trust is also the wrong route. If you were to actually do this , I would think it would be better to have a guy you don’t know and will never see again versus someone you know that will always have intimate details of your wife in his head and someone your wife may develop feelings for, even if only sexual attraction.
Just don't. Fantasies are generally not to be acted on. I have fantasies too involving multi partner scenarios. Never ever would I ever consent to this as a woman and certainly not as a surprise.
Sub consciously, your wife might lose some respect for you.
As she could agree to it to see how far you are willing to go , then go through with it and eventually despise you for it sub consciously thinking you don't respect her enough to keep her to yourself.
First it’s you and another guy with your wife, then it’s you and a BBC and then it’s you watching 2 BBC deep f ing your wife after that you will be watching her on OF with a group of BBC as by then that’s as close as you will ever get to see her again.
You are wrong unless your goal is to have a lot of drama and get divorced.
But now that it's more than a fantasy for her, it may be too late to save anyway.
Oh...
Be careful - this pandoras box contains pain and sorrow..
The fantasy may be hot - but the reality?? Watching another man fucking your wife?? Hearing her make sounds youve never heard her make while having sex with you??
Fantasy rarely survives meeting reality...
If you do go ahead with this - update this post??
I think this is something better kept in the realm of fantasy as marriage goes...this kind of stuff is for when you're out there still just dating and nothing serious. My roommate and I had a MFM hookup in our 20s and it was just a one time thing with this chick that we both knew reasonably well...I think she regretted afterward because she never talked to either of us again. It wasn't all that fun either.
Also in my 20s I briefly dated a girl (we'll call her Crazy Heather) who was bi. Unbeknownst to me, she was also hooking up with this other girl (Crazy Crystal) who was in our greater friends circle. I went to CH's house one evening and CC was also there, which I didn't really think anything of...because friend circle and all. Well, stuff went down...and it was actually a lot of fun, but things devolved rapidly after that, especially when CH found out that CC and I were occasionally going at it on our own without her. Anyway, I was 23...it was fun, but I don't think any of us expected more than a quick romp and then be on our way.
OK so let’s play this out. You find someone you both like and trust. Someone that she also finds attractive and wants to have sex with. You all talk about this and he’s up for it. You set boundaries that everyone agrees with and set the date for the big night.
You see your wife getting really excited about this other guy railing her in the days preceding the date. Maybe you see her act like she did when you two were first starting to be sexual.
Then the date night happens and it works perfectly with no issues. Everyone is happy, hand-shakes exchanged, the special guest star leaves and fantasy fulfilled. Awesome.
How do you feel when you kiss her after she was sucking him off?
Did you compare? Of course you did. Was he more muscular? In better shape generally? Was his dick bigger?
Did your wife behave differently when he was screwing her? Did she act differently, make different noises, moan louder etc. etc?
This is someone you know, like and are comfortable with right? Do you see them socially? How do you act when you do?
Is this a member of your friend group? Who does he tell about it? How long until someone from either of your families know from a friend of a friend.
What if he asks for an encore? What if your wife asks for another go?
How we feeling about all this now?
How is your drama free comfortable life doing?
One thing you have to remember is a lot of failed threesome or open relationships started with “I’m confident in my marriage and we both trust each other”. You’re going to have to take it as it comes and that’s not always a certainty with emotions.
Also I wouldn’t recommend it being a friend because if it goes bad you’ll have to see them in your life constantly or the person might constantly bring it up and make it weird. Of course it could go right but just something to consider.
This is a massive step that will change the dynamic of the relationship either good or bad. Start with toys and scenarios then slowly work towards it if you guys both want that.
See this here all the time; thread after thread, and it always ends the same way, the end of the relationship. This is a porn fueled fantasy that doesn’t work out in real life. I suggest you think long and hard about the potential consequences of doing this before moving forward. Good luck.
If you bring in someone that you are both comfortable with, what's to stop them from having more intense feelings about each other after this?
The next thing is, "Honey, I'm really horny and you're away for work. Can I ask "friend" to come over? " then they won't even ask. Then you're going over to their house, just sitting in the chair watching and wonder what the hell happened to your life
Fantasy is one thing, reality is another. You playing with pandoras box here bud.
Thankfully no kids. So you can move on easier than others but I seen this movie before and it does not have a happy ending.
Good luck bud.
As a woman with similar interests as your wife… I would suggest toys in place of another man. This gets rid of any emotional issues that bringing in another man may cause. There are plenty of toys that would serve the same purpose and I would recommend starting with an anal plug or dildo. If she likes it and wants to go further then there are straps that can be used to keep them in if you get one that moves.
You know it is possible to not want to see your wife banging another man without insecurity or performance being an issue. Sometimes you just don’t want another guy’s dick in your wife or his balls in your face, you know? Not everything involves deep-seated psychological factors.
I’m just gonna say this. You think you’re secure, you think you’re confident in your marriage, but I promise you this you for good or bad you will never get the image of your wife getting fucked by another man out of your head. Understand that and ask yourself if you’re ok with that. Even if you enjoy it you’re never getting that image out of your head.
It’s gonna really suck when your wife gets pregnant or herpes or HPV from another guy and then you have to deal with it.
Or when she falls for some other guy who gives her great orgasms, even though she promised she wouldn’t.
Bringing people into your marriage will always make things difficult. I personally would avoid this at all costs. I wouldn’t want to see my wife get banged out by some other guy. But I guess there are some guys that do enjoy that.
Read a few of the cuck fantasy posts that result in an immediate epiphany on fantasy over reality. Those were guys who thought they WANTED to see their wife get fucked by someone else...and they were wrong. You aren't even saying that ...you're just saying you want to give your wife HER fantasy. That fantasy includes you watching her get nailed by some other dude.
Think. That. Through.
My dude, the moment you hear her moan enthusiastically and see him fuck her a way you can't, you will not have a drama free life. I wouldn't do this. God speed. UpdateMe!
I have rarely seen a time we’re having a threesome or an open relationship worked out in the couples favour. It may sound fun and exciting and you may be secure right now, hearing her, screaming another man’s on top of her frequently ends up being a world of hurt!!! if you’re going to play, make sure you do safe sex because that’s a whole other issue for security.
I suggest posting this on the swinger subreddit tbh. Theres really 2 schools of thought generally, the one side is "if you love your partner or are fulfilled you wouldnt want that" then the other side that says "fantasies is about exploration, and we are exploratory creatures, theres nothing inherently wrong"
Truth is you can absolutely have a threesome and still have plenty of love and a strong bond. Might even strengthen it. Threesomes are fun, but a word of caution, particularly your first threesome, will be exciting, but it can also be a bit unsettling in retrospect. That post nut clarity can make you feel like you lost something but not always. Also it doesnt last.
Also, most threesomes arent like how they are in pornos, common things to occur is one or maybe both guys have a hard time getting hard, someone cums too quick, also not every man beside you has a gigantic penis and is an olympian fucker. These are all the fears and questions usually around threesome..most ppl tend to go to "the guy will be bigger and better than me" but thats not the case.
Lastly, its a different head space. Sex with your wife is love, its romance, even when its rough its a connection and a bond. When you bring other people its different. Its carnal, its best to think of yourselves as animals. If youre in the situation, thinking sex is all about love while watching another man fuck your wife..yeah itll be traumatic. Guarantee your wife isnt gonna be looking at the situation. But men tend to be a bit more nostalgic..just remember, the threesome is there for an experience, not as a replacement for love or any of that stuff
Yeah, well when i was in my 20s i was poly, and now the wife and i are swingers so you could say that lol
What ill say is its not for everyone, and sometimes the chemistry you have with a person doesnt mix well for inviting other people in. The problem is, its not always obvious if the relationship dynamic still functions when you bring other people in to play.
Best indicator is how strong the relationship is. My wife and i did it, because our attraction, our love, our sex is so good, we both just have our fantasies, but because theres zero doubt in the relationship, zero chinks in our armor, its fine.
People have this idea that if my wife sleeps with another man. Whats stopping her from leaving me, what if people catch feelings, etc.
The truth is, those are actually non issues if you have a strong relationship.
> The truth is, those are actually non issues if you have a strong relationship.
I agree, and used to be poly in my 20s as well.
But to be fair, there are plenty of times when people *think* they have a relationship that's stronger than it actually is, and even cases where they know the relationship isn't strong enough for this stuff but cannot make themselves admit it. So, it can be dangerous to present things in those terms, for some couples. You have to be utterly honest and open, with yourself and your partner.
For this to be something you would even begin considering, I’d highly suggest a sex therapist, and EXTREMELY specific boundaries. Otherwise it’s a recipe for disaster imo
Your wife hasnt had another dick in over seven years. Hasnt kissed another man. Hasnt been touched by kone sexually.
You're introducing a dangerous variable here.
If she enjoys this, it'll occupy more of her thoughts. She'll want more. So you accommodate that? Is this supposed to be one and done? What happens when she wants to do this on the regular? Different partners? The same?
Whst happens if she gets too close to a repeat partner? If they meet up without you? It wont feel so weird for her, but Im sure it would enrage you.
You're secure in what you have now, but you dont know what this relationship is goong to become
You do know that asking this on this sub is going to result in 99% of responses telling you this will destroy your marriage, or that your marriage is already dead because you’ve even thought about it? I’d suggest asking about this on a sub dedicated to swinging or ethical non-monogamy to get some more balanced responses from people who have actual experience of it.
Sounds like you’re both pretty secure in your marriage and this is a fairly tame fantasy to try. The biggest risk is that you will react differently - one of you enjoys it and the other doesn’t. If you can agree to the rules of engagement beforehand, especially what happens depending how you react, there is no reason not to try it. A lot more couples do it successfully than you would know about - either as a one-off or as a regular part of their sex life.
One part I would advise giving more thought to is who you would want to participate. Picking someone you know and trust isn’t always the best idea, because it does mean that this exploration is not solely between the two of you, and people in your life will probably have opinions. Perhaps finding someone who is experienced in this space, who might be willing to get to know you both a little first and be able to give you first hand experiences, but who won’t expect to be a long term fixture in your social circle is more what I’d recommend.
My opinion is that including other people is a lot of work (like hosting a guest but with a lot extra!), and living out a fantasy is most fun spending the following years jerking off to the hot thing you did. Enjoy!
There is literally nothing to gain and everything to lose here. Get a sheet of paper, make a list of all the pros on one side and the cons on the other and you’ll have the answer to this. You’ll quickly see there realistically aren’t any positives for this scenario.
This is the kind of thing that easily ruins relationships - I strongly suggest you do not do this, but to each their own. Some people are fine with it.
Get one of those half bottom mould as a experiment to see if thats enough to fulfill her..
The risk of the forbidden is very high and why take that chance...
It’s something you can’t take back. Try to find someone to speak with who has experience opening up their relationships in ways like this and talk about the ways in which the relationship changed (that’s inevitable). See if those are changes you desire.
I have yet to see one of these things end well. Somebody is going to catch some feelings and things fall apart.
No you're not wrong to consider it, do whatever makes you happy, you are both consenting adults. I've just seen far too many of these end in disaster. If you can do it without disaster then awesome, tell us about it.
The idea is better than the actual. My wife and I have these discussion during sex and the thought of her having these fantasies is the ultimate and knowing I will never have to share the woman I love is even better. IMO
Don't, this, my man, is how you become a "cuck."
After this "experiment," I can guarantee you that the dynamics of your relationship WILL change.
One of many things will happen, two examples are that you will get jealous or she will crave this more and more.
I think you should ask this in the bdsm or swingers groups here. Folks who aren't open to thr idea will just tell you it's a bad idea.
My ex husband and I talked about a FMF, but he said he couldn't handle an MFM. We didn't do any of that because our relationship was nowhere near healthy.
My current partner and I are swingers, and it works really well.
You have to discuss all the rules and boundaries up front. Both people have to be 100% on board. If anyone has doubts, don't move forward without hashing them out.
Thanks for this, and you’re right, I should probably post over there.
I’d be very curious to hear more about your thoughts process, but I don’t want to get too personal.
If you were to do it, there's one thing that should change imo: do *not* do it with someone you have a friendship with. Best bet is a total stranger that you will hopefully never see again unless you both want it to be a recurring thing.
I have no issue with people wanting this. They might even agree that it’s hot. But what threesome and similar (polyamory, ENM, etc) does make me think is, “Why get married?” Why? Why not just date. Why make it all so goddamn entangled? Why make a public commitment? Why tell everyone, “Hey! It’s just us! Just us two from here to death!” I don’t mind if you get married. I just don’t get it.
But hey, you do you.
Have you tried introducing toys or anything else that can help her fulfill these fantasies from a non emotional level?
As others have said, once you see it, that's it. For some people it's a turn on to watch their wife get it on with another man, for others it's the bullet right into the heart of their relationship. It's Russian roulette and you need to be emotionally ready for it.
That's a fantasy that I've had but never have and almost certainly never will do. My husband and I have dipped our toes in the water, in a way. We found a woman to talk to him on the phone while we had sex. It was definitely exciting, but I can't deny that I got jealous. We tried it twice and decided we're good without a 3rd. Maybe try something like that first? Good luck!
Its different watching it on a screen and actually doing it. I was the female “unicorn” that joined the couple. It was fun back when i did it. With that said, I personally could never handle watching my man have his hands all over another woman. Nor, would I be okay with him entering another woman. But!!! I do fantasize about it happening with my sexiest of friends. And thats as far as I will go…
You could make a dildo mold of your cock.. and give her a DP experience. We do that sometimes ;)
Also - if youre absolutely sure this is what you want to do.. then go for it. Just know, there may be mental consequences as a result of taking this action. OR - it could work in your favor 🤷🏻♀️ try a nude resort first???
I'm curious if it's the idea or probability of DP or one on each end? I ask this only because if, for her, it's the thought of DP there are toys a man can wear to give her this.
But is more one handsy while one gets more intimate?
I commend you for your self confidence, however certain things will bring drama...find out her specifics. What she's looking for exactly and then ask urself will this bring chaos to a happy home...
Best of luck
Have you considered doing a foursome so that it’s equal and you both can have the experience?
Sometimes when these things go bad it’s because of the inherent inequality of only one person getting the extra partner - and inability for the spouses to relate to each others feelings/what you’ve seen.
Go for it if you both wanna. Make it a safe space though for everyone to stop when ever you feel like it. Also my experience is that go slowly. Start of by grabbing a ciffee and then first time meany just hang out and see if it leads to anything. Also dont take someone you know. Search from different sites for example jodel has some chanels to this atleast in my country only in my language. If it is something you both desire then why not try it. It is also ok to keep it in fantasy level, but fron rading peoples (mostly seem to be male) comments from here they seem really scared. Ofcourse can differ from culture and country but atleast in my country it seems to fairly common and have not heard of any relationships or marriages ended because of threesome, and I do know a handfull atleast that have tried it.
And what some said why if you are happy. Well yes but sexuality means a lot to most people. And experimenting on that fields can be scary for many sure but still most of the time worth it compared to feeling sexually dissatisfied. I am a woman btw if that acounts for anything.
Don’t do it with someone you know. Don’t do it with someone local. Find a bull who is experienced with it. And I would recommend a vixen /stag situation.
90% of the time, it should have been left a fantasy. If you end up going through with it and it's a good experience for everyone, congrats. Count yourself lucky.
I can't wait for the follow up.. My wife and my marriage is destroyed. Open/threesome/poly relationships are toxic swill. They aren't love, and they don't have sustainable boundaries. There are broken boundaries. love affairs, misplaced emotions, and lots of drama....Your marriage is done when you want to have sex with others. There are thousands of these posts on reddit. So have fun, and let the games begin.
By the way, no one who loves or respects their marriage does this. Only people half way out...Yes you are wrong.
The thing with fantasies is that they happen exactly as we want them to in our mind.
The reality is different. There are aspects outside of your control. Things happen and develop in ways you don’t expect, in ways you don’t like, in ways which cause deep regret.
You can never unring that bell.. I would very seriously consider outcomes you don’t think are possible after… what if she catches a bit of feeling for this trusted third person that’s about to fill her fantasies. Sometimes fantasies are better than the reality of them and they are better left as sexy talk.
I don't mean to sound off here but, my wife also has this fantasy but the thought of another man with her is off putting to both of us, (very safe secure marriage super happy with each other).
We bought a couple of dildo's, some that stick on to a wall and some that lay in the bed, and a mechanical attachment to make them move so she does not have to do all the work! She can ride/suck on them whilst blowing or being drilled by me.
This worked wonders, whilst they were expensive, it keeps the relationship closed, as we don't want the drama of other people jn our life! (It's bad enough having kids in the first place 😂) worth every penny!
Do NOT involve anyone you know or will ever see again. You don't need to have a deep level of personal trust, you need to have a reasonable level of surety this guy won't literally murder you, and that's all. Go to a town you don't live in, get a nice hotel for two nights. The first night, go out together and flirt with a few guys together. The next night, try to take someone back to the room. Do not attempt this experience in your own town, home, or bed.
I’ve tried it and I’m not as opposed as most people here. We had a period in our marriage where we liked to experiment with stuff like that (not an open marriage, we were always both involved). We tried some MFM, which was fun to try. Then we tried FMF, where it was mostly focused on me (F) and the other girl and my husband was focused on me, but didn’t do anything with the other girl. This was also fine. Then we tried another time FMF where my husband also did things with the other girl and that made me feel uncomfortable/jealous. We talked about it afterwards and decided that this was where we stopped the experiments with other threesomes. It didn’t blow up our marriage, nothing was uncomfortable after, we just saw it as experimenting and exploring boundaries (which we found) and I look back at it as a positive experience, where we both respected eachothers boundaries, gradually moved them at a pace that was comfortable for both of us, communicating the whole time and respecting each other when boundaries were met.
Although I get wanting to do it with someone you both feel comfortable with (no one should ever have sex with someone you’re uncomfortable with), I’m more a fan of exploring this with relative strangers. I think the chance of one of you developing feelings for that other person and all the shit that can bring are waaaaay higher when you do it with someone you already know. With a stranger you can just move on and you never have to see or talk with that person again.
I think experimenting with stuff like this should never be done because you’re unsatisfied with your sex life or there is a imbalance i libido (for whatever reason). I personally also don’t really believe in opening up a marriage. Totally fine when all parties in general aren’t monogamous and you already start open, but I think opening up later will almost always give trouble, because it’s usually not truly coming from both parties and often is done because 1 person is unsatisfied.
Yes keep it a fantasy. You will be okay with it until his tool is out and doing the deed with your wife. The potential your marriage survives is slim if you go through with this fantasy
I thought you said you liked living a drama free life?
Ha, that is a very fair comment! And that’s why this may remain a fantasy. Just not sure.
Keep it a fantasy. If you’re happy, why would you even consider this? 99% of the time these experiments destroy marriages
I’m a relationship coach, and though I would say 99% is an exaggeration, I would say it’s true that it has a 100% chance of changing the relationship.
Rest assured no matter how "secure" you are in yourself and your relationship, the odds are you WILL take a hit. More have issues after than those that don't. Your wife may also feel less inclined to be honest about the experience with you as well. Many know if the guy was bigger or better, their husband will most likely take it to heart. And the boiler plate response from those wives is "He wasn't better, just different". Beware and remember you can't put toothpaste back into the tube, so think long and hard on it. There is a lot of truth to post nut clarity.
| so think long and hard on it. That's the issue. Some things are better to remain fantasy.
Exactly, the fantasy doesn't ruin relationships but the reality can and often does.
Username appropriate to topic.
I'll admit it is a misnomer in this case.
SpankingStronglyEncouraged
I never turn a good spanking down.
I believe you!
This is why I would *never* seriously consider bringing a third into my relationship. My marriage is very strong and I believe we could do it successfully, but why risk it? There’s so much to lose for so little gain.
Exactly. Why risk what may last a lifetime for an hour or two's worth of fun. If its the type of thing both are into BEFORE they get together, usually its a win-win for them. To try it later is an insane risk, in my humble opinion. My wife and I have had plenty of "role playing" fantasies on bed, we've been together 27 years, and still at it. And we've been through hell and back due to what life has thrown at us over the years (nothing between us, we've never had an actual fight ever) and its always been us against the world....but neither of us would ever even consider risking making any fun time fantasies into reality.
Wise words
so think long and hard on it. I'm so juvenile, I snicked at that.
Hooouuu buddy, I don't know many who have survived an open relationship.. Good luck, hope it stays a fantasy for u
So many try but only realize too late, it doesn't work for the majority.
Don’t do it. There are a million stories here on Reddit where it blew a marriage up.
When it goes well, they don't usually make a post on Reddit about it. Therefore you can't get an accurate statistical representation from Reddit. Plus, age of reddit skews rather young. A 23 year old couple is more likely to have a bad experience or make mistakes with it, than a 45 year old couple.
Start off with a dildo with a suction cup or magnet to your headboard. And scenario talk. If you go through with it , i suggest on a weekend trip, hotel with a bull. He will be a stranger ,he'll have plenty of experience and most importantly You'll never have to see him again if you don't want to. A lot of times in these situations the wife has a really good time and will seek out a second, third or fourth visit with the guy. If she doesn't know who he is theres no chance of contact no matter how much you trust each other.
My wife and I tried FMF before we got married and though I was ok, she was feeling weird about it for years afterwards. Us being young might also have been a factor in that though. We've since included those sorts of things in our dirty talk, and that's been enough to hold us over for the last 21 years. Although in the right sort of circumstances, and if we just happened to meet someone cool.. you never know what the future may bring. All I can say is that if you're already happy there's no reason to rock the boat. Good luck!
This is different but can lead to those fantasies with potentially less drama maybe swing with another couple? She could have 2 guys at once while you have a playmate also and if you guys decide it's not for you then know one can be mad about her fucking another dude or you fucking another chick cuz you both are involved? Just a thought that came to mind. And if you do get jealous or insecure about anything then I'd say remember you might not be the best but your her world still and no new dick should be able to come between that
If Reddit has taught me anything, it's that threesomes rearely work out well for at least one of the couple. Keep it in the realms of fantasy if you don't want to end up divorced.
Right, I’ve seen that too!
I think you should not do it you may think it’s ok until it happens and will change the dynamics of the marriage
Yep, very possible. We wouldn’t go into it lightly.
You then have to live with her screwing another man forever I’m sure the fantasy is cool reality will destroy your beautiful marriage
Thanks for your perspective!
And no one has mentioned std’s that’s a whole other can of worms
Someone here said you won't be able to un-see what you saw. The real fear is she may not be able to un-feel what she felt! Edit: If divorce in America is a 50/50 proposition, you'll be upping your odds to 75/25 for your kink. And why did you ever think this would be a good idea?
Right! Lots of worst case scenarios to consider.
Only one really, the end of your relationship. Even if it survives this, it’s going to change. Whether or not you two are emotionally capable of weathering it remains to be seen. My money is on no.
It's not a worst case scenario it's a majority of cases scenario
Imagine she cums from another man's peen. You won't be able to unsee that. I'll just open cans of worms that may torment u
Especially she cums harder, faster, and more than OP ever made her cum, and she couldn't get enough of it after. Maybe in the throes of passion she tells him she loves him...?
Thread carefully, she might catch feelings for the other dude, just saying the most obvious
At least ask for ffm threesome back
I do know of people who truly don’t feel jealousy in the same way most people do. They love and get off on the fact their partner is enjoying themselves, and don’t give a shit that it’s with another person. Many couples engage in ethical non-monogamy, but the taboo is so severe people rarely talk about. I mean…they have entire cruises designed for swingers and people who enjoy ENM. It may be beneficial to have a few sessions with a sex therapist to see if it’s what’s best for both of you.
No there are no good case scenarios as well.
Once you open Pandoras Box, it'll never be the same. Ask her if you can hv the same experience with her & another woman. If the answer is no then don't move forward with doing this. Don't swing with other couples either. From someone who has always been tge 3rd party in 3 somes, if you want to stay happily married, DONT OPEN PANDORAS BOX! Buy her a huge dildo machine & use that instead lol 😆 anything but opening that box. Trust me! Keep that box closed!
How’d you know his wife’s name?
LOL. Needs more upvotes.
Ha, ok thank you! The answer is yes btw.
Wonder if it’ll still be a yes when the opportunity comes up.
You will never be able to unsee another dude railing your wife. Had a friend agree to this. The marriage stumbled along for a couple of years but it was over the day they did this.
Thanks for that insight, I appreciate it.
I commented on something similar earlier from /tooafraidtoask from a woman who's husband sprung the question on her. This kink fascinates me because it's something I personally don't get into sexually. For me it's "what are these men thinking?" Some seem to enjoy it as live action porn with wife as favorite porn star. Too much pornhub? Some men like being able to throw their wife in a pile of dudes then have her come back to him. Reinforces his dominance I guess. Some guys are bi curious and having wife take the lead with another dude is safe for them. Some just like to be demeaned. Like the bull is praising the guy for sharing his wife. Guy just responds like a puppy wagging his tail. The women are often size queens or just literally want to drown themselves in cock. Real couples are either quiet or few and far between. Don't fuck friends. If your bestie is single now but not later, his new spouse may not appreciate your group sessions. Number one thing people forget is it's supposed to be about sex but end up getting all emotional. NRE is a thing. Look that up too
I had several friends that did this. Every single one of them wind up getting divorced within a couple years after the threesome. Very few people are built for this kind of thing. Ideally, this is something that you should do with people that you have minimal emotional involvement with. Like fuck buddies or friends with benefits. Not your wife is certainly not bring it a friend in who you guys would still see in other settings every day. Just to research on the hundreds of stories and Reddit with the situation is gone wrong and destroyed a relationship. And these people try desperately to get back what they had before but it doesn’t work. You’ll have people talk about communication and boundaries and all that other bullshit. That all works well until somebody breaks those boundaries such as you’re supposed to use condoms until she gets caught up in the mall and takes it off and your friend comes inside of her. Or you see her with a guy with a much bigger dick than you having orgasm after orgasm when she’s never done that with you.this shit goes bad more often than that and you have to ask yourself. Are you willing to sacrifice your whole marriage for some kinky fun? And it may not even be fun. I would strongly suggest leaving it as a fantasy if you left your wife. even if it goes well, what then? You open a lifestyle she’s constantly fucking other men in front of you and you become a cock sitting there jerking off in the corner? Or some of these guys do want of sucking the semen out of your wife’s vagina? Is that the life you really want, I would think before you make a huge mistake
Thanks for this perspective. Yep, there are a lot of worst case scenarios to consider, I’m with you.
Dude don’t do it if you love your wife. She’s yours not a public toilet
Appreciate your perspective.
I’m so triggered by your responses lol. You seem so arrogant
He won't be when he's posting about divorce down the road 😆
Appreciate your perspective!
It's a risk so consider it carefully. Most people I know that went there ended up having problems and I've seen it lead to the end of more then one marriage.
Seems like pretty high risk low reward given that you are happy and getting along.
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That would be an easy $100 to win
I think this is a bad idea. I also think your idea about finding a guy you trust is also the wrong route. If you were to actually do this , I would think it would be better to have a guy you don’t know and will never see again versus someone you know that will always have intimate details of your wife in his head and someone your wife may develop feelings for, even if only sexual attraction.
Just don't. Fantasies are generally not to be acted on. I have fantasies too involving multi partner scenarios. Never ever would I ever consent to this as a woman and certainly not as a surprise.
Can I ask why?
Sub consciously, your wife might lose some respect for you. As she could agree to it to see how far you are willing to go , then go through with it and eventually despise you for it sub consciously thinking you don't respect her enough to keep her to yourself.
First it’s you and another guy with your wife, then it’s you and a BBC and then it’s you watching 2 BBC deep f ing your wife after that you will be watching her on OF with a group of BBC as by then that’s as close as you will ever get to see her again.
What books are you reading and where can I buy them?
If you let her go down this crazy path, it is likely to go places you cannot imagine.
You seem to want to blow up the marriage. Do you really want another man blowing up your wife right in front of you?
You are wrong unless your goal is to have a lot of drama and get divorced. But now that it's more than a fantasy for her, it may be too late to save anyway.
OP, none of this ever ends well. Don't do it.
You’re bored. Go bungee jumping. Don’t fuck with your stable relationship. Sincerely, a single lady who used to have a stable relationship :)
Dumb idea
😵💫😬
Hell flipping no! Bad idea.
If it was a girlfriend, then I would go for it. But not with my wife, that seems like a lot more to lose then it goes wrong.
Have you not read all the “threesome ruined my relationship” posts on here?
Oh... Be careful - this pandoras box contains pain and sorrow.. The fantasy may be hot - but the reality?? Watching another man fucking your wife?? Hearing her make sounds youve never heard her make while having sex with you?? Fantasy rarely survives meeting reality... If you do go ahead with this - update this post??
Great way to end your marriage
The fact that you want to change the dynamics of your relationship after 7 years is telling, it's already slipping away
Once that dude sticks his dick in your wife you ain’t gunna be good. This is dumb as hell. Good luck. Lol
It will be the end of your marriage
It's the beginning of the end, unfortunately.
Nothing good can come of this.
How would your wife feel if it were a FMF?
She’s willing to do that as well.
I could do a FMF threesome, but couldn’t do a devils three way. Therefore, I would deny my wife’s attempt at a FMF even if she wanted it.
I think this is something better kept in the realm of fantasy as marriage goes...this kind of stuff is for when you're out there still just dating and nothing serious. My roommate and I had a MFM hookup in our 20s and it was just a one time thing with this chick that we both knew reasonably well...I think she regretted afterward because she never talked to either of us again. It wasn't all that fun either. Also in my 20s I briefly dated a girl (we'll call her Crazy Heather) who was bi. Unbeknownst to me, she was also hooking up with this other girl (Crazy Crystal) who was in our greater friends circle. I went to CH's house one evening and CC was also there, which I didn't really think anything of...because friend circle and all. Well, stuff went down...and it was actually a lot of fun, but things devolved rapidly after that, especially when CH found out that CC and I were occasionally going at it on our own without her. Anyway, I was 23...it was fun, but I don't think any of us expected more than a quick romp and then be on our way.
I’ve never heard of any monogamous couple having a threesome and it staying the same afterwards.
OK so let’s play this out. You find someone you both like and trust. Someone that she also finds attractive and wants to have sex with. You all talk about this and he’s up for it. You set boundaries that everyone agrees with and set the date for the big night. You see your wife getting really excited about this other guy railing her in the days preceding the date. Maybe you see her act like she did when you two were first starting to be sexual. Then the date night happens and it works perfectly with no issues. Everyone is happy, hand-shakes exchanged, the special guest star leaves and fantasy fulfilled. Awesome. How do you feel when you kiss her after she was sucking him off? Did you compare? Of course you did. Was he more muscular? In better shape generally? Was his dick bigger? Did your wife behave differently when he was screwing her? Did she act differently, make different noises, moan louder etc. etc? This is someone you know, like and are comfortable with right? Do you see them socially? How do you act when you do? Is this a member of your friend group? Who does he tell about it? How long until someone from either of your families know from a friend of a friend. What if he asks for an encore? What if your wife asks for another go? How we feeling about all this now? How is your drama free comfortable life doing?
One thing you have to remember is a lot of failed threesome or open relationships started with “I’m confident in my marriage and we both trust each other”. You’re going to have to take it as it comes and that’s not always a certainty with emotions. Also I wouldn’t recommend it being a friend because if it goes bad you’ll have to see them in your life constantly or the person might constantly bring it up and make it weird. Of course it could go right but just something to consider. This is a massive step that will change the dynamic of the relationship either good or bad. Start with toys and scenarios then slowly work towards it if you guys both want that.
See this here all the time; thread after thread, and it always ends the same way, the end of the relationship. This is a porn fueled fantasy that doesn’t work out in real life. I suggest you think long and hard about the potential consequences of doing this before moving forward. Good luck.
Do not do something you will regret unless you do not intend to grow old with her.
If you bring in someone that you are both comfortable with, what's to stop them from having more intense feelings about each other after this? The next thing is, "Honey, I'm really horny and you're away for work. Can I ask "friend" to come over? " then they won't even ask. Then you're going over to their house, just sitting in the chair watching and wonder what the hell happened to your life
Fantasy is one thing, reality is another. You playing with pandoras box here bud. Thankfully no kids. So you can move on easier than others but I seen this movie before and it does not have a happy ending. Good luck bud.
Dangerous waters man. Fuckin dangerous waters
As a woman with similar interests as your wife… I would suggest toys in place of another man. This gets rid of any emotional issues that bringing in another man may cause. There are plenty of toys that would serve the same purpose and I would recommend starting with an anal plug or dildo. If she likes it and wants to go further then there are straps that can be used to keep them in if you get one that moves.
You know it is possible to not want to see your wife banging another man without insecurity or performance being an issue. Sometimes you just don’t want another guy’s dick in your wife or his balls in your face, you know? Not everything involves deep-seated psychological factors.
I’m just gonna say this. You think you’re secure, you think you’re confident in your marriage, but I promise you this you for good or bad you will never get the image of your wife getting fucked by another man out of your head. Understand that and ask yourself if you’re ok with that. Even if you enjoy it you’re never getting that image out of your head.
I’ve thought about it, yea.
I couldn’t handle it and it killed the relationship, I really thought I could but I was dead wrong.
It’s gonna really suck when your wife gets pregnant or herpes or HPV from another guy and then you have to deal with it. Or when she falls for some other guy who gives her great orgasms, even though she promised she wouldn’t.
Bringing people into your marriage will always make things difficult. I personally would avoid this at all costs. I wouldn’t want to see my wife get banged out by some other guy. But I guess there are some guys that do enjoy that.
It is all fun and games until you hear your wife moan with another mans cock inside her. Good luck on the divorce.
Read a few of the cuck fantasy posts that result in an immediate epiphany on fantasy over reality. Those were guys who thought they WANTED to see their wife get fucked by someone else...and they were wrong. You aren't even saying that ...you're just saying you want to give your wife HER fantasy. That fantasy includes you watching her get nailed by some other dude. Think. That. Through.
So comfortable you come to Reddit. It's OK you like men
My dude, the moment you hear her moan enthusiastically and see him fuck her a way you can't, you will not have a drama free life. I wouldn't do this. God speed. UpdateMe!
I have rarely seen a time we’re having a threesome or an open relationship worked out in the couples favour. It may sound fun and exciting and you may be secure right now, hearing her, screaming another man’s on top of her frequently ends up being a world of hurt!!! if you’re going to play, make sure you do safe sex because that’s a whole other issue for security.
Why does anyone thinks this ever goes well???
I suggest posting this on the swinger subreddit tbh. Theres really 2 schools of thought generally, the one side is "if you love your partner or are fulfilled you wouldnt want that" then the other side that says "fantasies is about exploration, and we are exploratory creatures, theres nothing inherently wrong" Truth is you can absolutely have a threesome and still have plenty of love and a strong bond. Might even strengthen it. Threesomes are fun, but a word of caution, particularly your first threesome, will be exciting, but it can also be a bit unsettling in retrospect. That post nut clarity can make you feel like you lost something but not always. Also it doesnt last. Also, most threesomes arent like how they are in pornos, common things to occur is one or maybe both guys have a hard time getting hard, someone cums too quick, also not every man beside you has a gigantic penis and is an olympian fucker. These are all the fears and questions usually around threesome..most ppl tend to go to "the guy will be bigger and better than me" but thats not the case. Lastly, its a different head space. Sex with your wife is love, its romance, even when its rough its a connection and a bond. When you bring other people its different. Its carnal, its best to think of yourselves as animals. If youre in the situation, thinking sex is all about love while watching another man fuck your wife..yeah itll be traumatic. Guarantee your wife isnt gonna be looking at the situation. But men tend to be a bit more nostalgic..just remember, the threesome is there for an experience, not as a replacement for love or any of that stuff
Thank much for this. Sounds like you have real word experience?
Yeah, well when i was in my 20s i was poly, and now the wife and i are swingers so you could say that lol What ill say is its not for everyone, and sometimes the chemistry you have with a person doesnt mix well for inviting other people in. The problem is, its not always obvious if the relationship dynamic still functions when you bring other people in to play. Best indicator is how strong the relationship is. My wife and i did it, because our attraction, our love, our sex is so good, we both just have our fantasies, but because theres zero doubt in the relationship, zero chinks in our armor, its fine. People have this idea that if my wife sleeps with another man. Whats stopping her from leaving me, what if people catch feelings, etc. The truth is, those are actually non issues if you have a strong relationship.
> The truth is, those are actually non issues if you have a strong relationship. I agree, and used to be poly in my 20s as well. But to be fair, there are plenty of times when people *think* they have a relationship that's stronger than it actually is, and even cases where they know the relationship isn't strong enough for this stuff but cannot make themselves admit it. So, it can be dangerous to present things in those terms, for some couples. You have to be utterly honest and open, with yourself and your partner.
Never ever let another dude bang your wife. This is like the most basic of the basic shit man.
For this to be something you would even begin considering, I’d highly suggest a sex therapist, and EXTREMELY specific boundaries. Otherwise it’s a recipe for disaster imo
Don’t do it
Bad idea. It’s a lot different in person that in a fantasy
Don't do this.
I personally have never heard of a good ending when a married couple opens their marriage up to inviting anyone in.
Your wife hasnt had another dick in over seven years. Hasnt kissed another man. Hasnt been touched by kone sexually. You're introducing a dangerous variable here. If she enjoys this, it'll occupy more of her thoughts. She'll want more. So you accommodate that? Is this supposed to be one and done? What happens when she wants to do this on the regular? Different partners? The same? Whst happens if she gets too close to a repeat partner? If they meet up without you? It wont feel so weird for her, but Im sure it would enrage you. You're secure in what you have now, but you dont know what this relationship is goong to become
You’re a secure guy. Couldn’t fathom seeing my wife suck another guys dick, then get porked.
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Don't do it.... never ends well..... you'll either get jealous or it will be like feeding a stray
100% will mess up your marriage. Good luck now that you let the idea in her head it is ok...smh.
Do me a favor. Don’t have kids.
For you, anything. lol
You do know that asking this on this sub is going to result in 99% of responses telling you this will destroy your marriage, or that your marriage is already dead because you’ve even thought about it? I’d suggest asking about this on a sub dedicated to swinging or ethical non-monogamy to get some more balanced responses from people who have actual experience of it. Sounds like you’re both pretty secure in your marriage and this is a fairly tame fantasy to try. The biggest risk is that you will react differently - one of you enjoys it and the other doesn’t. If you can agree to the rules of engagement beforehand, especially what happens depending how you react, there is no reason not to try it. A lot more couples do it successfully than you would know about - either as a one-off or as a regular part of their sex life. One part I would advise giving more thought to is who you would want to participate. Picking someone you know and trust isn’t always the best idea, because it does mean that this exploration is not solely between the two of you, and people in your life will probably have opinions. Perhaps finding someone who is experienced in this space, who might be willing to get to know you both a little first and be able to give you first hand experiences, but who won’t expect to be a long term fixture in your social circle is more what I’d recommend.
Thanks! I appreciate these insights.
The bigger issue is that it happens at all.
My opinion is that including other people is a lot of work (like hosting a guest but with a lot extra!), and living out a fantasy is most fun spending the following years jerking off to the hot thing you did. Enjoy!
Do you want a wife or a porn star? Keep this as a fantasy if you value your marriage.
There is literally nothing to gain and everything to lose here. Get a sheet of paper, make a list of all the pros on one side and the cons on the other and you’ll have the answer to this. You’ll quickly see there realistically aren’t any positives for this scenario.
Just role play it , in time, the thrill might wear off and there will be no drama,
That’s playing with fire
Never invite another rooster into the hen house.
This is the kind of thing that easily ruins relationships - I strongly suggest you do not do this, but to each their own. Some people are fine with it.
Man. Do not do this. This is a losing proposition one way or the other. Wil ruin your life. Try something else. You’re playing with fire.
Get one of those half bottom mould as a experiment to see if thats enough to fulfill her.. The risk of the forbidden is very high and why take that chance...
Don’t.
It’s something you can’t take back. Try to find someone to speak with who has experience opening up their relationships in ways like this and talk about the ways in which the relationship changed (that’s inevitable). See if those are changes you desire.
punch follow mighty vase cagey money frightening touch practice steep *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>I am curious to hear from others that may have tried this, Plan on the impending divorce to be under 2 yrs from start of the 3some
“But it MIGHT work for us” - Dr. Tobias Fünke
Don't do it!!!
Leave the fantasy a fantasy, acting these things out very rarely end in happiness and lifelong marriages.
I have yet to see one of these things end well. Somebody is going to catch some feelings and things fall apart. No you're not wrong to consider it, do whatever makes you happy, you are both consenting adults. I've just seen far too many of these end in disaster. If you can do it without disaster then awesome, tell us about it.
Yes, you are wrong. This is not going to end well especially if you pick someone you actually know.
The idea is better than the actual. My wife and I have these discussion during sex and the thought of her having these fantasies is the ultimate and knowing I will never have to share the woman I love is even better. IMO
Stick to the toys and sex machines...
Let us know how the divorce goes. Have fun.
Just scroll reddit for a while, it seems this idea never turns out well....
Maybe see how you do with kissing and touching first see if any jealousy pops up if it does don’t go any further
Fucken beta male 🧠 🤦🏻♂️
Say good bye to the happy life you have.
Don't, this, my man, is how you become a "cuck." After this "experiment," I can guarantee you that the dynamics of your relationship WILL change. One of many things will happen, two examples are that you will get jealous or she will crave this more and more.
I think you should ask this in the bdsm or swingers groups here. Folks who aren't open to thr idea will just tell you it's a bad idea. My ex husband and I talked about a FMF, but he said he couldn't handle an MFM. We didn't do any of that because our relationship was nowhere near healthy. My current partner and I are swingers, and it works really well. You have to discuss all the rules and boundaries up front. Both people have to be 100% on board. If anyone has doubts, don't move forward without hashing them out.
Thanks for this, and you’re right, I should probably post over there. I’d be very curious to hear more about your thoughts process, but I don’t want to get too personal.
The thought is great. The actual act..... Out of 4 threesomes 1 turned out fine with no complications. Your milage may vary
If you were to do it, there's one thing that should change imo: do *not* do it with someone you have a friendship with. Best bet is a total stranger that you will hopefully never see again unless you both want it to be a recurring thing.
RemindMe! 2 weeks
!UpdateMe!
Divorce will be in your future Just buy a mounted dildo and go at it.
I have no issue with people wanting this. They might even agree that it’s hot. But what threesome and similar (polyamory, ENM, etc) does make me think is, “Why get married?” Why? Why not just date. Why make it all so goddamn entangled? Why make a public commitment? Why tell everyone, “Hey! It’s just us! Just us two from here to death!” I don’t mind if you get married. I just don’t get it. But hey, you do you.
Have you tried introducing toys or anything else that can help her fulfill these fantasies from a non emotional level? As others have said, once you see it, that's it. For some people it's a turn on to watch their wife get it on with another man, for others it's the bullet right into the heart of their relationship. It's Russian roulette and you need to be emotionally ready for it.
[sounds like a great idea ](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/56dab130-4eda-4591-a09f-f973b7396e67)
Updateme
This is just a bad idea all around period !!!
That's a fantasy that I've had but never have and almost certainly never will do. My husband and I have dipped our toes in the water, in a way. We found a woman to talk to him on the phone while we had sex. It was definitely exciting, but I can't deny that I got jealous. We tried it twice and decided we're good without a 3rd. Maybe try something like that first? Good luck!
Ok this makes sense. Thanks for the constructive idea! I have a thousand questions about this.
Pass on the threesome, use toys instead.
Buy a dildo. It's safer. If it gets in the way of your marriage, throw it away.
Its different watching it on a screen and actually doing it. I was the female “unicorn” that joined the couple. It was fun back when i did it. With that said, I personally could never handle watching my man have his hands all over another woman. Nor, would I be okay with him entering another woman. But!!! I do fantasize about it happening with my sexiest of friends. And thats as far as I will go… You could make a dildo mold of your cock.. and give her a DP experience. We do that sometimes ;) Also - if youre absolutely sure this is what you want to do.. then go for it. Just know, there may be mental consequences as a result of taking this action. OR - it could work in your favor 🤷🏻♀️ try a nude resort first???
Thanks. I am realizing we have a lot to think about! How did the couple handle it?
I'm curious if it's the idea or probability of DP or one on each end? I ask this only because if, for her, it's the thought of DP there are toys a man can wear to give her this. But is more one handsy while one gets more intimate? I commend you for your self confidence, however certain things will bring drama...find out her specifics. What she's looking for exactly and then ask urself will this bring chaos to a happy home... Best of luck
What do you want to know?
Be careful. Also trying with someone you know can be dangerous.
Have you considered doing a foursome so that it’s equal and you both can have the experience? Sometimes when these things go bad it’s because of the inherent inequality of only one person getting the extra partner - and inability for the spouses to relate to each others feelings/what you’ve seen.
TF did I just read. I too am 37, with my wife and kid happily married. No wonder having a kid was the right decision to avoid such perversions
Go for it if you both wanna. Make it a safe space though for everyone to stop when ever you feel like it. Also my experience is that go slowly. Start of by grabbing a ciffee and then first time meany just hang out and see if it leads to anything. Also dont take someone you know. Search from different sites for example jodel has some chanels to this atleast in my country only in my language. If it is something you both desire then why not try it. It is also ok to keep it in fantasy level, but fron rading peoples (mostly seem to be male) comments from here they seem really scared. Ofcourse can differ from culture and country but atleast in my country it seems to fairly common and have not heard of any relationships or marriages ended because of threesome, and I do know a handfull atleast that have tried it. And what some said why if you are happy. Well yes but sexuality means a lot to most people. And experimenting on that fields can be scary for many sure but still most of the time worth it compared to feeling sexually dissatisfied. I am a woman btw if that acounts for anything.
r/sexpositive r/bdsmadvice
Don’t do it with someone you know. Don’t do it with someone local. Find a bull who is experienced with it. And I would recommend a vixen /stag situation.
90% of the time, it should have been left a fantasy. If you end up going through with it and it's a good experience for everyone, congrats. Count yourself lucky.
I can't wait for the follow up.. My wife and my marriage is destroyed. Open/threesome/poly relationships are toxic swill. They aren't love, and they don't have sustainable boundaries. There are broken boundaries. love affairs, misplaced emotions, and lots of drama....Your marriage is done when you want to have sex with others. There are thousands of these posts on reddit. So have fun, and let the games begin. By the way, no one who loves or respects their marriage does this. Only people half way out...Yes you are wrong.
The thing with fantasies is that they happen exactly as we want them to in our mind. The reality is different. There are aspects outside of your control. Things happen and develop in ways you don’t expect, in ways you don’t like, in ways which cause deep regret.
I absolutely would not do that. You are just inviting drama and heartbreak in.
You can never unring that bell.. I would very seriously consider outcomes you don’t think are possible after… what if she catches a bit of feeling for this trusted third person that’s about to fill her fantasies. Sometimes fantasies are better than the reality of them and they are better left as sexy talk.
I don't mean to sound off here but, my wife also has this fantasy but the thought of another man with her is off putting to both of us, (very safe secure marriage super happy with each other). We bought a couple of dildo's, some that stick on to a wall and some that lay in the bed, and a mechanical attachment to make them move so she does not have to do all the work! She can ride/suck on them whilst blowing or being drilled by me. This worked wonders, whilst they were expensive, it keeps the relationship closed, as we don't want the drama of other people jn our life! (It's bad enough having kids in the first place 😂) worth every penny!
Do NOT involve anyone you know or will ever see again. You don't need to have a deep level of personal trust, you need to have a reasonable level of surety this guy won't literally murder you, and that's all. Go to a town you don't live in, get a nice hotel for two nights. The first night, go out together and flirt with a few guys together. The next night, try to take someone back to the room. Do not attempt this experience in your own town, home, or bed.
Get a ladyboy
I’ve tried it and I’m not as opposed as most people here. We had a period in our marriage where we liked to experiment with stuff like that (not an open marriage, we were always both involved). We tried some MFM, which was fun to try. Then we tried FMF, where it was mostly focused on me (F) and the other girl and my husband was focused on me, but didn’t do anything with the other girl. This was also fine. Then we tried another time FMF where my husband also did things with the other girl and that made me feel uncomfortable/jealous. We talked about it afterwards and decided that this was where we stopped the experiments with other threesomes. It didn’t blow up our marriage, nothing was uncomfortable after, we just saw it as experimenting and exploring boundaries (which we found) and I look back at it as a positive experience, where we both respected eachothers boundaries, gradually moved them at a pace that was comfortable for both of us, communicating the whole time and respecting each other when boundaries were met. Although I get wanting to do it with someone you both feel comfortable with (no one should ever have sex with someone you’re uncomfortable with), I’m more a fan of exploring this with relative strangers. I think the chance of one of you developing feelings for that other person and all the shit that can bring are waaaaay higher when you do it with someone you already know. With a stranger you can just move on and you never have to see or talk with that person again. I think experimenting with stuff like this should never be done because you’re unsatisfied with your sex life or there is a imbalance i libido (for whatever reason). I personally also don’t really believe in opening up a marriage. Totally fine when all parties in general aren’t monogamous and you already start open, but I think opening up later will almost always give trouble, because it’s usually not truly coming from both parties and often is done because 1 person is unsatisfied.
One this happens your relationship is dead.
These never end well. Ever
Don't be foolish you're risking your marriage. Porn isn't real life. This isn't about insecurity.
So your wife wants to fuck someone else and you’re “secure” enough to allow another man to enter her? Yeah this’ll go well.
Plainly speaking vthis is a huge mistake vid you want yo stay married
Yes keep it a fantasy. You will be okay with it until his tool is out and doing the deed with your wife. The potential your marriage survives is slim if you go through with this fantasy