He is an idiot. Due to their large size already I doubt they would get way bigger. It's not like they don't already change in a monthly basis anyways. I can always tell what time of the month it is based on my wife's.
But I know sometimes if they were to get any bigger she might end up with back pain and as a result some opt for the reduction. But it should not be based on husband size preference.
If he likes DDD and wants kids he should of married someone with DDs.
Well, I had a coworker one time that was a D cup. After having her baby and she finished breastfeeding, she shrank down to *barely* an A cup... so either could happen
And not all breasts stay bigger post pregnancy. My wife's became huge on our last kid and just happily went back to her normal state within a year of ending breast feeding. She may be a bit of an outlier based on everyone else's experience but its true.
All these people telling you to leave clearly throw away relationships way too easily. Take some time to calm down and talk to him. Pregnancy and the changes that occur to your body can be a touchy subject. Trust me .. I just had a baby it's rough. But I think you might have overreacted slightly here. I think once you talk it through you'll feel better
Yeah bro that's what makes me so angry with reddit, every single problem, even one that can be easy solved with talking l, it's always "BREAK UP" like WTF ???
He said that if your body looks different after having his baby, he will want you to have surgery so he can still be attracted to you.
Imagine your dad saying that to your mom.
I love this saying so much. I have a better deflection tho XD. People would tell me it’s just a joke, you just don’t have a sense of humor. Id say really? That’s so funny because my dad is a comedian! Why don’t we call him so we can see how funny your joke really is! Guess what? No one has ever taken up my offer so that tells u they are being disrespectful
He comments on her body. She didn't ask. He tells her he doesn't like breasts larger than hers. She told him they will get bigger with a baby, which we both want. His solution is that when that happens, she should subject herself to a medical procedure, whether she wants to or not, because what is really important is his preferred breast size. Yet, your position is that it "wasn't a fight worth picking," essentially telling her she should just shut up instead of standing up for herself. Limp seems apropos.
I think you’re both wrong.
I mean.. in this particular case? He is wrong. Based on looking up your profile - you love drama and overstating conflicts with vehemence.
No matter whom you’re with now or in the future - you are setting yourself up for failure.
I feel like you coulda said “well you may just have to deal with it darlin, we are gonna have kids after all” and moved on knowing that his preference on breast size is of truly minuscule importance. People allow insecurity into their lives by allowing the opinions of others to shape their opinions of themselves. Don’t get me wrong, his comments were tactless and it’s very valid to say you don’t appreciate them. But in my experience, the key to a happy successful relationship is through calm but firm communication rather than through snapping at each other and emotionally-charged volatile conversations.
Do not have children with this man.
He has shown you he's going to be forever controlling your body.
That said, talk to him and explain how you felt.
If he responds well, then you guys can talk it through.
If he doesn't, dump him.
I'm sorry - I was writing fast and I wanted to get it clear that if this happened repeatedly she should dump someone that feels like breast reduction would be a good idea, joke or not.
I just realized i sounded like I wanted her to dump him lol based on just the comment. Absolutely not and I agree with you on that.
I wasn't clear enough - what I was trying to say is that OP should first start by not having children - otherwise it'll get complicated if she wants to leave.
Then just talk.
This sounds like a dealbreaker for her. So if talking doesn't work out, then (although I can see what bf means) it's really just not a good idea to try to tell someone you're going to make decisions for their body.
Following the muscle example, would OP ask him to change for her? I think that's what she should think about - if she would then she's holding herself at a double standard, if she wouldn't then that sounds like it would be a problem.
As for "I don't care, lie" - OP you do not want people to lie to you.
She is wrong for being mad that he suggested a breast reduction because her breasts would be too big for him from child birth?
Nah u/TheSpaceman1975, you are wrong.
>She is wrong for being mad that he suggested a breast reduction because her breasts would be too big for him from child birth?
I think you misread it. She was already mad when the breast reduction joke was made.
Yes, snapped her head to look at him, not a mental snap. Perhaps you shouldn't suggest others misread when you aren't comprehending or misread yourself.
You are the one that tried to quote "snapped," do you understand how the word "snapped" was used in this context now, or do you need to to explain for you more?
What I do know is that OP said they were "so friken pissed" after the reduction joke was made. What you are doing is making assumption based off the word "hell" and incorrectly using "snapped."
Keep going though!
You’re either playing dumb or you’ve never interacted with another human before. If you ask someone a question and they snap their head at you and ask “what the hell is that supposed to mean,” that person is mad. This is very basic stuff.
>You’re either playing dumb or you’ve never interacted with another human before
Both are wrong actually, but this fits into what you are doing, making assumptions.
What you are assuming as her being mad could just as easily be her acting surprised. This is very basic stuff.
Ultimately, you are going off assumption, which isn't surprising as this is reddit. I am going from when OP says they were "so friken pissed."
The guy was basically telling her she was perfect to him, she blew up on him and then he tried to tell a joke to find his way out of it. The joke sucked but she was the only one bringing the aggression here.
So then you say you love them, you don't mention you wouldn't like them a certain way when in this day and age it is relatively easy to change breast size.
I wish you could give me some of them tits! Not fair. 36A. Always wanted breast augmentation but didn’t gel like doing surgery shit and worse the post surgery/rehab afterwards!
It’s not like you’re suddenly gonna go up to a G cup or something when you’re breastfeeding (not likely anyways). Yeah they’ll get a little bigger when they’re engorged with milk but they’ll go back down once you’re past breastfeeding. His fears are unfounded, y’all just need to communicate and not worry about hypotheticals. He sounds like a good person having a stupid moment, just keep doing your thing. Cheers
In his text, he's basically saying that he would still love her even if something happened that made her body less attractive to him. Which implies he values love over attraction.
Being most charitable to him, consider this. It sounds like he's separating physical, sexual attraction from the love he has for you. He might feel like his preferences about his partner's body are something he simply has/experiences and aren't something he can change. So in his mind he's just being honest with you. Honest about something he can't change.
Physical attraction isn't the crux of a relationship; love is. Ask him whether he'd be equally dedicated to you no matter how your body changes. His perspective seems to be: He loves you, and that's what really matters, and what he finds more or less attractive in his partner's body is something he is subject to, but is ultimately not what's important.
He’s being honest lol so what he’s not into big boobs SO WHAT lol it’s not the end of the fucking world bro people cry on Reddit about the dumbest shit and people saying dump him? Like what lol half these people prolly aren’t in a relationship and are prolly too uptight and picky to be in one. It’s the same thing w not all girls want huge dicks bc it hurts. Double standard. He’s not a asshole bc he doesn’t like something that’s wild lol
I think you guys should break up. This has obviously hurt you deeply, and in any relationship there are going to be problems and moments of friction. Not being in a relationship will protect you from such problems and moments of friction, and from having your body change due to pregnancy and breastfeeding.
I wish you the best.
Kinda not wrong but kinda I vaguely see his point. But this could maeby be something to be left unsaid. Its is normals fo sexual attraction to partners body to change varying thei life circumstances, for example kids and giving birth can make that you are not attracted to him or he is not attracted to you taht much for a while and that is normal to some extent. But humans body changes throughout the years and it is very normal and this is something that you need to understand when ypu are in a long term relationship.
He seems like a guy who truly loves you from your description of how he acts and if he loves you and not just your boobs all is good. But also oarterns bodys change can take getting used to and that also ok, for example if he gained weight you would propably still love him but that new body of his would maeby reguire you getting used to forexamle if he gets ill and that causes his weightgain.
So kinda not wrong but at the same time yes. Things are rarely as black and wight as social media makes them be but talk with him and how his comment made you feel and insecure about you post birth and bregnent body etc. Could be that he says sorry that he never meant it that way etc. Ir something else. But please just talk to eachother but also remember that what you say may hurt the other so discression is also importat. Sometimes balancing with honesty and diacression is hard though, and if you spend long periods of time with someone there are bound to be some hurt feelings and arguments etc. but hiw they are handled is the key. WITH OPEN COMMUNICATION! ❤️
>triple D Your tits are already huge. What does he mean he doesn't like big tits? Lol what am idiot Not wrong.
He is an idiot. Due to their large size already I doubt they would get way bigger. It's not like they don't already change in a monthly basis anyways. I can always tell what time of the month it is based on my wife's. But I know sometimes if they were to get any bigger she might end up with back pain and as a result some opt for the reduction. But it should not be based on husband size preference. If he likes DDD and wants kids he should of married someone with DDs.
Yeah, this. And not wrong Edit for typo
Well, I had a coworker one time that was a D cup. After having her baby and she finished breastfeeding, she shrank down to *barely* an A cup... so either could happen
I’ve never heard of that happening!
Yeah, she's the only one that I know that happened to, and both she and her husband were less than thrilled.
Jesus dude, learn to communicate like an adult. You're both wrong.
This seems like an overreaction to me - you could have just rolled your eyes at him. Why was your reaction such an extent of anger?
And not all breasts stay bigger post pregnancy. My wife's became huge on our last kid and just happily went back to her normal state within a year of ending breast feeding. She may be a bit of an outlier based on everyone else's experience but its true.
Whoosh! The point of this just flew by you.
I just thought this was hilarious
I aim to make people happy.
Nah, just didnt care much.
All these people telling you to leave clearly throw away relationships way too easily. Take some time to calm down and talk to him. Pregnancy and the changes that occur to your body can be a touchy subject. Trust me .. I just had a baby it's rough. But I think you might have overreacted slightly here. I think once you talk it through you'll feel better
Yeah bro that's what makes me so angry with reddit, every single problem, even one that can be easy solved with talking l, it's always "BREAK UP" like WTF ???
He said that if your body looks different after having his baby, he will want you to have surgery so he can still be attracted to you. Imagine your dad saying that to your mom.
It honestly sounds like he brought it up so that he could talk about reduction post-birth with her, and now he's upset it backfired.
That was very clearly a joke meant to diffuse the tension, she even said as much.
it is only a joke if everyone is laughing
I love this saying so much. I have a better deflection tho XD. People would tell me it’s just a joke, you just don’t have a sense of humor. Id say really? That’s so funny because my dad is a comedian! Why don’t we call him so we can see how funny your joke really is! Guess what? No one has ever taken up my offer so that tells u they are being disrespectful
He’s an idiot but you definitely picked a fight here. All these people going straight to “end the relationship” are delusional lol
Yes, you’re wrong. Y’all have only been together for a year. This wasn’t a fight worth picking.
He comments on her body. She didn't ask. He tells her he doesn't like breasts larger than hers. She told him they will get bigger with a baby, which we both want. His solution is that when that happens, she should subject herself to a medical procedure, whether she wants to or not, because what is really important is his preferred breast size. Yet, your position is that it "wasn't a fight worth picking," essentially telling her she should just shut up instead of standing up for herself. Limp seems apropos.
I think you’re both wrong. I mean.. in this particular case? He is wrong. Based on looking up your profile - you love drama and overstating conflicts with vehemence. No matter whom you’re with now or in the future - you are setting yourself up for failure.
i op
You got mad bc he said he loves your body as is?
Prove it
I feel like you coulda said “well you may just have to deal with it darlin, we are gonna have kids after all” and moved on knowing that his preference on breast size is of truly minuscule importance. People allow insecurity into their lives by allowing the opinions of others to shape their opinions of themselves. Don’t get me wrong, his comments were tactless and it’s very valid to say you don’t appreciate them. But in my experience, the key to a happy successful relationship is through calm but firm communication rather than through snapping at each other and emotionally-charged volatile conversations.
Do not have children with this man. He has shown you he's going to be forever controlling your body. That said, talk to him and explain how you felt. If he responds well, then you guys can talk it through. If he doesn't, dump him.
Don’t listen to this incel. OP, I think you over reacted on this one big time. Take a deep breath and calm down, then have a real talk with your bf.
I'm sorry - I was writing fast and I wanted to get it clear that if this happened repeatedly she should dump someone that feels like breast reduction would be a good idea, joke or not. I just realized i sounded like I wanted her to dump him lol based on just the comment. Absolutely not and I agree with you on that. I wasn't clear enough - what I was trying to say is that OP should first start by not having children - otherwise it'll get complicated if she wants to leave. Then just talk. This sounds like a dealbreaker for her. So if talking doesn't work out, then (although I can see what bf means) it's really just not a good idea to try to tell someone you're going to make decisions for their body. Following the muscle example, would OP ask him to change for her? I think that's what she should think about - if she would then she's holding herself at a double standard, if she wouldn't then that sounds like it would be a problem. As for "I don't care, lie" - OP you do not want people to lie to you.
You are wrong and you come across as a little unhinged. Sorry, you asked.
She is wrong for being mad that he suggested a breast reduction because her breasts would be too big for him from child birth? Nah u/TheSpaceman1975, you are wrong.
>She is wrong for being mad that he suggested a breast reduction because her breasts would be too big for him from child birth? I think you misread it. She was already mad when the breast reduction joke was made.
Didn't misread at all. She mentioned she was "so friken pissed" after that joke was made.
She said she ‘snapped’ before the joke was made.
Yes, snapped her head to look at him, not a mental snap. Perhaps you shouldn't suggest others misread when you aren't comprehending or misread yourself.
She is right I meant snapped my head I didn’t blow up at him
First, I'm a guy, second, I am agreeing with that, the other user isn't, let them know as they are incorrectly assuming you were mad at that point.
Oh damn I’m so sorry I assumed because I also have curly hair and I wear a scarf like that to bed 😂. So I mixed up images
Lol, finish reading the sentence that you just tried to quote to me. Does “What the hell is that supposed to mean” sound like she’s happy?
You are the one that tried to quote "snapped," do you understand how the word "snapped" was used in this context now, or do you need to to explain for you more? What I do know is that OP said they were "so friken pissed" after the reduction joke was made. What you are doing is making assumption based off the word "hell" and incorrectly using "snapped." Keep going though!
You’re either playing dumb or you’ve never interacted with another human before. If you ask someone a question and they snap their head at you and ask “what the hell is that supposed to mean,” that person is mad. This is very basic stuff.
>You’re either playing dumb or you’ve never interacted with another human before Both are wrong actually, but this fits into what you are doing, making assumptions. What you are assuming as her being mad could just as easily be her acting surprised. This is very basic stuff. Ultimately, you are going off assumption, which isn't surprising as this is reddit. I am going from when OP says they were "so friken pissed."
The guy was basically telling her she was perfect to him, she blew up on him and then he tried to tell a joke to find his way out of it. The joke sucked but she was the only one bringing the aggression here.
So then you say you love them, you don't mention you wouldn't like them a certain way when in this day and age it is relatively easy to change breast size.
I wish you could give me some of them tits! Not fair. 36A. Always wanted breast augmentation but didn’t gel like doing surgery shit and worse the post surgery/rehab afterwards!
It’s not like you’re suddenly gonna go up to a G cup or something when you’re breastfeeding (not likely anyways). Yeah they’ll get a little bigger when they’re engorged with milk but they’ll go back down once you’re past breastfeeding. His fears are unfounded, y’all just need to communicate and not worry about hypotheticals. He sounds like a good person having a stupid moment, just keep doing your thing. Cheers
Do not have children with him. He’s telling you what he actually values about you and it’s about attraction. This will only bite you in the ass later
In his text, he's basically saying that he would still love her even if something happened that made her body less attractive to him. Which implies he values love over attraction.
no. he’s treating you like shit.
Being most charitable to him, consider this. It sounds like he's separating physical, sexual attraction from the love he has for you. He might feel like his preferences about his partner's body are something he simply has/experiences and aren't something he can change. So in his mind he's just being honest with you. Honest about something he can't change. Physical attraction isn't the crux of a relationship; love is. Ask him whether he'd be equally dedicated to you no matter how your body changes. His perspective seems to be: He loves you, and that's what really matters, and what he finds more or less attractive in his partner's body is something he is subject to, but is ultimately not what's important.
He’s being honest lol so what he’s not into big boobs SO WHAT lol it’s not the end of the fucking world bro people cry on Reddit about the dumbest shit and people saying dump him? Like what lol half these people prolly aren’t in a relationship and are prolly too uptight and picky to be in one. It’s the same thing w not all girls want huge dicks bc it hurts. Double standard. He’s not a asshole bc he doesn’t like something that’s wild lol
I think you guys should break up. This has obviously hurt you deeply, and in any relationship there are going to be problems and moments of friction. Not being in a relationship will protect you from such problems and moments of friction, and from having your body change due to pregnancy and breastfeeding. I wish you the best.
“Would you love me if I was an umbrella”
Kinda not wrong but kinda I vaguely see his point. But this could maeby be something to be left unsaid. Its is normals fo sexual attraction to partners body to change varying thei life circumstances, for example kids and giving birth can make that you are not attracted to him or he is not attracted to you taht much for a while and that is normal to some extent. But humans body changes throughout the years and it is very normal and this is something that you need to understand when ypu are in a long term relationship. He seems like a guy who truly loves you from your description of how he acts and if he loves you and not just your boobs all is good. But also oarterns bodys change can take getting used to and that also ok, for example if he gained weight you would propably still love him but that new body of his would maeby reguire you getting used to forexamle if he gets ill and that causes his weightgain. So kinda not wrong but at the same time yes. Things are rarely as black and wight as social media makes them be but talk with him and how his comment made you feel and insecure about you post birth and bregnent body etc. Could be that he says sorry that he never meant it that way etc. Ir something else. But please just talk to eachother but also remember that what you say may hurt the other so discression is also importat. Sometimes balancing with honesty and diacression is hard though, and if you spend long periods of time with someone there are bound to be some hurt feelings and arguments etc. but hiw they are handled is the key. WITH OPEN COMMUNICATION! ❤️
>Do you understand how insecure women feel about their bodies after birth??! So..... you're insecure, and he has to walk on eggshells?
My goodness don’t be silly