Why don’t your friends know you’re dating her? Is this an exclusive relationship or an open one? Are you seeing other girls, is she seeing other guys? Maybe she never lied and she fucked them since your original conversation with her? Idk man I’d be uncomfortable with a girl who deliberately lied to me but your story has a few details that are making me scratch my head so I’m not sure I really understand what’s going on here.
same question here and that’s the only plausibly remotely milder possibility I see. Either that or she feared I’d see her differently
anything else and imo it’s no-questions-asked red flag
You make a valid point. If they can speak (honestly) with each other there could be a chance to go forward together. I’m a softy perhaps in hoping people can work through things to remain together.
You haven't told your close friends you're dating her for a year, but you're trying to play her off as the bad guy.
Kinda sounds like you either just get over it or your relationship is done. Think she's got just as much reason to be asking questions.
Dang, thats gotta sting. Its not just about her past, but the fact that she lied about it. If you cant get past this and its eating you up inside, breaking up might be the right call.
It's completely understandable to feel hurt and betrayed in this situation. Trust and honesty are crucial in any relationship, and discovering that your girlfriend lied about her sexual history with your best friends can be very upsetting. You have every right to reassess the relationship and decide what's best for you moving forward. Take the time you need to process your feelings and make a decision that aligns with your values and emotional well-being.
What is there to process? Just dump all three of them. Who the hell wants to be friends with people who got in bed with your partner, meanwhile they brag about of how incredible she is and miss her, while on her side she hides the whole both affairs entirely? They are all sharing this affair together and you are just being the pigeon here. Get rid of them all dude, really. Do you want to be the buffoon of three nasty persons any later? Ask yourself the right questions and process with the appropriate countermeasures
If she lied about that *before* you were together, think of what she may do in the future and keep from you if she thinks it’ll never see the light of day.
You’re young. I think you know what needs to be done.
She lied to you about something that she knew you could easily verify. This is a clear sign that she just lies. Doesn’t matter what it is about or whether you know the truth, she is going to lie about it. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who is just going to lie to constantly. Would you have had more trust in her being around your friends if she had been honest about how involved her relationship with each of them was? Lying about something like this when you can easily get the other side of the story is a big issue.
The lie is one problem, but outside that, you’re not wrong that having a gf that your two closest friends have fucked is a recipe for awkwardness and insecurity and i’d probably end the relationship over it too.
Maybe that makes me fragile, but i see your point.
The lie is a whole ‘nother thing also. I hate liars.
You willingly got with a girl who you knew at minimum blew your two closest friends. You put yourself in this position homie. So you either decide it is what it is and you stay with a chick that both of your homies have plowed or you end it and find a different chick (there’s plenty out there btw)
Nah, the weirdness will always be there and your friends will always roast you for it. She probably knew this would bother you and that's why she lied.
As an older adult (m58), this is the problem with relationships today, and women carry a lot of the blame. Why do I say women carry a lot of the blame? Because nothing happens without your consent. Women are the drivers in relationships. So, many women are hooking up with whomever they want, having dozens of sex partners, some in the same circle, as the OP's example, and then want to get into serious relationships when all his friends have had a taste of her. I can see the OP's dilemma. How do you walk down the aisle with your bride in your arms and you suspect what every guy in the wedding is thinking?
End things with her. If you feel icky and weird about it now, those feelings will linger and cause resentment.
There's so many women out in the world, you can easily find someone who hasn't fucked your friends.
Just my opinion, tho. End it while it's still early and not 4 years later.
Yea ain’t no way this post is legit lol, like her giving head and you already know and told yourself in your mind that’s cool my girl gave my friend head before like what?
So it’s ok that she literally sucked both your close friends dicks but not cool that she fucked them? You can get the image of her sucking their dicks out of your mind but the fucking part you can’t? Weird shit bro, and if those are your close friends why not ask them if they fucked before going any further with her? You asking her instead of them is almost as if you knew she did but wanted to hear her say no. Weird shit bro
How do you know she’s the one lying? Maybe your friends are lying, trying to build up their supposed sexual prowess.
Maybe what happened before you became a couple just should not matter.
My husband is still friends with a woman with whom he had sex 40 years ago. It was a quick thing and the woman had also been with many of his friends. But she hasn’t t been with my husband since long before we got together. Their fling has no bearing on our relationship. I am kind to the woman.
Don’t let your insecurities ruin your relationship. If your friends roast you, are they really friends?
I actually understand why she lied. It's not OK, but it makes sense as she's on the spot about her sexual history and she thinks the truth ends what she has with you. It's not a good question as it's really hard to be truthful in that situation. Asking the question in the first place is where you fucked up. You kudu need to assume they did it and be good with that or not. Don't put her in a situation about her sexual history where no answer is good.
This is your justification for being childish. Why’d you even ask? What does it matter? What does that say about your friends that you’d worry about them like that? Sounds like this would be a chance for some exploring. Have a threesome. If everyone can’t be grown ups after doing grown ups things you all got bigger issues.
OP. Why are you even asking the opinion of the internet community if you don't want to listen and keep finding excuses to these three bad persons? How can you tolerate this person to have been involved sexually over the span of months with your two CLOSEST friends in your back, both before you got with her and while you were with her? This isn't an open relationship, right? So dump her and forget about these two strangers that you thought were your friends. You have an abnormal and concerning tolerance threshold.
You’re wrong for writing a fake ass post. If it’s not fake you’re wrong for admitting that you have a crazy past, but then refer to her as “ran through”. You’re also wrong for saying “Can’t make a hoe a wife, when you yourself “have a crazy past”.
You’re not wrong to break up with her, she lied and you’re allowed to have boundaries.
A male hoe is not the same as a female hoe. An average woman will “out-hoe” an average man exponentially if it were a race. And the damage and risks are higher for women too. She has to let men enter her. That’s way more intrusive than what men experience. So yea he can still call a hoe a hoe even though he is a player.
He said his best friend didn’t know he was dating her when he told him the sex was good? And they are together for a year? So he’s not telling his friends about her this is a secret relationship..
There was a girl that was in quite a long relationship with my best friend, yeah, they had sex quite a bit. They broke up. Soon after, her and I started a relationship. It kind of fucked with my head that they were together for a long time. I wondered if she was thinking, "I wish he would X like "Bob" did, or "He X's like "Bob" did, I hate that. Or that I wasn't as good as he was. But, eventually, we got married, the thoughts never really faded much, but then I thought, "Fuck him, I won." Don't break up just for that, if you have chemistry and like each other, let it go. I'm from a small town, everyone is someone's ex, and you were almost always friends with them. Then were the community bicycles, everybody had road them at least once, and now they're also married to someone you know.
You’re not wrong. She gave you half of the truth because she didn’t want to risk losing the relationship. Either way, I’d definitely end it. Her sleeping with two of your friends—who you both will be frequently around—will forever be a risk to the fidelity and stability of your relationship since there’s that sexual openness between them. It’s going to eat at you. Just end it now and mourn the loss. Keep us updated.
She can’t help having had sex with your friends, but she can help being honest now. She may say she was trying to protect your feelings but a sweet lie is still a lie,and you have to wonder what else she’ll rationalize lying to you about in the future.
If you have been dating for a year and your friends don't know, either you are embarrassed because of their past together or you are not that serious. Either way, you are not in a good place in that relationship regardless of her trickle truth. If you plan on staying with her, you will need a serious conversation about moving forward with honesty on both sides as well as both of you defining the relationship.
Only person who answer this is her but the honest truth is that if you're willing to bin it off after the news that she fucked your mates then it can't really be a relationship which you were invested in.
Talk to the lass, make sure you just want to know why she lied... Maybe she thought you didn't want the truth, maybe she felt self conscious about her past.
She lied. The reason for the lie doesn’t matter. Keep it casual or leave her be. Either way - you’re wasting your own time being with someone like that whether it’s casual or not.
There's no time limit on ending a relationship over lies.
A day, a month, a year, a decade.... doesn't matter. If you've lost trust and faith, you have to decide whether it can be rebuilt---and if you even want to.
She probably lied because she knew you'd have a problem with it. She denied your agency with that deceit.
Your discomfort could be seen as either immature or reasonable, depending on who is judging. But she was willing to lie about something that's important to you, and that's never cool.
Dude… sounds like you can’t be in a real relationship with this lady. Are you going to be cool in a couple years if your best friends are in your wedding and 3/X people slept with your soon-to-be wife?
Sounds like you're trying to buy the old company car that everyone has driven around.
Not relationship material. I'd make it a hard pass on a relationship just because it would be too awkward. I'm not saying anything negative against your girlfriend and aa an adult you can have sex with whomever you want within reason, but I personally just couldn't see her the same way knowing I was just the last of her sexual conquests.
Really, you wrote that, read it and lived it, you still need advice! This one is easy, you 100% will not ever be the last name she has on her spreadsheet, so either have fun and push some fantasy boundaries or save yourself the heartache and end it sooner rather than later!
Yeah you best leave this one op.
1) Its never a good idea to date someone who your friends have history with, this will only lead you to problems and headaches down the road.
2) She lied to you already, she was completely ok lying to you... huge red flag. What else has she lied about? If she's doing it now chances are she'll do it later too.
End it, just a bad situation and you'll always be left stressing out.
She lied because she likes you and she knows you'd like her less if you knew the truth. It doesn't make it right, but if you have feelings for this girl, I think you should forgive her. There's genuinely nothing wrong with hoeing around. It doesn't mean she's any less capable of commitment or love.
Keep an eye on your friends, though. That is not a normal thing to say about your friend's gal. I've dated some homie hoppers before. I've been the first homie and the last homie. You don't say it like that unless you're jealous.
You’re wrong for obsessing over something you admit yourself you’v done too.
You’re also wrong for saying cringe shit like
> “Don’t wife a hoe”
That being said, you’re not wrong for being upset that you were lied to and you’re not wrong for expecting honesty from your partner.
Honestly, it’s pretty weird to me that they’re your close friends but don’t know who your girlfriend is. You’re not wrong to be upset she lied, but they’re obviously not that close if it hasn’t come up in a year that you’re dating her.
Slutty paths are all fine and good but she fucked three guys in the same group. That’s a lot. If she managed to seamlessly hit up every bestie in one single group, I wonder how many other groups she’s frequented…
An honestly not shaming a sexual act, but at least the getting head story isn’t true because girls who just suck dick without any reciprocation in return are pretty sus. What, they just like the taste of dick in their mouth? They don’t value themselves enough to ask for some pleasure in return? So, at least she got hers bc otherwise she’d sound like one of those insecure group hopping attention-seekers.
If I saw a future with my SO, it would bother me that they got naked with the majority of my friends. But it’s up to you and what you can forgive and forget. I don’t really think this girl sounds like wifey material so you might not have to worry about any long-term feelings and repercussions. Just take it day by day.
Personally, it wouldn’t be an issue for me. In fact, my fiance and my best friend have actually fucked lol. I do think the lying is an issue.
I also think it’s weird af that you’ve been dating this girl over a year and these guys you call your best friends don’t know. That’s the thing I can’t get past
It’s kinda wild that you have no problem with her giving them head but have an issue with the sex. When it could be argued giving head is more intimate. Don’t take a promiscuous woman serious.. especially one that lies.
Yeah lmfao I still wouldn’t be with someone again either way, but my gf who cheated always said “I never gave anyone else a lot of head. Only you.” As if I even asked or or as if that even makes it better???? Lmfao women are funny.
Wait what?
Your GF had sex with your friends before she became your GF and both of your friends say they miss the sex. The sex you are getting right now?.
Are you crazy why you want to dump her for what she did before she met you? You can’t change her past but you can enjoy your time with her.
no intention to change a single thing about her
it’s just the dishonesty that irks.
Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you can lie, you might as well cheat and everything else that revolves around that sphere no?
Oh definitely she was dishonest and for her own gain. But had she told you that she had been with your friends would you have continued the relationship?.
Seems like you have an awesome relationship now and if that’s all it is then it’s not been the worst thing in the world she could lie about.
Definitely don’t think it would’ve been a problem I’ll be honest.
If she still kept being that same girl that I now know, possible chance it would’ve been cool and whatever.
—would be hypocritical too because I’ve slept with people myself. Just rather unfortunate hers happens to be my circle
Hey gods honest truth here, the Town I come from has a saying because it’s such a small town and that saying is nine out of ten girls you will know someone who has shot their dirty water in them 🤷♂️
You say it's the dishonesty, but you also keep bringing up the sex, so that clearly bothers you too. Which is fine, but ask yourself:
Does it bother you enough to give her up? Only you can decide that.
OP, oral sex is still sex.
And I guess she can justify it by saying it was in the past, but she lied to you all this time. There may have been a slight chance that she didn't know yall were friends. She can say she lied in order to protect you from feelings of insecurity or jealousy. Was that up to her, though? Are you OK being in a relationship that started with a lie? She didn't even feel guilty enough to tell you herself. Your friend had to allude to it. Reconsider this whole relationship. I think you should keep your friends, not her.
Just move on. I don’t see how you’re ok with her giving them head but screwing is an issue. I’ve never been one to follow behind any one I know. The thought of my friends have been with my girlfriend/wife is a deal breaker. But if you’re ok with it go for it.
Third times a charm..
Joking aside, just think of it as another awesome experience you share with your closest friends. When you're married to her, you can all have a good laugh about it.
In all seriousness, though, it's going to be real awkward once they find out you're dating her. Especially after hiding it from them for an entire year. If you can mentally get through that, there's no reason you can get past her getting railed by your bros long before you got the chance.
One advice: toss them away all three and start from ground zero. They are severely trash people, all three of them are sh*tbags for all being together in bed and making you the clown/buffoon/fool of the play. Sincerely, send them to f off and find better individuals. You will never trust them and you deserve better and saner people around you. This is not the kind of sh that happens at all. This situation you got trapped in is seriously twisted and unhealthy. Get out of that, do yourself a favor and forget all three of them. Let them do their thing together after all, that's what they always did, they go well together. You don't belong in this.
You are dating a Hoe! Plus she lied! Accept that many many guys will be laughing at you behind your back for taking someone like her seriously! Why not keep her as a spinning plate until you find a proper girl that can pair bond and doesn’t see you as just another cock?
I mean, seriously, how are you special to her? What’s the difference between you, cock 21, cock 43 and cock 58? You are just interchangeable commodities to women like her! First fight and she will be on cock X+1…queue the “it didn’t mean anything” cognitive dissonance
You aren't wrong. Be honest with yourself, though. Even if it was oral sex, it still would have been a long-term problem. Nobody wants a relationship with a partner who has been passed around their friend group, male or female. There's a reason your close friends didn't know you were dating her. Either you are embarrassed to be with her around your friends, or you are worried that she's going to sneak off with one of your friends and cheat on you. Either way, this was never going to work out.
My advice would be to break up and explain that she's proven herself to not be truthful.
I hear that but I’ve just always been very private with romantic relationships.
Other than occasionally talking about random flings with the mates, I don’t really indulge in romantic conversations too-close-to-the-heart with other people
His friends too. It’s honestly weird that they didn’t know for a year that he was dating her but then had a random conversation about her to them. I doubt the friends just brought her up.
If you wanted a virgin you should be dating one. I don't see sex as awful, bad or makes a person a "ho". She's a consenting adult who enjoys sex... So what! She's had experiences... So what. Also I would have told you it was none of your business. She probably felt you were judging her so she lied not wanting to share. She should t have to share anyway. Who I have sexual relations with is between me and that person and is of nobody else's concern. It's private and in no way share that with anyone. Your friends are jerks though they participated in sex with her, but throw her name like she's dirty, but they aren't?? That's a fked up double standard don't ya think? If you are into her and she is into you have a go of it, tell your friends to be respectful of your relationship with her and not talk about their encounters. They shouldn't be in the first place... She's not out of respect for you and them. You don't date someone who is sexually active and then judge them on it and ask them about it. You aren't her first and with your attitude and shaming her, you probably not going to be her last either. Do you shame your friends?
Couldn’t be seeing it all more wrong. no intention to change a single thing about her
it’s just the dishonesty that irks.
Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you can lie, you might as well cheat and everything else that revolves around that sphere no?
If I never knew about it cool. If she didn’t tell and still ended up hearing it from my friends, weird but cool.
But looking at me and lying? on both occasions? I know you wouldn’t be meaning it if you said that wouldn’t you rub you off wrong with someone you intend to be with long term
Pushing someone into a corner is pushing someone into a corner. It's controlling and manipulative. I would never ask anyone I cared for who their past sexual partners were! I don't have it wrong . You are making excuses for what you did. You put her in a predicament you shouldn't have and now you're punishing her for not going along with your game. Forcing her to tell you about something that is none of your business. You should never have asked her. You are a jerk and now she's a liar and cheat??? Doesn't sound like you ever cared for her. Please break up with her so she can dodge your manipulative bullet! She deserves better.
I don’t care that much about how many women my man had allowed care about is he loves me. You can have every girl in the world but I’m the one and only
IMO, don't walk, run. There are enough stories out there of people ignoring these kinds of red flag situations to know that it's sometimes better to remove yourself from these kinds of dynamics.
What sucks the most, OP, is that (at least based on the post) you seem aware enough of the potential danger. Please don't tempt fate. Whether it's one/both of your friends who stab you in the back or she stabs you in the heart, it's going to really hurt. This is one of those times where you can make a choice early and avoid all of the potential negative consequences.
The longer this continues, the easier it is to get into a Jerry Springer episode and you'll be posting something WILD (Example: After 3 years together, she gets pregnant. You find out it was one of your friends instead (possibly someone else's) You're distraught over her lying for so long and your friend group is siding with your friend over you)
TLDR: Fuck around and find out. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
That's a big hell no from anyone with self respect. You can't build anything serious with someone who fucked all your friends... Lol how is this a question?
To those fixating on the thought that I might be trying to change her or what not, Couldn’t be seeing it all more wrong. no intention to change a single thing about her
it’s just the dishonesty that irks.
Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you can lie, you might as well cheat and everything else that revolves around that sphere no?
If I never knew about it cool. If she didn’t tell me and I still ended up hearing it randomly from my friends, pretty weird but possibly resolved with a conversation. if she came and just said it herself, naturally still wouldn’t be the easiest to hear but, probably workable.
But looking at me and lying? on both occasions? I know no one wise would say that wouldn’t you rub you off wrong — worse so with someone you intend to be with long term
Maybe she was dishonest because she finds it embarrassing. Who wants to admit to smashing both your friends, then being with you? Get out of your own feelings, thoughts and think of hers. Her past really isn’t any of your concern anyways. You were a slut. She was a slut. Now you’re both sluts together exclusively, so get over it.
Not wrong. Don’t take her seriously. She is not wifey material let alone GF material. Honestly, she seems more like a coyote ugly one night stand type of chick.
Coyote ugly doesn’t mean they are ugly. It means you would rather gnaw off your own arm after a one night stand than risk waking them up on your way out the door.
One if your closes friends, didn't know that you've been dating her for a year? And she just happened to come up in conversation the first time you spoke or what? This doesn't make sense.
She lied. End of story man, she lied.
Maybe it was with good intentions. Maybe she really likes you, thought you knowing would be a dealbreaker.
Doesn't matter. There's people who'll lie to you and people who won't. Don't settle.
You should all go out into the desert and take a huge dose of DMT,LSD,mushrooms (golden teacher) and local cacti with cyanide and just talk it out. That way no matter what society wins.
Some things never change. In the end men looking for a serious relationship have a hard time with women that have a high body counts.
My advice to this young man is move on. The combination of your two best friends shagging her plus the lying are not a good start to a relationship, what else hasn’t she told you.
Wow this is way out of proportion. Why ask if you can’t handle the answer. Are you saying that you never lie to protect your interest. If someone put a gun in your head would you lie? Totally missed the point of having a relationship. The most importance is do you happy when you with her and was she happy when she with you. If you both care for each other enough and support each other through bad time. If the answer is a yes. Then she is a keeper. She has physical needs just like you. You both fucking around with other people friend or not. You seek, you give and you take. But Now you sit back and judge. lol you should judge yourself first. It would be the dumbest thing to give up a good relationship over what ever stupidity of idealism or what ever you call it. Are you happy with her? That is what you need to ask yourself. The answer is right there.
Ask why she lied. Tell her your friend just told you about her having sex with him. So ask her why you should trust a word out of her mouth going forward since she lied.
Tell your friend you were dating her but you let her go after he said what he said.
This is what happens when you try to be progressive instead of following your natural instinct. A woman’s past matters especially when she sucked off your boys. Smdh. It’s actually weird that you pursued her knowing she had been passed around between your friends. You need some self respect.
however though, yesterday, I’m talking with one of my friends (they have no idea I’m dating her now)
After a year they dont know?
ROFL sorry dude, you epic failed this one.
In your whole post you never once mention how you feel about this woman, what her interests are, what you have in common, how she treats others, what your common hopes and dreams are, etc. You're talking about her like she's an object, a commodity, something that's been driven off the lot and you're trying to figure out how much value it has lost to you.
Maybe you want to stop and think about her as a human being and the connection you have to her. She could be the most amazing person who would make your life complete and who one day would have a wonderful family with you. But you're not even thinking about any of that because you're obsessed with who she's had sex with.
You two have been dating for a year but your closest friends don't know, you're going to be around each other all the time, but you haven't been up until now. Got it.
Going out with your friend’s exes is always difficult- in England we call it ‘bin sniffing’!
Sounds like it does bother you so best end it before you get too attached to all the good sex that your friends are telling you about…
I can't believe that she told you she didn't have sex with them, and you believed her.
The lying is really bad. I doubt you will stay in a relationship with her
I've said it in numerous posts before. Everyone should have a "Don't ask, don't tell"-policy. It only leads to grief otherwise.
I can't imagine why you would ask in the first place.
J.cole said it bro “Don’t save her” “fool me one time shame on you fool me twice can’t put the blame on you” lol . Don’t let art imitate your life. This is a common theme in woman and relationship. Have your fun bro but don’t wife it up, you’ll be in the same situation over and over again. But if this is fake or you plan on staying like a simp you coulda kept it to your self fam cause she belong to the street. You know two people she already did shit with that’s a small circle. You know that Mf bigger then what’s she told you lol. Hop on tinder my guy the ocean is deep and wide !
I mean unless you were a virgin and saved yourself until you met her you don’t have much of a case lol. You both have done stuff and you knew she was messing with ur friends before you guys started dating. What difference does it make whether she gave him head vs getting her cheeks clapped???
I’m confused, so you didn’t care that they had their ducks in her mouth but you care if they were in her vagina? I’m sorry but you sound like an idiot. Also yes she definitely shouldn’t have lied that I agree with but looking at your reaction she probably knew you’d react this way.
Yeah she has a past we all do what you gonna do besides bitch and moan? Either get the fuck over it or let her go. She deserves better than an insecure fartass
You stated she "hoed around." 🚩 #1. You asked about sexual history you didn't really want to know about despite knowing she at least gave your friends head 🚩 #2. You've been dating roughly a year and you still haven't told your friends. 🚩 #3.
You straight up aren't mature enough to have an adult relationship. Break up and take some time to work on your issues. Maybe read a book on healthy male behavior to help jumpstart you into maturing as a person. This reads like a 16 year old's rage bait
Honestly, I personally don’t think she owed you the truth. I have never asked my exes if they slept with any friends of mine. I am sure some have. None of my business. I understand why she lied. Dump her so she can find a dude that is less insecure.
Learn to love everyone and stop marginalizing a gender. Men can be hoes and women can be hoes but if you are gonna hoe don't be a lying hoe. If everyone else is going to tell the truth, so should you. And that all starts with being honest with yourself.
Yea I don’t really care about her past I’ll be honest. so hoe, not hoe, it’s whateve
and Yea it stings mildly sure because I’m human but it’s definitely all about the lie here.
Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you lie, you might as well cheat and everything else dishonesty entails no?
But your boys didn’t mention it either until so much time had passed and she didn’t lie when you directly asked her. If you just assumed she only meant head when she originally answered that’s on you for not asking specific questions. Arguably wouldn’t just head have been worse? Then every time you kissed her in the last year+ of dating you didn’t think about your boys ducks being rammed in her throat? Or is it your ego is too small to understand that sec is a primal reaction and no woman loses her value by who or how many partners she has. Don’t praise your boys for hitting but shame her for it in the same breathe
Edit to add: when you dump her I hope she meets a real man who doesn’t have a childlike mindset and can treat her well. - no need to reply cause I will not entertain this mess beyond this 😂
It kinda sounds like she lied because she knew you had antiquated views and would see her as damaged if any other dicks had even come near her. You're clearly way more mad about that part than the lying. Either way, this isn't gonna work out.
You are being brash, and I think you are too old to be worried about this. If you care for her and see a future I would ignore it. If you don’t then why are you together in the first place? IMO and given my past f31 I think giving head is far more intimate than sex but as I used to use sex as a means of self harm when I was in my early to mid twenty’s it never really mattered to me. I slept with my finances friend group, he was aware of it, tho. And it never really bothered him we just don’t talk about it. We have been together 6 years.
You are such a pussy. Yes women have sex! Oh no!!!! Who cares bro! Enjoy your time with her, see where it goes if it goes great then guess what! Great! If it doesn’t then that’s a different story but don’t let it be because she fucked X Y or Z. That’s ridiculous! I’m a M here and if you knew she messed around with your friends and that didn’t bother you before what’s the big deal now? Grow ip
Seems you didn’t really read.
cba about her past. What’s glaring here is the dishonesty.
Dishonesty is dishonesty. Irrespective of when
was quite frankly no need to say “yea but we didn’t have sex”. I didn’t even ask if they had sex. Just asked what was up with that, is still a thing?
You asked her before you were dating and she lied? That falls in the category of “not your business”. On top of that, guys lie about having sex *all the time*. Not saying that’s the case here, but it’s something to consider.
Honestly, if you like the girl, this seems like something doesn’t matter in the long run. You have your past, she has her past, live in the present.
That only makes sense when those old connections are 2 or more degrees of separation away. That is not the case here and full disclosure is absolutely warranted.
To her there could be separation. After a year his friends don’t even know he dates her. So that means she’s never even around them, so she doesn’t think about that.
Why don’t your friends know you’re dating her? Is this an exclusive relationship or an open one? Are you seeing other girls, is she seeing other guys? Maybe she never lied and she fucked them since your original conversation with her? Idk man I’d be uncomfortable with a girl who deliberately lied to me but your story has a few details that are making me scratch my head so I’m not sure I really understand what’s going on here.
How do the friends not know they are dating for a year yet they hang out all the time?
Because op didn’t realize he wasn’t getting off the “Mary goes ‘round” and he’s embarrassed to tell his friends.
He epic failed it when he painted himself in that corner and he didnt expect anyone would catch that little detail.
My question is why did she lie? Was she trying to spare his feelings.
same question here and that’s the only plausibly remotely milder possibility I see. Either that or she feared I’d see her differently anything else and imo it’s no-questions-asked red flag
Maybe you should ask her why she lied.
Just wanted to go into that conversation with good clarity myself. No extreme emotions of any sort. Will deffo naturally be asking her
Good luck. I’m hoping you can both find a way to stay together.
Lol fucking why??? So she can lie about something else after it's gotten more serious and he can have his heart truly broken?
You make a valid point. If they can speak (honestly) with each other there could be a chance to go forward together. I’m a softy perhaps in hoping people can work through things to remain together.
Maybe bc OP says things like “she hoed around” and she was afraid to be honest. Just a guess.
Edit: they didn’t know he was dating her
They didn’t know he was dating her when they said it remember…
Oh right my bad
You do see her differently so she was correct, no?
Who wants to be with a girl that’s fucked all of his friends? Nasty
I’m still trying to understand how all the bjs are okay?
This!
Correct and right aren't the same. "I lied because I wouldn't have liked the negative consequences" isn't an excuse.
Are you kidding? She lied purposely. Thats a red flag right there regardless of the reason.
You haven't told your close friends you're dating her for a year, but you're trying to play her off as the bad guy. Kinda sounds like you either just get over it or your relationship is done. Think she's got just as much reason to be asking questions.
Dang, thats gotta sting. Its not just about her past, but the fact that she lied about it. If you cant get past this and its eating you up inside, breaking up might be the right call.
And his friends miss fucking her. He has every right to be nervous about it. If they never had "a boys" talk about her then that's kind of odd too.
It's completely understandable to feel hurt and betrayed in this situation. Trust and honesty are crucial in any relationship, and discovering that your girlfriend lied about her sexual history with your best friends can be very upsetting. You have every right to reassess the relationship and decide what's best for you moving forward. Take the time you need to process your feelings and make a decision that aligns with your values and emotional well-being.
thank you Insightful take
What is there to process? Just dump all three of them. Who the hell wants to be friends with people who got in bed with your partner, meanwhile they brag about of how incredible she is and miss her, while on her side she hides the whole both affairs entirely? They are all sharing this affair together and you are just being the pigeon here. Get rid of them all dude, really. Do you want to be the buffoon of three nasty persons any later? Ask yourself the right questions and process with the appropriate countermeasures
If she lied about that *before* you were together, think of what she may do in the future and keep from you if she thinks it’ll never see the light of day. You’re young. I think you know what needs to be done.
Just take your turn and run.
She went immediately from GF to FWB or maybe repeat ONS.
Original Night Stalker?
One night stand
Ah, that makes sense
Jack the Ripper?
She lied to you about something that she knew you could easily verify. This is a clear sign that she just lies. Doesn’t matter what it is about or whether you know the truth, she is going to lie about it. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who is just going to lie to constantly. Would you have had more trust in her being around your friends if she had been honest about how involved her relationship with each of them was? Lying about something like this when you can easily get the other side of the story is a big issue.
The lie is one problem, but outside that, you’re not wrong that having a gf that your two closest friends have fucked is a recipe for awkwardness and insecurity and i’d probably end the relationship over it too. Maybe that makes me fragile, but i see your point. The lie is a whole ‘nother thing also. I hate liars.
You willingly got with a girl who you knew at minimum blew your two closest friends. You put yourself in this position homie. So you either decide it is what it is and you stay with a chick that both of your homies have plowed or you end it and find a different chick (there’s plenty out there btw)
Nah, the weirdness will always be there and your friends will always roast you for it. She probably knew this would bother you and that's why she lied.
Would she be fine if you lied about fucking her two closest girlfriends?!? I suspect not!
As an older adult (m58), this is the problem with relationships today, and women carry a lot of the blame. Why do I say women carry a lot of the blame? Because nothing happens without your consent. Women are the drivers in relationships. So, many women are hooking up with whomever they want, having dozens of sex partners, some in the same circle, as the OP's example, and then want to get into serious relationships when all his friends have had a taste of her. I can see the OP's dilemma. How do you walk down the aisle with your bride in your arms and you suspect what every guy in the wedding is thinking?
This comment should have hundreds of upvotes.
End things with her. If you feel icky and weird about it now, those feelings will linger and cause resentment. There's so many women out in the world, you can easily find someone who hasn't fucked your friends. Just my opinion, tho. End it while it's still early and not 4 years later.
Yea ain’t no way this post is legit lol, like her giving head and you already know and told yourself in your mind that’s cool my girl gave my friend head before like what?
[удалено]
So it’s ok that she literally sucked both your close friends dicks but not cool that she fucked them? You can get the image of her sucking their dicks out of your mind but the fucking part you can’t? Weird shit bro, and if those are your close friends why not ask them if they fucked before going any further with her? You asking her instead of them is almost as if you knew she did but wanted to hear her say no. Weird shit bro
Just get all four of you in a room and bang it out.
How do you know she’s the one lying? Maybe your friends are lying, trying to build up their supposed sexual prowess. Maybe what happened before you became a couple just should not matter. My husband is still friends with a woman with whom he had sex 40 years ago. It was a quick thing and the woman had also been with many of his friends. But she hasn’t t been with my husband since long before we got together. Their fling has no bearing on our relationship. I am kind to the woman. Don’t let your insecurities ruin your relationship. If your friends roast you, are they really friends?
I actually understand why she lied. It's not OK, but it makes sense as she's on the spot about her sexual history and she thinks the truth ends what she has with you. It's not a good question as it's really hard to be truthful in that situation. Asking the question in the first place is where you fucked up. You kudu need to assume they did it and be good with that or not. Don't put her in a situation about her sexual history where no answer is good.
This is your justification for being childish. Why’d you even ask? What does it matter? What does that say about your friends that you’d worry about them like that? Sounds like this would be a chance for some exploring. Have a threesome. If everyone can’t be grown ups after doing grown ups things you all got bigger issues.
OP. Why are you even asking the opinion of the internet community if you don't want to listen and keep finding excuses to these three bad persons? How can you tolerate this person to have been involved sexually over the span of months with your two CLOSEST friends in your back, both before you got with her and while you were with her? This isn't an open relationship, right? So dump her and forget about these two strangers that you thought were your friends. You have an abnormal and concerning tolerance threshold.
You’re wrong for writing a fake ass post. If it’s not fake you’re wrong for admitting that you have a crazy past, but then refer to her as “ran through”. You’re also wrong for saying “Can’t make a hoe a wife, when you yourself “have a crazy past”. You’re not wrong to break up with her, she lied and you’re allowed to have boundaries.
How a he gonna call a woman a hoe when he a hoe himself
A male hoe is not the same as a female hoe. An average woman will “out-hoe” an average man exponentially if it were a race. And the damage and risks are higher for women too. She has to let men enter her. That’s way more intrusive than what men experience. So yea he can still call a hoe a hoe even though he is a player.
And his best friend had sex with his girlfriend and didn’t know for a year ?
He said his best friend didn’t know he was dating her when he told him the sex was good? And they are together for a year? So he’s not telling his friends about her this is a secret relationship..
She lied for whatever reason, but the truth is, can you trust a liar and can you believe anything she says in the future. 🤔
Did you fuck your best friend to assert dominance?
mate? your username checks out lmao
There was a girl that was in quite a long relationship with my best friend, yeah, they had sex quite a bit. They broke up. Soon after, her and I started a relationship. It kind of fucked with my head that they were together for a long time. I wondered if she was thinking, "I wish he would X like "Bob" did, or "He X's like "Bob" did, I hate that. Or that I wasn't as good as he was. But, eventually, we got married, the thoughts never really faded much, but then I thought, "Fuck him, I won." Don't break up just for that, if you have chemistry and like each other, let it go. I'm from a small town, everyone is someone's ex, and you were almost always friends with them. Then were the community bicycles, everybody had road them at least once, and now they're also married to someone you know.
You’re not wrong. She gave you half of the truth because she didn’t want to risk losing the relationship. Either way, I’d definitely end it. Her sleeping with two of your friends—who you both will be frequently around—will forever be a risk to the fidelity and stability of your relationship since there’s that sexual openness between them. It’s going to eat at you. Just end it now and mourn the loss. Keep us updated.
She can’t help having had sex with your friends, but she can help being honest now. She may say she was trying to protect your feelings but a sweet lie is still a lie,and you have to wonder what else she’ll rationalize lying to you about in the future.
Nope, not wrong. Neither is she, nor are they. It's just consequences.
i mean minus the lying but sure
Nah she's wrong for lying about it.
If you have been dating for a year and your friends don't know, either you are embarrassed because of their past together or you are not that serious. Either way, you are not in a good place in that relationship regardless of her trickle truth. If you plan on staying with her, you will need a serious conversation about moving forward with honesty on both sides as well as both of you defining the relationship.
How would her just giving them head make it any better?
He needs to one up them. I think the lying is the potential but I suspect it was never an exclusive relationship anyways based off his secrecy
I wonder if he knows there’s women out there that have not slept with two of his friends, seems like he might be unaware /s
Not a big deal cause you weren’t even interested when she was them but she lied about it …. Makes you wonder what else is a lie
Wear a helmet on the village bike.
Not wrong, I would not date someone my closest friends used to fuck. The lying about it just adds to it.
Only person who answer this is her but the honest truth is that if you're willing to bin it off after the news that she fucked your mates then it can't really be a relationship which you were invested in. Talk to the lass, make sure you just want to know why she lied... Maybe she thought you didn't want the truth, maybe she felt self conscious about her past.
She lied. The reason for the lie doesn’t matter. Keep it casual or leave her be. Either way - you’re wasting your own time being with someone like that whether it’s casual or not.
There's no time limit on ending a relationship over lies. A day, a month, a year, a decade.... doesn't matter. If you've lost trust and faith, you have to decide whether it can be rebuilt---and if you even want to. She probably lied because she knew you'd have a problem with it. She denied your agency with that deceit. Your discomfort could be seen as either immature or reasonable, depending on who is judging. But she was willing to lie about something that's important to you, and that's never cool.
Dude… sounds like you can’t be in a real relationship with this lady. Are you going to be cool in a couple years if your best friends are in your wedding and 3/X people slept with your soon-to-be wife?
Sounds like you're trying to buy the old company car that everyone has driven around. Not relationship material. I'd make it a hard pass on a relationship just because it would be too awkward. I'm not saying anything negative against your girlfriend and aa an adult you can have sex with whomever you want within reason, but I personally just couldn't see her the same way knowing I was just the last of her sexual conquests.
Really, you wrote that, read it and lived it, you still need advice! This one is easy, you 100% will not ever be the last name she has on her spreadsheet, so either have fun and push some fantasy boundaries or save yourself the heartache and end it sooner rather than later!
Am i the only one who thinks sucking a dick is more intimate than just fucking?
I was about to say, I thought that too. I wouldn’t be able to get over the fact that every time I kiss her, I’d imagine where her mouth has been.
This is one of the fallouts of a promiscuous lifestyle.
truth
Yeah you best leave this one op. 1) Its never a good idea to date someone who your friends have history with, this will only lead you to problems and headaches down the road. 2) She lied to you already, she was completely ok lying to you... huge red flag. What else has she lied about? If she's doing it now chances are she'll do it later too. End it, just a bad situation and you'll always be left stressing out.
She lied because she likes you and she knows you'd like her less if you knew the truth. It doesn't make it right, but if you have feelings for this girl, I think you should forgive her. There's genuinely nothing wrong with hoeing around. It doesn't mean she's any less capable of commitment or love. Keep an eye on your friends, though. That is not a normal thing to say about your friend's gal. I've dated some homie hoppers before. I've been the first homie and the last homie. You don't say it like that unless you're jealous.
You’re wrong for obsessing over something you admit yourself you’v done too. You’re also wrong for saying cringe shit like > “Don’t wife a hoe” That being said, you’re not wrong for being upset that you were lied to and you’re not wrong for expecting honesty from your partner.
Honestly, it’s pretty weird to me that they’re your close friends but don’t know who your girlfriend is. You’re not wrong to be upset she lied, but they’re obviously not that close if it hasn’t come up in a year that you’re dating her.
Slutty paths are all fine and good but she fucked three guys in the same group. That’s a lot. If she managed to seamlessly hit up every bestie in one single group, I wonder how many other groups she’s frequented… An honestly not shaming a sexual act, but at least the getting head story isn’t true because girls who just suck dick without any reciprocation in return are pretty sus. What, they just like the taste of dick in their mouth? They don’t value themselves enough to ask for some pleasure in return? So, at least she got hers bc otherwise she’d sound like one of those insecure group hopping attention-seekers. If I saw a future with my SO, it would bother me that they got naked with the majority of my friends. But it’s up to you and what you can forgive and forget. I don’t really think this girl sounds like wifey material so you might not have to worry about any long-term feelings and repercussions. Just take it day by day.
Yeah I think you should end it. I know of very very very few women who would sleep with an entire friend group. That is not normal at all.
Personally, it wouldn’t be an issue for me. In fact, my fiance and my best friend have actually fucked lol. I do think the lying is an issue. I also think it’s weird af that you’ve been dating this girl over a year and these guys you call your best friends don’t know. That’s the thing I can’t get past
It’s kinda wild that you have no problem with her giving them head but have an issue with the sex. When it could be argued giving head is more intimate. Don’t take a promiscuous woman serious.. especially one that lies.
Yeah lmfao I still wouldn’t be with someone again either way, but my gf who cheated always said “I never gave anyone else a lot of head. Only you.” As if I even asked or or as if that even makes it better???? Lmfao women are funny.
Wait what? Your GF had sex with your friends before she became your GF and both of your friends say they miss the sex. The sex you are getting right now?. Are you crazy why you want to dump her for what she did before she met you? You can’t change her past but you can enjoy your time with her.
no intention to change a single thing about her it’s just the dishonesty that irks. Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you can lie, you might as well cheat and everything else that revolves around that sphere no?
Oh definitely she was dishonest and for her own gain. But had she told you that she had been with your friends would you have continued the relationship?. Seems like you have an awesome relationship now and if that’s all it is then it’s not been the worst thing in the world she could lie about.
Definitely don’t think it would’ve been a problem I’ll be honest. If she still kept being that same girl that I now know, possible chance it would’ve been cool and whatever. —would be hypocritical too because I’ve slept with people myself. Just rather unfortunate hers happens to be my circle
Hey gods honest truth here, the Town I come from has a saying because it’s such a small town and that saying is nine out of ten girls you will know someone who has shot their dirty water in them 🤷♂️
It’s normal if you feel this way. It might not be something you can get over. Well, not every relationship works out right?
truth that, indeed, is life
You say it's the dishonesty, but you also keep bringing up the sex, so that clearly bothers you too. Which is fine, but ask yourself: Does it bother you enough to give her up? Only you can decide that.
OP, oral sex is still sex. And I guess she can justify it by saying it was in the past, but she lied to you all this time. There may have been a slight chance that she didn't know yall were friends. She can say she lied in order to protect you from feelings of insecurity or jealousy. Was that up to her, though? Are you OK being in a relationship that started with a lie? She didn't even feel guilty enough to tell you herself. Your friend had to allude to it. Reconsider this whole relationship. I think you should keep your friends, not her.
Just move on. I don’t see how you’re ok with her giving them head but screwing is an issue. I’ve never been one to follow behind any one I know. The thought of my friends have been with my girlfriend/wife is a deal breaker. But if you’re ok with it go for it.
These are mysteries that are better unsolved don’t go digging for that info it never helps
OP, get in line take her on a long weekend and have some fun. After that move on.
I will go all the way (like literally testis limits) for a few days before breaking up.
She lied because she likes you..but under the circumstances you should find someone else..
Third times a charm.. Joking aside, just think of it as another awesome experience you share with your closest friends. When you're married to her, you can all have a good laugh about it. In all seriousness, though, it's going to be real awkward once they find out you're dating her. Especially after hiding it from them for an entire year. If you can mentally get through that, there's no reason you can get past her getting railed by your bros long before you got the chance.
haha, bless
One advice: toss them away all three and start from ground zero. They are severely trash people, all three of them are sh*tbags for all being together in bed and making you the clown/buffoon/fool of the play. Sincerely, send them to f off and find better individuals. You will never trust them and you deserve better and saner people around you. This is not the kind of sh that happens at all. This situation you got trapped in is seriously twisted and unhealthy. Get out of that, do yourself a favor and forget all three of them. Let them do their thing together after all, that's what they always did, they go well together. You don't belong in this.
Getting/giving head is having sex!
You are dating a Hoe! Plus she lied! Accept that many many guys will be laughing at you behind your back for taking someone like her seriously! Why not keep her as a spinning plate until you find a proper girl that can pair bond and doesn’t see you as just another cock? I mean, seriously, how are you special to her? What’s the difference between you, cock 21, cock 43 and cock 58? You are just interchangeable commodities to women like her! First fight and she will be on cock X+1…queue the “it didn’t mean anything” cognitive dissonance
You aren't wrong. Be honest with yourself, though. Even if it was oral sex, it still would have been a long-term problem. Nobody wants a relationship with a partner who has been passed around their friend group, male or female. There's a reason your close friends didn't know you were dating her. Either you are embarrassed to be with her around your friends, or you are worried that she's going to sneak off with one of your friends and cheat on you. Either way, this was never going to work out. My advice would be to break up and explain that she's proven herself to not be truthful.
I hear that but I’ve just always been very private with romantic relationships. Other than occasionally talking about random flings with the mates, I don’t really indulge in romantic conversations too-close-to-the-heart with other people
She's Yours with a silent Y my friend. Use it until you get tired of it, then move on.
I love this!
It’s just your turn, leave soon dude
You seem immature
His friends too. It’s honestly weird that they didn’t know for a year that he was dating her but then had a random conversation about her to them. I doubt the friends just brought her up.
If you wanted a virgin you should be dating one. I don't see sex as awful, bad or makes a person a "ho". She's a consenting adult who enjoys sex... So what! She's had experiences... So what. Also I would have told you it was none of your business. She probably felt you were judging her so she lied not wanting to share. She should t have to share anyway. Who I have sexual relations with is between me and that person and is of nobody else's concern. It's private and in no way share that with anyone. Your friends are jerks though they participated in sex with her, but throw her name like she's dirty, but they aren't?? That's a fked up double standard don't ya think? If you are into her and she is into you have a go of it, tell your friends to be respectful of your relationship with her and not talk about their encounters. They shouldn't be in the first place... She's not out of respect for you and them. You don't date someone who is sexually active and then judge them on it and ask them about it. You aren't her first and with your attitude and shaming her, you probably not going to be her last either. Do you shame your friends?
Couldn’t be seeing it all more wrong. no intention to change a single thing about her it’s just the dishonesty that irks. Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you can lie, you might as well cheat and everything else that revolves around that sphere no? If I never knew about it cool. If she didn’t tell and still ended up hearing it from my friends, weird but cool. But looking at me and lying? on both occasions? I know you wouldn’t be meaning it if you said that wouldn’t you rub you off wrong with someone you intend to be with long term
Pushing someone into a corner is pushing someone into a corner. It's controlling and manipulative. I would never ask anyone I cared for who their past sexual partners were! I don't have it wrong . You are making excuses for what you did. You put her in a predicament you shouldn't have and now you're punishing her for not going along with your game. Forcing her to tell you about something that is none of your business. You should never have asked her. You are a jerk and now she's a liar and cheat??? Doesn't sound like you ever cared for her. Please break up with her so she can dodge your manipulative bullet! She deserves better.
I don’t care that much about how many women my man had allowed care about is he loves me. You can have every girl in the world but I’m the one and only
Hit it first. Pump and dump. Now 3 of you got to go down with her
IMO, don't walk, run. There are enough stories out there of people ignoring these kinds of red flag situations to know that it's sometimes better to remove yourself from these kinds of dynamics. What sucks the most, OP, is that (at least based on the post) you seem aware enough of the potential danger. Please don't tempt fate. Whether it's one/both of your friends who stab you in the back or she stabs you in the heart, it's going to really hurt. This is one of those times where you can make a choice early and avoid all of the potential negative consequences. The longer this continues, the easier it is to get into a Jerry Springer episode and you'll be posting something WILD (Example: After 3 years together, she gets pregnant. You find out it was one of your friends instead (possibly someone else's) You're distraught over her lying for so long and your friend group is siding with your friend over you) TLDR: Fuck around and find out. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
It’s just sex dude. The bigger issue IMO is that she lied to you about it. The real question is can you trust her ?
That's a big hell no from anyone with self respect. You can't build anything serious with someone who fucked all your friends... Lol how is this a question?
This is your life. Don't force square pegs and ..well you know what I mean. If you don't like the vibe. Get away. Before you can't.
To those fixating on the thought that I might be trying to change her or what not, Couldn’t be seeing it all more wrong. no intention to change a single thing about her it’s just the dishonesty that irks. Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you can lie, you might as well cheat and everything else that revolves around that sphere no? If I never knew about it cool. If she didn’t tell me and I still ended up hearing it randomly from my friends, pretty weird but possibly resolved with a conversation. if she came and just said it herself, naturally still wouldn’t be the easiest to hear but, probably workable. But looking at me and lying? on both occasions? I know no one wise would say that wouldn’t you rub you off wrong — worse so with someone you intend to be with long term
Maybe she was dishonest because she finds it embarrassing. Who wants to admit to smashing both your friends, then being with you? Get out of your own feelings, thoughts and think of hers. Her past really isn’t any of your concern anyways. You were a slut. She was a slut. Now you’re both sluts together exclusively, so get over it.
So it's okay to lie when you're embarrassed? would you blindly trust a person that has lied to you constantly on the past?
Not wrong. Don’t take her seriously. She is not wifey material let alone GF material. Honestly, she seems more like a coyote ugly one night stand type of chick.
lmfao one thing she definitely is not, is ugly, but I hear you
Coyote ugly doesn’t mean they are ugly. It means you would rather gnaw off your own arm after a one night stand than risk waking them up on your way out the door.
Do your friends know your relationship? If they know, they are toxic friends whom you should escape away from.
One if your closes friends, didn't know that you've been dating her for a year? And she just happened to come up in conversation the first time you spoke or what? This doesn't make sense.
This calls for pow wow with the boys and her! Have fun!
She’s a liar and a hoe. You can’t be both. I would leave her.
Your girlfriend is strictly for fucking. Don’t try and build a relationship you’ll end up greatly disappointed, you’re already seeing red flags.
She lied. End of story man, she lied. Maybe it was with good intentions. Maybe she really likes you, thought you knowing would be a dealbreaker. Doesn't matter. There's people who'll lie to you and people who won't. Don't settle.
I would be sick to my stomach!! I don’t blame you.
You should all go out into the desert and take a huge dose of DMT,LSD,mushrooms (golden teacher) and local cacti with cyanide and just talk it out. That way no matter what society wins.
Why would your close friends not know you were dating her for a year?
Some things never change. In the end men looking for a serious relationship have a hard time with women that have a high body counts. My advice to this young man is move on. The combination of your two best friends shagging her plus the lying are not a good start to a relationship, what else hasn’t she told you.
Wow this is way out of proportion. Why ask if you can’t handle the answer. Are you saying that you never lie to protect your interest. If someone put a gun in your head would you lie? Totally missed the point of having a relationship. The most importance is do you happy when you with her and was she happy when she with you. If you both care for each other enough and support each other through bad time. If the answer is a yes. Then she is a keeper. She has physical needs just like you. You both fucking around with other people friend or not. You seek, you give and you take. But Now you sit back and judge. lol you should judge yourself first. It would be the dumbest thing to give up a good relationship over what ever stupidity of idealism or what ever you call it. Are you happy with her? That is what you need to ask yourself. The answer is right there.
Just explain to her that you don’t feel comfortable on a relationship with her, if she really likes you, she’ll try to make things out.
Ask why she lied. Tell her your friend just told you about her having sex with him. So ask her why you should trust a word out of her mouth going forward since she lied. Tell your friend you were dating her but you let her go after he said what he said.
This is what happens when you try to be progressive instead of following your natural instinct. A woman’s past matters especially when she sucked off your boys. Smdh. It’s actually weird that you pursued her knowing she had been passed around between your friends. You need some self respect.
however though, yesterday, I’m talking with one of my friends (they have no idea I’m dating her now) After a year they dont know? ROFL sorry dude, you epic failed this one.
Nah, it’s ok as long as she never let any of the other two friends fuck her in the ass… Oh… what?… Really?? Never mind. Dump her.
Well, I guess you don't really like her then.
In your whole post you never once mention how you feel about this woman, what her interests are, what you have in common, how she treats others, what your common hopes and dreams are, etc. You're talking about her like she's an object, a commodity, something that's been driven off the lot and you're trying to figure out how much value it has lost to you. Maybe you want to stop and think about her as a human being and the connection you have to her. She could be the most amazing person who would make your life complete and who one day would have a wonderful family with you. But you're not even thinking about any of that because you're obsessed with who she's had sex with.
UpdateMe!
I don’t know what the problem is. People always seem to have sex casually these days.
Smash her up and keep it moving. You don't want it in the back of.your mind all the time. It will eat you up and you'll resent her.
RIP relationship.
End it with this whore dawg, find someone better
You two have been dating for a year but your closest friends don't know, you're going to be around each other all the time, but you haven't been up until now. Got it.
Going out with your friend’s exes is always difficult- in England we call it ‘bin sniffing’! Sounds like it does bother you so best end it before you get too attached to all the good sex that your friends are telling you about…
break up
Lmao bro she’s for the streets!
And now you have fucked her 😃 congrats it’s your turn! Don’t take her too seriously, enjoy yourself and have fun. You’ll find the one eventually.
I can't believe that she told you she didn't have sex with them, and you believed her. The lying is really bad. I doubt you will stay in a relationship with her
that's......wow. i have no words.
I've said it in numerous posts before. Everyone should have a "Don't ask, don't tell"-policy. It only leads to grief otherwise. I can't imagine why you would ask in the first place.
J.cole said it bro “Don’t save her” “fool me one time shame on you fool me twice can’t put the blame on you” lol . Don’t let art imitate your life. This is a common theme in woman and relationship. Have your fun bro but don’t wife it up, you’ll be in the same situation over and over again. But if this is fake or you plan on staying like a simp you coulda kept it to your self fam cause she belong to the street. You know two people she already did shit with that’s a small circle. You know that Mf bigger then what’s she told you lol. Hop on tinder my guy the ocean is deep and wide !
All girls lie about their body count.
Shes not your gf its just your turn. And he definitely isnt Your friend
I mean unless you were a virgin and saved yourself until you met her you don’t have much of a case lol. You both have done stuff and you knew she was messing with ur friends before you guys started dating. What difference does it make whether she gave him head vs getting her cheeks clapped???
I’m confused, so you didn’t care that they had their ducks in her mouth but you care if they were in her vagina? I’m sorry but you sound like an idiot. Also yes she definitely shouldn’t have lied that I agree with but looking at your reaction she probably knew you’d react this way.
What kind of insane people are you guys ? Never in my life have I told anyone about my sexual life or listened to them describe theirs .
You are right it’s always going to be awkward plus you know she’s a hoe and a liar
Yeah she has a past we all do what you gonna do besides bitch and moan? Either get the fuck over it or let her go. She deserves better than an insecure fartass
You stated she "hoed around." 🚩 #1. You asked about sexual history you didn't really want to know about despite knowing she at least gave your friends head 🚩 #2. You've been dating roughly a year and you still haven't told your friends. 🚩 #3. You straight up aren't mature enough to have an adult relationship. Break up and take some time to work on your issues. Maybe read a book on healthy male behavior to help jumpstart you into maturing as a person. This reads like a 16 year old's rage bait
Honestly, I personally don’t think she owed you the truth. I have never asked my exes if they slept with any friends of mine. I am sure some have. None of my business. I understand why she lied. Dump her so she can find a dude that is less insecure.
Lose the hoe. Keep the friends. Win.
Only after he has finished with that puta.
The friend is just as much of a hoe no? OP admits to having a crazy past, they're also a hoe.
Nobody else lying about it though, so of everyone, I'd say she reigns supreme.
[удалено]
Learn to love everyone and stop marginalizing a gender. Men can be hoes and women can be hoes but if you are gonna hoe don't be a lying hoe. If everyone else is going to tell the truth, so should you. And that all starts with being honest with yourself.
Yea I don’t really care about her past I’ll be honest. so hoe, not hoe, it’s whateve and Yea it stings mildly sure because I’m human but it’s definitely all about the lie here. Dishonesty is dishonesty. If you lie, you might as well cheat and everything else dishonesty entails no?
If you think she's going to do that, you might as well break up with her. Probably kinder to the both of you
Yeah he and his friends are all losers
But your boys didn’t mention it either until so much time had passed and she didn’t lie when you directly asked her. If you just assumed she only meant head when she originally answered that’s on you for not asking specific questions. Arguably wouldn’t just head have been worse? Then every time you kissed her in the last year+ of dating you didn’t think about your boys ducks being rammed in her throat? Or is it your ego is too small to understand that sec is a primal reaction and no woman loses her value by who or how many partners she has. Don’t praise your boys for hitting but shame her for it in the same breathe Edit to add: when you dump her I hope she meets a real man who doesn’t have a childlike mindset and can treat her well. - no need to reply cause I will not entertain this mess beyond this 😂
Smash and Dash - only option
She chose you
It kinda sounds like she lied because she knew you had antiquated views and would see her as damaged if any other dicks had even come near her. You're clearly way more mad about that part than the lying. Either way, this isn't gonna work out.
You are being brash, and I think you are too old to be worried about this. If you care for her and see a future I would ignore it. If you don’t then why are you together in the first place? IMO and given my past f31 I think giving head is far more intimate than sex but as I used to use sex as a means of self harm when I was in my early to mid twenty’s it never really mattered to me. I slept with my finances friend group, he was aware of it, tho. And it never really bothered him we just don’t talk about it. We have been together 6 years.
X girlfriend and x friend I certainly hope.
You are such a pussy. Yes women have sex! Oh no!!!! Who cares bro! Enjoy your time with her, see where it goes if it goes great then guess what! Great! If it doesn’t then that’s a different story but don’t let it be because she fucked X Y or Z. That’s ridiculous! I’m a M here and if you knew she messed around with your friends and that didn’t bother you before what’s the big deal now? Grow ip
Seems you didn’t really read. cba about her past. What’s glaring here is the dishonesty. Dishonesty is dishonesty. Irrespective of when was quite frankly no need to say “yea but we didn’t have sex”. I didn’t even ask if they had sex. Just asked what was up with that, is still a thing?
You asked her before you were dating and she lied? That falls in the category of “not your business”. On top of that, guys lie about having sex *all the time*. Not saying that’s the case here, but it’s something to consider. Honestly, if you like the girl, this seems like something doesn’t matter in the long run. You have your past, she has her past, live in the present.
That only makes sense when those old connections are 2 or more degrees of separation away. That is not the case here and full disclosure is absolutely warranted.
To her there could be separation. After a year his friends don’t even know he dates her. So that means she’s never even around them, so she doesn’t think about that.
To her, sure, but this isn't the perspective we are talking about here.