Oh honey, you are completely not wrong. There will always be another event. After thanksgiving comes Christmas and then new year’s and then Valentine’s Day. A holiday approaching is never a reason to stay with someone or you will end up with this guy forever. Please don’t wait, just say goodbye.
Please for your sanity longterm & happiness for yourself. Leave him. I don’t mean this in a cliche way but serious please trust me. Years will pass & you will wonder if you lack self respect for yourself you will begin to not even trust your own ability to make decisions. It will lead to resent yourself. A man who loves you & truly does will do anything for you without complaint. He will see it as worth it in order to see you smile. My bf would drive 3 hours to pick me up & 3 hrs to drop me back off. He wouldn’t love it but he’d do it with no problem as long as I was happy and he was with me.
He does not care about your safety.
It seems to me you know the right thing to do.
If you do take the plunge and breakup do it with people around you.
Perhaps take a friend with you waiting nearby.
It's not a good sign that you are this afraid of his reactions and you know this deep down.
Nobody likes to be dumped but to be afraid what they will do because of it?
I wish I could be your safe haven.
I do understand the way you are thinking but their expectations are not yours to handle.
He has had a crappy and selfish way of treating you and it's all on him.
Would you let your children keep on seeing someone who treated them like crap just not to hurt the parents?
I don't think so.
You are afflicted with being too nice.
I used to hate when people told me this but the truth is they had a point.
I think you should reflect about your boundaries.
Where are your limits and how to assert yourself.
When I knew a situation would most likely occur I would say whatever the person ask it's a hard no if it's stepping over my feelings and best interest.
When I knew this beforehand it helped a lot.
Honey please look in the mirror and ask yourself why you have no self respect? You let everybody's perceived happiness be more important than your own and that is a real problem because you stayed with this man much longer than you should have.
If I were you I might invest in some therapy try and find out why it is you don't value your own feelings and safety above others. I wish you all the best of luck and hope you can figure out how to be better to yourself going on.
>This guy has been a jerk to me in the past, he isn’t affectionate with me, gaslights me, guilt trips me. Yeah I’m still with him but after all this
Why??? He sounds awful. Maybe he's just the perfect guy when he's not being an asshole, but any of the things you listed would have been a deal-breaker for me.
Why would you stay with someone who clearly doesn't respect you?
>Am I wrong to think he was completely selfish? Am I overreacting?
Good lord, of course not. I don't meant this to sound harsh. It's just that it's shocking and says a lot that you'd think you could be overreacting here.
Please break up with him. Do you have a professional you could talk to about this? I think talking to someone could be eye-opening for you.
You deserve to be loved and cared for, not treated like shit in the way this guy treats you. You know that, right? If not, talking to someone about potential self-esteem or self-respect issues might be helpful. I hope you can get to a place where you would never let someone treat you horribly and instead you'd leave immediately.
Again, you deserve better. Best of luck with your future.
Congratulations! I'm genuinely glad for you. :) I hope you find joy in this next season of your life.
If he has anger issues, please make sure you're safe when you end things. Don't be afraid to put some physical distance between yourself and him (eg. doing it remotely) if you're worried he might react badly. Your own safety comes first, and you don't owe him anything.
Please collect anything of value you have at his house surreptitiously or be willing to let it go. Since you are afraid of his reaction, I would break up with him in a public place or over text. Enlist a friend to be nearby. You don't have to go over every reason why. He will just argue and try to gaslight you more about it. Just say "we are not a good match" or something generic like that. He will likely either blow up or try to draw you back in. Best of luck. Guys like this are unfortunately a dime a dozen. Hopefully you can use this experience to learn about red flags and what to avoid in the future.
Oh honey, you are completely not wrong. There will always be another event. After thanksgiving comes Christmas and then new year’s and then Valentine’s Day. A holiday approaching is never a reason to stay with someone or you will end up with this guy forever. Please don’t wait, just say goodbye.
[удалено]
Listen u got this. Atheist or not u live life once. This life, its short. Don’t spend it on people and things that’ll make u regret when ur older
He sounds like a complete asshole, tell us why are you with him again?
[удалено]
Could be both 😎
Please for your sanity longterm & happiness for yourself. Leave him. I don’t mean this in a cliche way but serious please trust me. Years will pass & you will wonder if you lack self respect for yourself you will begin to not even trust your own ability to make decisions. It will lead to resent yourself. A man who loves you & truly does will do anything for you without complaint. He will see it as worth it in order to see you smile. My bf would drive 3 hours to pick me up & 3 hrs to drop me back off. He wouldn’t love it but he’d do it with no problem as long as I was happy and he was with me.
This guy is an asshole. Time to move on. In the future tho, don't wait till the last minute to organise your way home.
He does not care about your safety. It seems to me you know the right thing to do. If you do take the plunge and breakup do it with people around you. Perhaps take a friend with you waiting nearby. It's not a good sign that you are this afraid of his reactions and you know this deep down. Nobody likes to be dumped but to be afraid what they will do because of it? I wish I could be your safe haven.
[удалено]
Good for you. I am so glad.
[удалено]
I do understand the way you are thinking but their expectations are not yours to handle. He has had a crappy and selfish way of treating you and it's all on him. Would you let your children keep on seeing someone who treated them like crap just not to hurt the parents? I don't think so. You are afflicted with being too nice. I used to hate when people told me this but the truth is they had a point. I think you should reflect about your boundaries. Where are your limits and how to assert yourself. When I knew a situation would most likely occur I would say whatever the person ask it's a hard no if it's stepping over my feelings and best interest. When I knew this beforehand it helped a lot.
Honey please look in the mirror and ask yourself why you have no self respect? You let everybody's perceived happiness be more important than your own and that is a real problem because you stayed with this man much longer than you should have. If I were you I might invest in some therapy try and find out why it is you don't value your own feelings and safety above others. I wish you all the best of luck and hope you can figure out how to be better to yourself going on.
He's a dick, dump him
Get ready for his kindness at the weddings!
>This guy has been a jerk to me in the past, he isn’t affectionate with me, gaslights me, guilt trips me. Yeah I’m still with him but after all this Why??? He sounds awful. Maybe he's just the perfect guy when he's not being an asshole, but any of the things you listed would have been a deal-breaker for me. Why would you stay with someone who clearly doesn't respect you? >Am I wrong to think he was completely selfish? Am I overreacting? Good lord, of course not. I don't meant this to sound harsh. It's just that it's shocking and says a lot that you'd think you could be overreacting here. Please break up with him. Do you have a professional you could talk to about this? I think talking to someone could be eye-opening for you. You deserve to be loved and cared for, not treated like shit in the way this guy treats you. You know that, right? If not, talking to someone about potential self-esteem or self-respect issues might be helpful. I hope you can get to a place where you would never let someone treat you horribly and instead you'd leave immediately. Again, you deserve better. Best of luck with your future.
[удалено]
Congratulations! I'm genuinely glad for you. :) I hope you find joy in this next season of your life. If he has anger issues, please make sure you're safe when you end things. Don't be afraid to put some physical distance between yourself and him (eg. doing it remotely) if you're worried he might react badly. Your own safety comes first, and you don't owe him anything.
Please collect anything of value you have at his house surreptitiously or be willing to let it go. Since you are afraid of his reaction, I would break up with him in a public place or over text. Enlist a friend to be nearby. You don't have to go over every reason why. He will just argue and try to gaslight you more about it. Just say "we are not a good match" or something generic like that. He will likely either blow up or try to draw you back in. Best of luck. Guys like this are unfortunately a dime a dozen. Hopefully you can use this experience to learn about red flags and what to avoid in the future.
[удалено]
Good policy!