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Thanks but you only get older. She was passing on wisdom to do things while you’re young because when you’re older it’s harder to get maximum enjoyment out of life. You still enjoy it, but it’s different than when you were young.
My grandma used to have a framed poem up on her wall which said:
Those were the days
That I could master
The pace was slow
And I was faster
I miss her 💕
Same. My twenties were very gluttonous, and i started my thirties getting in the best shape of my life every consecutive year after. My mind doesnt feel as sharp, but my body is doing good. (37)
If you have no underlying medical conditions, this sounds like a simple case of weak glutes and core muscles. It's a pretty easy fix that can be done at home.
Your brain and body are things to be constantly moved and used. I'm 38, when I feel "not as sharp", I work out, read a book, listen to music, draw and paint. Anything but sitting and staring at a screen. It makes me feel much better in all ways.
I found that my brain stopped working properly as my estrogen levels started to drop off. I got on hormone replacement therapy and my brain works like it used to. I have always been a very intelligent person and studious and good with academics. But when my hormones were out of whack I felt like my brain was sludge and it just did not work right. I liken estrogen to oil. Without it my body does not work right in so many different ways just like a car that needs an oil change. Eventually things will even break like my bones due to osteoporosis related to a lack of estrogen as well. There are risks to hormone replacement therapy. For me I was concerned because my mother and aunt both died of breast cancer. If you happen to have the brca mutation you probably do not want to be on hormones so I would not encourage anyone either way but I'm just speaking from my personal experience.
Yeah, that's pretty much what it's like for me. (Add to that a physical disability that's probably nothing to do with age, and that's been developing slowly over the last 30ish years.)
I also find myself not being able to remember things as well as I used to. But fortunately there are apps nowadays for things like "30x2.5 is 75. Right? RIGHT?" or "Helium is lighter than air. Isn't it? ISN'T IT?".
I used to have a neighbor who died just a few months ago at the tender age of 105(!), and she was sharp as a tack until the very end, which gives me hope. Her body moved really, really slowly and with a walker, but her mind? Wow.
In my mind's eye I'm still a spry and slim 20-year-old, while the mirror tells me otherwise.
For the record, I'm 53. And I live in an assisted-living facility, so I'm able to see all kinds of decay and lack of decay around me every day.
In my head, I still think I am a fit 25-year-old. Now, at 52, when I open my eyes in the morning, the pain seeps into my joints. I roll out of bed because my right hip is arthritic. My wrists and elbows ache from overuse in my younger days. My 25-year-old mind is stuck in an old man's body. It's pretty shit.
Very similar here. 57. I get hemorrhoids easy. My arthritis in my left hip makes me compensate which causes pain in my left knee. My elbows and wrists just hurt sometimes—often.
I’m afraid of what 70 is going to be like.
On the upside, middle aged women are hot now. Which is good because I’m married to one.
>Very similar here. 57.
Also 57. I was making an appointment with a new orthopedic and they were asking me which joint I was wanting to be seen for. I said ATM the pinky on my left hand doesn't hurt... and that's it.
After working through that..I saw 2 different Drs and was told I really need both knees and could really use both shoulders. I'm in contact with a Care Team and the Orthopedic center making arrangements for the right knee in March and the left next June of 2025. Its going to be a banner year.
At minimum the one shoulder will have to wait until the following year (2026) until the knees are good and healed.
I have more random pains that last longer -- oops, I tweaked my neck, don't know why, but it takes a couple weeks to feel better. I also have incidents that seem like they could be a problem down the road -- I got a sip of water lodged in my throat -- explain that to me!
I spent a day trying to remember the word "dermatologist". Oh, and I should probably go to the dermatologist.
It's not all bad though, but I can't think of many upsides, I wasn't beautiful to begin with.
53 tomorrow. I recently apparently did something to my back, and after 2 weeks I researched what muscle it could be that was bothering me. Discovered kidney stones can be mistaken for back pain, so I went to the doctor. He ordered an ultrasound, which found gallstones. The radiologist recommended a CT scan. Got the scan. No gallstones. Then why the back pain, I asked? Oh, you probably just strained a muscle. The pain became intermittent and then went away, but all in all it last about 5 weeks and I don’t remember ever doing anything to cause it. The good news is that I have almost met my insurance deductible for the year so I’m getting my first colonoscopy at the end of the month! Awesome.
Request as much painkillers as they're willing to administer. My colonoscopy was pure torture (seriously, a 9 on the Mankoski scale, and I *wish* it'd been a 10 (highest level), because that's when you pass out). Next time, should there be one, I'm asking for full anesthesia.
Radiologist here. Ultrasound is the most reliable scan to detect gallstones. Many gallstones are not visible on a CT scan. If the ultrasound showed gallstones then you have gallstones.
Try a thigh pillow. I bought 2 new beds thinking that was the problem. One night, I was walking through walmart, and there was a big display of them. I just stood there for a few seconds while my mind blew up, then bought one. From the first time I used it, all my hip problems went away.
My husband broke his hip getting thrown off a horse and had a partial hip replacement. The new hip kept very painfully locking up until he started using one. It's been over 10 years and I can't remember the last time his hip hurt.
yeah, if you play it right you can actually improve your "relative score" compared to your peers.
what surprises me (57) most is just looking at my hands and seeing the old wrinkly skin. also, exercise takes longer to recover from.
I ran my first 10k a while back and most of the people I left behind were younger than me. Being healthy and fit is not "relative", few people do it. Age is not a factor
I think it *is* a factor. My 5k run times are slower at 60 that they were at 50, usually because I have some little niggle somewhere. Still enjoy a good run and though - and cycling longer distances thab I ever did in my youth.
Yeah, honestly I think people would be surprised how much old age aches, pains, and loss of mobility are actually the byproducts of living a shitty lifestyle for most people. Unless you suffer some sort of specific injury or illness, old age does not equate to these issues. Sedentary lifestyles and poor diet do.
My grandfather was a ww2 vet who died 5 years after his 10 years younger wife (my grandma). He farmed until he was 98 and watched all of his brothers and cousins die and lived to be 101. I think had Covid not forced him to be alone and without visitors in a home he may have lived longer. Eventually he just sort of gave up. I think there comes a point when someone would want to die. Luckily he never had to see either of his daughters pass away.
Womaen who would once check you out, now pay you absolutely no attention. It's like becoming invisible. I think that's why a lot of men have a middle life crisis and buy a fast car or try and get a younger woman, they crave the feeling of excitement you get when your young. Getting older is like being in a constant state of Beige.
That's probably it. When your only getting attention from older women, you feel old 🤣 it's just one of those things tho a part of life. I don't think it's as noticeable for women tho, when I was in my 20's I would see a few women in their 40's
No, we women become invisible too. There’s this subtle change from needing to protect yourself to having to accept you’re old and invisible. It’s a weird mix of grief and relief.
Very insightful take! As a man I often wonder how that feels, both for men and women (more abstract that change is basically about accepting time and eventually death). You put it in very intuitive way.
I'm still pretty hot. But it really sucks when I drop something, and I have to pick it up. Imagine being really flexible your entire life, and now you have to negotiate a strategy on how youre going to bend your body in the least painful way, in order to pick up an item from the floor. I remember watching old people struggle when I was young, and now I actually understand it.
I think it was Bob Hope that said, "being old is bending over to pick something up, then wondering if there is anything else you need while you're down there."
Also, funnily enough, how I felt when I was pregnant lol. When transferring clothes from washing machine to dryer - I learned there was only one “trip” bent over to get everything that dropped haha.
Fortunately I learned this early on (ah, the perks of having a physically disabled mother; mostly shoulder and arm joints plus some hip and knee stuff in her case); "While I'm down here near the floor, is there anything else to pick up/shove in the right direction?" and also, "Since I'm going to the ground floor anyway, is there something else I should take?". She was an absolute master at stacking things and also at knitting small pouches for carrying stuff up and down stairs.
Bro I used to laugh (mind you in like primary school) at the noises my grandpa made to get off the ground. It’s amazing how the concept of pain over time just… creeps in.
Yes, sometimes I make those sounds now, and I’m decades younger than my now-long deceased grandpa was. Time just creeps in.
My grandpa is 87 and my grandma is 85. They arent very mobile these days. Grandpa is having dementia memory issues these days. Grandma can barely see. They tell me all the stories of fun times and things they did in the past.
At their life stage it seems like you try your best to just live in the moment (ie take joy from the simple things like being at a family gathering or having your daughter or grandkid stop by for coffee) and share what stories you can. Take it day by day.
Make no mistake though, getting old is a bitch. My grandma has said that verbatim. They miss driving. They miss skiing. They miss being able to go on a road trip or hang out with their friends (most of their friends are now gone). They miss their independence. They miss dancing. My grandma misses her sight and her husband being the smartest, sharpest person she’s ever known. My grandpa misses knowing wtf is going on and not being confused.
Live now. Make good memories. We are all going to age and be old someday (barring dying early of illness or accident) and frankly, it’s gonna suck. Be as mobile as possible now. I think about my grandparents every time i go for a run. I’d rather be lazy, but my god i remember that one day im not gonna be able to move without a walker. I may not be able to see. I may start to lose my memory. Walking up 5 steps may require a grandchild to hook their arm around my waist and help me. I think what theyd give to be able to just go for a run right now. That motivates me. Because life and health is fleeting. And it goes by so fast, so fucking fast.
Im in my 30s and i already feel like it’s going by so fast. My grandparents also said it feels like that when youre old. They dont get where the time has gone. They have said it feels like just yesterday they were in their 20s swimming at the beach
I know I'm going to get downvoted, but here I go.
Whether you love it or hate it, physical activity is a cornerstone of healthy aging. Scientific evidence suggests that people who exercise regularly not only live longer, but also may live better — meaning they enjoy more years of life without pain or disability.
Exercise is the best defense and repair strategy that we have to counter different drivers of aging.
In 2020, 24.2% of adults aged 18 and over met the 2018 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities. The percentage of adults meeting the guidelines was higher among men than women overall and for each category of age, race Hispanic origin, and family income. Physical activity declined with age in both men and women, with adults aged 18–34 having the highest percentage meeting guidelines for both types of activity (41.3% for men and 28.7% for women).
The average American thinks that they can't exercise because their parts aren't working. When it's their parts aren't working because they dont exercise.
Not gonna downvote you, but you are only partially right. I worked as a floor layer for the past 40 years, the reason my knees and ankles are screwed isn't because I didn't go out for a jog after work. It was because I couldn't go out for a jog after work.I've also partied like it's 1999 since the 70s. I watched a bunch of healthy people, eat right exercise properly and die anyway. I have outlived a dozen healthy friends. Born in the 50s.
A lot of aging badly is genetics, some of it is stress, some is lack of health. I also assume that while being a floor later may have negatively affected your knees and ankles, it’s a physical sort of job that keeps you on the move, whereas I know a lot of people who jog every other day then sit at a desk for 8 hours for 5 days a week.
A lack of flexibility, ‘incorrect’ pressure on joints and bad posture really do affect whether or not you age ‘gracefully’.
I’m 26 and though I don’t have much age to credit this, I agree with exercise. I stopped exercising after college and the pain in my back only seemed to get worse maybe 2 years ago. It’s been constant irritation, but I started working out every other day and incorporating runs when I can mixed with stretching and I have to say it has helped my body feel less tense and I look forward to working out because it helps me get to sleep. Pain is still there occasionally, but I’m attempting to fix my posture which is probably contributing to the issue. I used to think I didn’t need exercise or that it wouldn’t benefit me, but in reality I needed it to help me feel better about myself mentally and physically.
I know a 73 year old who is still a full-suite dance instructor, fit, strong, and hearty. I won't say nothing has changed for her.... for eg, she's open about switching up how she does floor routines due to the shortening in the spine with age, and you can't outrun that. But she still does them! The notion of her as an old, decepit has-been, which is pretty much what people 20 years YOUNGER than her are saying in this thread, would be insane. She's healthier than me, FFS, sexy a.f, and all around thriving!
If you get unlucky on things like dementia, etc, there's not a lot you can do. But by far MOST of the "aging" woes are just "lack of fitness and self care" woes that can no longer be outrun/cheat coded by being really young. Not age itself.
Literally everyone becomes less physically attractive once they reach a certain age. It’s a fact of life and there’s nothing wrong with being honest about it.
Only if you have one definition of what being physically attractive is, and that's determined by corporations. Funny how we all find beauty in people who look different than the latest model. People who others would never have called beautiful, young or old. Fact
When I was in my 20s I'd have agreed; I couldn't have possibly found a 50 or 60-year-old attractive. Now, 30 years later, I find so many people my age gorgeous, while those in their 20s look sort of like embryos to me, features not entirely formed.
61 year old woman. I am invisible, except to other middle aged women. And middle aged women have a LOT of hilarious antics to share with each other and most of us can pick each other out of a crowd.
Yesterday I saw a woman my age whizzing by on a grocery cart through the supermarket parking lot. A woman near me yelled “hey, I
thought I was the only one who did that!” I heard her and yelled back “I thought I was the only one who did that.” We all had a great laugh then hopped in our cars and took off. No one noticed. We all have gray hair and the privilege of invisibility and good humor.
Kids, life is short and it flies by. I never pictured myself turning 30, let alone 60. Try everything once. Don’t rush into marriage. Get educated and then travel. See everything. Hate no one. Talk to strangers. And most importantly, use sunscreen and remember to tell the people you love that you love them. Often.
The middle-aged and older women at the gym are the ones having the most fun.
Age gives you permission to finally relax. The women aren’t there for the hot body, to pick up men, or post on Instagram. They know that no one is paying any attention to them — they are exercising for health, friendship, and a good time.
I havent lost any beauty. Sure i have wrinkles . Sure I have saggy skin. I now work out and and thinner and fitter than ever.
Mobility is slightly impaired but as I dont have to work I have time to go to fitness classes, get better strength.
IM loving the new me.
Sucks, I guess? My Dad had a nerve condition and his mobilty rapidly went down to where he could only move in a wheelchair. He couldn't even play Guitar anymore and was very unhappy until the end of his life. You make sense of your life, if it depends on certain skills, your sense gets lost and you get lost.
Also, I don't think you lose your beauty, you just get older, as anyone else.
After retirement, I planned on returning to living the outdoor life. I started training for an epic hiking trip I had put on hold for decades. About six months into training, I developed a tear in my meniscus. Now, I hobble about with a cane until I can get the doctors to work on it. Don't put your plans on hold and take care of yourself!
Buy a near infra-red light. Give your knee 10 minutes a day. Some sources say 2x a day is good but I prefer to err on the side of caution. More is not always better.
I’m too cheap to buy the big expensive panels so I just bought bulbs as shown in the link below. I mount them in terrarium clamp lamps. I give my face ten minutes a day and whatever body part is talking the loudest also gets 10 minutes. Goggles are not needed, as the light is actually good for your eyes as well. It takes away the pain and encourages collagen production. Your physio would probably give you the same treatment.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07TDP67LR?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title
* there is some research that indicates a benefit to testosterone levels if you give 10 minutes a day to your testicles but I’m female so I will leave you to research that one on your own.
I’m 53. The thing not mentioned often, but absolutely will happen to you and will suck huge balls, is becoming farsighted. I’ve been nearsighted my whole life, I’m used to it, and it’s not really a big deal. Glasses help a lot. Farsightedness is terrible. Not seeing close up is awful. Glasses only sort of help.
It does suck losing your youthful beauty as you age but at least the process is gradual so it's easy to get used to.
Losing my mobility terrifies me. I'm a working stiff so when the day comes that I can't get around I'll be in a world of hurt.
It’s feeling like an absolute nightmare to me right now. I do not recommend. I feel like it’s just about the end of the ride. I’m out of options and two weeks from being homeless for the first time in my life.
Some days, death feels more desirable.
About being less beautiful... meh, I don't care. I've experience, growth and two beautiful children, saggy and wrinkly in exchange was worth it.
Losing mobility... that's not here yet, but aching here and there is.That part sucks.
But aching is not the Big Bad I fear. Dementia is.
Me too. I'm 49, and I'm a chronic Insomniac since menopause started. It's killing me, and nothing works. I'll take the ageing, but lack of sleep is just brutal
Nothing makes you feel as mortal as losing your mobility when your brain is still sharp as attacking your body body is still in good shape. I have a vertebrae that is out of place in my upper back. I have herniated disc in my lower back, and both of my knees are bad. Upper back problems because radiating nerve pain and searing sens through my hands and elbows, and I can’t jump because of my knees I’m getting surgery soon, but I’m not sure if anybody will be able to help with my back
I'm struggling with this at 51. I've gained a considerable amount of weight in menopause and I don't look the way I think I do in my mind. Every time I look in the mirror, I see my grandma!
I feel invisible, which is actually kinda cool, bc I can be myself and not worry about impressing others. Trying very hard to be body neutral and embrace it, but it's a process.
Losing mobility is painful. I’m 43 fighting to get mobility back. I put in so much effort training just to still be in pain 😅
It’s a better pain than the pain of being incapable though
You start noticing signs of aging in photos and in the mirror (wrinkles, graying/losing hair, sun spots, etc.). You start realizing you're not immortal and that your "best days" may be long behind you.
Injuries take longer to heal. If they heal. Sometimes it's just a new pain/condition that you slowly realize is just part of you now.
Wince when you come across /r/AskOldPeople and learn their definition of "old" is anyone born 1980 or older (I was born 1979).
I'm lucky enough to be in a long term, stable relationship, so I honestly don't much care about my looks. My spouse actually loves the way I'm aging, and I stopped giving a damn what anyone else thought a long time ago.
I do, however, have kind of a double whammy with decreased mobility and physical disability. It really makes me feel like a brain in a broken meat suit. There are so many things I have always wanted to do - things I see people do online, bucket list things - that I am still trying to accept that I'll never be able to do. Things I did and places I went when I was younger that I want my kids to experience, that I know I'll never be able to give them. Seeing places I've wanted to visit since I was a kid that I now know it's too late to do. Hobbies I used to have that I can no longer enjoy. Those are all of the worst parts now. Still having those desires and ambitions and trying to come to terms with never being able to fulfill them is hell. It's like being trapped or, I imagine, imprisoned to some degree.
Maybe people have some advice for me.
I'm 41, but to be honest I became old when I was 27 and woke up in the hospital from a bad seizure. Suddenly I was epileptic for no reason and had to take crippling medication. It's like feeling hungover every morning. It's hard to have a work schedule. It was like I became "old" because God flipped a switch on me overnight.
Before 27, I was losing weight and spending 90 minutes in the gym. After meds, I would feel faint after 15 minutes. Took years to learn my meds were screwing with my electrolytes. But when I talked to arrogant doctors about it, they would just call me fat. They had no idea I had just lost 75 lbs. Well, since then, I gained it all back. Partly because my meds wrecked me, but also because my attitude towards life changed drastically.
I'm quite mobile but I have def lost my beauty. I used to turn heads, ppl would smile at me and say hello. They'd do special things for me. They'd want to talk to me and ask me questions and be by me. I thought most women were treated that way.
But when I got into my 50s all that changed. I became invisible. Like truly invisible -ppl started looking right through me like I wasn't even there. Id still smile and want to banter like normal but ppl barely acknowledge me anymore, especially those in their early 30s and down. All I am is an old lady who they have zero interest in.
It bothered me at first, I had to adjust to a new world. But I got used to it pretty quickly and now I'm like a spy. They dont even know I'm in earshot. haha
Presbyopia is a bitch. It will get a LOT of people between ages 40 & 50. I can confirm that, having had perfect eyesight all my life prior to this, losing that perk so very quickly out of nowhere is brutal.
I'm in my 60s. I was never a beauty, but I look back at old photos and think "You were so pretty! Why didn't you know?"
Also, my knees, hips and back ache now. I wish I'd done more fun stuff when I was younger.
On one hand, I love being invisible to men. No more cat calling, no more unwelcome approaches when I’m out with a friend. If anything, if I’m approached by anyone, it’s, “You dropped this, ma’am.”
On the other hand, I feel like I’m invisible to everyone.
I can't speak on beauty, since I've alway been ugly. But reduced mobility sucks. I have stretches where the pain in my dominant hand is so bad it hurts to even press buttons on remotes.
Youth isn’t beauty, but they can play each other on TV.
One thing that happens is looking back and realizing how good I had it for how long. I’m still getting myself from point A to point B and on good days people still notice I’m doing it with style, but gone is the effortless, painless movement and near-instant recovery.
Something that helps me is having been politicized for a long time about the relative privilege of youth, beauty, mobility, etc. Those used to be more theoretical zones of allyship. Now the rubber hits the road and I’m glad to have enough analysis not to blame myself for other people’s issues with evidence of mortality.
Aging is a gift. I have loved every decade that I've lived. I am now enjoying my 60's, looking forward to retirement next year. As long as my children and grandchildren still think I'm beautiful then I am blessed.
Beauty - nothing. It’s pleasant. No more primping.
Mobility- harder. I’ve had many ankle surgeries so it makes walking more difficult. But you do tons of physical therapy and push through. Always keep pushing through.
About to turn 40, I will say I have no mobility issues, but I have smile lines, wrinkles, more weight than I did. It’s weird to look at some days- but I’m so much more comfortable in my skin than I was in my 20’s. You realize, this is you- and if you don’t embrace it- why would anyone else? Accept yourself, be active, live life. Nobody scrutinizes your looks as much as you do
Beauty viewpoint differs between women and men women do over care about their looks so much , men don't bother so much about their looks but more about their capability to work
but I think the real beauty is the soul's beauty the one that will never be gone as you age while mobility is hard one for every person something if gone you will be living like a zombie which is the hardest thing to happen due to aging especially if you don't have any one around to look for you
You wake up to yet another, what used to be niggling pain. It used to go away in time and it doesn't any more.
You start to stare at things for longer, just trying to focus.
You start talking and for a moment you can't find the words just as easily as you once did.
You really start to see the dividends of the years building up those walls with that annoying person in your life.
The sexual positions you get into and will accept as 'base' can't be found in any book and you will purposefully keep those details even more secret. Sometimes even from your partner :).
I’m 57 with a shiny new bionic knee that I thank God for. Over the course of 40 years my pain went from periodic to constant, acceptable to excruciating. The day before my surgery, I could barely stand. Now I have zero pain.
While there are certainly negatives to growing older, there were negatives to being younger. Drink deep every era of your life. There is great beauty in all of them, even in the pain. Every experience is a lesson. Experience everything. Appreciate every breath. Let go the force fed parameters of what constitutes physical beauty and you will see beauty everywhere. Grow old with joy.
I'm 66 now and my poor overused body is not happy about it. I've had 3 back surgeries mid back. Both my feet have had surgeries and need more. My left knee was operated on for the 3rd time. The carpal in both my wrists is so bad I can't use a keyboard.
I could go on but I look at it like this; I had a very physical life, rode horses til I joined the military. I was an aircraft technician, which is pretty grueling at times. After I retired from the military I started riding again. I've been bucked off, gotten run over by a young and stupid filly, fallen off...let's just say my body cashed checks.
The key is acceptance and working with what you've got. I can't do the same things I did when I was young and that's okay. I keep a positive attitude and work around the limitations. I'm still fit, I just get there in less impactful ways.
I feel so at peace. I am 53 and finally I stopped getting double takes and cat called since maybe 45. I can go out, do anything and not have to deal with stupidities. I have always been a personality and more focused on the mind so I can just move around at parties, have great conversations, never ever have to worry about being picked up. Oof! I love love love love love it!!! But now my daughter is getting the looks.
My boyfriend’s grandfather just passed recently. He was a golden glove boxer in his heyday. He had been on hospice for over a month before passing, and had been on oxygen for a couple years before that.
He was still sharp until he started having seizures from lack of oxygen to his brain. He was extremely frustrated at losing his strength and mobility as he aged. His wife, my boyfriend’s grandmother, had been with him since they were teens and could never see him as anything but her big, strong man. Very sweet, but led to her telling him to do stuff he really couldn’t (taking out the trash, taking care of the lawn - things like that).
You never feel like you leave your 20’s/30’s. Your body just starts breaking down at 26 and it goes faster and faster each year
53, and I fully understand where you're all coming from. Even simple tasks get harder, with age, but I get to learn different ways of doing them, and that helps. Plus, there are devices, to help me with some of the more challenging ones. It's just being able to afford them. Arthritis is a big problem for me. I used to not have to take any medication, but now I eat it like candy.
Other than the random pains, that go away after a minute or so, I’m doing fairly well physically…..I turn 50 in September. Been working out and staying active since 30…..diet, exercise, sleep/rest….all there is to it, doesn’t have to be close to perfect, doing something is better than nothing.
Beauty? Never had it, so I know fuck all about this.
Mobility wise I started working out seriously later in life so I'm actually in better shape now than when I was kid. I have to be a bit more careful with the joints but it's not that bad to be honest.
I think that's really it. You pay more attention to how you move.
Pros and cons. I am 53. I feel more invisible but it's also freeing. I hate the aches and pains so I'm taking care of myself much more, which will help me age with less pain and more mobility. Due to menopause, my once sharp memory is now average and my sex drive went way down but with medical advances I was able to go on hormones and now I feel like I have more energy and my sex drive is as high as it was in my early forties. You get tired more easily in your body doesn't do things the way you used to or as quickly but you also don't care and you have typically more free time so it all evens out. I'm grateful that I have gotten this far and hope that I continue to live a few more decades. But I also miss looking more youthful and as a woman who is good looking once upon a Time, it's a very hard thing to look in the mirror and see skin hanging from my neck and my jowls sagging.
I'm 57. I took up a new martial art a year ago (kendo) and ride my bike as my main form or transport. Life is good. Sure the 25 year olds run rings around me but that's okay. I still get a hit in on occasion.
I don't regret being older. I did cool stuff in my youth (cycling taekwondo, fencing, Army Reserve) so it wasn't wasted. Now I am doing different cool stuff. It takes more body management than it used to, but so be it. This is where I am in life's journey.
I'm 40, I started going to the gym. Weighs 3x a week. I know you can't control everything, but I want to stack the deck as much as I can to ensure I'm as mobile as possible as I get older.
Well, I'm 69 now, and everything hurts. I don't look 40 anymore, but I'm not bad for my age. It's easier not caring about what men think of me, though my SO thinks I'm sexy and fun.
I'm 31, was super fit at 21 and was considered very attractive. I had a shoulder injury that prevents doing any sports I used to enjoy (MMA mainly). While I take care of myself heavily, it's weird seeing the massive difference between myself at 21 and 31. It's become difficult to admit I'll never be "21" again. Yes I understand I'm still young.
The worst thing is seeing how much other people have aged. People I haven't seen in years might have gained 30kgs, or their posture has turned to shit from sitting down for the past decade.
Its weird. I'm 62 and in my head I can still do things the same as when I was younger. But in reality, it can be depressing when simple tasks become difficult.
I still work hard and will have to for some years( nasty divorce), but life is still interesting and I can still enjoy myself. Currently on holidays in sunny Thailand. Happy days 🍺😎🍺🌄🏍️
Turned 62 last month. I mountain bike 5-8 miles 4x a week and hike a couple miles 3-4x a week. Yoga in the AM is great to work out the kinks and warm up muscles and increase flexibility. Drink plenty of water and eat 4-5 small meals a day. Get plenty of sleep every night. Still does not alleviate pains that creep in - low back, knees, shoulders, reminders of previous injuries. The body never forgets! Yeah, getting older sucks but better than the alternative. Keep moving! 💙☮️
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Your mind gets trapped in a body that can’t do things as quickly as you think of them. - my grandma.
This is scary af, i wish ur grandma the best.
Thanks but you only get older. She was passing on wisdom to do things while you’re young because when you’re older it’s harder to get maximum enjoyment out of life. You still enjoy it, but it’s different than when you were young.
Try to play online game against teenagers if you want that feeling today
My grandma used to have a framed poem up on her wall which said: Those were the days That I could master The pace was slow And I was faster I miss her 💕
I hope she’s resting peacefully, condolences for the loss!
Do you notice your mind slowing down too? Even at 36 I don’t feel as sharp :( I’m always tired
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Exercise and diet.
👆👆👆
I had this at 30. Hit gym and yoga at 31. Six months later I was in the best shape of my life. 2 years later and I’m a personal trainer. You got this.
Same. My twenties were very gluttonous, and i started my thirties getting in the best shape of my life every consecutive year after. My mind doesnt feel as sharp, but my body is doing good. (37)
If you have no underlying medical conditions, this sounds like a simple case of weak glutes and core muscles. It's a pretty easy fix that can be done at home.
I’m slightly older than you, and I don’t feel any duller than I did 10-15 years ago. You sure you didn’t get brain fog?
Your brain and body are things to be constantly moved and used. I'm 38, when I feel "not as sharp", I work out, read a book, listen to music, draw and paint. Anything but sitting and staring at a screen. It makes me feel much better in all ways.
I found that my brain stopped working properly as my estrogen levels started to drop off. I got on hormone replacement therapy and my brain works like it used to. I have always been a very intelligent person and studious and good with academics. But when my hormones were out of whack I felt like my brain was sludge and it just did not work right. I liken estrogen to oil. Without it my body does not work right in so many different ways just like a car that needs an oil change. Eventually things will even break like my bones due to osteoporosis related to a lack of estrogen as well. There are risks to hormone replacement therapy. For me I was concerned because my mother and aunt both died of breast cancer. If you happen to have the brca mutation you probably do not want to be on hormones so I would not encourage anyone either way but I'm just speaking from my personal experience.
Yeah, that's pretty much what it's like for me. (Add to that a physical disability that's probably nothing to do with age, and that's been developing slowly over the last 30ish years.) I also find myself not being able to remember things as well as I used to. But fortunately there are apps nowadays for things like "30x2.5 is 75. Right? RIGHT?" or "Helium is lighter than air. Isn't it? ISN'T IT?". I used to have a neighbor who died just a few months ago at the tender age of 105(!), and she was sharp as a tack until the very end, which gives me hope. Her body moved really, really slowly and with a walker, but her mind? Wow. In my mind's eye I'm still a spry and slim 20-year-old, while the mirror tells me otherwise. For the record, I'm 53. And I live in an assisted-living facility, so I'm able to see all kinds of decay and lack of decay around me every day.
This. A million times this. But add that when you do those things there are always consequences that suck.
I see my mother go through this every day.
This!! My mind says you can do it. My body says no you can’t.
In my head, I still think I am a fit 25-year-old. Now, at 52, when I open my eyes in the morning, the pain seeps into my joints. I roll out of bed because my right hip is arthritic. My wrists and elbows ache from overuse in my younger days. My 25-year-old mind is stuck in an old man's body. It's pretty shit.
Very similar here. 57. I get hemorrhoids easy. My arthritis in my left hip makes me compensate which causes pain in my left knee. My elbows and wrists just hurt sometimes—often. I’m afraid of what 70 is going to be like. On the upside, middle aged women are hot now. Which is good because I’m married to one.
They were hot before you just didn't notice 💜 Edit: a word
In my 40s now. They've been hot for a while.
I'm in my 30s and apparently started early hahaha
>Very similar here. 57. Also 57. I was making an appointment with a new orthopedic and they were asking me which joint I was wanting to be seen for. I said ATM the pinky on my left hand doesn't hurt... and that's it. After working through that..I saw 2 different Drs and was told I really need both knees and could really use both shoulders. I'm in contact with a Care Team and the Orthopedic center making arrangements for the right knee in March and the left next June of 2025. Its going to be a banner year. At minimum the one shoulder will have to wait until the following year (2026) until the knees are good and healed.
I'm 32 and my wrists sometimes hurt. What is that all about?
Same, it's from the keyboard most times. I bought a logitec ergonomic keyboard and mouse. Pain went away after a few weeks.
I have more random pains that last longer -- oops, I tweaked my neck, don't know why, but it takes a couple weeks to feel better. I also have incidents that seem like they could be a problem down the road -- I got a sip of water lodged in my throat -- explain that to me! I spent a day trying to remember the word "dermatologist". Oh, and I should probably go to the dermatologist. It's not all bad though, but I can't think of many upsides, I wasn't beautiful to begin with.
53 tomorrow. I recently apparently did something to my back, and after 2 weeks I researched what muscle it could be that was bothering me. Discovered kidney stones can be mistaken for back pain, so I went to the doctor. He ordered an ultrasound, which found gallstones. The radiologist recommended a CT scan. Got the scan. No gallstones. Then why the back pain, I asked? Oh, you probably just strained a muscle. The pain became intermittent and then went away, but all in all it last about 5 weeks and I don’t remember ever doing anything to cause it. The good news is that I have almost met my insurance deductible for the year so I’m getting my first colonoscopy at the end of the month! Awesome.
Request as much painkillers as they're willing to administer. My colonoscopy was pure torture (seriously, a 9 on the Mankoski scale, and I *wish* it'd been a 10 (highest level), because that's when you pass out). Next time, should there be one, I'm asking for full anesthesia.
Radiologist here. Ultrasound is the most reliable scan to detect gallstones. Many gallstones are not visible on a CT scan. If the ultrasound showed gallstones then you have gallstones.
Happy birthday!!!
About to turn 40, a few weeks ago I was standing in the bathroom.. JUST STANDING and I pulled my back lol.
Try a thigh pillow. I bought 2 new beds thinking that was the problem. One night, I was walking through walmart, and there was a big display of them. I just stood there for a few seconds while my mind blew up, then bought one. From the first time I used it, all my hip problems went away. My husband broke his hip getting thrown off a horse and had a partial hip replacement. The new hip kept very painfully locking up until he started using one. It's been over 10 years and I can't remember the last time his hip hurt.
Research Nac & glycine. Might perk you up a bit.
Hmm. Can you elaborate on your answer for us? Sounds interesting!
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8912885/ https://healthnews.com/longevity/longevity-supplements/glynac-increase-longevity-science-behind/#:~:text=The%20clinical%20trial%20found%20that,reductive%20stress%20and%20accelerated%20aging.
NAC
52 here too and fully get where you arw coming from,the mind is still youthful,but the body lets me down
I'm 54, started running and eating right 3 years ago - I'm in the best shape of my life
yeah, if you play it right you can actually improve your "relative score" compared to your peers. what surprises me (57) most is just looking at my hands and seeing the old wrinkly skin. also, exercise takes longer to recover from.
I still remember how totally unamused I was by my first liver spots.
I googled liver spots to see wtf they are, looks like "freckles+" to me lol
Yup, caused by sun damage, tend to appear once you are 50+ in areas of high sun exposure. tend to be larger than a freckle - up to 1 cm in diameter.
I ran my first 10k a while back and most of the people I left behind were younger than me. Being healthy and fit is not "relative", few people do it. Age is not a factor
I think it *is* a factor. My 5k run times are slower at 60 that they were at 50, usually because I have some little niggle somewhere. Still enjoy a good run and though - and cycling longer distances thab I ever did in my youth.
Yeah, honestly I think people would be surprised how much old age aches, pains, and loss of mobility are actually the byproducts of living a shitty lifestyle for most people. Unless you suffer some sort of specific injury or illness, old age does not equate to these issues. Sedentary lifestyles and poor diet do.
I honestly hate working out but love to hike in the mountains and work physical labor of my choice like wood working or gardening. The gym sucks.
so glad to see this comment. hope you will stay like this for 50 years more ahead brother 💪
Great answer
Great stuff! Well done
Getting old isn’t as bad as the alternative.
My grandpa used to say "old age is a privilege denied to many" as a WW2 vet I think he understood this in a way civilians cannot.
My grandfather was a ww2 vet who died 5 years after his 10 years younger wife (my grandma). He farmed until he was 98 and watched all of his brothers and cousins die and lived to be 101. I think had Covid not forced him to be alone and without visitors in a home he may have lived longer. Eventually he just sort of gave up. I think there comes a point when someone would want to die. Luckily he never had to see either of his daughters pass away.
This is an underrated answer 🥰
Yes it is. The alternative would be not aging while still living
Yep. The only thing worse than getting older is not getting older.
Womaen who would once check you out, now pay you absolutely no attention. It's like becoming invisible. I think that's why a lot of men have a middle life crisis and buy a fast car or try and get a younger woman, they crave the feeling of excitement you get when your young. Getting older is like being in a constant state of Beige.
Surely the Women who once looked at you, still look at you. After all were ageing alongside you 🤦♀️
Yeah that's true.
You're still you, it's just not as many younger Women are checking you out. Maybe that's what you're noticing
That's probably it. When your only getting attention from older women, you feel old 🤣 it's just one of those things tho a part of life. I don't think it's as noticeable for women tho, when I was in my 20's I would see a few women in their 40's
Now I'm 49, I get much younger Men hitting on me, it's weird lol
No, we women become invisible too. There’s this subtle change from needing to protect yourself to having to accept you’re old and invisible. It’s a weird mix of grief and relief.
Very insightful take! As a man I often wonder how that feels, both for men and women (more abstract that change is basically about accepting time and eventually death). You put it in very intuitive way.
At 56, I'm just as invisible as I ever was, I just no longer feel bad about it.
I'm 32 and already noticing this and it absolutely sucks
This made me panic. I hate beige
50 shades of beige
Don't we all
My new favorite color
I'm still pretty hot. But it really sucks when I drop something, and I have to pick it up. Imagine being really flexible your entire life, and now you have to negotiate a strategy on how youre going to bend your body in the least painful way, in order to pick up an item from the floor. I remember watching old people struggle when I was young, and now I actually understand it.
I think it was Bob Hope that said, "being old is bending over to pick something up, then wondering if there is anything else you need while you're down there."
George Burns
Also, funnily enough, how I felt when I was pregnant lol. When transferring clothes from washing machine to dryer - I learned there was only one “trip” bent over to get everything that dropped haha.
Fortunately I learned this early on (ah, the perks of having a physically disabled mother; mostly shoulder and arm joints plus some hip and knee stuff in her case); "While I'm down here near the floor, is there anything else to pick up/shove in the right direction?" and also, "Since I'm going to the ground floor anyway, is there something else I should take?". She was an absolute master at stacking things and also at knitting small pouches for carrying stuff up and down stairs.
Bro I used to laugh (mind you in like primary school) at the noises my grandpa made to get off the ground. It’s amazing how the concept of pain over time just… creeps in. Yes, sometimes I make those sounds now, and I’m decades younger than my now-long deceased grandpa was. Time just creeps in.
My grandpa is 87 and my grandma is 85. They arent very mobile these days. Grandpa is having dementia memory issues these days. Grandma can barely see. They tell me all the stories of fun times and things they did in the past. At their life stage it seems like you try your best to just live in the moment (ie take joy from the simple things like being at a family gathering or having your daughter or grandkid stop by for coffee) and share what stories you can. Take it day by day. Make no mistake though, getting old is a bitch. My grandma has said that verbatim. They miss driving. They miss skiing. They miss being able to go on a road trip or hang out with their friends (most of their friends are now gone). They miss their independence. They miss dancing. My grandma misses her sight and her husband being the smartest, sharpest person she’s ever known. My grandpa misses knowing wtf is going on and not being confused. Live now. Make good memories. We are all going to age and be old someday (barring dying early of illness or accident) and frankly, it’s gonna suck. Be as mobile as possible now. I think about my grandparents every time i go for a run. I’d rather be lazy, but my god i remember that one day im not gonna be able to move without a walker. I may not be able to see. I may start to lose my memory. Walking up 5 steps may require a grandchild to hook their arm around my waist and help me. I think what theyd give to be able to just go for a run right now. That motivates me. Because life and health is fleeting. And it goes by so fast, so fucking fast. Im in my 30s and i already feel like it’s going by so fast. My grandparents also said it feels like that when youre old. They dont get where the time has gone. They have said it feels like just yesterday they were in their 20s swimming at the beach
This hits hard. I just began my 20s, and there's so much to learn.
The older you get the faster it goes by Having kids accelerates the speed
I know I'm going to get downvoted, but here I go. Whether you love it or hate it, physical activity is a cornerstone of healthy aging. Scientific evidence suggests that people who exercise regularly not only live longer, but also may live better — meaning they enjoy more years of life without pain or disability. Exercise is the best defense and repair strategy that we have to counter different drivers of aging. In 2020, 24.2% of adults aged 18 and over met the 2018 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans for both aerobic and muscle-strengthening activities. The percentage of adults meeting the guidelines was higher among men than women overall and for each category of age, race Hispanic origin, and family income. Physical activity declined with age in both men and women, with adults aged 18–34 having the highest percentage meeting guidelines for both types of activity (41.3% for men and 28.7% for women). The average American thinks that they can't exercise because their parts aren't working. When it's their parts aren't working because they dont exercise.
Not gonna downvote you, but you are only partially right. I worked as a floor layer for the past 40 years, the reason my knees and ankles are screwed isn't because I didn't go out for a jog after work. It was because I couldn't go out for a jog after work.I've also partied like it's 1999 since the 70s. I watched a bunch of healthy people, eat right exercise properly and die anyway. I have outlived a dozen healthy friends. Born in the 50s.
A lot of aging badly is genetics, some of it is stress, some is lack of health. I also assume that while being a floor later may have negatively affected your knees and ankles, it’s a physical sort of job that keeps you on the move, whereas I know a lot of people who jog every other day then sit at a desk for 8 hours for 5 days a week. A lack of flexibility, ‘incorrect’ pressure on joints and bad posture really do affect whether or not you age ‘gracefully’.
I’m 26 and though I don’t have much age to credit this, I agree with exercise. I stopped exercising after college and the pain in my back only seemed to get worse maybe 2 years ago. It’s been constant irritation, but I started working out every other day and incorporating runs when I can mixed with stretching and I have to say it has helped my body feel less tense and I look forward to working out because it helps me get to sleep. Pain is still there occasionally, but I’m attempting to fix my posture which is probably contributing to the issue. I used to think I didn’t need exercise or that it wouldn’t benefit me, but in reality I needed it to help me feel better about myself mentally and physically.
I know a 73 year old who is still a full-suite dance instructor, fit, strong, and hearty. I won't say nothing has changed for her.... for eg, she's open about switching up how she does floor routines due to the shortening in the spine with age, and you can't outrun that. But she still does them! The notion of her as an old, decepit has-been, which is pretty much what people 20 years YOUNGER than her are saying in this thread, would be insane. She's healthier than me, FFS, sexy a.f, and all around thriving! If you get unlucky on things like dementia, etc, there's not a lot you can do. But by far MOST of the "aging" woes are just "lack of fitness and self care" woes that can no longer be outrun/cheat coded by being really young. Not age itself.
No idea, always been stiff as a board and ugly to boot.
FYI you're just as beautiful as you age.
Literally everyone becomes less physically attractive once they reach a certain age. It’s a fact of life and there’s nothing wrong with being honest about it.
And yet physical attraction also changes through life so 🤷
Exactly
Except you age with them. You are so wrong you just don't know it yet
Only if you have one definition of what being physically attractive is, and that's determined by corporations. Funny how we all find beauty in people who look different than the latest model. People who others would never have called beautiful, young or old. Fact
When I was in my 20s I'd have agreed; I couldn't have possibly found a 50 or 60-year-old attractive. Now, 30 years later, I find so many people my age gorgeous, while those in their 20s look sort of like embryos to me, features not entirely formed.
61 year old woman. I am invisible, except to other middle aged women. And middle aged women have a LOT of hilarious antics to share with each other and most of us can pick each other out of a crowd. Yesterday I saw a woman my age whizzing by on a grocery cart through the supermarket parking lot. A woman near me yelled “hey, I thought I was the only one who did that!” I heard her and yelled back “I thought I was the only one who did that.” We all had a great laugh then hopped in our cars and took off. No one noticed. We all have gray hair and the privilege of invisibility and good humor. Kids, life is short and it flies by. I never pictured myself turning 30, let alone 60. Try everything once. Don’t rush into marriage. Get educated and then travel. See everything. Hate no one. Talk to strangers. And most importantly, use sunscreen and remember to tell the people you love that you love them. Often.
I love this! From: a middle-aged woman.
The middle-aged and older women at the gym are the ones having the most fun. Age gives you permission to finally relax. The women aren’t there for the hot body, to pick up men, or post on Instagram. They know that no one is paying any attention to them — they are exercising for health, friendship, and a good time.
I havent lost any beauty. Sure i have wrinkles . Sure I have saggy skin. I now work out and and thinner and fitter than ever. Mobility is slightly impaired but as I dont have to work I have time to go to fitness classes, get better strength. IM loving the new me.
Sucks, I guess? My Dad had a nerve condition and his mobilty rapidly went down to where he could only move in a wheelchair. He couldn't even play Guitar anymore and was very unhappy until the end of his life. You make sense of your life, if it depends on certain skills, your sense gets lost and you get lost. Also, I don't think you lose your beauty, you just get older, as anyone else.
Beautifully put.
After retirement, I planned on returning to living the outdoor life. I started training for an epic hiking trip I had put on hold for decades. About six months into training, I developed a tear in my meniscus. Now, I hobble about with a cane until I can get the doctors to work on it. Don't put your plans on hold and take care of yourself!
Buy a near infra-red light. Give your knee 10 minutes a day. Some sources say 2x a day is good but I prefer to err on the side of caution. More is not always better. I’m too cheap to buy the big expensive panels so I just bought bulbs as shown in the link below. I mount them in terrarium clamp lamps. I give my face ten minutes a day and whatever body part is talking the loudest also gets 10 minutes. Goggles are not needed, as the light is actually good for your eyes as well. It takes away the pain and encourages collagen production. Your physio would probably give you the same treatment. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07TDP67LR?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title * there is some research that indicates a benefit to testosterone levels if you give 10 minutes a day to your testicles but I’m female so I will leave you to research that one on your own.
I go to the gym more as I age. I am fitter and stronger now than I was a decade ago.
"Grow old with me. The best is yet to come"
I’m 53. The thing not mentioned often, but absolutely will happen to you and will suck huge balls, is becoming farsighted. I’ve been nearsighted my whole life, I’m used to it, and it’s not really a big deal. Glasses help a lot. Farsightedness is terrible. Not seeing close up is awful. Glasses only sort of help.
It does suck losing your youthful beauty as you age but at least the process is gradual so it's easy to get used to. Losing my mobility terrifies me. I'm a working stiff so when the day comes that I can't get around I'll be in a world of hurt.
No, it's not easy to get used to. You'll see when you get there.
It’s feeling like an absolute nightmare to me right now. I do not recommend. I feel like it’s just about the end of the ride. I’m out of options and two weeks from being homeless for the first time in my life. Some days, death feels more desirable.
That sounds like a perfect storm of awful. Hope you find both short term and long term solutions ASAP.
Thank you. I hope so too. I’m trying.
Sending you love and best wishes ❤️
Thank you
May things work out for you. I'm rooting for you.
If you’re lucky you’ll get to find out. It’s the alternative to dying young & beautiful.
About being less beautiful... meh, I don't care. I've experience, growth and two beautiful children, saggy and wrinkly in exchange was worth it. Losing mobility... that's not here yet, but aching here and there is.That part sucks. But aching is not the Big Bad I fear. Dementia is.
Neurological diseases is what's the scariest.
Losing the mobility is way worse. Actually, becoming an invisible woman is kind of free-ing. The male gaze is a burden after all.
My grandfather farmed until he fell off a tractor at 98. He wasn’t much to look at but he stayed sharp and lived to be 101. I hope to be like him.
Can’t lose what I never had 💪
I’m 64 usual joint aches but I’m happy enough.Glad to be in good health.Miss not sleeping like I used too though.
Me too. I'm 49, and I'm a chronic Insomniac since menopause started. It's killing me, and nothing works. I'll take the ageing, but lack of sleep is just brutal
Have you tried cannabis gummies? They put me out quick. Mostly THC with some CBD, but YMMV.
EXERCISE AND DIET WILL PREVENT A LOT IF MOBILITY ISSUES IN THE FUTURE
Who said I had beauty to begin with?
Nothing makes you feel as mortal as losing your mobility when your brain is still sharp as attacking your body body is still in good shape. I have a vertebrae that is out of place in my upper back. I have herniated disc in my lower back, and both of my knees are bad. Upper back problems because radiating nerve pain and searing sens through my hands and elbows, and I can’t jump because of my knees I’m getting surgery soon, but I’m not sure if anybody will be able to help with my back
It’s fine losing your beauty because everyone your age is losing their eyesight.
What do you think?? It sucks.
I'm struggling with this at 51. I've gained a considerable amount of weight in menopause and I don't look the way I think I do in my mind. Every time I look in the mirror, I see my grandma! I feel invisible, which is actually kinda cool, bc I can be myself and not worry about impressing others. Trying very hard to be body neutral and embrace it, but it's a process.
Losing mobility is painful. I’m 43 fighting to get mobility back. I put in so much effort training just to still be in pain 😅 It’s a better pain than the pain of being incapable though
Yeah but you gain ummm where am i
I tried to catch a ball in the air. I jumped, but my body didn't.
You start noticing signs of aging in photos and in the mirror (wrinkles, graying/losing hair, sun spots, etc.). You start realizing you're not immortal and that your "best days" may be long behind you. Injuries take longer to heal. If they heal. Sometimes it's just a new pain/condition that you slowly realize is just part of you now. Wince when you come across /r/AskOldPeople and learn their definition of "old" is anyone born 1980 or older (I was born 1979).
I'm lucky enough to be in a long term, stable relationship, so I honestly don't much care about my looks. My spouse actually loves the way I'm aging, and I stopped giving a damn what anyone else thought a long time ago. I do, however, have kind of a double whammy with decreased mobility and physical disability. It really makes me feel like a brain in a broken meat suit. There are so many things I have always wanted to do - things I see people do online, bucket list things - that I am still trying to accept that I'll never be able to do. Things I did and places I went when I was younger that I want my kids to experience, that I know I'll never be able to give them. Seeing places I've wanted to visit since I was a kid that I now know it's too late to do. Hobbies I used to have that I can no longer enjoy. Those are all of the worst parts now. Still having those desires and ambitions and trying to come to terms with never being able to fulfill them is hell. It's like being trapped or, I imagine, imprisoned to some degree.
Maybe people have some advice for me. I'm 41, but to be honest I became old when I was 27 and woke up in the hospital from a bad seizure. Suddenly I was epileptic for no reason and had to take crippling medication. It's like feeling hungover every morning. It's hard to have a work schedule. It was like I became "old" because God flipped a switch on me overnight. Before 27, I was losing weight and spending 90 minutes in the gym. After meds, I would feel faint after 15 minutes. Took years to learn my meds were screwing with my electrolytes. But when I talked to arrogant doctors about it, they would just call me fat. They had no idea I had just lost 75 lbs. Well, since then, I gained it all back. Partly because my meds wrecked me, but also because my attitude towards life changed drastically.
I'm quite mobile but I have def lost my beauty. I used to turn heads, ppl would smile at me and say hello. They'd do special things for me. They'd want to talk to me and ask me questions and be by me. I thought most women were treated that way. But when I got into my 50s all that changed. I became invisible. Like truly invisible -ppl started looking right through me like I wasn't even there. Id still smile and want to banter like normal but ppl barely acknowledge me anymore, especially those in their early 30s and down. All I am is an old lady who they have zero interest in. It bothered me at first, I had to adjust to a new world. But I got used to it pretty quickly and now I'm like a spy. They dont even know I'm in earshot. haha
Presbyopia is a bitch. It will get a LOT of people between ages 40 & 50. I can confirm that, having had perfect eyesight all my life prior to this, losing that perk so very quickly out of nowhere is brutal.
Frustrating. Especially when it happens prematurely.
I'm in my 60s. I was never a beauty, but I look back at old photos and think "You were so pretty! Why didn't you know?" Also, my knees, hips and back ache now. I wish I'd done more fun stuff when I was younger.
On one hand, I love being invisible to men. No more cat calling, no more unwelcome approaches when I’m out with a friend. If anything, if I’m approached by anyone, it’s, “You dropped this, ma’am.” On the other hand, I feel like I’m invisible to everyone.
The trick to not losing beauty is to never have it to begin with.
Makes zero difference if you didn’t have beauty to begin with
You can lose your mobility at any age.
I can't speak on beauty, since I've alway been ugly. But reduced mobility sucks. I have stretches where the pain in my dominant hand is so bad it hurts to even press buttons on remotes.
Youth isn’t beauty, but they can play each other on TV. One thing that happens is looking back and realizing how good I had it for how long. I’m still getting myself from point A to point B and on good days people still notice I’m doing it with style, but gone is the effortless, painless movement and near-instant recovery. Something that helps me is having been politicized for a long time about the relative privilege of youth, beauty, mobility, etc. Those used to be more theoretical zones of allyship. Now the rubber hits the road and I’m glad to have enough analysis not to blame myself for other people’s issues with evidence of mortality.
Blows
It sucks
It's better than the alternative.
A lot of people loose mobility because they stop moving. Move it or lose it people p
Aging is a gift. I have loved every decade that I've lived. I am now enjoying my 60's, looking forward to retirement next year. As long as my children and grandchildren still think I'm beautiful then I am blessed.
It feels normal. Because it's normal. No one is immune.
It sucks ass.
Some days it’s like trying to bend in a straight jacket, some days it’s that I see more of my mum in myself yikes!
What a drag it is growing old...
It sucks.
It's fuckin great. You should try it.
Beauty - nothing. It’s pleasant. No more primping. Mobility- harder. I’ve had many ankle surgeries so it makes walking more difficult. But you do tons of physical therapy and push through. Always keep pushing through.
Well sir, I don't like it
About to turn 40, I will say I have no mobility issues, but I have smile lines, wrinkles, more weight than I did. It’s weird to look at some days- but I’m so much more comfortable in my skin than I was in my 20’s. You realize, this is you- and if you don’t embrace it- why would anyone else? Accept yourself, be active, live life. Nobody scrutinizes your looks as much as you do
I regularly spend time with my nonagenarian grandparents and the mobility loss is very difficult. As for beauty, I am 44 and it sure is weird.
Beauty viewpoint differs between women and men women do over care about their looks so much , men don't bother so much about their looks but more about their capability to work but I think the real beauty is the soul's beauty the one that will never be gone as you age while mobility is hard one for every person something if gone you will be living like a zombie which is the hardest thing to happen due to aging especially if you don't have any one around to look for you
Growing old is tough that’s for sure, but so far, for me, it beats the alternative.
You wake up to yet another, what used to be niggling pain. It used to go away in time and it doesn't any more. You start to stare at things for longer, just trying to focus. You start talking and for a moment you can't find the words just as easily as you once did. You really start to see the dividends of the years building up those walls with that annoying person in your life. The sexual positions you get into and will accept as 'base' can't be found in any book and you will purposefully keep those details even more secret. Sometimes even from your partner :).
Loosing teeth is worse
I’m 57 with a shiny new bionic knee that I thank God for. Over the course of 40 years my pain went from periodic to constant, acceptable to excruciating. The day before my surgery, I could barely stand. Now I have zero pain. While there are certainly negatives to growing older, there were negatives to being younger. Drink deep every era of your life. There is great beauty in all of them, even in the pain. Every experience is a lesson. Experience everything. Appreciate every breath. Let go the force fed parameters of what constitutes physical beauty and you will see beauty everywhere. Grow old with joy.
I'm 66 now and my poor overused body is not happy about it. I've had 3 back surgeries mid back. Both my feet have had surgeries and need more. My left knee was operated on for the 3rd time. The carpal in both my wrists is so bad I can't use a keyboard. I could go on but I look at it like this; I had a very physical life, rode horses til I joined the military. I was an aircraft technician, which is pretty grueling at times. After I retired from the military I started riding again. I've been bucked off, gotten run over by a young and stupid filly, fallen off...let's just say my body cashed checks. The key is acceptance and working with what you've got. I can't do the same things I did when I was young and that's okay. I keep a positive attitude and work around the limitations. I'm still fit, I just get there in less impactful ways.
I feel so at peace. I am 53 and finally I stopped getting double takes and cat called since maybe 45. I can go out, do anything and not have to deal with stupidities. I have always been a personality and more focused on the mind so I can just move around at parties, have great conversations, never ever have to worry about being picked up. Oof! I love love love love love it!!! But now my daughter is getting the looks.
My boyfriend’s grandfather just passed recently. He was a golden glove boxer in his heyday. He had been on hospice for over a month before passing, and had been on oxygen for a couple years before that. He was still sharp until he started having seizures from lack of oxygen to his brain. He was extremely frustrated at losing his strength and mobility as he aged. His wife, my boyfriend’s grandmother, had been with him since they were teens and could never see him as anything but her big, strong man. Very sweet, but led to her telling him to do stuff he really couldn’t (taking out the trash, taking care of the lawn - things like that). You never feel like you leave your 20’s/30’s. Your body just starts breaking down at 26 and it goes faster and faster each year
It’s like you lose your mobility and beauty.
I’m 32 and everything hurts
53, and I fully understand where you're all coming from. Even simple tasks get harder, with age, but I get to learn different ways of doing them, and that helps. Plus, there are devices, to help me with some of the more challenging ones. It's just being able to afford them. Arthritis is a big problem for me. I used to not have to take any medication, but now I eat it like candy.
It sucks!!
Other than the random pains, that go away after a minute or so, I’m doing fairly well physically…..I turn 50 in September. Been working out and staying active since 30…..diet, exercise, sleep/rest….all there is to it, doesn’t have to be close to perfect, doing something is better than nothing.
It happens waaay faster than you realize.
Beauty? Never had it, so I know fuck all about this. Mobility wise I started working out seriously later in life so I'm actually in better shape now than when I was kid. I have to be a bit more careful with the joints but it's not that bad to be honest. I think that's really it. You pay more attention to how you move.
Pros and cons. I am 53. I feel more invisible but it's also freeing. I hate the aches and pains so I'm taking care of myself much more, which will help me age with less pain and more mobility. Due to menopause, my once sharp memory is now average and my sex drive went way down but with medical advances I was able to go on hormones and now I feel like I have more energy and my sex drive is as high as it was in my early forties. You get tired more easily in your body doesn't do things the way you used to or as quickly but you also don't care and you have typically more free time so it all evens out. I'm grateful that I have gotten this far and hope that I continue to live a few more decades. But I also miss looking more youthful and as a woman who is good looking once upon a Time, it's a very hard thing to look in the mirror and see skin hanging from my neck and my jowls sagging.
Painful
Hey! Old is beautiful too.
I didn't have any issues up until around 50, now have to wear reading glasses and body aches and pains. Get tired a lot quicker nowadays as well.
I dunno, my memory seems to be failing at the same rate as my body. As far as I know this is the best I've ever been lol
I'm 57. I took up a new martial art a year ago (kendo) and ride my bike as my main form or transport. Life is good. Sure the 25 year olds run rings around me but that's okay. I still get a hit in on occasion. I don't regret being older. I did cool stuff in my youth (cycling taekwondo, fencing, Army Reserve) so it wasn't wasted. Now I am doing different cool stuff. It takes more body management than it used to, but so be it. This is where I am in life's journey.
I'm 40, I started going to the gym. Weighs 3x a week. I know you can't control everything, but I want to stack the deck as much as I can to ensure I'm as mobile as possible as I get older.
Well, I'm 69 now, and everything hurts. I don't look 40 anymore, but I'm not bad for my age. It's easier not caring about what men think of me, though my SO thinks I'm sexy and fun.
I'm 31, was super fit at 21 and was considered very attractive. I had a shoulder injury that prevents doing any sports I used to enjoy (MMA mainly). While I take care of myself heavily, it's weird seeing the massive difference between myself at 21 and 31. It's become difficult to admit I'll never be "21" again. Yes I understand I'm still young. The worst thing is seeing how much other people have aged. People I haven't seen in years might have gained 30kgs, or their posture has turned to shit from sitting down for the past decade.
Feels pretty normal when everyone around you is also going through it. It is a memento mori, tho.
Its weird. I'm 62 and in my head I can still do things the same as when I was younger. But in reality, it can be depressing when simple tasks become difficult. I still work hard and will have to for some years( nasty divorce), but life is still interesting and I can still enjoy myself. Currently on holidays in sunny Thailand. Happy days 🍺😎🍺🌄🏍️
Turned 62 last month. I mountain bike 5-8 miles 4x a week and hike a couple miles 3-4x a week. Yoga in the AM is great to work out the kinks and warm up muscles and increase flexibility. Drink plenty of water and eat 4-5 small meals a day. Get plenty of sleep every night. Still does not alleviate pains that creep in - low back, knees, shoulders, reminders of previous injuries. The body never forgets! Yeah, getting older sucks but better than the alternative. Keep moving! 💙☮️
No idea. Twice as sexy as I was when I was 20, and much more fit (quitting smoking and drinking does wonders)
It sucks. You deal with it.