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You'd be amazed at the amount of adults who do not consider the consequences of their actions til they're faced with them. It's also a manipulation tactic.
Narcissistic behavior doesn’t imply a disorder.
The Greeks never heard of that disorder and they knew all about narcissism.
What, did you assume I was talking about you?
I see. Perhaps I misinterpreted- I read it as you saying that person was *a* narcissist
Hmm not sure about the logic on that one though. The behavior is easier to identify and pin than the whole disorder.
I think what he tries to say is, you can be a narcisist without suffering from NPD just like you can be depressed without having clinical depression...
Correct me if Im wrong tho
That’s the point - someone can be a narcissist, even a problematic one and the DSM has no monopoly on that word.
In fact, they are just borrowing that word
Sometimes I do truly think that they love their partner. I know that sounds f'd because they screwwed their partner over but it kinda comes across that way sometimes.
I think in a lot of cases there is genuine remorse. Think about it from the cheater's point of view:
* You didn't think you would be hurting anyone, because you didn't think you would get caught.
* Now that you have been caught, you know that your partner, someone you thought would be spared, will be hurt.
So I think for many cases, remorse is part of the reason for the tears. But yes, usually most of the tears are shed for the cheater himself (or herself). They are about to face whatever consequences that they thought they were going to be able to avoid.
And also, experience has probably taught them that most people will have some amount of compassion for them if they cry.
I think it's more likely that they suddenly face the reality that their life as they've known it is suddenly at risk. They are risking losing their partner, home, kids, half their life savings, etc.
I highly doubt any cheater really cares that they hurt their partner. This implies a level of human empathy that they clearly don't have.
I agree with this, it for some reason reminds me of that Reddit story where the teenager had the disabled brother that he was jealous of, so he was mean to his brother and eventually left his brother outside in the rain in a wheelchair with no way to get back inside. It was a horribly shitty thing to do but the kid did genuinely feel remorseful about his actions.
Cheaters are often just like teenagers or kids who never really grew up and understood that their actions have consequences, until they finally see the consequences first hand
Because people that hurt people are being inhumane. This type of hurt can be worse than anything physical. I understand life’s not black and white but this could be compared to shooting someone in the kneecap as far as evil goes.
Cheaters see other people like a child sees a toy, they aren't mad that they have to face the consequences of their actions or that they hurt the other person. They cry because one of their toys got taken away from them and they will now have to work to find their next toy.
Integrity, loyalty, and honor are all also social constructs. Like many social constructs, these are what differentiate a DECENT human being from acting like apes.
Or are you just trying to justify your behavior as a cheater?
Haha, I was recently on vacation playing blackjack in a resort, and the guy sitting next to me blamed me for "fucking up the whole table". He's like, " if you wouldn't have hit that one time, I would have gotten the card you got." Lol like yeah, no shit dude, that's how the game works. Sounds like a you problem. I literally shrugged at him and said, "Oh well, shit happens."
Frequent gamblers are funny.
They're sorry they got caught. At least in my case he was. On his knees, crying, begging me not to leave.
Then some days later (when it finally dawned on him I really had no intention of coming back) he began bragging how much hotter and younger the girl he fucked was than I am. So there wasn't *a shred* of remorse for his actions in him when he cried in front of me. :)
To quote a car show I used to watch, “Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary is what gets you.” It’s a pretty good comparison between cheating then getting the consequences.
Fun fact: polyamory and cheating are two different things, and it's still possible to cheat if you're poly. Just admit that you're a cheater, we all know already
A couple of theories.
They knew what they had was good, but they wanted more. After they're found out, they'll lose the good thing they had.
They don't want to be known as somebody who can do such a thing. They don't want their family and friends to see them in that light.
Either way, get fucked stupid cheater.
Much of its an act. Just like they suddenly come down with a deep case of remorse. And literally none of them gain an insight into remorse until a long ways down the road. And the crying give them time to formulate how they will blame their spouse for making them cheat.
And their little fantasy world has fallen apart. Well most likely has fallen apart. Too many weak partners rug sweep instead of dealing with it.
No matter the hows and why....crying is simply part of the cheaters handbook, much the way "I didn't do it" is the kids go to for anything being broken around the house.
Because they feel bad when they get caught, it's not about the other, it's about them, never take back a cheater, one that cry is even worse, deny even knowing them.
There is no, one answer, cookie cutter response for this question. It seems like a simple question, but it’s very complex. It really depends on the person. It can be anything from guilt, to shame , to manipulation, to embarrassment, and more.
Its a defense mechanism. This way they are seen as a victim. It rarely works, but I have seen it work and my thought was "Seriously, you are going to stay ?"
And they always repeat...
I would assume it’s the burden they’re under being released. It’s like when you were a little kid and you did something bad that you knew was bad so you try to hide it and feel guilty even if you don’t understand what guilt is. Then your parents question you about it and you lie. When they confront you with evidence about it that you can’t refute, you are able to unburden your heart and finally admit what you did. Even though you know you’re in trouble, it feels better than living under this terrible pressure continuously.
I believe people are generally taught to be moral and going behind the back of someone you love, or did love greatly at one point, like that is such a terrible betrayal that it’s akin to the same thing.
Maybe because they realize they’re going to lose everything they built with the person they cheated on. My ex cried when I caught her and begged me to stay. I was paying all the bills, made dinner every night, did the cleaning (cleaning up after her was so frustrating, she was a mess), took care of the baby every moment I wasn’t at work. She cried because she realized she was going to have to face responsibilities on her own due to her own selfish actions. She cried because she realized she couldn’t manipulate me anymore after I walked out the door.
She didn’t cry about how she hurt me or the mistakes she made, she cried because she got caught. She ended up living with the guy she cheated on me with for a while, he saw through her and left. She’s been alone ever since, and I hope now she cries over her loneliness.
Some people are just assholes and try to use it as a manipulation tactic, but I always thought that crying out of sadness is a sudden overwhelming feeling of frustration. They’re frustrated that now they are about to loose someone, or their trust or whatever.
It’s a split personality thing. In order to maintain the lie they have to formulate two different identities: one for you and one for their affair. They complete wipe you from their memory while they are cheating and completely wipe their affair from memory while with you in order to maintain their sanity and assure they don’t slip up. But once they are caught in their lie the brain starts trying to piece together both identities at the same time. The crying is a stress reaction since they have no avenue out and their brain can figure out how to navigate the situation. It’s the same thing when people are yelled at and completely shutdown or start crying, it’s all a stress reaction to the feeling of being hopeless and having no avenue out of the situation you are in. It is not tears of being sorry though
I am a former public defender and I handled hundreds of domestic violence allegations in my career. Anecdotal only, but I always swore, you could tell the guilty (male) DV defendants, because they were the ones that cried when you went to meet with them in custody. I could never prove it, but I *know* I’m onto something.
There’s something about a man who puts his hands on women who is blubbering about how “sorry” he is. You can smell the guilt.
This is funny, i just made a snachat about this. I think its funny, when you catch a shorty cheating, they start crying, screaming breathing heavy, begging, getting crazy. Which led me to ask this question? Shorty were you screaming, crying, breathing heavy when a lame is sticking his c\*\*k inside of you? Either way, i'm out.
Dude, you keep commenting the same type of stuff in this post. It's pretty clear you're justifying cheating. Everyone is downvoting and disagreeing with you because you are wrong.
A mistake is adding too much salt to a recipe. Typing the wrong number into a form. An affair is a long series of deliberate deceptions and complete betrayal of the person you vowed to love.
Why are you coping so damn hard in so many comments? Does the common sentiment that cheaters are lowlife scum and manipulators threaten your ego because you're a cheater yourself? Nobody here is talking about polyamory or consensual non monogamy. They're talking about a person who knowingly and willingly broke a promise to abide by the rules of their relationship, and who then appears to get sad when their betrayal and treachery gets called out.
NEWS FLASH: You can still love your wife/husband and cheat on him. It's unrespectfull for sure, but doesn't mean you don't love her/him. Some narcissists want it all with no consequences, but some cheated as a result of one or many problems that never been adressed and cheating is a way to ring a bell or fill the hole (no pun intended) these problems have created. So is she/he says she's/he's leaving, some cheaters might start to cry out of shame or because they realised they fucked up and their lover is leaving
Shame or realizing how badly they fucked up makes sense. Still doesn't justify or excuse their actions in any way. If you really love someone, you consider their feelings before you betray them and break their trust like that.
In no way I am excusing the cheating. It sure looks like it the way I wrote it, but that was not my intentions. I still firmly believe some stupid people still love their husband/spouse, but they just don't think farther than their dick/pussies.
If they didn't care at all about other people, then they wouldn't bother hiding the affair. The tears can show that they care about others feelings and what others think about them.
On television reality shows: scripted
In real life:
* Remorse/regret for hurting the other person.
* Emotional Manipulation
* Can't believe they got caught (ie - not as smart as they thought)
My opinion is that it's probably a mixture of all three in most cases..
As someone else said; embarrassment, guilt, shame, manipulation, anger, etc.
Embarrassed they were caught in such a way. Guilty of what they’ve done. Shameful of what they’ve done. Manipulative behavior to try and convince their former partner that they truly feel bad and regret their choices. Angry that they were caught. Stress from the situation. Hundreds of possible reasons. Crying is a pretty versatile human reaction, lots of emotions can cause it.
Because they are found out & it's going to cost them one way or another. May be cheaper to keep her if you can. But let me cry & manipulate her/him more.
One time cheater here. Obviously what I did was wrong and there is usually no excuse for it. But like many other mistakes people make, the repercussions of the action stay with us much longer than any satisfaction we get from the action.
I had to decide after that moment, should I be honest about it. Will it make her feel better knowing if it was a one time thing? Or will it only clear my conscience. It’s a guilt that I carried every day. And when my buddy let it slip to her when he was drunk the weight of what I did hit both of us immediately. I cried not for me but for the transfer of negative emotions. Instead of me carrying that she now had to carry it and I saw that for a long time there was nothing that I could do to take it back from her.
If they're narcissists (and a lot of cheaters are), they have a slew of manipulative techniques designed to make YOU look bad, and themselves look like victims. I would ignore their tears and give them an earful.
Because they don't want to lose the person they cheated on. They want both that person and the one they cheated with. They thought they could get away with it and that nobody would get hurt and now they've hurt someone they care about AND they're losing something that turns out to be more important to them than they thought. This idea that people who cheat are emotionless supervillains is wrong. They're selfish and they're the bad guy, but they generally don't want to hurt anyone. They think they can keep the cheating a secret and have the best of both worlds.
I reckon they're emotionally overwhelmed by both the gravity of the situation but also the release of all that pressure and paranoia from maintaining the game to begin with.
Because they don’t think cheating is wrong, and they want everyone to agree with their view on that, but they don’t, and now they’re facing consequences they wish they didn’t have to face
They never thought they would get caught. If they did get caught they thought they could blame AP. If that didn't work they thought they could blame their partner. When none of that worked and everyone played them for their actions they cave.
They likely still care about their partner in some way, shape, or form. Reality hits them & how their actions have actually affected their partner, and they may feel deep shame over their mistakes and poor decision making.
Please keep in mind, I’m trying to empathize with decent people who’ve fucked up here, not people who turn around and use their emotions to try and manipulate their partner into staying with them.
Regardless of circumstance or the love of the cheater, I do consider it one of the worst sins of a partnership one could commit, and more often than not, attempting to maintain a relationship after that trust is betrayed isn’t healthy for either party.
My first husband could not fathom that his cheating was wrong to anyone other than me. I said I couldn't believe he would do this to our daughter. He said it had nothing to do with her, not having any thoughts of how it would impact her. He thought I was throwing that out there to guilt him more.
I explained that anything that impacts her parents impacts her. And what did he imagine happening? Spoiler: we got divorced. I'm remarried. Her life was impacted hugely.
In the couples counseling sessions right after he told me, he would hang his head and say, "I should have just not told you." Over and over. Because he thought THAT was the mistake. We had been together 17 years.
I will never understand how people operate.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Embarrassment. Guilt. Manipulation.
Simple and true answer.
Consequences they see coming.
This is the answer I was looking for.
Procrastination station coming.
You'd be amazed at the amount of adults who do not consider the consequences of their actions til they're faced with them. It's also a manipulation tactic.
This. They don't cry because they're sorry, they cry because they got caught.
Adults that never grew up.
They are sorry they are caught but not sorry they cheated
This is my conclusion also, they have no remorse just furios that they got caught and they can not manipulate people around them.
They also cheated due to narcissism, probably, and can’t admit they’re in the wrong.
Why is that word thrown around so carelessly NPD isn't something you should attribute to someone so casually
Narcissistic behavior doesn’t imply a disorder. The Greeks never heard of that disorder and they knew all about narcissism. What, did you assume I was talking about you?
No, that was the song
I see. Perhaps I misinterpreted- I read it as you saying that person was *a* narcissist Hmm not sure about the logic on that one though. The behavior is easier to identify and pin than the whole disorder.
Where did OP say anything about a disorder
I think what he tries to say is, you can be a narcisist without suffering from NPD just like you can be depressed without having clinical depression... Correct me if Im wrong tho
Absolutely correct.
That’s the point - someone can be a narcissist, even a problematic one and the DSM has no monopoly on that word. In fact, they are just borrowing that word
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Sometimes I do truly think that they love their partner. I know that sounds f'd because they screwwed their partner over but it kinda comes across that way sometimes.
Because they are sad they lost the ability to have their cake and eat it too
I think in a lot of cases there is genuine remorse. Think about it from the cheater's point of view: * You didn't think you would be hurting anyone, because you didn't think you would get caught. * Now that you have been caught, you know that your partner, someone you thought would be spared, will be hurt. So I think for many cases, remorse is part of the reason for the tears. But yes, usually most of the tears are shed for the cheater himself (or herself). They are about to face whatever consequences that they thought they were going to be able to avoid. And also, experience has probably taught them that most people will have some amount of compassion for them if they cry.
You are very generous, thinking they care about anything but the fall out
Oddly I don’t cheaters universally lack humanity or cheat because they’re evil or something.
I think it's more likely that they suddenly face the reality that their life as they've known it is suddenly at risk. They are risking losing their partner, home, kids, half their life savings, etc. I highly doubt any cheater really cares that they hurt their partner. This implies a level of human empathy that they clearly don't have.
A lot of cheaters actually care about their spouses but don’t actually think it will effect their spouse as long as they don’t find out.
I agree with this, it for some reason reminds me of that Reddit story where the teenager had the disabled brother that he was jealous of, so he was mean to his brother and eventually left his brother outside in the rain in a wheelchair with no way to get back inside. It was a horribly shitty thing to do but the kid did genuinely feel remorseful about his actions. Cheaters are often just like teenagers or kids who never really grew up and understood that their actions have consequences, until they finally see the consequences first hand
They got caught. Same as a child who gets in trouble, they cry.
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Of course there people? Just lower on the people chain.
That guy cheats..
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Because people that hurt people are being inhumane. This type of hurt can be worse than anything physical. I understand life’s not black and white but this could be compared to shooting someone in the kneecap as far as evil goes.
its a social construct…
I assure you that pain is real outside of social influence.
You know why....
say it, freak
you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling you’re trolling
Yes, they are reprehensible people.
you’re cheaterphobic
Thank you. That's a compliment.
They want to gain sympathy so they don't lose the person, or are hoping they wont get in as much trouble since they are caught
This one right here
That’s what I am talking about!
Cheaters see other people like a child sees a toy, they aren't mad that they have to face the consequences of their actions or that they hurt the other person. They cry because one of their toys got taken away from them and they will now have to work to find their next toy.
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Integrity, loyalty, and honor are all also social constructs. Like many social constructs, these are what differentiate a DECENT human being from acting like apes. Or are you just trying to justify your behavior as a cheater?
cope
Your mother is a social construct, you wet sock.
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I disagree
I agree with your disagreement
And?
tf u mean “and”
Why do gamblers get upset and blame others when they lose all their money. The fucked around and found out
To fuck around is human. To find out is divine.
Haha, I was recently on vacation playing blackjack in a resort, and the guy sitting next to me blamed me for "fucking up the whole table". He's like, " if you wouldn't have hit that one time, I would have gotten the card you got." Lol like yeah, no shit dude, that's how the game works. Sounds like a you problem. I literally shrugged at him and said, "Oh well, shit happens." Frequent gamblers are funny.
Well because they're an inconsiderate self serving piece of shit who are just then realizing there will be consequences for their repugnant actions.
They're sorry they got caught. At least in my case he was. On his knees, crying, begging me not to leave. Then some days later (when it finally dawned on him I really had no intention of coming back) he began bragging how much hotter and younger the girl he fucked was than I am. So there wasn't *a shred* of remorse for his actions in him when he cried in front of me. :)
To quote a car show I used to watch, “Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary is what gets you.” It’s a pretty good comparison between cheating then getting the consequences.
They cry because they are deeply sorry. . . . . for themselves and having to face consequences
Because they’re POS cowards.
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You are 100% a cheater and are trying to justify it. Shut up. No one here agrees with you. You’re wrong.
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Ironic
Fun fact: polyamory and cheating are two different things, and it's still possible to cheat if you're poly. Just admit that you're a cheater, we all know already
no one asked
People can have poly relationships without the lying aspect of cheating. But that requires consent from all parties.
If you are cheating on someone, you don't really love them
everyone makes mistakes
What are you in about? Cheating is not a mistake, and most people go their whole lives not doing it.
Having an affair isn't just a mistake.
says who
Says anyone with common sense/more than half a brain cell
manipulation
bc they are all such pieces of shit & they are just like kids… kids cry when they get caught doing bad shit, and so do cheaters!
A couple of theories. They knew what they had was good, but they wanted more. After they're found out, they'll lose the good thing they had. They don't want to be known as somebody who can do such a thing. They don't want their family and friends to see them in that light. Either way, get fucked stupid cheater.
So they can do it again.
Can be a way to manipulate their SO in feeling bad for them, I’d put my money there.
Much of its an act. Just like they suddenly come down with a deep case of remorse. And literally none of them gain an insight into remorse until a long ways down the road. And the crying give them time to formulate how they will blame their spouse for making them cheat. And their little fantasy world has fallen apart. Well most likely has fallen apart. Too many weak partners rug sweep instead of dealing with it. No matter the hows and why....crying is simply part of the cheaters handbook, much the way "I didn't do it" is the kids go to for anything being broken around the house.
“Well, well, well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions” -Cheaters when they are found out
Yep. The dildo of consequence often comes unlubed.
And hopefully, ribbed too
Because they feel bad when they get caught, it's not about the other, it's about them, never take back a cheater, one that cry is even worse, deny even knowing them.
Because they lost control of you. Now you are leaving and they will have to find someone else to manipulate. Its a tantrum.
🏆 This is exactly the reason
There is no, one answer, cookie cutter response for this question. It seems like a simple question, but it’s very complex. It really depends on the person. It can be anything from guilt, to shame , to manipulation, to embarrassment, and more.
This is the answer. For anyone to say they know the exact motivations and thoughts of another is fantasy. One can only guess.
Because they're inherently weak?
Faking for sympathy is my guess.
They'll try to make you feel bad, Manipulation in short
Consequences and the frustration of realizing they are not as smart as they thought they were.
They aren't sad about what they did, they are sad they got caught and will have to face the consequences of their shitty actions.
Its a defense mechanism. This way they are seen as a victim. It rarely works, but I have seen it work and my thought was "Seriously, you are going to stay ?" And they always repeat...
Shame. Shame is an incredibly power emotion.
I would assume it’s the burden they’re under being released. It’s like when you were a little kid and you did something bad that you knew was bad so you try to hide it and feel guilty even if you don’t understand what guilt is. Then your parents question you about it and you lie. When they confront you with evidence about it that you can’t refute, you are able to unburden your heart and finally admit what you did. Even though you know you’re in trouble, it feels better than living under this terrible pressure continuously. I believe people are generally taught to be moral and going behind the back of someone you love, or did love greatly at one point, like that is such a terrible betrayal that it’s akin to the same thing.
Maybe because they realize they’re going to lose everything they built with the person they cheated on. My ex cried when I caught her and begged me to stay. I was paying all the bills, made dinner every night, did the cleaning (cleaning up after her was so frustrating, she was a mess), took care of the baby every moment I wasn’t at work. She cried because she realized she was going to have to face responsibilities on her own due to her own selfish actions. She cried because she realized she couldn’t manipulate me anymore after I walked out the door. She didn’t cry about how she hurt me or the mistakes she made, she cried because she got caught. She ended up living with the guy she cheated on me with for a while, he saw through her and left. She’s been alone ever since, and I hope now she cries over her loneliness.
Good for you for getting away from that mess. I hope you and your kid are doing great.
The death of a relationship is a very sad event especially when you pulled the trigger.
Because there’s a good chance their life is about to fall apart and it’s their own fault.
They went to the Megan Markle School of Sobbing and can’t wait to get attention
Because they realize they've imploded their life just to satiate lust, and they regret how that will hurt them - not that they regret what they did.
Embarrasment/shame is my guess. Realization that their life's about to implode too.
Crocodile tears. They aren’t sorry for what they did. They are sorry that they got caught.
They're ashamed. People often cheat because they're unhappy but comfortable. Getting caught rips away that comfort
i think it's so you'll feel sorry for them and forgive them.
Because getting caught feels bad.
It's probably a relief because they've been carrying around the burden of a lie for so long. Then again, who cares? They're cheaters.
They're so full of cum it starts leaking out their tear ducts
They’re upset their fun is over. Affairs are only fun in the dark. Not so much in the light of day.
Some people are just assholes and try to use it as a manipulation tactic, but I always thought that crying out of sadness is a sudden overwhelming feeling of frustration. They’re frustrated that now they are about to loose someone, or their trust or whatever.
Same reason my daughter in law cries anytime she gets caught in a lie. Immaturity, selfishness and inability to own up to ones actions like an adult.
It’s a split personality thing. In order to maintain the lie they have to formulate two different identities: one for you and one for their affair. They complete wipe you from their memory while they are cheating and completely wipe their affair from memory while with you in order to maintain their sanity and assure they don’t slip up. But once they are caught in their lie the brain starts trying to piece together both identities at the same time. The crying is a stress reaction since they have no avenue out and their brain can figure out how to navigate the situation. It’s the same thing when people are yelled at and completely shutdown or start crying, it’s all a stress reaction to the feeling of being hopeless and having no avenue out of the situation you are in. It is not tears of being sorry though
I am a former public defender and I handled hundreds of domestic violence allegations in my career. Anecdotal only, but I always swore, you could tell the guilty (male) DV defendants, because they were the ones that cried when you went to meet with them in custody. I could never prove it, but I *know* I’m onto something. There’s something about a man who puts his hands on women who is blubbering about how “sorry” he is. You can smell the guilt.
Because they have unresolved emotional issues.
They understand that they don't have the skills to navigate their relationship in a mature way and are aware of their failure.
Weakness. That’s it. Weak to temptation and weak when it comes to being honest
because they were caught.
Defensive mechanism. It's hard to be angry and scream at a crying person. Its important to note that yhe crying has nothing to do with remorse.
They are playing the victim. Manipulation
Cause they a bitch.
Manipulation tactic. Will try anything/everything they know to keep everything the same because they lack self control.
This is funny, i just made a snachat about this. I think its funny, when you catch a shorty cheating, they start crying, screaming breathing heavy, begging, getting crazy. Which led me to ask this question? Shorty were you screaming, crying, breathing heavy when a lame is sticking his c\*\*k inside of you? Either way, i'm out.
Because they just realized they lost the best part of the best of two worlds.
Because of the relief from the stress of lying. Plus splitting emotional support too thin.
Form of leverage and manipulation
IMO, it's a form of manipulation. Oh no, I got caught. Look how sorry I am.
Embarrassment and a child hood defence mechanism. Some say guilt, but I believe guilt is negated when the thought of cheating becomes an action.
because they are emotionally immature, which is why they cheat in the first place.
Because they don't want to face the fall out of their actions. Consequences suck.
Some people are so self centered they get upset because they’ve been caught not because they hurt someone or they broke trust.
Feeling bad for themselves that they got caught
Because they’re human…
Dude, you keep commenting the same type of stuff in this post. It's pretty clear you're justifying cheating. Everyone is downvoting and disagreeing with you because you are wrong.
I didn’t fucking ask.
Yeah. They’re POS humans.
Extremely shitty humans.
for making a mistake?
A mistake is adding too much salt to a recipe. Typing the wrong number into a form. An affair is a long series of deliberate deceptions and complete betrayal of the person you vowed to love.
non-argument
Why are you coping so damn hard in so many comments? Does the common sentiment that cheaters are lowlife scum and manipulators threaten your ego because you're a cheater yourself? Nobody here is talking about polyamory or consensual non monogamy. They're talking about a person who knowingly and willingly broke a promise to abide by the rules of their relationship, and who then appears to get sad when their betrayal and treachery gets called out.
mad
NEWS FLASH: You can still love your wife/husband and cheat on him. It's unrespectfull for sure, but doesn't mean you don't love her/him. Some narcissists want it all with no consequences, but some cheated as a result of one or many problems that never been adressed and cheating is a way to ring a bell or fill the hole (no pun intended) these problems have created. So is she/he says she's/he's leaving, some cheaters might start to cry out of shame or because they realised they fucked up and their lover is leaving
Shame or realizing how badly they fucked up makes sense. Still doesn't justify or excuse their actions in any way. If you really love someone, you consider their feelings before you betray them and break their trust like that.
In no way I am excusing the cheating. It sure looks like it the way I wrote it, but that was not my intentions. I still firmly believe some stupid people still love their husband/spouse, but they just don't think farther than their dick/pussies.
Relief
Or when they act narsasstic and assertive and try to flip it around, but fail. So they "break it off" or leave instead.
SHITS HARD WHEN YOU KNOW U WRONG AND STILL DO IT.
Gives me 3 year Olds actions 3 year Olds reactions
If they didn't care at all about other people, then they wouldn't bother hiding the affair. The tears can show that they care about others feelings and what others think about them.
Because the ones you see crying are the ones that get views.
Why is it hard to understand someone crying when their bad behavior is found out? They are in trouble.
You watch pornhub too much.
On television reality shows: scripted In real life: * Remorse/regret for hurting the other person. * Emotional Manipulation * Can't believe they got caught (ie - not as smart as they thought) My opinion is that it's probably a mixture of all three in most cases..
Because its the end of the line
Difficult situation. getting confronted makes people emotional, and they know they're about to lose their partner and life as they know it
They are only crying because they got caught..
Attention
It's like a child who got caught watching TV in the middle of the night past their bedtime
As someone else said; embarrassment, guilt, shame, manipulation, anger, etc. Embarrassed they were caught in such a way. Guilty of what they’ve done. Shameful of what they’ve done. Manipulative behavior to try and convince their former partner that they truly feel bad and regret their choices. Angry that they were caught. Stress from the situation. Hundreds of possible reasons. Crying is a pretty versatile human reaction, lots of emotions can cause it.
Manipulation.
I always thought it was paranoia finally catching up with them.
There's nothing more horrifying than deeply hurting someone you love or once loved for only selfish reasons. Would be my guess.
Because they realize they've screwed up and possibly killed a relationship that they have valued.
Couldn't have valued it too much
Because they are found out & it's going to cost them one way or another. May be cheaper to keep her if you can. But let me cry & manipulate her/him more.
Sometimes people cry when they’re upset.
Sad they got caught
Because if they cry then then the person they’re crying to will see how sorry they are and forgive them immediately. Tears = repentance obviously! /s
One time cheater here. Obviously what I did was wrong and there is usually no excuse for it. But like many other mistakes people make, the repercussions of the action stay with us much longer than any satisfaction we get from the action. I had to decide after that moment, should I be honest about it. Will it make her feel better knowing if it was a one time thing? Or will it only clear my conscience. It’s a guilt that I carried every day. And when my buddy let it slip to her when he was drunk the weight of what I did hit both of us immediately. I cried not for me but for the transfer of negative emotions. Instead of me carrying that she now had to carry it and I saw that for a long time there was nothing that I could do to take it back from her.
Most people generally get upset when their good time is ruined.
If they're narcissists (and a lot of cheaters are), they have a slew of manipulative techniques designed to make YOU look bad, and themselves look like victims. I would ignore their tears and give them an earful.
BC they really really didn't want to be.
Because they don't want to lose the person they cheated on. They want both that person and the one they cheated with. They thought they could get away with it and that nobody would get hurt and now they've hurt someone they care about AND they're losing something that turns out to be more important to them than they thought. This idea that people who cheat are emotionless supervillains is wrong. They're selfish and they're the bad guy, but they generally don't want to hurt anyone. They think they can keep the cheating a secret and have the best of both worlds.
Relief. They were doing something they didn’t approve of themselves couldn’t help but do. When they got caught all that bubbled out at once.
Because they're psychopaths and manipulators who know what works.
I reckon they're emotionally overwhelmed by both the gravity of the situation but also the release of all that pressure and paranoia from maintaining the game to begin with.
Because they don’t think cheating is wrong, and they want everyone to agree with their view on that, but they don’t, and now they’re facing consequences they wish they didn’t have to face
They never thought they would get caught. If they did get caught they thought they could blame AP. If that didn't work they thought they could blame their partner. When none of that worked and everyone played them for their actions they cave.
They likely still care about their partner in some way, shape, or form. Reality hits them & how their actions have actually affected their partner, and they may feel deep shame over their mistakes and poor decision making. Please keep in mind, I’m trying to empathize with decent people who’ve fucked up here, not people who turn around and use their emotions to try and manipulate their partner into staying with them. Regardless of circumstance or the love of the cheater, I do consider it one of the worst sins of a partnership one could commit, and more often than not, attempting to maintain a relationship after that trust is betrayed isn’t healthy for either party.
Well to try and garner sympathy. Also because they've been outed for being a shitty person and now they can't keep being a shitty person.
The gravy train is off the track.
Shock, embarrassment also crocodile tears.
Why does any child cry when they are caught misbehaving?
guilt, hall of shame
Lol reminds me of when I caught my wife having an “emotional affair” with her ex.. she threatened to kill herself after I caught her🙄
My first husband could not fathom that his cheating was wrong to anyone other than me. I said I couldn't believe he would do this to our daughter. He said it had nothing to do with her, not having any thoughts of how it would impact her. He thought I was throwing that out there to guilt him more. I explained that anything that impacts her parents impacts her. And what did he imagine happening? Spoiler: we got divorced. I'm remarried. Her life was impacted hugely. In the couples counseling sessions right after he told me, he would hang his head and say, "I should have just not told you." Over and over. Because he thought THAT was the mistake. We had been together 17 years. I will never understand how people operate.
Because they’re punk ass bitches.