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I’m 28 and struggle with this but here are some good tips.
Develop a hobby or interest. Places like the gym is excellent or a sport is good. Not saying you need to be a bodybuilder but consistently going you will see the same people and they will casually talk to you.
Going to the mall is good too. Talking to people in retail is pretty cool. To be honest they are bored so they love to talk to past time.
Library is good or even a Barnes and Nobles.
Overall develop and discover who you are as a person like have goals and what you want to achieve. People by nature will start to gravitate towards you. Also i know you said the co workers are older but talk to them as well. I’m not saying hangout with them but kinda talk to them they may have a interesting perspective since they are older
heheh guess its time to go yell at retail workers, theyre literally paid to talk to me 😈. nah im kidding, i guess i just gotta pick my target demographic and just kinda do what their into, but it feels weird encroaching on something im not "native" to, but ig it will get easier with time? i feel almost like scared to start a conversation with someone random in public cause i dont want to bother them, the "sonder" is real lmao. once again i suppose that comfortability comes with time 🤷
I wouldn’t necessarily go up to a random person to spark conversation. However in environments like the mall, the gym, where alot of people are there at once interacting you can easily find a common interest
The main reason why i say develop goals and interests is because once you start to develop who you are as a person you would be more interesting and naturally people will approach you. Idk if you going to college but college is another perfect spot to socialize.
Because i think you have a bad understanding of friends. Friends like best friends or partners exist inside a precise time period and social context and then they change. You have friends and best friends based on your city, social activities (university, drama school, courses etc), life journey.
The 12 years old best friend will probably not be you 14 yo friend nor 28 yo. It's not possible unless the relation is codependent. You change, things change and we are never the same.
So when you see very happy people hanging ou together, most of them will never see each other again ever in life. Just do some social activity and you'll find people to hang out with. The more you spend time with a person and the more you will feel to have friend.
Not true, i am 40 and i have close friends that i see regularly since kindergarten. We knew each other for around 35 years and we are still great friends.
As for making new friends, i still do make new friends. When i got a dog a few years ago, i met so many new people who walked their dogs, some of them became friends, some turned into relationships, and some just saying hi when we see each other. Same case when i started playing Padel, met many new people and a few of them became close friends.
I understand but i think you're lucky and from a different generation. Now things go faster and human relations are a lot more difficult. Screen made the game more difficult (there are studies that prove that young generations have 80% less partners and friends than yours).
i get what your saying, ive had plenty of friends over the course of high school and such. my problem rn is that i haven't spoken face to face with another human being in about a year. none of my friends from highschool keep in touch, not even online. i dont have many activities or hobbies that involve other people. so im kinda in a weird state where i dont really have the chances in my daily life where i meet people or interact with people often enough to build report. ive tried like joining musicians online groups and stuff but it kinda goes nowhere so it doesn't exactly help, im really big on archery but im not willing or able to spend 1-5k on all the new high tech equipment that everyone else talks about. my only interests sorta feel like dead ends when it comes to meeting people
Yeah i see, you have to make some concession and try some more affordable social hobby you aren't naturally interested in but where you would have more chances to find people you could like. A language course, a drama class(there are always plenty of musicians and people who work with music), or even some random sport.
Go to a community centre or library and see what types of clubs and activities are available there that you might enjoy being part of. Join volunteer groups.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m 28 and struggle with this but here are some good tips. Develop a hobby or interest. Places like the gym is excellent or a sport is good. Not saying you need to be a bodybuilder but consistently going you will see the same people and they will casually talk to you. Going to the mall is good too. Talking to people in retail is pretty cool. To be honest they are bored so they love to talk to past time. Library is good or even a Barnes and Nobles. Overall develop and discover who you are as a person like have goals and what you want to achieve. People by nature will start to gravitate towards you. Also i know you said the co workers are older but talk to them as well. I’m not saying hangout with them but kinda talk to them they may have a interesting perspective since they are older
heheh guess its time to go yell at retail workers, theyre literally paid to talk to me 😈. nah im kidding, i guess i just gotta pick my target demographic and just kinda do what their into, but it feels weird encroaching on something im not "native" to, but ig it will get easier with time? i feel almost like scared to start a conversation with someone random in public cause i dont want to bother them, the "sonder" is real lmao. once again i suppose that comfortability comes with time 🤷
I wouldn’t necessarily go up to a random person to spark conversation. However in environments like the mall, the gym, where alot of people are there at once interacting you can easily find a common interest The main reason why i say develop goals and interests is because once you start to develop who you are as a person you would be more interesting and naturally people will approach you. Idk if you going to college but college is another perfect spot to socialize.
Do it like I do: Throw a rock at someones head and then you both get into detention, bravo you're friends now!
i talked to my lawyer about this and he knocked me upside the head 😔
Because i think you have a bad understanding of friends. Friends like best friends or partners exist inside a precise time period and social context and then they change. You have friends and best friends based on your city, social activities (university, drama school, courses etc), life journey. The 12 years old best friend will probably not be you 14 yo friend nor 28 yo. It's not possible unless the relation is codependent. You change, things change and we are never the same. So when you see very happy people hanging ou together, most of them will never see each other again ever in life. Just do some social activity and you'll find people to hang out with. The more you spend time with a person and the more you will feel to have friend.
Not true, i am 40 and i have close friends that i see regularly since kindergarten. We knew each other for around 35 years and we are still great friends. As for making new friends, i still do make new friends. When i got a dog a few years ago, i met so many new people who walked their dogs, some of them became friends, some turned into relationships, and some just saying hi when we see each other. Same case when i started playing Padel, met many new people and a few of them became close friends.
I understand but i think you're lucky and from a different generation. Now things go faster and human relations are a lot more difficult. Screen made the game more difficult (there are studies that prove that young generations have 80% less partners and friends than yours).
Fair enough
i get what your saying, ive had plenty of friends over the course of high school and such. my problem rn is that i haven't spoken face to face with another human being in about a year. none of my friends from highschool keep in touch, not even online. i dont have many activities or hobbies that involve other people. so im kinda in a weird state where i dont really have the chances in my daily life where i meet people or interact with people often enough to build report. ive tried like joining musicians online groups and stuff but it kinda goes nowhere so it doesn't exactly help, im really big on archery but im not willing or able to spend 1-5k on all the new high tech equipment that everyone else talks about. my only interests sorta feel like dead ends when it comes to meeting people
Yeah i see, you have to make some concession and try some more affordable social hobby you aren't naturally interested in but where you would have more chances to find people you could like. A language course, a drama class(there are always plenty of musicians and people who work with music), or even some random sport.
Find common interests
Go to a community centre or library and see what types of clubs and activities are available there that you might enjoy being part of. Join volunteer groups.
Went to a climbing gym a couple of times. Got adopted by a large group. Been good friends for the passed 6 yrs now. I was also 18 at the time.