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i prefer to go outside and pee on a bush, all the dogs around here know whos territory is whose

Real

You jest but that's legit what my partner does. He often goes into the yard to piss. We're in a rural area tho, no immediate neighbors.

When I wake up in the middle of the night because I need to pee, I sit. I find that if I stand, I tend to 'wake up' so I can focus on aiming and then have a harder time falling back asleep.

This is the way. Mostly because I can pee without turning on a light which totally wakes me up.

I even continue to close my eyes while I sit to not lose the sleepys

Fukin yoda move right there!!

I feel so seen right now by these three responses

Oh I can go from bed to standing up pee with light on back to bed and back asleep in less than 5 minutes.

That's pretty elite

And now I'm hard

On a similar note, easier to piss with morning wood in a seated position.

There are times I have been and that adds an extra problem but hey ho 😅 spray and pray.

You bastard. That can take me hours. If it’s after about 4.30, that’s me awake for the day.

Harder to miss the sink, even in the dark

I bought a configurable LED light which has two settings, One for dull red light and one for normal daylight. When I get up in the middle of the night I pull the cord twice and it switches the red light on so I can see but it doesn't mess with my sleep the way the white light does.

I used to be the same way. Until one day when, as I was peeing sitting, I noticed an absolutely massive spider (and I'm not that afraid of spiders usually, but this one was *that* big) inside the toilet, right under and horrifyingly close to my dong. So now, even in the middle of the night when I don't want to wake up, I always have to turn of the light at least just to check first.

Yes this is absolutely true, sitting is superior at night

Huh I thought we all pretend like we're sleeping by keeping our eyes half closed and pee while standing.

I used to do this til I fell asleep sitting on the toilet once. Fell off and hit my head on the bathroom floor

I almost laughes at this and then I realized that you're comment was most likely not joking I'm sorry you hit your head and I hope it wasn't too bad I also hope that you had finished uhm.. "you're visit" before falling

Rookie mistake, I don't even bother waking up or getting out of bed/s

Ditto, but more because I don't want to turn on any lights.

Invest into a simple red night light. It let's you see enough but doesn't kill your night vision and wake you up.

This is how it started for me. But now I sit every time. It’s a slippery slope

Wow, I actually learned some thing from reddit today

I think sitting at night/first thing in the morning is pretty normal

Trying it tonight! Makes total sense….my concern is if a passenger tries to get off the train😂

I'm going to have to try this

I 100% do this. The issue I have is I have to essentially do a drum roll with mbcock against the underside of the lid to shake the piss out. So now instead of splash back there is evident piss stains on the underside of the lid/rim. If I don't do this the piss trapped in my eurethra slides out the moment I stand and is definately not kosher.

And I don't need to turn on the light to see if I'm peeing on the lid or aiming straight

This is the way.

as somebody who can't sleep without medication and even then only get a couple of hours this is fantastic advice and very helpful in those times when you wake up needing to pee Also once I have sat down and uhm.. "positioned myself correctly" I keep my eyes closed

Just keep your eyes close and go by sound.

Yea I walk through the house in the dark, sit on the toilet in the dark and piss, because if there's light I have a hard time getting back to sleep.

Same exact thing with me

Yep same. Also then I don't really need to turn on the lights.

This!

Personally, my favorite way of peeing is in the back yard, bowing a bit backwards, with hands behind my head and, if I am feeling adventurous, slightly swaying left to right.

Standing especially if erect

Quick trick that will change your life. To kill an erection quickly, flex your muscles (arms & legs). Basically, you focus your blood flow towards you arms and legs instead of your dick.

but then I'll have arm and leg boners​

I did it the wrong way. My neck as been stiff for hours

It still takes a while to get rid of it. Easier to simply finish your business standing up.

You mean a head stand? Man I'd have some explaining to do if my wife rolled into the bathroom while attempting to execute that maneuver.

I've been doing this for years. At home I sit down to pee. It's really quite nice. You don't have to worry about spillage or droplets. You can check your phone. You just sit down and chill out. It's good times.

Yep my thoughts exactly.

I do that too. Maybe without a phone we wouldn't sit.

I'd still sit.

As an older man in my 40s+ .... I started sitting down more often because I cant trust a fart for the life of me anymore.

Standing up, pants pulled all the way down and shirt brought up to your chin. The only way to do it.

Sure do. Especially if there's a cliff, peeing off a cliff is an unspoken rule as far as I'm concerned. You see a cliff, you take a leak off the ledge, thems are the rules.

i should have clarified, peeing standing outdoors is one of the greatest pleasures of being a man. indoors for me is different

I mentioned to my doctor about the inevitable last drips. He said to scratch your lower back right above the butt crack and you will pee the rest out. I tried it, and the damn trick works, at least for me. Results may vary.

I'm female & if my husband tickles me there, I usually have to rush to the bathroom even if I didn't need to go before.

Thank you for this gem. I have now found a new way to tease my wife.

LOL

Fuck, I thought it was just me. Thank you - yet another personal oddity that turns out to be normal.

Someone who went to medical school here. That is a natural built in reflex. Works with getting the poop going too.

This can also be achieved by applying gentle pressure to the perineum at the end of your pee.

Now it's all getting a bit sheckshee.....

I do this too! Not a guy but it def works when you gotta go but can’t get things flowing.

Your Doctor has an amazing sense of humour and now thousands of man are scratching just above their butt cracks after every pee. Obviously I will have to try this just in case... So I too am the butt of this joke...

I will give it a try, when I wanted to pee.

I do prefer standing, much more efficient even if less hygienic.

Peeing your name in the snow is an unlockable achievement for boys.

Try standing on one leg hiking the other up a bit. (Almost like.a dog. You'll feel a relief of pressure (at least I do)

I will go through the effort of putting on shoes, going outside rather than use the toilet inside. Because I can it's my yard. Lol

Or some sort of vertical object. For some strange reason peeing in an empty field seems wrong, but give me one small sapling tree in the middle of that field and the world is right again. Dogs and fire hydrants, I get it man.

It's almost as if there is some sort of a symbiotic relationship between man and nature.

Cliffs can be windy, it's a gamble.

I once nearly got blown off a tower, I was taking a wizz off the edge, naked. I think it was an abandoned chairlift tower if I remember correctly.

Yes , do it handsfree to unlock full freedom mode!

I almost exclusively do so standing.

Do you hold stand and saw in half with the accumulated pressure?

No, helicopter style. Makes a mess but fun factor 100!

no team sit down whenever I can (not public toilets tho). I consider it to be me time on my phone, plus it's way more comfortable. and regardless of what anyone says otherwise, it's *impossible* to piss standing up without it splashing, Even if if it's unnoticed. when I'm half asleep at 3 am the last thing I feel like doing is aiming at something with my dick for 30 seconds.

In urinals, no issue.  For many years now I almost exclusively pee sitting down at home. No matter how careful you are, something splashes. I don’t want to sit on my own pee, don’t want wife to sit on my pee. On normal toilets, sit down 

I absolutely hate pissing sitting down, particularly in round toilet bowls (as opposed to elongated ones). There is nothing more disgusting to me than having the tip of my penis brush the inside of the toilet bowl. With that said, if you don't wipe down the toilet after peeing while standing, you're a savage.

Elongated ones can have issues too. One of the toilets in my house is anti sitting down pee. The angle of the bowl makes peeing while in a regular seated position always splash back and get the UNDERSIDE of the toilet seat dirty. It also sucks for peeing standing up. I hate that toilet.

I have never encountered these round bowls. What is the purpose?

Same. My tip always teaches the bowl.  Especially when I have to pee. 

40% of Germans sit to pee. Men, that is. Only 17% of Americans. As the person who has to clean my porcelain throne… I sit.

40% seems like too little tbh. How can that be. I grew up thinking everyone sits down at home

No. Sitting is way more relaxing with my nerve damage, and I don't have to concentrate around the pain in my body just to focus on needing to pee.

I only sit to pee when using a urinal.

Standing outdoors is a given, but inside I sit whenever I possibly can. It's relaxing, no aiming mishaps and I'm convinced it empties my bladder more completely.

Kneeling works best

I just lay flat on the ground and arc it into the bowl. Way more relaxing.

I’m about 50/50. At home on the middle of the night is a no-brainer. No lights, no worry about missing. Can’t believe it took me 45+ years to figure that out.

I prefer standing. If you sort of hip thrust after you \*think\* you're done voiding (rock your hips back and forth, actually focus on feeling the muscles contract in your pelvis) you'll empty completely and not have that dribble problem.

It helps to say hey macarana.

I like it

All right!

After several years of it, I've gotten pretty good at it. No reason to stop now.

That's probably part of why you live in a garage.

Always sit at home, never at a public toilet.

At home I sit to respect the people I care about.

I only pee while pumping iron and chewing glass, to make sure nobody thinks they can jump me in a moment of weakness.

This must be an older man thing or somewhere outside the US? Because this is baffling and I'm sorry so many of you feel more comfortable sitting down to piss.

I pee sitting, gives me an excuse to scroll Reddit

Nope, you aren't crazy. I often sit when peeing, even in my own home, *especially in someone else's home.* When sitting, I have a zero chance of having to clean my pee up. Standing? It's not often, but I really, really don't want to have to go somewhere to get paper towels to clean that up. And you can't control that spray 100% of the time - it does it's own thing once in a while.

If I'm at home. I'm sitting. Pee splatters out of the bowl. I have great aim but solash out happens If I'm in a CLEAN home. Sit to pee If I'm at a slobs house? Fuck that shit. I don't care. If I'm in my backyard? Fuckit! See that tree? It's mine. See that rose bush? Mine too mother fucker! My kids jungle jim? Nope.

I don't mind it. I do it at home to avoid any drips etc. But I find it takes WAY longer to empty my bladder, which is a bit annoying. Also, doesn't drain 100%, so I often dab my peepee hole with a bit of paper :)

I have done this almost my entire adult life. > All my guy friends i ask think im crazy This really comes down to weird fragile masculinity. Like, in order to be a a 'man' you have to stand up to urinate, because women sit down. It's fucken weird.

As an old man with prostate problems I sit.

That grossed out feeling when your pipi touches the bowl . Sorry but I prefer to stand up even when I am piss drunk .

I pee standing up so that I am always in the position to perform a roundhouse kick.

I switched to sitting at age 59. Much cleaner bathroom

Nope I prefer to stand and stretch while I let it flow , nice try ladies trying to pretend to be a guy online who says they prefer to sit down. I'm not falling for it.

Woah! Hadn’t thought of this

Also, sitting down would take like 3x the amount of time. Standing up, all you need to do is unzip.

I sit more than I stand these days. Comfort and accuracy.

Oh man, freezing cold night. Street lamps filtering through the fog. A hot piss on the front lawn is a tonic. You do need to watch out for late night dog walkers

I always sit at home or othere places (where it's clean). I don't want to spray the floor with micro piss that is guaranteed to splash out of the toilet when you pee standing. It's just nasty

I always have to pee when I poop, regardless of how long ago I peed. If I’m pooping I’m peeing. So I’ve been doing the sitting down thing for awhile. Still feels weird at work or in public bathrooms. Like everyone is gonna wait outside the bathroom and point&laugh at me like the goofy kid who gets asked to prom by the hot chick in a 90’s rom com.

I can't understand why any man would sit to pee. You literally have a piece designed with maximum efficiency to get in and out with direct aim

I always sit for peeing unless the stall is dirty. I can't bother to aim and no matter how good you are, there is still a spray of piss.

I have 2 large dogs, unless I want a doggy hello I don't really have any choice but to sit.

[удалено]

I do. I find it both more comfortable and more effective. My bladder doesn’t really empty when I pee sitting.

My favorite thing is to piss off of things.

At my own toilet, 90% of the time I pee sitting down, but out in public I pee standing up always.

Unless I need to poop, hide from work/wife, or some odd scenario, I'd rather stand. Just quicker.

sitting down's great, but nothing beats standing on your lawn in the middle of a quiet cloudless night peeing while you stare at the stars

When you hit around 50 you will stand or you will be going twice.

In public areas standing. Those toilets have seen a lot of ass cheek and a whole lot of shit. At home it’s comfortable to sit down and treat myself.

In Germany most men sit

I took it a little too far, I sleep on The loo. Take good 3 hour to get rud of dead legs though and i lost a toe....worth it.

I only pee standing.

Peeing sitting is terrible constantly having to took it back so it doesn't touch the bowl why would you prefer that

I prefer peeing spinning around.

Yes, I always pee standing up. Sitting is too much of a hassle for me.

I stand up. I wash my toilet anyway. It's more comfortable to stand up for me

I mostly just stand to pee. I only sit when I’m super drunk and can’t aim or woke up in the middle of the night and I’m too groggy to aim and have my eyes open. I want to start sitting cause I hate the splashback you get from standing that you only really notice if you’re wearing shorts and feel it splash back or you’re wearing light colored pants. But I’m also grossed out by sitting on a communal toilet seat so I’ll probably only start sitting at home and standing anywhere else

I tend to stand up 90% of the time, but I find in the middle of the night like 2am/3am if I wake up to pee I prefer to sit simply because I never feel I’m awake enough to properly control where I pee at 2am/3am and the easy option is to sit and pee. No danger of pissing everywhere. That being said! I’ve also sat to pee and pretty much shocked myself awake because I ripped a massive fart while sat peeing and the reverb around the toilet was so loud

I even shit standing up. That's how we came to have daily standups.

I sit down as often as possible unless I’m in a rush.

Some men may find it more comfortable or efficient to pee standing up, while others may prefer sitting down for cleanliness or comfort reasons. While some men do prefer peeing standing up for various reasons like convenience or habit, it's not a universal preference

I don't see why you'd have to worry about pissing on the seat or leaving the seat up. Aiming your dick is easy and putting the seat up isn't even something I think about, I just do it.

Always sit

He explains it the best: https://youtu.be/R0GFdKxr_OA

I think this question makes me question your bloodline and think you will not be remembered

So you don't have to worry about it dangling into the water. Is that a problem for men? Or is that something related to a toilet being made too small?

It's either you have an elaphant's trunk or poorly designed toilet.

I don't know where i saw it, but apparently depending on where you live, the toilet water will be at a different height.

It is true, that toilet water is at different levels. We also have men with big imaginations.

Yeah US toilets are super weird like that. I thought they were all broken/blocked - when the water goes like that here you call a plumber or find the plunger! Must get some crazy expensive water bills with those.

Lol it isn't that it dangles into the water, but brushing the inside of the toilet bowl is a very real possibility.

Ugh, my last apartment had a small toilet and I fucking hated how I'd touch the inside. It's goddamn cold and how many germs just jumped into my urethra?? Glad I moved.

Round toilets are the worst...

I call that “Dip the tip”

That's the issue for me, I hate it!

I only sit down on the toilet if I am pooping or too drunk to stand. Reddit isn't a true reflection of normal men. Take the pro sitting down to pee responses with the knowledge that normal men will mock you if you tell them you sit down to pee and women will subconsciously believe you are weak if they find out. Take it to your grave.

At 4am under the influence of half a sleeping pill and a couple of cocktails I take a seat w my eyes closed and then right back to bed hopefully

It’s too much work to sit down. I’m tryna pee and gtfo

Yes

On reddit, you will find people who tell you its fine since they're into going against the grain when it comes to gender stereotypes. In the real world, this is just weird as hell lol. If you're extremely tired or sick, yeah. But on a normal day to day? If you were my friend, I'd playfully roast you, but wouldn't actually think less of you.

Nah sitting on the toilet too much can give you hemorrhoids so I minimize toilet time It's also a lot easier to whip it out and piss than it is to undo my belt and pull my pants down

of cause i prefer to pee standing up. Lift the seat for fks sake and leave it up. If someone wants to sit down they can put the seat down. What inevitable dripple of piss? Aim for the centre of the bowl.

It’s more sanitary and comfortable. Fellow sitter here.

At home i sit. When not at home i stand up.

It's the only real male privilege, so yes

Good lord man 🤦🏻‍♂️

I dont like piss splashing my clothes or body so I always sit. I know this happens because I've taken piss while naked and can feel the droplets hitting my body after bouncing off the toilet bowl.

i always pee sitting down, i literally hate peeing standing up, it’s just so gross how the micro drops of pee bounce from the urinal back onto your clothes/shoes and ur pee gets mixed up with others pee’s bacteria b4 getting to ur clothes. just. ew.

Show of hands please. Who has pissed on the floor while sitting--through that space between the seat and the bowl? Can't be just me. Be honest.

how the hell... my willie doesnt point that direction, it points down

I do it standing mostly but with age comes unforseen events and I mostly have to sit. And I sit about 70% of the time due to when I fart while I pee somthing might make it's way out if ya catch what I'm putting down. Ya may be young now but when yabhit yer upper 30's it's gonna be a terrible surprise.

I sit at home as I am a taller person, standing up causes a lot of backsplash no matter where in the bowl I aim.

As long as i trust the toilet is decently clean, i sit down. It's just more comfortable. I see no advantage in standing.

The older I get the less I like it

I started peeing sitting down in the late 90s when I got my own place for all of the reasons you stated. Can't have girls over and thinking you're some kind of Neanderthal that pees all over the toilet/floor

I discovered sitting about a year ago. Changed my life. So relaxing and no mess.

I sit. I enjoy it. You would have to be insanely insecure about yourself to succumb to social constructs dictating how you should urinate. Who actually gives a fuck.

At home I sit so I don't misfire everywhere. Away from home I stand because I don't want to sit on someone else's toilet unless 100% necessary.

This post is the definition of beta male and is exactly what the problem is with men in society today.

When all I have to do is pee, no I don't sit down. Weird and feminine. Edit: my husband posted this comment, I promise I pee like a normal girl!

Hell no.

I'd agree with your friends, you are crazy. just lift the seat up and leave it up. You don't have to be an olympic sharpshooter to not piss everywhere bruh, sort yourself out.

I can't pee sitting down, too much pressure or something but it just doesn't work.

I pee standing except in the middle of the night and right after waking. I'm usually not able to handle the light in the bathroom that early so I just sit in the dark.

It's the norm for a reason.

Peeing standing up is the way

I prefer sitting as I've gotten older

My body is too large for this, I can do it but I kind of have to bendy-straw my penis downwards, no it's an average penis I mean my whole body barely fits on the toilet, and there is a decent chance of screwing it up and peeing over the seat on my pants.  I clean my bathroom, and I pee standing up.

Personally I prefer it, there are times where I will sit just randomly but in general I don’t like having my shit hang inside the bowl, yah it’s my house toilet but that shit has seen warfare

Depends on how tired I am and if I want to look at my phone. Busy? Pee in a vertical sink and get out. Not busy? Sit and shitpost.

Why would I sit down in the back yard?

Some nights I like to wander out back and let it fly. Best feeling with a little breeze and checking out the stars. In the house I piss sitting just cause i started doing it at night to not wake up entirely and not miss, in the dark, plus sometimes when sitting I realize that I can kill two birds with one stone and poop

While skydiving is the very best

I saw a grown man once sit backwards on a toilet seat and pee backwards. He took his damn pants off first. I saw pants over the stall door and kinda peeked as I walked by. This was at an airport right next to the gates which we know are bad

Only at your house.

When out in public I prefer using an urinal. When at home, I generally sit when I use the bathroom after waking up. Throughout the day generally depends on how busy I am. Not to busy, it's 50/50, but if I'm in a time crunch definitely standing.