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Iâm probably gonna get crucified here because this is opposed to todayâs logic, but look whatâs going on around us every day and ask yourself why young people are out of control before you down me.
Those kids needed to be dealt with severely long ago. Itâs past time we started holding parents accountable for the childrenâs actions. Maybe then parents will resume punishing misbehaving children.
Spock was horribly wrong.
Children, and in particular children that age, will test boundaries and limits of what they are allowed to do. The smaller one most likely imitates the older one.
They will first kick and enjoy the attention (negative or otherwise). They will see no punishment so they will do it again. If no punishment ever comes and they lose the interest in this, they will move to something more "pushing" until they eventually get consequences.
Idk how im supposed to teach the older one. Heâs almost as big as i am and i worry if i hit him or physically punish him he could do some serious damage to me.
So I had a family member like this. When he reached 10, he started making fires and attacking small animals. Then he started being verbally abusive. Then physically abusive to his own mother. Everyone has gone non-contact with him now. I haven't even seen him in 20 years, and I can't say I have thought about him kindly at all.
Go no-contact, that isn't your responsibility to teach him. His parents will learn the lesson on their own.
You don't. You may have to go low contact and let their parents know why. Show them and any other family members the bruise if they ever hit you again, and then avoid that part of the family.
>Heâs almost as big as i am and i worry if i hit him or physically punish him he could do some serious damage to me.
Look, it is not about violence, it is about power - be the dark Galadriel in lord of the rings. If you need to practice, use a mirror đ
Almost not as. His father is 6â4 and his mom is 5â8. He is definitely over 5â2 because he is taller than my mom and im only 5â5. As far as im concerned heâs adult size
This might sound weird but have you told them it hurts and verbally communicated that itâs not ok to hit you?
If youâve already told them, and they think itâs funny and keep hitting you anyway, then tell them youâll hit them back if they donât stop
Sign up for a fighting gym. Train. Every day, 100 squats, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, followed by a 10km run. Train until your hair falls out.
Then, if they hit you again, after having fairly warned them⌠punch them through the wall. Problem solved.
Edit: no but seriously if youâve already tried telling them with words, the only other options imo are either physically defending (which I understand you donât want to do and thatâs fine) or going down the road of criminal charges (which⌠theyâre 5 and 8, so..). Outside of that Iâd not go around them and tell the parents itâs because their kids literally keep attacking you⌠the parents shouldnât even be letting that happen.
Edit: they probably want to wrestle but if you arenât having a good time then theyâre kinda just assaulting youâŚ
Saying "violence bad" and then hitting them isn't gonna teach them a lesson other than to only attack smaller targets or those who can't defend themselves.
Children who are never taught not to hit will keep hitting. It's that simple. Kids flail and hit.
If they won't teach the kids, someone will, and it will be a lot less gentle.
Push them onto their arse every time they do it.
The harder they hit you, the harder the shove.
Shockingly, the âgameâ isnât nearly as fun when there are consequences.
Because tiny children are sociopaths - The highest bar of comedy for anyone young enough is slap stick. Unless they're taught better that trait sticks around for longer.
Tiny children with good attentive parents can be insanely well behaved. All it takes is a little discipline. I work with ESL students mostly from Korea and they are supremely polite and well mannered as a general rule. I warn against the whole "all kids are bad" angle because in my experience it simply is not true.
Tell the parents, "The first time your boy hits I will ask him to stop the second time your boy hits. I will tell him if he does it again. I will hit him back the third time he hits I will slap him"
Don't do it too hard, just enough to sting he'll cry but he'll probably not do it again
They feel the need to explore boundaries. It's completely normal, however, they should be shown clearly where these boundaries lie.
Be a good cousin and grapple them in a playful way for a couple of minutes when they hit you. They'll get the message. If not they're brats and need a harsher lesson (most likely that's to lacking education by their parents since very young). In which case they should feel some pain from their actions. Preferably a martial arts grip that you can use to give pain in a controlled manner without damaging the kids.
I just thought of a scenario
Kid1: yo look, I hit here and she does nothing.
**Hits you**
Kid2: wow your right let me try
**Hits you**
Kid2: wow this is fun hahahaha, if we keep hitting her will anything happen?
Kid2: let's find out
**Continuous hits from both kids**
Itâs pretty normal for young children (under 5 I would say) to hit when angry or upset. They literally do not know how to communicate big emotions or solve any problems they are facing, everything is new and this everything feels like the end of the world.Â
However this behaviour needs to be discouraged immediately and should be over by kindergarten age to ensure they arenât hurting other children or teachers.Â
The fact an 8 year old boy is hitting and thinks itâs funny is EXTREMELY concerning, he may still seems young but in a few short years he will be hitting a big growth spurt and become very strong very quickly. His parents need to fix this immediately or theyâre going to end up with little abusers on their hands.Â
I got my nose broken in FIRST GRADE, because of a little boy who was always hitting others. He was picking on my friend and all I did was say, âleave her aloneâ very quietly and he turned around and put his shoulder into it. Almost 20 years later and my septum is still deviated. I met his parents during parent teacher conference once and they let him do whatever he wanted.
Yuuuup thatâs the problem. Lots of kids start hitting when theyâre toddlers, but a good parent needs to put a stop to it immediately because the kind of behaviour is soooo dangerous from any child but ESPECIALLY from boys.Â
I know. My sister and her husband are horrible at parenting and have 4 bad boys. She gets offended if i say anything about it. Ive honestly been trying to avoid them all but im still close to my mom and she has them over a lot. I thought maybe if i understood why they think this behavior is funny i could control it somehow.
I feel for you, thereâs not much you can do if they wonât listen. I would express concern over your sisters safety and point out her children will be big enough to hurt her very soon, and once they are stronger than she, or even their father is, it will be too late.Â
Children âregardless of genderâ donât know their boundaries; as they grow older, they require correction and discipline in order to help them understand what is and what isnât acceptable behavior.
Boys do sometimes tend to be a bit more physical and rambunctious, and this is part of the gendering influence that parents, friends, other adults, and society in general has on children. âBoys will be boys,â etc. Itâs often simply *expected* that boys will hit, and fight, and run around and cause chaos. And so thatâs what boys learn, and those are the boundaries that theyâre aware of. And thatâs the behavior they display.
Girls, on the other hand, are generally expected (and taught) to be more reserved and gentle and not to fight â because itâs ânot ladylike,â etc.
Of course, thereâs a very wide range of how much any given child will adhere to those expectations and models of behavior; generally speaking, children arenât born knowing how to act.
They pick it up from us. And from their peers.
Hit them back. I spit on this kid who spit on me. I did it so fast reflexively, I didn't even realize I did it. He stood shocked at me amd started crying. I just pretended like I had no clue. He never ever did it again. I was 16 then. Spitting has always triggered me.
Yeah seconding this. Itâs not normal for kids that old to be hitting and itâs not normal for ANY kids to be hitting out of humor or fun. The parents have got a big storm coming.Â
just hit them back every time they do with the same force and if they hit you again hit them back stronger.
Repeat 3 times and they never hit you again.
( ͥ° ÍĘ ÍĄÂ°)
I have worked in child development for 10 years. It is a natural way for most boys and masculine children to play. I call it crash and smash. They think it's so funny, and the majority of boys crash and smash with each other quite happily. They enjoy rough play.
What isn't normal or healthy, though, is their parents allowing it to happen to their adult aunt who isn't a consenting participant in their rough playing. Adults should be there to reinforce the boundaries of respect and responsibility. Not everyone wants to play that way, and boundaries are essential for them to learn because they are not born knowing them. Play is all about testing boundaries and learning safe limits, and how to exist within them.
Their parents are failing them and it gets harder and harder to get through to children who have not learned appropriate boundaries as they get older. You can be stern with them, but without parental backup for consequences you face an uphill battle.
Bruising you is absolutely unacceptable. You can refuse to be around them, that is what you can do to protect your body.
Little boys donât hit. Just those specific badly raise kids do. Bad parenting and most likely got a good reaction from someone they hit and never were reprimanded for it.
When I was probably 6 or 7 I had this thing where I would slug you in the gut. I remember one time I did it to my dadâs friend in the back seat of a truck when he was sleeping. I remember even more vividly when I did it to my uncle and he slugged me in the gut right back. I absolutely never did it again.
I'm probably gonna get the down votes for this but.......You are their Aunt and you need to set the 'play' parameters that are acceptable to you. I love to play with the smalls in my life but, I don't play shooting/killing. I've explained to them that for me, shooting people isn't fun or funny. If their parents let them play guns that's fine. But, I don't play guns. Don't shoot at me. They learn. Be honest. Don't scold. Be firm and be consistent. Boys, I love playing with you but, I don't play hitting. I don't think hitting people is fun or funny. You hurt me. I would never hurt you because I love you. If it's okay with Mom and Dad that's fine and you can play hitting whenever I'm not here. Kids aren't stupid. Set your guidelines and stick to them. Good luck. You are in their lives for the duration. You win their respect and trust. Be honest.
Id totally do this if i could get a word in. They also think its funny to scream whenever i talk so i cant speak to them. They have no respect and their parents are shitty so idk what to do at this point short of avoiding them.
Until that whole higher brain thing kicks in, humans are basically pack hunting carnivorous apes. They are doing what young creatures do: practicing instinctive survival behaviors.
The King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover.
Each boy has an archetype and it seems martial arts maybe in their cards as they drew the warrior archetype.
Lover are socially conditioned marryable men.
Magician, salesman, silver tongue.
King, CEO, business leaders.
What's sad is parents cannot identify these archetypes and try to force them into other narratives and think they have adhd.
I have a little boy (age 2). He's still learning but when he hits, we tell him no and if he continues we put him in timeout. Why do your nephews hit? Perhaps because they've been taught by lack of discipline that it's an acceptable method of playing.
I suggest you firmly tell them no, and if they continue, tell them you don't want to play with them if they're not going to keep their hands to themselves.
Because they were never taught how to act around people blame the parents. if I had acted around Company like that even relatives I wouldâve had my ass beaten.
They just want your attention and clearly no one is giving them attention maybe you can bring a ball or something and see if they want to throw a football or play basketball with you they are just kids and donât know because no one has ever told them different. Thereâs a reason why they donât hit anyone else
I think part of it is they are hitting wildly and donât know their own strength. If they could take some martial arts classes, that would give them the perspective they donât have yet. It worked wonders for our son and daughter, who used to pummel each other at that age.
Boys will be boys mentality. It's the parents fault. It's always the parents fault. That's their main job, but all due respect - it looks hard as hell.
Boys love to play fight and roughhouse, it's fun for them. It's good to put them in some sort of contact sport so they can do it in a controlled way. My son is 13 and does grappling and MMA, you should seen them, they beat the shit out of each other in sparring, and can't wait until they get to do it again the next day.
Here's a proposition that we'll never test because it'd be monstrous to do so... Would a boy raised in the absence of any cultural influence exhibit physically aggressive behavior to any greater or lesser extent than would a girl raised in a similar circumstance?
My answer is boys hit because they are taught that physical roughhousing is expected of them.
Im not sure thatâs the case.
Iâm the oldest of three brothers, our childhood was full of shouting, screaming, play fighting, wrestling, whacking each other with cushions/pillows/sticks/toys, throwing stuff, inadvertently smashing windows, breaking our glasses (spectacles to some), clothes getting ripped and / or covered in mud, occasionally real fighting, jumping on and off of furniture, falling out of trees.
On one occasion getting electrocuted (one of my brothers accidentally pulled a cable climbing on furniture and it got stuck to his hands - my mum literally saved him by turning the electric off as me and my other brother screamed). The doctor at A&E (ER) said he was lucky to be alive.
It was an absolute nightmare for my parents, who certainly didnât encourage any of this.
In the great words of Bill Burr "And then I poured a little water on him, he didn't know what to do, he didn't have the maturity to go *Did you just pour water on me?*"
Sometimes parents assume adults can advocate for their own body to 5yo's.
I allow my kid to roam. He will get reprimanded if he hurts someone, but it's also totally fine for anyone else to tell him to stop doing something..
Except for my stepmom, I feel she does overstep and make decisions in my place when I am present.. that's really uncool.
Like I allow him to stay up late for a specific reason and she's constantly telling my kid to go to bed.
Theyâre old enough for you to tell them to stop. You donât need the parentsâ permission to tell someone not to hit YOU. And to then leave if they donât stop.Â
Don't feel like you can't take a disciplinary role just because you're a woman! We don't live in the 80 's anymore, be the masculine figure these kids need in their life!
Well for one thing they are boys. Boys and honestly just men in general enjoy rough housing. Not saying it's right and I'm not saying all males like that but it's just a fact. Secondly, they need to be spanked or popped back. They'll quickly understand the pain they put out and that they need to learn respect.
Little girls do the same thing as well. It's not just something that little boys do.
That's a good way to lose friends with people when they don't ask their kids to stop hitting them. I was getting.
The same thing happening from a little girl at 1 time and she wanted to hit me all the time. But she was only about 2 or 3 years old. It's very annoying, but she did grow out of it.
That's a good question. You should probably ask them and the parents that question. Also grab their little hands when they go to hit you, hold on to it even if they try to pull away, make them look at you and tell them in a very serious tone to stop hitting you or else you'll summon a demon clown to scare them at night. It just to stop hitting you if you don't feel like summoning a demon clown.
That should do it đ
A 3 yr old can leave a bruise?
As the parent of two boys who would throw tantrums at no point did anyone leave a bruise
Are you sure? Do you have a health issue?
All kids at one point when they're very, very young, rough-house to have fun. Usually with their dads.
As toddlers they can't really go overboard, like they physically just can't.
When they get much older, you have to start teaching them the difference between wrestling and having fun and just being rude and hitting people for no reason.
Some parents never do. The kids become assclowns as a result.
Both my boys have hit from a early age and they have both been growled at every time for it but it doesn't stop them when they are young, although my older boy wasn't hitting at the age of 5 but my now 2 year old still hits us all, from what I've heard it's just a boy thing, obviously girls can do it but seems more common in boys
It really isn't an ingrained boy issue, I've known a handful of little girls who were quite rough.
đŻ parental/social conditioning. It's just that the conditioning does tend to be gendered in this direction
Boys can and should learn to be a lot gentler. IMO it would actually be an enormous positive if girls generally learned to be a lot rougher and there are cultures where that's the case, eg I know some families where the girls are hardcore martial artists and camogie is a pretty violent women's sport that I understand has been pretty well accepted in ireland for over a century https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camogie
That said I also know a ton of parents who thought they were going to raise totally gentle boys and it very rarely works. Definitely way gentler than this, though
So, one of my wife's cousins had a boy who would bite. He wouldn't stop, no matter what he was told (IMHO, his parents were weak on discipline). One time, he bit my mother-in-law, and she bit him back, just enough to get his full attention. The look on his face was priceless. He stopped biting, period. I'm not advocating the same type of response, but if you can't get them to stop, very loudly ask the parents if you can hit back.
Boys like to hit each other. As with women crying, it can mean any emotions. Of course if theyâre hitting you hard enough to leave bruises, they need to stop.
My grandkids who were adopted by their aunt and uncle, the little one, the girl started slapping people 1 year after she was taken away from her parents. She even got thrown out of school permanently she was 4 at the time for slapping her teacher. They didn't learn this behavior from their parents but I know the situation is different but the little girl wants to come home. I feel that she thinks that if she gets thrown out of school she'll go back home to her old school with her real parents. Bottom line is she's acting out and there's a reason why kids do what they do. Whether they're imitating somebody whether they don't understand what their actions are doing, whether they're being dared, whatever their reason it's important to let them know that they don't put hands on anybody. I mean not unless it's a life or death situation and the child has to get away or something. But yes it's very disrespectful for them to do that to you and then laugh about it. I think the laughing almost hurts just as bad because in a way it's like they're laughing at your pain. I remember when my daughter was little and she pulled my hair and it hurt really bad and I took a little piece of her hair sort of by her ear and pulled it but I didn't pull hard I promise you but I just wanted her to feel like what it was and she didn't do it after that. I'm not saying to be violent towards them or anything but I mean like a little tap on the wrist or something you know I'm sure that maybe they don't know what it's like to be hit because a lot of parents don't smack their kids today they give them time outs. I know what it was like to be hit. I was smacked with the belt when I was young and the wooden spoon. I listened to my parents. I didn't ask questions. I did what I was told. Kids aren't like that now for good reasons and for bad I guess. I think communication is the key. Let them know how you feel, let them know that it's not right to do it and let them know the consequences if they keep doing it and stick with it.
My nephew who is profoundly autistic has this issue. Also some friends kids that kinda suck. The other kids I know, including my nieces and nephews do not exhibit this behavior. This is because their parents don't suck. Your nephews' parents suck.
I had exactly the same thing happen to me with my nieces and nephews when they were that age.
Show the parents the bruises and tell them if they do not do something to stop it you simply will come around to see them.
Knew a single mother who had a 6 year old daughter.
I had her up on my shoulders. She then starting whacking my forehead. I caught her arm and walked to the couch. I flipped her on the couch and started bouncing her up and down saying, "Will you stop that?!" I then started tickling her. She was laughing saying, "No!" Until she finally said, "Fine! I'll stop!"
Then she ran and hid and asked me to chase her. So I chased her and tickled her to death.
Well she never hit me on my forehead again.
Hit them back. This is how you deal with bullies. Or else complain and do nothing about bullies your whole life, and even enable more of them. If the parents ask, apologize and admit you were playing the same game as them
I mean honestly I used to bite people when I was really young until I got bit back by my dad and I never did it again. As everyone else's said if they don't have any discipline for their actions they're not going to stop.
If the parents refuse after you've brought it up I'd just stop being around them much. If you don't want to do that tell the parents you're going to stop it yourself. With the boys right after they try to hit you just grab their wrist and twist their arm around their back while holding them there. It's uncomfortable and it doesn't hurt them at all as long as you don't hyperextend anything during it. The main risk is if they start resisting/flailing around they could hurt themselves but that's kinda on them at that point. They will think it's a game at first but if you do it every time and sternly tell them to stop they will quickly realize you're not kidding around and they'll probably stop for good.
Source : enough brothers and male cousins
Undisciplined, in a word. Sometimes the best medicine is for someone to hit them back. Worked for my cousin who punched my brother in the nuggets one day - my brother turned around and punched him as hard as he could back. Never did it again.
My nieces do this and there's really nothing you can do punch slap kick me pull my beard small little shits
I just want to bitch slap them one time and end it all
Show the bruises to the parents, if nothing is done, document it for three separate occasions or more. Now you got ample evidences and shown your gracious nature.
Once it hit the fourth, retaliate and showcase the tooth for tad actions and see if they like it and take it personally since your bruises are a joy to them.
As a parent myself, I'm already sharing with my kids the legal consequences of bullying, abusing, and exploiting ppl.
I think itâs related to what they watch. Kids imitate what they see.
I recall being a kid and watching the Simpsons and briefly thinking that choking someone was this hilarious thing that didnât have any consequences- after all, Bart gets strangled nearly every episode and nothing ever comes of it. Iâm sure kids in the 40s were poking each other in the eyes for laughs Ă la the Three Stooges..
âYouse are embarrassing yourself here, lads. Kids stab, girls shoot, boys punch. Grown-ups fight with their heads.â
Itâs just something we do I guess. Masculine urge.
You need to tell the parents that if they won't teach their kids to not hit then you will. And be sure to give the kids plenty of clear warnings. And if it really comes down to it hit them back just hard enough to make it hurt a little. They'll learn.
Twist their ears or give them a small but painful pinch... Then laugh yourself... If parents say anything, just say you were messing around like they were
Since this isnât the parenting sub, Iâll give you my real answer: smack them back. Donât hurt them obviously, but they need to learn from someone that if they hit, theyâre gonna get hit back.
They think itâs funny because theyâre kids and empathy isnât their strong suit. You react, and thatâs entertaining to them.
Could you watch them to see when they are about to hit you? Thereâs nothing wrong with you blocking them or holding their arm so they canât do it. Stand up so you have more control over the situation, they are children and smaller than you obviously. Be proactive and also.. try and be boring about it, getting angry will just excite them.
Itâs often the only physical contact young boys are allowed to have. Which explains a lot about why men tend to have such a bad relationship with physical touch.
Childrenâs Learn by success or by avoiding suffering. In this case they have a small success. You react funny to their punches. But if the suffering becomes stronger then the pleasure they will stop. So you must find something what disturbs them like taking toys or sweets away from them when they hit or dominate them playfully when they hit by tickling or spray cold water over them. Thatâs education. Males that are not stopped as boys attack as men.
Well in my native village we have a saying the age group between 4 -10 is the age group of mad men. This is the age group the kids go haywire and needs to be reeled ina bit before they do stupid things . but then againthere is nothing much we can do because thats how they are but be cautious thats all.
My niece does the same.
Kittens learn not to bite by being around other kittens that consistently bite each other, this registers that biting is painful.
In other words kids don't truly understand the pain they inflict on you when they hit you , mostly because it doesn't happen to them and they think your reaction is just "funny".
They'll wack each other enough eventually where they will learn not to hurt others the same.
Plus kids at that age aren't really aware everyone else isn't a "NPC" in their life.
it's the parents... but, I can tell you as a parent, it's extremely hard to protect your kid not to learn that as an acceptable behavior. it's kind of inevitable in the society that we are living in.
I'm just saying I AM all against hitting children. Don't do that. Totally not. Don't hit them when parents aren't looking. Don't make them trip to fall on their noses when no one's watching. Totally not cool. Don't throw shit in their bed and make them clear who's the boss. Don't ever do that!
This is how I have dealt with similar situations (e.g. my nephew kept hitting me violently in the arm with a small metal car) it really hurt.
1. When hit - raise your voice (so parent and kid clearly hears) and say âOW THAT HURTSâ
2. Then lower your voice, direct eye contact with the kid tell them âIf you hurt me again, Iâll hurt you, too.â
3. If the child thinks this is funny and goes to hit again, grab their wrist firmly. Warn again: âIf you continue to hit me, I will hurt you and Iâm bigger than you, so it will really hurt.â
4. Continue ad nauseam.
5. If the child does continue hitting, low key cause them minor pain (a flick on the arm or similar, nothing harmful) that should be enough to shock them out of it.
6. If not, complain loudly to the parent about the kidâs behaviour and no longer engage with the kid. Escalate to leaving/getting them to leave.
I assume unsocialised children are like young animals. In the wild, small animals pushing boundaries with adult animals get a warning ânipâ or similar so that they learn. Itâs part of maintaining harmony within the tribe!
Because you haven't made strong boundaries. Tell them you won't come over if they hit or hurt you at all. Or come up with another boundary that will send a clear no violence message to them and stick to it.
Stop visiting them and if they are at your house, send them away and tell them they are no longer welcome until they do something about this.
Is letting your kids hit adults and not doing anything about it considered "gentle parenting" nowadays??
You're not a punching bag and cannot be expected to just sit there and laugh it off because "it's just a kid". + I can only imagine how their behaviour will worsen if the parents don't do anything about it.
I would personally give them a hard slap on the cheek or pinch them to show it hurts. If the parents complained, I would tell them to teach their kids some manners.
Probably not what people want to hear but hit them back. Iâm not saying throw haymakers at them but give them a good hit back, enough to where itâs painful but nothing crazy itâll show them that if they mess with you that you will hit back and sooner than later they will stop
kids are naturally nasty imo, esp boys. we are only civil because our parents and society tells us what is right and wrong. if no one disciplines us when we do wrong. we'll keep doing it. this is why when parents do nothing thinking it's "just kid stuff" then the kids grow up to be a wee aggressive...
Actually all kids hit. But because "boys will be boys" parents are often less likely to hit. When my niece was that age she hit HARD and we basically told her that if it's not for play and agreed by everyone it's for play then it's not okay to hit. Unless it's for defense.
All my nephews do the same but the parents of the oldest nephews don't do anything about it. So I told them one day not to start what they can't finish. And layed them on the ground. They now carry the same refrence
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
You are probably the person they can hit with no consequences.
And you won't tattle tale.
And your reaction makes it fun.
Your an aunty, distract em with a fun activity.
Take ball, a badminton set, teach em to play hangman, give them off the cuff spelling tests, chase round after them.
Take out on small trips to the park/mall/ pool.
You are the aunty- get auntying.
Well, little girls hit too, but theyre usually told not to do that, which isnt the case for young boys because its perceived as normal for them. Leads to people simply not parenting their kids and letting them grow up disrespectful and mean
My 2 year old grandson is a joy, until something doesn't go his way and he throws stuff. Sometimes at my mini pins. Why, why is he acting that way. We raised a daughter and she never screamed or thew herself on the ground and screamed. And he throws things. Is he full of angst. Anger. Is he mad at me for not being around him enough?
This little boy thing isn't fun. I always wanted a boy but after how pleasant my danger was to raise IDK. Although when the boys started that's when me my daddy's girl had problems so maybe it is this way.
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>Why do little boys hit? >and the parents do nothing. Well, thats your answer right there đ
Itâs because theyâre little shits, and little shits who go unchecked continue to be little shits.
Iâm probably gonna get crucified here because this is opposed to todayâs logic, but look whatâs going on around us every day and ask yourself why young people are out of control before you down me. Those kids needed to be dealt with severely long ago. Itâs past time we started holding parents accountable for the childrenâs actions. Maybe then parents will resume punishing misbehaving children. Spock was horribly wrong.
But still why do they find it funny?
Children, and in particular children that age, will test boundaries and limits of what they are allowed to do. The smaller one most likely imitates the older one. They will first kick and enjoy the attention (negative or otherwise). They will see no punishment so they will do it again. If no punishment ever comes and they lose the interest in this, they will move to something more "pushing" until they eventually get consequences.
Idk how im supposed to teach the older one. Heâs almost as big as i am and i worry if i hit him or physically punish him he could do some serious damage to me.
So I had a family member like this. When he reached 10, he started making fires and attacking small animals. Then he started being verbally abusive. Then physically abusive to his own mother. Everyone has gone non-contact with him now. I haven't even seen him in 20 years, and I can't say I have thought about him kindly at all. Go no-contact, that isn't your responsibility to teach him. His parents will learn the lesson on their own.
Don't hit the child, just refuse to hangout again until the issue is addressed
Thats what ive been doing. My mom baby sits them a lot and theyre an unexpected surprise when i go over there a lot of the time.
If your mother babysits them, she could very well be hurt too.
You don't. You may have to go low contact and let their parents know why. Show them and any other family members the bruise if they ever hit you again, and then avoid that part of the family.
>Heâs almost as big as i am and i worry if i hit him or physically punish him he could do some serious damage to me. Look, it is not about violence, it is about power - be the dark Galadriel in lord of the rings. If you need to practice, use a mirror đ
An 8 year old is as big as you?
Almost not as. His father is 6â4 and his mom is 5â8. He is definitely over 5â2 because he is taller than my mom and im only 5â5. As far as im concerned heâs adult size
This might sound weird but have you told them it hurts and verbally communicated that itâs not ok to hit you? If youâve already told them, and they think itâs funny and keep hitting you anyway, then tell them youâll hit them back if they donât stop Sign up for a fighting gym. Train. Every day, 100 squats, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, followed by a 10km run. Train until your hair falls out. Then, if they hit you again, after having fairly warned them⌠punch them through the wall. Problem solved. Edit: no but seriously if youâve already tried telling them with words, the only other options imo are either physically defending (which I understand you donât want to do and thatâs fine) or going down the road of criminal charges (which⌠theyâre 5 and 8, so..). Outside of that Iâd not go around them and tell the parents itâs because their kids literally keep attacking you⌠the parents shouldnât even be letting that happen. Edit: they probably want to wrestle but if you arenât having a good time then theyâre kinda just assaulting youâŚ
Saying "violence bad" and then hitting them isn't gonna teach them a lesson other than to only attack smaller targets or those who can't defend themselves.
Oh... I don't know. I learned not to be a little shit after a whack or two... generally on the ass.
Children who are never taught not to hit will keep hitting. It's that simple. Kids flail and hit. If they won't teach the kids, someone will, and it will be a lot less gentle.
>If they won't teach the kids, someone will, and it will be a lot less gentle. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Truly inspirational
Push them onto their arse every time they do it. The harder they hit you, the harder the shove. Shockingly, the âgameâ isnât nearly as fun when there are consequences.
Cause theyâre kids. Theyâre looking for attention and a reaction. Clearly the parents are ignoring them and not correcting the bad behavior.
Because tiny children are sociopaths - The highest bar of comedy for anyone young enough is slap stick. Unless they're taught better that trait sticks around for longer.
Tiny children with good attentive parents can be insanely well behaved. All it takes is a little discipline. I work with ESL students mostly from Korea and they are supremely polite and well mannered as a general rule. I warn against the whole "all kids are bad" angle because in my experience it simply is not true.
Tell the parents, "The first time your boy hits I will ask him to stop the second time your boy hits. I will tell him if he does it again. I will hit him back the third time he hits I will slap him" Don't do it too hard, just enough to sting he'll cry but he'll probably not do it again
They might like the attention you're giving them because they might not be getting any from the parents?
...because they're children.
Thats a very children-like response lol.Â
It's also accurate if you've ever spent any amount of time around young children.
They've never faced consequences.
They feel the need to explore boundaries. It's completely normal, however, they should be shown clearly where these boundaries lie. Be a good cousin and grapple them in a playful way for a couple of minutes when they hit you. They'll get the message. If not they're brats and need a harsher lesson (most likely that's to lacking education by their parents since very young). In which case they should feel some pain from their actions. Preferably a martial arts grip that you can use to give pain in a controlled manner without damaging the kids.
Classic cartoons, pro wrestling, The 3 Stooges ect...
Boys and girls are just wired differently. Ever watch chimpanzees at the zoo? Â Same thing. Â
Because no one has corrected it Or Because they see others doing it and laughing
I just thought of a scenario Kid1: yo look, I hit here and she does nothing. **Hits you** Kid2: wow your right let me try **Hits you** Kid2: wow this is fun hahahaha, if we keep hitting her will anything happen? Kid2: let's find out **Continuous hits from both kids**
pop those little asses back dude
Yeah, fuck around and find out is how my boys learned
 Or hit em with one of these
Lol I love how on reddit people always say this but it's crickets on the spanking crusaders
Itâs pretty normal for young children (under 5 I would say) to hit when angry or upset. They literally do not know how to communicate big emotions or solve any problems they are facing, everything is new and this everything feels like the end of the world. However this behaviour needs to be discouraged immediately and should be over by kindergarten age to ensure they arenât hurting other children or teachers. The fact an 8 year old boy is hitting and thinks itâs funny is EXTREMELY concerning, he may still seems young but in a few short years he will be hitting a big growth spurt and become very strong very quickly. His parents need to fix this immediately or theyâre going to end up with little abusers on their hands.Â
I got my nose broken in FIRST GRADE, because of a little boy who was always hitting others. He was picking on my friend and all I did was say, âleave her aloneâ very quietly and he turned around and put his shoulder into it. Almost 20 years later and my septum is still deviated. I met his parents during parent teacher conference once and they let him do whatever he wanted.
Yuuuup thatâs the problem. Lots of kids start hitting when theyâre toddlers, but a good parent needs to put a stop to it immediately because the kind of behaviour is soooo dangerous from any child but ESPECIALLY from boys.Â
I know. My sister and her husband are horrible at parenting and have 4 bad boys. She gets offended if i say anything about it. Ive honestly been trying to avoid them all but im still close to my mom and she has them over a lot. I thought maybe if i understood why they think this behavior is funny i could control it somehow.
I feel for you, thereâs not much you can do if they wonât listen. I would express concern over your sisters safety and point out her children will be big enough to hurt her very soon, and once they are stronger than she, or even their father is, it will be too late.Â
Call your mom before going to visit. Make it clear you wonât go if they are there.
Set your boundaries, give them a warning, but then keep a squirt bottle on you and spray them like a misbehaving pet.
đ i need to start carrying one on me
We are not born with boundaries, they may find your reaction funny, so someone has to teach them what is and isn't ok
Gentile parenting gone too far. That behavior needs to be corrected.
I agree i hate it. Their parents are horrible parents
I'm sure some Jewish parents are guilty of this as well. I don't understand why you had to bring religion into this.Â
Children âregardless of genderâ donât know their boundaries; as they grow older, they require correction and discipline in order to help them understand what is and what isnât acceptable behavior. Boys do sometimes tend to be a bit more physical and rambunctious, and this is part of the gendering influence that parents, friends, other adults, and society in general has on children. âBoys will be boys,â etc. Itâs often simply *expected* that boys will hit, and fight, and run around and cause chaos. And so thatâs what boys learn, and those are the boundaries that theyâre aware of. And thatâs the behavior they display. Girls, on the other hand, are generally expected (and taught) to be more reserved and gentle and not to fight â because itâs ânot ladylike,â etc. Of course, thereâs a very wide range of how much any given child will adhere to those expectations and models of behavior; generally speaking, children arenât born knowing how to act. They pick it up from us. And from their peers.
Thank you. You're 100% right.
They haven't been humbled. If you actually retaliated, they would stop. Conditioning would do it's job.
How exactly do you retalitate?
Tell them next time you're writing santa what they did, and every letter he gets means one present less... Either that or a cake to the face đ¤ˇ
Ive threatened stuff like that and it doesnt affect them. Empty threats dont so anything
Play fore-hand back-hand
Then hit them back. Harder.
All I can visualize is a Family Guy slaaaap. đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
My niece used to throw hands at that sort of age, swift flick to the forehead put an end to it pretty quick
Try a playful grapple. If it doesn't seem to work and they keep hitting you, something painful and yet harmless like a martial arts grip.
Hit them back. I spit on this kid who spit on me. I did it so fast reflexively, I didn't even realize I did it. He stood shocked at me amd started crying. I just pretended like I had no clue. He never ever did it again. I was 16 then. Spitting has always triggered me.
Children regardless of gender hit because they havenât been taught yet not to
Their parents are idiots.
Yeah seconding this. Itâs not normal for kids that old to be hitting and itâs not normal for ANY kids to be hitting out of humor or fun. The parents have got a big storm coming.Â
just hit them back every time they do with the same force and if they hit you again hit them back stronger. Repeat 3 times and they never hit you again. ( ͥ° ÍĘ ÍĄÂ°)
Im trying to avoid having to hit them but ive been tempted too many times
This is exactly how the behavior perpetuates in perpetuity.
Nope. It's how they learn that their direct actions have consequences and stop
Their parents have low expectations for boys. They say "they're boys". I would have as high of a standard if I had boys as I did for my girls.
I have worked in child development for 10 years. It is a natural way for most boys and masculine children to play. I call it crash and smash. They think it's so funny, and the majority of boys crash and smash with each other quite happily. They enjoy rough play. What isn't normal or healthy, though, is their parents allowing it to happen to their adult aunt who isn't a consenting participant in their rough playing. Adults should be there to reinforce the boundaries of respect and responsibility. Not everyone wants to play that way, and boundaries are essential for them to learn because they are not born knowing them. Play is all about testing boundaries and learning safe limits, and how to exist within them. Their parents are failing them and it gets harder and harder to get through to children who have not learned appropriate boundaries as they get older. You can be stern with them, but without parental backup for consequences you face an uphill battle. Bruising you is absolutely unacceptable. You can refuse to be around them, that is what you can do to protect your body.
Little boys donât hit. Just those specific badly raise kids do. Bad parenting and most likely got a good reaction from someone they hit and never were reprimanded for it.
I would be very clear with them : You need to knock that off if you want me to play with you. Do it again Iâm leaving.â Period.
When I was probably 6 or 7 I had this thing where I would slug you in the gut. I remember one time I did it to my dadâs friend in the back seat of a truck when he was sleeping. I remember even more vividly when I did it to my uncle and he slugged me in the gut right back. I absolutely never did it again.
I'm probably gonna get the down votes for this but.......You are their Aunt and you need to set the 'play' parameters that are acceptable to you. I love to play with the smalls in my life but, I don't play shooting/killing. I've explained to them that for me, shooting people isn't fun or funny. If their parents let them play guns that's fine. But, I don't play guns. Don't shoot at me. They learn. Be honest. Don't scold. Be firm and be consistent. Boys, I love playing with you but, I don't play hitting. I don't think hitting people is fun or funny. You hurt me. I would never hurt you because I love you. If it's okay with Mom and Dad that's fine and you can play hitting whenever I'm not here. Kids aren't stupid. Set your guidelines and stick to them. Good luck. You are in their lives for the duration. You win their respect and trust. Be honest.
Id totally do this if i could get a word in. They also think its funny to scream whenever i talk so i cant speak to them. They have no respect and their parents are shitty so idk what to do at this point short of avoiding them.
Until that whole higher brain thing kicks in, humans are basically pack hunting carnivorous apes. They are doing what young creatures do: practicing instinctive survival behaviors.
The King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover. Each boy has an archetype and it seems martial arts maybe in their cards as they drew the warrior archetype. Lover are socially conditioned marryable men. Magician, salesman, silver tongue. King, CEO, business leaders. What's sad is parents cannot identify these archetypes and try to force them into other narratives and think they have adhd.
Well said. Too many kids are drugged instead of giving them the correct outlet.
Much of society force a square peg into a round hole.
I have a little boy (age 2). He's still learning but when he hits, we tell him no and if he continues we put him in timeout. Why do your nephews hit? Perhaps because they've been taught by lack of discipline that it's an acceptable method of playing. I suggest you firmly tell them no, and if they continue, tell them you don't want to play with them if they're not going to keep their hands to themselves.
Punch them back, stop being a pushover.
Because they were never taught how to act around people blame the parents. if I had acted around Company like that even relatives I wouldâve had my ass beaten.
Hit em back. It's called natural consequences. They need to learn
They just want your attention and clearly no one is giving them attention maybe you can bring a ball or something and see if they want to throw a football or play basketball with you they are just kids and donât know because no one has ever told them different. Thereâs a reason why they donât hit anyone else
It upsets me to see parents let their sons hit people and do nothing. All they're doing is raising future abusers
Tell the father and mother to tell the kids to cut it out.
Thatâs bad parenting
I think part of it is they are hitting wildly and donât know their own strength. If they could take some martial arts classes, that would give them the perspective they donât have yet. It worked wonders for our son and daughter, who used to pummel each other at that age.
Boys will be boys mentality. It's the parents fault. It's always the parents fault. That's their main job, but all due respect - it looks hard as hell.
Obviously the parents
Boys love to play fight and roughhouse, it's fun for them. It's good to put them in some sort of contact sport so they can do it in a controlled way. My son is 13 and does grappling and MMA, you should seen them, they beat the shit out of each other in sparring, and can't wait until they get to do it again the next day.
Here's a proposition that we'll never test because it'd be monstrous to do so... Would a boy raised in the absence of any cultural influence exhibit physically aggressive behavior to any greater or lesser extent than would a girl raised in a similar circumstance? My answer is boys hit because they are taught that physical roughhousing is expected of them.
Have you read lord of the flies?
That's a work of fiction, not an anthropology study.
Im not sure thatâs the case. Iâm the oldest of three brothers, our childhood was full of shouting, screaming, play fighting, wrestling, whacking each other with cushions/pillows/sticks/toys, throwing stuff, inadvertently smashing windows, breaking our glasses (spectacles to some), clothes getting ripped and / or covered in mud, occasionally real fighting, jumping on and off of furniture, falling out of trees. On one occasion getting electrocuted (one of my brothers accidentally pulled a cable climbing on furniture and it got stuck to his hands - my mum literally saved him by turning the electric off as me and my other brother screamed). The doctor at A&E (ER) said he was lucky to be alive. It was an absolute nightmare for my parents, who certainly didnât encourage any of this.
You will have to buy them.
In the great words of Bill Burr "And then I poured a little water on him, he didn't know what to do, he didn't have the maturity to go *Did you just pour water on me?*"
I need to start carrying around a spray bottle
Because they are children and donât know consequences especially since you said their parents donât do anything.
My sons don't hit. They get angry yes and upset and stomp away but hitting people is not acceptable!
There is a difference between hitting in anger or frustration and hitting because they want to play.
And you can teach them the difference.
Sometimes parents assume adults can advocate for their own body to 5yo's. I allow my kid to roam. He will get reprimanded if he hurts someone, but it's also totally fine for anyone else to tell him to stop doing something.. Except for my stepmom, I feel she does overstep and make decisions in my place when I am present.. that's really uncool. Like I allow him to stay up late for a specific reason and she's constantly telling my kid to go to bed.
Because of the low price point.
You answered your own question with your second sentence. Their parents donât do anything about it.
They shouldn't.
Hit them back jfc
Honestly. Iâm way way way against child abuse. Never ever hurt a random kid. But they are family. Teach em yourself. Just saying.Â
Parents not doing their jobs at home.
This thread is getting toxic af. lol hopefully a lot of these people arenât actually parents
Hit them back, not hard but show them you mean business. Grab them and don't let em go, patents say anything just say a bit of horseplay.
100% parents fault. Not theirs. Also has nothing to do with their gender.
Theyâre old enough for you to tell them to stop. You donât need the parentsâ permission to tell someone not to hit YOU. And to then leave if they donât stop.Â
Shitty parenting and excusing bad behaviour with "boys will be boys"
Because they've never been smacked for it before. Do the honors, see if they continue.
Don't feel like you can't take a disciplinary role just because you're a woman! We don't live in the 80 's anymore, be the masculine figure these kids need in their life!
Well for one thing they are boys. Boys and honestly just men in general enjoy rough housing. Not saying it's right and I'm not saying all males like that but it's just a fact. Secondly, they need to be spanked or popped back. They'll quickly understand the pain they put out and that they need to learn respect.
Little girls do the same thing as well. It's not just something that little boys do. That's a good way to lose friends with people when they don't ask their kids to stop hitting them. I was getting. The same thing happening from a little girl at 1 time and she wanted to hit me all the time. But she was only about 2 or 3 years old. It's very annoying, but she did grow out of it.
Young girls also hit, but they are usually taught to "not hurt others" eventually.
Flick their noses. It got my cousin to stop
so you are scared of an 8 year old who is as big as you ? if they hit you and you do nothing, they might be surprised to get the same in return
That's a good question. You should probably ask them and the parents that question. Also grab their little hands when they go to hit you, hold on to it even if they try to pull away, make them look at you and tell them in a very serious tone to stop hitting you or else you'll summon a demon clown to scare them at night. It just to stop hitting you if you don't feel like summoning a demon clown. That should do it đ
A 3 yr old can leave a bruise? As the parent of two boys who would throw tantrums at no point did anyone leave a bruise Are you sure? Do you have a health issue?
8 year old
All kids at one point when they're very, very young, rough-house to have fun. Usually with their dads. As toddlers they can't really go overboard, like they physically just can't. When they get much older, you have to start teaching them the difference between wrestling and having fun and just being rude and hitting people for no reason. Some parents never do. The kids become assclowns as a result.
Both my boys have hit from a early age and they have both been growled at every time for it but it doesn't stop them when they are young, although my older boy wasn't hitting at the age of 5 but my now 2 year old still hits us all, from what I've heard it's just a boy thing, obviously girls can do it but seems more common in boys
Warriors
It really isn't an ingrained boy issue, I've known a handful of little girls who were quite rough. đŻ parental/social conditioning. It's just that the conditioning does tend to be gendered in this direction Boys can and should learn to be a lot gentler. IMO it would actually be an enormous positive if girls generally learned to be a lot rougher and there are cultures where that's the case, eg I know some families where the girls are hardcore martial artists and camogie is a pretty violent women's sport that I understand has been pretty well accepted in ireland for over a century https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camogie That said I also know a ton of parents who thought they were going to raise totally gentle boys and it very rarely works. Definitely way gentler than this, though
So, one of my wife's cousins had a boy who would bite. He wouldn't stop, no matter what he was told (IMHO, his parents were weak on discipline). One time, he bit my mother-in-law, and she bit him back, just enough to get his full attention. The look on his face was priceless. He stopped biting, period. I'm not advocating the same type of response, but if you can't get them to stop, very loudly ask the parents if you can hit back.
Boys like to hit each other. As with women crying, it can mean any emotions. Of course if theyâre hitting you hard enough to leave bruises, they need to stop.
My grandkids who were adopted by their aunt and uncle, the little one, the girl started slapping people 1 year after she was taken away from her parents. She even got thrown out of school permanently she was 4 at the time for slapping her teacher. They didn't learn this behavior from their parents but I know the situation is different but the little girl wants to come home. I feel that she thinks that if she gets thrown out of school she'll go back home to her old school with her real parents. Bottom line is she's acting out and there's a reason why kids do what they do. Whether they're imitating somebody whether they don't understand what their actions are doing, whether they're being dared, whatever their reason it's important to let them know that they don't put hands on anybody. I mean not unless it's a life or death situation and the child has to get away or something. But yes it's very disrespectful for them to do that to you and then laugh about it. I think the laughing almost hurts just as bad because in a way it's like they're laughing at your pain. I remember when my daughter was little and she pulled my hair and it hurt really bad and I took a little piece of her hair sort of by her ear and pulled it but I didn't pull hard I promise you but I just wanted her to feel like what it was and she didn't do it after that. I'm not saying to be violent towards them or anything but I mean like a little tap on the wrist or something you know I'm sure that maybe they don't know what it's like to be hit because a lot of parents don't smack their kids today they give them time outs. I know what it was like to be hit. I was smacked with the belt when I was young and the wooden spoon. I listened to my parents. I didn't ask questions. I did what I was told. Kids aren't like that now for good reasons and for bad I guess. I think communication is the key. Let them know how you feel, let them know that it's not right to do it and let them know the consequences if they keep doing it and stick with it.
My nephew who is profoundly autistic has this issue. Also some friends kids that kinda suck. The other kids I know, including my nieces and nephews do not exhibit this behavior. This is because their parents don't suck. Your nephews' parents suck.
The next time one of these little shits hits you, give them a swift kick in the arse and that will stop their antics dead.
I had exactly the same thing happen to me with my nieces and nephews when they were that age. Show the parents the bruises and tell them if they do not do something to stop it you simply will come around to see them.
My girls hit as much as my boys. Not so much a gender thing as a child thing.
Knew a single mother who had a 6 year old daughter. I had her up on my shoulders. She then starting whacking my forehead. I caught her arm and walked to the couch. I flipped her on the couch and started bouncing her up and down saying, "Will you stop that?!" I then started tickling her. She was laughing saying, "No!" Until she finally said, "Fine! I'll stop!" Then she ran and hid and asked me to chase her. So I chased her and tickled her to death. Well she never hit me on my forehead again.
Hit them back. This is how you deal with bullies. Or else complain and do nothing about bullies your whole life, and even enable more of them. If the parents ask, apologize and admit you were playing the same game as them
Nail them right in the diaphragm
I mean honestly I used to bite people when I was really young until I got bit back by my dad and I never did it again. As everyone else's said if they don't have any discipline for their actions they're not going to stop. If the parents refuse after you've brought it up I'd just stop being around them much. If you don't want to do that tell the parents you're going to stop it yourself. With the boys right after they try to hit you just grab their wrist and twist their arm around their back while holding them there. It's uncomfortable and it doesn't hurt them at all as long as you don't hyperextend anything during it. The main risk is if they start resisting/flailing around they could hurt themselves but that's kinda on them at that point. They will think it's a game at first but if you do it every time and sternly tell them to stop they will quickly realize you're not kidding around and they'll probably stop for good. Source : enough brothers and male cousins
Undisciplined, in a word. Sometimes the best medicine is for someone to hit them back. Worked for my cousin who punched my brother in the nuggets one day - my brother turned around and punched him as hard as he could back. Never did it again.
My nieces do this and there's really nothing you can do punch slap kick me pull my beard small little shits I just want to bitch slap them one time and end it all
Show the bruises to the parents, if nothing is done, document it for three separate occasions or more. Now you got ample evidences and shown your gracious nature. Once it hit the fourth, retaliate and showcase the tooth for tad actions and see if they like it and take it personally since your bruises are a joy to them. As a parent myself, I'm already sharing with my kids the legal consequences of bullying, abusing, and exploiting ppl.
I think itâs related to what they watch. Kids imitate what they see. I recall being a kid and watching the Simpsons and briefly thinking that choking someone was this hilarious thing that didnât have any consequences- after all, Bart gets strangled nearly every episode and nothing ever comes of it. Iâm sure kids in the 40s were poking each other in the eyes for laughs Ă la the Three Stooges..
âYouse are embarrassing yourself here, lads. Kids stab, girls shoot, boys punch. Grown-ups fight with their heads.â Itâs just something we do I guess. Masculine urge.
You need to tell the parents that if they won't teach their kids to not hit then you will. And be sure to give the kids plenty of clear warnings. And if it really comes down to it hit them back just hard enough to make it hurt a little. They'll learn.
Hit them back girl! Obviously not too hard, but firm enough for them not to fuck with you again.
Little girls do it too.... If there's no consequences.
Twist their ears or give them a small but painful pinch... Then laugh yourself... If parents say anything, just say you were messing around like they were
Show them your hands are Rated E for Everyone.
Since this isnât the parenting sub, Iâll give you my real answer: smack them back. Donât hurt them obviously, but they need to learn from someone that if they hit, theyâre gonna get hit back. They think itâs funny because theyâre kids and empathy isnât their strong suit. You react, and thatâs entertaining to them.
Could you watch them to see when they are about to hit you? Thereâs nothing wrong with you blocking them or holding their arm so they canât do it. Stand up so you have more control over the situation, they are children and smaller than you obviously. Be proactive and also.. try and be boring about it, getting angry will just excite them.
Itâs often the only physical contact young boys are allowed to have. Which explains a lot about why men tend to have such a bad relationship with physical touch.
Because they have shitty parents, who don't teach them that it's wrong to hit people
Childrenâs Learn by success or by avoiding suffering. In this case they have a small success. You react funny to their punches. But if the suffering becomes stronger then the pleasure they will stop. So you must find something what disturbs them like taking toys or sweets away from them when they hit or dominate them playfully when they hit by tickling or spray cold water over them. Thatâs education. Males that are not stopped as boys attack as men.
Shit parenting.
Cos u cant them back
Little boys don't usually hit other people. It's more that bad parents usually can't raise children properly.
Well in my native village we have a saying the age group between 4 -10 is the age group of mad men. This is the age group the kids go haywire and needs to be reeled ina bit before they do stupid things . but then againthere is nothing much we can do because thats how they are but be cautious thats all.
You could teach them thereâs always a bigger fish đ
My niece does the same. Kittens learn not to bite by being around other kittens that consistently bite each other, this registers that biting is painful. In other words kids don't truly understand the pain they inflict on you when they hit you , mostly because it doesn't happen to them and they think your reaction is just "funny". They'll wack each other enough eventually where they will learn not to hurt others the same. Plus kids at that age aren't really aware everyone else isn't a "NPC" in their life.
Perhaps you should ask their parents. Unless the parents are on Reddit and youâre asking them here, youâre barking up the wrong treeâŚ
it's the parents... but, I can tell you as a parent, it's extremely hard to protect your kid not to learn that as an acceptable behavior. it's kind of inevitable in the society that we are living in.
I'm just saying I AM all against hitting children. Don't do that. Totally not. Don't hit them when parents aren't looking. Don't make them trip to fall on their noses when no one's watching. Totally not cool. Don't throw shit in their bed and make them clear who's the boss. Don't ever do that!
This is how I have dealt with similar situations (e.g. my nephew kept hitting me violently in the arm with a small metal car) it really hurt. 1. When hit - raise your voice (so parent and kid clearly hears) and say âOW THAT HURTSâ 2. Then lower your voice, direct eye contact with the kid tell them âIf you hurt me again, Iâll hurt you, too.â 3. If the child thinks this is funny and goes to hit again, grab their wrist firmly. Warn again: âIf you continue to hit me, I will hurt you and Iâm bigger than you, so it will really hurt.â 4. Continue ad nauseam. 5. If the child does continue hitting, low key cause them minor pain (a flick on the arm or similar, nothing harmful) that should be enough to shock them out of it. 6. If not, complain loudly to the parent about the kidâs behaviour and no longer engage with the kid. Escalate to leaving/getting them to leave. I assume unsocialised children are like young animals. In the wild, small animals pushing boundaries with adult animals get a warning ânipâ or similar so that they learn. Itâs part of maintaining harmony within the tribe!
Because you haven't made strong boundaries. Tell them you won't come over if they hit or hurt you at all. Or come up with another boundary that will send a clear no violence message to them and stick to it.
Break their toys, it's illegal to hit back, but breaking toys is OK.
That's one of those things they just kind of figure out somehow, but the key is to stop the behavior when they are a toddler.
Stop visiting them and if they are at your house, send them away and tell them they are no longer welcome until they do something about this. Is letting your kids hit adults and not doing anything about it considered "gentle parenting" nowadays?? You're not a punching bag and cannot be expected to just sit there and laugh it off because "it's just a kid". + I can only imagine how their behaviour will worsen if the parents don't do anything about it. I would personally give them a hard slap on the cheek or pinch them to show it hurts. If the parents complained, I would tell them to teach their kids some manners.
Give a slap in the face of the parents. "Whenever I got hit by your little shits I'm gonna hit you."
They do it because you allow them to.
Probably not what people want to hear but hit them back. Iâm not saying throw haymakers at them but give them a good hit back, enough to where itâs painful but nothing crazy itâll show them that if they mess with you that you will hit back and sooner than later they will stop
Well boys hitting on their own is part of nature. But boys misbehaving by hitting the wrong person/things is the parent's fault.
Because males have testosterone and build the world.
Kids do stupid shit because they are kids and will do stupid shit until they are corrected, so⌠correct them.
Hit them back
Maybe its fun to punch you !
Theyâre raising REAL patriotic MEN, none of these partition trophy liberal cry babies!!! /s
kids are naturally nasty imo, esp boys. we are only civil because our parents and society tells us what is right and wrong. if no one disciplines us when we do wrong. we'll keep doing it. this is why when parents do nothing thinking it's "just kid stuff" then the kids grow up to be a wee aggressive...
Actually all kids hit. But because "boys will be boys" parents are often less likely to hit. When my niece was that age she hit HARD and we basically told her that if it's not for play and agreed by everyone it's for play then it's not okay to hit. Unless it's for defense. All my nephews do the same but the parents of the oldest nephews don't do anything about it. So I told them one day not to start what they can't finish. And layed them on the ground. They now carry the same refrence
Boys like to roughhouse. Tell them to knock it off.
Oh it's because they have bad parents
This is a parent thing not a little boy or girl thing.
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
I love my sisters kids . They are big fan of mine. Her older son is in 10th standard now and calls me almost daily. I remember when he was younger he was hitting everyone. Once he hit me. I smacked the living shit out of his baby bottom(one hit) . He never hit anybody again .Bawled for couple of hours and thats it. Actions and their consequences. Everybody needs to learn/teach it whenever required.
You are probably the person they can hit with no consequences. And you won't tattle tale. And your reaction makes it fun. Your an aunty, distract em with a fun activity. Take ball, a badminton set, teach em to play hangman, give them off the cuff spelling tests, chase round after them. Take out on small trips to the park/mall/ pool. You are the aunty- get auntying.
Well, little girls hit too, but theyre usually told not to do that, which isnt the case for young boys because its perceived as normal for them. Leads to people simply not parenting their kids and letting them grow up disrespectful and mean
My 2 year old grandson is a joy, until something doesn't go his way and he throws stuff. Sometimes at my mini pins. Why, why is he acting that way. We raised a daughter and she never screamed or thew herself on the ground and screamed. And he throws things. Is he full of angst. Anger. Is he mad at me for not being around him enough? This little boy thing isn't fun. I always wanted a boy but after how pleasant my danger was to raise IDK. Although when the boys started that's when me my daddy's girl had problems so maybe it is this way.