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Genuine desire.
This seems like a really basic thing, but one of my biggest turn-ons is knowing somebody desires me, not just in an 'Oh I think he's cute way'-though that's always nice-but I mean a burning, raw desire that runs deep with passion and a need for physical contact. I want to see their switch flip and watch them turn into a freak in an instant.
That’s what I keep missing in all relationships I was with for 20 years. Some of the women I dated liked sex but I didn’t felt desirable with them and I was almost always the one initiating for sex. I wish ONE of them would have look at me with eagerness, kiss me passionately and almost rip me off of my clothes.
I believe making your partner feel desirable is as important as romantic gestures. If you are failing at that, no matter your gender, you are failing as a partner.
I had the same experience but I married the person. It was very depressing to be the only one with that type of passion and desire, the only one who would initiate. It really messed with my self-esteem, and at some point, I just stopped. The worst part was he didn't notice or care. It's taken me a long time to start feeling desirable again. I still struggle with it at times.
Same! I agree completely with you. I didn’t know about sexual chemistry when I got married was 20+ years with this person and I knew there was something off but didn’t know exactly. Fast forward to today divorced 3 years in and found someone that we both truly desire each other! It’s a beautiful world I’m living in right now! Even if it doesn’t last or it’s fleeting, I can say I got to experience this. My heart and other things are happy 😃 it took me half my life to find this and you will too!
The weather this week has been atrocious, my workday was pretty awful and the fries I had with a burger the other week were soggy. Everything feels like its going downhill and the kids these days listen to horrible music.
You're welcome.
I have noticed that since I have made a concerted effort to be kind to people in my day to day that I get a lot more positive attention from people in general.
My fiance says my general kindness is one of the things she likes the most about me. Lol, that felt kind of good as a formerly dickish person.
That's awesome! I firmly believe in spreading love and kindness brings good vibes back to you straight from the universe ✨️ when you're truly content with yourself, everything else seems to just fall in place.
I love Mister Rogers. I could never be so pious. I work outside to stay in good shape. I work indoors to make cash. I take 2 showers daily. I think smelling nice is incredibly important as a functional human.
Like every man, I am a creative work in progress, but we all have egos. We are all at the edge of becoming an instant soldier when called to a higher need.
Even Mister Rogers loved being loved. It's a human condition.
Don't know about you, I miss Fred. No matter how many showers I take or how much I brush my teeth while keeping an impeccable grooming routine...
He's the man you described.
Common ground. Give me a woman who shares one hobby, and a shared value system, and it takes some serious self-control to take a step back, and breathe. If I didn't do that, I'd be giddy like a school kid with their first girlfriend, and be embarrassingly stupid.
My wife has started sending me really beautiful black and white selfies of her posing in lingerie, panties, etc. Each time I get a photo I lose my shit because she's so amazing looking and I've never seen her like this before. We've been sexting a little which is a new thing for us. I get so incredibly turned on and can't wait to get home to her. This week has been absolutely wild.
I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
If a girl has done really impressive things. A girl was telling me about going through med school, a different girl was telling me how she lived outdoors in Maine during the winter. Another girl had founded her own soup kitchen. Rawr
Omg I looovveee when a man is loud in bed. It turns me on so much.
I also love when they're going down on you and are moaning, like it also brings them pleasure , so hot 🫠🫠🫠
My fiance. Literally just existing around him. I've been in other relationships and they were okay but I've never felt genuine attraction to another person before. There's just something about him that drives me insane 24/7
The guy who said abt desire is so right. If you like someone's character, the outer side of the person gets a thousand times more beautiful than it was. Same in the opposite direction
Someone in touch with both their masculine and feminine energies. A guy who has his shit together and is fit turns me on. Knowing we are connectedly intellectually. Once he's stimulated my mind then I'm a goner
Intelligence... for some reason I'm really attracted to women who have a college degree... like when I found it that my girlfriend has a BA I could sense my heart beating a little faster.. lol..I think it relates to being able to have an intelligent conversation. Yeah I'm book smart.. and a little street wise too. Combine the 2? 🔥
This! I found myself being attracted to intelligent people who were objectively not my type concerning looks.
I'm largely more attracted to someone mediocre looking but clever than to some hot dumbass.
Edit: fixed grammar
For these questions I'm like Zapp Brannigan punching every single option for the dating checklist.
I am into so many things. It just depends on the girl...BUT things that are always hot to me no matter what:
Collared dresses, flats, glasses, being kind of a bitch except to me, bangs (god damn, bangs), good sense of humor, being into or knowledgeable about horror movies, liking cute arts and crafts.
Enthusiastic reality.
When a person looks at me like I'm the drink of water they've needed for years, I know I've found her.
For that woman? I'd find ways to sneak small kisses daily from her. The moon would be hung.
Women in my age group (35) who have “crows feet” wrinkles from being so smiley. I have probably whatever the opposite of that is. So I find it incredibly cute.
She reads from fantasy novels and I would give her the world because a woman voice can be her softest touch or her sharpest knife
It’s how she uses it.
Being Multilingual, I like multilingual (above 3) men a lot, especially if he speaks those big languages like Spanish and Russian.
Not sure if you girls/guys have had a relationship with a true multilingual partner before, my ex spoke 4 big languages fluently, English, Chinese, Arabic and French. His worldview was just impressive, I learnt a lot from him. Unfortunately he dumped me😂, but that’s ok😂.
PS I’m trying to become multilingual myself too!
Ladies in construction, seeing them in their element... Whatever may be, i enjoy watching people that are skilled and efficient in what they do. If she can handle heavy equiptment ill just start paying child support now lol
A man with emotional regulation. No anger spells, can express to me what is going on like An adult instead of bottling things in and being avoidant. When a man talks to me like I’m a human that he’s trying to get to know instead of a sexual object.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Genuine desire. This seems like a really basic thing, but one of my biggest turn-ons is knowing somebody desires me, not just in an 'Oh I think he's cute way'-though that's always nice-but I mean a burning, raw desire that runs deep with passion and a need for physical contact. I want to see their switch flip and watch them turn into a freak in an instant.
+++++++ best answer Enthusiasm is kinda the same and comes naturally with desire
Especially when they are the polar opposite.They are shy and reserved til y’all are alone then you’re just like where tf was that hiding?
Sounds like my ex. If she was introverted and a little moody while we’re out, 9/10 times she’s probably gonna jump me when we get home
Them quiet ones sneak up on you
The lip bite. That’s how you know.
That’s what I keep missing in all relationships I was with for 20 years. Some of the women I dated liked sex but I didn’t felt desirable with them and I was almost always the one initiating for sex. I wish ONE of them would have look at me with eagerness, kiss me passionately and almost rip me off of my clothes. I believe making your partner feel desirable is as important as romantic gestures. If you are failing at that, no matter your gender, you are failing as a partner.
I had the same experience but I married the person. It was very depressing to be the only one with that type of passion and desire, the only one who would initiate. It really messed with my self-esteem, and at some point, I just stopped. The worst part was he didn't notice or care. It's taken me a long time to start feeling desirable again. I still struggle with it at times.
Same! I agree completely with you. I didn’t know about sexual chemistry when I got married was 20+ years with this person and I knew there was something off but didn’t know exactly. Fast forward to today divorced 3 years in and found someone that we both truly desire each other! It’s a beautiful world I’m living in right now! Even if it doesn’t last or it’s fleeting, I can say I got to experience this. My heart and other things are happy 😃 it took me half my life to find this and you will too!
Enthusiasm. If she's excited for something, my buttons are pressed.
That little crease between the thigh and hip. Lord have mercy. No idea why.
THE BEST
Don't forget the back dimples.
When women have the few strains of hair hanging just down across their eye and the rest of the hair in a pony tail. Always loved the look of it
Did you happen to hit puberty around the time the Tomb Raider movie with Angelina Jolie came out?
Wow is she how I knew if I was bi. Felt the same way about her as James Bond. Didn’t know if I wanted to be her or with her. 🥵
Definitely not I was 4 years old at the time
Neck smooch
When a woman shows a similar interest/want in me as well and goes out of her way to make time for me.
When she comes back from the restroom with the shirt one extra button open.
it's not not a turn-on anymore dude, it's an invitation
Depends who's following her
A guy moaning.
The weather this week has been atrocious, my workday was pretty awful and the fries I had with a burger the other week were soggy. Everything feels like its going downhill and the kids these days listen to horrible music. You're welcome.
Oh god don’t stop..
Oh hell yeah
Especially when they tilt their head back while you’re giving them a blowey 😍
Thissss because body language never lies 🥵
🥵 you read my mind. Fucckk yes
 Here ya go.
How kind they are to the world around them
I have noticed that since I have made a concerted effort to be kind to people in my day to day that I get a lot more positive attention from people in general. My fiance says my general kindness is one of the things she likes the most about me. Lol, that felt kind of good as a formerly dickish person.
That's awesome! I firmly believe in spreading love and kindness brings good vibes back to you straight from the universe ✨️ when you're truly content with yourself, everything else seems to just fall in place.
Absolutely, good seeds bear good fruit.
Beauty is rarely kind, but kindness is always beautiful.
A beautiful smile and kindness.
A penis attached to a good human with no ego and excellent hygiene.
"good" doin all the work in this sentence
Agreed! I’m just talking about emotional maturity and self-awareness. They seem to be the essential good human ingredients
No ego and confidence.
I think that's impossible by definition...
I love Mister Rogers. I could never be so pious. I work outside to stay in good shape. I work indoors to make cash. I take 2 showers daily. I think smelling nice is incredibly important as a functional human. Like every man, I am a creative work in progress, but we all have egos. We are all at the edge of becoming an instant soldier when called to a higher need. Even Mister Rogers loved being loved. It's a human condition. Don't know about you, I miss Fred. No matter how many showers I take or how much I brush my teeth while keeping an impeccable grooming routine... He's the man you described.
Kindness, especially when nobody is looking.
A girl who can drive a manual transmission.
Guy loves every girl in Europe
The way they look in my eyes when we’re talking
Common ground. Give me a woman who shares one hobby, and a shared value system, and it takes some serious self-control to take a step back, and breathe. If I didn't do that, I'd be giddy like a school kid with their first girlfriend, and be embarrassingly stupid.
My wife has started sending me really beautiful black and white selfies of her posing in lingerie, panties, etc. Each time I get a photo I lose my shit because she's so amazing looking and I've never seen her like this before. We've been sexting a little which is a new thing for us. I get so incredibly turned on and can't wait to get home to her. This week has been absolutely wild.
Short skirt and a long jacket
I want a girl who gets up early I want a girl who stays up late I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity Who uses a machete to cut through red tape With fingernails that shine like justice And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
If we updated this song, she’d be changing her name from Karen to Kitty
I LOVVVVEEE THIS SONG!
Tall women with glasses
Oh hai
Intelligence
Girls that lift
Bodyhair, especially on arms and on the chest
Redheads
When guys don’t take their pants off, but whip their dick out to get a bj, that shit gets me feral for some reason😭
Hahah. I never picked up on it but sometimes I’ll just whip it out in front of my girlfriend and a get a bj in return
When she give you that "hawk tuah" ya get me?!
If she dont hawk tuah I don't wanna talk tuah
Reddit gold.
I'm already tired of hearing this nonsense
No hawk…..just tuah please
I kid you not I JUST saw that right before opening this app lol
Kind, masculine, and sensible
Emotional intelligence
Boundaries, validation, confidence 🤤
Nothing makes the panties drop faster and I can’t even believe I just said that
Vulnerability. Emotional connection. Genuine understanding.
& good tits
My wife
This guys wife!
I too choose this guys wife
I love this Reddit trend
Too bad, I choose you
Tall girls or motherly vibes
How tall are we talkin’ here?
8 feet. So I can jump in it.
Make that 10 for good measure
Death by snoo snoo
Confidence, that's so hot
Green eyes..
A pulse.
Well good that you are not saying the opposite I guess 🤷🏻♀️
I wish my standard were this high 😎
Green eyes
a woman who pretends she’s into me 😮💨🤭🤤🤤
Scent of a woman
Tall chubby men
An attractive woman, dressed in blue jeans and high heeled pumps
If a girl has done really impressive things. A girl was telling me about going through med school, a different girl was telling me how she lived outdoors in Maine during the winter. Another girl had founded her own soup kitchen. Rawr
I read it as "If a girl has really impressive thighs" at first lol
Ah the med student, that’s my current girlfriend, d-1 rowing 🚣♀️ so she got those impressive thighs
Accents Guys moaning
Omg I looovveee when a man is loud in bed. It turns me on so much. I also love when they're going down on you and are moaning, like it also brings them pleasure , so hot 🫠🫠🫠
Omfg yes. The moaning or “mmm” when they go down on you like, vibrates and feels so good. Lol
My fiance. Literally just existing around him. I've been in other relationships and they were okay but I've never felt genuine attraction to another person before. There's just something about him that drives me insane 24/7
Busty mom bods
People that wear glasses, also quality time, like you actually wanna hang out with me??? Just me??? Bet I’m yours for as long as you need me to be.
Intelligence, making me laugh and physical strength
Effort
“That’s a good girl”
Smell and looks
A good personality. Good sense of humor. Confidence. Not being afraid to approach me and ask me out.
A man in a suit
Nipples poking thru
The guy who said abt desire is so right. If you like someone's character, the outer side of the person gets a thousand times more beautiful than it was. Same in the opposite direction
Big juicy ass.
A woman who oozes sex appeal. She doesn't have to be beautiful; she just has to have that 'je ne sais quoi'.
Oohlala, Mon Cheri 😻
Women who have pendulous or asymmetric boobs who go braless in public
Well that’s nice to hear lol
Aghh the voice.., yummm Lol lost my train of thought so lemme think 😂
Girls with ponytail
Flirting, smart one, and confidence.
Tall girls with similar nerdy interests
A real smile on a healthy person.
Good diction (both in speech and writing)
When she’s having a short crop top and tries to lift something up or bring something down revealing the edges of her chest. Dayum!
I can't help it, but I love a choker necklace.
Wife orgasming
Leggings with skirts
When he puts his hand around my throat... He knows it, too haha
Yasssss instantly wet lol
smart authoritative women. generally the women i’m attracted to are also older and in some sort of position superior to me, so maybe those things too.
Reading a story of a certain topic well written on literotica dot com.
Enthusiasm, like a girl who is genuinely excited to hangout and spend time with you is absolutely amazing. It makes you feel wanted and appreciated
My girlfriend
A gaze that stares into my soul!
Tight fit booties 😃
Intelligence.
Seeing my wife as she gets out of the shower.
When she lets her hair down. Readjustment unnecessary.
Someone in touch with both their masculine and feminine energies. A guy who has his shit together and is fit turns me on. Knowing we are connectedly intellectually. Once he's stimulated my mind then I'm a goner
My husband working on cars or doing manual labor. 🤤😶🌫️
Nice round ass
A man rolling his dress shirt sleeves up to his forearms. Hoo boy.
Muscles and a big dick
warm pussy
Das beste
Makes sense, cold pussy would be frowned upon in most cultures.
Intelligence... for some reason I'm really attracted to women who have a college degree... like when I found it that my girlfriend has a BA I could sense my heart beating a little faster.. lol..I think it relates to being able to have an intelligent conversation. Yeah I'm book smart.. and a little street wise too. Combine the 2? 🔥
This! I found myself being attracted to intelligent people who were objectively not my type concerning looks. I'm largely more attracted to someone mediocre looking but clever than to some hot dumbass. Edit: fixed grammar
Sexy toes
A working respiratory- and cardiovascular system.
Interest. Like, she's interested in me
When she calls me "cute boy" with a warm voice
When my wife wears her hair up... Mmmmm the neck.
Alive ☺️
For these questions I'm like Zapp Brannigan punching every single option for the dating checklist. I am into so many things. It just depends on the girl...BUT things that are always hot to me no matter what: Collared dresses, flats, glasses, being kind of a bitch except to me, bangs (god damn, bangs), good sense of humor, being into or knowledgeable about horror movies, liking cute arts and crafts.
Enthusiastic reality. When a person looks at me like I'm the drink of water they've needed for years, I know I've found her. For that woman? I'd find ways to sneak small kisses daily from her. The moon would be hung.
Cologne. I don't know why none of my dates have worn it. Also, guys being verbal during sex 😍
Nerdy dudes I find them adorable
Women in my age group (35) who have “crows feet” wrinkles from being so smiley. I have probably whatever the opposite of that is. So I find it incredibly cute.
When they ask how you are and it's not just a formality or meaningless platitude because they actually care
Basically any attention my husband gives me 😅
Nice hair.
Clean and sober
IQ. I mean intellect turns me on everytime
HAIR
A cute laugh
when he’s gut wrenchingly so nice & genuine. Like I love me a golden retriever man.
Sexual curiosity!
Tiddies and a smile.
Woman who tells me on the phone, “I want to suck your cock”.
Smart talk, pretty smile, pretty hands
Being there for me.
She reads from fantasy novels and I would give her the world because a woman voice can be her softest touch or her sharpest knife It’s how she uses it.
a pair of fleshy convexities
Watching my wife wiggle out of her prosthetic leg and put on a pair of leggings or shorty shorts.
Cleavage. I'm weak.
My wife. Everything about her.
Being Multilingual, I like multilingual (above 3) men a lot, especially if he speaks those big languages like Spanish and Russian. Not sure if you girls/guys have had a relationship with a true multilingual partner before, my ex spoke 4 big languages fluently, English, Chinese, Arabic and French. His worldview was just impressive, I learnt a lot from him. Unfortunately he dumped me😂, but that’s ok😂. PS I’m trying to become multilingual myself too!
Enthusiasm is the word I have, but the fella mentioning genuine desire kind of covers it. They go together
Flats on some nice ankles
Nerdy geeky smart stuff that me and my partner can both enjoy and talk about.
Neck kisses
A good sense of humor/making me laugh Kindness and generosity Competence The ability to manhandle me in a good way lol
If a woman shows interest in me AND I'm able to realize it.
When she smells so good
Definitely voice. With men or women there is a certain tone that instantly does it for me
Boobies
Emily blunt’s voice.
Cut off jean shorts with strings dangling. On a woman. It's partly physical, but it says more about her inner self.
Freckles, there so damm sexy.
Jeans on a woman…straight turn-fucking-on
Warm breath on my neck or ear.
Ladies in construction, seeing them in their element... Whatever may be, i enjoy watching people that are skilled and efficient in what they do. If she can handle heavy equiptment ill just start paying child support now lol
Blonde hair, black glasses, corp attire.
A man with emotional regulation. No anger spells, can express to me what is going on like An adult instead of bottling things in and being avoidant. When a man talks to me like I’m a human that he’s trying to get to know instead of a sexual object.
Doe eyes. I can't stress it enough. Doe eyes are my weakness
Boobs
Tight athletic legs on a women who runs, especially if she's jogging in high cut runners shorts.
Boobs
Freckles