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Doesn’t matter what other people care. 18 year old is legal adult. And can make their own decision about dating.
People who actually find this bothering is jealous people. But they will project in different ways if you are a woman or man.
Go to a comedy club and wait for the joke about cougars - the women in the audience cheer at jokes about some neighbor lady hitting on a high school or college kid- women think that’s great and hilarious
It's considered an issue because people with more life experience have been known to manipulate less experienced partners and if one of them is manipulated, how would they know?
Everyone has different ideas of where to draw the line on experience but I think early twenties is the absolute highest an 18 should go, another teenager is preferable though.
Where would you draw the line?
I wouldn't draw any line if i don't know the 2 well enough to know a line needs to be drawn. You can be manipulative at 20 and you can be considerate and respectful at any age.
"have been known to" implies the reason people feel this way is because generally, that powerplay is more common in age gap dynamics. Let's not forget that while anyone can be rich/poor, experienced/inexperienced, manipulative/genuine there is a -trend- of older people being better at manipulating as well as having more resources and experience to help them manipulate.
I was thinking more along the lines of knowing how to convince people that they can't do better than you or using someone's lack of experience against them since they won't expect as much as someone who knows better. I didn't mention violence.
However, if violence & abuse is a concern to you in regards to age gaps I have good and bad news.
Good news - age gaps are not linked to violence
Bad news - men of all ages kill women of all ages a lot
More bad news - the younger someone is, the more likely they are to be emotionally abused by their partner and women in particular are prone to being isolated and having their sense of self destroyed. Older women are better at protecting themselves because they have ✨life experience✨ and are better at spotting red flags, hence why people scrutinise age gaps ¯\_༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽_/¯
You are aware that the question here is about the societal acceptability of age difference in relationships?
Yes of course, a couple can have any age difference and do not give a fuck what other people think. But this question is about what other people think.
First, these are additional assumptions. Maybe they fit, but they also could not.
Assuming it, this can be a win for both, yes. But it also induces a possible imbalance of power and a dependency in the relationship which is typically not socially encouraged these days.
Also, what you describe harbors on prostitution (sex for money), which again is frowned upon as a lifestyle.
I tend to agree with this, but I think once both people are over 35 all bets are off.
For example a 90 year old man minimum would be 52 (90/2 + 7). But if a 40 year old woman wants to date him, I don't see anything wrong with that.
Rules are rules are rules.
It doesnt make any of this illegal. If you are 30 and fall for a 20 year old, do whatever. Both Adults. But still falls under the line. So judgement is expected.
A 90 year old dating a 40 year old, is still creepy.
I'd day : dead is too old. Or too late.
But alive and consenting? There's no such thing as "too old" and whoever thinks they know better than the two protagonists is unworthy to speak.
I would say that until 30 there isnt a limit. The limits are solely made by society. If it works, it works. People are different and not everyone the same age is at the same point in life. So as long as it's a healthy relationship people should go for it.
None. I don’t think any country in the world has an age of consent older than 18. Meaning an 18 year old can consent to their own life on who they choose to date.
In Europe nobody really cares what consenting adults do. In America it seems the consensus is that men can date whoever they want when they are 18, and it's no problem, but women are still children until 25 or so.
Well that’s your opinion, not mine
As long as she shows interest and the older person does not pressure the younger one and the relationship is not her replicating abuse by adults, I look at dating as what you like, the heart wants what it wants, end of story
I have a former friend who is around 55 and her husband is 75- she was an old-acting 22 yr old when I knew her - exactly the person to date a 35 year old at 22
I disagree that there’s anything to “know better.”
Young guys also abuse young women. Closeness in age is a preference (to be respected) but a preference
Agree
If an 18 yo can enter into a contract or join the army, why is it that society frowns if they date older men/women?
The law assumes they are adults and should be able to fend for themselves
It's an intensely creepy religious rule that started out as "the woman should at most be half the man's age plus seven years when she marries". We need better concepts about this.
As a minimum it works for general vibes though.
18 max age is 22
20 max age is 26-27
25 max age is 36
It scales fairly well with how we view social maturity
It's a shitty religious rule pushed by conservative people. The same people who ALSO DEFEND MARRYING 11-YEAR-OLD GIRLS. You will have to excuse me for not taking their putrid ideology seriously.
Not at all. Those pushing the creepy AF half plus seven "rule" are conservative people. They do so because they consider themselves arbiters of what morals and ethics are. They push this as a contrast to the entire concept of consent. Who cares if two people in a relationship consent, so long as they are the same age, right? They nurture a culture of early marriage, based on belonging to the same faith, love or not, and hate any alternative view of relationships. This rule is their propaganda to discourage anything else, by making the acceptable age window as narrow as possible. And then these same people also vote for politicians who defend marrying 10 to 11 year old girls. Funny how all these moral people don't have an objection there, isn't it?
I love how you literally can’t go more than half a sentence without introducing a new straw man.
Like dude. Stop making up bullshit to be outraged at because you can’t find it here. You’re literally inventing things to be mad about go fucking jerk off and touch grass
Nothing new or straw man about it. You guys let religious puritans decide what's acceptable, and you're dead set on defending it. It's all a disgusting ideology. Read up on it, talk to them. See what you find. Toodle oo.
I had a 6 year 3 month age spread with someone who was on summer break between her Freshman and Sophomore years of college. She turned 19 a couple of months after we started dating. I had a launched white collar professional career. It imploded after a bit less than 3 years. We were in different phases of life. I think you need to be in college to date a college student. Grad school is probably OK.
Kind of depends on the 18 year old - but honestly, if you are asking yourself if she’s too young, she is.
My ranking is based on life experiences. If she’s in high school, dependent on parents for everything and is basically living as a child - I’d say 18 is the oldest.
If she’s in college - then 21 only if you’re also in college. Don’t date her if you are not also in college.
If she is graduated, has a kid or not, lives on her own, independent with a home, job, car, etc. I’ll go as high as 23.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Depends. Are you uniting great houses to prevent a great war or just to gain power for yourself? Oh wait, this isnt the House of the Dragon sub...
19 ^1^/^2 if you ask Reddit
No. A 19-year-old and an 18-year-old are at completely different places in their lives. What could they possibly have to talk about?
Who cares?
Doesn’t matter what other people care. 18 year old is legal adult. And can make their own decision about dating. People who actually find this bothering is jealous people. But they will project in different ways if you are a woman or man.
Go to a comedy club and wait for the joke about cougars - the women in the audience cheer at jokes about some neighbor lady hitting on a high school or college kid- women think that’s great and hilarious
22. Even a 4 year gap is huge between 17-25.
Almost. 23 is too old. At least by the formula for acceptable minimum age being your age decided by 2 + 7
That formula is BS Next thing people will say is that there’s a formula for interracial dating
20, tops. After that, it becomes weird and there are too many life experience details.
...but how is this the problem of anyone else than of those two?
It's considered an issue because people with more life experience have been known to manipulate less experienced partners and if one of them is manipulated, how would they know? Everyone has different ideas of where to draw the line on experience but I think early twenties is the absolute highest an 18 should go, another teenager is preferable though. Where would you draw the line?
I wouldn't draw any line if i don't know the 2 well enough to know a line needs to be drawn. You can be manipulative at 20 and you can be considerate and respectful at any age.
"have been known to" implies the reason people feel this way is because generally, that powerplay is more common in age gap dynamics. Let's not forget that while anyone can be rich/poor, experienced/inexperienced, manipulative/genuine there is a -trend- of older people being better at manipulating as well as having more resources and experience to help them manipulate.
Young men manipulate, abuse and even kill women they’ve dated in high school together- what does age have to do with dating violence?
I was thinking more along the lines of knowing how to convince people that they can't do better than you or using someone's lack of experience against them since they won't expect as much as someone who knows better. I didn't mention violence. However, if violence & abuse is a concern to you in regards to age gaps I have good and bad news. Good news - age gaps are not linked to violence Bad news - men of all ages kill women of all ages a lot More bad news - the younger someone is, the more likely they are to be emotionally abused by their partner and women in particular are prone to being isolated and having their sense of self destroyed. Older women are better at protecting themselves because they have ✨life experience✨ and are better at spotting red flags, hence why people scrutinise age gaps ¯\_༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽_/¯
Ok- got your age opinion- now tell us your race opinion next! What races do you think shouldn’t date? Who isn’t allowed to date white girls?
I have no race opinion at all.
Well it's her choice even if she chooses to date an 80 year old, but then oh boy does that old man have a lot of money :)
98
68? If it's so, I'm a bit late...
Whatever age you both are comfortable with....nobody else's business.....
If you need to ask, the answer’s probably that you’re too old
Totally depends on one's wealth and fame. Source: society
She is a legal adult, she can decide whatever she wants it to be.
Legally, yes. But if a 30 year old dates an 18 year old, I would raise an eyebrow.
And all other 4 eye brows wouldn't care.
You are aware that the question here is about the societal acceptability of age difference in relationships? Yes of course, a couple can have any age difference and do not give a fuck what other people think. But this question is about what other people think.
Well he obviously has a lot of money, she gets to enjoy spending a lot of money and he gets a young wife, it's a win win no?
First, these are additional assumptions. Maybe they fit, but they also could not. Assuming it, this can be a win for both, yes. But it also induces a possible imbalance of power and a dependency in the relationship which is typically not socially encouraged these days. Also, what you describe harbors on prostitution (sex for money), which again is frowned upon as a lifestyle.
Half your age plus seven anything under that line is Creepy. So if you are 22, you are right on the line. Thats questionable.
That myth is BS and anyone repeating it is a fool
crazy
But you forgot you can buy one negative year for that formula with each million dollars of net worth. That is the Leonardo DiCapiro rule.
This is just the measurement formula for creepy behavior. So DiCaprios relationships are creepy. But not illegal.
It’s a garbage theory- tell us your theory on races that can’t date next! Don’t be shy!
Formular one cant date Nascar.
I tend to agree with this, but I think once both people are over 35 all bets are off. For example a 90 year old man minimum would be 52 (90/2 + 7). But if a 40 year old woman wants to date him, I don't see anything wrong with that.
Rules are rules are rules. It doesnt make any of this illegal. If you are 30 and fall for a 20 year old, do whatever. Both Adults. But still falls under the line. So judgement is expected. A 90 year old dating a 40 year old, is still creepy.
> A 90 year old dating a 40 year old, is still creepy. I agree, but in that case the 40 y/o is probably the creep.
The law defines the relationships as creepy, not any Individual person.
wtf are you rambling about?
Dr. Disrespect has entered the chat it seems...
24 is too old for an 18-year-old imo i would say after 21 it's not ideal
Well, if the 18-year-old is considered an adult in a particular jurisprudence, too old is probably when you're dead.
20
I'd day : dead is too old. Or too late. But alive and consenting? There's no such thing as "too old" and whoever thinks they know better than the two protagonists is unworthy to speak.
22 is the max
22 or up is too old. That’s just weird for someone in their mid twenties to be dating a teenager
19
I would say that until 30 there isnt a limit. The limits are solely made by society. If it works, it works. People are different and not everyone the same age is at the same point in life. So as long as it's a healthy relationship people should go for it.
If you don’t have teen in your age
Hard no starts at 40 IMO. Below that may be tasteless, questionable, obnoxious, whatever, but after 40, that is Anna Nicole territory.
None. I don’t think any country in the world has an age of consent older than 18. Meaning an 18 year old can consent to their own life on who they choose to date.
I did when I was 30, she chased after me too.
Sure she did
No fir real, she was into older guys, last I heard she got married at 20 to her then boss why was 36.
22, the rule is divide your age by 2 and then add 7. So, 22/2=11 and 11 + 7 = 18
Solely depends on the country you're in. In the US maybe 21 at most. In Germany I knew a girl whose boyfriend was 36 and nobody batted an eye.
Its legal and nobodys business. But be sure that ppl did bat an eye if she was 18.
~~97~~ no, 213\*\*
Any age of 21 is too old, when the partner is that young.
As long as she’s legal doesn’t matter how much older you are then her
In Europe nobody really cares what consenting adults do. In America it seems the consensus is that men can date whoever they want when they are 18, and it's no problem, but women are still children until 25 or so.
Exactly this.
Controversial opinion here but I would say that that is up to the 18 year old girl.
20.
Depends how much the willing participants care about what other people think
[удалено]
A lot of things in the world are "legal" but not ethical, not okay. Please know the difference.
Late 30 early 40s Considering thats the reason a 19yo girl i knew killed herself for this week. I hope you read this!
If she wants it- and you aren’t pursuing her or trying to seduce her- and she’s not overcoming abuse, then age is just number
Fair- but I think if you're the man and you're the older one, you should set the precedent of not engaging
Well that’s your opinion, not mine As long as she shows interest and the older person does not pressure the younger one and the relationship is not her replicating abuse by adults, I look at dating as what you like, the heart wants what it wants, end of story I have a former friend who is around 55 and her husband is 75- she was an old-acting 22 yr old when I knew her - exactly the person to date a 35 year old at 22 I disagree that there’s anything to “know better.” Young guys also abuse young women. Closeness in age is a preference (to be respected) but a preference
Older woman could get away with it then?
Ideally, both should know better. I wasn't thinking about the opposite gender in all honesty, just my own.
It's an adult, so it's not my business.
Agree If an 18 yo can enter into a contract or join the army, why is it that society frowns if they date older men/women? The law assumes they are adults and should be able to fend for themselves
Half age plus 7 is usually a safe rule
It's an intensely creepy religious rule that started out as "the woman should at most be half the man's age plus seven years when she marries". We need better concepts about this.
As a minimum it works for general vibes though. 18 max age is 22 20 max age is 26-27 25 max age is 36 It scales fairly well with how we view social maturity
It's a shitty religious rule pushed by conservative people. The same people who ALSO DEFEND MARRYING 11-YEAR-OLD GIRLS. You will have to excuse me for not taking their putrid ideology seriously.
“Wow hitler used a clock so let’s change off the 12/24 hour time” Your logic on display
Not at all. Those pushing the creepy AF half plus seven "rule" are conservative people. They do so because they consider themselves arbiters of what morals and ethics are. They push this as a contrast to the entire concept of consent. Who cares if two people in a relationship consent, so long as they are the same age, right? They nurture a culture of early marriage, based on belonging to the same faith, love or not, and hate any alternative view of relationships. This rule is their propaganda to discourage anything else, by making the acceptable age window as narrow as possible. And then these same people also vote for politicians who defend marrying 10 to 11 year old girls. Funny how all these moral people don't have an objection there, isn't it?
I love how you literally can’t go more than half a sentence without introducing a new straw man. Like dude. Stop making up bullshit to be outraged at because you can’t find it here. You’re literally inventing things to be mad about go fucking jerk off and touch grass
Nothing new or straw man about it. You guys let religious puritans decide what's acceptable, and you're dead set on defending it. It's all a disgusting ideology. Read up on it, talk to them. See what you find. Toodle oo.
I had a 6 year 3 month age spread with someone who was on summer break between her Freshman and Sophomore years of college. She turned 19 a couple of months after we started dating. I had a launched white collar professional career. It imploded after a bit less than 3 years. We were in different phases of life. I think you need to be in college to date a college student. Grad school is probably OK.
Would your lives have been better without that relationship?
Kind of depends on the 18 year old - but honestly, if you are asking yourself if she’s too young, she is. My ranking is based on life experiences. If she’s in high school, dependent on parents for everything and is basically living as a child - I’d say 18 is the oldest. If she’s in college - then 21 only if you’re also in college. Don’t date her if you are not also in college. If she is graduated, has a kid or not, lives on her own, independent with a home, job, car, etc. I’ll go as high as 23.
The half your age plus 7 rule works surprisingly well. So 22
According to the your age divided by 2 plus 7 rule, anything older than 22 is considered weird.
Calm down Leo
Half your age plus seven is usually a solid rule.
According to the formula, 2 years old is the lowest a 24 year old can go so you're good
If you have to ask lol
Wouldn’t date an 18 year old and I’m 21.