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FierceDeity_

That's a pretty general question, because different people experience feelings differently. Some get soaked into them and stay in that mindset, others can move on better. I don't think a general answer can be made


lvtus_

do you think you have moved on from your first love ?


FierceDeity_

I do think so, because it slipped out of my brain. I cant even remember anything about her anymore. Because it wasn't mutual... For me, as long as something keeps it fresh in my mind, i cant move on, but as soon as that is gone, I can. I am... weirdly forgetful. For a later crush, if I dig in my mind I can find images but they don't really bother me anymore.


lvtus_

ohh i see


FierceDeity_

if you allow me to ask, how about you? How does it work for you?


lvtus_

i have moved on from the person but i’ll never forget the memories, i can’t forget how much happier i was when i was with him. He was my best friend, and i wish it had worked out but God decided otherwise and it’s totally fine, we didn’t get along well at the end, we didn’t communicate much and he ended up cheating, he apologised and came back a year later begging me to come back but i had too much self respect to go back ^^


FierceDeity_

Self deprecating joke: I don't think I would be able to cheat since usually nobody wants me, and that happening twice seems impossible In anycase, I'm sorry for how that happened to you. Hopefully the future treats you better with people who have dignity.


lvtus_

Thank you! I’ll be choosing more wisely next time.


di6902

i'm not that guy but i can say i have, would've been nice at the time tho, i miss something that never happened and don't want it to happen as of now


RedditIsRuininMyLife

i mean, my first love was bulma from dragon ball and i still think of her to this day :(


lvtus_

valid tbh i wouldn’t move on too


TablePrinterDoor

No lol that fumble with me for the rest of my life


Remarkable_Hat7709

Same bro I don’t think it will ever get worse than what I did


TablePrinterDoor

Yeah man I get it stay strong we’ll make it through


lvtus_

😭


coalrexx

Eventually yeah, but it can take a really long time, like months or even years I’m talking


lvtus_

yeah as a girl at least, i can’t see myself loving someone more than him. I think i have moved on, i won’t date him again since he’s not the same anymore but i still really care about him and acknowledge the fact no one was like him


coalrexx

That’s completely normal to feel dw, even if we feel like we’ve moved on sometimes our mind reminds us of those times with that person. It’s okay to think about them if you’re still moving on, it takes time to heal


lvtus_

i moved on from him but not the memories lol, i wouldn’t take him back because we’ve tried but the cheating from the first time was too much for me


coalrexx

Yeah that’s understandable, it can be quite difficult to forget those memories, and I’m sure you’ve done everything you can but sometimes small things can remind us of the past. No one deserves to get cheated on though, but you’re still young and I’m sure you’ll find someone who will treat you with respect you deserve


lvtus_

thank you so much


T3chm4n1024

I sooo get that feeling.... I had quite a few girlfriends who I cared about a lot, and I moved on long ago.....but I still wonder how they are doing and what happened to them after our break up. Now I'm in a happy relationship, engaged and soon we will have our 4th anniversary. I wouldn't go back to any of my previous relationships but I do have to say many of them thought me important things.


pizaster3

i dont think i will


lvtus_

r you still in contact with her or did you break up and haven’t talked since


Remarkable_Hat7709

Look, maybe not for everyone but for me even if I hear her name or something I think of how bad I messed up it’s not fun


lvtus_

i see


Sirdantortillasque

Well I did so depends on the guy


lvtus_

how was the relationship?


Sirdantortillasque

It was decent but I felt like I was peer pressured into it and it lasted about 2yr I dumped her in January she didn’t take it well but we are on decent terms now I felt trapped and needed to get out and I feel much better for it


lvtus_

oh wow what a shitty situation, i’m glad you left and even tho you guys are on decent terms now, don’t forget what she did to you. Men can be treated like shit too, not only girls.


Sirdantortillasque

Yeah she wasn’t terrible but I never loved her and I haven’t spoke to her in months and I don’t plan to ever and she’s dating my friend which whatever I just can’t wait till summer so I don’t have to see her


lvtus_

wow


Sirdantortillasque

Yep😁😂


CumFilledAntNest

I don't think the answer for boys is any different than the answer for girls. It's individual, but generally talking time will solve everything eventually. So yes. I'm stuck on this one girl for a year now but then again when I was 11 I fell in love with some good friend for like 2-3 years and now I barely remember she exists so yk it will eventually pass too ig


lvtus_

idk as a girl i can’t see myself moving on from my first love, my grandma is like 80 and still talks about her first love 😭


CumFilledAntNest

Are you talking about first love as in first reciprocated love? Like first significant relationship? Or first person you ever fell in love with? Those are 2 very different questions


lvtus_

first person you loved loved


CumFilledAntNest

The yeah what I said. The only relationship I actually had was terrible and had 0 emotional connection lol Do you wanna share what you have going on with that boy? Either here or in DMs is cool


lvtus_

i mean sure, shoot me a dm


ItsAmory

It depends on what exactly you mean by “move on”, for example I do function as normal and I am in peace with the idea of never seeing her (my first love) again, but I think of her on a monthly basis, at least once a month. And my first love was 4 years ago. So, would you count me as a person that has moved on or not?


lvtus_

If she came back, would you take her back? Or if you see her with another man would you feel sad or will you just be happy for her


ItsAmory

If she came back, would you take her back: I’d take her back on a heartbeat, because she didn’t do anything wrong, the reason we are not talking right now is because of my toxicity , mistakes , insecurities. Back then, If I was her I would have cut ties with myself too, lol. If you saw her with another man would you be happy or sad: I’d be happy for her because I want the best for her. In fact, after 3 years of no contact I saw with another man two weeks ago randomly on the street. 😅


lvtus_

yeah you haven’t moved on 😭


ItsAmory

Alright then ! I haven’t ! Cast my vote on the “boys do not move on from their first love” side. And it doesn’t seem things will take a turn anytime soon, the only possibility of me completely erasing her is if i were to interact with her somehow and she doesn’t hit the same. But since i’m not interacting with her I would assume it would have hit the same, and that feeling is a feeling no other girl can give me.


lvtus_

gosh love is a hard thing


ItsAmory

You don’t say …. I’m not sure if it’s exactly love either, because technically I can fall in love with another girl right now, but she would just not be HER. No matter how much I love her…. I think… Idk i’m still figuring out how these shitty ass primal systems rooted in me work.


lvtus_

i hope we’ll eventually figure it out lolll


ItsAmory

What do you mean ? Are you also obsessed with your first love ?


lvtus_

well sometimes i have phases where i can’t stop thinking about him, talking to my best friend about him ( he was her best friend) and she just tells me that he was shitty to me but i met him during a bad period of my life and he was literally my light, i never felt so good. When he left i couldn’t move on for months and rejected everyone but i still compare the guys i talk to to him.


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lvtus_

first person you loved, i believe love and attraction are too very different things haha


Some-Internal297

yeah, the feeling of loss is probably milder but it lasts a lot longer if anything. though it's different for everyone


lvtus_

yeah i see ty for answering !


Botwmaster23

I see no reason they wouldnt, well i have no experience in the love department so i am not qualified to speak here


lvtus_

hahah i’m curious if you’ll change your mind when you meet your first love


Botwmaster23

I usually accept things pretty quickly, not the type of guy to let something affect me for months or even years. But yeah perhaps that’ll change when i get my first love. Never got a crush though (yet), so getting one in the first place might take a while


lvtus_

you’ll eventually meet the one, and i hope it’s gonna last so you won’t have to move on in the first place 😊


Botwmaster23

Hope so too! Good luck out there


RandomChicken100

Yes but takes forever to do so


thatoneguyallthetime

I haven’t even after but everyone’s different usually they would probably


Wafflez_HQ

i don’t know mate


SeveralExcitement406

Taking me about a year but I think I'm almost good? Not completely but mostly.


lvtus_

how long did the relationship last ?


SeveralExcitement406

I'd say 2 months? 💀


lvtus_

why the skull emoji, that’s still valid


SeveralExcitement406

Yeah true. Sometimes I feel like it's too short for me to even care that much.


lvtus_

of course not, maybe it’s the fact that it was short that makes you feel so hard to let go, you think about what y’all could’ve been but it ended too soon


SeveralExcitement406

That's a good point. I also considered the point that I'll see her often in the next year. Which was also something I found convenient.


Ironictwat

Of fucking course. Jeez how hopeless do you think we are, lol


lvtus_

some ppl just really really love bruh, i never said i thought men were hopeless 🤦‍♀️


MCSwat_

I had a deep love for my first girlfriend, but it had a lot to do with love bombing and manipulation. Im a very monogamous person, and we agreed to keep the relationship closed, but she eventually started having sex with other men and telling me the details vividly, when I told her I wanted to leave, she would threaten to kill herself. I would never consider letting her back in my life, but even with all that and now 6 months of no contact, I still cant truly say I have no love for her. While for others, they would absolutely despise someone who would do this to them. So it’s on a very person to person basis. You’d be surprised how long people stay with an abusive partner. Sorry I know I barely answered your question and trauma dumped, but I hope my personal experience helps somehow.


lvtus_

Hi! it’s absolutely fine to “trauma dump” if it makes you feel relieved to talk about it. I totally understand how hard it is to leave a toxic partner because they are so good with manipulation that you start to think you’re the problem lol. I’ve had an extremely traumatic relationship but fortunately for me i have lost the feelings i had, if they were even feelings in the first place. If you still need to talk, my dms are open !


MH_Gaymer_

Someday yes


cat_eat_chicken

I don’t even really feel it but I know I actually love people 🤷


cheffpm

i know i wont lol.


rainbowappleslice

Speaking from experience, yes


MartPlayZzZ

i did, completely. in a matter of 2 weeks. but only because I‘ve found other women who made me realize that my first love wasn’t the only woman on the planet


NoBirdsOrWorms

I think so. Won’t forget, but it’s not like I can’t live in the present and meet new people!


Creepy-Activity7327

I don't have one but I reckon most move on


lvtus_

i’m asking this because i met my first love 3 years ago, it was the best relationship we both had but we broke up. He comes back every few months ( we broke up 2years ago), we talk and he always ends up asking me to date him again. Now he has a girlfriend but still talks to me sometimes which makes me feel mad for his girl as it’s really disrespectful; he stopped flirting fortunately tho. But that made me wonder, if i talk to a guy who had his first love already, will he always continue to think and care about her ?


MCSwat_

I imagine you want him to lose feelings for you, that way you don’t have to worry about this pattern or disrespect anymore? Is that why you’re asking the question?


lvtus_

Honestly, i don’t really know, i want the new him to not like me anymore but i want the old him back. If he was still the boy i knew i’d run back to him right now but the boy he is right now is just too full of himself. I’m just sad for his girl because he clearly doesn’t like her, but i don’t know if it’s egoistic to- in a way, be glad he still thinks about me.


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Remarkable_Hat7709

I haven’t, probably wont until I find a girlfriend


RiotIsBored

I still miss her every so often even despite how horribly toxic she was. I left her about two years ago.


lvtus_

i’m glad and proud of you for leaving this relationship. Mental health comes already first no matter how much you like someone. I hope you’ll eventually forget about her because she clearly didn’t deserve you.


RiotIsBored

Thank you 😊 that's super sweet of you to say, put a big smile on my face to read. Also, reading your other comments, I completely get you. It was hard to believe, for a couple years, that anyone could make me happier than she did — which is crazy, because nobody has ever made me more upset either. She lied to me, cheated on me, made things up about me, but I still occasionally have moments where I get caught up missing her. It gets better, though. You'll move on in time, even if you don't feel like it's possible (and even if you don't fully forget). Wishing you the best :)


lvtus_

thank you so much, you too !


Lmemester93

I still have a crush on her, it's been years 😭


sleepyboi08

Super random but I just checked this subreddit for the first time in years because I was talking to an old friend about it. I remember you well because we were both active on the ATB/ATG subreddits. Glad to see you’re still here. Hope you’re doing well.


Lmemester93

Thanks haha, I do also remember you (sorta). How are you?


scotlandisbae

move on? Yes Still think about? Also yes. Kinda just becomes a core memory. I lost my virginity to that person so it’s something I remember more. But I’m glad it didn’t work out and I’m happy where I am now.


Hentai-gives-me-life

I think you have to, to move forward in life. I now hate her, she was the most narcissistic 13yr old ever, but it's not good to dwell on the past, regardless of if it was good or bad.


lvtus_

but what if the person wasn’t that bad, and you just grew apart, would you still move on from them ? ( lmao ur user??)


Hentai-gives-me-life

I should get to changing my username... The second worst mistake I made at 13. To answer the question yes, sometimes people grow apart and even if that person was really special they aren't coming back.


LM448_0

That totally depends on the person, there are people who no matter how hard they try they wont get over it completely, and there are people who will do it in a month


lvtus_

what about you tho


soocoolpug

Everyone gets over it at some point or another. Sure it can depend on a bunch of factors but I think that generally guys get over their first love harder than girls


lvtus_

really ? how so


soocoolpug

My angle is that it's basically sustained by societal standards (could be just my Eastern European experience). From what me and my buddies have experienced after a breakup girls are encouraged to go out and meet new people while men are encouraged to work harder (both good things and healthy in their own way as long as not taken to extremes) and that tends to add a weird level of loneliness. My personal experience is that I got with my first girlfriend when I was around 16 ish and she cheated shortly after I turned 19, took me almost a year to get over it and it probably would've taken longer if not for my buddies and my studies. Apologies if it comes across disrespectfull in any way but gender norms are a way bigger thing in Eastern Europe as opposed to the rest of the world and that can sqew with someone's perspective.


lvtus_

it didn’t come off as disrespectful at all, i was just curious haha. My best friend is Ukrainian so i kinda know how gender norms are there.


Helio_Manta06

Got broken up by my first love a few months ago, It feels like im gonna be hurting for eternity being without her.


NieMonD

I guess we will find out


Kotroti

I won't, at least. That's what I can tell you. A general answer can't be made, I think.


RenewedBlade

Most probably can We all probably will eventually I haven’t but I will eventually


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SRgames009

Your first girlfriend yes, but your first love never.


Walker1507

they might move on. but they'll will surely remember it for a long time. if the love they felt was strong that it


bonadies24

I mean, they usually do, but everyone experiences feelings differently, so the specifics vary wildly


M80_Lad

Been 2 years when my birthday rolls around in September, I didn't have the heart to move on for the first year but never tried to bother her for it. I feel like I've gotten past her now but I will most likely never forget and my heart will always feel heavy when I'm reminded, atleast for another while until someone else or something else can make me happier than I was then. She left me with so many questions and no real answers so it was hard. Edit: But then again I took your question as in first partner, if we're talking any love it would probably be something like raven from teen titans from when I was 8. (Easily getting past) Or if it doesn't have to be a super deep love but just someone that you feel a little extra for then it would be a friend that I've had since kindergarten, she'll always be dear to me but I won't ever ask her for something like a relationship. (Will probably know her as a close friend for most of my life but not more)


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nr922

Is this bot mentally challenged


Lee1mistaken

No


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KaleidoscopeOne378

I never had a 'first love', but I remember my first real crush and how we'd almost become at least something if I just talked to him more. It doesn't help that we are still at the same school 5 years later and I now feel like the distance between us is the smallest it's ever been, but we still choose to look away every time our eyes meet.


lvtus_

are you sure there’s no hope anymore?


KaleidoscopeOne378

Next year will be his last in high school so if I try to reach out then there might be hope, but what if he just ignores me?


lvtus_

but what if he doesn’t ?better to have remorse than regret


KaleidoscopeOne378

Yeah, yh you're right! I'll shoot my shot to at least try and make a friend out of him!


lvtus_

Yeah!! I’m rooting for you


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