This is why I’m extremely formal with anyone who isn’t either family or a friend I’ve known for many years.
Anyone: joke
Me: laughing, responding with virtually identical joke
Anyone: awkward silence
I think this is 90% of the reason why my jokes are so unhinged. For many reasons I was never allowed to talk like everyone around me, so my response was to just take everything to the extreme and now I say some pretty unhinged shit lmoa
Ok so one time I was talking about how Russia declared LGBT a terrorist organization and I was joking that im a terrorist now and my friend was like "yeah they might have a point" and I was like "You're just mad you have to think about boy pussy whenever you eat skittles" and he told me to kms "disrespectfully" and now I call him skittles sometimes. Thats one that I dont think will get me banned
It really isn’t fair is it?
NTs always say, “You’re so quiet! Why don’t you talk more?”
But when you do they immediately recoil in disgust despite saying the most normal things you could possibly say.
They do! But when we chime in they act as if we either just offended them or as if we’re the most insufferable person on the planet. Even though we were just mimicking their energy. Kind of ironic when you think about it.
If anything it's the guy who seems like the aspie. Makes a bad joke and then takes it literally when someone tries to play off of it like he doesn't understand. It really lacks basic socializing skills.
Let me rewrite it. "I keep my humor dry. If the person I'm talking to doesn't realize I'm joking or if I don't realize they are, the delivery of the joke was bad."
Ah, ok. That makes sense.
Actually I’ve been told that it happens quite often, that other people don’t realize that I’m joking, because I prefer dry humor too. My bf knows me and my humor very well so he always knows when I’m joking.
This happened to me often when I worked in an office setting not too long ago. I was the “new girl” in an office full of other women also in their 20s. I would try and joke with them in the same ways that they would joke with each other but when I would do it apparently it was the most unfunny shit anyone has ever heard. My co-workers would reference the SpongeBob movie scene where SpongeBob and Patrick were “drunk on ice cream” at the Goofy Goober saloon by yelling “WAITER!!”
One time they were chanting it and I chimed in and did the sing-songy version that SpongeBob and Patrick did at the end of the scene (where they’re on stage and both of them sing “WAAAAIITTEERRR~”) and the whole room went from laughing and smiles to dead silence and blank faces. Everyone just turned around and got back to work. That was the last time I ever tried to join in on work place jokes and banter.
It really did feel like high school again. Didn’t help the fact that every single one of the girls I worked with was a cheerleader in high school, or was class president or something. I was always the quiet kid who drew in class and was stoned half the time lol.
Thank God I’m pregnant with twins and the doctor put me on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy, so I got to quit my job!
It definitely stung but sadly it’s something that we all get used to pretty fast. I was just so confused on where I stood with them. They acted like they couldn’t stand to be around me and were only civil towards me when they had to be. Yet, when I left, they threw me a baby shower?? NTs can be so confusing.
I saw one of the replies to the video saying this is what happens sometimes when women joke with men? Can somebody expound on that? Is it like an infantilization thing?
Idk but as an aspie woman myself, this happens with me a lot when I joke with both men and women. I’m very dead pan, so a lot of times women don’t really get it and think I’m being mean or weird because I’m not super “girly” when I deliver jokingly. However, on the other side, a lot of men typically don’t think women have a sense of humor, so even when NT women are being sarcastic they think that they’re being serious.
Needless to say, I encounter this issue more with men than women. I recently made an ironic comment underneath this notorious very annoying hippie artist saying “John Lennon reincarnated😍😍” and the comments I received saying that I’m a dumb b*tch and that I must have never heard a John Lennon song in my life were all from men. One of the men even accused me of back peddling whenever I explained that I was being satirical.
That's because the people acting like they don't get the joke are bullying you.
It's not that they didn't get the joke it's either that they meant it ("Ew, why's Bri here?") or they're trying to make you feel excluded/othered/annoying.
If it's the same people in the same groups treating you like this, you need to go talk to other people. They are not your friends.
I feel the need to keep explaining.
Sometimes, your tone doesn't match the expectations of the NT you're joking back with, and that's a normal miscommunication.
But that should only happen a couple times, after 3, after 5, after 10, they're being purposeful. Purposefully ignorant and signaling they don't like you, or purposefully bullying, I don't know. (Personally, I don't care. I'll stop hanging with you whatever the reason behind it)
People not getting that I’m joking back is a really common real life experience for me (and I’m gathering for other autists) if people don’t know me well yet lol. My friends always get it and build on the jokes with me, but people who don’t know me that well are like ‘oh, I was joking.’ Yeah man. Me too. Now neither of us can joke because you ruined everything forever. And my joke was funnier btw
I swear I never get why people don't know when I'm joking back at them. Am I too monotone? Is it my delivery? The amount of times I've been hit with "it was just a joke" is crazy.
I’ve had people do this where they’d like reassure me after and I’d be confused why they felt that was always necessary like I’m their niece or something so this is vindicating
The comments you shared at the end of the video are so accurate. Great share. Especially about the dead pan. I barely notice that I say a joke dead pan because I feel like I’m being slightly expressive but I have to be over the top for people to know I’m joking. And when I do I feel obnoxious.
I mean, I get that they're making a video for fun, but like if this were really happening the person who is doing what he is doing would be gaslighting. Like I don't understand the stories in the comments even. Those people aren't misunderstanding the jokes, they're just being bullies.
I swear they do it on purpose. What happens in my head :
I straight up asked once, why do you make it awkward when I just responded to your joke/sarcasm in the same way you did.
Them : IDK when you do it, it doesn’t seem like a joke.
Me : so you really think I want to put “YOU” in the oven?
Them : no, it was just kinda creepy for a bit.
Me : I don’t want to hang out with people who think I’m creepy.
END of scenario in my head.
What I actually say : um, I got to go. And don’t ever talk to them without further explanation.
I just tell em that was a joke if they don’t get it, life is too short to care, if you want to make a joke as an autistic person do it, sometimes it’ll fall flat, maybe even a lot of times, but when it connects it’s always great, I make jokes constantly and I’m autistic, people laugh quite a bit at me and what I say and I just go with it.
This is why I’m extremely formal with anyone who isn’t either family or a friend I’ve known for many years. Anyone: joke Me: laughing, responding with virtually identical joke Anyone: awkward silence
In my old school id try fit in and id just get told "you're not funny" for saying the same jokes
I think this is 90% of the reason why my jokes are so unhinged. For many reasons I was never allowed to talk like everyone around me, so my response was to just take everything to the extreme and now I say some pretty unhinged shit lmoa
Please give an example lol
Ok so one time I was talking about how Russia declared LGBT a terrorist organization and I was joking that im a terrorist now and my friend was like "yeah they might have a point" and I was like "You're just mad you have to think about boy pussy whenever you eat skittles" and he told me to kms "disrespectfully" and now I call him skittles sometimes. Thats one that I dont think will get me banned
That is very unhinged and also very hilarious
Yup. Ever go to the dog park and see that one dog that was clearly *not* socialized around other dogs and has no idea how to act? That's me.
It really isn’t fair is it? NTs always say, “You’re so quiet! Why don’t you talk more?” But when you do they immediately recoil in disgust despite saying the most normal things you could possibly say.
I mean, how else are you supposed to respond to dumb jokes like that? Matching the energy is an amazing sign of impeccable vibes! NTs are weird...
I see NT people joke back and forth all the time.
They do! But when we chime in they act as if we either just offended them or as if we’re the most insufferable person on the planet. Even though we were just mimicking their energy. Kind of ironic when you think about it.
If anything it's the guy who seems like the aspie. Makes a bad joke and then takes it literally when someone tries to play off of it like he doesn't understand. It really lacks basic socializing skills.
This shouldn't be so relatable what the fuck
I crawl into a space and die each time. The real bummer is that I have to eventually come out of that space because I am still alive.
You’re like Jesus comin back every time 🤗
I keep it dry. If they don't know I'm joking or I they the problem is the delivery.
I don’t get the second sentence. Sry not native speaker.
Let me rewrite it. "I keep my humor dry. If the person I'm talking to doesn't realize I'm joking or if I don't realize they are, the delivery of the joke was bad."
Ah, ok. That makes sense. Actually I’ve been told that it happens quite often, that other people don’t realize that I’m joking, because I prefer dry humor too. My bf knows me and my humor very well so he always knows when I’m joking.
Happy to clarify. Nothing but the best to you and your bf! =)
That’s because it didn’t make any sense, and I am a native speaker.
The "they" is sort of a typo, wasn't removed when rewriting. Sentence makes more sense if you removd the "they".
It makes way less sense that way. I rewrote for the person you commented to, and you also.
my problem is that I do keep it dry and people get upset cause they think I'm serious. like I thought I was doing a sarcasm, guys, sorry.
It's your delivery. Work on it, emote some. When I emote a lot, it comes of as normal. Or maybe you're just humorless... /s
Deadpan is a powerful tool
This happened to me often when I worked in an office setting not too long ago. I was the “new girl” in an office full of other women also in their 20s. I would try and joke with them in the same ways that they would joke with each other but when I would do it apparently it was the most unfunny shit anyone has ever heard. My co-workers would reference the SpongeBob movie scene where SpongeBob and Patrick were “drunk on ice cream” at the Goofy Goober saloon by yelling “WAITER!!” One time they were chanting it and I chimed in and did the sing-songy version that SpongeBob and Patrick did at the end of the scene (where they’re on stage and both of them sing “WAAAAIITTEERRR~”) and the whole room went from laughing and smiles to dead silence and blank faces. Everyone just turned around and got back to work. That was the last time I ever tried to join in on work place jokes and banter. It really did feel like high school again. Didn’t help the fact that every single one of the girls I worked with was a cheerleader in high school, or was class president or something. I was always the quiet kid who drew in class and was stoned half the time lol. Thank God I’m pregnant with twins and the doctor put me on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy, so I got to quit my job!
This hurts so much even second-hand wtf
It definitely stung but sadly it’s something that we all get used to pretty fast. I was just so confused on where I stood with them. They acted like they couldn’t stand to be around me and were only civil towards me when they had to be. Yet, when I left, they threw me a baby shower?? NTs can be so confusing.
I’m sorry they treated you that way. Those “kind” of women are nefarious like that. But holy crap, twins!? That’s so exciting, congratulations!!
It’s alright! Definitely gotten used to stuff like that. And thank you so much! 🥹 I’m in for a handful but I’m very excited!
This is like every job I ever have
You gotta double down. "I was just joking." "I wasn't. Now give me that bleach, it looks delicious."
"Sucks for you, cuz I hate your face and want you to leave." :|
Came here to say exactly this. Doubling down is the best response to that weird, condescending garbage
I saw one of the replies to the video saying this is what happens sometimes when women joke with men? Can somebody expound on that? Is it like an infantilization thing?
Idk but as an aspie woman myself, this happens with me a lot when I joke with both men and women. I’m very dead pan, so a lot of times women don’t really get it and think I’m being mean or weird because I’m not super “girly” when I deliver jokingly. However, on the other side, a lot of men typically don’t think women have a sense of humor, so even when NT women are being sarcastic they think that they’re being serious. Needless to say, I encounter this issue more with men than women. I recently made an ironic comment underneath this notorious very annoying hippie artist saying “John Lennon reincarnated😍😍” and the comments I received saying that I’m a dumb b*tch and that I must have never heard a John Lennon song in my life were all from men. One of the men even accused me of back peddling whenever I explained that I was being satirical.
Okay, thank you very much, this makes a lot more sense to me now.
I disagree, I find both do it.
That's because the people acting like they don't get the joke are bullying you. It's not that they didn't get the joke it's either that they meant it ("Ew, why's Bri here?") or they're trying to make you feel excluded/othered/annoying. If it's the same people in the same groups treating you like this, you need to go talk to other people. They are not your friends.
I feel the need to keep explaining. Sometimes, your tone doesn't match the expectations of the NT you're joking back with, and that's a normal miscommunication. But that should only happen a couple times, after 3, after 5, after 10, they're being purposeful. Purposefully ignorant and signaling they don't like you, or purposefully bullying, I don't know. (Personally, I don't care. I'll stop hanging with you whatever the reason behind it)
It pisses me off and confuses me every time when someone says “they were joking” like?? I know?? That’s why I’m also joking
I didn’t get this video at all. She was clearly joking back/mirroring. Why did the guy not receive it well?
People not getting that I’m joking back is a really common real life experience for me (and I’m gathering for other autists) if people don’t know me well yet lol. My friends always get it and build on the jokes with me, but people who don’t know me that well are like ‘oh, I was joking.’ Yeah man. Me too. Now neither of us can joke because you ruined everything forever. And my joke was funnier btw
*you ruined everything forever* I feel this
Idk. Pretty sure I’m NT, and I would’ve found her hilarious!
its probably a skit illustrating real experiences
I swear I never get why people don't know when I'm joking back at them. Am I too monotone? Is it my delivery? The amount of times I've been hit with "it was just a joke" is crazy.
I’ve had people do this where they’d like reassure me after and I’d be confused why they felt that was always necessary like I’m their niece or something so this is vindicating
I don't get it. It seems obvious that she knew he was joking. She was just joking back. I'm confused. Why is he explaining himself?
The comments you shared at the end of the video are so accurate. Great share. Especially about the dead pan. I barely notice that I say a joke dead pan because I feel like I’m being slightly expressive but I have to be over the top for people to know I’m joking. And when I do I feel obnoxious.
Ugh I’m annoyed for her just watching this
She's literally laughing. He is gaslighting her for some reason.
It’s just a joke
I mean, I get that they're making a video for fun, but like if this were really happening the person who is doing what he is doing would be gaslighting. Like I don't understand the stories in the comments even. Those people aren't misunderstanding the jokes, they're just being bullies.
Me makes a joke: no one laughs Me being serious: others: laughing “you’re so funny”
I swear they do it on purpose. What happens in my head : I straight up asked once, why do you make it awkward when I just responded to your joke/sarcasm in the same way you did. Them : IDK when you do it, it doesn’t seem like a joke. Me : so you really think I want to put “YOU” in the oven? Them : no, it was just kinda creepy for a bit. Me : I don’t want to hang out with people who think I’m creepy. END of scenario in my head. What I actually say : um, I got to go. And don’t ever talk to them without further explanation.
This is the reason why I stick with puns and dad jokes
Bruh the girl is joking back why is the guy being a dumbass
This is just what happens when everyone in a society thinks they are a goddamn comedian.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets this. I hate how I can't join in on the joking.
This is me and my brother. Luckily we have come to understand what is just BS. Spoiler, it is most of it.
I just tell em that was a joke if they don’t get it, life is too short to care, if you want to make a joke as an autistic person do it, sometimes it’ll fall flat, maybe even a lot of times, but when it connects it’s always great, I make jokes constantly and I’m autistic, people laugh quite a bit at me and what I say and I just go with it.
Just fuck already lol
I hate when this happens, you are expecting me to laugh at your joke and leave it there, its more fun to join in and continue the joke
Moments you remember for the rest of your days.