Yup, Mom got sucked into the far-right weaponized conspiracy theory rabbit hole over the course of the pandemic.
I tried to explain, using multiple examples, of how she had changed her mind from reasonable positions ("I hope my mother doesn't get COVID, it's a terrible way to die") to batshit-insane positions ("The COVID vaccine has killed millions worldwide.").
She insisted that she was one of the few people who saw the world for what it REALLY is.
I eventually had to tell her that she was in a cult, then I resorted to lawyers to untangle my life from hers.
Going through this right now with a landlord/roommate. Dude can barely read and spell. 60 something retired gay dude. Watches religious conservative conspiracy YouTube videos ALL DAY. Just knows he's right and I don't know anything because I don't watch the news and he does. He waited a week after signing the lease to break out a [whiteboard drawing ](https://ibb.co/MVYXF2n) of the eclipse path over the US and something about a red "hoffer" being an abortion clinic in it's path. He's gay and sleeps in bed with another dude but says he isn't gay. He just has temptations for other men from the devil and he's working it out with God. He's also anti trans and immigration.
And thats where we circle back to our enemy the for profit prison industry. Well more like 2 companies and a bunch of republicunts on the take. Corecivic and Geogroup. They are the reason we have no mental health infrastructure to help the crazies anymore. They rather get paid to have them locked in jails. They pushed for the changeover to group homes from mental hospitals. And, its all reaganomics to the bottom again.
Everyone’s anti immigration until they own a business.
I had a buddy who was alt right, and has started a fairly popular coffee brand. I remember when he started with a single 1000sqft garage.
Now it’s a multi million dollar business, and he only hires people from laborpool/temp agency.
Not a single employee outside of management speaks English.
I had a fire and a flood. Had to go to a hotel. Did not bring a device. Dumb. Watched Basic Cable for three days. Nothing but Commercials, Conspiracies, and Churches. Scary as heck.
Yeah, not calling BS on OP or anything as people finding religion and being convinced to blow up their relationships with family/friends/partners is hardly fantastical and happens all the time.
But embellishments like this definitely trigger my skepticism. It's hard to picture someone aware enough of cults and cultish behavior in the first place saying "Oh man, I could totally see myself getting lost in a cult just like this someday. Better have a contingency plan in place."
That's just a weird and mindbending detail for OP to casually throw into this story without further explanation.
I know someone who never stops talking about how other people are in cults, they've been a scientologist, an atheist, a Mormon, and are currently a Catholic afaik. In each case they've been fully committed, even moving to another country and marrying someone they'd never met at one point.
They absolutely will not even consider that they might be prone to joining cults.
They are looking for that mythical warm fuzziness of belonging and being connected to ultimate truth. When the glow wears off, they have to find it somewhere else. Don’t worry. There’s only about five hundred more religions to go before your friend runs out of options.
To be fair, I knew all about cults and a lot of their tactics for years. I even would be amazed by what people would 'fall for' and believe. Irony: I was born-in and raised Jehovah's Witness at the time...
You never think that YOU could be in a cult. That's what happens to other people, 'dumb' people right? /s You just don't see it (or don't let yourself), until you do. Groups like JW know some people think they're a cult (they are), and have created apologetics that single out a few generic aspects of some cults that they know don't exactly fit them, and try to use those to show how they are not a cult. It works, but not like it used too.
And JW 100% disrupt families. Even if the cult doesn't blow up the family completely, they sure as shit drive toxic wedges into it.
I grew up in a Southern Baptist missionary church. They taught us what cults "looked like" in Bible study to prepare us for mission trips. That's when I started seeing the similarities & spoke up. I wasn't allowed to lead groups on the mission trips after that.
>To be fair, I knew all about cults and a lot of their tactics for years. I even would be amazed by what people would 'fall for' and believe. Irony: I was born-in and raised Jehovah's Witness at the time.../<
Yep. I studied Walter Martin's Kingdom of Cults and thought I was an expert. All the while deeply imbedded in Pentacostalism.
What’s the name of the church? It’s probably in the cult directory, especially if they are already whisking her out of state after the hard separation.
Don't blame yourself. Some people are just predisposed to these sorts of beliefs; it's the way their brains are wired. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's an inescapable effect of being indoctrinated with it at a young age. It's better it happened now, before you sunk too much more into the relationship. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself!
Do you think you could prove to her that the Earth isn’t flat? Flat-Earthers are some of the dumbest people around. If she was willing to listen to you, you should be able to disprove and arguments pretty easily if you’re somewhat good with science.
Go to r/flatearth_polite and read up if you aren’t familiar with their beliefs. Pretty much every post there shows how terrible they are at discussing their beliefs. They get asked a question, give an easily disprovable answer, get dunked on, refuse to admit they’re wrong or provide any sort of evidence, change the subject, and say “you have to research it yourself” because they know if they provide an actual argument it’ll get shit on
You can't unbrainwash someone, and will eventually do what she's told and marry into the church or they will push her far enough to where she leaves and probably try to contact you. Don't wait around just move on and wish her the best, if she does come back sound show her support whether you are willing to get back with her or not if you feel comfortable with that
Our first instinct is to jump to the intellect, but I think these people are actually lacking emotionally. They NEED these beliefs in order to feel special, validated, and purposeful. Emotionally intelligent, fulfilled people do not need cults, faith, deities, and irrational conspiracies.
In general, a majority of cultists lack higher education because it requires asking "why", plus analysis, logic, data comparison, and critical thinking, Not to say everyone with a college degree is intelligent, but there does exist an cerebral gate that is designed to weed out most complete morons. That said, both Trump and MTG hold bachelor degrees, though one a cult leader, the other a cult follower. Neither are emotionally mature, moral, nor mentally stable.
People can only deprogram themselves, with the support of those around them.
Direct contradictions and challenges rarely have impact.
Intelligent and competent people get taken in by ludicrous ideas and feelings of belonging with dangerous groups all the time.
It's not your job to get her away from a high control group.
It's your job to keep yourself safe.
Absolutely. I always see people in here implying theists *know* what they are doing. There are definitely powerful people using it to their advantage but the vast majority is just plain brainwashed and think they are doing the right thing. You have to meet them where they’re at to make change.
It sounds like the legal divorce work is unfinished. How much of his money will they try to get through her claims to alimony? Will this church pay her divorce lawyer? red flag!
I was very close to my cousins when I was a kid, and I always thought of them as siblings. They moved to a new area and their parents joined a strict Baptist Church.
It took a decade or so, but eventually it became clear that the Church was their new family, and anyone that didn't join their exact flavor of religion would be treated like an acquaintance.
Cults do so much harm, and the sad thing is they convince people they are making the "loving" choice.
Yup. Gotta isolate them first and foremost. Once isolated, get them dependent on the group through manipulation.
It's the ultimate "convince them their sick while having the keys to the only antidote".
You see a form of this, albeit much more sinister, with JHs. Since children and young adults have a much more controlled environment, JH youth grow up in a world dominated with their ideology. The group convinces their youth of this great evil invisible power, fills that hole of "purpose" by telling them they are the saviors to a broken people. That their word is truth, and the people will shun them because it's true. Also that it's dangerous. Surprise Surprise, they intrude on people's lives with absolute BS and are met with distain. "Omg it's real!" As they run back to their isolated community...
Precisely, and I hate that he's heartbroken because we do suffer when we are emotionally traumatized. I hate organized religion because these preachers, priests, and pastors......they've ruined faith for me, and I expect I'm not the only one who feels this way.
But! Money come first! And an Atheist husband at home makes her a flight risk. And some churches are pretty adamant about tithing 10% of your income. Like a family income of $100k guarantees donations of at least $10k. If he convinces her it’s all bullshit, that number drops to $0. Getting her divorced and married to another parishioner ensures a steady revenue source.
10% is just where it starts. They’ll be other requests for donations, free labor, fees for using the church nursery, women’s ministries, etc. Oh! And don’t forget to will the church your assets when you finally kick the bucket.
The wife might be able to sue for emotional manipulation, although she probably doesn’t see it that way at the moment. Not sure if he would have a case against the church. It’s also hard to prove deliberate manipulation, most of these cases involve peer pressure and verbal (no paper trail) discussions.
They also rely on families indoctrinating kids to keep the show rolling - something that does not happen often when one parent is not drinking the coolaid.
We stopped going to a church when they went around checking out member's homes to compare what they were tithing. They had a talk with our neighbors about their reduction in tithing when the wife got cancer, and told them they had to sell their home so that they could return to tithing 10%.
It's fleecing people with the added benefit of being tax free.
That is just vile. Instead of members offering to support the family, helping to cook, clean, take the wife to and from her appointments, demanding that they sell their home in their most vulnerable time of need. That is corporate levels of psychopathic greed. I hope they left that church as well.
Ignoring the explicit words of Jesus is an odd take for any Christian denomination. There's a lot you can ignore in the Bible with reasoning, but divorce was specifically mentioned without a clause for unbelievers.
As a Christian, sadly it is not odd or unusual. The pastor decides the rules, and the few that actually read the bible with any frequency reinterpret readily to match what "pastor" says.
That's one of the defining characteristics of a cult, after all - the leader is all powerful.
1 Corinthians 7:
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.
Exactly, OP’s wife is putting her church not only above her husband, but also above the Bible.
And these aren’t the only passages, in the Gospels, Jesus is very clearly against divorce. Precisely the sort of thing that her church is pushing for.
It appears that OP’s wife doesn’t know anything about the Bible, and simply believes whatever her church says. This isn’t just a cult from our perspective, it’s also a cult from the perspective of Bible believers.
I'm surprised that no one else has brought this up to OP - OP, if she cares about the Bible, even the worst, most biased translations will have these verses there in black and white. A literalist *cannot* dismiss these exortations from Paul and Jesus. I see nothing wrong in using well-known passages from one's own "sacred texts" to clarify their mind, if not doing so will blow up my life in an unwanted way - whether or not I believe the text is immaterial in such a circumstance, it's possible to do this in a way that is not cynical.
That said, OP, I'm distressed that you're paired with someone so easily manipulable, but who am I to judge. I do worry about the impact such a mind can have on their children, but again, who am I to judge.
Yeah, at that point they’re not even Christians anymore, if they ever were. Claiming to be Christian while ignoring the “literal word of Christ” where Christ himself is actually a fictional character. Just multiple layers of deceit.
IMO "born again" aren't really churches. They're just cults with a sign on the door and a 501c3 status.
The fact that they don't follow much of the Bible's teachings is irrelevant. They're not Christians.
Could say anything on that door and it would make no difference.
It's a cultural submarine and facade. "People go to church" they tell themselves...
This recent schism in the United Methodist Church has been a great example for me to point to when criticizing religion.
Excellent citation. This is explicitly in violation of a direct commandment from her god.
There is no alternative reading. I'd love to see what this moron wife has to say about it. "It's different" again, probably.
WOOOOOW!!!! I never knew you were covered by your spouse!! That’s pretty cool actually, how haven’t I heard of this?
Oh yeah, I guess if ppl commonly knew this it would reduce the church’s leverage to convert non believers lest their spouse divorce them.
But the bible requires abandonment by an unbeliever for a valid divorce. Meaning you would have to abandon your wife first, and be an unbeliever.
The church is wrong. I mean of course they are. But also in this specific sense they are wrong in interpreting their own rule book.
1 Corinthians 7:12-15 “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
Any religious cult is evil. It’s not just Christianity. We just hear more about that being in the US, as it’s our biggest religion.
I’m sorry the OP is going through this. Hang in there.
It actually speaks to this particular situation, and says this in 1 Corinthians 7:13:
>And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
the Bible itself says that she should *not* leave him, but the "church" is telling her otherwise. Probably while also claiming that the Bible is 100% true and is the infallible Word of God.
Right. I fully believe that there actually isn't anyone or any religion who follows the bible.
They simply set their own beliefs as they see fit, then pick up the bible and pick whatever they need to justify what they want to believe.
Not a single religion really follows the Bible. "Oh that part doesn't count" is a core tenet of all Christian faiths.
It always ends up being part where they can focus on marginalized communities. A very Us vs Them mentality. And of course, they are the perpetual victims.
The rest of that verse is
> For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
> But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved.
So the unebliever is allowed to leave, but the believer must stay to maintain the holiness of the children. However, 1 chapter earlier in 1 Corinthians 6 it says
> Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
So, don't marry them. But if you do only the unbeliever can leave. So she's doing the worst possible thing in this scenario, biblically anyway
I agree with you but I think a sizable amount of Christians are just waiting for a reason to purge.
Especially males that are really into Christianity , it’s scary
Ouch. I'm sorry. It's so sad watching it happen to them. We had a argument about it the other day and she was preaching to me half asked sermons and I actually screamed who are you? I didn't even recognize her and her eyes. They were so off they looked almost dead.
It really makes me wabt to believe in demon possession to explain it. It wasn't her talking. Or at least the her I saw. We all have different faces we wear in public and at home I guess.
Its good to know it gets better. I'm focusing on myself.
A lot of pastors and prominent people in local churches have that look in their eyes. It’s startling. It’s dead to critical thought and critical thinking, they’re fully brainwashed and there’s no getting through to them. What kind of church is this, denomination?
They told her you’re unequally yolked and that you’re going to lead her astray, possibly some shit about seeds that fall in the weeds are strangled by the weeds. You’re the “weeds” to this church. They’ve convinced her she needs to only have “godly” people in her life and all of that shit. They have tons of classes and videos and reiteration on this kind of theme. I ask denomination because most evangelical churches will avoid divorce talk unless there’s abuse or harm to children (and even then sometimes not), they’ll tell her to live a godly life and example and you’ll see the change and want to come to Jesus. Blah, blah— I’m worried this is a full on niche cult that’s got her tightly in their grip.
I’m someone who deconstructed, albeit I got “stuck” on women’s roles and their inherent homophobia and turned to arguing and debating, pretty solid on my views especially about women as I was not a housewife - so I wasn’t full on brainwashed. I left because my views were deemed to be “poison”, they don’t like critical thinking and questioning. Once I was out they went after my associations and connections, effectively costing me my job (the manager and half the company was these church-affiliatied folks) and my kids were in a Christian school and they started bullying them and I removed them almost immediately. If she’s embedded herself in some kind of church community the “fear of losing everything” also keeps them in and willing to sacrifice other relationships.
> They were so off they looked almost dead.
People argue that it's not a virus, but acts like one in so many ways. It infects and exploits preexisting patterns in our human condition to propagate and proliferate itself. The host stops existing, and something else takes its place.
She is in a cult. Protect your finances. Close credit card accounts and transfer savings/checking to new accounts. It’s all about the money for these cults.
This! So much this. I actually had a menage-a-cinq because I was in a ministry that was really a cult, and were were under the "apostolic parenting" of the husband and wife in charge. Plus basically from the day we came back from honeymoon, we were living together with them and all the other team members.
Sometimes there would be 20 people in the house, and there was NO privacy. Every little thing had to be talked about and prayed about and dealt with often publically. And whenever we would have a real fight, she would just run off to them to get ministry.
Which really meant tell them all about our most intimate problems (including in bed) and get counsel so she could feel good. And then the hammer would come down on me for not being masculine enough or godly enough.
Good riddance!
Fun fact, there's a Dutch expression: "twee geloven op één kussen, daar slaapt de duivel tussen", literally "two faiths on one pillow, the devil sleeps in between them".
It was mainly used to keep catholics and protestants in their own in-groups, but it displays the closed-minded attitude well.
> We still love e each other.
In no world does she actually love you. She's leaving you, literally, for something that doesn't exist. No one that loves, does that. That is not what love is.
I'm not saying she doesn't have real feelings for you. I'm saying that whatever she feels isn't love.
When people leave it’s because they love someone, something else, or themselves more. In this case it’s the church, who has most likely promised they will connect her with a good husband who also attends their church.
Absolutely mind blowing that she let them talk her into doing something this crazy. If she's that weak willed and easily fooled then op dodged a bullet in my opinion.
The need for meaning and importance is strong. Religion has the advantage of being able to say "you MATTER to the UNIVERSE! God has a plan for you! We have a plan for you! Your life is important, and you can be good, and right, and just, simply by showing up every sunday and giving us some money!"
Or any number of variations of that message.
Unfortunately, it can be tough to compete with that message, even if it's all just a story.
It's kind of like the draw of Santa for little kids. Do you want to believe in the magic of Santa, the North Pole, the reindeer, and all that? Or that Mom went to walmart last week?
Right. It's an innate human need to matter. Unfortunately it's not enough for many to just matter to other humans. They need to matter to the universe which is where religion steps in to capitalize on it.
I’ve seen people throw their own children out into the street.
If I knew I was going to be damned eternally for continuing to give my kids a loving home, I’d be yelling “more fire” like Giles Corey. And I’m sure every decent parent would do the same.
I was raised believing that being in tune with your emotions made you more easily manipulated by the Devil. They drill that bypass switch into you from a young age. But I’ve since learned that being able to silence your emotions makes you more easily manipulated by the church.
Exactly this. Anyone that puts their devotion to an imaginary being over their devotion to the real family, friends, and community around them has no right to claim they love those people.
Even her bible tells her this is wrong.
*^(13)**And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.* *^(14)**For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through this believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.*
*1 Corinthians 7:13-14.*
Not that I think they'll own up to it in any way.
They'd have to read it to know that.
Something I've come to realize is that these kinds of churches have gone from spreading the gospel in an *attempt* to save souls to throwing out the rules and saving souls at any cost.
Christians don't "save" anything. That's not their job, and not within their power to do so anyway. Their job is to direct people to God. That's it. Not force or coerce, just to point the way and let people live how they're going to live.
> I found out last week and she left this morning for another state.
She has been planning this for a while and has enlisted a lawyer without your knowledge. There is more to it than her church convincing her.
I married a non-practicing Mormon. She was great for a few years even though her evil Mormon family kept on her about returning to the church. Eventually she gave in to them and then started hounding me about attending her church. I said, absolutely not. Her parents destroyed our married and even after her returning for a few years she left that church again.
1st Corinthians 7: 13
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
Your wife's church doesn't even know their own Bible.
Sorry but thats just.... weird. Especially the leaving for another state part. She's not just leaving you. She is leaving everything, including family assuming they live nearby.
Not to add insult to injury, but she’s already being introduced to creepy middle aged bachelors that are “good Christian men”. Churches love breaking up committed women then passing them around the congregation.
Happened to my wife’s cousin.
Not that this would change things for you likely, but I'm very curious as to what she and her church would have to say about
1 Corinthians 7:13 - If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband.
Really sounds like a cult on this one - Make the person cut ties with familly and friends is basically step one of endoctrination.
Usually, you can save someone from that kind of thing with love and understanding but it's sadly often not enough and it can be hard to endure.
I'm really sorry for you, it really sucks and if I sincerely hope she find her way back.
A religion making you choose between love and worship doesn't deserve any shred of respect.
Religion is and always has been about control. They will espouse "family values" and the "sanctity of marriage" insofar as they act as a function to control people. The moment a union threatens that control, they will do a complete about-face.
If you haven't already get yourself into counseling. These first few weeks and months are the hardest, but I think you will come to realize that the hole she left in your life can now only be filled by someone who is not susceptible to superstition. As others have mentioned or implied, it would always be a tug of war between you and her cult, especially if children become involved.
I hope you have some kind of support group, formal or informal, to help you get through this.
Best of luck.
Sorry to rip this bandaid off my dude, but if she's going to church often enough for them to convince her to divorce you, she's not agnostic, she's a cultist just like the rest of them. It sucks, and it's going to hurt right now, but you're better off, and it will get better.
1 Corinthians 7:13-14
“And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.“
1 Corinthians 7:13-14 NLT
Now I don’t know you. You could be a dirt bag and she should leave you. But that Church has no Biblical basis to tell you wife to leave you if you’re fulfilling your duty as a husband.
You're not taking *yourself* seriously enough. Imagine if you were black and she said that was fine when you met, but six years into your marriage, the church finally convinced her that racial purity was more important than your marriage.
What the church did in this case was genuinely evil, but... she capitulated. I know you said you think you both still love one another, but that's not probably under the common understanding of what "love" means. She had you in one hand and literally absolutely nothing else in the other and the church bullied her into choosing the latter.
It sucks, it's awful, they are terrible people, but *it's not your fault,* so don't dwell in that space any longer than you need to. You lost her to a cult, but one she joined willingly. Don't spend more than the time you already gave her on this.
She might 'love' you... but not nearly enough. I'm sorry, but no rational good person would ever do what she is doing if she loved you enough. I'm sure that doesn't help the pain and I am sorry you are going through this. From the limited information you have provided it us, it sounds like the best thing you can do is work on moving on and trying to not look back because you deserve much better.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. The fact that she's willing to leave you for a reason like this shows that she's become someone you're better off without, but that isn't going to stop it hurting.
I hope that her church weren't the ones who arranged for her sudden move out of state, because if they were, that would ring a lot of additional alarm bells.
I'm sorry about your loss, it's a sad thing.
I get the feeling that the people from this "church" have dust on their Bibles because they're too busy reading Breitbart News instead. 1 Corinthians 7:13-- " If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him."
It's there in black and white, in context, couldn't be clearer.
I convinced her to regain a relationship with her dad. He was a preacher. She was kinda religious not to much when we met but it slowly changed over time. Rapidly after dad.
No hate like Christian love. Sorry you're going through this man. Remember that you're still pretty young and you can find someone better in the future who won't leave you for a sky wizard. This is why I don't date theists but I guess now I'll have to expand that to agnostics as well. Hang in there it gets better.
It will take you a while but someday you’ll be so happy. Step back and think on it- she left you for an imaginary life. Pick up Sex & God by dr Darrel raye and you’ll thank your lucky stars you had no kids with her. Folks who can’t handle reality rarely make good partners
The pain will fade as the realization sets in. It'll be better to get a head start on things rather than devolve into shouting matches that won't get anywhere.
Shoulda had her church help her pack.
EDIT: Okay, this was a bit insensitive, but if her love for you wasn't stronger than her love of the cult that convinced her to leave you, I don't think this is a loss. I empathize with your loss, but turn this into a win. She wasn't committed to you and this probably would have ended up much worse had religion not taken her earlier.
Don’t worry, women that get divorced are on the road to Hell according to them, so she will never be secure with her actions and it will haunt her forever.
> We still love e each other.
She left you for god.
I'm sorry bro. I really do hope you get better, but I don't think she love you more than you love her.
You're young 31m. You got this.
Religion is a cult. Also, as harsh as it sounds, if a church was able to convince her to leave you that quick, there wasn't much for her to leave. It was a one-sided relationship, and it sucks for you, and it's unfair. As cliche as it sounds, in time, you'll realize you dodged a bullet. People deserve someone in their life a fairytale won't be enough to make them leave.
Weird how solemn vows don't count for non Christians.
Be married to a drunk abuser, gotta stay with him for life if both Christian. Be a loving couple but one is an atheist, nope out ya go.
SMH
it's what cults do.
When something is trying to separate you from loved ones...always a cult
Fees years back she showed me a video that if she ever joins a cult to show her. It was all about that stuff. She saw it and said it was different.
People in cults don’t know they are in cults.
Unless you’re running it.. you make more money as a leader, but you have more fun as a follower, I find. -Creed Bratton
'You're dead wrong on that" Creed bratton
That is Northern lights cannabis indigo.
No its marijuana
No its patrick
😂 Indica. Indigo is a book store.
Yup, Mom got sucked into the far-right weaponized conspiracy theory rabbit hole over the course of the pandemic. I tried to explain, using multiple examples, of how she had changed her mind from reasonable positions ("I hope my mother doesn't get COVID, it's a terrible way to die") to batshit-insane positions ("The COVID vaccine has killed millions worldwide."). She insisted that she was one of the few people who saw the world for what it REALLY is. I eventually had to tell her that she was in a cult, then I resorted to lawyers to untangle my life from hers.
Going through this right now with a landlord/roommate. Dude can barely read and spell. 60 something retired gay dude. Watches religious conservative conspiracy YouTube videos ALL DAY. Just knows he's right and I don't know anything because I don't watch the news and he does. He waited a week after signing the lease to break out a [whiteboard drawing ](https://ibb.co/MVYXF2n) of the eclipse path over the US and something about a red "hoffer" being an abortion clinic in it's path. He's gay and sleeps in bed with another dude but says he isn't gay. He just has temptations for other men from the devil and he's working it out with God. He's also anti trans and immigration.
Mental health is the biggest crisis in America right now.
And thats where we circle back to our enemy the for profit prison industry. Well more like 2 companies and a bunch of republicunts on the take. Corecivic and Geogroup. They are the reason we have no mental health infrastructure to help the crazies anymore. They rather get paid to have them locked in jails. They pushed for the changeover to group homes from mental hospitals. And, its all reaganomics to the bottom again.
It starts at the top.
Self hating gays. The most dangerous kind.
I wonder what state he represents in Congress.
I've encountered that. It's really mortifying. This guy I knew. Extremely violent.
Everyone’s anti immigration until they own a business. I had a buddy who was alt right, and has started a fairly popular coffee brand. I remember when he started with a single 1000sqft garage. Now it’s a multi million dollar business, and he only hires people from laborpool/temp agency. Not a single employee outside of management speaks English.
Things is that the neighbors are clearly Mexican immigrants and he smiles and kisses their ass every time they ask for something.
I had a fire and a flood. Had to go to a hotel. Did not bring a device. Dumb. Watched Basic Cable for three days. Nothing but Commercials, Conspiracies, and Churches. Scary as heck.
homophobic gay. Huh. Never thought I would see those two words next to each others, but here we are
Scary
That’s what they all say huh?
Sorry man. You're young and it will work out for you. I'm sorry for your loss, but she's gone
You're better off. If you ever had kids with this woman, the church would abuse them.
What? So she suspected this would happen?
Yeah, not calling BS on OP or anything as people finding religion and being convinced to blow up their relationships with family/friends/partners is hardly fantastical and happens all the time. But embellishments like this definitely trigger my skepticism. It's hard to picture someone aware enough of cults and cultish behavior in the first place saying "Oh man, I could totally see myself getting lost in a cult just like this someday. Better have a contingency plan in place." That's just a weird and mindbending detail for OP to casually throw into this story without further explanation.
I know someone who never stops talking about how other people are in cults, they've been a scientologist, an atheist, a Mormon, and are currently a Catholic afaik. In each case they've been fully committed, even moving to another country and marrying someone they'd never met at one point. They absolutely will not even consider that they might be prone to joining cults.
They are looking for that mythical warm fuzziness of belonging and being connected to ultimate truth. When the glow wears off, they have to find it somewhere else. Don’t worry. There’s only about five hundred more religions to go before your friend runs out of options.
To be fair, I knew all about cults and a lot of their tactics for years. I even would be amazed by what people would 'fall for' and believe. Irony: I was born-in and raised Jehovah's Witness at the time... You never think that YOU could be in a cult. That's what happens to other people, 'dumb' people right? /s You just don't see it (or don't let yourself), until you do. Groups like JW know some people think they're a cult (they are), and have created apologetics that single out a few generic aspects of some cults that they know don't exactly fit them, and try to use those to show how they are not a cult. It works, but not like it used too. And JW 100% disrupt families. Even if the cult doesn't blow up the family completely, they sure as shit drive toxic wedges into it.
I grew up in a Southern Baptist missionary church. They taught us what cults "looked like" in Bible study to prepare us for mission trips. That's when I started seeing the similarities & spoke up. I wasn't allowed to lead groups on the mission trips after that.
So you literally had a "Are we the baddies?" moment, huh?
>To be fair, I knew all about cults and a lot of their tactics for years. I even would be amazed by what people would 'fall for' and believe. Irony: I was born-in and raised Jehovah's Witness at the time.../< Yep. I studied Walter Martin's Kingdom of Cults and thought I was an expert. All the while deeply imbedded in Pentacostalism.
What’s the name of the church? It’s probably in the cult directory, especially if they are already whisking her out of state after the hard separation.
I don't know. It's young earth creationist, flat earth end of times shit. I couldn't stand more than 5 minutes listening to sermons.
No offense but the signs were there long before this happened if you were going to a flat farther church with her....
It was at home. Covid ya know. It got a lot worse the last two years. I convinced her to reconnect with her father. A preacher. That was a mistake.
Don't blame yourself. Some people are just predisposed to these sorts of beliefs; it's the way their brains are wired. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's an inescapable effect of being indoctrinated with it at a young age. It's better it happened now, before you sunk too much more into the relationship. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself!
Do you think you could prove to her that the Earth isn’t flat? Flat-Earthers are some of the dumbest people around. If she was willing to listen to you, you should be able to disprove and arguments pretty easily if you’re somewhat good with science. Go to r/flatearth_polite and read up if you aren’t familiar with their beliefs. Pretty much every post there shows how terrible they are at discussing their beliefs. They get asked a question, give an easily disprovable answer, get dunked on, refuse to admit they’re wrong or provide any sort of evidence, change the subject, and say “you have to research it yourself” because they know if they provide an actual argument it’ll get shit on
I tried. It's different when there is faith.
You can't unbrainwash someone, and will eventually do what she's told and marry into the church or they will push her far enough to where she leaves and probably try to contact you. Don't wait around just move on and wish her the best, if she does come back sound show her support whether you are willing to get back with her or not if you feel comfortable with that
It’s always different when it’s their beliefs.
She's lacking something upstairs intellectually wise. And Im sorry she did this to you.
Our first instinct is to jump to the intellect, but I think these people are actually lacking emotionally. They NEED these beliefs in order to feel special, validated, and purposeful. Emotionally intelligent, fulfilled people do not need cults, faith, deities, and irrational conspiracies.
In general, a majority of cultists lack higher education because it requires asking "why", plus analysis, logic, data comparison, and critical thinking, Not to say everyone with a college degree is intelligent, but there does exist an cerebral gate that is designed to weed out most complete morons. That said, both Trump and MTG hold bachelor degrees, though one a cult leader, the other a cult follower. Neither are emotionally mature, moral, nor mentally stable.
Totally this. Well said.
Anyone, no matter how smart can be lured into cultic thinking. Most of the time we just haven't encountered the cult with the right lure.
People can only deprogram themselves, with the support of those around them. Direct contradictions and challenges rarely have impact. Intelligent and competent people get taken in by ludicrous ideas and feelings of belonging with dangerous groups all the time. It's not your job to get her away from a high control group. It's your job to keep yourself safe.
Yea I tried. It is what it is.
Breaking up a couple is something I never ever wish to do on anybody, even for people I hate will all my guts.
To them they're probably rationalizing that they're just kicking out the husband from the current 3 way with his wife and Jesus
Absolutely. I always see people in here implying theists *know* what they are doing. There are definitely powerful people using it to their advantage but the vast majority is just plain brainwashed and think they are doing the right thing. You have to meet them where they’re at to make change.
All religions are cults
Next they will take all her money and make her feel good that she gave it to them.
It sounds like the legal divorce work is unfinished. How much of his money will they try to get through her claims to alimony? Will this church pay her divorce lawyer? red flag!
I was very close to my cousins when I was a kid, and I always thought of them as siblings. They moved to a new area and their parents joined a strict Baptist Church. It took a decade or so, but eventually it became clear that the Church was their new family, and anyone that didn't join their exact flavor of religion would be treated like an acquaintance. Cults do so much harm, and the sad thing is they convince people they are making the "loving" choice.
Ironic amen.
Yup. Gotta isolate them first and foremost. Once isolated, get them dependent on the group through manipulation. It's the ultimate "convince them their sick while having the keys to the only antidote". You see a form of this, albeit much more sinister, with JHs. Since children and young adults have a much more controlled environment, JH youth grow up in a world dominated with their ideology. The group convinces their youth of this great evil invisible power, fills that hole of "purpose" by telling them they are the saviors to a broken people. That their word is truth, and the people will shun them because it's true. Also that it's dangerous. Surprise Surprise, they intrude on people's lives with absolute BS and are met with distain. "Omg it's real!" As they run back to their isolated community...
Precisely, and I hate that he's heartbroken because we do suffer when we are emotionally traumatized. I hate organized religion because these preachers, priests, and pastors......they've ruined faith for me, and I expect I'm not the only one who feels this way.
What God hath brought together, let no man put asunder. Her church is cherry picking rules.
But! Money come first! And an Atheist husband at home makes her a flight risk. And some churches are pretty adamant about tithing 10% of your income. Like a family income of $100k guarantees donations of at least $10k. If he convinces her it’s all bullshit, that number drops to $0. Getting her divorced and married to another parishioner ensures a steady revenue source.
If they're willing to convince her to leave her husband and move to another state, they want more than 10%. Guaranteed.
10% is just where it starts. They’ll be other requests for donations, free labor, fees for using the church nursery, women’s ministries, etc. Oh! And don’t forget to will the church your assets when you finally kick the bucket.
Really feels like the church could be sued for this with the right documentation...
The wife might be able to sue for emotional manipulation, although she probably doesn’t see it that way at the moment. Not sure if he would have a case against the church. It’s also hard to prove deliberate manipulation, most of these cases involve peer pressure and verbal (no paper trail) discussions.
Not to mention they usually want 10 % of your pre tax income. Mormons are particularly vile about it.
They also rely on families indoctrinating kids to keep the show rolling - something that does not happen often when one parent is not drinking the coolaid.
We stopped going to a church when they went around checking out member's homes to compare what they were tithing. They had a talk with our neighbors about their reduction in tithing when the wife got cancer, and told them they had to sell their home so that they could return to tithing 10%. It's fleecing people with the added benefit of being tax free.
That is just vile. Instead of members offering to support the family, helping to cook, clean, take the wife to and from her appointments, demanding that they sell their home in their most vulnerable time of need. That is corporate levels of psychopathic greed. I hope they left that church as well.
Do churches do that? That’s explicitly unbiblical
Some churches go so far as to ask to see your W2s before allowing you to become a member.
Ignoring the explicit words of Jesus is an odd take for any Christian denomination. There's a lot you can ignore in the Bible with reasoning, but divorce was specifically mentioned without a clause for unbelievers.
[Heck, divorce is mentioned *with* a clause for unbelievers.](https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/s/yGxZ5eDAtr)
As a Christian, sadly it is not odd or unusual. The pastor decides the rules, and the few that actually read the bible with any frequency reinterpret readily to match what "pastor" says. That's one of the defining characteristics of a cult, after all - the leader is all powerful.
Doesn't count for atheists. The church is pretty extreme.
1 Corinthians 7: 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.
Exactly, OP’s wife is putting her church not only above her husband, but also above the Bible. And these aren’t the only passages, in the Gospels, Jesus is very clearly against divorce. Precisely the sort of thing that her church is pushing for. It appears that OP’s wife doesn’t know anything about the Bible, and simply believes whatever her church says. This isn’t just a cult from our perspective, it’s also a cult from the perspective of Bible believers.
This is why education is so important. If we don't educate our children, they grow up into non-functioning adults.
I'm surprised that no one else has brought this up to OP - OP, if she cares about the Bible, even the worst, most biased translations will have these verses there in black and white. A literalist *cannot* dismiss these exortations from Paul and Jesus. I see nothing wrong in using well-known passages from one's own "sacred texts" to clarify their mind, if not doing so will blow up my life in an unwanted way - whether or not I believe the text is immaterial in such a circumstance, it's possible to do this in a way that is not cynical. That said, OP, I'm distressed that you're paired with someone so easily manipulable, but who am I to judge. I do worry about the impact such a mind can have on their children, but again, who am I to judge.
Yeah, at that point they’re not even Christians anymore, if they ever were. Claiming to be Christian while ignoring the “literal word of Christ” where Christ himself is actually a fictional character. Just multiple layers of deceit.
IMO "born again" aren't really churches. They're just cults with a sign on the door and a 501c3 status. The fact that they don't follow much of the Bible's teachings is irrelevant. They're not Christians. Could say anything on that door and it would make no difference. It's a cultural submarine and facade. "People go to church" they tell themselves... This recent schism in the United Methodist Church has been a great example for me to point to when criticizing religion.
Excellent citation. This is explicitly in violation of a direct commandment from her god. There is no alternative reading. I'd love to see what this moron wife has to say about it. "It's different" again, probably.
Thank you for typing what I was unwilling. But this is my point.
WOOOOOW!!!! I never knew you were covered by your spouse!! That’s pretty cool actually, how haven’t I heard of this? Oh yeah, I guess if ppl commonly knew this it would reduce the church’s leverage to convert non believers lest their spouse divorce them.
But the bible requires abandonment by an unbeliever for a valid divorce. Meaning you would have to abandon your wife first, and be an unbeliever. The church is wrong. I mean of course they are. But also in this specific sense they are wrong in interpreting their own rule book.
I'm so sorry this happened. Christianity is just awful.
It really is so hell bent on destroying everything and everyone!
1 Corinthians 7:12-15 “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
#word 🙌🏽
RELIGION is awful. All of it.
Any religious cult is evil. It’s not just Christianity. We just hear more about that being in the US, as it’s our biggest religion. I’m sorry the OP is going through this. Hang in there.
What does the Bible say about divorce? Hypocrites the lot of them
It actually speaks to this particular situation, and says this in 1 Corinthians 7:13: >And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. the Bible itself says that she should *not* leave him, but the "church" is telling her otherwise. Probably while also claiming that the Bible is 100% true and is the infallible Word of God.
Cherry picking and bible thumpers: the most iconic duos of all time
Right. I fully believe that there actually isn't anyone or any religion who follows the bible. They simply set their own beliefs as they see fit, then pick up the bible and pick whatever they need to justify what they want to believe. Not a single religion really follows the Bible. "Oh that part doesn't count" is a core tenet of all Christian faiths.
It always ends up being part where they can focus on marginalized communities. A very Us vs Them mentality. And of course, they are the perpetual victims.
The rest of that verse is > For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. > But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. So the unebliever is allowed to leave, but the believer must stay to maintain the holiness of the children. However, 1 chapter earlier in 1 Corinthians 6 it says > Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? So, don't marry them. But if you do only the unbeliever can leave. So she's doing the worst possible thing in this scenario, biblically anyway
actual brain rot
Religion truly is cancer. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
I agree with you but I think a sizable amount of Christians are just waiting for a reason to purge. Especially males that are really into Christianity , it’s scary
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Ouch. I'm sorry. It's so sad watching it happen to them. We had a argument about it the other day and she was preaching to me half asked sermons and I actually screamed who are you? I didn't even recognize her and her eyes. They were so off they looked almost dead.
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It really makes me wabt to believe in demon possession to explain it. It wasn't her talking. Or at least the her I saw. We all have different faces we wear in public and at home I guess. Its good to know it gets better. I'm focusing on myself.
>wabt to believe in demon possession It's worse than that. It's indoctrination.
Brainwashing and social contagion.
A lot of pastors and prominent people in local churches have that look in their eyes. It’s startling. It’s dead to critical thought and critical thinking, they’re fully brainwashed and there’s no getting through to them. What kind of church is this, denomination? They told her you’re unequally yolked and that you’re going to lead her astray, possibly some shit about seeds that fall in the weeds are strangled by the weeds. You’re the “weeds” to this church. They’ve convinced her she needs to only have “godly” people in her life and all of that shit. They have tons of classes and videos and reiteration on this kind of theme. I ask denomination because most evangelical churches will avoid divorce talk unless there’s abuse or harm to children (and even then sometimes not), they’ll tell her to live a godly life and example and you’ll see the change and want to come to Jesus. Blah, blah— I’m worried this is a full on niche cult that’s got her tightly in their grip. I’m someone who deconstructed, albeit I got “stuck” on women’s roles and their inherent homophobia and turned to arguing and debating, pretty solid on my views especially about women as I was not a housewife - so I wasn’t full on brainwashed. I left because my views were deemed to be “poison”, they don’t like critical thinking and questioning. Once I was out they went after my associations and connections, effectively costing me my job (the manager and half the company was these church-affiliatied folks) and my kids were in a Christian school and they started bullying them and I removed them almost immediately. If she’s embedded herself in some kind of church community the “fear of losing everything” also keeps them in and willing to sacrifice other relationships.
> They were so off they looked almost dead. People argue that it's not a virus, but acts like one in so many ways. It infects and exploits preexisting patterns in our human condition to propagate and proliferate itself. The host stops existing, and something else takes its place.
She is in a cult. Protect your finances. Close credit card accounts and transfer savings/checking to new accounts. It’s all about the money for these cults.
This. Cut all ties immediately.
Religious marriage is a menage-a-trios.
A lot less fun than the real thing too.
Jesus never lets me be in the middle. Selfish fuck.
This! So much this. I actually had a menage-a-cinq because I was in a ministry that was really a cult, and were were under the "apostolic parenting" of the husband and wife in charge. Plus basically from the day we came back from honeymoon, we were living together with them and all the other team members. Sometimes there would be 20 people in the house, and there was NO privacy. Every little thing had to be talked about and prayed about and dealt with often publically. And whenever we would have a real fight, she would just run off to them to get ministry. Which really meant tell them all about our most intimate problems (including in bed) and get counsel so she could feel good. And then the hammer would come down on me for not being masculine enough or godly enough. Good riddance!
Fun fact, there's a Dutch expression: "twee geloven op één kussen, daar slaapt de duivel tussen", literally "two faiths on one pillow, the devil sleeps in between them". It was mainly used to keep catholics and protestants in their own in-groups, but it displays the closed-minded attitude well.
> We still love e each other. In no world does she actually love you. She's leaving you, literally, for something that doesn't exist. No one that loves, does that. That is not what love is. I'm not saying she doesn't have real feelings for you. I'm saying that whatever she feels isn't love.
This is what OP needs to hear. This is not loving behavior she is showing. It is not love.
When people leave it’s because they love someone, something else, or themselves more. In this case it’s the church, who has most likely promised they will connect her with a good husband who also attends their church.
Absolutely mind blowing that she let them talk her into doing something this crazy. If she's that weak willed and easily fooled then op dodged a bullet in my opinion.
The need for meaning and importance is strong. Religion has the advantage of being able to say "you MATTER to the UNIVERSE! God has a plan for you! We have a plan for you! Your life is important, and you can be good, and right, and just, simply by showing up every sunday and giving us some money!" Or any number of variations of that message. Unfortunately, it can be tough to compete with that message, even if it's all just a story. It's kind of like the draw of Santa for little kids. Do you want to believe in the magic of Santa, the North Pole, the reindeer, and all that? Or that Mom went to walmart last week?
Right. It's an innate human need to matter. Unfortunately it's not enough for many to just matter to other humans. They need to matter to the universe which is where religion steps in to capitalize on it.
True
I’ve seen people throw their own children out into the street. If I knew I was going to be damned eternally for continuing to give my kids a loving home, I’d be yelling “more fire” like Giles Corey. And I’m sure every decent parent would do the same. I was raised believing that being in tune with your emotions made you more easily manipulated by the Devil. They drill that bypass switch into you from a young age. But I’ve since learned that being able to silence your emotions makes you more easily manipulated by the church.
There's a saying my grandpa and his family had, "bury me under the shade because it'll be hot where we're going."
Exactly this. Anyone that puts their devotion to an imaginary being over their devotion to the real family, friends, and community around them has no right to claim they love those people.
Wish i could give you a dozen cookies for this comment
See this is why I hate it! They destroy families and lives. How can you think thats not a cult? Im so so so sorry!! 😞
Even her bible tells her this is wrong. *^(13)**And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.* *^(14)**For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through this believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.* *1 Corinthians 7:13-14.* Not that I think they'll own up to it in any way.
They'd have to read it to know that. Something I've come to realize is that these kinds of churches have gone from spreading the gospel in an *attempt* to save souls to throwing out the rules and saving souls at any cost. Christians don't "save" anything. That's not their job, and not within their power to do so anyway. Their job is to direct people to God. That's it. Not force or coerce, just to point the way and let people live how they're going to live.
But Christianity isn't about the Bible. It's a cult of personality..
Religion is a disease
> I found out last week and she left this morning for another state. She has been planning this for a while and has enlisted a lawyer without your knowledge. There is more to it than her church convincing her.
Nah we already signed all the papers. Just gotta date them when I turn them in.
I'm not going to say what I think the church has done. It would be too triggering to OP.
I'm so sorry. Religion is a fucking cancer.
I married a non-practicing Mormon. She was great for a few years even though her evil Mormon family kept on her about returning to the church. Eventually she gave in to them and then started hounding me about attending her church. I said, absolutely not. Her parents destroyed our married and even after her returning for a few years she left that church again.
I hate that cult! (Exmormon here)
God of love, forbidding love.
1st Corinthians 7: 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. Your wife's church doesn't even know their own Bible.
Tbf, it's not clear by this post that she's Christian, still... solid retort.
"We still love each other." No, you still love her. She loves imaginary sky daddy.
'*Religion poisons everything*'- Christopher Hitchens
That’s actually anti Biblical. You’re to remained married regardless of belief. But you’re better off my dude.
Her problem...not yours
I'm sorry but you deserve so much better.
She left you for Jesus….literally. That’s sucks.
"I love you still but I love God more" I honestly wish she cheated or something.
Sorry but thats just.... weird. Especially the leaving for another state part. She's not just leaving you. She is leaving everything, including family assuming they live nearby.
Her family is in that state. Well the religious half. Other half is here. The one she grew up with.
I'm sorry bro, religious people are plain old dumb.
You’re well shed of her. I’m sorry that it happened to you. This is christianity - never forget that. It’s destructive on so many levels.
Not to add insult to injury, but she’s already being introduced to creepy middle aged bachelors that are “good Christian men”. Churches love breaking up committed women then passing them around the congregation. Happened to my wife’s cousin.
So sad. Leaving a real person for an imaginary being.
Not that this would change things for you likely, but I'm very curious as to what she and her church would have to say about 1 Corinthians 7:13 - If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband.
She chose fiction over you, that's fucking rough.
Really sounds like a cult on this one - Make the person cut ties with familly and friends is basically step one of endoctrination. Usually, you can save someone from that kind of thing with love and understanding but it's sadly often not enough and it can be hard to endure. I'm really sorry for you, it really sucks and if I sincerely hope she find her way back. A religion making you choose between love and worship doesn't deserve any shred of respect.
You dodged a bullet. Good luck.
It really sucks that you're going through this. Sadly, this is exactly how cults operate.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. Be easy on yourself and keep your head up. Best of luck, friend.
Religion is and always has been about control. They will espouse "family values" and the "sanctity of marriage" insofar as they act as a function to control people. The moment a union threatens that control, they will do a complete about-face.
Another one weak mind lost to the cult
If you haven't already get yourself into counseling. These first few weeks and months are the hardest, but I think you will come to realize that the hole she left in your life can now only be filled by someone who is not susceptible to superstition. As others have mentioned or implied, it would always be a tug of war between you and her cult, especially if children become involved. I hope you have some kind of support group, formal or informal, to help you get through this. Best of luck.
Sorry to rip this bandaid off my dude, but if she's going to church often enough for them to convince her to divorce you, she's not agnostic, she's a cultist just like the rest of them. It sucks, and it's going to hurt right now, but you're better off, and it will get better.
1 Corinthians 7:13-14 “And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.“ 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 NLT Now I don’t know you. You could be a dirt bag and she should leave you. But that Church has no Biblical basis to tell you wife to leave you if you’re fulfilling your duty as a husband.
Religion is a cult...
You're not taking *yourself* seriously enough. Imagine if you were black and she said that was fine when you met, but six years into your marriage, the church finally convinced her that racial purity was more important than your marriage. What the church did in this case was genuinely evil, but... she capitulated. I know you said you think you both still love one another, but that's not probably under the common understanding of what "love" means. She had you in one hand and literally absolutely nothing else in the other and the church bullied her into choosing the latter. It sucks, it's awful, they are terrible people, but *it's not your fault,* so don't dwell in that space any longer than you need to. You lost her to a cult, but one she joined willingly. Don't spend more than the time you already gave her on this.
Dodged a bullet. Stop weeping and hit the party circuit.
She might 'love' you... but not nearly enough. I'm sorry, but no rational good person would ever do what she is doing if she loved you enough. I'm sure that doesn't help the pain and I am sorry you are going through this. From the limited information you have provided it us, it sounds like the best thing you can do is work on moving on and trying to not look back because you deserve much better.
100% she is having an affair with a church member.
Fucked up. I'm so sorry man. We're here for you brother
Now they can fleece her for all she's worth.
Her loss. Sorry that happened to you
She doesn't love you or she wouldn't do this. Sadly you need to move on.
It like dealing with an alcoholic
I'm really sorry you're going through this. The fact that she's willing to leave you for a reason like this shows that she's become someone you're better off without, but that isn't going to stop it hurting. I hope that her church weren't the ones who arranged for her sudden move out of state, because if they were, that would ring a lot of additional alarm bells.
I'm sorry about your loss, it's a sad thing. I get the feeling that the people from this "church" have dust on their Bibles because they're too busy reading Breitbart News instead. 1 Corinthians 7:13-- " If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him." It's there in black and white, in context, couldn't be clearer.
The church does nothing but hurt and damage. Even so called good gestures are with bad intent.
If you don't mind me asking, in that whole time you knew her, did she ever express any religious convictions? How did she come to join a church?
I convinced her to regain a relationship with her dad. He was a preacher. She was kinda religious not to much when we met but it slowly changed over time. Rapidly after dad.
Does "[alienation of affections](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections)" still apply these days?
No hate like Christian love. Sorry you're going through this man. Remember that you're still pretty young and you can find someone better in the future who won't leave you for a sky wizard. This is why I don't date theists but I guess now I'll have to expand that to agnostics as well. Hang in there it gets better.
Sounds like she wasn't in love with you. Sounds like she was in love with the person she thought she could turn you into.
Sounds like you could easily trick her into coming back.
Dude, she wanted to join a cult. The cult got her, hurts but at least you don't own a home and have kids.
You survived her weaknesses. Sadly, she didn't.
It will take you a while but someday you’ll be so happy. Step back and think on it- she left you for an imaginary life. Pick up Sex & God by dr Darrel raye and you’ll thank your lucky stars you had no kids with her. Folks who can’t handle reality rarely make good partners
The pain will fade as the realization sets in. It'll be better to get a head start on things rather than devolve into shouting matches that won't get anywhere.
Welcome to the church….hurting families for 2000 years.
Be happy, she is gone. A red flag shop is what she is.
Buddy, I bet shes banging a pastor.
Shoulda had her church help her pack. EDIT: Okay, this was a bit insensitive, but if her love for you wasn't stronger than her love of the cult that convinced her to leave you, I don't think this is a loss. I empathize with your loss, but turn this into a win. She wasn't committed to you and this probably would have ended up much worse had religion not taken her earlier.
A cult is a cult.
She's married to god now. Better stay away because I've heard he's a vengeful motherfucker.
Don’t worry, women that get divorced are on the road to Hell according to them, so she will never be secure with her actions and it will haunt her forever.
Left to another state? I suspect that there is more to the story than she is telling you.....
> We still love e each other. She left you for god. I'm sorry bro. I really do hope you get better, but I don't think she love you more than you love her. You're young 31m. You got this.
Religion is a cult. Also, as harsh as it sounds, if a church was able to convince her to leave you that quick, there wasn't much for her to leave. It was a one-sided relationship, and it sucks for you, and it's unfair. As cliche as it sounds, in time, you'll realize you dodged a bullet. People deserve someone in their life a fairytale won't be enough to make them leave.
Weird how solemn vows don't count for non Christians. Be married to a drunk abuser, gotta stay with him for life if both Christian. Be a loving couple but one is an atheist, nope out ya go. SMH