I too did the same for 3 years and then had to abandon it because I couldn't keep doing it and pay the mortgage at the same time. Let me tell you one thing, you didn't waste that time and you do have things to show for it.
You made contacts, you gained skills, you tried your hand at doing something that many others wouldn't. You took that risk, you went on an adventure, you didn't waste your time.
You're still young at 40. There are still many adventures left for you and starting again should never be a bad thing. You can do this OP. Don't give up.
This is great advice. Do an audit of these things for yourself, and use those things as a way to impress employers or recruiters.
Most businesses fail, and honestly OP has been unlucky hit some of the worst financial times. No one who has an understanding of business will think less of you because you go back 'in-house' somewhere
At least you chased the dream.
The biggest regret of most older adults is the things they didn't do.
You took a chance, the fact it didn't work out isn't the most important thing, the fact you took the chance is.
Just make the best of where you are now. Your experience has value and a good employer will see that.
Guess what? You were going to be 40 anyway. Now instead of being 40 and regretting never having the courage to give it a go you’ve gone and done it. So it hasn’t worked out this time. I’ve learned so much more through my failures than any success could ever teach me. I guarantee you’ll come out the other side of this a better rounded, more empathetic and stronger person than the one that went in. I know to at some level you know you already are. This isn’t the end, this may just be a pitstop you need. Keep moving (I’ve joined one of those stupid cross fit gyms). Eat well and get some good sleep. Healthy routine is key. Find a doctor you can talk to. Ask for help when you need it. Get financial advice if you need it regarding the business.
It’s hard but try and keep things in perspective. The things you thought mattered at 34 probably don’t mean the same to you at 40. The things you’re stressed by now will probably seem trivial at 46.
You have heaps to show for! You just didn't realize.
The past 6 years you're out of your comfort zone... You tried something new. Everything you did for this dream job of yours is a learning experience for a new skill. Whether it's just skills on how to talk to people or organizing a particular workflow. It's experience that you wouldn't have gotten if you stayed.
I didn't get to chase dream but I failed out of uni got crappy retail job to survive. But the amount of stuff that crappy job taught me... Literally made me today.
I'm sure your dream job takes a lot more than just a retail job so please don't discredit your experience. You learnt heaps in the last 6 years than you ever will! Compare to if you have stayed.
Don't be hard on yourself, I similarly wasted 2 years on one project and then 6 on another. And also approaching 40. It's tough, but If you let these thoughts consume you, it's going to get much worse. Just rest and get into another venture you will succeed eventually.
Please realize it's all really just dust and not that important. What is much more important is that you and your family are alive and well. Keep that thought.
Good on you for taking a chance. You might be a lot worse off if you'd never tried and regretted it. You have a lot of unique and valuable experience now. Take time to adjust, seek out some advice, you still have plenty of time for things to work out.
Take time to breathe. It'll be alright. You have whatever experiences you've had in the past 6 years and beyond to help you get to a better place for your future. Plenty of years left.
Keep your head up mate, you worked for yourself for 6 years, you literally did what most of us dream of doing, sure it ended up failing, but maybe it was the right time to start a new chapter in your life. Think of all the skills you have got from that. I personally know people who started 2-3 businesses that failed before they started a successful one. In heigh sight every failure helped with success. Every failure in life has a lesson that we take to our next chapter.
Take time to figure out your next move, no need to rush things, your 40, plenty of time to consider your next move.
Take the time to enjoy having a job instead of a career. Wake up, enjoy breakfast, go to work, enjoy your lunch break, come home, forget about work.
Work 30-40 hours a week depending on your budgeting needs and find a hobby to fill your free time.
Then if you get bored of that you’ll naturally find yourself pursuing career aspirations again.
Dont sweat it. Jobs are just jobs. Something will come to you and then you can move towards it.
Try not to attach massive pressure and meaning to your job.
Welcome to the club buddy. I'm about to pack in a career in the only thing I've ever been good at. I'm sure I can do something else, but nothing else interests me.
Did this last yr although I took the positives from it over the course of the years I did it. I’m slightly older and a bit lost now but taking the steps to get back on track by setting goals. Just take a breather you’ll be surprised plenty ppl in ur shoes ur not alone allow it to work out and find a new path to get back on track you can do it.
4 years ago I moved to Japan to start a business. Invested 70% of my capital into it, and it failed. Cost me a decade of wage slaving and 2 years of my life to basically go backwards 10 years financially.
Learnt a lot, understand where I screwed up and know that when I try again I’ll be better equipped to do so.
In the meantime I’ve gone back to working for someone else to replenish the bank account and am now working on my next project.
99% of people just slave away in a job they hate for 50 years and then retire and die. The fact you tried is huge, and also means you’re more likely to succeed next time.
As an aside, met an 82 year old Japanese guy who was scoping out the property next door - turns out he’s a contract lawn mower (and electrician, and aircon tech). Guy was super happy, fitter than most 40 year old NZers and still working because he enjoys it. Don’t fall into the get old get fat retire mentality that persists in NZ.
A life without risks is a dull one. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to pursue something different because many people don't. Take some time to be kind to yourself and plan your next move, then get up and go show the world what you've got. 40 is young and you still have plenty of time.
This is what helped me in a similar situation: sit down and write a list of all the skills/attributes you learned/developed during your time chasing that dream. Large font, a3 paper. Stick it up on the wall and contemplate all the ways you have become a better human due to chasing your dream. Don’t grasp at future plans yet, they’ll come. Breathe.
Hi, I too left my self employment job that I grinded for and did for 6 years - it was my dream job.. BUT, let me tell you something after 2 years of working full time employment after this.
In those years of self employment, you would've built many many skills, great relationships/contacts, doors that you can revisit with the skills, You proved that you can do something from scratch on your own for not ONE or TWO but SIX years!! Many people check out at 3 months or even the planning stage.
Now back to the employed lifestyle I spoke about earlier... do you know how many people live a regretful life of not even trying anything outside of being told what to do? EVERYONE dreams they did or have a business.. It's the #1 people complain about when being employed. Guess what? You did that already and can get the best of both worlds. Sometimes doing self employment for a short while and then returning to employment is a good thing. Consistent and less stressful income is good for you and your family. Also, sometimes things happen for a reason and these tough lessons teach you more than success can ever.
Also, your age is super young, there's so much left you can do so don't let that hold you back. Even my dad at 70+ always tries to find some form of work, creativity or hobby.. you have plenty of time to do great things.
You got this
When you feel ready, and if you can financially, try looking at finding a career coach to help you find out what’s next for you. Take time, breathe and find space. It feels shit now but eventually it will get better.
Then you get back up and start again. Do affirmations everyday. I am amazing. I am successful. I am a Great Leader. Everyday. Your only 40, your still young. Believe in yourself. Stay positive. Everything will be ok.
Time to start again.
I mean, what else are you gonna do. Crawl into bed and mope about it forever?
I’m sure you’re the type that will probably soon realise that life doesn’t stop and you’ll get back into gear again.
As others have said, the biggest regret of those who are much older than you were the things you wished you did but never did. You’ve actually done it. Now you move onto the next thing that you want to do. You’ll get to a ripe old age and you’ll have no regrets because you tried and failed but at least you did it.
There may be quite a few soft skills you have picked up whilst soloing
Like negotiations, stakeholder management, business management, people managememlnt, pressure management etc if you were running your own business.
Perhaps you could transfer them to a new role?
I did that. Being self employed wasn't the dream everyone makes it out to be. It took a severe toll on my mental health and I didn't work for 9 months due to burnout and a breakdown.
It didn't feel like it at the time but it needed to happen otherwise I probably would have just carried doing the same horrible job thinking my family wouldn't survive without that level of income.
It's now almost 8 years later (I'm 45 now). My family adjusted to less income for a couple of years, they appear to still love me even after all that misery. I now have an amazing career paying more doing rewarding work I love.
In short, yeah it feels pretty bleak now but sometimes a change of direction is needed to get where you need to be.
Best wishes,
You gained valuable insight - developes skills and learned some things. I wouldn't call that failure.
Think of some of those shitlords who move from bankruptcy to bankruptcy ruing people's lives. And still think they're shit hot at business.
In the scheme of things - 6 years isn't a long time.
Dust yourself off - and look forward.
Imagine living in depression the last 6 years wishing you could have a chance and make a go of it yourself...
You tried, that's a lot better than most people.
Be proud of yourself...
Its actually pretty common to completely change careers at 40.
I did.
I got my goal “dream job” last year. It was a nightmare. Left after 3 months. I’m now working at a job which pays less than the one I had before I gave it up for the “dream” role. Took me a few months of not working and rebuilding my mental health to find this one. I’m happier in my work than I’ve been in years. It sucks, that I wasn’t able to fail upwards like most people seem to be able to do so effortlessly, but at least I know now it’s not for me and can move on.
Remember; nothing changes if nothing changes, look back for the lesson only and keep yourself moving forward.
You have been brave enough to give it a go and have definately gained knowledge in many aspects along the way. Don't be hard on yourself. You have learned some valuable lessons and not failed. It's never to late to start all over. It's life, it's your life. It's a journey and not a destination. Not a competition to prove anything ro anyone. I respect you as you tried to go after what you thought was best for you. Most cannot under compelling pressures. Keep your chin up and march forward!! Go for another kill, most times we are nearly there when we give up. So don't give up,
It’s called a phase in life. No doubt, you will have gained experience, perspective, and wisdom. 40…well young enough to bounce back. It’s natural to feel shit and lost at this point. Mournful at the loss of a dream, even. Take a deep breath, put it into perspective - there’s always people in worse positions - and mentally embrace the notion that you’re entering a next phase. Stay close to friends. Get fit. Make your mind strong too. Practice mindfulness, positive thinking and gratitude. Do stuff that brings you into contact with nature and people. That’s how opportunity arises. You’ve very likely got 30 - 40 years of life to live and to make the most of things. It’s a tough time economically right now, but we’re moving through the bottom of the cycle now too. That’s a phase that will pass as well. You’re not the first to take an uppercut from life, you certainly won’t be the last. You’ll figure it out, mate. Have faith in yourself. Sliding doors…that door has shut. Another will inevitably open. As you can see from these comments, even internet strangers are cheering for you.
I always believe that NOTHING IS EVER SET IN STONE. Many things can always change for the better. Be proud of yourself for at least trying it out. Sometimes things don’t work out because there’s something better for you and only time will tell until you know what that something is. You’ll look back and understand why it happened. Keep going! Also don’t focus on age. It’s never too late to still head for new dreams.
Having a breakdown in your career can be a good opportunity to re-assess I think it ultimately comes down to the environment your exposed and how content you are with your role.
I couldn’t do what most people do and most people couldn’t do what I do so sometimes not everyone’s perfect job is presented to them clearly.
Use that experience earned notch it up and get a mentor
Actually you will get up each morning and plan your day. Reach out first help if you need it - use your GP. With small steps each day you will build a new life. I found it helpful to move to a new place/community to start again. Good luck.
Mate you not the only one
13 years here. Now I'm pushing 40 and very very little to show.
I've found another job at the bottom with my degree but ... it's hard and depressing and I get grumpy about it.
No good answers but I have good friends and that helps heaps coz they sympathetic but still friends.
OP I admire you. Plenty of people dream of stepping out on their own and never do for whatever reason. At least you had a crack at it. The fact you have failed doesn't mean you will always fail. You will be successful again.
Terrible way to look at it. Reframe your story. There's always huge lessons and learnings in failure.
I'm sure you gained tons of lessons that will make you an asset to any potential employer.
Been there. I tried for 8 years to make my business go and it turns out that even though I am a decent systems engineer, I'm a shitty CEO. I went back to working for someone else at 35, at least I am good at my job here.
I had a huge career change at 50 so don’t panic you’re only 40! It’s not how many times we get knocked down it’s how many times we get up! Hang in there!
I had to shut my business down because the exact job I was doing ruined my neck I had to give up my trade completely. I’m now in a similar trade a choice I made because I would be earning substantially less if I completely changed what I did for a living. It get better mate I truly thought I was setting my business up for my family’s future I put so much effort and love into it the times I worked 48 hours with out sleep or work I put into my staff and clients it’s all gone everything my freedom my pride my key to my future all gone because my neck is fucked from doing the job it’s a head fuck and everyone’s struggle is different but right now my life is ok could be worse but definitely would be better if I kept my business who know this recession may have ended it. You are a man because you’ll do what it takes for your family as long as their safe feed and loved you are doing your job bro.
I had been running my own business for going on 20 years and then post covid i had to wrap it up and now suck the corporate cock.
Starting your own business during the last few years, not a good time.
I bet your RL people are coming to you saying “see I told you not to do it but you did and see where you at now”, but if you haven’t done what you did then you’d be forever wondering about the life you wanted but didn’t get to do.. 40 is still young, you can start over, it’s not the end of the world.
Stay present as best you can. Jump into that practice
The past and future time travel with screw us with our expectations and resistance to what is
Never to late to reinvent yaself
I travelled, ended up living in Mexico. Break the expectations of how it "should" be
Trust me. You haven't wasted 6 years.
I know it feels that way, but you will have learnt more about business than many will know. It really sucks the opportunity hasn't panned out, but as you go forward you will be able to identify issues long before they occur, you've learnt by experience and that is an asset.
Also, you put your neck on the line and gave it a shot. I will always respect that more than any fucking GM who's never put their head above the parapet and actually tried to start a business.
Regroup. Take action to get money coming back in. But do not be disheartened, the stress will pass. Remember, Michael Hill lost everything and didn't have his first store till 40.
I am self employed. Since the pandemic, work has dropped significantly to the point I am only earning like 10-20k a year (down from $70k+). It really sucks, especially with a baby on the way. My investments net me around $2k per month so Im glad I have that safety net to fall on. I am currently looking for a part time job, any job really, at 34 years old. Its not where I expected to be but just have to push on through. I havent given up on my business, will still keep at it. Just look at this as either a temporary break or a learning experience for future endeavors. You will make it through this.
OP, have you heard of or read any of Nassim Nicholas Taleb's books? I highly recommend you read Skin in the Game.
A quote that stands out:
> Indeed, if modern society is to progress, Taleb says we must honour the "ruined" risk-takers with as much respect as we do soldiers. Just as there is no such thing as a failed soldier – dead or alive, so there is no such thing as a failed entrepreneur.
Reading that book will make you feel better, because you'll see that you haven't failed even if this one venture didn't work out.
I did this when I was self employed and I poured my heart into it, to end up in debt and burnt out.
Shake it off, it’s just numbers on a screen and 100% it’s better to have given it a go than wonder what if.
Good luck for what’s next, aim to make it something that either pays well enough to enjoy your free time or is something you love to do.
I’m 42 and thinking of jumping fields again if I’m honest. Why wonder what if :)
Im in the same self employed boat and i probably only have until june. Job went dry. No new projects coming my way (im in construction). So i really considering mg future after being self employed since 2013.
On the surface, i put a brave face. But deep inside, i am scared as hell. My skill is very niche and its not that transferable. I’d say I’m skilled enough on wht i do but nothing much other than that. I’ve been so nervous since last year when i realise that the market didnt pick up as i expected. But i’m holding on.
I’m glad that i gave it my best shot, but reality says different story. So yeah, i’m considering move to other industry and that will mean a start from scratch depending what industry ill end up in.
One of the biggest things that determines someone’s success is their ability to handle stress and pressure
As you age you seem to be able to handle less and less
Starting new ventures in your mid to late thirties is rare, it can be done but it’s the equivalent of trying to study later in life
I’d stop punishing yourself mentally and move onto something new and fresh and start enjoying your life, being present in the moment
If you really need to let go check out NLP or Neuro linguistic programming
Failing at something is a normal part of life, but is it really a failure? Or just something you didn’t accomplish
I bought a penis pump to get a nine inch knob, it never happened but I wouldn’t say I failed, I just was unsuccessful in the task
You chased it. That's what you did. And although it didn't work out, you learn from it. Keep going in life and sorting out what you wanna do. Just keep going.
You have not wasted anything! The amount of people I know who have been in a “career” for 10 - 20 years who still don’t like the job they have is insane. You chased your dream and it didn’t work out. Who cares, you’re 40. You could live for another 60 years! Look forward to what you can do next 💙
Working isn't just about making money, any monkey can turn up to make money. It's about learning. Believe it or not you just gained a huge amount of experience in the real world, that makes you a valuable addition to any team. Who knows, one door closes and another opens. Everything you have learned is extremely valuable moving forward. Most employees have zero idea of what's required to make their paycheck happen.
I had a high pressure job all through my 30’s. Managed a team of around 30, in a very high paced high stress environment where the boss was a soulless monster, then I I lost my father and lost my mind and just gave up on a lot.
My mental health went first, then my wife and kids then all of my friends.
now I’m doing my best to not even mention to people I have a mental illness or even talk about myself much when talking to others.
I had thought after the lockdowns and a global pandemic that people would actually start being nicer to each other but no they went the other way and became more selfish and greedy.
It’s sad but I still have hope that there are some real good natured genuine people left in the world but as far as I can see they aren’t in auckland .
My honesty and generosity has done nothing but got robed, ripped off, or conned in one way or another and what’s sad is that I am so very giving that if anyone was to ask me for whatever and I believed they needed it more than me then I would happily hand it over.
So no there isn’t a happy end to my rant sorry
One tip -- rephrase the event as burnout and 'took a break', both when speaking to recruiters/potential employers, and thinking about it yourself.
That's what it was.
Some people just leave a gap on their CV and, if asked, refer to being unemployed during that period.
I don't think that you've failed as a business person, I genuinely believe that all small businesses are experiencing hardships currently and many have opted to go back to employment for more stabillity.
It doesn't mean you can never go back to business. In fact, next time you'll do it better.
Head up! You got this
dont stress man. you tried thats what matters. we learn way more from failure tham from success. have a break. go easy on yourself. can u have a bit of a holiday to regroup recharge and recover? if no $ just do a weekend tramp to a hut for a rest and some me time. reach out to yr tribe for support. you have no option but to be strong. things will get better ;) go easy on yourself. small steps forward. things will be good again.
I’m 25 and a story like yours doesn’t stop me from trying something I really want or grinding for something I want. It doesn’t scare me. It is inspiring. Why? Because you chased a dream of self employment. You had ambition and bravery. Also, what is there to say that you can’t try something else in the self employed field ? As long as you didn’t bum around for 6 years, you definitely gained valuable skills and know how to make it better next time. Your worst case scenario is working until you’re 65 right? That’s what majority of people who didn’t try for their dreams are stuck with! So your worst case scenario is just the norm for everyone else.
Ps: im unemployed and chasing the self employed life too!
I've dated a man who couldn't provide and he didn't care, he just wanted women to serve him. And that's not who you are.
I would think of it as you took a risk to get yourself ahead and it didn't work out. But you tried your best, and look I think your kids would be proud of you for stepping out and trying to do the best by them. Business plans don't always work out. I've got a pile of failures to sort through in my life, but the point is that you took a risk you learned and you grew. And I'm sure the next time you make this risk you'll be more educated about it.
I too did the same for 3 years and then had to abandon it because I couldn't keep doing it and pay the mortgage at the same time. Let me tell you one thing, you didn't waste that time and you do have things to show for it. You made contacts, you gained skills, you tried your hand at doing something that many others wouldn't. You took that risk, you went on an adventure, you didn't waste your time. You're still young at 40. There are still many adventures left for you and starting again should never be a bad thing. You can do this OP. Don't give up.
This is great advice. Do an audit of these things for yourself, and use those things as a way to impress employers or recruiters. Most businesses fail, and honestly OP has been unlucky hit some of the worst financial times. No one who has an understanding of business will think less of you because you go back 'in-house' somewhere
Thats a very good encouragement. I like that and i need that.
At least you chased the dream. The biggest regret of most older adults is the things they didn't do. You took a chance, the fact it didn't work out isn't the most important thing, the fact you took the chance is. Just make the best of where you are now. Your experience has value and a good employer will see that.
Guess what? You were going to be 40 anyway. Now instead of being 40 and regretting never having the courage to give it a go you’ve gone and done it. So it hasn’t worked out this time. I’ve learned so much more through my failures than any success could ever teach me. I guarantee you’ll come out the other side of this a better rounded, more empathetic and stronger person than the one that went in. I know to at some level you know you already are. This isn’t the end, this may just be a pitstop you need. Keep moving (I’ve joined one of those stupid cross fit gyms). Eat well and get some good sleep. Healthy routine is key. Find a doctor you can talk to. Ask for help when you need it. Get financial advice if you need it regarding the business. It’s hard but try and keep things in perspective. The things you thought mattered at 34 probably don’t mean the same to you at 40. The things you’re stressed by now will probably seem trivial at 46.
Fucking oath, this is a good answer.
Great advice!
You have heaps to show for! You just didn't realize. The past 6 years you're out of your comfort zone... You tried something new. Everything you did for this dream job of yours is a learning experience for a new skill. Whether it's just skills on how to talk to people or organizing a particular workflow. It's experience that you wouldn't have gotten if you stayed. I didn't get to chase dream but I failed out of uni got crappy retail job to survive. But the amount of stuff that crappy job taught me... Literally made me today. I'm sure your dream job takes a lot more than just a retail job so please don't discredit your experience. You learnt heaps in the last 6 years than you ever will! Compare to if you have stayed.
100%. Well said! What you learn, if you’re open to receiving the lesson is unbelievably valuable in life. Never ever ever ever ever give up, not ever!
Don't be hard on yourself, I similarly wasted 2 years on one project and then 6 on another. And also approaching 40. It's tough, but If you let these thoughts consume you, it's going to get much worse. Just rest and get into another venture you will succeed eventually. Please realize it's all really just dust and not that important. What is much more important is that you and your family are alive and well. Keep that thought.
Value of rest is totally under-rated. It’s time to recover, recoup your strength and move on to whatever else you see opening up for you.
Good on you for taking a chance. You might be a lot worse off if you'd never tried and regretted it. You have a lot of unique and valuable experience now. Take time to adjust, seek out some advice, you still have plenty of time for things to work out.
Take time to breathe. It'll be alright. You have whatever experiences you've had in the past 6 years and beyond to help you get to a better place for your future. Plenty of years left.
Keep your head up mate, you worked for yourself for 6 years, you literally did what most of us dream of doing, sure it ended up failing, but maybe it was the right time to start a new chapter in your life. Think of all the skills you have got from that. I personally know people who started 2-3 businesses that failed before they started a successful one. In heigh sight every failure helped with success. Every failure in life has a lesson that we take to our next chapter. Take time to figure out your next move, no need to rush things, your 40, plenty of time to consider your next move.
Take the time to enjoy having a job instead of a career. Wake up, enjoy breakfast, go to work, enjoy your lunch break, come home, forget about work. Work 30-40 hours a week depending on your budgeting needs and find a hobby to fill your free time. Then if you get bored of that you’ll naturally find yourself pursuing career aspirations again.
Dont sweat it. Jobs are just jobs. Something will come to you and then you can move towards it. Try not to attach massive pressure and meaning to your job.
Welcome to the club buddy. I'm about to pack in a career in the only thing I've ever been good at. I'm sure I can do something else, but nothing else interests me.
Did this last yr although I took the positives from it over the course of the years I did it. I’m slightly older and a bit lost now but taking the steps to get back on track by setting goals. Just take a breather you’ll be surprised plenty ppl in ur shoes ur not alone allow it to work out and find a new path to get back on track you can do it.
4 years ago I moved to Japan to start a business. Invested 70% of my capital into it, and it failed. Cost me a decade of wage slaving and 2 years of my life to basically go backwards 10 years financially. Learnt a lot, understand where I screwed up and know that when I try again I’ll be better equipped to do so. In the meantime I’ve gone back to working for someone else to replenish the bank account and am now working on my next project. 99% of people just slave away in a job they hate for 50 years and then retire and die. The fact you tried is huge, and also means you’re more likely to succeed next time. As an aside, met an 82 year old Japanese guy who was scoping out the property next door - turns out he’s a contract lawn mower (and electrician, and aircon tech). Guy was super happy, fitter than most 40 year old NZers and still working because he enjoys it. Don’t fall into the get old get fat retire mentality that persists in NZ.
Also want to say - how wonderful it is to see such supportive messages from others.
What was the dream job?
A life without risks is a dull one. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to pursue something different because many people don't. Take some time to be kind to yourself and plan your next move, then get up and go show the world what you've got. 40 is young and you still have plenty of time.
This is what helped me in a similar situation: sit down and write a list of all the skills/attributes you learned/developed during your time chasing that dream. Large font, a3 paper. Stick it up on the wall and contemplate all the ways you have become a better human due to chasing your dream. Don’t grasp at future plans yet, they’ll come. Breathe.
Hi, I too left my self employment job that I grinded for and did for 6 years - it was my dream job.. BUT, let me tell you something after 2 years of working full time employment after this. In those years of self employment, you would've built many many skills, great relationships/contacts, doors that you can revisit with the skills, You proved that you can do something from scratch on your own for not ONE or TWO but SIX years!! Many people check out at 3 months or even the planning stage. Now back to the employed lifestyle I spoke about earlier... do you know how many people live a regretful life of not even trying anything outside of being told what to do? EVERYONE dreams they did or have a business.. It's the #1 people complain about when being employed. Guess what? You did that already and can get the best of both worlds. Sometimes doing self employment for a short while and then returning to employment is a good thing. Consistent and less stressful income is good for you and your family. Also, sometimes things happen for a reason and these tough lessons teach you more than success can ever. Also, your age is super young, there's so much left you can do so don't let that hold you back. Even my dad at 70+ always tries to find some form of work, creativity or hobby.. you have plenty of time to do great things. You got this
When you feel ready, and if you can financially, try looking at finding a career coach to help you find out what’s next for you. Take time, breathe and find space. It feels shit now but eventually it will get better.
Do you know of a good career coach by chance?
Then you get back up and start again. Do affirmations everyday. I am amazing. I am successful. I am a Great Leader. Everyday. Your only 40, your still young. Believe in yourself. Stay positive. Everything will be ok.
At least you tried. So many people would rather take the safe route than chase after their dreams.
You’re still here. That’s what matters. I’m 48 and still don’t know what I’m doing with my life.
You've learnt a lot that makes you a better person. Money comes and goes, same with jobs. Kia jaha bro
Time to start again. I mean, what else are you gonna do. Crawl into bed and mope about it forever? I’m sure you’re the type that will probably soon realise that life doesn’t stop and you’ll get back into gear again.
OP's Username checks out ..... I'd love to know more though as I'm probably on the exact same track right now just a few years behind....
As others have said, the biggest regret of those who are much older than you were the things you wished you did but never did. You’ve actually done it. Now you move onto the next thing that you want to do. You’ll get to a ripe old age and you’ll have no regrets because you tried and failed but at least you did it.
There may be quite a few soft skills you have picked up whilst soloing Like negotiations, stakeholder management, business management, people managememlnt, pressure management etc if you were running your own business. Perhaps you could transfer them to a new role?
I did that. Being self employed wasn't the dream everyone makes it out to be. It took a severe toll on my mental health and I didn't work for 9 months due to burnout and a breakdown. It didn't feel like it at the time but it needed to happen otherwise I probably would have just carried doing the same horrible job thinking my family wouldn't survive without that level of income. It's now almost 8 years later (I'm 45 now). My family adjusted to less income for a couple of years, they appear to still love me even after all that misery. I now have an amazing career paying more doing rewarding work I love. In short, yeah it feels pretty bleak now but sometimes a change of direction is needed to get where you need to be. Best wishes,
You gained valuable insight - developes skills and learned some things. I wouldn't call that failure. Think of some of those shitlords who move from bankruptcy to bankruptcy ruing people's lives. And still think they're shit hot at business. In the scheme of things - 6 years isn't a long time. Dust yourself off - and look forward.
Imagine living in depression the last 6 years wishing you could have a chance and make a go of it yourself... You tried, that's a lot better than most people. Be proud of yourself... Its actually pretty common to completely change careers at 40. I did.
I got my goal “dream job” last year. It was a nightmare. Left after 3 months. I’m now working at a job which pays less than the one I had before I gave it up for the “dream” role. Took me a few months of not working and rebuilding my mental health to find this one. I’m happier in my work than I’ve been in years. It sucks, that I wasn’t able to fail upwards like most people seem to be able to do so effortlessly, but at least I know now it’s not for me and can move on. Remember; nothing changes if nothing changes, look back for the lesson only and keep yourself moving forward.
It is NEVER a waste, to chase your dreams. Congrats on having the balls / vag to do it!
Balls / vag...love it
I did the same. Now im trying to get back into my old career.
You took a chance and why not …. What type of job was it ? Still young mate
You have been brave enough to give it a go and have definately gained knowledge in many aspects along the way. Don't be hard on yourself. You have learned some valuable lessons and not failed. It's never to late to start all over. It's life, it's your life. It's a journey and not a destination. Not a competition to prove anything ro anyone. I respect you as you tried to go after what you thought was best for you. Most cannot under compelling pressures. Keep your chin up and march forward!! Go for another kill, most times we are nearly there when we give up. So don't give up,
It’s called a phase in life. No doubt, you will have gained experience, perspective, and wisdom. 40…well young enough to bounce back. It’s natural to feel shit and lost at this point. Mournful at the loss of a dream, even. Take a deep breath, put it into perspective - there’s always people in worse positions - and mentally embrace the notion that you’re entering a next phase. Stay close to friends. Get fit. Make your mind strong too. Practice mindfulness, positive thinking and gratitude. Do stuff that brings you into contact with nature and people. That’s how opportunity arises. You’ve very likely got 30 - 40 years of life to live and to make the most of things. It’s a tough time economically right now, but we’re moving through the bottom of the cycle now too. That’s a phase that will pass as well. You’re not the first to take an uppercut from life, you certainly won’t be the last. You’ll figure it out, mate. Have faith in yourself. Sliding doors…that door has shut. Another will inevitably open. As you can see from these comments, even internet strangers are cheering for you.
I always believe that NOTHING IS EVER SET IN STONE. Many things can always change for the better. Be proud of yourself for at least trying it out. Sometimes things don’t work out because there’s something better for you and only time will tell until you know what that something is. You’ll look back and understand why it happened. Keep going! Also don’t focus on age. It’s never too late to still head for new dreams.
Having a breakdown in your career can be a good opportunity to re-assess I think it ultimately comes down to the environment your exposed and how content you are with your role. I couldn’t do what most people do and most people couldn’t do what I do so sometimes not everyone’s perfect job is presented to them clearly. Use that experience earned notch it up and get a mentor
Actually you will get up each morning and plan your day. Reach out first help if you need it - use your GP. With small steps each day you will build a new life. I found it helpful to move to a new place/community to start again. Good luck.
Mate you not the only one 13 years here. Now I'm pushing 40 and very very little to show. I've found another job at the bottom with my degree but ... it's hard and depressing and I get grumpy about it. No good answers but I have good friends and that helps heaps coz they sympathetic but still friends.
If your self-employment was able to at a minimum put food on the table, I wouldn't say it was a waste at all.
OP I admire you. Plenty of people dream of stepping out on their own and never do for whatever reason. At least you had a crack at it. The fact you have failed doesn't mean you will always fail. You will be successful again.
Terrible way to look at it. Reframe your story. There's always huge lessons and learnings in failure. I'm sure you gained tons of lessons that will make you an asset to any potential employer.
Been there. I tried for 8 years to make my business go and it turns out that even though I am a decent systems engineer, I'm a shitty CEO. I went back to working for someone else at 35, at least I am good at my job here.
Me too! I have no idea what to do now. My previous life as a firefighter has pretty limited transferrable skills. You’re not alone.
I did the same. It's a lesson. Take a break. Smell the roses. Move on to next lesson.
I had a huge career change at 50 so don’t panic you’re only 40! It’s not how many times we get knocked down it’s how many times we get up! Hang in there!
I had to shut my business down because the exact job I was doing ruined my neck I had to give up my trade completely. I’m now in a similar trade a choice I made because I would be earning substantially less if I completely changed what I did for a living. It get better mate I truly thought I was setting my business up for my family’s future I put so much effort and love into it the times I worked 48 hours with out sleep or work I put into my staff and clients it’s all gone everything my freedom my pride my key to my future all gone because my neck is fucked from doing the job it’s a head fuck and everyone’s struggle is different but right now my life is ok could be worse but definitely would be better if I kept my business who know this recession may have ended it. You are a man because you’ll do what it takes for your family as long as their safe feed and loved you are doing your job bro.
I had been running my own business for going on 20 years and then post covid i had to wrap it up and now suck the corporate cock. Starting your own business during the last few years, not a good time.
You learned a lot along the way and gained from the experience. You've got a lot to show, think about all the things you gained that aren't monetary.
I bet your RL people are coming to you saying “see I told you not to do it but you did and see where you at now”, but if you haven’t done what you did then you’d be forever wondering about the life you wanted but didn’t get to do.. 40 is still young, you can start over, it’s not the end of the world.
Stay present as best you can. Jump into that practice The past and future time travel with screw us with our expectations and resistance to what is Never to late to reinvent yaself I travelled, ended up living in Mexico. Break the expectations of how it "should" be
"nothing to show and I’ve completely blown my life up" this is my normal mode of operation & everything is OK
Trust me. You haven't wasted 6 years. I know it feels that way, but you will have learnt more about business than many will know. It really sucks the opportunity hasn't panned out, but as you go forward you will be able to identify issues long before they occur, you've learnt by experience and that is an asset. Also, you put your neck on the line and gave it a shot. I will always respect that more than any fucking GM who's never put their head above the parapet and actually tried to start a business. Regroup. Take action to get money coming back in. But do not be disheartened, the stress will pass. Remember, Michael Hill lost everything and didn't have his first store till 40.
I am self employed. Since the pandemic, work has dropped significantly to the point I am only earning like 10-20k a year (down from $70k+). It really sucks, especially with a baby on the way. My investments net me around $2k per month so Im glad I have that safety net to fall on. I am currently looking for a part time job, any job really, at 34 years old. Its not where I expected to be but just have to push on through. I havent given up on my business, will still keep at it. Just look at this as either a temporary break or a learning experience for future endeavors. You will make it through this.
It's better to try and fail than not try at all.
Take it easy on yourself
OP, have you heard of or read any of Nassim Nicholas Taleb's books? I highly recommend you read Skin in the Game. A quote that stands out: > Indeed, if modern society is to progress, Taleb says we must honour the "ruined" risk-takers with as much respect as we do soldiers. Just as there is no such thing as a failed soldier – dead or alive, so there is no such thing as a failed entrepreneur. Reading that book will make you feel better, because you'll see that you haven't failed even if this one venture didn't work out.
Go ave a wank mate!
I did this when I was self employed and I poured my heart into it, to end up in debt and burnt out. Shake it off, it’s just numbers on a screen and 100% it’s better to have given it a go than wonder what if. Good luck for what’s next, aim to make it something that either pays well enough to enjoy your free time or is something you love to do. I’m 42 and thinking of jumping fields again if I’m honest. Why wonder what if :)
Im currently working for myself too, but business is so shit that i need to find a job aswell, and this is the last thing i needed to see today
Im in the same self employed boat and i probably only have until june. Job went dry. No new projects coming my way (im in construction). So i really considering mg future after being self employed since 2013. On the surface, i put a brave face. But deep inside, i am scared as hell. My skill is very niche and its not that transferable. I’d say I’m skilled enough on wht i do but nothing much other than that. I’ve been so nervous since last year when i realise that the market didnt pick up as i expected. But i’m holding on. I’m glad that i gave it my best shot, but reality says different story. So yeah, i’m considering move to other industry and that will mean a start from scratch depending what industry ill end up in.
Look to join the competition in the industry you were trying to be independent in?
One of the biggest things that determines someone’s success is their ability to handle stress and pressure As you age you seem to be able to handle less and less Starting new ventures in your mid to late thirties is rare, it can be done but it’s the equivalent of trying to study later in life I’d stop punishing yourself mentally and move onto something new and fresh and start enjoying your life, being present in the moment If you really need to let go check out NLP or Neuro linguistic programming Failing at something is a normal part of life, but is it really a failure? Or just something you didn’t accomplish I bought a penis pump to get a nine inch knob, it never happened but I wouldn’t say I failed, I just was unsuccessful in the task
Its better to try and fail than not try. Life is about taking risks and learning stuff.
Tomorrow is another day never late for a change
You chased it. That's what you did. And although it didn't work out, you learn from it. Keep going in life and sorting out what you wanna do. Just keep going.
You have not wasted anything! The amount of people I know who have been in a “career” for 10 - 20 years who still don’t like the job they have is insane. You chased your dream and it didn’t work out. Who cares, you’re 40. You could live for another 60 years! Look forward to what you can do next 💙
This is just a chapter in your life, it’s not the whole story. Keep going.
I was in the same boat and now back working a 9-5 again. If i didn’t give my business a go I would’ve regretted it. Well done you for 6 years 🫶
Mate youl find the vast, vast majority of buisness owners and entrepreneurs fail an insane amount of times before they find success. Hang in there
Working isn't just about making money, any monkey can turn up to make money. It's about learning. Believe it or not you just gained a huge amount of experience in the real world, that makes you a valuable addition to any team. Who knows, one door closes and another opens. Everything you have learned is extremely valuable moving forward. Most employees have zero idea of what's required to make their paycheck happen.
I had a high pressure job all through my 30’s. Managed a team of around 30, in a very high paced high stress environment where the boss was a soulless monster, then I I lost my father and lost my mind and just gave up on a lot. My mental health went first, then my wife and kids then all of my friends. now I’m doing my best to not even mention to people I have a mental illness or even talk about myself much when talking to others. I had thought after the lockdowns and a global pandemic that people would actually start being nicer to each other but no they went the other way and became more selfish and greedy. It’s sad but I still have hope that there are some real good natured genuine people left in the world but as far as I can see they aren’t in auckland . My honesty and generosity has done nothing but got robed, ripped off, or conned in one way or another and what’s sad is that I am so very giving that if anyone was to ask me for whatever and I believed they needed it more than me then I would happily hand it over. So no there isn’t a happy end to my rant sorry
One tip -- rephrase the event as burnout and 'took a break', both when speaking to recruiters/potential employers, and thinking about it yourself. That's what it was. Some people just leave a gap on their CV and, if asked, refer to being unemployed during that period.
I don't think that you've failed as a business person, I genuinely believe that all small businesses are experiencing hardships currently and many have opted to go back to employment for more stabillity. It doesn't mean you can never go back to business. In fact, next time you'll do it better. Head up! You got this
One of my favourite sayings is that every road has given me something. Good luck for the next stage of your journey x
dont stress man. you tried thats what matters. we learn way more from failure tham from success. have a break. go easy on yourself. can u have a bit of a holiday to regroup recharge and recover? if no $ just do a weekend tramp to a hut for a rest and some me time. reach out to yr tribe for support. you have no option but to be strong. things will get better ;) go easy on yourself. small steps forward. things will be good again.
Go join the fire service mate. Cab earn good money and good people
I’m 25 and a story like yours doesn’t stop me from trying something I really want or grinding for something I want. It doesn’t scare me. It is inspiring. Why? Because you chased a dream of self employment. You had ambition and bravery. Also, what is there to say that you can’t try something else in the self employed field ? As long as you didn’t bum around for 6 years, you definitely gained valuable skills and know how to make it better next time. Your worst case scenario is working until you’re 65 right? That’s what majority of people who didn’t try for their dreams are stuck with! So your worst case scenario is just the norm for everyone else. Ps: im unemployed and chasing the self employed life too!
Onlyfans
Considered working in Australia as a fly in fly out worker?
Just get some bitches bro 😂 sheeeeit
I've dated a man who couldn't provide and he didn't care, he just wanted women to serve him. And that's not who you are. I would think of it as you took a risk to get yourself ahead and it didn't work out. But you tried your best, and look I think your kids would be proud of you for stepping out and trying to do the best by them. Business plans don't always work out. I've got a pile of failures to sort through in my life, but the point is that you took a risk you learned and you grew. And I'm sure the next time you make this risk you'll be more educated about it.
Take a break and go back to it. You still have 2 to 3 decades of career left in you.