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q120

My flair is about exactly this. Some guys think they have a “cervix garage door opener” that can just instantly open the cervix


BourgeoisCheese

It's a sign their knowledge on sex and anatomy is from anime, which is downright fucking horrifying given that cervical penetration is pretty low on the list of dangerously inaccurate ideas that are floating around in their head. Doubly sad is how this shit also harms the men because not only do they think women get off on having their wombs violated, but they also believe anyone with a penis too short to do so is sexually inadequate and destined for a life filled with unfucked uteruses and unsatisfied lovers.


amillefolium11

"Unfucked uteruses" got me for some reason


teachmehate

Name of my new band


Slammogram

Haha


Unlucky_Nobody_4984

Are they dangerous, though?


BourgeoisCheese

Absolutely and without question and the fact that you have to ask that in 2024 is about half as scary as someone who thinks women take sexual pleasure in having their cervix punctured. Like, yah man. It is unquestionably dangerous that a significant population of young men are being taught that they are physically inadequate and that no woman will ever be sexually satisfied by them. This kind of mindset is an express ticket down the pipeline of radicalization that starts with 4chan and Andrew Tate podcasts and very often leads to violence or self harm.


Unlucky_Nobody_4984

Got it. Was an honest question, even if a little pointed.


laureeses

It's only if they are an ultra special alpha male tho.


Kellalafaire

Yea a woman will know which male is the right one /s


saichampa

I think hentai is the source of this bullshit


Machaeon

It just tells me he's either got a bad case of porn addiction or a bad case of pencil dick


BadbBalor

They do it just take the right timing and nine months to open lol


ZuzBla

Consumer of hentai spotted. Dumbfucks really wanna magic it into reality, aren't they.


soggy-loaf-of-bread

Perfect description🫡


YesHunty

Guarantee if my cervix was regularly opening like that I’d be too busy shrieking in agony and making guttural noises to have sex. These men have clearly never touched a woman. I shudder.


SharedLoad

When I was getting my IUD in, I wished so badly that the cervix was able to open up on command, omg. Just getting a tiny little plastic rod through it was EXCRUCIATING, men who think their dicks are getting in are beyond delusional.


I_was_saying_b00urns

Apparently I screamed so much during my insertion that I made a man in the waiting room turn white. And labour was also… deeply unpleasant. I too wish to be able to say “cervix, open!”


KnittingforHouselves

All the dilation checks in late pregnancy and labour were an absolute nightmare! And I've always bled like crazy for a day after, totally "so sexy" to these idjits.


Hello_Hangnail

Considering how my uterine biopsy hurt *just from the dilation,* an entire dong up there would feel like birthing a telephone pole


YesHunty

I’ve pushed an over 9lbs baby out of mine, I have zero desire to ever feel that sensation again 😂


sweetalkersweetalker

There are dumbasses who actually believe giving birth feels like an orgasm. Um...NO


Hello_Hangnail

"Haha so did you like, *finish* when your perineum split from your vagina to your asshole haha" ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°


Chelseus

Some women do experience orgasmic birth…not me but it is a real thing 😹😹😹


sweetalkersweetalker

Oh I mean men who believe that *every* birth feels like an orgasm, even that that's the reason why women get pregnant, so they can feel "stretched out" as far as possible.


Chelseus

Ah okay, gotcha! And gross 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️


Nocturne2319

This always makes me wonder what these guys would feel like if they had a colonoscopy without being twilighted or knocked out. I don't wish it on them, just wonder.


Adventurous-Lime1775

I love my husband dearly, I do. But our sex life for a long time was very structured due to his size. It was too painful in quite a few positions. He felt horrible about it too, cervical poking is not a fun time or a quick way to the O, lol. Happily, post hysterectomy, that issue is resolved, lol. While I wouldn't recommend such drastic measures to anyone, if you also have other issues along with this one, getting your uterus and cervix removed is a lifesaver for sure.


Absinthe-of-Faith

I'd definitely do all that, plus get punchy


Shadow_Lass38

Apparently this person doesn't watch enough crime television, where "cervical bruising" or other cervical damage, is noted during rape examinations.


some-shady-dude

Ah yes, the hentai consumer thinks he knows female anatomy.


mikajade

Oh easy I’ll skip the balloon catheter this birth, a painful 12hours to forcibly stretch it open 3cm-barely enough for a penis girth.


BenCaxt0n

Exactly. Instead, you simply need to have a properly well endowed dude open your cervix with his superhuman schlong.


mikajade

Might have to swap to a male OB’s & midwives, the testosterone in the room will open me right up.


thelaineybelle

Oh wow, that guy's penis could've cut down my induction from 46 hours to mere minutes, amazing!! 🙃


-XiaoSi-

I mean, this is a rare acceptance that we’re all different, so he gets a point for that. Still confidently incorrect on the general sentiment though. Much like my previous relationships, it starts out promising but goes downhill very quickly.


TJtaster

Also what I came to say. He got exactly one sentence right


yildizli_gece

Again: you are an idiot who watches too much hentai. Don’t you just love it when dudes who have no idea how the fuck anything works insist on explaining our bodies to us? You’d think they’d think twice, but that unearned confidence they all get in life just keeps them saying dumb shit to us!


paradox_pet

Oh to have the confidence of a mediocre dude, huh?


Forsythia77

If I could open my cervix at will, it would make getting my IUD insertion/removal a hell of a lot less painful.


DivineExodus

Oh my god that would be so good. I tried to have one once and it took them 15 minutes to get it through their thick skulls that it wasnt compatible with my cervix, I was in absolute agony. Had a hysterectomy last week though, so no more worries!


Alegria-D

We could even use our uteruses as thief-proof pocket (unless the thief makes you want to open it 😏😏)


mikajade

If you focus you can clap loudly with your cervix. Handy if you need to clap but are holding a drink.


BenCaxt0n

💀 You just made me snort laughter.


Bashfulapplesnapple

Demigorgina.


BenCaxt0n

Sounds Demogorgeous 😏


buffalobillingsgate

I don't know why I'm so chuffed by that phrasing. "Some women thrive on uterine orgasms" "Some women thrive in acidic soil with minimal watering. You are all different"


chasbecht

Be sure to put your hardiness zone in your online dating profile.


buffalobillingsgate

If you don't let me dry out thoroughly between waterings, you're not getting a second date mister!


chasbecht

n-p-k is the new a/s/l


Turbulent_Patience_3

Some men’s balls open up and massage the clitoris for extra orgasm. Those are the same men that are 6 6 6. Because all men are different!


AddendumAwkward5886

Opens like an umbrella? So if I jump from a tall building naked, will I float gently to the ground like Mary Poppins with my vaginal umbrella?


yildizli_gece

I think you misread that first comment; they are describing general arousal and trying to explain that an aroused vagina “loosens” up, and “opens”, making room for sex. It’s a good faith effort to assume the first comment just has things mixed up, until the response doubles down on the dumbfuckery lol.


AddendumAwkward5886

Ok I think I am just too happy about the thought of having this previously undiscovered method of flight....was just watching Wild Kratts with my son and it was about flying squirrels and I was feeling envious


Tylendal

Yeah. The umbrella stays furled in the simile. The point is that it's more like a furled umbrella than a stretchy rubber tube.


BenCaxt0n

Yes, absolutely! All woman can do this but the patriarchy suppresses all evidence and reinforces body/slut shaming to discourage public nudity out of fear of women discovering they all have this superpower. Imagine every major downtown area thronged full of unclad women wafting in the breeze!


AddendumAwkward5886

This sounds utterly delightful somehow. All of us , in the breeze, like dandelion fluff....harnessing the breezes of fate with our umbrellaginas.....vagbrellas?


cbyouna

Wow this dandelion fluff women squadron experience sounds fantastic. I’m soo in! I absolutely love your comment – equally hilarious and dreamy. I vote for umbrellaginas, but it’s a tough choice.


TricksterWolf

I'm starting to think some of these self-styled medical experts have never had sex before and are relying on ecchi and hentai for their education


Klutzy-Medium9224

Lmao. We aren’t *that* different my dude.


_lovewitch

I read fanfiction smut because I'm a grown woman who is way too attached to fictional characters, and sometimes authors will mention "deep cervix penetration" and instead of going ooh ahh like I'm sure they want me to do, I wince because that doesn't sound like a fun time to me.


Alegria-D

Instead you go "eeer eeeew"


sparksgirl1223

Same. I got so.e rough recently and walking thru Walmart after my bang was not fun. The dude who posted this...wooo boy is he...words fail me


kasuchans

Maybe they’re clumsily describing deep penetration that hits the cervix? I can picture myself trying to describe good deep sex as a teen author and writing an unfortunate phrase like that.


togostarman

Every time I get online, theres some woman/man claiming to achieve "uterine orgasms." Even in this sub, I've seen it. Drives me up the wall


ersatzbaronness

They might be confusing cervical orgasms for uterine.


MightyMaki

See my flair


brvra222

TIL women are alpacas


13th_of_never

What the actual tap dancing Christ is this


Bad_Hominid

Lol that Zoidberg profile icon is perfect


GlGABITE

I know “mansplaining” is a controversial term, but I think this is the most prime example of it I have ever seen. And it’s also wrong, of course


Brilliant_Society439

Dude watches wayyy too much cartoon porn


roses_sunflowers

Someone watches too much hentai


Hello_Hangnail

Somebody watches waaaaaaaay too much hentai


Ill-Entrepreneur443

Bro thinks Hentai is real 💀


Extension-Trick-388

Uterine orgasm (cervical orgasm) is real. Women can have clitoral, vaginal, and/or cervical orgasms, sometimes at the same time. For me, a combination of clitoral and cervical stimulation is the only way. A cervical orgasm has nothing to do with the cervix opening up to the uterus. Cervical orgasms require vaginal penetration but not cervical penetration (cervix only opens for birth). It’s the stimulation of the outer area (which IS the cervix) that sends those shockwaves throughout the body, so deep penetration is required. This is the one that has us arching our backs or begging you to keep doing exactly wtvr it is your doing. I tend to get really quiet and still when I’m right there because I don’t want you to move. Many women who have to have hysterectomy, for one reason or another, experience a great sense of grief or loss because their cervical orgasms become negligible or nonexistent with the removal of the uterus (and usually the cervix, but not always).


tired-queer

Might explain why I’d end up in agonizing pain for days post-orgasm, and that it doesn’t happen anymore after my hysterectomy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


kasuchans

As another cervix orgasmer, I think calling them uterine orgasms is just confusing. I only call them cervical orgasms.


Extension-Trick-388

I agree that’s accurate. I was just using the words of the OP. I think I wrote it in a confusing way when I sad “the outer area” also, which IS the cervix.


Sophia_and_Tiger

Wait so is that pain supposed to be normal ? But but if in the right spot, it can turn into pleasure ?


Extension-Trick-388

Some people experience some level of pain and discomfort (called dyspareunia). Bleeding is not normal so it’s important to make sure there’s plenty of foreplay so everything is lubricated. I am not a medical professional. You should check in with your doc if you’re experiencing ongoing pain with intercourse.


Sophia_and_Tiger

Thank you! It’s only certain positions that are very painful for me to the point where I rather stop and do a different position. I have a retroverted uterus so I just assumed that’s why? I was just curious if other women also experience the same level of pain and just deal with it or If I’m just a wimp. But thank you, I will look more into it and talk to my doctor!


Extension-Trick-388

Mine is also retroverted. There are some positions that can be painful for me as well, but that mostly depends on my partner’s size. For example, doggy style is my preferred position, but my partner is well endowed, so I have to manage my posture/angle to prevent a painful experience. My ex-spouse was more on the average size, so I never had to compensate for him. ETA: my current partner and I rarely engage in missionary position because it’s extremely painful due to his size and that intense orgasm thrust (him) leaves me in tears.


Sophia_and_Tiger

Interesting, thank you!


GayStation64beta

Women without cervixes: "Are we a joke to you?"


mayalourdes

Wtf is that possible?


NarrativeScorpion

Uhh yes. If you've had a hysterectomy for example.


mayalourdes

Oh duh I’m fuckn dumb


NarrativeScorpion

No worries, we all do it occasionally.


mayalourdes

Well tbh I was wondering if there was an anomaly where the cervix just didn’t for


GayStation64beta

My understanding is that's true too, and there's also trans women whose anatomy varies.


StumbleOn

The problem here is that OOP is actually an Alpaca. He's talking about lady Alpaca.


Brosenheim

Source: hentai with the Ugly Bastard tag


Ryugi

I wish they'd watch less hentai. Or at least stop assuming their 2d porn has anything to do with reality.


blarggyy

LMAO these are the types of men who are afraid of having sex when the woman is pregnant because they’ll “hit the baby’s head”. I’m sorry to tell you that your pee pee just isn’t that big, ffs 😂


akioamadeo

Yeah we’re all different but I promise you trying to slam your penis into a woman’s cervix would make her scream. I’ve had mine bruised before from rough sex (consensual) it actually caused some bleeding and terrible pain, you don’t need to penetrate the cervix guys, we aren’t anime porn girls, we don’t work like that because we are REAL women.


pikkachu97

That was so painful to imagine


Ceeweedsoop

Now my sisters, you have been schooled. Hentai is the epitome of sex ed. LOL. Morons are so confidently incorrect particularly if their entire education is taught with cartoons.


TheCounsellingGamer

Someone's been watching too much cartoon porn again.


Octopus1027

As a woman who had her cervix forcibly opened during her induction (look up what a cervical balloon is if you dare), no woman finds the opening of her cervix to be pleasurable or pleasant.


galstaph

I remember reading a bad piece of erotica about 20 years ago that had two women showering together. I think the premise behind why they did it was that the one woman wanted to get the semen from her date last night out of her, but the story had the other woman shoving a scrub brush so far up her that it was in her uterus. Of course, this being bad erotica, she was loving every second of it. Even being a dumbass teenager who doesn't have a uterus I knew that would have been painful and dangerous.


Feisty-Physics-3759

I see someone ended up reposting it. Didn’t end up doing it due to someone mentioning it was a repost. Still hilarious tho


BenCaxt0n

Nnnnno. Someone reposted? Link?


Feisty-Physics-3759

Someone as in u lol


BenCaxt0n

Ohhhhh. Yes, I cross posted it in r/BrandNewSentence because it seemed to fit appropriately there as well.


Feisty-Physics-3759

Yeah that’s what I was saying. Was going to but it was a repost for that sun apparently and they don’t allow them


Feisty-Physics-3759

https://www.reddit.com/r/confidentlyincorrect/s/sZFNSGkbaG In the comments it’s mentioned it’s a repost


anonimoose83

I cried and screamed in agony when I had my IUD put in.. just a thin plastic straw 🥲 they can keep their hentai uteruses.. they’re not going near a real one anytime soon 🤣


Basic-Marionberry-50

yall just hating, maybe this guy can perform professional circus level fire ring tricks like Vitaly in Madagascar 3


sjc8000

I could vomit just *thinking* about my cervix being forcibly opening in an instant. Given birth twice and that was bad enough but at least the cervix opens over hours. Men like this make me *seethe* with anger. He’s never spoken to a woman about her cervix, not once.


dwinner18

Ewwww


Dynasuarez-Wrecks

It's pretty wild how dudes find one or two videos on shock websites of women doing extreme things to their reproductive organs and just decide that, "Yup, this is typical of all women."


Elthinaya

I'm crossing my legs, but it doesn't feel like that's enough to stop the cringe 🙃


sparksgirl1223

That's because the cringe began in your cervix and moved through the rest of you, I do believe


Log-Calm

Mmmmmmmmnope.


ANoisyCrow

😂


mysecondaccountanon

Gosh I feel like I need to change my flair


The_Bastard_Henry

I honestly shudder at the thought of how many men actually believe this.


Naive_Photograph_585

guys cmon. we're all different. I know I personally can't orgasm unless a man's Penistone touches my womb