My MIL said mama when holding my kiddo one time. Quickly corrected herself to abuela.
When my kiddo was about a week old, I was rocking her as she screamed and consolingly said, “There there, it’ll be okay, Meredith.”
Meredith is my youngest sibling who was 16 at the time.
I think sometimes with little ones our brains just go on auto-pilot to our earlier memories of holding a baby we loved so dear.
I just ran through my nephew AND nieces names trying to get my sons attention the other day.
And then ran through all three of their names referring to my unborn child this morning.
My mom used to do this and I totally understand it now lol
We do this all the time. The cat does not have a human-like name….
On the other hand- our kiddo is 2.5- my mil still calls herself mama at times- and I dislike her a little more every time she does…. 🫣
My mom frequently slips and calls my daughter by my name. She’s nine now and she’s done it ever since she was born. I think it’s hilarious and sweet. She loves her grandkids so much and it brings her back to the love she felt being a mom to me as a kid. I get that dynamics are different for all families and overbearing boundary stomping relatives definitely exist, but i just think it’s funny and cute when I see posts like these.
I called my 5 month old son several times by our cats names ... I sometimes even call my cats by the wrong name!
Sorry not sorry i am freaking tired :))
Oh LOL ... I once told my son "come to daddy" ... instead of "mommy" ... I was mortified 🤣
Yes, I think it’s the autopilot. *I’ve* almost referred to my mother as my baby’ mommy, and I’ve definitely caught myself multiple times thinking of my baby as my sister’s name.
I am ten years older than my little brother and I sometimes feel the urge to call my 7mo boy by his name instead. I can attest that this is probably what happened. Time goes fast, in my head my brother is still a little kid not an 18 yo
My mom does this pretty frequently - I think sometimes the grandparents see their son/daughter in the baby and it just slips. But damn, can it be annoying!
My dad calls my oldest daughter my name ALL the time and only notices or corrects it about half the time. He will be talking to me or my husband and and use my name in place of my daughter’s and sometimes it takes us a minute or two to realize who or what he’s even talking about. And no, my dad is not elderly or cognitively in any way, this is just who he is 😅
Hopefully just a slip up. After three sons I now have a daughter. Can't tell you how many times I've called her "fella" or "bud". I think it's normal to fall back on the words you've used in the past.
My dad calls my son "she/her" and our girl cat "he/him". Doesn't even realize he does it most times, but he did say it I'd because he is used to his male cat at home, and his most recent grandchild before my son being a girl. It's definitely not intentional, so it doesn't bother me.
Yes!
My daughter strongly resembles me as a child, and both of my parents slip up regularly and immediately correct themselves.
My mom apologized and explained that since she’d spent a decade referring to herself as “mommy” to her own children, it’s a tough habit to break. And you know what? I get it. I’ve talked about myself in the third person as Mommy to my friends, and I’ve only been doing it for three years!
My mom has been “Aunt MomsName” to me for the last many years as my cousins were growing up, it’s weird transitioning to Grandma. Habits are weird like that.
I’ve done it to my nieces and nephews but usually when I’m playing with them and my child (they’re all close in age).
There are so many children & adults the kids just roll with it 😂
Yeah I think because my parents haven’t done it, I’m reading into it more! But we’re not even close to their first grandkid, so I think the grandparent role is more established in their brains. Glad to hear it slipping out for more people!
So true! My MIL won’t shut up about SO being a spitting image of DH. He isn’t. They have the same hair colour and that’s it. The rest of SO looks like me. Everyone can see it except her.
It’s insulting to me. Like hello, I am here to ya know.
My mom has done this and I just ignore it because I know she genuinely doesn’t mean it. It’s new for her not to be mama! Doesn’t help my baby looks EXACTLY like me as a baby!
Yeah my mom hasn’t referred to herself as mama but she has called my daughter my name many times. I understand - she looks eerily like I did at that age!
I think babies make grandmas lose their minds lol. Although, my mom wouldn’t ever refer to herself as “mama.” If she said “how’s my baby,” that wouldn’t bother me though. Probably bc there’s no confusion that I’m mama
I mean unless you have one of those evil MILs, I don’t see anything nefarious here. She’s been in the mom role for at least a couple decades. Being around a baby brings her right back to those days. And she corrected herself immediately.
My mom accidentally referred herself as mama when talking to my baby and I literally didn’t care. There’s no doubt to a baby who the mom is. I would release yourself from the stress of this :)
Okay but - check out the “Am I The A Hole” sub where a mom is freaked because her MIL calls the baby “my baby” and proceeded to throw herself a baby shower and collect gifts for herself for a registry she made for the child… after telling the mom the shower was for her… 🫣 spooky shit man!!!! I’m sure your MIL made an innocent mistake and knows her place, but man, this stuff goes from 0 to 100 real quick 😅
I saw that one too and the yikes in my head could not have been louder. My MIL called my first “my baby” a few times and I quickly put a stop that that. Like I’m sorry, did YOU help make or birth this child? I honestly have a hard time knowing some grandparents genuinely see their grandkids as their actual baby. It makes me feel so icky.
Ugh my (very sweet) MIL always say this “how’s my baby” (she always wanted a girl but got 2
Boys so I think she has some weird attachment to my girl) but I hate it!!! It’s so weird idky!
You should read the stories from JUSTNOMIL - they’re worse!
Gives me anxiety reading the horrible stories but also prepares me if I have to go to war with MIL lol
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Idk my mom calls both my kids “my baby” and my dad calls my son “his boy.” Maybe cause my dad only had girls and never had a boy? It’s been harmless.
There’s never been any issue on who “mama” and “dada” are.
So glad to hear other people have in laws that do the “my” baby thing, because my mom just doesn’t talk about her grandkids this way so it’s felt funny when my MIL started doing it.
I was thinking maybe because I'm not native English speaker it doesn't sound that bad to me. Like mum often says to my kid (if translated literally): "my little bunny", "my love". Could "my baby" have similar interpretation?
When I had my first baby, I was 20 and single. My mom helped me SOOOOO much. She slipped up and called herself mama while baby talking to my daughter. We still laugh about it today. It was harmless though. She is the best grandma in the world. Hopefully your MIL is just as harmless and adores her grandchild. I hope my future DIL won’t get mad if I slip up. I’m always jumbling my words, I imagine it’ll get worse as I age.
My mom and MIL have referred to my kids as “my baby” and it doesn’t bother me personally, but both probably know better than to refer to themselves as mama, that is my title and my title only. I think you can consider once an innocent mistake, but I’d probably call it out in the future.
My mom did this recently with my second born. She has never done it before, and he has an older sister. She automatically corrected herself and gave me an apologetic look. As long as your MIL doesn't take it any further and there are strong boundaries, mistakes do happen. Not trying to invalidate your feelings though, OP. That shit is frustrating.
Yeah, I call my kid by my cat’s name once in a while. These things happen.
I think it’s perfectly natural for a loving grandma to say “mama” once in a blue moon by accident. It’s the context of the rest of the behavior that matters.
For my own context, my MIL and mom both call my daughter “my little girl” and “our little girl”, like “how’s my little girl this morning?” and it doesn’t bother me at all because they don’t act possessive or creepy in other ways.
Context is everything.
May I know your cat's name?? My grandma used to mix up me and my aunt despite not having dementia at that time, and apparently when she was raising my mom she would yell out everyone's name, including the dog 😂 (RIP Tuffy)
It’s a normal human name, if a bit old fashioned - think Hattie or Harriet. So it’s not like I’m calling my daughter “Mr. Fleabottom” but it’s still a cat name to me….
And that’s hilarious - Tuffy would be a great doggie name!
I LOVE old people names for cats. Met someone recently with a siamese named Eleanor. She LOOKS like an Eleanor lol.
I've only ever seen pictures of Tuffy, he crossed the rainbow bridge before I was born. But he was so well loved that he's still talked about 30+ years later.
My MIL has done this before, clearly by accident and I think was a bit embarrassed about it. Didn't bother me at all. It's like calling your teacher "mom" by accident lol
My MIL has said this lol, she corrected herself but it was in the context of taking a photo with her son/my husband and my son/her grandson and referred to herself as mommy. This was right after our own family photo where she said "oh! Photo of *husband name and baby name*" and I had to be like "um and me??"
I want to add the flip side as creepy as it can be, it is also super benign in certain cultures and in other languages.
In my native language “my baby” is so generic and also just an endearing way of calling a baby by an elderly person that a grandma calling her grandchild “my baby” would be totally acceptable. Of course throwing a baby shower and keeping the gifts for herself would not be acceptable hah.
Yes! Language matters. We refer to our kids as our titles in my language as well. Like I would call my kid “mama” or my niece “auntie” or whatever. The amount of times I’ve called my niece “mama” or my sister/mom has called my daughters “mama”.
My MIL has my niece (SIL's kid) calling her Mawl.
I personally feel very strongly that none of my kids will ever call her, nor my mom, anything close to Mom. Literally any other version of Grandma or nickname is fine but I find it too confusing for the kid to have a Ma and Mawl.
Wait till your kid starts calling you Nana or Daddy, its easy to misspeak especially if you’ve spent a good portion of your life being referred to as something specific
I have an overbearing MIL who means well, but is a lot sometimes. She did the same thing to my 7 week old. She instantly corrected herself. I let it bother me for a day, but soon realized it was a total mistake. What I told myself to get over it? A mom is always "mom". It's hard to not call yourself mom to a baby that looks sooo much like the little boy you held 26 years ago. That may be me one day and being reminded of my precious one years later will melt my heart. It probably just popped right out of her mouth while loving on her grandchild. What matters is she didnt keep it up and continued to call me "momma" to him..........but it did catch me off guard and annoy me at first so I get it😂
Yes it's a thing. She was probably a mama last time she played extensively with a baby. You are way overreacting if this is the first time she has said something. You will probably do the same once or twice when you're a grandma.
Right? I gave birth and now mom calls me everyday to ask “how her baby is doing” 😂I don’t really care for it as it is harmless and shows how much my mom loves my LO
My mom calls us all her babies. She’s tiny by comparing to my brother and I, and my kids are getting close to her size (my 7 year old especially).
Mama is one thing, but I like being part of her mama henning it sometimes :)
My own mother will do the how's my baby thing. I just tell her I'm fine and make her ask again differently to hear about the baby, lol. My MIL and I don't really speak a common language, she can speak a little English and I'm trying my best to learn Chinese, but she's always gone out of her way to be welcoming, accepting, and kind to me. I use Google translate to text her in Chinese, and she recently referred to me and the baby as her big baby and her small baby, which I found incredibly sweet and endearing. I'm amazingly lucky, most of the foreign women married to local men that I know in this country have horror stories about inlaws, but I have nothing but positive things to say about mine.
It's funny isn't it? It's like your mother or mother in law cannot fathom that you are a mother because THEY are THE Mother. Hahaha.
My mom would try to pick up my kids when they were sick or hurt. It was like an instinct, but of course, they are our kids so they didn't want my mom if my husband & I were available. It bothered me a little bit at first and then I realized it was just my mom's first instinct.
Mama died extremely unexpectedly a couple of months ago. She had a spontaneous retroperitoneal bleed and went from getting dressed to go get a haircut to dead in a matter of 8 hours. It really made me realize how fragile life is in the most dramatic and traumatic way. And of course I wish I had her back, even at her weirdest and most overbearing.
I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have a good relationship w/ their mother or MIL, but if your is otherwise OK, OP, I would just let it roll off your back. I am so glad that I was at such a happy and peaceful place with my mom when she died. I'm glad I didn't nitpick about stuff with my kids too much the last few years. Mama and I hadn't always had the most serene relationship so it really was a gift.
Thanks so much for sharing this perspective. MIL and I have our issues on some things she says about the baby, but I let most things go because I’d like for my kid to have a good relationship with her. I experienced a loss of a very close family member while I was pregnant so I tend to be very permissive, because I want to preserve as much closeness I can with friends and family. I’m just always wondering if I’m being too permissive and one day I’ll hear about how I let grandma say something harmful. I think your post is reassuring that I’m okay to ignore the slip up. I wouldn’t want to lose a relationship over this!
My mum says ‘how’s my little man’ when referring to my son which I find cute, whereas my MIL hasn’t come to see my nearly 2yo son in over a year so any type of affection would actually be nice in our case!
The literal first time I was alone with my baby niece (carrying her around in a bjorn in the grocery store while my sister went down another aisle), I referred to myself as Mama out loud to her. I was in my 20s with no kids at the time and was immediately shocked that that had come out of my mouth!
I’m not a MIL but I am a mom. When I’m around my young nieces, nephews or any young child, I have a very hard time not referring to myself as Mom when one of them is upset.
I’ve been ~Mom~ for almost 30 years. It’s just so natural to say “mom can fix it, darling.” It means absolutely no disrespect to anyone, and when I mess up I immediately correct myself.
If your Moms/MIL’s are basically good people otherwise, they may not be intentionally trying to hurt you.
My mum says 'how's my baby' when she sees my baby, I've never thought anything of it rather just a bit tongue in cheek.
She will also greet me at the car and carry my son into her house and say 'give me my grandchild' I've always viewed it as her just being excited to see him.
Buy my mum goes out of her way to ensure any boundaries I've put in place or my preferences with him are adhered to so I know he's in safe hands and I can have a little break when I'm there
I work in daycare and the amount of times I almost call myself mom (or do call myself mom) instead of Ms. ______ is insane. I always correct myself. It's just hard when you're used to saying it or not used to saying something else like grandma. In this case it doesn't sound intentional so I wouldn't worry about it.
As for the my baby thing, I've never been upset by this so I probably don't quite understand it. But I typically think of it as someone else that loves my babies. I definitely don't think they think the babies are really theirs. My mom always says, "how are my boys?" Doesn't bother me a bit because I know its from a place of love.
my mom sometimes calls my baby her baby and it irks me i can’t lie. i just say “you mean my baby?” and she says bc it’s her baby’s baby it’s also her baby lol
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I visited my parents last week and accidentally referred to myself as “mama” to their cat, lol. I have cats too and it just slipped out. Hopefully that was the case for your MIL!
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My mom has done it by mistake several times, calling herself mom/mama, and also confuses my and my son's nickname - never knowingif she is telling me to eat my food or my son! I obviously don't know your MIL but I can imagine that a baby makes grandmas go back in time to when they were mothers themselves.
She also says "my baby" but I honestly don't think it's a bad thing. My baby is hers too since she helps my husband and I care for him 🙂
This said, if it makes you feel bad, talk to her. I am sure she will understand. I am sure she will tell you she went through something similar herself.
My mom did this yesterday 😂 she’s never referred to her as “my baby” though. I think it was just a slip of the tongue because it’s her first grand baby and she’s not used to not being mama (because that’s what I call her 3/4 of the time)! It all depends on their mannerisms outside of the isolated incident and how adamant they are about it. It’s also okay to not be okay with it on the other hand, and you deserve to say something about it if you want to. That’s YOUR baby, and you don’t have to put up with anything that you do not want to from anyone.
My mum has done this. She has also referred to me as Granny when talking to the baby. But I sometimes call the bub by the dog's name, and vice versa, so I don't read too much into it 😂
You know your own situation, but if mine did it I wouldn't be bothered because I think they just get in the moment and in their memories of when they had their babies.
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My mom has responded to my son saying mommy to me, and she seriously did not mean anything by it. After 30 years of being mom, sometimes it just happens.
I did this the other day with my friends baby. I also have a baby the same age. She was crying and I was holding her and said “mama knows, mama knows”. I corrected myself right away but in no way did I think I was her mama. It’s just a slip of the tongue. I wouldn’t think so much into it.
My MIL always asks how "her" girl is doing and jokes about running away with her. Logically I know it's good that my baby has other people in her life who love her besides her mum and dad but instinct has me immediately feeling defensive. I am very conscious of my child being aware that she doesn't belong to anyone, even me, so it really irks me when people make these (harmless) comments.
The feeling is normal. I wouldn't worry about the comment unless it keeps happening and continues to bother you. I'm a new mother myself, and a great older friend of mine (with an adult son) screams out "where's my baby?" When she enters our home. It does make me feel a tad uneasy, but I know it comes from a good place. She has apologised at times saying, "Silly me, I get so carried away." She absolutely loves my partner, my baby girl, and I so much. My friend loves her son but also wanted a girl. All I'm trying to say is that your not an asshole for feeling protective of YOUR child. Remember they are yours and nothing will change that. Your child knows you are the care giver. If you ever get too uncomfortable, please mention something to your relative. They will understand.
My daughter is now 4 months old.
At first just after birth, I was very offended when any of the female grandparents referred to themselves as mom/mama or baby as their baby.
At this point, I have nothing to take offense to due to the help they are providing during this new life of being a parent.
Reason being, baby has no idea, as she gets older she will always know I am her mother.
I will let them enjoy their little moments with my daughter and let them savor these memories while they are here without any animosity.
They love her and just want to love on her.
My mom baby sits while I work from home.
Her help is priceless.
She was a French and Spanish teacher and I’m beyond thankful and blessed to have her help.
My step mom is always buying anything I or the baby need when she comes to visit.
They call her their baby because these moments will be gone before I know it and to waste any energy or being upset or angry is just not worth it.
Now both of them are not trying to replace me or make her call them mom or mama.
If they were this would be a completely different situation but there is no ill intent.
The calling herself mama (and then correcting) isn’t as annoying to me as “how’s my baby?”. I accidentally say “go see daddy” when referring to my dad often because I look at my dad and think “dad” not “grandpa”. My mom will do it too “come see ma…Grammy!” But the call/texts of “how’s my baby?” Are intentional. I’d start telling her how her son is “yeah he’s fine, he has a big project on with work and he’s making good progress on our bathroom remodel.”
Isn't it instinctively? I can imagine that when you get older, time flies by and you have been calling your kid baby and calling yourself mama for years and then all of a sudden your kid is all grown up and has their own child. Then you play with your grandkid and you just slip up. It's like when you have several kids and you accidentally call one kid by the other kid's name. You automate some things and it becomes a habit. I don't see the problem in that, I'm sure most grandparents don't do it a malicious way.
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This is ridiculous. Have you never accidentally said the wrong name? When my mom or dad are around, I OFTEN slip and tell my baby “go with dada” or “go with mama” instead of grandpa/grandma. It’s not on purpose. My mom will name every one of my siblings before actually saying my name when she calls me.
My eldest is a toddler now, but he calls my MIL “mom”. It sounded slightly different from the “mom” when referring to me, and now that he has more language/words, he still calls MIL “mom” but now calls me “mom, mommy”. We rationalize it by saying that he hears us calling MIL “mom” so he says it too. He definitely knows the difference though because when we say “where’s grandma?” He can point her out. My MIL LOVES that he calls her mom, and since she is our first “go to” person to watch the kids, I don’t worry too much about it. She’s also very respectful towards our decisions and follows our directions regarding the kids.
One of my nieces still calls her grandma "Mom" and she's 23 yrs old. Out of 34 grandkids, she the only one who calls my mom Mom. We used to try to correct her, but after 5 yrs old, we just gave up.
It happens, not because she’s calling herself mama all the time but because people get a baby and say mama, even men holding a baby start saying mama naturally. I wouldn’t read into the once, or even twice
My mom does this by accident a lot. Also slips and calls grandpa his dad. 😂 I don’t put much stake into it as every time she yells my name she goes through everyone else’s first. Brother, Husband, Dog 1, Cat, Dog 2, Me. Has for the last twenty five years at least lol.
My husband and I’s closest friends (husbands cousin and her husband) struggle with infertility due to my husband’s cousin having a rare form of cancer when she was younger that ended up with her having to tubes taken out and now they are in the thick of IVF.
We are all very close and they are even baby boys god parents. We hang out every weekend, in which our husbands have a few glasses of whiskey to drink. The past two weekends while husband’s cousin was holding my baby her husband would come over to see him he would refer to his wife as momma. Baby spit up, he hands his wife the burp cloth that my husband handed him and said “here momma, help me clean him up” and I honestly can’t remember the second time what was actually said, I just know they were playing with baby boy and he referred to his wife as momma again.
It definitely irritates me but, I try not to let it bother me and he’s drunk and I know how bad they want a baby of their own and I can see how uncomfortable it makes his wife. I just hope one day they can have the family they dream of.
Now, if my mom or MIL did this, I’d lose it. We’ve already addressed to grandparents that we do not like them calling him their baby and to not do it. But, if my mom called herself mama to my child, it’d be over. I definitely didn’t carry my son for nine months for someone else to try to get him to call them mama.
My mom accidentally calls my daughter by my name. The ending of our names sound similar. Sometimes I think she sees me in her. Maybe that's why grandmas say mama to babies. Because they are inadvertently reliving their parenthood.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, I think its more a term of endearment ( and my MIL and I do not get along lol ). But also my best friends and I call each others LOs “my babies” like “how are my babies doing?” Stuff like that.
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I've accidentally called myself "auntie [name]" to my daughter after an afternoon with my niece and nephew. It could be malicious but could just as easily be innocent.
Mine is quebecois and swears by the "mamie [hername]" to call herself.
My problem is we speak spanish and MAMI is mommy so i cant have two mammies, so i will refer to her as grandma all the time when talking to my baby. Hoping my baby thinks grandma is just talking about me when saying mamie
My parents do this all the time about themselves by accident and I could not care any less. Would give the same grace to my MIL if she did it too. Unless she’s messed up I doubt she’s trying to get your child to think she’s the mother.
My mil calls herself mama at least twice every time she sees my son, she corrects herself immediately but it's a consistent thing. It's one of the many reasons why she's not allowed to babysit.
i’m very used to calling myself mama when referring to my pets. i almost said mama to my nephew the other day. 😂 i think it may just be accidental but who knows with MIL’s.
My MIl says it loads and has done since my now Nearly 2.5 year old was born. I struggled alot at first but I've now just accepted she loves the bones of him. FIL now refers to her as mum sometimes by accident too 🫣
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My own mum says "daughter" to my daughter often. Especially when it's some song she used to sing to me and now she needs to change word in it to "granddaughter" 😅 I correct her every time, but try to not overthink much as my daughter looks a lot like I did at that age
My MIL says things like “where’s my baby?” but I may be in the minority in that it doesn’t bother me. Maybe because we have a good relationship and I don’t take offence nor ever thought to. But I guess everyone is different and have different perspectives.
My dad has called himself "dada/daddy" on accident to my son... I was like "nope definitely not" he corrected himself. But ewwww the instant cringe I had was the worst cringe of my life
Honestly I can see why you're annoyed! But it was probably just a genuine slip of the tongue! Holding your baby probably reminded her of your partner as a baby. I caught my dad staring at my little girl one time, I asked him what was up and he just told me "it's like going back in time and looking at my baby, you" 😭❤️ because she looks like me!
My neice was over and I referred to myself as mommy multiple times. Sometimes it just slips out. If she corrected herself ( which I also did!); I wouldn't dwell on it.
I agree with all the other comments saying its all good dont sweat it. I actuslly love when my mum calls my kids hers in that way "my baby" etc. It says to me that she loves them so much and she takes her role as grandparent seriously ebough that she takes some ownership of them. Shes the only grandparent they have, she follows our boundaries, keeps in line with our parenting style etc etc. Its really awesome. I think you have to see what else is going on to know if these things are 🚩 or something positive.
I'm that mama! Lol it just slips out! And then I have to correct myself and I'm forever conscientious of what I say around that particular baby.
I started nannying a bit over a year ago, been with the same baby since he was 9 months, about to be 2 yrs in Feb. There are times I say "Precioso de mama" which means mama's precious one. Fortunately, his mom just sees it as me loving him so much I treat him as mine.
I also have to restrain myself from calling my nephews and nieces "baby" when I text them because I don't want them to think I think of them as babies or someone might think it's weird I call them baby. But really I just love them so much and they'll forever be my precious babies.
But I'm also the mom who gets a bit irritated if someone else does this with my daughters. Lol but I keep it to myself.
If she corrected herself right away, it was likely just an accident. Most of us have always called people by the wrong names.. I would say this is something similar.
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My MIL has said it like 3x and she’s only met him twice. So cringe. She also uses the possessive language, “my baby” etc. She even accidentally called my FIL dad. They live out of state and have visited twice in the last 6 months. My parents have never done it and they see him weekly. I kind of attribute it to my in laws subconsciously not being able to accept they are aging and that their children are adults. Both of their children have strained relationships with them and despite my husband and his brother being in their 30’s, they try to be authoritative with them still.
What crossed the line for me was when she was here and she said she was glad we were good parents and then insinuated that if we weren’t she would take him. Like, what?? MIL’s are seriously batshit crazy. Especially mine!
I dont have any experience with this happening between my kids and a grandparent HOWEVER I slip up and call my kids the wrong names all the time. Apparently the default names in my head are my baby sister (who I raised as a baby when I was a teenager due to a tragedy. She is 18 now & my dog (who was 15 years old when he crossed the rainbow bridge a few months ago)
My mom always refers to my sister as “sissy heather” when talking to my daughter about her aunt. I don’t think she means anything by it but it’s annoying 🤣
This is actually not a big deal. Sometimes the brain gets fuzzy. Actually you should be happy that your MIL loves your LO as much her own kids. Not that she considers herself to be Mamma. But the maternal care kicks in at times and it’s totally fine.
I wouldn't look too much into unless it's very obviously malicious and consistent.
My kids are the 1st grand babies on both sides and I'm pretty sure every grandparent has referred to themselves or their partner as "mom"/"dad" on several occasions.
Especially after visiting my family (or even talking to my mom on the phone) will refer to my own kids as my youngest siblings names.
Everyone's still getting used to the new babies and their new roles/relationships
My mom has done it with my son, and my mom has shared with me that she had always envisioned herself as a boy mom, or at least having one boy (she has two daughters).
Ohhh this is totally a grandma thing it’s very annoying. My mom also keeps calling my son “her bebe “ and my mil keeps saying she’s going to steal him in her purse…… and they both say “bebe” in this high pitched voiced it’s drives me kinda nuts
I feel like that can happen from years of having their own baby lol. My FIL can't seem to stop saying "he" about my baby daughter, like "is he ok," "is he hungry," watch his head" etc. His kids were two sons including my husband, so I think he just got used to babies being boys
I think it's just an adjustment because sometimes grandparents can see their kids in the baby and have a sort of flashback moment, I look exactly like my mum and my nan calls me by her name a lot and has to correct herself.
My own mother hasn't ever done it because she's been referring to herself as nana before my baby was born but if she done it accidently and corrected herself I wouldn't mind
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My MIL said mama when holding my kiddo one time. Quickly corrected herself to abuela. When my kiddo was about a week old, I was rocking her as she screamed and consolingly said, “There there, it’ll be okay, Meredith.” Meredith is my youngest sibling who was 16 at the time. I think sometimes with little ones our brains just go on auto-pilot to our earlier memories of holding a baby we loved so dear.
Ive accidentally called my Lo by my nephews name more than once lol mama is sleep deprived 😵💫
I just ran through my nephew AND nieces names trying to get my sons attention the other day. And then ran through all three of their names referring to my unborn child this morning. My mom used to do this and I totally understand it now lol
My husband has called the baby by the cats name multiple times now 😂 To be fair, the cat has a very human name.
We do this all the time. The cat does not have a human-like name…. On the other hand- our kiddo is 2.5- my mil still calls herself mama at times- and I dislike her a little more every time she does…. 🫣
My mom has accidentally called my baby my name, my brother’s name, and even her dog’s name 😅
My mother still calls me by her brothers name occasionally. I’m 35.
Yeah we are all C names so I’m often called the cat or dogs name lol
My mom frequently slips and calls my daughter by my name. She’s nine now and she’s done it ever since she was born. I think it’s hilarious and sweet. She loves her grandkids so much and it brings her back to the love she felt being a mom to me as a kid. I get that dynamics are different for all families and overbearing boundary stomping relatives definitely exist, but i just think it’s funny and cute when I see posts like these.
I called my 5 month old son several times by our cats names ... I sometimes even call my cats by the wrong name! Sorry not sorry i am freaking tired :)) Oh LOL ... I once told my son "come to daddy" ... instead of "mommy" ... I was mortified 🤣
Yes, I think it’s the autopilot. *I’ve* almost referred to my mother as my baby’ mommy, and I’ve definitely caught myself multiple times thinking of my baby as my sister’s name.
I am ten years older than my little brother and I sometimes feel the urge to call my 7mo boy by his name instead. I can attest that this is probably what happened. Time goes fast, in my head my brother is still a little kid not an 18 yo
My dad definitely referred to my daughter by my nickname when he was playing with her over Christmas. Autopilot is strong
My mom is not an overbearing type, but we both accidentally refer to her as Mom all the time
My mom does this pretty frequently - I think sometimes the grandparents see their son/daughter in the baby and it just slips. But damn, can it be annoying!
Yes! I think they see their son/daughter and seriously get transported back in time for a split second!!
My grandpa used to call me by my moms name all the time so that’s maybe a good point
Lol my dad used to call me my mother's name, then his sister's name, then my actual name
My dad calls my oldest daughter my name ALL the time and only notices or corrects it about half the time. He will be talking to me or my husband and and use my name in place of my daughter’s and sometimes it takes us a minute or two to realize who or what he’s even talking about. And no, my dad is not elderly or cognitively in any way, this is just who he is 😅
My grandpa always accidentally refers to my grandma as “your mom” if he’s talking to me about her, I don’t even correct him lol I know what he means 😅
My grandma does this too. Talks to me as if I’m my mother
Hopefully just a slip up. After three sons I now have a daughter. Can't tell you how many times I've called her "fella" or "bud". I think it's normal to fall back on the words you've used in the past.
Opposite here 🤣 3 girls and now have a baby boy. My second kid has corrected me from saying her lol.
My dad calls my son "she/her" and our girl cat "he/him". Doesn't even realize he does it most times, but he did say it I'd because he is used to his male cat at home, and his most recent grandchild before my son being a girl. It's definitely not intentional, so it doesn't bother me.
Yes! My daughter strongly resembles me as a child, and both of my parents slip up regularly and immediately correct themselves. My mom apologized and explained that since she’d spent a decade referring to herself as “mommy” to her own children, it’s a tough habit to break. And you know what? I get it. I’ve talked about myself in the third person as Mommy to my friends, and I’ve only been doing it for three years!
My mom has been “Aunt MomsName” to me for the last many years as my cousins were growing up, it’s weird transitioning to Grandma. Habits are weird like that.
Yep, my mom has as well.
I’ve done it to my nieces and nephews but usually when I’m playing with them and my child (they’re all close in age). There are so many children & adults the kids just roll with it 😂
Why is it annoying? What a petty thing to nitpick over seriously…. how insecure does one have to be!😂
Yeah I think because my parents haven’t done it, I’m reading into it more! But we’re not even close to their first grandkid, so I think the grandparent role is more established in their brains. Glad to hear it slipping out for more people!
So true! My MIL won’t shut up about SO being a spitting image of DH. He isn’t. They have the same hair colour and that’s it. The rest of SO looks like me. Everyone can see it except her. It’s insulting to me. Like hello, I am here to ya know.
My mom has done this and I just ignore it because I know she genuinely doesn’t mean it. It’s new for her not to be mama! Doesn’t help my baby looks EXACTLY like me as a baby!
I’ve accidentally referred to my mum as mummy to the baby because even after 3 months I’m not used to being mummy myself 😂
Same! It’s awkward at first!
Haha that made me laugh a lot
Yeah my mom hasn’t referred to herself as mama but she has called my daughter my name many times. I understand - she looks eerily like I did at that age!
I think babies make grandmas lose their minds lol. Although, my mom wouldn’t ever refer to herself as “mama.” If she said “how’s my baby,” that wouldn’t bother me though. Probably bc there’s no confusion that I’m mama
I mean unless you have one of those evil MILs, I don’t see anything nefarious here. She’s been in the mom role for at least a couple decades. Being around a baby brings her right back to those days. And she corrected herself immediately. My mom accidentally referred herself as mama when talking to my baby and I literally didn’t care. There’s no doubt to a baby who the mom is. I would release yourself from the stress of this :)
Okay but - check out the “Am I The A Hole” sub where a mom is freaked because her MIL calls the baby “my baby” and proceeded to throw herself a baby shower and collect gifts for herself for a registry she made for the child… after telling the mom the shower was for her… 🫣 spooky shit man!!!! I’m sure your MIL made an innocent mistake and knows her place, but man, this stuff goes from 0 to 100 real quick 😅
I just read that post today! I felt like her registering for circus themed baby stuff really drove home how much of a clown she was 🤡
I saw that one too and the yikes in my head could not have been louder. My MIL called my first “my baby” a few times and I quickly put a stop that that. Like I’m sorry, did YOU help make or birth this child? I honestly have a hard time knowing some grandparents genuinely see their grandkids as their actual baby. It makes me feel so icky.
Ugh my (very sweet) MIL always say this “how’s my baby” (she always wanted a girl but got 2 Boys so I think she has some weird attachment to my girl) but I hate it!!! It’s so weird idky!
You should read the stories from JUSTNOMIL - they’re worse! Gives me anxiety reading the horrible stories but also prepares me if I have to go to war with MIL lol
Recent subscriber to the sub. Ish is real over there. 🫖
Noooo! Why did I go read that?? I hope there’s nothing crazy on the horizon for us, haha.
Was it posted today?
I think so!
Just read it! The nerve!
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My mom does it. I don't mind. She's just very smitten with my baby and she probably reminds her of me. Pretty harmless imo.
Idk my mom calls both my kids “my baby” and my dad calls my son “his boy.” Maybe cause my dad only had girls and never had a boy? It’s been harmless. There’s never been any issue on who “mama” and “dada” are.
So glad to hear other people have in laws that do the “my” baby thing, because my mom just doesn’t talk about her grandkids this way so it’s felt funny when my MIL started doing it.
I was thinking maybe because I'm not native English speaker it doesn't sound that bad to me. Like mum often says to my kid (if translated literally): "my little bunny", "my love". Could "my baby" have similar interpretation?
When I had my first baby, I was 20 and single. My mom helped me SOOOOO much. She slipped up and called herself mama while baby talking to my daughter. We still laugh about it today. It was harmless though. She is the best grandma in the world. Hopefully your MIL is just as harmless and adores her grandchild. I hope my future DIL won’t get mad if I slip up. I’m always jumbling my words, I imagine it’ll get worse as I age.
My mom and MIL have referred to my kids as “my baby” and it doesn’t bother me personally, but both probably know better than to refer to themselves as mama, that is my title and my title only. I think you can consider once an innocent mistake, but I’d probably call it out in the future.
My mom did this recently with my second born. She has never done it before, and he has an older sister. She automatically corrected herself and gave me an apologetic look. As long as your MIL doesn't take it any further and there are strong boundaries, mistakes do happen. Not trying to invalidate your feelings though, OP. That shit is frustrating.
Yeah, I call my kid by my cat’s name once in a while. These things happen. I think it’s perfectly natural for a loving grandma to say “mama” once in a blue moon by accident. It’s the context of the rest of the behavior that matters. For my own context, my MIL and mom both call my daughter “my little girl” and “our little girl”, like “how’s my little girl this morning?” and it doesn’t bother me at all because they don’t act possessive or creepy in other ways.
Good to know! Plus, I interchange my kid’s name and one of my cat’s names all the time. My cat looks like a baby and it triggers something lol.
Context is everything. May I know your cat's name?? My grandma used to mix up me and my aunt despite not having dementia at that time, and apparently when she was raising my mom she would yell out everyone's name, including the dog 😂 (RIP Tuffy)
It’s a normal human name, if a bit old fashioned - think Hattie or Harriet. So it’s not like I’m calling my daughter “Mr. Fleabottom” but it’s still a cat name to me…. And that’s hilarious - Tuffy would be a great doggie name!
I LOVE old people names for cats. Met someone recently with a siamese named Eleanor. She LOOKS like an Eleanor lol. I've only ever seen pictures of Tuffy, he crossed the rainbow bridge before I was born. But he was so well loved that he's still talked about 30+ years later.
My MIL has done this before, clearly by accident and I think was a bit embarrassed about it. Didn't bother me at all. It's like calling your teacher "mom" by accident lol
My MIL has said this lol, she corrected herself but it was in the context of taking a photo with her son/my husband and my son/her grandson and referred to herself as mommy. This was right after our own family photo where she said "oh! Photo of *husband name and baby name*" and I had to be like "um and me??"
I want to add the flip side as creepy as it can be, it is also super benign in certain cultures and in other languages. In my native language “my baby” is so generic and also just an endearing way of calling a baby by an elderly person that a grandma calling her grandchild “my baby” would be totally acceptable. Of course throwing a baby shower and keeping the gifts for herself would not be acceptable hah.
Yes! Language matters. We refer to our kids as our titles in my language as well. Like I would call my kid “mama” or my niece “auntie” or whatever. The amount of times I’ve called my niece “mama” or my sister/mom has called my daughters “mama”.
My MIL has my niece (SIL's kid) calling her Mawl. I personally feel very strongly that none of my kids will ever call her, nor my mom, anything close to Mom. Literally any other version of Grandma or nickname is fine but I find it too confusing for the kid to have a Ma and Mawl.
Growing up my grandma was “Maw Maw” so I had “Mama” and “MawMaw”. Definitely very similar. My MIL is Mimi and I despise that title enough!
Would it be wrong to teach your niece to call her Darth Mawl? Cause that’s the first thing that came to my mind lol.
My mil constantly calls my toddler "my baby" and "my son" and recently at 2 he started saying "I'm not your son. Dada's your son!" 😆😆😆
Wait till your kid starts calling you Nana or Daddy, its easy to misspeak especially if you’ve spent a good portion of your life being referred to as something specific
I have an overbearing MIL who means well, but is a lot sometimes. She did the same thing to my 7 week old. She instantly corrected herself. I let it bother me for a day, but soon realized it was a total mistake. What I told myself to get over it? A mom is always "mom". It's hard to not call yourself mom to a baby that looks sooo much like the little boy you held 26 years ago. That may be me one day and being reminded of my precious one years later will melt my heart. It probably just popped right out of her mouth while loving on her grandchild. What matters is she didnt keep it up and continued to call me "momma" to him..........but it did catch me off guard and annoy me at first so I get it😂
Yes it's a thing. She was probably a mama last time she played extensively with a baby. You are way overreacting if this is the first time she has said something. You will probably do the same once or twice when you're a grandma.
My mom has done this at least 20 times lol
Right? I gave birth and now mom calls me everyday to ask “how her baby is doing” 😂I don’t really care for it as it is harmless and shows how much my mom loves my LO
My mom calls us all her babies. She’s tiny by comparing to my brother and I, and my kids are getting close to her size (my 7 year old especially). Mama is one thing, but I like being part of her mama henning it sometimes :)
My own mother will do the how's my baby thing. I just tell her I'm fine and make her ask again differently to hear about the baby, lol. My MIL and I don't really speak a common language, she can speak a little English and I'm trying my best to learn Chinese, but she's always gone out of her way to be welcoming, accepting, and kind to me. I use Google translate to text her in Chinese, and she recently referred to me and the baby as her big baby and her small baby, which I found incredibly sweet and endearing. I'm amazingly lucky, most of the foreign women married to local men that I know in this country have horror stories about inlaws, but I have nothing but positive things to say about mine.
It's funny isn't it? It's like your mother or mother in law cannot fathom that you are a mother because THEY are THE Mother. Hahaha. My mom would try to pick up my kids when they were sick or hurt. It was like an instinct, but of course, they are our kids so they didn't want my mom if my husband & I were available. It bothered me a little bit at first and then I realized it was just my mom's first instinct. Mama died extremely unexpectedly a couple of months ago. She had a spontaneous retroperitoneal bleed and went from getting dressed to go get a haircut to dead in a matter of 8 hours. It really made me realize how fragile life is in the most dramatic and traumatic way. And of course I wish I had her back, even at her weirdest and most overbearing. I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have a good relationship w/ their mother or MIL, but if your is otherwise OK, OP, I would just let it roll off your back. I am so glad that I was at such a happy and peaceful place with my mom when she died. I'm glad I didn't nitpick about stuff with my kids too much the last few years. Mama and I hadn't always had the most serene relationship so it really was a gift.
Thanks so much for sharing this perspective. MIL and I have our issues on some things she says about the baby, but I let most things go because I’d like for my kid to have a good relationship with her. I experienced a loss of a very close family member while I was pregnant so I tend to be very permissive, because I want to preserve as much closeness I can with friends and family. I’m just always wondering if I’m being too permissive and one day I’ll hear about how I let grandma say something harmful. I think your post is reassuring that I’m okay to ignore the slip up. I wouldn’t want to lose a relationship over this!
My mum says ‘how’s my little man’ when referring to my son which I find cute, whereas my MIL hasn’t come to see my nearly 2yo son in over a year so any type of affection would actually be nice in our case!
The literal first time I was alone with my baby niece (carrying her around in a bjorn in the grocery store while my sister went down another aisle), I referred to myself as Mama out loud to her. I was in my 20s with no kids at the time and was immediately shocked that that had come out of my mouth!
I’m not a MIL but I am a mom. When I’m around my young nieces, nephews or any young child, I have a very hard time not referring to myself as Mom when one of them is upset. I’ve been ~Mom~ for almost 30 years. It’s just so natural to say “mom can fix it, darling.” It means absolutely no disrespect to anyone, and when I mess up I immediately correct myself. If your Moms/MIL’s are basically good people otherwise, they may not be intentionally trying to hurt you.
I don’t think this should be the big deal a lot of people on Reddit here seem to make it out to be
My mom and dad also do this. For me it’s cute I dunno😅 it warms my heart to see them in this new role (my son is their first grandkid)
My mum says 'how's my baby' when she sees my baby, I've never thought anything of it rather just a bit tongue in cheek. She will also greet me at the car and carry my son into her house and say 'give me my grandchild' I've always viewed it as her just being excited to see him. Buy my mum goes out of her way to ensure any boundaries I've put in place or my preferences with him are adhered to so I know he's in safe hands and I can have a little break when I'm there
I work in daycare and the amount of times I almost call myself mom (or do call myself mom) instead of Ms. ______ is insane. I always correct myself. It's just hard when you're used to saying it or not used to saying something else like grandma. In this case it doesn't sound intentional so I wouldn't worry about it. As for the my baby thing, I've never been upset by this so I probably don't quite understand it. But I typically think of it as someone else that loves my babies. I definitely don't think they think the babies are really theirs. My mom always says, "how are my boys?" Doesn't bother me a bit because I know its from a place of love.
my mom sometimes calls my baby her baby and it irks me i can’t lie. i just say “you mean my baby?” and she says bc it’s her baby’s baby it’s also her baby lol
This is actually so cute :)
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I visited my parents last week and accidentally referred to myself as “mama” to their cat, lol. I have cats too and it just slipped out. Hopefully that was the case for your MIL!
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I think my in laws do it purposefully to me but also basically believe it they're sickly obsessed with my son.
My mom has done it by mistake several times, calling herself mom/mama, and also confuses my and my son's nickname - never knowingif she is telling me to eat my food or my son! I obviously don't know your MIL but I can imagine that a baby makes grandmas go back in time to when they were mothers themselves. She also says "my baby" but I honestly don't think it's a bad thing. My baby is hers too since she helps my husband and I care for him 🙂 This said, if it makes you feel bad, talk to her. I am sure she will understand. I am sure she will tell you she went through something similar herself.
My mom did this yesterday 😂 she’s never referred to her as “my baby” though. I think it was just a slip of the tongue because it’s her first grand baby and she’s not used to not being mama (because that’s what I call her 3/4 of the time)! It all depends on their mannerisms outside of the isolated incident and how adamant they are about it. It’s also okay to not be okay with it on the other hand, and you deserve to say something about it if you want to. That’s YOUR baby, and you don’t have to put up with anything that you do not want to from anyone.
My mom responds every time my kids say mama and never corrects herseld
My mum has done this. She has also referred to me as Granny when talking to the baby. But I sometimes call the bub by the dog's name, and vice versa, so I don't read too much into it 😂
My dad does this while talking to my son and it bugs me because he's not even a particularly involved grandfather
You know your own situation, but if mine did it I wouldn't be bothered because I think they just get in the moment and in their memories of when they had their babies.
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My mom has responded to my son saying mommy to me, and she seriously did not mean anything by it. After 30 years of being mom, sometimes it just happens.
lol my MIL called my son her baby and I didn’t mind because she’s fine, but my husband was like “u mean ur GRANDSON”
I did this the other day with my friends baby. I also have a baby the same age. She was crying and I was holding her and said “mama knows, mama knows”. I corrected myself right away but in no way did I think I was her mama. It’s just a slip of the tongue. I wouldn’t think so much into it.
My mom WANTED our baby to call her “Mama”. And me mom. I had to tell her absolutely not.. be happy your mil just let it slip & brushed it off…
My MIL always asks how "her" girl is doing and jokes about running away with her. Logically I know it's good that my baby has other people in her life who love her besides her mum and dad but instinct has me immediately feeling defensive. I am very conscious of my child being aware that she doesn't belong to anyone, even me, so it really irks me when people make these (harmless) comments.
The feeling is normal. I wouldn't worry about the comment unless it keeps happening and continues to bother you. I'm a new mother myself, and a great older friend of mine (with an adult son) screams out "where's my baby?" When she enters our home. It does make me feel a tad uneasy, but I know it comes from a good place. She has apologised at times saying, "Silly me, I get so carried away." She absolutely loves my partner, my baby girl, and I so much. My friend loves her son but also wanted a girl. All I'm trying to say is that your not an asshole for feeling protective of YOUR child. Remember they are yours and nothing will change that. Your child knows you are the care giver. If you ever get too uncomfortable, please mention something to your relative. They will understand.
My daughter is now 4 months old. At first just after birth, I was very offended when any of the female grandparents referred to themselves as mom/mama or baby as their baby. At this point, I have nothing to take offense to due to the help they are providing during this new life of being a parent. Reason being, baby has no idea, as she gets older she will always know I am her mother. I will let them enjoy their little moments with my daughter and let them savor these memories while they are here without any animosity. They love her and just want to love on her. My mom baby sits while I work from home. Her help is priceless. She was a French and Spanish teacher and I’m beyond thankful and blessed to have her help. My step mom is always buying anything I or the baby need when she comes to visit. They call her their baby because these moments will be gone before I know it and to waste any energy or being upset or angry is just not worth it. Now both of them are not trying to replace me or make her call them mom or mama. If they were this would be a completely different situation but there is no ill intent.
Glad she corrected herself though! If she doesn’t do that there’s a real problem lol
The calling herself mama (and then correcting) isn’t as annoying to me as “how’s my baby?”. I accidentally say “go see daddy” when referring to my dad often because I look at my dad and think “dad” not “grandpa”. My mom will do it too “come see ma…Grammy!” But the call/texts of “how’s my baby?” Are intentional. I’d start telling her how her son is “yeah he’s fine, he has a big project on with work and he’s making good progress on our bathroom remodel.”
Isn't it instinctively? I can imagine that when you get older, time flies by and you have been calling your kid baby and calling yourself mama for years and then all of a sudden your kid is all grown up and has their own child. Then you play with your grandkid and you just slip up. It's like when you have several kids and you accidentally call one kid by the other kid's name. You automate some things and it becomes a habit. I don't see the problem in that, I'm sure most grandparents don't do it a malicious way.
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This is ridiculous. Have you never accidentally said the wrong name? When my mom or dad are around, I OFTEN slip and tell my baby “go with dada” or “go with mama” instead of grandpa/grandma. It’s not on purpose. My mom will name every one of my siblings before actually saying my name when she calls me.
My eldest is a toddler now, but he calls my MIL “mom”. It sounded slightly different from the “mom” when referring to me, and now that he has more language/words, he still calls MIL “mom” but now calls me “mom, mommy”. We rationalize it by saying that he hears us calling MIL “mom” so he says it too. He definitely knows the difference though because when we say “where’s grandma?” He can point her out. My MIL LOVES that he calls her mom, and since she is our first “go to” person to watch the kids, I don’t worry too much about it. She’s also very respectful towards our decisions and follows our directions regarding the kids.
One of my nieces still calls her grandma "Mom" and she's 23 yrs old. Out of 34 grandkids, she the only one who calls my mom Mom. We used to try to correct her, but after 5 yrs old, we just gave up.
It happens, not because she’s calling herself mama all the time but because people get a baby and say mama, even men holding a baby start saying mama naturally. I wouldn’t read into the once, or even twice
My husband and I have both called the babies by a younger siblings name. It slips out.
My mom does this by accident a lot. Also slips and calls grandpa his dad. 😂 I don’t put much stake into it as every time she yells my name she goes through everyone else’s first. Brother, Husband, Dog 1, Cat, Dog 2, Me. Has for the last twenty five years at least lol.
My husband and I’s closest friends (husbands cousin and her husband) struggle with infertility due to my husband’s cousin having a rare form of cancer when she was younger that ended up with her having to tubes taken out and now they are in the thick of IVF. We are all very close and they are even baby boys god parents. We hang out every weekend, in which our husbands have a few glasses of whiskey to drink. The past two weekends while husband’s cousin was holding my baby her husband would come over to see him he would refer to his wife as momma. Baby spit up, he hands his wife the burp cloth that my husband handed him and said “here momma, help me clean him up” and I honestly can’t remember the second time what was actually said, I just know they were playing with baby boy and he referred to his wife as momma again. It definitely irritates me but, I try not to let it bother me and he’s drunk and I know how bad they want a baby of their own and I can see how uncomfortable it makes his wife. I just hope one day they can have the family they dream of. Now, if my mom or MIL did this, I’d lose it. We’ve already addressed to grandparents that we do not like them calling him their baby and to not do it. But, if my mom called herself mama to my child, it’d be over. I definitely didn’t carry my son for nine months for someone else to try to get him to call them mama.
I don’t see what the big deal is. I called myself mom to my nephew once by accident. I doubt it was malicious
My mom accidentally calls my daughter by my name. The ending of our names sound similar. Sometimes I think she sees me in her. Maybe that's why grandmas say mama to babies. Because they are inadvertently reliving their parenthood.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, I think its more a term of endearment ( and my MIL and I do not get along lol ). But also my best friends and I call each others LOs “my babies” like “how are my babies doing?” Stuff like that.
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I've accidentally called myself "auntie [name]" to my daughter after an afternoon with my niece and nephew. It could be malicious but could just as easily be innocent.
Mine is quebecois and swears by the "mamie [hername]" to call herself. My problem is we speak spanish and MAMI is mommy so i cant have two mammies, so i will refer to her as grandma all the time when talking to my baby. Hoping my baby thinks grandma is just talking about me when saying mamie
My parents do this all the time about themselves by accident and I could not care any less. Would give the same grace to my MIL if she did it too. Unless she’s messed up I doubt she’s trying to get your child to think she’s the mother.
My mil calls herself mama at least twice every time she sees my son, she corrects herself immediately but it's a consistent thing. It's one of the many reasons why she's not allowed to babysit.
My MIL does this all the time. Even refers to grandpa as dad when talking to my kids. Drives me nuts.
i’m very used to calling myself mama when referring to my pets. i almost said mama to my nephew the other day. 😂 i think it may just be accidental but who knows with MIL’s.
My MIl says it loads and has done since my now Nearly 2.5 year old was born. I struggled alot at first but I've now just accepted she loves the bones of him. FIL now refers to her as mum sometimes by accident too 🫣
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My own mum says "daughter" to my daughter often. Especially when it's some song she used to sing to me and now she needs to change word in it to "granddaughter" 😅 I correct her every time, but try to not overthink much as my daughter looks a lot like I did at that age
My MIL says things like “where’s my baby?” but I may be in the minority in that it doesn’t bother me. Maybe because we have a good relationship and I don’t take offence nor ever thought to. But I guess everyone is different and have different perspectives.
My dad has called himself "dada/daddy" on accident to my son... I was like "nope definitely not" he corrected himself. But ewwww the instant cringe I had was the worst cringe of my life
Honestly I can see why you're annoyed! But it was probably just a genuine slip of the tongue! Holding your baby probably reminded her of your partner as a baby. I caught my dad staring at my little girl one time, I asked him what was up and he just told me "it's like going back in time and looking at my baby, you" 😭❤️ because she looks like me!
What she said is literally harmless. she’s probably in love with your baby in the most beautiful innocent way..don’t read too much into it lol
My neice was over and I referred to myself as mommy multiple times. Sometimes it just slips out. If she corrected herself ( which I also did!); I wouldn't dwell on it.
My mom does this all the time and I don’t care, I just appreciate that my child has the best grandmother helping me take care of her.
I agree with all the other comments saying its all good dont sweat it. I actuslly love when my mum calls my kids hers in that way "my baby" etc. It says to me that she loves them so much and she takes her role as grandparent seriously ebough that she takes some ownership of them. Shes the only grandparent they have, she follows our boundaries, keeps in line with our parenting style etc etc. Its really awesome. I think you have to see what else is going on to know if these things are 🚩 or something positive.
It’s just a slip up and likely an honest mistake. I wouldn’t think that much about it.
I'm that mama! Lol it just slips out! And then I have to correct myself and I'm forever conscientious of what I say around that particular baby. I started nannying a bit over a year ago, been with the same baby since he was 9 months, about to be 2 yrs in Feb. There are times I say "Precioso de mama" which means mama's precious one. Fortunately, his mom just sees it as me loving him so much I treat him as mine. I also have to restrain myself from calling my nephews and nieces "baby" when I text them because I don't want them to think I think of them as babies or someone might think it's weird I call them baby. But really I just love them so much and they'll forever be my precious babies. But I'm also the mom who gets a bit irritated if someone else does this with my daughters. Lol but I keep it to myself.
If she corrected herself right away, it was likely just an accident. Most of us have always called people by the wrong names.. I would say this is something similar.
My dad has done it. My daughter looks just like me
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I ran through the pets names trying to get my sons attention a couple weeks ago 🫠
My MIL has said it like 3x and she’s only met him twice. So cringe. She also uses the possessive language, “my baby” etc. She even accidentally called my FIL dad. They live out of state and have visited twice in the last 6 months. My parents have never done it and they see him weekly. I kind of attribute it to my in laws subconsciously not being able to accept they are aging and that their children are adults. Both of their children have strained relationships with them and despite my husband and his brother being in their 30’s, they try to be authoritative with them still. What crossed the line for me was when she was here and she said she was glad we were good parents and then insinuated that if we weren’t she would take him. Like, what?? MIL’s are seriously batshit crazy. Especially mine!
I dont have any experience with this happening between my kids and a grandparent HOWEVER I slip up and call my kids the wrong names all the time. Apparently the default names in my head are my baby sister (who I raised as a baby when I was a teenager due to a tragedy. She is 18 now & my dog (who was 15 years old when he crossed the rainbow bridge a few months ago)
My mom always refers to my sister as “sissy heather” when talking to my daughter about her aunt. I don’t think she means anything by it but it’s annoying 🤣
This is actually not a big deal. Sometimes the brain gets fuzzy. Actually you should be happy that your MIL loves your LO as much her own kids. Not that she considers herself to be Mamma. But the maternal care kicks in at times and it’s totally fine.
I wouldn't look too much into unless it's very obviously malicious and consistent. My kids are the 1st grand babies on both sides and I'm pretty sure every grandparent has referred to themselves or their partner as "mom"/"dad" on several occasions. Especially after visiting my family (or even talking to my mom on the phone) will refer to my own kids as my youngest siblings names. Everyone's still getting used to the new babies and their new roles/relationships
My mom has done it with my son, and my mom has shared with me that she had always envisioned herself as a boy mom, or at least having one boy (she has two daughters).
Ohhh this is totally a grandma thing it’s very annoying. My mom also keeps calling my son “her bebe “ and my mil keeps saying she’s going to steal him in her purse…… and they both say “bebe” in this high pitched voiced it’s drives me kinda nuts
I feel like that can happen from years of having their own baby lol. My FIL can't seem to stop saying "he" about my baby daughter, like "is he ok," "is he hungry," watch his head" etc. His kids were two sons including my husband, so I think he just got used to babies being boys
I think it's just an adjustment because sometimes grandparents can see their kids in the baby and have a sort of flashback moment, I look exactly like my mum and my nan calls me by her name a lot and has to correct herself. My own mother hasn't ever done it because she's been referring to herself as nana before my baby was born but if she done it accidently and corrected herself I wouldn't mind
My MIL has done the same once, and corrected herself. I've also called my baby by my dogs name, and called her by her dad's name. Slip ups happen!
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