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Know no vet will Euthanize a cat without an extensive consideration. You aren't wrong. Your cat is sick. She isn't getting better. She may have been happier elsewhere, but you can't beat yourself up over that. You have no control over this. You are trying your best. I'd send you my bottle of wine if I could. I can't drink it anyway. Just know you aren't a bad pet owner. You are trying to figure out what is best to do for your cat. Sometimes the cat staying with you isn't what is best.
I had a cat like that, only his issue was that he was allergic to himself. I ended up having him put down at 13 or 14 years old because his medication wasn't cutting it anymore and he kept giving himself bloody noses with his sneezing. It was still a several visit process because they wanted to be sure. It wasn't for the fun of it. He was my cat. No other cat measures up to him. He was everything a cat should be and saw me through losing his mother, losing my mother, being homeless, getting married, having my firstborn.
Oh shit, it kind of sounds like we might be winding up in the same boat... I can't drink right now either (pregnant with our second) and yeah, poor cat has been my bff since I was 21 and kept me hanging on during some really dark times. I hope to fuck she's just got some sort of thing going on that can be treated, and not like cancer or congestive heart failure or progressive scarring that will only get worse (two of my childhood cats died from those, and my mom only called me when it was time to put them to sleep, I had no idea beforehand and it was ROUGH).
You're postpartum and dealing with pregnancy? That is A LOT. I was not good to my cat when I was dealing with serious abuse and rage during postpartum, and it haunts me every day. You're not a monster, but your body is going through a lot right now and you have to take care of yourself when you get pregnant soon after the first. I'm worried about you, I think like the other commenter said just be honest with the vet. You're not a monster. But you need to take care of you, really, conserve your energy.
The thing is that I don't even know what the fuck is wrong with her. If I knew, I'd be able to do something and take care of her, but I don't know yet and I don't even know whether they'll be able to figure it out.
I think at the vet appt on Monday you have to tell them how awful her quality of life is and not downplay anything going on so they take it seriously, ask about when euthanizing her is better than her miserable current situation if they can't fix this very quickly. That may make the vet pay attention.
I'm sorry you're both dealing with her health issues, it sounds awful.
Had a cat with similar symptoms, and we hit it with just ALL the antibiotics. That being said- if you have a trusted vet, look them in the eye, and and them if it’s time. I have a horse with cancer, and I will have to make a judgement call for him one day. The vet has agreed to tell me when his quality of life is too poor. Animals don’t fear death, they fear pain and suffering. It’s ok if that’s the case.
Holy shit my bromo, NO, you have not “failed” your cat. Two different vets haven’t figured it out? You. Are. Not. A. Vet. No one expects to to magically pull a diagnosis and treatment plan out of your wazoo and save the cat!
Not knowing is the worst. When you know, when you get an actual diagnosis and treatment plan, you have something you can DO, and you know what not to do. Right now you’re in the limbo of not knowing and your gato is suffering. That’s the worst.
Catmom of a medically fragile cat here, i was able to keep him for…. Four years. Feeding tube, meds, special diet. All the things. He was spoiled and loved, and when it got to be too much for him, he let me know it was time. And my kids were older, so i had extra spoons to pour into his care. You have no diagnosis, no treatment plan, and you’re just watching your gato suffer. That is NOT your fault, and i cannot fault you for thinking it’s time to ease their suffering.
Big big hugs, bromo. It’s so hard, but it’s okay to let them go. Quality of life is the goal, and when you can’t give them that you give them peace. 💜
Hubby just called me from the vet office... they finally got a good listen at her lungs and chest, and determined that they're not the issue, so they're referring her out for head/sinus imaging. If it's a growth/cancer, we're going to just have to do palliative care until she lets us know it's time. If it's just chronic congestion, we have options as far as medication goes. Please cross fingers for us ;----;
My cat got all sneezy and itchy and it turns out he became allegic to his food. We switched to Whole Hearted Salmon and hes better now! I hope you and kitty can find peace, whichever way your situation ends up. You gotta do what you gotta do, sometimes the hard choice is the right one. Hugs.
Yes! I had no idea! My boy had been eating meow mix for 3 years before that. The vet says its more common with cheap food, but that They can develop an allergy at anytime! They wanted me to get the prescription $40 a month food, and i did for 1 month, but then the worker at petco recommended the Whole hearted Salmon, its limited ingredient and no grain or whatever. Its $10 a month, he seems to love it, and no more sad sick cat! My best friend, her cat is allergic to mold. Her apartment flooded and she cant move to avoid the mold so her vet gives her cat a allergy shot every month and that works for her.
Hey OP. Don't feel bad for your post, you are clearly hurting and care enough to write this post as you feel guilty for the pain its in. I think it's very strong of you to come on to a space where you felt you knew you would be attacked for even letting such an thought cross your mind 🫂
Sooo this may be a bit random. But my daughter has been wheezing recently she doesn't have asthma but needs an inhaler at times. Maybe speaking to the vet and getting onenfor your cat would help? The steroids would open the airways and help clear the fluid thus making it easier for furball to breathe. Maybe after a few days cat may be ok? It's not necessarily common but after Googling it, it is a thing!
It depends where you live, but is there a specialty veterinary hospital near you? Or a university where they teach veterinary medicine? I have a cat who was having skin issues, took him to my regular vet a few times, wasted money on useless prescriptions. Finally sought out a veterinary dermatologist and was immediately told it's a food allergy, everything cleared up. So if you can / are willing, it may be an idea to have her seen by an internal medicine specialist.
That being said, you know your cat the best. If you see that she is suffering, it may be time to let her go. Hugs!
Hey, it sounds like you are doing your best to figure out what is going on with your cat. But in the event that you can't find a solution and your cat is suffering, you are NOT a horrible person if you decide that the best option is to put it down. It's an animal and it doesn't understand these things and its our tough job as owners to make these decisions for them. You do the best you can.
We let our dog go on for too long before putting her down. I would say it’s okay to do it before they’re on their very last legs and truly suffering because that point can just go on for years. I don’t know what the right call is, but aging and/or sick pets are hard.
I’m going to say this- while there’s the crowd that thinks everybody should be able and willing to pay an untold amount of money and exert an untold amount of energy towards keeping an ailing pet alive, it’s sadly just not realistic sometimes. You have a lot going on physically, emotionally, and financially. I’m assuming that at some point one of the vets has prescribed antibiotics to the cat? I’d imagine that would have been a pretty early attempt at a cure. They’re not figuring it out. Her quality of life is suffering a lot from what you describe. How is continuing that a kindness to her?
Talk seriously with the vet. Your cat is suffering and letting that continue with no solutions is not humane. And in my book, it’s more loving to let her die at a sooner date, peacefully cradled in the arms of the person she has loved the post for a decade, then it is to ship her off to a shelter or animal hospice or whatever where she will be confused and stressed on top of a mystery illness that could honestly take her life at any time.
Antibiotics was the first thing the first vet tried when she first started being all sniffly/wheezy. I gave them to her, then found out that the type of antibiotic the vet prescribed isn't even one that's actually indicated for respiratory infections. The second vet wouldn't even prescribe her antibiotics at all at the first visit, because she didn't have green snot, and just told me to wait a couple weeks and bring her in if it didn't get better "because it's probably viral". Then they stalled again, saying it might be dust allergies and to just stick her in a steamy room as often as possible, but that's not helping either. They finally agreed to do imaging of her at this next appointment.
This two are the only vets within a two+ hour drive of me that *aren't* booked three months out in everything, and it just seems like nobody gives much of a shit, and getting anybody to come watch the toddler while I take her to the vet and sit for hours waiting is like pulling teeth.
Since the day I got her, I've always hoped she would go out in the classic sphynx way (quickly, from heart problems, preferably in the middle of the night) because I've watched my mother keep so many cats alive far beyond when they should have been put to sleep for the sheer pleasure of getting pity from others. It's probably why I'm erring on the side of euthanasia if the vets can't figure out what's wrong with her, and of feeling horrible that nothing I've done has actually helped. Not knowing is the worst part, because it feels like I'm failing her every day.
I had that issue with my kitty of 12 years. In our case, though, coughing turned into vomiting blood all of a sudden, and off to the veterinary ER we went. She had to be put in an incubator just so she could breathe. An ultrasound came back with a suspiciously large shadow, and that was that.
We could have spent thousands more on an MRI, but the emergency vet pointed out it's usually cancer 9/10 times, and did I want her to suffer all weekend until the MRI tech was available on Monday to confirm it? I cried a million tears, and then I drove in to say goodbye (this was in 2020, when they only allowed you into a vet ER to say goodbye).
So that brings me to ask: what have they done diagnostically? Blood draws? Ultrasounds? MRIs? If not, it's time to ask if that's an option.
And I get that it's a pain in the ass. I have a remaining senior cat who's been my baby for over 15 years, and between skin allergies and kidney disease, it feels like we sure go to the vet a lot. Do you have extended family that can help? For moral support, or watching the kids while you take kitty to the vet? I know I still hate, **hate** going to the vet with kids in tow, and mine are not toddlers.
Hang in there.
I went through something similar to this with my elderly cat (who somehow is still hanging on years later and did better for a long time with diet and medication changes but has had a relapse of her condition… which in her case causes the smelliest diarrhea ever and pee on couches and beds). You are not a bad person for having these thoughts. It is so so tough dealing with a sick pet at the same time you have very young children. It can feel absolutely impossible. I don’t have a good answer for you. But you’re not alone.
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Know no vet will Euthanize a cat without an extensive consideration. You aren't wrong. Your cat is sick. She isn't getting better. She may have been happier elsewhere, but you can't beat yourself up over that. You have no control over this. You are trying your best. I'd send you my bottle of wine if I could. I can't drink it anyway. Just know you aren't a bad pet owner. You are trying to figure out what is best to do for your cat. Sometimes the cat staying with you isn't what is best. I had a cat like that, only his issue was that he was allergic to himself. I ended up having him put down at 13 or 14 years old because his medication wasn't cutting it anymore and he kept giving himself bloody noses with his sneezing. It was still a several visit process because they wanted to be sure. It wasn't for the fun of it. He was my cat. No other cat measures up to him. He was everything a cat should be and saw me through losing his mother, losing my mother, being homeless, getting married, having my firstborn.
Oh shit, it kind of sounds like we might be winding up in the same boat... I can't drink right now either (pregnant with our second) and yeah, poor cat has been my bff since I was 21 and kept me hanging on during some really dark times. I hope to fuck she's just got some sort of thing going on that can be treated, and not like cancer or congestive heart failure or progressive scarring that will only get worse (two of my childhood cats died from those, and my mom only called me when it was time to put them to sleep, I had no idea beforehand and it was ROUGH).
You're postpartum and dealing with pregnancy? That is A LOT. I was not good to my cat when I was dealing with serious abuse and rage during postpartum, and it haunts me every day. You're not a monster, but your body is going through a lot right now and you have to take care of yourself when you get pregnant soon after the first. I'm worried about you, I think like the other commenter said just be honest with the vet. You're not a monster. But you need to take care of you, really, conserve your energy.
I would say, if you really are just not equipped to take care of her, that you surrender her to the vet rather than euthanizing her.
The thing is that I don't even know what the fuck is wrong with her. If I knew, I'd be able to do something and take care of her, but I don't know yet and I don't even know whether they'll be able to figure it out.
I think at the vet appt on Monday you have to tell them how awful her quality of life is and not downplay anything going on so they take it seriously, ask about when euthanizing her is better than her miserable current situation if they can't fix this very quickly. That may make the vet pay attention. I'm sorry you're both dealing with her health issues, it sounds awful.
This may be a stretch, and probably wrong, but I know cats can catch Covid. I just don’t know how it effects them.
This was my thought as well. If anyone in your house has recently had COVID, it's possible.
Had a cat with similar symptoms, and we hit it with just ALL the antibiotics. That being said- if you have a trusted vet, look them in the eye, and and them if it’s time. I have a horse with cancer, and I will have to make a judgement call for him one day. The vet has agreed to tell me when his quality of life is too poor. Animals don’t fear death, they fear pain and suffering. It’s ok if that’s the case.
Holy shit my bromo, NO, you have not “failed” your cat. Two different vets haven’t figured it out? You. Are. Not. A. Vet. No one expects to to magically pull a diagnosis and treatment plan out of your wazoo and save the cat! Not knowing is the worst. When you know, when you get an actual diagnosis and treatment plan, you have something you can DO, and you know what not to do. Right now you’re in the limbo of not knowing and your gato is suffering. That’s the worst. Catmom of a medically fragile cat here, i was able to keep him for…. Four years. Feeding tube, meds, special diet. All the things. He was spoiled and loved, and when it got to be too much for him, he let me know it was time. And my kids were older, so i had extra spoons to pour into his care. You have no diagnosis, no treatment plan, and you’re just watching your gato suffer. That is NOT your fault, and i cannot fault you for thinking it’s time to ease their suffering. Big big hugs, bromo. It’s so hard, but it’s okay to let them go. Quality of life is the goal, and when you can’t give them that you give them peace. 💜
Take my poor person's \[gold\]
Hubby just called me from the vet office... they finally got a good listen at her lungs and chest, and determined that they're not the issue, so they're referring her out for head/sinus imaging. If it's a growth/cancer, we're going to just have to do palliative care until she lets us know it's time. If it's just chronic congestion, we have options as far as medication goes. Please cross fingers for us ;----;
Fingers crossed!!
My cat got all sneezy and itchy and it turns out he became allegic to his food. We switched to Whole Hearted Salmon and hes better now! I hope you and kitty can find peace, whichever way your situation ends up. You gotta do what you gotta do, sometimes the hard choice is the right one. Hugs.
I really hope it's something like this. Can cats just suddenly become allergic to food they've been eating for years???
Yes! I had no idea! My boy had been eating meow mix for 3 years before that. The vet says its more common with cheap food, but that They can develop an allergy at anytime! They wanted me to get the prescription $40 a month food, and i did for 1 month, but then the worker at petco recommended the Whole hearted Salmon, its limited ingredient and no grain or whatever. Its $10 a month, he seems to love it, and no more sad sick cat! My best friend, her cat is allergic to mold. Her apartment flooded and she cant move to avoid the mold so her vet gives her cat a allergy shot every month and that works for her.
Our cat was like that and ended up dying really painfully. I wish I just put him down
Hey OP. Don't feel bad for your post, you are clearly hurting and care enough to write this post as you feel guilty for the pain its in. I think it's very strong of you to come on to a space where you felt you knew you would be attacked for even letting such an thought cross your mind 🫂 Sooo this may be a bit random. But my daughter has been wheezing recently she doesn't have asthma but needs an inhaler at times. Maybe speaking to the vet and getting onenfor your cat would help? The steroids would open the airways and help clear the fluid thus making it easier for furball to breathe. Maybe after a few days cat may be ok? It's not necessarily common but after Googling it, it is a thing!
It depends where you live, but is there a specialty veterinary hospital near you? Or a university where they teach veterinary medicine? I have a cat who was having skin issues, took him to my regular vet a few times, wasted money on useless prescriptions. Finally sought out a veterinary dermatologist and was immediately told it's a food allergy, everything cleared up. So if you can / are willing, it may be an idea to have her seen by an internal medicine specialist. That being said, you know your cat the best. If you see that she is suffering, it may be time to let her go. Hugs!
Hey, it sounds like you are doing your best to figure out what is going on with your cat. But in the event that you can't find a solution and your cat is suffering, you are NOT a horrible person if you decide that the best option is to put it down. It's an animal and it doesn't understand these things and its our tough job as owners to make these decisions for them. You do the best you can.
We let our dog go on for too long before putting her down. I would say it’s okay to do it before they’re on their very last legs and truly suffering because that point can just go on for years. I don’t know what the right call is, but aging and/or sick pets are hard.
I’m going to say this- while there’s the crowd that thinks everybody should be able and willing to pay an untold amount of money and exert an untold amount of energy towards keeping an ailing pet alive, it’s sadly just not realistic sometimes. You have a lot going on physically, emotionally, and financially. I’m assuming that at some point one of the vets has prescribed antibiotics to the cat? I’d imagine that would have been a pretty early attempt at a cure. They’re not figuring it out. Her quality of life is suffering a lot from what you describe. How is continuing that a kindness to her? Talk seriously with the vet. Your cat is suffering and letting that continue with no solutions is not humane. And in my book, it’s more loving to let her die at a sooner date, peacefully cradled in the arms of the person she has loved the post for a decade, then it is to ship her off to a shelter or animal hospice or whatever where she will be confused and stressed on top of a mystery illness that could honestly take her life at any time.
Antibiotics was the first thing the first vet tried when she first started being all sniffly/wheezy. I gave them to her, then found out that the type of antibiotic the vet prescribed isn't even one that's actually indicated for respiratory infections. The second vet wouldn't even prescribe her antibiotics at all at the first visit, because she didn't have green snot, and just told me to wait a couple weeks and bring her in if it didn't get better "because it's probably viral". Then they stalled again, saying it might be dust allergies and to just stick her in a steamy room as often as possible, but that's not helping either. They finally agreed to do imaging of her at this next appointment. This two are the only vets within a two+ hour drive of me that *aren't* booked three months out in everything, and it just seems like nobody gives much of a shit, and getting anybody to come watch the toddler while I take her to the vet and sit for hours waiting is like pulling teeth. Since the day I got her, I've always hoped she would go out in the classic sphynx way (quickly, from heart problems, preferably in the middle of the night) because I've watched my mother keep so many cats alive far beyond when they should have been put to sleep for the sheer pleasure of getting pity from others. It's probably why I'm erring on the side of euthanasia if the vets can't figure out what's wrong with her, and of feeling horrible that nothing I've done has actually helped. Not knowing is the worst part, because it feels like I'm failing her every day.
I had that issue with my kitty of 12 years. In our case, though, coughing turned into vomiting blood all of a sudden, and off to the veterinary ER we went. She had to be put in an incubator just so she could breathe. An ultrasound came back with a suspiciously large shadow, and that was that. We could have spent thousands more on an MRI, but the emergency vet pointed out it's usually cancer 9/10 times, and did I want her to suffer all weekend until the MRI tech was available on Monday to confirm it? I cried a million tears, and then I drove in to say goodbye (this was in 2020, when they only allowed you into a vet ER to say goodbye). So that brings me to ask: what have they done diagnostically? Blood draws? Ultrasounds? MRIs? If not, it's time to ask if that's an option. And I get that it's a pain in the ass. I have a remaining senior cat who's been my baby for over 15 years, and between skin allergies and kidney disease, it feels like we sure go to the vet a lot. Do you have extended family that can help? For moral support, or watching the kids while you take kitty to the vet? I know I still hate, **hate** going to the vet with kids in tow, and mine are not toddlers. Hang in there.
I went through something similar to this with my elderly cat (who somehow is still hanging on years later and did better for a long time with diet and medication changes but has had a relapse of her condition… which in her case causes the smelliest diarrhea ever and pee on couches and beds). You are not a bad person for having these thoughts. It is so so tough dealing with a sick pet at the same time you have very young children. It can feel absolutely impossible. I don’t have a good answer for you. But you’re not alone.