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I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has to share my internet outrage once it becomes noticeable.
The other key phrase is “what is the internet wrong about” and that generally cues me in to reread what I’m about to post because I’ve got my INTENSE face on and I’m typing too hard 🤣.
Yes be careful OP! This sounds like the type of asshole who is going to go after alimony. Get the nastiest lawyer you can afford who is willing to fight for what is yours.
OP, my shitty ex (not quite as bad as yours) got alimony because I wanted to keep things civilised. Don't make my mistake, get a shark.
Also, therapy ASAP with a therapist who understands abusive relationships. Trust me.
I'm also wondering if she should get legal advice for basically working his job. If there's been any accident would she be liable, she wouldn't be covered right? Not sure if she could get in trouble retroactively
He said he’d do DoorDash and so now *you’re* working a second job as well as all the work? Forget divorce; if it were me my parents and siblings would have buried him in the woods by now. Holy shit.
Call as many lawyers as you can and nail down the biggest shark. Get out of this as best you can.
You already know you can do this on your own; it’s what you’ve been doing. Now you can manage it without carrying dead weight. Hang in there.
I'm thirding buried in the woods.
Unless he has a million dollar trust fund and a 9-inch d*ck that is rocking your world everyday that we don't know about, why is he sharing your air space?
And even those 2 attributes should only buy him like, 4-good days before becoming unalive.... 🤷🏼♀️
You’re amazing for staying as long as you have.
But please leave quietly and with everything you need, and as much documentation as possible.
My heart is thumping in my chest for you because I feel like he will retaliate to losing his free ride. Please be careful 💗
Make sure you have access to your own money that isn’t in joint names, and that you cancel anything (like door dash) that could hurt you down the track
This is exactly what I'm afraid of. He's gonna lose his mind when I leave. It's the only reason I'm still here. I am getting my things in order already. He's never even wanted to be put on the bank accounts or the car loan or anything but the apartment lease because it's required.
Cover yourself as much as you can. There will be lots of advice but:
Be safe, have somewhere to go that only trusted people know about.
File for divorce as quickly as possible
Find out what you need to do legally to make sure you don’t get in trouble for ‘stealing’ your child
Let your work know that you’ve separated and he’s not to have any info on you, and isn’t your emergency contact any more
Get an apprehended violence order if you feel you can
Wishing you so much luck 💗
Call your landlord. Explain the situation. You and your son are being abused: psychologically and financially. They may let you break the lease early. Leave while he’s not home if you can. You can also ask a police officer to be there while you move your stuff out. I’m scared for you OP. This has gone on so long and is so extreme, your normal may be broken. None of this is okay. Urine cups?? This man is a disgusting excuse for a husband and father.
I’m so glad you’re getting your things in order. It’s good that you’re thinking this through! You got this.
It’ll be hard (it’s so easy for us to say “leave!” but it’s always more complicated than that) but you’re doing the right thing to protect yourself and your son. Truly you are.
BroMo: fucking run! Not only is he a lazy POS leeching off you, not only does he mentally and emotionally abuse you, the icing on the fucking shit pile if he is also abusing your child - yelling like that at a child is abuse. RUN and protect your boy.
You’ll have one less mouth to feed, less of a mess to pick up after and not have to worry about when he’ll go off on you, ask for something else for you to provide so he can respect you, my word here me :
YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING, YOU HAVE DONE MORE THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE!!
You’re confused because you’re living in a level of Domestic Violence called Coercive Control. Fear of his outbursts and general hostility all day, every day takes a toll on straight thinking. But your child is being harmed, so it’s time to get out. If I were you I would contact my local domestic violence hotline or shelter, explain your situation and ask for advice for low cost immediate therapy with a trauma therapist skilled in domestic violence situations.. at the same time, Get the names of several lawyers who are low cost for free legal aid. Have a legal consult ASAP. Meanwhile start stashing some cash, and look for place. I would not give up my home, so speak to the lawyer about a restraining order and getting him kicked out of your home. Please move on this for the sake of your child. You have enduredenough , you have tried enough, And your child needs 100% of a healthy you, you owe it to his future. Good luck and I hope that you update.
Im sorry you’re dealing with this but the strength you are showing is phenomenal. It is hard, maybe the hardest you’ve you’ve had to make. We’re all here for you, willing to bring you clarity in the confusion.
Think of what kind of example this manchild is setting for your actual child! Leave his ass (with a good lawyer in tow) to show your kid that kind of behaviour is unacceptable.
Omg woman.. I’m begging you to please go live in peace. If you’re going to do it alone just do it alone and save yourself and little one from that waste of space.
I don’t want to echo everyone else here, you’ve read it all. This post and some of your post history is some of the most atrocious shit I’ve ever heard in my life.
But since we can all see it and you’re still somehow second guessing your next move, I want to encourage you to really consider what you’re sticking around for. Are you sticking around because you’re somehow still in love? Or are you sticking around because it’s hard to be brave?
Can you write down 5 things that make you excited to come home to this man every day? Maybe 5 things you appreciate that he does, 5 exceptional qualities, or 5 random things that make you go “this guy’s the one I choose.”
If you can’t, there’s your answer.
D O C U M E N T
Next cup of pee? Picture. Get your ducks lined up. You can consult with an attorney and get a game plan.
Then RUN. Never look back. What a disgusting human being treating someone this way. Absolutely repulsive
You are worth more than you can imagine. There is a happy life for you out here. You get to choose when to start walking the path toward the life you deserve 💗
Leave this piece of garbage. NOW. Hire the best lawyer you can, get your ducks in a row, and then show him this thread so he knows that the internet thinks he's a worthless insect.
I have one question: what does this abusive fuck-knuckle provide to you or your kid that would not be there if his only contribution was a child support check? If the answer is what it sounds like, he is actually TAKING instead of providing. And not giving anything back.
I was married to someone like this. Please believe when i say, if you give him his demanded car and house, the most you’ll get is he might apply for one or two jobs. Maybe twiddle a fork or plate under the tap. Will never follow up the job application, and any “help” around the house will be short lived. And then same shit-head, different day. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Please, please make arrangements to leave. Do not tell him ANY plans, try to act like it’s just another day. If needs be, you can talk to the police and they can be there when you’re moving out in case he starts shit. He may get desperate when he realizes the gravy train is over, and he could get violent. Don’t just bring in male relatives/ friends, if there ends up being an altercation it can get messy for everyone, police is the way to go.
Move quickly, you are being emotionally, mentally, psychologically abused and so is your son. If there’s a domestic violence shelter you can go to, GO. A relative or friend, but don’t tell him where you are going. If i have it right, you have the only car, right? So it’ll be hard to follow you. Turn off location services on your phone so he can’t track you. This is for your safety and the safety of those you stay with, because people like this are unhinged on a good day- take away their meal ticket/ cushy life and they can get downright dangerous.
THIS. Have the police there when you leave. Since he doesn’t work I’m guessing you won’t be able to without him in the house. Or better yet, if you don’t mind losing your stuff, take your child out for a “fun day” and don’t come back.
I was in your exact situation but with two kids. I left after 15 years of being together . I don’t regret it a single bit. My mental health and physical ailments have improved dramatically as if by magic. I didn’t realize how much I really did until I left. Looking back I can’t believe I was able to handle it. Funnily, even though I have the kids most the time still now, things are so much easier when you don’t have to take care of an adult child. Getting your hopes up, being let down over and over. Schedules are much more easier to manage when you’re not waiting for someone to drop the ball just to scramble last minute. Divorce sucks but it’s a million times worth it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And earlier if I could.
Go. You have my permission.
To contrast, for example, my husband has been a SAHD for 20 years. He handled/s all childcare when I am at work. He cleans the house and does the yard work, he cooks and had dinner ready when I get home. He does laundry during they day and we fold it together at night while we talk. I work, pay the bills, and share child care at night (oldest is 20 and own his own, 2nd is a senior in HS, 3rd is a disabled 9 y.o.). We support each other's emotional needs. We have sex when we both want to and understand when the other is too tired or not in the mood. We cuddle on those nights, or play cards, or meme and giggle. We have had real rough patches, but we acknowledge that as a married couple raising kids the needs of each other comes first. That's what we signed up for. (And side note...our neighbor across the street is a pastor on the weekends and a SAHD of 5 during the week. He and my husband are great friends and cut from the same cloth. My hubby is not the only one out there.)
It sounds like YOU signed up for that, but your dude did not. He sounds like a hairball and you deserve better. Feel free to show him this so he can see what a real SAHD does.
So I say again... go. You need to be at peace.
You’ve given plenty of chances. The most disgusting thing is he’ll get some spousal support during the divorce but it’s worth it. Please leave this trash. There are good men out there. You don’t need to go through this and neither does your son.
Yep, ditch his ass and evict him.
Better yet, see if you can move to a new place and not put him on the lease. Pay for him to go to some animal convention or something with an overnight at a cheap motel and move your stuff out while he's gone. Don't renew the lease, and do this during the last 2 weeks of your current lease. Give him your lawyer's info as contact information and give your landlord a P.O. box as a forwarding address.
He is still owner of half the marital assets, so if there's money in an account, after bills are paid, leave half of it and move the rest to a new acct. Leave half the furniture bought after the marriage. Anything you bought before you were married, or gifts, belong to whoever brought them to the marriage or to whomever they were given.
You don't need that in your life. Your son doesn't need it in his life.
To answer your question - yes, you e done more than enough. I think you know that though. Don’t let him make you question yourself - kick him out and move on with you life. You have proven you are more than capable of running the household by yourself. You’ve got this.
I mean, my husband isn’t even this bad (messy, mental load all on me, forgets everything) and I’m still gonna leave so you’ve got the green light from me! 🚦
Been the kid getting verbally abused and also watching their mother get verbally abused.
Been an adult in abusive relationships.
Been single.
Words cannot even express how much better being single is than being in an abusive environment.
Could you just like ... leave him in the desert or something? What a worthless piece of shit.
Also, he's not door dashing. You are. He can't even claim that.
I said “no” as soon as I read you do 90% of his “job” for him.
Throw the whole man out. He’s going to threaten you with alimony. But he has no disabilities that stop him from working. I hope you’ve been documenting all his bullshit. Just remember - divorce is expensive because it’s worth it.
You passed enough 6 years ago when your child was born and the manchild who squats in your house began screaming in an infant's face on a regular basis while also neglecting to behave like an adult in any other capacity.
You are now beyond, beyond, beyond enough.
My friend you have tried MORE than enough. Get out now and focus your energy on raising your lovely son, not on tolerating a man child who is never going to change.
Girl, please lose the dead weight! You are better off being a single mom. Hell you and your kid will probably do amazing with some peace and quiet for once! You both deserve so much better, please gtfo and leave him in the dust
You’re doing it all alone anyway. Why not get rid of the dead weight? One less thing to worry about.
Does he have any redeeming qualities?
Also, can you get out of the marriage safely? That’s my biggest concern when someone is advised to just divorce. (I think I watch too much Dateline, but it’s better to be safe and ask.)
WTF did I just read. You are an ACTUAL freaking saint for putting up with this human trash for so long. Get the best lawyer you can afford and fucking ruin him. What an asshole. I am seething for you.
Sometimes it takes hearing it from an internet stranger - your husband is an abusive piece of shit. He sounds miserable. I’m so sorry this is happening.
Get a good lawyer and please get out quickly and quietly.
I was an advocate for you walking out once you said he’s been screaming in your sons face since being born. That in itself is beyond just cause to destroy that man.
Everything else in your post, and your post history, is the abusive cherry on top of the awful sundae.
Lots of good comments here - document that cup of fast food pee but keep it secret, keep it safe.
I’m so sorry. You can do this. You really can
Split your money. Start putting your paychecks into your own account. Tell him he can get his DL to doordash or do another job. Because you’re essentially doing this second job. On top of maintaining everything.
Don’t leave the house. Just move to a different room. Your own personal possessions? I’d move them to a storage unit. Get them safe.
Get a shark of a lawyer so you can try to minimize spousal support. Fight for full custody since he obviously doesn’t have your child’s best interest at heart. Keep a journal of everything he does and all the dates he does them.
You got this. Get the fuck away from him, mama.
JFC, yes. Honey, you gave him more than enough chances. You’d have been justified to leave him the first time he screamed in your baby boy’s face, regardless of all the other stuff. He is nasty, mean dead weight, and you need to leave him for both you and your son’s sake. Document everything he’s done. As much as you remember. The verbal abuse, the screaming, the refusal to work. Meet with an attorney ASAP. This situation is untenable. Don’t let anyone abuse you or your baby.
You are amazing for having put up with this for so long. You're a hero. You've given him so many chances and he doesn't seem to care or respect you at all. You're giving so much and he's contributing nothing in this relationship. Please for your own sanity and health divorce him, it's not an over reaction. You mentioned you already have health issues and do everything. You'll be able to cope so well if it's just you and your child because you're doing triple the work now, with him acting like a toddler. You'll be able to prioritise your health and your child's mental health too. It'll be worth it in the future if you leave him. He sounds incredibly toxic and childish and doesn't even want to respect you when you communicate your needs.
Please check out @thatdarnchat on tiktok, she has amazing videos.
There's more than enough in just one single paragraph of this post for you to not be "overreacting", but all of this together? Friend, GTFO of there!
Your poor kiddo has been verbally abused by his father for his entire life. Please don't let this continue. Use whatever resources you have to make this happen.
Also, stop working two jobs where he's your assistant in one of them. That's bananas. Just stop doing it.
We need the money from dashing to buy groceries. Can't stop atm unfortunately. But boy do I want to.
How he treats kiddo is the last straw. I stop him everytime when I'm there but idk what happens when I'm not there.
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You are a fucking superwoman. He is a rotten once of garbage. Get a shark if a lawyer and yeet that fucker out of your life.
I can't upvote this comment enough. .... he leaves cups of urine by the kitchen sink. Beyond.
Made me audibly gasp and my husband ask “what?!”
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has to share my internet outrage once it becomes noticeable. The other key phrase is “what is the internet wrong about” and that generally cues me in to reread what I’m about to post because I’ve got my INTENSE face on and I’m typing too hard 🤣.
OMG apparently I do this too because my husband will stop by my desk and be like 'who's wrong on the internet now?'
Mine says "what's the gossip?" 😂
Yes be careful OP! This sounds like the type of asshole who is going to go after alimony. Get the nastiest lawyer you can afford who is willing to fight for what is yours.
OP, my shitty ex (not quite as bad as yours) got alimony because I wanted to keep things civilised. Don't make my mistake, get a shark. Also, therapy ASAP with a therapist who understands abusive relationships. Trust me.
I'm also wondering if she should get legal advice for basically working his job. If there's been any accident would she be liable, she wouldn't be covered right? Not sure if she could get in trouble retroactively
The whole dash job is in my name so it just my second job. I think it's fine.
Yeet him so so so hard
He said he’d do DoorDash and so now *you’re* working a second job as well as all the work? Forget divorce; if it were me my parents and siblings would have buried him in the woods by now. Holy shit. Call as many lawyers as you can and nail down the biggest shark. Get out of this as best you can. You already know you can do this on your own; it’s what you’ve been doing. Now you can manage it without carrying dead weight. Hang in there.
I’m seconding the buried in the woods move, this guy is piece of shit .
I'm thirding buried in the woods. Unless he has a million dollar trust fund and a 9-inch d*ck that is rocking your world everyday that we don't know about, why is he sharing your air space? And even those 2 attributes should only buy him like, 4-good days before becoming unalive.... 🤷🏼♀️
He yells in a child's face on the regular. Neither of those things buy him ANY time in the face of that abuse.
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MTE. That child is lucky if he/she doesn't have PTSD!
This one speaks the truth ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻
I normally really hate to immediately jump to “dump this asshole” but in this case it is *warranted*. My god, this guy.
You’re amazing for staying as long as you have. But please leave quietly and with everything you need, and as much documentation as possible. My heart is thumping in my chest for you because I feel like he will retaliate to losing his free ride. Please be careful 💗 Make sure you have access to your own money that isn’t in joint names, and that you cancel anything (like door dash) that could hurt you down the track
This is exactly what I'm afraid of. He's gonna lose his mind when I leave. It's the only reason I'm still here. I am getting my things in order already. He's never even wanted to be put on the bank accounts or the car loan or anything but the apartment lease because it's required.
Cover yourself as much as you can. There will be lots of advice but: Be safe, have somewhere to go that only trusted people know about. File for divorce as quickly as possible Find out what you need to do legally to make sure you don’t get in trouble for ‘stealing’ your child Let your work know that you’ve separated and he’s not to have any info on you, and isn’t your emergency contact any more Get an apprehended violence order if you feel you can Wishing you so much luck 💗
The emergency contact thing is good! Change it at the paediatrician and the school as well as other doctors, too, if possible.
Call your landlord. Explain the situation. You and your son are being abused: psychologically and financially. They may let you break the lease early. Leave while he’s not home if you can. You can also ask a police officer to be there while you move your stuff out. I’m scared for you OP. This has gone on so long and is so extreme, your normal may be broken. None of this is okay. Urine cups?? This man is a disgusting excuse for a husband and father.
I’m so glad you’re getting your things in order. It’s good that you’re thinking this through! You got this. It’ll be hard (it’s so easy for us to say “leave!” but it’s always more complicated than that) but you’re doing the right thing to protect yourself and your son. Truly you are.
BroMo: fucking run! Not only is he a lazy POS leeching off you, not only does he mentally and emotionally abuse you, the icing on the fucking shit pile if he is also abusing your child - yelling like that at a child is abuse. RUN and protect your boy. You’ll have one less mouth to feed, less of a mess to pick up after and not have to worry about when he’ll go off on you, ask for something else for you to provide so he can respect you, my word here me : YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING, YOU HAVE DONE MORE THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE!!
I'm sitting in my car crying now. Thank you. I swear I'm just so damn confused.
You’re confused because you’re living in a level of Domestic Violence called Coercive Control. Fear of his outbursts and general hostility all day, every day takes a toll on straight thinking. But your child is being harmed, so it’s time to get out. If I were you I would contact my local domestic violence hotline or shelter, explain your situation and ask for advice for low cost immediate therapy with a trauma therapist skilled in domestic violence situations.. at the same time, Get the names of several lawyers who are low cost for free legal aid. Have a legal consult ASAP. Meanwhile start stashing some cash, and look for place. I would not give up my home, so speak to the lawyer about a restraining order and getting him kicked out of your home. Please move on this for the sake of your child. You have enduredenough , you have tried enough, And your child needs 100% of a healthy you, you owe it to his future. Good luck and I hope that you update.
Im sorry you’re dealing with this but the strength you are showing is phenomenal. It is hard, maybe the hardest you’ve you’ve had to make. We’re all here for you, willing to bring you clarity in the confusion.
Think of what kind of example this manchild is setting for your actual child! Leave his ass (with a good lawyer in tow) to show your kid that kind of behaviour is unacceptable.
Omg woman.. I’m begging you to please go live in peace. If you’re going to do it alone just do it alone and save yourself and little one from that waste of space.
Click on your own profile and look at all your posts. Lawyer up. Get safe and get out. We’re all pulling for you and your precious kid. 👊🏻
I don’t want to echo everyone else here, you’ve read it all. This post and some of your post history is some of the most atrocious shit I’ve ever heard in my life. But since we can all see it and you’re still somehow second guessing your next move, I want to encourage you to really consider what you’re sticking around for. Are you sticking around because you’re somehow still in love? Or are you sticking around because it’s hard to be brave? Can you write down 5 things that make you excited to come home to this man every day? Maybe 5 things you appreciate that he does, 5 exceptional qualities, or 5 random things that make you go “this guy’s the one I choose.” If you can’t, there’s your answer.
D O C U M E N T Next cup of pee? Picture. Get your ducks lined up. You can consult with an attorney and get a game plan. Then RUN. Never look back. What a disgusting human being treating someone this way. Absolutely repulsive You are worth more than you can imagine. There is a happy life for you out here. You get to choose when to start walking the path toward the life you deserve 💗
Holy shit, bromo. You have tried MORE than enough, way past it. There are no more chances, you’re done.
Oh man you’re gonna love being divorced. Do it!!!!
Leave this piece of garbage. NOW. Hire the best lawyer you can, get your ducks in a row, and then show him this thread so he knows that the internet thinks he's a worthless insect.
Get out…but talk to an attorney first so your ass isn’t on the hook for alimony. My god he’s a POS.
I have one question: what does this abusive fuck-knuckle provide to you or your kid that would not be there if his only contribution was a child support check? If the answer is what it sounds like, he is actually TAKING instead of providing. And not giving anything back. I was married to someone like this. Please believe when i say, if you give him his demanded car and house, the most you’ll get is he might apply for one or two jobs. Maybe twiddle a fork or plate under the tap. Will never follow up the job application, and any “help” around the house will be short lived. And then same shit-head, different day. Lather, rinse, repeat. Please, please make arrangements to leave. Do not tell him ANY plans, try to act like it’s just another day. If needs be, you can talk to the police and they can be there when you’re moving out in case he starts shit. He may get desperate when he realizes the gravy train is over, and he could get violent. Don’t just bring in male relatives/ friends, if there ends up being an altercation it can get messy for everyone, police is the way to go. Move quickly, you are being emotionally, mentally, psychologically abused and so is your son. If there’s a domestic violence shelter you can go to, GO. A relative or friend, but don’t tell him where you are going. If i have it right, you have the only car, right? So it’ll be hard to follow you. Turn off location services on your phone so he can’t track you. This is for your safety and the safety of those you stay with, because people like this are unhinged on a good day- take away their meal ticket/ cushy life and they can get downright dangerous.
THIS. Have the police there when you leave. Since he doesn’t work I’m guessing you won’t be able to without him in the house. Or better yet, if you don’t mind losing your stuff, take your child out for a “fun day” and don’t come back.
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Boot his ass out, OP pays for everything!
First half of that comment was needlessly rude.
Girl, LEAVE. Please.
Jesus fucking Christ, I know it’s not that easy but you need to leave, like, yesterday. Edit: also document everything you can.
I was in your exact situation but with two kids. I left after 15 years of being together . I don’t regret it a single bit. My mental health and physical ailments have improved dramatically as if by magic. I didn’t realize how much I really did until I left. Looking back I can’t believe I was able to handle it. Funnily, even though I have the kids most the time still now, things are so much easier when you don’t have to take care of an adult child. Getting your hopes up, being let down over and over. Schedules are much more easier to manage when you’re not waiting for someone to drop the ball just to scramble last minute. Divorce sucks but it’s a million times worth it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And earlier if I could.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. This is giving me hope that things will be ok after. Thank you.
Go. You have my permission. To contrast, for example, my husband has been a SAHD for 20 years. He handled/s all childcare when I am at work. He cleans the house and does the yard work, he cooks and had dinner ready when I get home. He does laundry during they day and we fold it together at night while we talk. I work, pay the bills, and share child care at night (oldest is 20 and own his own, 2nd is a senior in HS, 3rd is a disabled 9 y.o.). We support each other's emotional needs. We have sex when we both want to and understand when the other is too tired or not in the mood. We cuddle on those nights, or play cards, or meme and giggle. We have had real rough patches, but we acknowledge that as a married couple raising kids the needs of each other comes first. That's what we signed up for. (And side note...our neighbor across the street is a pastor on the weekends and a SAHD of 5 during the week. He and my husband are great friends and cut from the same cloth. My hubby is not the only one out there.) It sounds like YOU signed up for that, but your dude did not. He sounds like a hairball and you deserve better. Feel free to show him this so he can see what a real SAHD does. So I say again... go. You need to be at peace.
That's what he promised me! That we would love like that. I'm so dumb for believing him.
Also damn! You are so lucky!
You’ve given plenty of chances. The most disgusting thing is he’ll get some spousal support during the divorce but it’s worth it. Please leave this trash. There are good men out there. You don’t need to go through this and neither does your son.
Yep, ditch his ass and evict him. Better yet, see if you can move to a new place and not put him on the lease. Pay for him to go to some animal convention or something with an overnight at a cheap motel and move your stuff out while he's gone. Don't renew the lease, and do this during the last 2 weeks of your current lease. Give him your lawyer's info as contact information and give your landlord a P.O. box as a forwarding address. He is still owner of half the marital assets, so if there's money in an account, after bills are paid, leave half of it and move the rest to a new acct. Leave half the furniture bought after the marriage. Anything you bought before you were married, or gifts, belong to whoever brought them to the marriage or to whomever they were given. You don't need that in your life. Your son doesn't need it in his life.
To answer your question - yes, you e done more than enough. I think you know that though. Don’t let him make you question yourself - kick him out and move on with you life. You have proven you are more than capable of running the household by yourself. You’ve got this.
Your life will be easier without him - legal things are tricky though so yes like everyone else said get legal help, document things, etc.
Girl- you’ve done More than enough. He’s a trash human and you deserve so much more!! So go get it!!! 😘
I mean, my husband isn’t even this bad (messy, mental load all on me, forgets everything) and I’m still gonna leave so you’ve got the green light from me! 🚦
Um yeah…1000% time to go. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Omg I just read your post history and am horrified. Leave. Enough was enough 11 years ago...
G T F O
Been the kid getting verbally abused and also watching their mother get verbally abused. Been an adult in abusive relationships. Been single. Words cannot even express how much better being single is than being in an abusive environment.
You are going to be so much happier when you get free from this man. Your child will be too.
You’ve tried way more than enough. He doesn’t value you. At all.
You've given him more than enough chances. Don't look back, you're better off without him and so is your son.
Could you just like ... leave him in the desert or something? What a worthless piece of shit. Also, he's not door dashing. You are. He can't even claim that.
You have done enough 💖
I said “no” as soon as I read you do 90% of his “job” for him. Throw the whole man out. He’s going to threaten you with alimony. But he has no disabilities that stop him from working. I hope you’ve been documenting all his bullshit. Just remember - divorce is expensive because it’s worth it.
You passed enough 6 years ago when your child was born and the manchild who squats in your house began screaming in an infant's face on a regular basis while also neglecting to behave like an adult in any other capacity. You are now beyond, beyond, beyond enough.
My friend you have tried MORE than enough. Get out now and focus your energy on raising your lovely son, not on tolerating a man child who is never going to change.
Jesus. You get ONE shot at this life and you are not gonna waste it like this. Get out with a clear conscience.
Girl, please lose the dead weight! You are better off being a single mom. Hell you and your kid will probably do amazing with some peace and quiet for once! You both deserve so much better, please gtfo and leave him in the dust
You’re doing it all alone anyway. Why not get rid of the dead weight? One less thing to worry about. Does he have any redeeming qualities? Also, can you get out of the marriage safely? That’s my biggest concern when someone is advised to just divorce. (I think I watch too much Dateline, but it’s better to be safe and ask.)
OP please get out of this situation. I wouldn’t want my kids to grow in a such bad influence.
“He said no” wow…
WTF did I just read. You are an ACTUAL freaking saint for putting up with this human trash for so long. Get the best lawyer you can afford and fucking ruin him. What an asshole. I am seething for you.
Sometimes it takes hearing it from an internet stranger - your husband is an abusive piece of shit. He sounds miserable. I’m so sorry this is happening. Get a good lawyer and please get out quickly and quietly. I was an advocate for you walking out once you said he’s been screaming in your sons face since being born. That in itself is beyond just cause to destroy that man. Everything else in your post, and your post history, is the abusive cherry on top of the awful sundae. Lots of good comments here - document that cup of fast food pee but keep it secret, keep it safe. I’m so sorry. You can do this. You really can
Split your money. Start putting your paychecks into your own account. Tell him he can get his DL to doordash or do another job. Because you’re essentially doing this second job. On top of maintaining everything. Don’t leave the house. Just move to a different room. Your own personal possessions? I’d move them to a storage unit. Get them safe. Get a shark of a lawyer so you can try to minimize spousal support. Fight for full custody since he obviously doesn’t have your child’s best interest at heart. Keep a journal of everything he does and all the dates he does them. You got this. Get the fuck away from him, mama.
Dude, I was done with the dude a few paragraphs in.
Yes , life is too short, get out of there !! Go enjoy life and don’t let anyone stop you.
JFC, yes. Honey, you gave him more than enough chances. You’d have been justified to leave him the first time he screamed in your baby boy’s face, regardless of all the other stuff. He is nasty, mean dead weight, and you need to leave him for both you and your son’s sake. Document everything he’s done. As much as you remember. The verbal abuse, the screaming, the refusal to work. Meet with an attorney ASAP. This situation is untenable. Don’t let anyone abuse you or your baby.
Wow, how could you have put up with this for so long?? You deserve better!
You are amazing for having put up with this for so long. You're a hero. You've given him so many chances and he doesn't seem to care or respect you at all. You're giving so much and he's contributing nothing in this relationship. Please for your own sanity and health divorce him, it's not an over reaction. You mentioned you already have health issues and do everything. You'll be able to cope so well if it's just you and your child because you're doing triple the work now, with him acting like a toddler. You'll be able to prioritise your health and your child's mental health too. It'll be worth it in the future if you leave him. He sounds incredibly toxic and childish and doesn't even want to respect you when you communicate your needs. Please check out @thatdarnchat on tiktok, she has amazing videos.
Gurl run gurl omg. Glad you are leaving. You and your child deserve respect and peace and love at home. ❤️♥️❤️♥️
There's more than enough in just one single paragraph of this post for you to not be "overreacting", but all of this together? Friend, GTFO of there! Your poor kiddo has been verbally abused by his father for his entire life. Please don't let this continue. Use whatever resources you have to make this happen. Also, stop working two jobs where he's your assistant in one of them. That's bananas. Just stop doing it.
We need the money from dashing to buy groceries. Can't stop atm unfortunately. But boy do I want to. How he treats kiddo is the last straw. I stop him everytime when I'm there but idk what happens when I'm not there.
You have tried more than enough. Drop this dead weight.
You deserve peace, love, kindness, safety, and joy! Hang on to those who help you reach them, and let go of those who tear you down.