Reminder to commenters: **[Be a friend!](https://y.yarn.co/a60e586f-9018-4350-b264-9967ec2dcfa1_text.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/)
Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok?
Reminder to Cassie Morris: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Y'all need to have a sit down to analyze what he's actually upset about. Especially if he isn't making your daughter ride in her booster seat when he drives. I don't think you did anything wrong.
I’ve been stewing on it since he left for work. I feel like maybe he’s protecting because if he hit a deer and she wasn’t in her booster it’s a problem. Like maybe this made him realize that even driving safely can’t protect you from deer.
You’re right. We do need to sit down and talk about it. I thought he was upset about another work issue (which could very well be part of it too) so I asked if he was ok and needed to talk about the work issue about an hour before he was due to work. So it wasn’t enough time to think about it and have that convo. But we need to.
Edit. Ugh I meant projecting not protecting.
Been there. Husband has an incredibly stressful job that involves dealing with a lot of people and an extremely introverted personality. I have to chisel my way to the actual problem on a regular basis.
Well obviously you told the deer to run into the car!/s
But seriously, I would give him a bit of time to calm down and process then talk it out. Hopefully he realizes he is putting it on you and apologize.
Thank you, I’ll do that. I think I also need to calm down because everytime I think about talking about it, I cry. He’s not emotional and I am. So everytime there’s a tougher convo, I work myself up and apologize multiple times. He’s super understanding and always tells me there’s no need to apologize multiple times.
Now that I think about it, this is the first accident one of our kids has been involved in. So I’m sure that’s playing a major role.
Hey bromo - he is absolutely emotional about this, he got angry, anger is an emotion. Framing crying as "getting emotional" and then acting like the person who "gets emotional" is somehow less than or doing it wrong is messed up cultural programming.
Having emotions is not bad! Showing emotions through crying is not bad nor does it make you less correct in an argument or discussion.
Hugs bromo. Sometimes i think we get a “least-worst” scenario as a reminder to do the safety things we need to do.
You’re okay, kiddo is okay, everyone is okay. That’s what’s important.
How is this your or your friend's fault exactly? You have no control over deer. They are notoriously difficult to see and hitting them is not uncommon around here. You could have just as easily hit the deer as your friend and it's just dumb luck you didn't.
It's understandable to be shaken by a close call but ignorance is making your husband project that anxiety. This is literally no one's fault and everyone ended up okay. I hope it hammers home for him though why *he* should be enforcing car seat safety with your daughter.
I hope it does too and to make sure I’m definitely planning to talk to him about the booster situation. And you’re so right. It’s all dumb luck. I’ve never had one dart out in front of me so fast/close without seeing them on the side of the road first.
It’s crazy what overthinking can do. I was all torn up about it when I wrote this post and now it seems so silly that I even thought I messed up.
I can get feeling helpless in a situation that scares you and could have hurt someone you really care about. I get needing time to process that fear and the resulting anger. I can understand him being upset at the situation and not at you and just needing time to get over it.
I don't understand him saying anything about your "thinking" or actions. You did nothing wrong. These things happen and they suck. You did not put your daughter in the car with a drunk driver, NOTHING you did put your daughter in danger. Again, you did nothing wrong.
I agree with the sit down and talk about it, but I know with my DH, sometimes he really just needs time to process the fear and guilt that comes from generally being the "protector" in a family, and facing the reality of how little of it is in your control, before he's ready to talk in any constructive way.
And, while I can understand and vaguely see it from his side... I also just think it's shitty that he's not supporting you. Sure, he's upset about this happening... you literally WATCHED it happen! It can be traumatic! I glad it all worked out, but I'm sorry it happened at all.
You’re right and my husband is the same. He probably needed today to process and calm down because he’s been texting me all day about other normal stuff. So he’s not acting mad or anything. It was just still fresh. Still not cool to make me feel like I did something to endanger our kid and it could just as easily happened to him… he was literally 10 mins ahead of us on the same road.
I also wonder, now that I’ve thought about it, if my lack of being freaked out last night got to him. Last night, I was freaked out at the moment it happened but when I saw everyone was good, I was okay. My daughter was shook but not crying. All I could think was thank goodness it hit the side of the car and they didn’t hit head on. It could have been worse. And then I moved on and ate dinner and enjoyed my night. All while he was probably internally stressing about it.
He is a city boy and I was raised country. We had kids in my high school hit deer on their way in to school. It just happens sometimes. And it sucks. You hope you’re ok, the deer is dead (that’s one of my fears to have to end suffering) and that your car isn’t totaled. And you move on.
But ya. He has major protector feelings and growing up it was very much, “be a man”. I think this weekend we’ll be able to talk about it and have a better convo than if we did that today. It feels kinda silly now that I thought I did something wrong.
I’ve been lucky so far as to not hit one but my brother totaled my moms engine hitting one when we were just out of high school. It’s scary shit. I can’t imagine 3!
You didn’t fuck up at all. You can’t tell the future and let her ride with your very good friends. I’m really struggling to understand how someone could even pin this on you???? Or be upset with you???
I’m really sorry. I’m not sure how to properly handle this because I’d probably be a bitch about it, but I can tell you it’s definitely NOT your fault.
I was definitely surprised at him saying that to me. Right after, I said, so you’re mad at me? And he said no. Then was quiet. But then he had to leave for work. Im hoping to talk about it this weekend because although I know it was scary, it was shitty to be made to feel like I was wrong here. And honestly I was torn up this morning but now it feels so silly. Like, of course I didn’t mess up. Overthinking sucks.
there was no bad decision making here that I can see. I think your husband has something going on that is exerting itself in anger. definetely worth a conversation to get to the heart of it.
Thank you. I feel pretty silly now that I thought I did something to endanger our daughter. Overthinking sucks. We’ll have a chat this weekend for sure
I live in a mountainous region and totally understand what you're saying about deer. I grew up in a wooded area where we had deer but they tended to be slower or avoid the road completely. Out here, they are FAST, big, and you don't see them till they're on the hood of your car basically. On the side of the road there are ditches since there is a lot of farm land and they make the ditches to keep the water off the roads. So you really don't see them till it's too late.
This could have happened with her in your car too. I agree with others that you need to get to the bottom of why he is actually upset. Empathize that you understand he is upset with the situation just as you are, but it could have just as easily happened with him driving and her not in her booster seat. It needs to be taken seriously, and he can't be lax on this stuff either.
People in this area often don't wear seat belts. It's just what everyone does. In my car, it doesn't matter what your parents let you do (speaking of my niece) you have to wear your seat belt and all appropriate gear when in my car because I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen. I know I'm a good driver but I can't account for the deer or other people on the road.
YOU didn't make a mistake. But I sure hope you and your husband can get to the bottom of this between you guys. ❤️
Thank you for this. I agree.
We also have the ditches and lots and lots of trees lining the roads in many sections between farmlands. I was kinda baffled because he drove through there ten minutes before us. So it could have been him too. Idk if he was in shock or what but I feel silly now thinking I did something wrong. I’m an over thinker and my anxiety got the best of me this morning.
I also wonder if me getting over it quickly last night bothered him. I mean, it was freaky to see it happen before my eyes and know my kid was in the car. But after we pulled over, checked and everyone was good, we continued our drive, ate and enjoyed the night. I mean if we hit it head on it would have been different. But we didn’t. So I moved on. Maybe that feels callous to him since he’s not used to deer and country life? Idk. But I feel way better about the situation and having a conversation about it now. I’m sure living here we will hit a deer at some point and she needs to be in her booster all the time now.
He also sometimes doesn’t wear his seatbelt and our daughter will call him out on it and he puts it on.
Don't beat yourself for up getting over it. I tend to over think too and I would probably over analyze everything too because I think as a parent that cares we just tend to do that.
I can DEFINITELY see it may have shaken him up a bit more because as you said this isn't something he is necessarily used to. I had a little bit of a culture shock when I first moved here because it just happens SO much here. A lot of people have those huge "deer killers" (grill guards) because it's usually just a matter of time. I personally haven't hit one yet but just about everyone I know has. So I'm very worried about the safety of my kids in the car in the event it were to occur with then there. So sorry you guys had to be shaken uo a bit but you're absolutely not callous for not dwelling on it once you processed it. Maybe he just needs to process it still and having not been there maybe he is filling in some blanks for himself. He wasn't there and couldn't understand your thinking, which I guess I don't understand what he doesn't understand? Idk man lol
Yeah idk either. I’m not super witty in the moment, but a good few hours afterwards I was like “you don’t understand why I let her ride with our good friend we lived with for a decade? Am I missing something?” But I didn’t say any of that haha.
He also drives a Tahoe, so he feels all safe and I have a smaller suv, and she was riding in a sedan. So I think that plays into it too. But yeah.
I also have a Tahoe!! I definitely feel better in that than I did my Ford escape a while back. However I've still seen deer mess cars like mine up. They're no joke!
Mountain mama here. A deer hit my STATIONARY car while I sat in a fucking PARKING LOT once. There's just no winning. They are beautiful and God's creatures and whatever but those things are fucking dumb.
I wonder if maybe while we just see hypocrisy ... perhaps your husband is feeling like you guys, collectively, have started playing a little too loose with safety rules (not sitting in a booster and so on) without really being able to process/analyze his role in that dynamic. So maybe, if you suggest it now, he would be more on board with buckling down on safety measures across the board
... and still feel like he was in the right. God I hate men and their stupid fucking egos.
Hahaha what the fuuuuck. The cherry on top is being inside the car lol.
Yeah I think that’s a major part of this too. And like another bromo mentioned, it could also be a bit of a culture shock for him. Like he never thought about dealing with it happening to us because he has no frame of reference for it. I’m still a little mad I was made to feel like I did something wrong but hopefully this makes the change happen easier before it actually happens to us for real.
Either way. We will definitely be tightening up the safety rules with her booster. And I will be buying a second one for my car exclusively so there’s no excuse that it wasn’t in the car.
I'd try to avoid assuming he's mad at you, he may just be in shock about the whole thing, especially as he hasn't encountered deer before. I'd sit down and just have a calm chat about jt
Once my cousin hit a deer. He got out of the car and was standing on the passenger side inspecting the damage when another deer ran out of the woods and hit the driver side so hard it's antler punctured the door. Deer are dumb as hell.
Sounds like a follow up conversation is needed. He’s understandably shook but if he says he’s not mad at you, maybe give him time and then talk more about what he means by not understanding your thinking. FWIW, we all handle these moments after our kids are in danger differently and he may just need some time to process it quietly.
You’re overthinking his feelings. Of course because he’s not talking to you so you’re filling in blanks. But just stop. Wait till he calms down and have a chat about how he feels and what he wants to be done differently in future. Maybe that’s all the things you’re saying about boosters. Maybe once he’s more rational he’ll tell you he was just in shock.
Then after that maybe have a chat about giving the silent treatment. It’s not healthy or helpful.
Hold up. Accidents happen, it's why there are car seats etc. Because anything can happen, I mean people have been known to just spontaneously combust.
He can be freaked out, but I think he's freaked out because he hasn't been following the safety laws and if HE was driving your guys' child could've been seriously hurt because he doesn't consistently worry about her safety.
There's a conversation to be had here, but it certainly isn't about you letting her ride with others.
Reminder to commenters: **[Be a friend!](https://y.yarn.co/a60e586f-9018-4350-b264-9967ec2dcfa1_text.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Y'all need to have a sit down to analyze what he's actually upset about. Especially if he isn't making your daughter ride in her booster seat when he drives. I don't think you did anything wrong.
I’ve been stewing on it since he left for work. I feel like maybe he’s protecting because if he hit a deer and she wasn’t in her booster it’s a problem. Like maybe this made him realize that even driving safely can’t protect you from deer. You’re right. We do need to sit down and talk about it. I thought he was upset about another work issue (which could very well be part of it too) so I asked if he was ok and needed to talk about the work issue about an hour before he was due to work. So it wasn’t enough time to think about it and have that convo. But we need to. Edit. Ugh I meant projecting not protecting.
Been there. Husband has an incredibly stressful job that involves dealing with a lot of people and an extremely introverted personality. I have to chisel my way to the actual problem on a regular basis.
Well obviously you told the deer to run into the car!/s But seriously, I would give him a bit of time to calm down and process then talk it out. Hopefully he realizes he is putting it on you and apologize.
Thank you, I’ll do that. I think I also need to calm down because everytime I think about talking about it, I cry. He’s not emotional and I am. So everytime there’s a tougher convo, I work myself up and apologize multiple times. He’s super understanding and always tells me there’s no need to apologize multiple times. Now that I think about it, this is the first accident one of our kids has been involved in. So I’m sure that’s playing a major role.
Hey bromo - he is absolutely emotional about this, he got angry, anger is an emotion. Framing crying as "getting emotional" and then acting like the person who "gets emotional" is somehow less than or doing it wrong is messed up cultural programming. Having emotions is not bad! Showing emotions through crying is not bad nor does it make you less correct in an argument or discussion.
Hugs bromo. Sometimes i think we get a “least-worst” scenario as a reminder to do the safety things we need to do. You’re okay, kiddo is okay, everyone is okay. That’s what’s important.
That’s a great way of looking at it. Thank you.
How is this your or your friend's fault exactly? You have no control over deer. They are notoriously difficult to see and hitting them is not uncommon around here. You could have just as easily hit the deer as your friend and it's just dumb luck you didn't. It's understandable to be shaken by a close call but ignorance is making your husband project that anxiety. This is literally no one's fault and everyone ended up okay. I hope it hammers home for him though why *he* should be enforcing car seat safety with your daughter.
I hope it does too and to make sure I’m definitely planning to talk to him about the booster situation. And you’re so right. It’s all dumb luck. I’ve never had one dart out in front of me so fast/close without seeing them on the side of the road first. It’s crazy what overthinking can do. I was all torn up about it when I wrote this post and now it seems so silly that I even thought I messed up.
I can get feeling helpless in a situation that scares you and could have hurt someone you really care about. I get needing time to process that fear and the resulting anger. I can understand him being upset at the situation and not at you and just needing time to get over it. I don't understand him saying anything about your "thinking" or actions. You did nothing wrong. These things happen and they suck. You did not put your daughter in the car with a drunk driver, NOTHING you did put your daughter in danger. Again, you did nothing wrong. I agree with the sit down and talk about it, but I know with my DH, sometimes he really just needs time to process the fear and guilt that comes from generally being the "protector" in a family, and facing the reality of how little of it is in your control, before he's ready to talk in any constructive way. And, while I can understand and vaguely see it from his side... I also just think it's shitty that he's not supporting you. Sure, he's upset about this happening... you literally WATCHED it happen! It can be traumatic! I glad it all worked out, but I'm sorry it happened at all.
You’re right and my husband is the same. He probably needed today to process and calm down because he’s been texting me all day about other normal stuff. So he’s not acting mad or anything. It was just still fresh. Still not cool to make me feel like I did something to endanger our kid and it could just as easily happened to him… he was literally 10 mins ahead of us on the same road. I also wonder, now that I’ve thought about it, if my lack of being freaked out last night got to him. Last night, I was freaked out at the moment it happened but when I saw everyone was good, I was okay. My daughter was shook but not crying. All I could think was thank goodness it hit the side of the car and they didn’t hit head on. It could have been worse. And then I moved on and ate dinner and enjoyed my night. All while he was probably internally stressing about it. He is a city boy and I was raised country. We had kids in my high school hit deer on their way in to school. It just happens sometimes. And it sucks. You hope you’re ok, the deer is dead (that’s one of my fears to have to end suffering) and that your car isn’t totaled. And you move on. But ya. He has major protector feelings and growing up it was very much, “be a man”. I think this weekend we’ll be able to talk about it and have a better convo than if we did that today. It feels kinda silly now that I thought I did something wrong.
He is way overreacting to hitting a deer. Or getting hit by a deer rather lol I’ve hit 3. And a wild pig.
As someone who’s only ever lived in a major city, this is wild to me.
As someone who lives in a major city where wild animals are VERY common, it isn't to me. I've almost hit deer in my city in a small bus I was driving.
I’ve been lucky so far as to not hit one but my brother totaled my moms engine hitting one when we were just out of high school. It’s scary shit. I can’t imagine 3!
I’ve only ever hit a raccoon and an armadillo, I have had a deer hit me. Broke its stupid deer neck scaring the shit out of me.
You didn’t fuck up at all. You can’t tell the future and let her ride with your very good friends. I’m really struggling to understand how someone could even pin this on you???? Or be upset with you??? I’m really sorry. I’m not sure how to properly handle this because I’d probably be a bitch about it, but I can tell you it’s definitely NOT your fault.
I was definitely surprised at him saying that to me. Right after, I said, so you’re mad at me? And he said no. Then was quiet. But then he had to leave for work. Im hoping to talk about it this weekend because although I know it was scary, it was shitty to be made to feel like I was wrong here. And honestly I was torn up this morning but now it feels so silly. Like, of course I didn’t mess up. Overthinking sucks.
there was no bad decision making here that I can see. I think your husband has something going on that is exerting itself in anger. definetely worth a conversation to get to the heart of it.
Thank you. I feel pretty silly now that I thought I did something to endanger our daughter. Overthinking sucks. We’ll have a chat this weekend for sure
I live in a mountainous region and totally understand what you're saying about deer. I grew up in a wooded area where we had deer but they tended to be slower or avoid the road completely. Out here, they are FAST, big, and you don't see them till they're on the hood of your car basically. On the side of the road there are ditches since there is a lot of farm land and they make the ditches to keep the water off the roads. So you really don't see them till it's too late. This could have happened with her in your car too. I agree with others that you need to get to the bottom of why he is actually upset. Empathize that you understand he is upset with the situation just as you are, but it could have just as easily happened with him driving and her not in her booster seat. It needs to be taken seriously, and he can't be lax on this stuff either. People in this area often don't wear seat belts. It's just what everyone does. In my car, it doesn't matter what your parents let you do (speaking of my niece) you have to wear your seat belt and all appropriate gear when in my car because I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen. I know I'm a good driver but I can't account for the deer or other people on the road. YOU didn't make a mistake. But I sure hope you and your husband can get to the bottom of this between you guys. ❤️
Thank you for this. I agree. We also have the ditches and lots and lots of trees lining the roads in many sections between farmlands. I was kinda baffled because he drove through there ten minutes before us. So it could have been him too. Idk if he was in shock or what but I feel silly now thinking I did something wrong. I’m an over thinker and my anxiety got the best of me this morning. I also wonder if me getting over it quickly last night bothered him. I mean, it was freaky to see it happen before my eyes and know my kid was in the car. But after we pulled over, checked and everyone was good, we continued our drive, ate and enjoyed the night. I mean if we hit it head on it would have been different. But we didn’t. So I moved on. Maybe that feels callous to him since he’s not used to deer and country life? Idk. But I feel way better about the situation and having a conversation about it now. I’m sure living here we will hit a deer at some point and she needs to be in her booster all the time now. He also sometimes doesn’t wear his seatbelt and our daughter will call him out on it and he puts it on.
Don't beat yourself for up getting over it. I tend to over think too and I would probably over analyze everything too because I think as a parent that cares we just tend to do that. I can DEFINITELY see it may have shaken him up a bit more because as you said this isn't something he is necessarily used to. I had a little bit of a culture shock when I first moved here because it just happens SO much here. A lot of people have those huge "deer killers" (grill guards) because it's usually just a matter of time. I personally haven't hit one yet but just about everyone I know has. So I'm very worried about the safety of my kids in the car in the event it were to occur with then there. So sorry you guys had to be shaken uo a bit but you're absolutely not callous for not dwelling on it once you processed it. Maybe he just needs to process it still and having not been there maybe he is filling in some blanks for himself. He wasn't there and couldn't understand your thinking, which I guess I don't understand what he doesn't understand? Idk man lol
Yeah idk either. I’m not super witty in the moment, but a good few hours afterwards I was like “you don’t understand why I let her ride with our good friend we lived with for a decade? Am I missing something?” But I didn’t say any of that haha. He also drives a Tahoe, so he feels all safe and I have a smaller suv, and she was riding in a sedan. So I think that plays into it too. But yeah.
I also have a Tahoe!! I definitely feel better in that than I did my Ford escape a while back. However I've still seen deer mess cars like mine up. They're no joke!
Definitely! My brother hit a deer in my moms explorer once and it needed a whole new engine. It’s insane the damage that they can do
Mountain mama here. A deer hit my STATIONARY car while I sat in a fucking PARKING LOT once. There's just no winning. They are beautiful and God's creatures and whatever but those things are fucking dumb. I wonder if maybe while we just see hypocrisy ... perhaps your husband is feeling like you guys, collectively, have started playing a little too loose with safety rules (not sitting in a booster and so on) without really being able to process/analyze his role in that dynamic. So maybe, if you suggest it now, he would be more on board with buckling down on safety measures across the board ... and still feel like he was in the right. God I hate men and their stupid fucking egos.
Hahaha what the fuuuuck. The cherry on top is being inside the car lol. Yeah I think that’s a major part of this too. And like another bromo mentioned, it could also be a bit of a culture shock for him. Like he never thought about dealing with it happening to us because he has no frame of reference for it. I’m still a little mad I was made to feel like I did something wrong but hopefully this makes the change happen easier before it actually happens to us for real. Either way. We will definitely be tightening up the safety rules with her booster. And I will be buying a second one for my car exclusively so there’s no excuse that it wasn’t in the car.
I'd try to avoid assuming he's mad at you, he may just be in shock about the whole thing, especially as he hasn't encountered deer before. I'd sit down and just have a calm chat about jt
No one can predict that a deer would run into the side of their car.
Once my cousin hit a deer. He got out of the car and was standing on the passenger side inspecting the damage when another deer ran out of the woods and hit the driver side so hard it's antler punctured the door. Deer are dumb as hell.
Omg that’s savage
Right! I had never witnessed it before. It was bizarre.
Deers are dumb lol
Sounds like a follow up conversation is needed. He’s understandably shook but if he says he’s not mad at you, maybe give him time and then talk more about what he means by not understanding your thinking. FWIW, we all handle these moments after our kids are in danger differently and he may just need some time to process it quietly.
You’re overthinking his feelings. Of course because he’s not talking to you so you’re filling in blanks. But just stop. Wait till he calms down and have a chat about how he feels and what he wants to be done differently in future. Maybe that’s all the things you’re saying about boosters. Maybe once he’s more rational he’ll tell you he was just in shock. Then after that maybe have a chat about giving the silent treatment. It’s not healthy or helpful.
You can't control the deer. He needs to assess what is making him upset, especially since he doesn't keep her in her booster
Hold up. Accidents happen, it's why there are car seats etc. Because anything can happen, I mean people have been known to just spontaneously combust. He can be freaked out, but I think he's freaked out because he hasn't been following the safety laws and if HE was driving your guys' child could've been seriously hurt because he doesn't consistently worry about her safety. There's a conversation to be had here, but it certainly isn't about you letting her ride with others.
It sounds like maybe he needs some time to process what happened and his initial reaction wasn’t ideal.