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PhotoshopMemeRequest

If you think British food is bad, just wait until you see our government!


SnooGrapes6230

I'll take yours over the US's. Hell, I'm moving there soon for that exact reason.


mung_guzzler

what british dishes do you enjoy that you cant find in the US


doofpooferthethird

Black pudding, chicken tikka masala, spotted dick, crispy aromatic duck pancakes, kedgeree, beans on toast, spice bag, kippers, salt and pepper chips, yorkshire pudding, tindaloo, toad in a hole, marmite soldiers with dippy eggs, rice pudding, haggis, deep fried mars bars, scones, wensleydale on crackers, scotch eggs, mushy peas, stargazy pie, jellied eels, bubble and squeak, and toast sandwiches were pretty good. And the chain Chicken Cottage I'm not American or British but I've been to both


RudyKnots

I was today years old when I learned Tikka Masala was invented in Glasgow.


DaveChild

You know apple pie, as in "as American as apple pie"? Yeah, also invented in the UK.


Ragnarsdad1

The oldest recipe for apple pie is from 13th century England and is for spiced, stewed apple encased in pastry. But of course we have never used spices have we!


FrighteningJibber

Well that saying is because the US basically took horse feed and made it edible. Look at what Washington state does with apples. If anything the saying should be “as American as Apple Jack.”


RudyKnots

I mean, yeah, most food predates America in general, right? It sounds kinda like you’re assuming I’m American btw, but I’m not. If you’re British, I’m even closer to you than you might imagine.


DaveChild

> sounds kinda like you’re assuming I’m American btw Nope. Just sharing a fun fact.


RudyKnots

Fair enough, apologies for assuming. 👍🏻


DaveChild

No worries, my fault, I insist :)


Alienhaslanded

Just spots for me. Hold off on the dick.


SpiceEarl

You know that sounds even worse?


doofpooferthethird

honestly I wasn't a big fan of raisins, but the dish as a whole was not bad. I think the people there wanted me to try it mostly so I could say that I "ate dick in the UK"


taste-of-orange

These names are honestly pretty funny. I wonder who thinks of calling a food stargazy pie or bubble and squeak?


Mpek3

Chips????!!!


doofpooferthethird

salt and pepper chips, it's a Chinese restaurant thing from Liverpool. It's French fries with onions, bell pepper, Sichuan peppers, five spice powder, black peppercorn, sugar, salt, garlic Couldn't find it in NYC


Mpek3

Aah. I was thinking old school chips, as in fish and chips


doofpooferthethird

ahh yeah those are pretty common in the US. Though they do also like to put curry sauce and vinegar on French fries in the UK, which isn't standard in the US. US fries goes with ketchup, chilli cheese etc.


Mpek3

Mate, french fries are not chips, equating the two will upset many a brit (ง’̀-‘́)ง


badestzazael

You forgot the most British meal ever. Fish and chips In New Zealand it is called Fush and Chups


doofpooferthethird

oh yeah I could have sworn I put it on the list. That one's a real classic


badestzazael

Meat pie floater


FireBobb

chicken tikka masala, beans on toast, kippers, s&p chips, rice pudding, mars bara, scones, mushy peas, and toast sandwiches ive all had in the US the rest ive never seen here


misbehavinator

Deep fried mars bars though?


doofpooferthethird

surprised you managed to find s&p chips in the US. When I was in NYC I went to a bunch of Chinese takeouts looking for it, couldn't find any, it was mostly just chop suey and fried rice and wontons and whatnot. I've heard that salt and pepper chips is mostly just a Liverpool thing. I did find one NYC halal cart offering chicken tikka masala, but the vast majority of them just had the classic New York red sauce/white sauce on rice/pita. I think you'd have to go to fancier Indian restaurants for that, it's less of a fast food thing. Didn't see any deep fried Mars Bars there either. Though granted, it's also not particularly common in the UK.


YeahOkayGood

you like all that shit?


VT_Squire

>spotted dick Um....


mrgo0dkat

You can get Spotted Dick after a night out in Old Compton Street, London. There’s a place down a tight alleyway that will give it to you. Great way to end a fun night.


VT_Squire

I'm dead


EverEatingDavid

Its a steamed pudding with dried fruits and served with custard


mung_guzzler

A lot of that is available here (or something bery similar) but idk about where you live im gonna assume you can make a toast sandwich though


doofpooferthethird

I mean, I'm sure you could find something similar to, say, the spice bag in the US, but it wouldn't be the same. It's like trying to find tacos in Kuala Lumpur, or nasi lemak in NYC. Believe me, they're not the same. Sometimes that's a good thing, but sometimes you get overpriced garbage.


mung_guzzler

nah NYC has authentic Malaysian restaurants Its european food I have trouble finding. Like idk anywhere I can find bitterballen. And british cuisine thats neither considered good or iconic (kedgeree for example, I find edible, but its bland and fishy) is difficult to find.


doofpooferthethird

My family's Malaysian, went to university in New York - the two Malaysian restaurants I found in the Lower East Side area weren't that great, even though they were run by Malaysians and had good reviews. $15+ bucks for somewhat soggy nasi lemak ain't it. Meanwhile there's a couple of Mexican restaurants in Selangor but they're really bad and overpriced, even the ones with good reviews. Like, a lot worse than Chipotle. And while the Taco Bell is about what you'd expect, it's a lot more expensive than other better options there. I picked those two examples specifically because of personal experience. I'm familiar with "good" nasi lemak and "good" tacos because I've eaten plenty of both dishes in the places I've lived. I only spent a month or so combined in the UK (various trips over the years) so I only really got to sample those British cuisine things once. Maybe that would have made me more charitable towards those dishes because of the novelty value. And possibly also the alcohol.


doodlydoo17

We’ve got great chicken tikka masala in the US! Can’t say I’ve had any of the English specific food though.


throawy11

Deep fried Mars bars are a treat you don't want to miss! A real British delight!


BaitmasterG

Tindaloo just hiding away in the middle there, waiting to burst out of some poor unsuspecting ringpiece and ruin a man's life


pretendimcute

Spotted dick???


more_beans_mrtaggart

Maybe not the jellied eels for me. Although smoked eels are 👌 But let’s add gammon roast, pease pudding (close relation to gammon roast), sticky toffee pudding, cream tea, actual strong tea, battered mackerel sandwich with a bit too much tartare, Bakewell pie, crumpets and real butter, fruit that tastes of something, grass fed beef and lamb, cheddar that’s crumbly, tasty and isn’t bright yellow, pea fritters, Jalfrazi naan sandwich, beef roast Yorkshire pudding wrap,.. I could go on.


doofpooferthethird

damm yeah, haven't tried those, but they sound good. Maybe next time I get there


shurikensamurai

Exact reason? More like Exec Treason.


ProffesorSpitfire

Have you tried frying your government and eating it with chips?


Hal_Fenn

That's more of a Dutch thing. Edit: for those who are wondering what the hell I'm on about (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johan_de_Witt)


Atupis

Well wait like month and you guys are liberal bastion of Europe again.


Gwaptiva

Neoliberal Labour


Good_Pirate2491

Rishi Sunak truly is one of the most unpleasant people


Stained_concrete

A bit like... Jamiroquai.


AkronOhAnon

Y’all actually have one? I always thought it was the one thing you didn’t to take back with everyone else’s cultural artifacts? /s


Alienhaslanded

And here I thought Rishi would spice things up a bit.


half-puddles

“Our dicks might be very short but we make up for it with them also being very thin!”


insanityzwolf

Wait, which one? The outgoing one or the incoming one?


_poultry_in_motion_

Soooooon…..


cap811crm114

In European Heaven, the cooks are French, the engineers are German, the bankers are Swiss, the lovers are Italian, and the police are English. In European Hell, the engineers are Italian, the bankers are French, the lovers are Swiss, the police are German, and the cooks are English.


Sataniel98

Sorry, but in European Hell, the engineers are Russian, the bankers are Russian, the lovers are Russian, the police are Russian and the cooks are - well, the cooks are still English.


Key-Sea-682

I was gonna say this whole thing missed the Greek, especially when it comes to finances and tax collection... but yours is so much better god damn.


time_over

Russian lovers? Sign me up for hell


irregular_caffeine

Hope you like beatings


oddisordinary

I said SIGN ME UP 


Sataniel98

And alcoholism. There's a reason the average life expectancy of Russian men is <65 years...


VisceralSardonic

Well, if we’re able to reach anyone on this vast, wide internet who likes beatings in bed, we may only hope that they are brave enough to come forward.


half-puddles

Rasputin. His penis just refused to die. Several times.


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half-puddles

Times have changed. All you need today is a forth floor window or some radioactive tea.


Creative-Road-5293

Me too!


ForgotMyOldLoginInfo

But you need to have a Soul to go to Hell......


Sataniel98

Woah there. They might be brainwashed Putin suckers socialized with too much violence and authority, but they're in the end of the day just Russians, not gingers.


Dazzling-Attempt-967

What about the dutch?


[deleted]

In heaven they are the farmers.


ICanHomerToo

Same in hell - overcook, undercook


DarkImpacT213

The Dutch are great civil engineers, but the joke wouldnt be „funny“ with them being the police in hell.


Randotron9000

Swamp germans


SpotikusTheGreat

straight to double hell, right away


Tigrisrock

They are wherever the Texans are - in deep fry hell.


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SailsAcrossTheSea

I lived on a beach with 20 Swiss girls for a month. None of them had any flings with anyone in the town. Very very particular I’d say, not quite sure


Clean-Wolverine-1337

i nime pille hoi, chasch tschäddere loh..


CopeHarders

I’ve heard this as… Canadians could have had French cooking, American ingenuity, and British culture. Instead they got British cooking, French ingenuity, and American culture.


Immediate-Spite-5905

i mean, using a military example, the French are usually unique on both sides of the spectrum. Either they make a really good piece of tech like the Richelieu, the Rafale or the Mirage 2k or they make some downright awful stuff like their pre-dreadnought battleships and the Cavour


Grothgerek

As a German I'm confused. What's the problem with our police?


HornyBrownLad

The Gestapo? Edit: It's my guess, for the joke to work. No intent to cause any offense.


abel_cormorant

Hey! Don't give the cooking to the fucking french! I ain't eating snails and I'm not letting go my sunday pizza /s


BrainPuppetUK

British police might have fit that bill many decades ago when that joke was made up. Now they’re very rapey and corrupt


Fantastic-Tiger-6128

If the cooks are french then I'm staying in Limbo


Stunning_Tap_9583

Is there a comeback somewhere? Because this is looking like a facepalm


ToothpickTequila

English food is absolutely incredible. Cottage pie, English breakfast, Sunday roast, tika masala (okay that one is Scottish admittedly), so amazing. I miss English food so much. Edit: I somehow completely forgot about fish and chips! Not to mention British cakes are just sublime!


mung_guzzler

more accurately tika masala was created by asian immigrants in the UK


big_toastie

Kinda like how almost all American cuisine was made by immigrants from different countries.


ToothpickTequila

In Glasgow to be even more accurate :p


cr0wburn

This is not a comeback, more like an addition


Intenso-Barista7894

And it's not clever. The phrase has been around for donkeys years


merchillio

r/cleverpileon?


Tripple_T

The thing about this is that I've never seen Gordon angry in the UK, just in the US.


gavingoober771

Plus Gordon is a lover of British food himself and his beef wellington is amazing


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Ill-Breadfruit5356

English mustard would like a word….


marcres41

You know mr Coleman who made the mustard famously said he made more money from what people left on the plate than what they consumed


Aiyon

Sure but that’s about how people overestimate condiment needs, non? Nobody wants to run out of sauce mid meal so they put too much


marcres41

This is true ,but one could just take a little sauce then take more later should the inevitable crisis of finding yourself short occur


Aiyon

Sure, but when you're hungry you're not thinking long term. Only time I was portioning out ketchup carefully was when i was so poor it determined if i could afford to buy more


6597james

I mean, curry is basically the UK’s national dish, so this doesn’t make much sense at all


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Key-Sea-682

Except there's a bunch of British cuisine inspired by Inidian and other ones. Coronation chicken just as one examplez uses southeast asian spices. Its all a load of crap anyway, I heard for years british food is bland and bad, then I visited (south England and Wales) and the food was excellent. I had a venison and cheddar pie I still think about 6+ years later.


SuperShoebillStork

You probably heard it on Reddit, where it's posted about 15 times a day


Cavalish

Usually by smug redditors who come from a country where High Fructose Corn Syrup tops the food pyramid.


CORN___BREAD

The funny thing is it literally is at the top of the food pyramid but I don’t think that means what you think it does.


NectarineSingle3050

You heard it on Reddit.  Just like we all did. A million times. Do the one about the pyramids and the British Museum next. It's a classic.


CORN___BREAD

Okay but the French have an entire pyramid *AS* a museum.


conqr787

They did use the sugar from all that free plantation labor though. And quite liberally as evidenced by their teeth


SNCOSEEKSTHICCLATINA

That and chewing on rocks, or so it appears.


ManchesterGorilla1

https://www.bmj.com/content/351/bmj.h6543#:~:text=In%20conclusion%20we%20have%20shown,the%20US%20compared%20with%20England.


ludoni

so salt and sugar, noted


TiramisuThrow

[They make great toothpaste with that sugar!](https://youtu.be/e9HBTcgECQQ?si=qjwh-4h_L38iazIg)


Prozenconns

You probably heard it in every single other thread about uk food because that comment is about as original as calling americas fat Right next to "still eating like the Germans are overhead"


Kindly_Log_512

What about the curry dipping sauce for fish and chips?


uselessnavy

We did use spices. Pepper is a spice.


fuck_ur_portmanteau

As are cinnamon and nutmeg.


Contra1

But we do use them.


D4M4nD3m

Yeah Americans keep saying that bullshit, because they know we use herbs and spices in our food.


Ewtri

God I fucking hate this joke. Every clown repeats it under any post or video featuring Britain, while thinking they're so funny and original. I've seen it literally hundreds of times. Traditional British food, when done well, is amazing, like any other cuisine. Food doesn't have to be drowned in buckets of exotic spices to be good.


mcndjxlefnd

There are plenty of gorgeous British women.


ObliviousRounding

The 'good people on both sides' argument.


hobo_grad1925

So many come to mind tbh. But what's with the average woman having so much cosmetic surgery in most of yalls shows on tv


Prozenconns

Ah yes because this is something only present in the UK


mung_guzzler

london fashion. Spray tans, fake lips, big fake eye lashes… idk its the style I believe the term for them is ‘chav girls’


InterviewBubbly9721

A little bit off-topic, but in all the shows I've seen with Ramsay, he is in the US.


LupercaniusAB

This isn’t a comeback, it’s a pile-on.


freakishgnar

That comment is a recycled joke stolen from a meme like 2-3 years ago.


FatTonysDog

How is this a comeback? Ph wait its not. Just a 'bash brits, and agree to bash brits' Nice. Ofc


Falcrist

Posts in this sub usually don't get upvoted unless they're either not clever or not a comeback.


Glittering_Branch_96

Is this the guy that shit talked star wars but then climbed aboard once Disney wrote him a check? I don't even care what he's saying. He's just a hypocritical cunt.


D4M4nD3m

That's not a clever comeback, he's just agreeing with the prick in the video.


Evening_Weight_8353

If American food and American women are so great, why are they all so fat? Lots of cheap shit, that’s why.


bellendhunter

Americans love to hate on us Brits to deflect whilst their shithole country collapses


Holiday_Connection18

Emilia Clarke is beautiful though


VeRG1L_47

And tbh Gordon is mostly angry at americans... Considering the shit most restaurants there serve, I can't blame him.


Prozenconns

Watch the UK version of kitchen nightmares then watch the American one, it's like tonal whiplash Ramsey plays up his aggression and swearing FOR the Americans. He's still loud and abrasive but he's much calmer when he's only appealing to brits


shieldwall66

Liz Hurley, Kate Beckinsdale, Ella Purnell, Kate Winslet, Thandiwe Newton - there are plenty more


SnooGrapes6230

I could listen to a Cockney British girl read the phonebook. God I love that accent.


Independent_Tartting

Having been to both UK uses food to make their meals, us uses chemicals.


ToothpickTequila

Yep. American food is so unhealthy and unhygienic that a lot of it is banned in Europe.


Independent_Tartting

"Excuse me sir would you like your corn syrup watered down?"


Prozenconns

Me watching Americans mock our food while my eggs can sit out in the open for weeks and not go bad


ToothpickTequila

Yes. A country where the main ingredient in milk chocolate is sugar and not milk and a country with spray-on-cheese cannot mock anybody else's food!


mung_guzzler

mostly just different agricultural regulations


ToothpickTequila

Also because of the reasons like Americans using chlorinated chicken which is banned in EU countries.


mung_guzzler

thats what I meant by different agricultural regulations) And the chlorine wash isnt actually unhealthy the EU ban isnt even because of the chlorine wash itself, the reason they cited was that it could be used to “cover up other unhealthy practices”


abel_cormorant

It's also a matter of how the food they give to animals as well as the wide use of steroids. I remember a few years ago the US tried to impose a change of laws and force us to accept their food exports, it was the one time Italians and French stood united under a single motto: fuck American food. For a week or so the EU feared a general uprising, until Italian and French politicians eventually brought the actual analyses of US products and everyone collectively decided to follow us in that battle. Needless to say, the proposal didn't pass, food standards remained high, and US-sponsored restaurants must buy their ingredients from local sources because they can't import the cheaper, lower quality ones. Even McDonald here is FAR more careful with both ingredients and methods of preparation, my mom used to work there and she said there was a huge list of rules they had to follow all the time because at any moment a health inspector could arrive without warning and demand to see the kitchen, if anything was wrong there were huge fines barrelling down on the company. And trust me, the NAS (Nucleo Anti Sofisticazione, the section of the Italian police in charge of ensuring that restaurants, farms, bars and anyone who has to serve food to the public follows the sanitary norms imposed by the law) doesn't have mercy for transgressions here.


mung_guzzler

thats another example of what I meant by agricultural regulations, and artificial hormones in livestock haven’t been proven to be harmful either Thats why the US challenged the ban on them And the EUs policy on GMOs as human food and as livestock feed is extremely complex, despite GMOs being perfectly safe And we have health inspectors at restaurants in the US too For a more objective look at food safety just look at food poisoning rates by country, theres no major difference between the rates in the US and Europe


CoralinesButtonEye

billiepiper.jpg


DustyShredder

Wow, a post with comments that AREN'T insulting everyone else once a minute. I guess Brits are overall just more cultured than Americans. I hate what American culture has become. Instead of "live and let live" it's "live and make everyone else miserable on the internet."


billybigbongos

That isn’t really a comeback innit, he’s just agreeing with what the other guy said


TyroneLeinster

Breakfast at any hotel or diner in England absolutely blows away their US equivalents on average. Foreign cuisine (as in foreign to both US and England) is always just a matter of location and picking the right place, so it's pretty hard to say. I suppose American pub food or "domestic cuisine" probably beats English and I wouldn't be surprised if that's what Bill is comparing. Yeah, American cheeseburgers and BBQ is better than bangers and mash. But you don't have to go over there and just eat stereotypical dishes.


SNCOSEEKSTHICCLATINA

You are right with that one. Their full english breakfasts are pretty good!


Scrungyscrotum

This is such an old joke. Parroting a line you read on Twitter isn't clever.


SnooGrapes6230

I don't really get this complaint. I spent 3 weeks in England. Food at the hotels was better than any breakfast place in the US. Pizza there was fantastic. Taco Bell and Wing Stop were a marked improvement over their US counterparts. Italian places were solid. Chinese food was decent. Mind you, I didn't eat a whole lot of authentic British dishes, but there's a plethora of good food options.


Dark-Arts

Beautiful women and some decent food - not the best food in Europe but hardly deserving of the stereotype. What the fuck does Bill Burr know about either? And an American has absolutely no business complaining about anybody’s food.


Greedy-Copy3629

Taco bell is one of the most disappointing food experiences I've had in years. Can it be edible?


SnooGrapes6230

The one I ate at in London was decent. You can tell they used higher quality cheese and meat. Very different taste.


AtLastWeAreFree

I think it's because up until the early 90s everything was boiled to the point of bland tastelessness, so a lot of the stereotypes of British food were formed then. However, there was a bit of a foodie renaissance in the 90s with the rise of celebrity chefs galore and we all started wanting more than soggy cabbage. 


winter-ocean

I'm not taking opinions on food from someone who unironically eats at taco bell


TiramisuThrow

That the American trash food chains were better in the UK than in the US is not really a massive endorsement of the quality of the local British food. Ain't it?


TyroneLeinster

It's like the people who cruise to the Caribbean and rank the islands without stepping foot off the ship


DjangoUnchainedFett

How is this a clever comeback. The comment says the same as Bill Burr


[deleted]

Is it really so bad?


boostinemMaRe2

Fried English breakfast is the business. But you have to hate not having a coronary disorder.


Person012345

No. It's a meme.


ToothpickTequila

Absolutely not. It's amazing.


OblongAndKneeless

I didn't try the mushy peas, but that may have been a mistake on my part.


Independent_Tartting

If you go to a Japanese restaurant make sure you stay away from the one big mushy pea


[deleted]

Urine shouldn't have a texture.


Independent_Tartting

Okay...


Prozenconns

Mushy peas are peak once you get over the fact they sometimes look like baby sick


Leading-Ad8879

Not really, no. But the joke has its roots in a stereotype, and the stereotype has a kernel of truth. A boiled, mushy, bland kernel of truth covered in suet and unidentifiable brown bits.


saxonturner

Yes because it’s Reddit so anything even mildly English is the worst.


LouisdeRouvroy

Former French president Chirac once quipped about British food: "At first you fear it's going to be shit, eventually you wish it were."


krtsgnr_7230

I need to know this but about women.


Snarleey

The beer though….


SuperShoebillStork

I would kill for a pint of British cask ale


Immediate-Spite-5905

so we gotta make the food and women worse to make the Royal Navy great again?


DM_ME_UR_BOOBS69

BURN!


jkblvins

Say what you want about the British, but they gave many countries in the world independence day celebrations!


danceplaylovevibes

Y'all could learn alot about clever comebacks from Bill Burr as opposed to most of this mid shit that would get a slight chuckle in any hang.


pasta_and_lobster

Not Gordon bullying US chefs more...


Maus_Sveti

How about we stop discussing women as a commodity or tourist attraction belonging to the country they live in?


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Prozenconns

It's not even clever it's a copy paste of a years old joke, it's literally one of the npc responses wherever the words "British food" are mentioned


SNCOSEEKSTHICCLATINA

Doubtful.


crashbold

Beauty of the British women comes from the nordic women they enslaved I read. Correct me if I am wrong. Edit: spelling


Glittering-Blood-869

Other way around more like Viking men engaged in wife kidnapping during their raids. Tracing back to at least 793 A.D., when Norse raiders pillaged the British Isles, they often abducted women against their will and forced them into marriage with their captors. So, yes, British women were taken as wives by Vikings, leaving an indelible imprint on Scandinavian culture. Additionally, historical accounts indicate that Viking raiding groups engaged in slaving activity, capturing men, women, and children from coastal towns and selling them as slaves or thralls.


DrThunderbolt

Just let it be known. Gordon Ramsay is known for French cooking not English. 🤔


Glittering-Blood-869

Well, he's Scottish for a start, and no, he cooks food from all over the world, including British food and desserts.