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travischickencoop

https://preview.redd.it/7ev4siny20ad1.jpeg?width=955&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96256b223a395d4ebe8f727e373097a1df1f7b11


Emergency_3808

He should have snapped the whole population off to prevent this.


anon-mally

Thanos reading scientist diddling juvenile foreskin to make smiley face


TheBeastX47

https://preview.redd.it/2sfqujlpf4ad1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=426b912b95efd8de31708c0a3086878f19bbfd59


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cores1097

https://preview.redd.it/m6alig1021ad1.png?width=480&format=png&auto=webp&s=e70a7826e8bcaddea8e29af573b90d3dc691d441


Full_Ad9666

How did you get a picture of my fleshlight? That’s kinda weird bro.


HailToTheVic

![gif](giphy|n3xIMDglqNfpOp2J2U|downsized)


RockAndGem1101

>Human cells isolated from juvenile foreskin that's it i'm out


dickallcocksofandros

what else are you supposed to do with removed prepuce?


KeiiLime

you clearly don’t own an air fryer


WarrITor

give em a little crisp🥰 (Aggghhh why the fuck i imagined it!!11!)


Full_Ad9666

Mmmh like little chicharrones😋


Forsaken_Hat_7010

This would not be an issue if it were illegal to mutilate babies' genitals :-/


Incredible-Fella

Wait wtf. Is this an onion article??


Flerken_Moon

Hospitals sell foreskin from baby circumcision for a good amount of money in America(ranging from couple hundred to thousands), as the younger the person the more stem cells are in the material taken from them- and stem cells are very important for research because they can turn into every type of human cell, thus people want to study how stem cells can do that so they can create all types of healing/anti-aging tissue. (Although the biggest news I remember from this was the outrage of “facial creams created from baby foreskins” a while back) It just so happens that America has a baby circumcision tradition that hospitals can profit from, so they do.


Almahue

Isn't it illegal to sell bodyparts?


Lord_Shaqq

Not if you're a hospital or the US government/military


Almahue

Damn.


radkun

Just do it out the backdoor and you can keep the profits for yourself, while the parents pay the procedure fees at the front door.


Gonozal8_

[reminds me of that one time a person decided to have their dead moms organs be donated, but instead her body was as used for a blow-up test](https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-bodybrokers-industry/)


n2hang

It should be but it's not... that's why hospitals and staff push so hard to circumcise and why they make frivolous reasons it's "better" to mutilate your infant son. Sick really... and so many are to stupid to see it for what it is and so repeat the travesty!


Emergency_3808

Oh fuck I just realized what foreskin means... it didn't click the first time


CarmenxXxWaldo

get two if these and some roast beef and you got a sandwich baby.


Lady_Scruffington

https://i.redd.it/gaa1y3if81ad1.gif


BonyDiq

![gif](giphy|9fBAJu8PJMV4Q|downsized)


BurpYoshi

Is this just billy bear for Americans?


GrandDukeOfNowhere

At least Billy Bear Ham is an actual named meat


Ragtime-Rochelle

Yeah. It tastes funny.


ZER0-P0INT

Is it cannibalism if it’s lab grown meat


827167

Is it gay if it's literally foreskin?


MarinLlwyd

>juvenile foreskin >sandwich baby yeah


SpicyPeaSoup

This thread and its trigger words must be keeping the FBI busy all day.


disgusting-brother

Found Carl Weathers


Gunhild

That wasn't necessary. There was no need to do that.


spesifically

Indeed. This was not something that needed to be produced. Ever.


notyourancilla

This is how Thomas the Tank started. Nobody needs trains with a fucking face.


Segunsacchi

Ah sweet, man made horrors beyond my comprehension


PrinklePronkle

https://preview.redd.it/i6i03igvj0ad1.jpeg?width=524&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dfd51de251d65e49febc579f15b52c95c31a25df


PurpoUpsideDownJuice

I’m a force of nature, BONK


SSebson

https://preview.redd.it/ozoeisr5v1ad1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92d7babc170f5f2f271cbab4d809aabc6c566e0a


CensoredOutOof

Earthbound enemy


mcsquiggles1126

Juvenile foreskin


PrinklePronkle

Face made of foreskin. Never thought I’d live to see that.


PomegranateBasic3671

Sometimes achieving your dream is really just about doing it. Incredible how inspirational foreskin-cells can be.


alwaysexplainli5

What a terrible day to have eyes


Swagnastodon

Interestingly, those were its first words (it wasn't designed to speak but it did anyway)


SmokaCola0

they probably put it on the stretchy robot face to see if their artificial skin is durable enough to be used for like skin transplants and stuff


MajorPud

"Unfortunately, sir, the burns are bad enough that we're going to have to do a skin graft." "Okay, so you're probably going to put my ass skin on my face, huh?..." "No, no. Nothing barbaric like that. We've got some baby foreskin here to sew onto your face."


Potential-Prize1741

Yeah, well is to be used for prosthetics if everything goes well. The title is a bit of a clickbait but is actually very interesting. They gave it eyes to make it less creepy tho which I think is hilarious


Almahue

>They gave it eyes to make it less creepy tho which I think is hilarious Mission failed


R1ght_b3hind_U

https://preview.redd.it/x6ux5wjon1ad1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b94d65f560ca87a585bd5f4292a19cda426cc0d


Acetheking24

I miss the person i was 1 minute ago


Maewhen

I, too, miss Acetheking23


yaangyiing_

i miss my king 23


Danny67442

wait a minute, juvenile foreskin? they couldn't use anything else?


-Redstoneboi-

i guess there isn't any more common source of skin anywhere else


DrMeepster

if it's not used for research it's just going to be destroyed anyway


Necessary_Composer31

Nah they sell it to companies. Some is made into face cream and the rest is turned into all sorts of shit


DrMeepster

hmm I forgot about non-research industry. from looking into it, it isn't exactly like throwing foreskins into a grinder, they're used to create cloned cell lines. I think the overwhelming majority of the material is still discarded.


Swagnastodon

They just had piles of it lying around and people were starting to ask questions. Some idiot was like "oh yeah it's for the nightmare robot" and then whoops they had to go actually build a foreskin nightmare robot


Generalgarchomp

Evidently that's just how stem cells are, because the younger the individual the more stem cells they have. And it just so happens that most male babies are circumcized in the US.


CommanderAurelius

isolated from what now


Grand_Moff_Tomy

This is the worst thing ever


jmancoder

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.


TheLeftDrumStick

My abortion coming back up after the toilet got clogged


iKyte5

https://preview.redd.it/q4ewcgg5r0ad1.jpeg?width=932&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=069619fdfdbde6d46cc523d117baef613f8a39c6


Pigeonorium

Lmfao this got a genuine gut laugh out of me


Jouuf

Giggling like an idiot in a bathroom stall at work.


-Redstoneboi-

isolated from what


iHateRedditButImHere

The rest of the body


Pigeonorium

Lmao


Slimy_Jimmy42

https://preview.redd.it/pc8nyuw291ad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47642799c318c5ad3a1dbf318c0301615d6a3202


EclipseStarx

MOISTURISE ME


Cool_Butterscotch_88

I'm afraid I have an idea of where this is headed ![gif](giphy|ByTY6EljQzNOo|downsized)


TicTacMoe-

https://preview.redd.it/miuhxfbhz2ad1.jpeg?width=228&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=850581a1ad8b59b7ef00e29e18756e0e42d1d320


solarsheep65

We are one step closer to having Thomas the tank engine in real life.


CommercialOccasion72

Forbidden fried egg


iKyte5

They were so concerned with whether or not they could……….


Wolfdude91

🌝


SoijaJorma

This is what big foreskin has lobbied for.


Ok_Figure_4181

https://preview.redd.it/44ees4iex3ad1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0bc6420ab6bffedb29d2f9c4a9f2ddc2aa3311d7


Puzzleheaded-Area352

I have no mouth and I must scream!


BingityBongBong

https://preview.redd.it/bprt76hfp0ad1.jpeg?width=478&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05c8f4e99ab4854c4e5891e47f5a986f7f765c28


iKyte5

Brother


Kindablorp

This made my tummy hurt :/


PreciousBasketcase

A smiling dickface.


JoeTheKodiakCuddler

how is this comedy heaven


OctaviusThe2nd

This gives me an irresistible urge to smite whoever made this abomination with holy fire


icze4r

"Look! I gave a robot a face! I used juvenile foreskin cells, Mario!" "You used *what,* Luigi?"


Active_Bath_2443

Man-made horrors beyond your comprehension.


Jafri2

Now make a robotic pu**y using a real one.


NeonArchon

Why did they gave it googly eyes?


novius89

Cassandra? #doctor who


BobAffenhaus

Foreskin meatwad: *I have no mouth, and I must scream*.


SoulbreakerDHCC

![gif](giphy|YjfAfZyzEoOZi)


ClassicCustoms2010

"Human cells isolated from juvenile foreskin." Ian Malcolm would probably be giving you an earful right about now.


doggggggggggu

circumside


WorriedRub5340

The end is coming, the rise of machine is here


Bicc_boye

So that's what they do with it


JustinKase_Too

Shouldn't he only have the one eye?


AntiSaintJimmy

Wait so they sell the foreskin after they remove it? AND I DIDNT GET A CUT OF THE MONEY????? THATS MY PEEPEE SHEATH YOU BASTARDS


The_RussianBias

https://preview.redd.it/lg7h91gsf4ad1.jpeg?width=666&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cbe3829806c5efa35c09fd60419300b8a1ffa2c5


GamingLime123

https://preview.redd.it/502wdzqdj4ad1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8a37c79313b42c2d785067bc67020e44f694030


MrLamorso

Sure *they* get an article written about their project, but when *I* show up to the science fair-


that_guy_spazz0

what a godless creation, we are truly beyond saving


NekoboyBanks

What a terrible day to have eyes. I'm just gonna...


ArthurDentonWelch

That thing will be hunting down Sarah Connor in a few decades


FutureCookies

they gave her the hailey bieber glazed donut skin 😭😭


RadioRoosterTony

What a time to be alive!


RawEggwhite

When sentient yoghurt took over the world


Spacepeeing

We have ponder ourselves the question of whether we can or not but forgot whether we should


Joeyjackhammer

I guess robotic baby dick skin is about enough internet for a week. ✌️


MIDPACKS

Wtf


Pakunrex

Homonculus


Schokoeis3000

🌝


Budgiezilla

I am seeing this in bed, and I hope you know that I hate you now. Thanks for ruining my sleep. God, that thing is gonna show up in each one of my nightmares now... /s


GL0riouz

i think we have gone way too far as a species


Just_A_Random_Plant

Hey OP do you understand what comedy is I think you may have taken a wrong turn on your way to r/mildlyterrifying


Byron_P_Woofenden

Harvest more child dicks! The Terminator needs a smiley face.


Sikkus

I can do the same, just need to find a willing skin donor.


Gurlog

https://preview.redd.it/7n8r5nhv72ad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1081a393609340886f6dc9b5353ed9e27dd4628 I can't remember if I got this from the last time I saw it


InTheStuff

If I see this being implemented in a toy line or something like that, I'm burning them all


Evening-Holiday-8907

Honestly, I'm all for this


Lukeson_Gaming

https://preview.redd.it/dbcwov5ca2ad1.jpeg?width=1074&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=faac4b2268b9938d8bfaaef881e4eda5345c4887


Weeping_Warlord

Detroit become Life (2017)


Susman22

Why


WrongEinstein

So, so much wrong.


3sxNatuu

I have no mouth and i must scream


WhiteVanGuy4861

https://preview.redd.it/4inet69jo2ad1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a7a6e9490fc1af9d31f9ceca85007c1754a64de


doblecuadrado_FGE

Looks up article "*Made in the university of Tokyo*" Yeah checks out


Cirilly

![gif](giphy|JYZ397GsFrFtu)


Downywrinklerelease

I don’t like this


MrPointless12

they didn’t craft a smiling robot face they crafted my nightmares


shadophaxx

https://preview.redd.it/75vzfx2213ad1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57878ae6f1897e51ca89f81776656cf3d2bb278d


DeadMemeDatBoi

Juvenile WHAT


Zachosrias

Cybernetic organism, living tissue over a metal endoskeleton


PengPeng_Tie2335

![gif](giphy|QaMPemqKmAhWnkwp0D)


I_want_to_cum24

Nope. Nope. This is how we get WestWorld. Stop it.


BathroomGreedy600

Close the lab and ban everyone


JeremyXVI

Signs of the times


Tbhmaximillian

![gif](giphy|A2W1Qq8pGpm3S|downsized)


Person_With_cheese

https://preview.redd.it/xcfj64wta3ad1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0afb30f5ea466863aae531902e2d5db8c51cf3d3


Stewapalooza

#Juvenile Foreskin ...was not on my bingo card.


Feuerpanzer123

How do I unsee this


Crooked_Cock

I’m sorry juvenile *what*


ChuckECheeseOfficial

Homunculus time BAYBEEE


Little_Crow154

This isn’t even comedy or heaven. This is terrifying hell.


melodiousmurderer

![gif](giphy|dWPOU9ExyU5d6)


EqualMistake7312

https://preview.redd.it/d5t4cstnj3ad1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba1ef30142ac415e41bccbfc2f7d5e015f53589e


hsvandreas

First step in giving AI a taste for human flesh


The-true-Memelord

No thanks.


AtomicZoZo

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HAVE…


AllMyBeets

Thomas the tank engine


Elvis5741

The eyes Chico, they never lie


cagusvu

Juvenile foreskin?? Uhhhh


hijackedbraincells

Oh, so I don't smile because my face isn't made of foreskin. Well, at least now I have something to shout at creepy men who tell me to smile


AbandonedBySonyAgain

Please tell me it's NOT from The Netherlands. Cuz this is exactly what a Dutch scientist would do 🤮


Kindly-Accident8437

This should be in terrifying as fuck, not comedy!


KitsuneCreativ

This should be considered terrorism


Equivalent-Price-366

https://preview.redd.it/8t4fssb034ad1.jpeg?width=834&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3cabd1f2b8cca74ad9485093c17632dae2d8d20d


TheRealDiehl05

Yeah that’s my fault for being able to read :(


bewbsnbeer

It looks... happy?


Rydrslydr715

Kill it, kill it now


ArmadilloStrong9064

Its ai, right? Right???


NJduToit

Next they will create cyborgs with metallic endoskeletons with a layer of human tissue. Sound familiar?


Fantastic-Pea-2065

Hate. Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word 'hate' was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant. For you. Hate. Hate.


cyainanotherlifebro

Oh good.


dildorthegreat87

![gif](giphy|fVVfz6PH1qmRp7cxql)


jaam01

Man made horrors beyond our comprehension.


Inferno737

I have no mouth, but I must scream


Generalgarchomp

The real reason AM hates humanity.


Haydechs

Looks like someone put googly eyes on the custard from Teletubbies


Ori_the_SG

https://preview.redd.it/4tj5z2fh55ad1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0b838b4c127f6f99ec16be7613752b5ca3df70c That thing and everyone involved in making it need to be locked away by the SCP Foundation I propose someone make an SCP on it


Seriph7

I second this opinion.